The Count of Johnny Cristo

Rating: 4/10 (2 January 2008)

Let me begin by saying that I've never written a review before now. I was compelled to do so for this movie because I simply can't understand why it has such a high rating. Did no one else notice that this is a goth knock-off of The Count of Monte Cristo? Alright, so the mise-en-scene is great. It's got a classic Burton look and feel. But beyond the visuals of the film, it falls flat. While I enjoy the concept and dark humor of what the characters do, there's little to actually like about any of them. One could say the same of Daniel Day-Lewis' latest role in There Will Be Blood, but his characterization is so masterfully and undeniably inspired that the performance is none-the-less mesmerizing and enjoyable to watch. Whereas in Sweeney Todd, the usually charming Depp basically mopes about whenever he's not slitting throats. Sure, he looks great as always, but his choices are rather predictable. I can picture any number of actors playing this role simply by slapping some makeup, a wig, and leather boots on them. Even the sympathetic characters fail to conjure much emotion beyond annoyance. The worst character of all however is the music. (Unfortunate, seeing as this is a musical.) The score itself is enjoyable, but the lyrics are cheesy and dreadful. It's hard to care much for a song about bad pies. "I Feel You Johanna" sounds like something by John Cougar Mellencamp. The hooks in "Pretty Women" and "Not While I'm Around" are heavily reminiscent of several tunes from Willy Wonka (which has a good 7 years on Sondheim's musical.) Thinking back now, I did like the ending, but I was too far removed at that point to even appreciate it. All in all, this is just another movie musical that fails to achieve the magic of a live theater experience.