When you wish for a Talking Teddy Bear

Rating: 8/10 (8 June 2016)

I laughed my head off at Seth MacFarlane's new comedy "Ted." Seth is the guy who created a popular adult animated sitcom called "Family Guy." If you have seen the show, you know what you're getting into with this picture. Raunchy humor, gags, and a stoner Teddy Bear. Let me just say that, this film is not for kids at all. It's very adult and the concept of a talking teddy bear might be appealing to younger audiences but it's very much an adult film.
It's about a lonesome child, John Bennett, who makes a wish at Christmas time that his new teddy bear come to life and be his friend forever. The wish comes true and Ted comes to life. Word spreads the he is alive and he becomes a brief celebrity. Years go by and, John (Mark Wahlberg) is 35 years old and living a hedonistic life with Ted as his roommate. With his anniversary approaching, his girlfriend, Lori (Mila Kunis), wants to marry John but fears if Ted is always around, he will never move forward. When Ted moves out on his own, a creepy dad takes a twisted interest in the bear and it's up to his old friend to save him from being bear-napped.
Seth makes his directorial debut with this film and If you've ever watched "Family Guy," then you're aware of the raunchy humor and this picture is no different. Peter is the boozy slacker, Lois is the dirty wife, Meg is the dork, Chris is the dummy and Brian is the brainiac. Seth is able to create a family of characters that never seem to run out of steam. There is always a cutaway gag, a laugh or a joke that will make you howl. The show has been running for years now and it doesn't seem like it's going to die out anytime soon. "Ted" is the same as "Family Guy." It's funny enough to keep you entertained and it never runs out of steam. Ted's foul mouth is enough to make you laugh but the situations he finds himself in with John are hilarious.
Patrick Stewart opens the film with an explicit narrative and we meet young John. He's the kid that nobody likes in the neighborhood and wishes for a friend. When his parents, Seth MacFarlane and Alex Borstein, who voices Lois from "Family Guy," gives him the bear, he makes the wish under his sheets with a flashlight and the bear comes to life. Now the question I had is "How is a talking Teddy bear going to be funny?" I got my answer. Most of the laughs in the film comes from the bears dialogue. He's incredibly vulgar, he inhales vast amounts of weed from a bong and has a childhood hero in the form of Sam J. Jones from the 1980 film "Flash Gordon." He has a love for drugs and hookers and he offends everyone he comes in contact with. He ends up getting a job as a cashier at a local grocery store and has sex, somehow, with one of his co-workers, Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth) in the back of the store on the produce.
It takes on the issue of staunch friendship in a hearted way. Ted and John, call themselves the "Thunder Buddies." and it has something to do with thunder and a fart. Mila Kunis is sweet as John's girlfriend but she is under-used. When Ted is forced to move out, the real challenge begins. John is always running off to spend time with Ted even though it will get him in trouble. "How do you say away from your trouble-making best friend?" There is a sequence where Ted is at a party with John and they dare Sam to punch through a wall to prove he is Flash Gordon. Sam Jones has become a party animal and breaks through the wall angering an Asian man with a knife in one hand and a duck in the other. I actually had to hold my stomach because I laughed so hard. The scene descends into chaos and you will have to watch it to see an amusing fight between Ted and the duck.
MacFarlane has given us a comedy we can finally laugh at but there's a subplot in the film involving a creepy father, Donny (Giovanni Ribisi) who wanted Ted when he was a kid. Now he has turned his sights on trying to get Ted for his spoiled chubby son, (Aedin Mincks). After all the jokes, it serves as the peril for the film. I supposed something has to happen in the end but it's basically a setup to give Ted a lot of time to poke fun at the chubby kid "Oh, I hear the fat kid." Even during a peril situation, MacFarlane manages to keep the steam going. I must say he is one of the most talented minds I have seen in a very long time. The film will presumably do well at the box office and you can bet there will be a "Ted 2."
This is one of the funnest movie of the year but It's clear to me that this film will be in the crosshairs of younger kids given that it's about a talking teddy bear but it's much more adult than "Family Guy." I must stress to parents that the film is very adult and a very R-rated movie. A lot of parents will see the poster and figure a talking teddy bear in a movie could be cute. No, take your kids to see anything but this and enjoy it for yourself.