Taken as well.

Rating: 3/10 (12 October 2012)

As far as by the numbers revenge movies go, "Taken 2" is nothing more than a tamed down (PG-13) cinematic impersonation of its undeniably entertaining predecessor. Directed by Olivier Megaton, the beginning of "Taken 2" sees the return of Liam Neeson as retired CIA agent Bryan Mills, visibly distressed by the revelation that his daughter has started dating boys behind his back. But that's not the sole reason for his aggravation, because not only has his daughter betrayed his trust, it also comes to light that she has been skirting her driving lessonsafter having already failed her test 4 times! Wait, what's with all of this storyline?! Get to the "taking" already! Anyway, after about thirty minutes or so, there is a story centered around the father of one of the men Bryan had killed in the previous film (who distractingly resembles The Most Interesting Man in the World) taking it upon himself to exact revenge on Bryan's entire family, by attempting to TAKE themhostage. And while moments (very few) of this particular storyline do contain a sort of likeness to what one might call "entertainment", "Taken 2" ends in abysmally cheesy style, with one of the most (although incredibly quick) tacked on finales I've seen in recent years; befitting a straight to video production. To those who think I am harping on "Taken 2" for its predictable storyline, I'm not. Because that, as well as the (I would suspect) very intentional corniness throughout, is quite forgivable; and is in fact what I expected from a movie called "Taken 2". What isn't forgivable is the fact that the direction, especially during the fight sequences (aka the most important sequences of the movie) was mostly undecipherable. And even when the camera settled down enough for audiences to distinguish who is being hit, said fight scenes were utterly uneventful and terribly choreographed; clearly highlighting a Liam Neeson that can't move around so well anymore. And does it make me sound morbid that I was very upset not to see any type of torture scene in this movie? I can't be the only one.
Allow me to go one step further by saying "Taken 2" is riddled with a cornucopia of stupid scenes, which all together ruin any "coolness factor" it could have had. If you don't believe me, here's a very long example:
After Bryan Mills and his wife (or ex-wife, or whatever) are cornered by the Albanian "bad guys" at gunpoint, Bryan proceeds to take out his cell phone and call his daughter (who is still back at the hotel). The "bad guys" apparently let him do this for some reason. Anyway, he explains to his daughter that his wife (or ex-wife, or whatever) are going to be "taken" and that she must now hide because Albanians are likely coming to "take" her as well. Upon hearing this, his dumb daughter doesn't seem to know where to hide (it's not like she hasn't done this before) so Bryan tells her, right in front of the "bad guys", to hide in the closet. OK, so this happens about 45 minutes into the movie, but here's the thing: It had already been established many times before that the "bad guys" spoke and understood English. But it comes to be, that even though Bryan tells his daughter where to hide, right in front of the "bad guys", in a language everyone in the film seems to understand, the "bad guys" still can't seem to locate her brilliant hiding space. But maybe I'm overthinking this. I guess it could have been that the "bad guys" simply forgot how to understand English in that moment, or maybe Neeson's accent was just too thick for them to comprehend? I don't know. Anyway, this movie is filled with scenes of that nature, including an inane and rather long sequence, which involves Bryan's daughter throwing grenades off of rooftops, with seemingly no reaction from the locals.
Final Thought: "Taken 2" is what happens when Hollywood producers attempt to milk every last drop of story out of an original premise that wasn't that deep to begin with. Not to say that this is entirely unwatchable, between Neeson's dry comedic timing and his facial expressions which seem to say "how many minutes until we break for the day?" there are moments of levity that could be seen as "so bad that it's good" camp. But, by the end of "Taken 2", it will have become apparent to everyone in the theater that not even Neeson (the newest Hollywood action hero) could have saved a movie that is destined to be shown at 3 A.M. on Showtime.
Written by Markus Robinson, Edited by Nicole I. Ashland
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