T3: Rise of the One-Liners

Rating: Null/10 (4 July 2003)

From the moment he walks on screen the T101 (Ah-nuld) is a gimmick...a pale shadow of the brutal killing machine in the first film and a one-liner spouting mockery of the ardent protector he played in the second. Sadly this film is more like the crappy first trailer that was released than the subsequent trailers that made the film look salvagable.
John Conner (Nick Stahl) is still pretty much whiney and pathetic and he seems to have developed a severe eodipal complex. Claire Danes has her 'Alien Ressurection moment' as Kate Brewster, the damsel in distress. While she has a bit more initial spunk and know-how, she is basically Sarah Conner from the first film, but not nearly as engaging as Linda Hamilton. The TX (Kristanna Loken) is a waste. She has some nifty powers, but she lacks any real 'personality.' The original T101 was brutal and methodical, the T-1000 (Robert Patrick) was cold and steely, the TX can make her breasts bigger at will. A combination of T-101 and the T-1000, the TX (or Terminatrix as they refer to her once) is an endo-skeleton covered by the shape-changing liquid metal. She doesn't talk much--which is a blessing because her delivery is stale and wooden...much like the mannequins in the window she first appears with. Seems all she can do is cock her head like a confused labrador retriever.
The action and visuals are pretty good. Nothing really truly original, but it is at least moderately satisfying. Most of it takes the form of destroyed property. There are a couple of blood n guts scenes, but alot of the most gruesome stuff is kept off-camera. The soundtrack was mediocre...I missed the very recognizable Terminator theme music.
The writers try to tackle some of the plot-holes left by the first two (self-negating) films. Some of this works and some of it doesn't. This film and the events therein BEG to be taken seriously, but belagered with such horrible dialog and cheesy one-liners it's really hard to care about the impending war and subsequent apocalypse. All they (writers and director) really managed to do was turn a smart (albeit flawed) and intense franchise into a stale and watery crockery of fondue. I knew I would miss Linda Hamilton, but I never thought I'd say this...I missed James Cameron. 3/10 Stars.