A bus ride from office to home in the evening

Rating: 6/10 (6 August 2016)

The most important lesson I know about movies is this: If James Bond is the hero of your film, you'd better have a world-dominater as the villain – not a Store Accountant fudging the books.
This, in whole, sums up the problem with Suicide Squad. It was as if WB decided that having a powerful and charismatic villain would detract from the Suicide Squad coolness. So they deliberately put in a villain who would be super-powerful, but fall short – way short – of the "charm" of the members of the Squad themselves. Because, God forbid, the villain should outshine the squad. Then how would WB make this into a franchise? So let's begin with the review:
First off, there is one point which many critics so far, got wrong. That the music is so loud that it detracts. That does not happen. Never at any point in the movie.
However, unfortunately everything else they say, is more or less, correct.
So we start off the movie with a bunch of flashbacks, which I think were okay. Though, when it came to Deadshot/Will Smith's flashbacks, I wondered whether I was watching a feature film, or a soap-opera on television. Will Smith in tears. His daughter in tears. The background music in tears. The weather in tears. I was sure Batman was going to be in tears too! Thank God, he just smirks and kicks Will's posterior, instead.
Then we are introduced to Amanda Waller juxtaposed with the flashbacks of the squad members. She's supposed to be some kind of "I'm such a bad female-canine and I have a three mile detonation radius" woman, but instead, if you can visualize a world-weary Principal of a kid's school, you've already seen her in your mind then. You know the type. Strict. Matronly. Clipped English. Talking only as needed. Economical with movements. Prim. Proper. Then, you've seen Amanda Waller.
We also get scenes of the bad boys and girl (Harley, in this case) being tortured in the prison, with sad, melancholy background music being played in the background. We're supposed to 'feel' for this bunch, dammit. But all that goes on in our minds is Deadshot has orphaned so many children, widowed even more men and women. Harley has killed so many, broken so many homes and lives. So it's hard to feel sympathy for the characters. A minus point – Harley tries to out-joker the Joker. Every time. All the time. Even in normal conversations. Yikes! I guess being unhinged means making faces (the kind you make to get your baby brother in the pram to laugh) and saying trite one-liners. Well, WB, whatever floats your boat.
Then one of them, the Witch (don't miss her incredibly toned abs, I must say), escapes and becomes the villain. Then turns men into gloppy zombies that do her bidding. Which is to wipe out humanity. Oh, the humanity! The zombies well, imagine a high school kid with face covered full of zits. Lots and lots of them. And large ones, mind it. Purple too. Well, those are the zombies.
After that, the movie basically is about "bondage". Not that kind, but the "we're gonna bond so good the audience will cheer us with tears in their eyes" stuff. Some action scenes the follow. Military men Team A shooting zombies. Military men Team B shooting zombies. Will Smith climbing on cars and shooting zombies. Boomerang boomeranging zombies. Harley baseball batting zombies. Croc biting zombies (ugh!), Katana samurai-zing zombies, and thenmore of thatwhenwait, more of that againafter which, we finally come toum mm..more of that, even now!...
Then, abruptly, the final confrontation. I don't want to spoil it for you. But it was like you were traveling home in a bus and the conductor announcing your stop had arrived. You felthmm, time to get off. You checked your surroundings for missing items or something you may have left behind, smiled at the people who usually travel at the same time as you do, then step of the bus, happy to be home. That's what it feels like. A bus ride. And before you know it, it's over. Just like that. Over. No, really!
Finally, let me comment quickly on a few things:
JOKER: Jared's trying too hard. His image and makeup were spot on, though. If he were "reserved" with it, like Heath Ledger was, then Jared would have raised the movie through the roof. He would have been the "new Joker". Instead, he blows it – he gesticulates, goes through maniacal facial expressions (which Heath never did, hence the CHILLING Joker, one which caused fear). Let us just say, that Jared's threat levels are because of what he can do. Heath's threat levels were because of who he was. A difference, lost on WB and Leto, both.
BATMAN: Ben Affleck. Kicks Will's ass. Kicks Joker and HQ's ass. Kicks Joker's car's ass with the bat-mobile. Saves HQ. Punches HQ in the face, unapologetic. Will cries, daughter cries, Batman smirks. Then kick's Will's ass even more. Rocks!!
KATANA: Why was she in this?
BOOMERANG: Supposed to be the comic relief. WB have serious introspection to do. Fire your Casting Supervisor and Casting Director asap
CROC: Quite nice, actually. Except, he shouldn't be wearing a double hoodie! Looks ridiculous in that. Bare chested, torn vest, muscular, killer ragenow THAT'S the Croc we all know and love.
FIREMAN/DIABLO: Tattooed. Any other gangster. No personality. Shoots fire from finger tips. Yawn! SLIPKNOT: Blink. And you miss him.
DEATHSTROKE!! : Just kidding. He's not there.
EVERYONE ELSE: Everything generic about the military. It's there.
So, final word about the movie? A couple of times I asked myself: Is it over yet? Not a good start, WB. Definitely not a good start.