I didn't think my low expectations could have been disappointed. They were

Rating: 1/10 (8 August 2012)

It almost feels necessary to reciprocate the vulgarity of this so called 'comedy' in order to express my distaste for its unoriginality, offensiveness, and ability to absorb incessant laughter from a mass audience, excluding myself. I will however restrain and refrain from reducing myself down to that level, in comedic terms, that level being beneath the basement of laughter.
The fact Seth MacFarlane's directorial debut is categorised as a comedy is quite tragic. If 0ff-colour humour and flatulence are primary appeals for modern audiences, then we can unfortunately (or not if you enjoy it) prepare for a future comedy genre flooded with idiotic and stale humour. Every laugh in the theatre possessed a sense of shock, prior to genuine laughter because of the crude nature of the every ever predictable and tired joke, which were exhausted even before the opening credits.
Take the attempted humour away from Ted and what are you left with? Other than a slightly more bearable two hours, the remains would be shorter than the amount of time it took me to want to leave the screening, which was not long at all. With all three of our main character's motives established early, their actions only become increasingly obvious, so obvious that one could probably predict the events if they were to have held a glass to the door of the screen with one ear at the other end and just listened rather than watched. They would have most likely had more fun than I too!
While having a strong dislike for MacFarlane's three hugely popular animated series, I find my reasoning behind this similar to that of my loathing for Ted. These, in my opinion, pathetic excuses for the moving image, embark on what I can only describe, feels to me like being trapped on a one way train filled with loud, obnoxious passengers who are engaging in ignorant disputes, throwing useless insults at one another. The little steam it had prior to boarding is quickly diminished because of the engineer, MacFarlane's lack of skill to sustain a working locomotive.
Despite the above, perhaps harsh criticisms, there were few positive elements to the worst film I have seen this year, maybe any year. The combination of live action and animation looks superb, to a point where you do not even question the reality of the character Ted's existence. It would have complemented the film more had we seen more emotion displayed by the character in terms of facial expression and body language, as it is solely dialogue which makes him feel like any more than a child's teddy bear. Overall though, the Tippet Studio visual effects team did a terrific job. Back to reality, or well, a real person in Mila Kunis playing a fictional character. The most convincing of all characters due to the genuine emotion she appears to convey.
The only way in which the eyes that are looking over the hands typing this review would once again witness the film that is Ted, would be if Universal Studios decided to pay me. Those who are fans of MacFarlane's work on Family Guy and subsequent almost identical series will be prone to enjoying another very similar tale of pointless storytelling. I personally would not recommend this immaturity to anyone who does not appreciate the director's other works.