Probably the most uncomfortable I've ever felt watching a movie.

Rating: 10/10 (22 July 2019)

Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver is famous and infamous for a lot of reasons. Questions over whether or not Travis is a lunatic, an intelligent cunning man who knows what he wants, or a depressed man trying to gain revenge on a world that doesn't like him and which he doesn't like in return ( I personally believe it's the third one) or the countless theories that the ending is a dream sequence/ a hint he's a violent ticking time bomb that will strike again as a hero or the villain he originally attended to go out as. But what stuck me the most about the movie was his characteristics. You see, when I first started watching the movie, I got a sense that the intelligent, observant, insightful man Travis was trying to show to world, and by extension the audience was full of crud. Why? Because I act and lash out the same way as he does. The projection he lays out to Betsy explaining to her that "all the telephones in her office doesn't hide her loneliness" , his uncalled for criticism of her coworker, his obsession to Betsy bleeding into his lust to kill the senator. These are all things I can see myself doing I've tried to convince myself and other romantic interests of how sophisticated I am when in reality I don't stand by anything. Notice how Travis has no interest in politics but yet tries to act as if he has any interest in what his significant other is passionate about in order to impress her. But when she asks him basic questions of his policies, his mask cracks. He has the charisma to breeze over the questions but that still doesn't excuse the fact that this is a man without a true identity. All he knows is hate. Hatred for how Betsy treated him, hatred for his fellow taxi drivers acceptance of the destructiveness that happens around them, hatred towards Sports manipulation of Iris. All he wants to do is push his pain and hatred to other people. This is the only reason he planned to kill the senator. He just wanted Betsy to feel what he was feeling. He's no hero: everything he did was selfish and it was for himself. He never wanted to be seen as anything or condemned/ praised for his actions. He just wanted to cause misery and die. His "saving" of Iris wasn't even wanted by her: he only did it so he can feel accomplished in completing a mission that will, in his mind, will lead him to die from the gangsters or through suicide. He fails and he's left to suffer again. It's almost as if the film is warning me over my self destructive behavior. My treatment of women is similar to that of Travis albeit a lot less violent and extreme. However the consequences can still be as dire. Loneliness, suffering, and self hatred manifested in a lust to cause others the same pain. I am grateful of how Robert was able to portray a depressed and isolated man in a such a believable and terrifying manner. Everything from his snide tone to his devilish smirk leads to one of the greatest performances I have ever had the privilege of watching. I absolutely detest and hate all of the characters in the movie, especially Travis, but to me that's only because of how personal this story feels to me. It surely is a masterpiece of a movie and I highly recommend watching it. 10/10