Funny despite itself, and oddly enjoyable

Rating: 8/10 (17 March 2013)

Ted is rude, crude, full of crass humour and 'clever' references, self-aware to the point where the characters do all but wink at the camera, and absolutely ludicrous. Yet it is this acceptance of what it is, and complete lack of loftier ambitions, both genuinely funny and actually endearing in a bizarre kind of way.
The premise is so simple it's genius: A boy wishes his teddy bear would come to life, and by a miracle that is exactly what happens, and the boy and the bear promise to be friends for ever. But rather than a childhood friendship story, Ted flashes forward to what happens when the boy grows up, and the bear ages along with him. What we see is the now grown-up Johnny (Mark Wahlberg) living with his long term girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) and the eponymous bear (voiced by Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane), who is now a foul-mouthed, weed-smoking and generally hard-living waster. The plot then (such as it is) leads to a somewhat obvious theme of learning to grow up and take responsibility.
Unfortunately, the paper-thin predictable plot only seems to serve to detract rather than add to the film's premise, which in itself grows slightly wearing after a while. Certainly there is a great novelty value in seeing a grown man eating, drinking, talking and fighting a talking teddy bear, and in hearing the bear swear and tell vaguely racially offensive jokes, but the novelty starts to wear off when the film tries to enter the more serious middle third. Fart jokes and an actual reference to Family Guy's Peter Griffin all serve to point out that this actually is all rather derivative after all. No doubt fans of MacFarlane's earlier work will love it (and will cry shame that MacFarlane remains "misunderstood"), but they would no doubt have watched it anyway. And therein lies the problem. This almost feels like a feature-length live-action version of a Family Guy episode, which might be great for some, but it is unlikely to win any new fans to MacFarlane's work.
Most of the characterization is very simple and 2-dimensional, with Wahlberg himself, for all the film's message of taking responsibility and growing up, not actually developing much as the film goes on, leaving the audience to wonder why on earth the similarly-bland Mila Kunis is with him in the first place. The rest of the supporting cast are little more than paint-by-numbers stereotypes, particularly Joel McHale as Lori's sleazy boss, while the underused Giovanni Ribisi could have been something interesting, had his wannabe-bear owner Donny been given more than a few minutes of screen time here and there. However, Patrick Stewart's opening and closing voiceovers do provide some genuine laughs, and hearing Captain Picard/Professor Xavier swear is quite an eye- (and ear-) opening experience!
Having said all that, Ted does contain a large number of genuinely funny lines (even if a lot of them do appear in the trailers) and did produce a few laugh-out-loud moments, particularly with the numerous references to 80s movies, although sense of taste and political correctness may need to be left at the door. A liberal sprinkling of the F-word (and isolated stronger swearing) ensures that this film should definitely not be mistaken for a family-friendly film. In the end, Wahlberg and Kunis do not need to do a great deal, and allowing themselves to be out-acted by a computer-generated teddy bear in a predictable growing-up plot line, while slightly embarrassing for their CVs, somehow does not detract from the overall appeal of the film. There is something about the predictability, and seeing the friendship endure between Johnny and Ted that is both enjoyable and somehow strangely comforting.
Just like a teddy bear.