A question of taste

Rating: 4/10 (30 September 2012)

It boils down to a question of taste. This film takes a well worn but clever idea (a child's Teddy Bear is given the gift of cognition and speech in response to a wish) and instead of going in the predictable, maudlin direction of the child inevitably outgrowing the toy (as in I.Q.), it goes in a different direction. The child (Mark Wahlberg) never out grows the toy and the toy never outgrows the child, but both age into foul mouthed "everyman" working class jerks (with, inexplicably, the toy having better luck (but worse taste) with ladies and drug suppliers than the boy - one wonders where the boy got passably adult standards (and Mila Kunis) even to this extent - possibly by watching episodes of MacFarlane's FAMILY GUY which is much more consistent and disciplined in its humor, possibly because it's on network TV.
The problem isn't the language. When the shock value plays satirically against expectations (as in the definitive answer to IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE as a Christmas movie, THE REF) it can be bracing and fresh. Here though, it is not only all pervasive but as inconsistent as the story telling (adults and Ted swear right up to the point where a swearing father says "you shouldn't swear in front of children." Ted, the toy, is treated as a real person by EVERYONE but the possibility of selling him to a psychotic father - Giovanni Ribisi in a change of pace role - of a horrible child who wants him is treated as reasonable. The stuffed bear is shown taking a bubble bath with no realistic issues of absorption or drying out). EFFECTIVE fantasy must be grounded in some reality or at least consistency. The only consistent thing here is the overly broad Boston accents (Southey might consider defamation suits.) If gross-out comedies where prostitutes dedicating on your girlfriend's floor on a dare and your girlfriend's reaction thereto is considered ripe material for comedy in your world, add another couple stars to my rating - if not, deduct two stars.
You will still want to go along for this particular ride so badly because the acting (Whalberg and various unbilled supporting character actors - one nice cameo with Patrick Warburton and Ryan Reynolds offsets a lot of implied homophobia - and even Seth MacFarlane's voice for the well CGI'd Ted) is so good and the idea has such potential, but if you make it as far as the cameo of Sam Jones (from the campy FLASH GORDON remake) without being as high as the lead characters, or switching to the essentially more innocent (and funnier) HAROLD & KUMAR films, you may want to consider counseling.
You're definitely not going to feel comfortable watching TED with pre-teens around (one of the reasons it tanked in the theatres) and I have to wonder who else the film makers had in mind when they green lighted it. Who else would laugh at the idea of Lance Armstrong's testicle (lost to cancer) being bronzed and displayed by a collector - not to mention followed by the obvious line from period Mounds/Almond Joy commercials.
The traditional fight scene between the best buddies (and the whipping of Whalberg's half naked ass by said best buddy) is a moment or three I will long remember, but all in all I cannot honestly recommend the film as a whole. Whalberg in song (not too long after the fight scene) will probably recall Cameron Diaz's challenged vocalizing in MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING for many, but without the warm romantic pay-off. Nothing in TED has that kind of pay-off, and that's the real problem.