Not only jumped the shark but kicked it in the face.

Rating: Null/10 (5 August 2003)

*SPOILERS*
Oops!
Knowing the pants reviews this film had been getting and the fact it's a 12A did not bode well, but I had Sunday off and thought what the hell.
As a stand alone movie this probably would have been more entertaining. As a sequel to two of the definitive movies of the last 20 years it's a bit of a stinker that manages to waft away the stench a few times but still has the smelly cloud hanging over it by the end.
The most irritating thing is when good ideas are taken apart for sequels in the hands of by-the-numbers producers/ script writers et al who take the icing from a glorious cake but fail to realise that you need some marzipan and bit of fruit there too.
Prime example is the original Police Academy which was ruined by 7 poxy sequels that patronised the audience and took small pieces known to make us chuckle and did them to death. Great TV series have followed this sorry road with Men Behaving Badly, Drop the Dead Donkey, Miami Vice and even the excellent "V" hurtling down this road with the latter indulging in later episodes having lots of face peeling and lower jaw-detaching, hamster gobbling close ups to distract from the lack of good story.
And here...
While starting off excellently with the absolutely gorgeous TX appearing naked in Beverly Hills it sets the scene well, particuarly with John Connor's maudlin narration about how he has to live as a "ghost" for fear of being found by Skynet. However expectations wilt the moment that Arnie chances upon a Ladies' Night Bar to retrieve his clothes. The biker's bar in T2 was pushing it but the violence and ruthlessness of the scene plus the fact that it was NOT played for laughs meant that this could be overlooked. The scene where we knew the water skis were sailing over Bruce was when the Elton John shades came out. Bad enough that they contrived to give him his leather jacket in such a messy and shamelessly self-mocking fashion but to then say "Hey lads, we KNOW!" with a totally uneccessary and pointless additional piss-take ruined the last vestiges of credibility this had.
You don't laugh AT the Terminator. You don't make fun of him. He's not something to snicker at behind your medium-sized diet Cokes. A similar scene was done with more charm and in the space of 5 seconds in the opening credits of the A-Team. And while we're on the subject...the violence in this for the most part comes across as very A-Team-ish with cars crunched, entire building's destroyed and people thrown into heavy objects without suffering more than a sore head. Arnie's leather seems so stand up remarkably well too, sporting only a couple of nicks and tears after facing more punishment than Tyson's bonse after the Lewis fight.
Despite this, some scenes are VERY violent for a 12A. One can only assume that the BBFC's Quentin Thomas is the polar opposite of the rancid James Ferman.
The story fails to make sense a few times. If Arnie kills the future John Connor in 2032 AFTER the victory against the machines then how does that fit in? Similarly it is all a little too convenient that John Connor already knows Kate Brewster considering he's permanently on the move and why did John Connor choose as his future lieutenants a bunch of spotty herberts from high school.
The much lauded Good Terminator/ Bad Terminator aspect is awful and lasts all of 3 minutes. Rather than having him become the killer from part one for a while he simply has a tantrum and beats up a perfectly good car.
This whole thing smacks of lack of thinking and the desire to prop up the career of the future candidate for Governor of California. While Kristianna Loken is equally as good in her role as Robert Patrick was and, despite being 9 years away from his free bus pass, Arnie still rocks there is a lack of any consistent flame here even if the spark is good and strong a few times (firing a machine gun while carrying a coffin on one shoulder just looks so cool).
The one stand out moment is the downbeat and depressing ending. The otherwise excellent 28 Days Later was ruined by a falsely upbeat conclusion and I admire the film makers for going the whole hog with this.
Not good. The closest comparison I can make is that this is to T1 and 2 what Robocop 3 was to its forefathers.