Taken 2: Don't go

Rating: 1/10 (17 October 2012)

So, its a stinker!
If you came to see Liam Neeson kicking ass, my advice is turn back now and save your money. This is entirely due to the inability to actually see what the heck's going on in all of the films actions sequences and stunt co ordinations. The film looks like it was filmed on the site of a permanent earthquake with a camera dangling by a rope. If you have epilepsy this might be one to avoid considering how quick its been edited. Its almost like director Olivier Megaton said "yeah we're going for the subliminal message type look, edit it like that" And you want anything remotely reminiscent of the first films action? well forget about it because it hasn't been included.
What you will be treated to however is a cheap, watered down child friendly, completely unrealistic, trashy, knock off 'Rom Com with bullets' B reel, sold purely on the title of "Taken" alone.
Huge plot holes dominate the script from start to finish, in its purest form its basically an awful rehash of the first film but 1000 times worse, placing Maggie Grace (Bryan Mills daughter) as the heroine trying to rescue her parents from a load of bungling Albanians (yes they are literally that bad, think of Manuel from Faulty Towers and you have your starting point) . Liam Neeson does his best with what he's got, but there's only so much you can do with a turd script like this. Unfortunately its so laughable that Neesons character starts to look like a paranoid delusional psychopath that sees kidnappers everywhere. They must have forgotten to include the scene where Neeson gains his super power to spot evil doers just by looking at them, but hey that's what happens so get over it!
Not only that but did anybody even look at a map before this script was written? Had anybody even been to Turkey or Albania? Clearly its the best location in the world to magically learn how to drive a car, because that's what Maggie Grace does! However there's also a dire lack a qualified torturers because no one can do it, or interrogate or generally manage to do anything right! Alternatively, if you feel like throwing some hand grenades off rooftops without anybody batting an eyelid then this might just be the place for you. Don't worry about the police, they'll be to busy driving around in there 1970s bangers they hauled right off the scrap heap, where this movie also came from.
Unfortunately the worst news is that Taken 3 already seems to be on the horizon. Many of you will be asking 'how...why....who....???' but unfortunately money speaks louder than taste. I imagine the plot will be an all black screen and Liam Neesons voice over "Your money has been taken". The horror that it was a 12a should have sent alarm bells ringing before I even bought the ticket, alas my money and respect for the film industry is now gone forever. What's even more painful is the fact that Luc Besson is partly responsible for this mess, Luc Besson! director and producer of some truly awesome films.
Please don't see this film, please don't be 'Taken' in