For all the good this movie has to offer, "Ted" is surprisingly just a step above "meh".

Rating: 6/10 (8 February 2014)

It's got the '80s cultural references and Peter Griffin-voiced main character you'd expect from Seth MacFarlane, and there's a handful of pretty funny lines, and that's about it. I'm not Wahlberg's biggest fan, but the guy really does a pretty good job convincing us he's not acting against a CGI placeholder. I was hoping for more Ralph Garman, but the dude only had one flippin' scene.
But you've gotta respect MacFarlane for getting Patrick Stewart to narrate this silliness. A flick about a talking stuffed bear dabbling in potty humor . . . Patrick effing Stewart. That the guy even has a chummy relationship with such an unparalleled god means MacFarlane has mounted his own golden chariot and is racing towards similarly lofty heights. Respect.
Also, the Thunder Song was easily worth the price of admission. Movie's pretty forgettable, but I still have that song in my head.
6/10