Offensive, wrong and childish, "Ted" is hilarious and then it becomes a Hollywood rom-com

Rating: 7/10 (8 July 2012)

The great thing about "Ted" is that they know their target audience. And they hooked us from the very beginning. It starts with a fairly well written narration about how in 1984 on Christmas eve, all the Boston kids would gather together and beat up the Jewish kid, and then the next morning they would open their presents. One little girl got a Cabbage Patch Kid — the identical one which I got on the exact same morning. They had similar clips for the rest of the audience.
John (Mark Wahlberg) got Ted, a teddy bear, who became a real, live teddy bear. "A Christmas miracle, just like baby Jesus." That should give you a sense of what the humour is like. It's blasphemous, homophobic, racist and culturally offensive. For those who don't get offended easily it's actually pretty funny.
As John grows up and Ted becomes famous (he is a walking, talking teddy bear after all) they settle down for a life filled with childish behaviour and lots of pot. One morning, John is too stoned to drive to work, but behind a blue haze of marijuana smoke, Ted says it's okay, he can. And so he does. I couldn't help myself but laugh.
A lot of people seemed to be delighted by the fact that there was a story to the movie "Ted"; somehow expecting that there wasn't going to be one. As much as Hollywood would prefer to not have to tell a story, they always at least try. But don't let the fact that there is a story confuse you into thinking it's a good one. It's not. It's a simple romantic comedy about a guy who can't grow into a man because as long as he has a teddy bear he will always be a kid. That is paraphrased directly from the movie.
The novelty of the humour does wear off as the story builds up. Most of the lines remain funny, but I would like to think that they could have made the plot funny too. An element which makes "Horrible Bosses" (2011) a better movie than this.
Wahlberg essentially plays himself, minus the singing ability, so he was very natural but his reactions weren't as funny as in "I Heart Huckabees" or some of his other comedies. Giovanni Ribisi, on the other hand, does not play himself – I hope! And he hasn't been funnier. He plays that creepy guy from the park with the kid who could be his son or who may be his lover.
Some scenes I was a bit too creeped out to laugh, some scenes were so damn funny that I couldn't help but laugh, and some scenes should have been made funnier. Which is probably what most people would expect to get out of a movie like "Ted'.