Superbad: an appropriate description for this sorry excuse for a movie

Rating: 1/10 (23 August 2007)

I had to think back over the plethora of movies I've seen, and this is the worst piece of garbage, hands down, that I have ever seen produced. Of course, mass audiences are eating it up, much like they eat up the swill at HomeTown Buffet, replete with it's new and improved sneeze guards. If you loved the likes of "Men In Black", "True Lies", "American Pie" or any Jackie Chan movie, you'll probably love this stinker. Likewise, if you don't understand why I'd use the aforementioned films as criteria when they ostensibly aren't of the same genre as this pile of feces, let me offer a simpler litmus test: Do you laugh uproariously when people say the words, "tits", "fart", "booger", "vagina", or "dude, I'm gonna hurl!" in no particular context other than just saying the words? If so, this movie is for you. If none of these tests apply to you, save yourself the extreme boredom and waste of spending more than 1 second on this worthless endeavor. I started squirming from boredom during the opening credits and stuck it out, for reasons unknown, up until the midway point before I had to leave. It was the first time I actually felt like replicating that scene from "Family Guy" where Stewie flew out to Hollywood to slap a director in the face for causing him to waste 90 minutes of his life on such a patently worthless and unentertaining disaster. This movie was insipid, uninspired, vapid, tiresome, trite and wasn't even effective at its attempts at vulgarity. The characters and dialog were loathsome as was the direction and writing. I'm sure it will be a box office smash given the putrid tastes of American audiences.