Watchability by anyone with a sense of humour more highly developed than a two-year old child = none

Rating: 1/10 (2 January 2013)

I strongly suspected I was making a mistake by deciding watch this film based solely on the fact that I enjoy Family Guy.
I wish I'd had the strength of my convictions. My only emotion on seeing this pathetic effort at humour through to its utterly predictable end was "Well, that's 90 minutes of my life I won't get back." The film's three jokes are:
1. A cute little teddy bear swears, smokes pot and likes sex. This is the main premise and is clearly such a masterpiece of original creative screen writing that it's strong enough to carry the entire film. For minute after minute after minute after minute after minute after... it just never gets old.
2. A prostitute defecates on a carpet, which has to be cleaned up by some people who, surprisingly, think cleaning up other peoples' fecal matter is disgusting. Watching them gurn and scream was nearly as funny as the fiftieth time the teddy bear swore (but only nearly).
3. A slightly odd guy dances in a camp way to Tiffany's "I Think We're Alone Now". We're privileged to be onlookers. We get to look at the funny man dance. Isn't that funny? Of course it is, so let's look some more.
Seriously Seth, don't give up the day job. And don't get rid of Family Guy's creative team either, because I now know what that show would look like stripped of originality, wit, satire and surrealism.