It's man devouring man, my dear! The dynamic Burton-Depp duo scores another point for Team Delightfully Creepy

Rating: 10/10 (6 February 2008)

THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN A SPOILER ABOUT ANOTHER MOVIE, "FINAL DESTINATION 3." PLEASE DON'T BLACKLIST ME.
I'm probably the fourth biggest Johnny Depp fan in the world (next to his mom, his wife and his two kids.) But I was one of the last people in my school to see this film, because I haven't much time on my hands. Believe me, it was worth the wait.
First of all, Johnny Depp can sing. I saw Cry-Baby, and they dubbed another guy's voice in. But Johnny doesn't sing like a youngish Elvis, he sings the way he speaks - amazingly well.
I'd never seen Sacha Baron Cohen in a movie before, because Borat wasn't really my type of film, but he was pretty darn good too.
Helena Bonham Carter: I don't care who she's married to, she's an amazing actress and singer on her own merit. I went to see this movie because my friend was singing "A Little Priest" at lunch (worst part is, she's a vegetarian!) And I just adore her character's name, or rather I love it. Get it, Love it, Lovett? Feel free to groan.
Sorry, Alan Rickman, I'm afraid you will now forever be stuck playing the sleaze.
But the real star of this film was the music. The lyrics, melody, harmonies; it was awe-inspiring. It pains me to admit that I've never seen the musical itself, but what songs were intact were spectacular. I don't think I'll ever get "A Little Priest" out of my head (which is a bit embarrassing during Mass) and "Epiphany" gave me goosebumps. I apologize if this hurts any feelings, but I just didn't care for the Johanna song. Not the one she sings, the one Antony sings about her. His voice is just too perfect and clean and innocent. This is what drives hard-rock fans *away* from musicals. He reminded me of Raoul in Phantom just a little bit. I gravitate toward the dark side.
One thing bothered me: the ending. It was justified but it surprised me. I'm known in my class as "the pyrophobe." I can't even light a Bunsen burner, which makes me infinitely grateful for lab partners. I almost died watching the tanning beds in Final Destination 3. On the other hand, my friend with whom I saw the film was more bothered by Toby with the knife, because children killing people freaks him out (probably because he's got a thirteen-year-old brother and a preteen sister.) Overall a splendid movie which will have my friends and I singing about "shepherd's pie peppered with actual shepherd on top" for a good long time. Much love for a musical that doesn't involve cheerleaders, shiny dresses and bad dancing, or Donny Osmond in a multicolored coat.