What if Alf...

Rating: 6/10 (23 December 2012)

Starting as any ordinary Christmas story: When John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), an isolated friendless kid, wishes for his teddy bear to become real a simultaneously falling star transforms the cuddly toy into a living being, thus becoming best buds ever. However life goes on after childhood, as time goes by, age catches on and the child becomes a man. Ted (Seth Macfarlane) was something of a celebrity back in the days, as a walking-talking-thinking teddy with no place in our scientific-based reality. Now foul-mouthed and wise-cracking his body has remained unchanged, but inside has grown up. Still living with John they form an inseparable duo, much to the chagrin of the latter's girlfriend Lori Collins (Mila Kunis). Perpetually attached to his childhood teddy bear, John fails to grow up and take on responsibility, instead working at a dead-end job and lacking any sensibility or push to alternate his existence.
Admitedly a fan of Seth Macfarlane "Ted" seemed like a match in heaven - an intriguing premise, a stellar cast and the great comedic artistry of Macfarlane. Alas the sense of humour is a drop below his high standards, somewhat more crude and less whimsically well-placed than normal. Typically non-politically correct the overall concept works well, but lacks the substance and content for the long run, making the screen time enjoyment peter out. Most of the humour focuses on the cute teddy being lewd, heavy on drug use and apt to sexual endeavours with prostitutes or various pop stars. Inasmuch as it works for the character it doesn't make up enough backdrop for creating the holistic script. Wahlberg and Kunis do add some presence, but there just isn't enough meat on this comedic bone to make it work throughout - the silliness starts off as being charming, but just ends up tiresome.