I'll be back. - No, No, Please Don't

Rating: 2/10 (30 May 2009)

The summer of my derivative, tired, clichéd, vapid, stale, lifeless, trite, hackneyed, threadbare, timeworn, bland, weak, flat, pedestrian, banal, dull, insipid, uninspired, repetitive movie continues apace and unabated with "Terminator: Assisted Living Community"
Ahnold is too busy helping push California into foreclosure and bankruptcy to be the main star, so it falls to Batman, Checkov, and Jester to save the world from the evil, twisted, marauding special effects.
I saw this movie at one of the midnight showing premieres, with a bunch of other hardcore Terminator fans. Christian Bale's ridiculous, menacing growl was so over the top hilarious that a good part of the audience was snickering or cracking up. Don't they have Hall's lozenges in the future?
Apparently, Terminators are also Transformers, on the theory that you should steal from your competitors before they can push their own joke movie into theaters. Which leads to speculation that Terminators may also be Turbo Rangers, Tamagotchis, and Tinkerbells, but that's another story.
This movie can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, EVER, until you are dead.
You'll pray for someone to pull the plug on you.