The Attack Of The Coulda-Beens

Rating: 6/10 (23 February 2013)

The secret to not hating this movie is in expectations. If you expect a step-up from Taken (as Aliens, or Terminator 2), you'll be angry. If you just want to see Liam Neeson and fights and explosions... well, happy day.
My overriding feel is that this is like a steak pulled off the grill long before it was done. There's the germ of a good movie here. Some clever, creative writer should have spent a lot more time developing it; some clever director should have realized it; and some capable stunt-coordinator should have had a capable camera-man capture it.
Instead, we get the half-baked, bloody undone thing served up on a shaky, cracked plate.
Where to start? Let's take continuity and character-growth. I mean, seriously: what does a guy have to do to get a "Trust Me, I Know What I'm Doing" card? Didn't the wife and daughter even *see* the first movie? Evidently not, because they're still disrespecting Neesons's character, deceiving him, shutting him out, and demanding that he submit everything with an explanation in triplicate. That's quickly obnoxious and boring.
And then, yeah, dimwit Maggie Grace can go around tossing grenades and no one notices. Good to know about Turkey. I'm sure they appreciate that image.
But you know, the premise that "All these people you killed in the first movie had relatives, and they're ticked" is totally workable, and a good set up. But it just doesn't go anywhere. The Godfather character is picturesque, but hollow. And all the guys who get killed in this movie are just as colorless as -- more than! -- the guys they're supposedly avenging.
And then it's just kind of funny: for the whole movie, most of them are just canon fodder for Liam Neeson to kill -- until the last henchman. Suddenly there's ONE GUY who's got the stuff to equal Neeson...even though he's a pudgy, relatively older guy!
Who is this one man who alone is the equal of Neeson's killing machine? Have we even seen him before, among all the other nameless, sweaty, unshaven Middle Eastern types? Why is he the only capable one in the organization? Where did he get the skills that enable him to come an atom away from killing Neeson, which dozens of others COMBINED failed to do? Is there an interesting story there, a compelling character, someone with a story to rival Neeson's?
We don't know. He exists only to provide a climax. I mean, it's a good scene, what I could see of it... but it had no real emotional resonance. Because unless I missed something, he just appeared from the shadowy figures at the wall, Swarthy Thug #47. A good writer could have set us up for some real tension. Too bad there wasn't one in sight.
And back to that "what I could see of it": good heavens. Really? Shaky- camera-as-substitute-for-well-done-action-choreography in a high-budget picture? Why? WHY??
With photography like that, if Neeson isn't available, maybe Ed Asner could star in Taken 3.
Or me, for that matter.