The uncut review.

Rating: 9/10 (26 June 2018)

This movie deserves its bad reviews and ratings for a few reasons. The main one being the uncut version is almost essential to make the movie plainly clear. I mean you could figure it out from the standard cut but the uncut is crystal.
It still would not make everyone happy because people hate it when a movie give them the finger (unless it is Deadpool and does it for comedy).
This movie is action porn in its most pure sense. The action is beautiful, well choreographed. The set pieces cover it all. You have your Japanese Samurai monsters with a big mini-gun, you have faceless steampunk Nazi's with a big mech robot boom boom boom. You then have knights and orcs and a dragon with a steampunk plane, finally futuristic train with evil i-robots and the old move along the train combat. A noble death, a bittersweet getaway. The bad guy loses, the good girl (baby) dies (kind of, see another nod to every Japanese Samurai movie ever when the main guy has to die). Mix in some music, tiny girls in skimpy gear and you have a soup of "everything a teen boy wants to watch".
And that is the point. This is what annoys people. This movie really has no point, but unlike others movies, this one shows you that. The rest still pretend they have substance. Total Recall (the real one) ends essentially with a 'then he woke up' flash in the sky (well a then he gets lobotomised) that we all buy. This is the same thing but we get offended.
I love it, and this is why I give it 9 stars. Not because I am smart. This all came from reading other reviews and then finally watching the uncut version. I hated the 5th Element the first time I saw it, but now its in my top then. This one also grows on you the more you watch it.