Why did I waste my money on this ?

Rating: 2/10 (2 August 2012)

This is the first movie review I've ever done and after watching Ted it "inspired" me to write a review. How this movie has close to an 8 star rated is just sad. This movie is downright awful. I'm not really giving any spoilers because there's nothing to give away. It's pretty much an entire, drawn out recent family guy episode. Mark Walberg gets picked on as a child makes a wish and gets a magical talking teddy bear. How cute. Fast forward to when he's a 35 year old loser and Ted is still his best friend. Only now Ted turns out to be a raunchy lil teddy bear who smokes weed drink all that. It doesn't match up. Mark Walberg doesn't seem like the couch sitting loser he's portraited to be. Mila Kunis is his gf of 4 years and she has her life together. But somehow they are a couple blah blah. She wants more from him and their relationship but Ted is bringing him down with his constant drinking, smoking, all that stupid stuff. Her boss Joel McHale is constantly hitting on her but she's happy with her boyfriend. They eventually break up, she goes on a date with her boss so he can stop bothering her and then she still doesn't want him. Walberg ruins their date by performing a stupid song. Ted goes to have a serious chat with her trying to get them back together. She meets him at a restaurant then their makeup gets interrupted by Giovani Ribisi and his son who kidnap Ted. Ted gets ripped apart at Fenway Park and "dies" in a sense. Kunis wishes upon a star and he's magically back to life..the end. I can't forget the mention all the jokes throughout the movie. There was a scene where Kunis comes home to find Ted with hookers and there's a dump on the floor. That was kind of funny I did laugh at that scene. And the other kind of funny scene was when Ted is working at a grocery store trying to flirt with a blonde girl so he takes a bottle of lotion and pretends to ejaculate. Now other than that, all of the jokes revolved around Family Guy. Yeah we get it already you made Family Guy (aside from the first 4-5 seasons isn't funny at all) but was it really necessary to make your film the same exact thing as family guy? The concept could have gone so much better. The cast in the movie is great. Mark Walberg, Mila Kunis, and Joel McHale are extremely funny people. And even Giovanni Ribisi. But this movie does not in any way portray just how funny they are. It was just an awful movie. Completely overrated. Seth McFarlene is just not funny. He was at one point. When Family guy first came out it was hilarious. Just such a funny show but after season 5 it's completely redundant and overused jokes don't do it. I'm not one to be easily offended I even love toilet humor/all that crap but this movies sucks. You can't force offensive jokes down people's throats like he does. Being that I'm not a huge McFarlene fan, I wasn't expecting to be blown away. But after how many good reviews it got, I was expecting something more. Not to sit there wondering what other movies I could leave and go see.
This doesn't appeal to a certain age group because on one end you have twitter/Facebook references, Kim Karshain jokes, and other celebrities from the past 5 years or so yet the movie focuses so much around Flash Gordon. There's even a god awful Airplane reference. Two completely different time periods. Not worth seeing whatsoever. Even if it's free. I found The Other Guys to be 10000000x better. Or no scratch that. The Happening (which also stars Mark Walberg) is funnier than this movie. I hope in my lifetime Seth McFarlene never makes another movie again. Ever.