Mind-numbingly awful

Rating: 1/10 (25 June 2014)

Just saw this on an insomniac Sunday morning, last day of a three day free HBO weekend. Watched over half of it, before mercifully falling asleep. This movie SUCKED, BIT, BLEW, INHALED and nineteen other oral sex metaphors I am too tired to reach for. Amazingly stupid, poorly written, not funny, incoherent. I did like the idea that briefly Ted's incredible story was big news and he became a minor celebrity, but they really went nowhere with that. Ted's being a living toy ceased being relevant to the plot. We could have been watching Damon and Afleck running around Southey. Even the prologue and Patrick Stewart's narration falls completely flat. It sounded as if it was written by an 8th grader. "And then they grew up....heh heh....and things became shitty.....heh heh. It makes me feel sad for the future of humanity that people who are able to operate motor vehicles and vote, think this film is funny.