Gawd Awful!!!

Rating: 1/10 (11 July 2012)

I just do not get it!!! This movie is just plain awful, and yet it is breaking box office records for "R-rated" comedies. With a running time of 98 mins, I could only manage to sit through the first 40 minutes before turning off this unfunny, quite boring, and quite disappointing film.
The premise of this film is quite simple. At the age of eight (8) years old and with no real friends of his own, little John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) makes a Christmas wish for his teddy bear to come to life. Ted and John become life long friends ("thunder buddies"); however, after twenty-seven (27) years of friendship, John must decide on either staying with his girlfriend of four (4) years Lori (Mila Kunis) or Ted.
Ted is the brainchild of Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy / American Dad) and he voices Ted as well. Ted has no redeeming qualities, and is combination of the two characters Quagmire and Brian from the Family Guy TV series. He's a pot-smoking, hooker dating, grocery clerk humping, foul mouth Neanderthal, who Lori (Kunis) feels is preventing her and John from having the adult relationship that she so desires to have.
In the 40 minutes that I managed to sit through, I never laughed, smirked, grinned or even hinted to a gesture of happiness to any of the "so-called" comedy being presented on screen because there wasn't any there!!!! Unless you consider a foul-mouth, pot smoking teddy bear as being funny, which I did not. However, the scene in which I could take no more, is when Ted, while working as a clerk out clerk in a local grocery store gets caught "bopping" another check out clerk in the store room, and explains to his boss that, "Last week he screwed her with a parsnip and sold the parsnip to a family of four"  so his boss promoted him. IS THAT FUNNY?????? REALLY??? God, I feel like my dad now, I must be getting old!!!! Anyways, the film is making money hand over fist, and has already crossed the $100 million, and expected to cross the $200 million mark by summer's end. I JUST DO NOT GET IT!!!!!! I cannot recommend this film, I cannot even finish watching this film. It's being marketed as this year's "The Hangover", and I can assure you it is nowhere as funny as the "The Hangover". I would say avoid at all costs but who am I???? SEE MORE OF MY REVIEWS ON FB @ "THE FARIS REEL"