If You've Watched The Trailers...

Rating: 4/10 (11 August 2016)

If you've seen any of the trailers for this movie, then you've already seen the best parts. There are so many things wrong with this film, I don't know where to begin. Horrible dialogue, mediocre effects, baffling cinematography, confusing editing, even the sound effects and music made one cringe. Then there are some moments in the film that make you want to slink down in your seat in shame. When The Enchantress started doing her belly dance I forgot all about her threat to humanity and instead struggled to keep from laughing out loud. The dialogue from all of the characters, except The Joker, was downright shameful. Margo Robbie probably had it worst of all. The "what is everyone looking at" attitude and "yes, I'm crazy, so deal with it" repetitiveness wore thin quickly. And you would think that an actor that can command the bucks like Will Smith can, well, there's simply no excuse. Here come the spoilers: The Joker is NOT part of the Suicide Squad. The villain IS, but instead of participating in their mission, she's the reason for it. One of the previously unmentioned members (Slipknot) shows up out of a clear blue sky and is promptly decapitated for his good deed. Boomerang turns out to be one of those guys that privately likes to talk OTHER people into resisting authority figures, but publicly he either backs down or screws the pooch for those that are really serious. Diablo has become a pacifist, but is the one who finally defeats the villain in the end. We're supposed to believe that Deadshot's weakness is his love for his daughter and yet, when he's given a choice between killing Harley Quinn or his daughter, he chooses his daughter. What? Yes, you heard it right. Literally or figuratively, it makes no difference. No one thought of this, or if they did, it never made it to the screen: Deadshot shoots the rope, thereby freeing Harley to plummet to her own fate , AND convincing authority figures that he at least tried. Or, when The Joker suddenly realizes that Deadshot is about to blow his girlfriend away, he flips a switch and the rope she's dangling from suddenly becomes a Bungee cord that smoothly extends and gently lowers Harley safely to the ground. Of course this causes The Joker to laugh hysterically. The scene in the trailers where The Joker says "I'm not gonna kill ya, I'm just gonna hurt ya really, really bad." is NOT being said to some helpless kidnapped victim (you know what I mean), but to his one and only true love Harley Quinn herself. I suppose it's to make her more dateable? The Joker's car is cool. For about 30 seconds before it plummets into the water. And where are all of the counter-Batman gadgets located in said car? And why does The Joker leave Harley for dead after said plummet, but can't brace himself (in a flashback) to leave her for dead after she plummets into another unwholesome body of water? Are those perpetual tattooed tears real or not? The military commander's bodyguard. If the time ever comes when she has to defend herself or the commander from the unsavory characters they are both forced to share company with, and who are all mostly heavily armed or "gifted" in some extreme way, she will have to do so with...a sword. In one scene we're shown that several if not All of the nano explosives implanted in the necks of the Squad members have been deactivated by The Joker, but at the end their "Boss" threatens to explode said explosives if they don't continue to obey her orders.
All of this nonsense goes on for about 2 hours, from beginning to end, and at no point is the viewer allowed to identify with or "get to know" any of the characters in any meaningful way. It's not that they don't try, the attempt simply fails. What one is left with is a great title, some talented actors strangled by a disastrous script, and a slow but building anger and frustration at the realization that everyone involved in this fiasco simply "blew it". Marvel, pass Go and collect 200 dollars. DC, take two steps back and pay the hotel owners each 2 thousand dollars. Or at least refund the cost of the ticket.