Pooper 8

Rating: 1/10 (8 June 2011)

Something strange is happening in a small town after a train derails . What was supposed to be a nostalgic look at the lives of a few middle schoolers in 1979 turns out to be the biggest movie non event of the year. Something is not right in this movie that fails for three reasons. First, it is entirely too much like the old "Twilight Zone" and "Outer Limits" TV shows. Secondly, the predictability factor manifests itself from the beginning. You know exactly what is going to happen before it even does. You just sit there and viola! It happens. Third is the "Lets use every cliché from every sci-fi movie ever made" factor.Self explanatory. The no name cast doesn't have one character you even care about. They look too clean, too polished,and too plastic just like animatronics at a Disney World attraction.And yes, they all have what I like to call the "Spielberg Look"- you know, that dazed, glazed facial expression that was so prominent in "ET". If this turkey bears a resemblance to "Close Encounters", "War of the Worlds", "ET", "Cloverfield", and "The Goonies", thats the idea. There isn't an original idea anywhere in this mess. Its as if director Abrams was told to make a homage to early Spielberg films by Spielberg himself, and thats exactly what he did. Film does have its moments, but they are few and very far between. Film tries to be nostalgic, but 70s nostalgia? A great decade! Disco, Jimmy Carter, the looming Iran hostage crisis, inflation, oil crisses, unemployment, polyester, etc, etc. Kinda of sounds like today, doesn't it? I can go on and on but, dear reader, I think you get the point. This film has the cheesiest ending since "Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull",and the schmaltz in the last two minutes or so seems to have been applied with a trowel.As is, just alright for eight year old kids or undemanding viewers. However, adults who are looking for something with some brains and intelligence should go to another multiplex. However, you gotta admit that Spielberg is pretty smart. He just bought himself a 300 foot long yacht that cost over 200 million dollars.Mediocrity is its own reward,but to call this film mediocre is to praise it to high heaven. This film represents everything that is wrong with today's filmmaking and movies. Save your 11 bucks and the trip to the multiplex. It will be available on DVD before the summers over.Mark my words, you'll see. PS- "Super 8" refers to a type of 8mm film that was used for making home movies in the pre digital film age.