A MISH-MOSH, By Gosh!

Rating: 6/10 (25 March 2011)

When I saw the trailers for this film, it seemed very "STRANGE" & likely to be very "confusing" & "silly"... After seeing the whole movie, I must say I was RIGHT in my instincts...
... I will try to give you the "plot"-- but, be warned, it will not make much "sense"-- which ALSO is pretty "accurate": ... Baby Doll (EMILY BROWNING) lives in a creepy house-- with an even creepier Stepfather (GERARD PLUNKETT). He's a predator, attacks her & her sister after their mother dies, &, when she "resists" him, he puts her in a MENTAL asylum for women...
... That place is run by an evil self-centered young shark named Blue Jones (OSCAR ISAAC), who wants to sink his "teeth" (& other areas) into Emily (& possibly other inmates there)...
... He brings Emily to the "Theater" area (named because it IS a stage-filled theater), which is run by an Eastern European woman named Dr. Vera Gorski (CARLA GUGINO). She believes she can "rehabilitate" the women (tho, to "what" is debatable) by the use of "DANCE" moves-- tho almost no one truly "dances" there...
... One of the primary members of the non-dancing "company" is Sweet Pea (ABBIE CORNISH), who dotes on her younger sister named Rocket (JENA MALONE) there... They both try to help Emily avoid a LOBOTOMY planned for her by Oscar, & they do that in part by encouraging her to join their "DANCING" group...
... Lots of people (including Oscar) are "mesmerized" by Emily's "dancing"-- which involves merely TALKING about dancing & just "standing" there as she enters what the film company conveniently calls an "ALTERNATE REALITY", supposedly as a means of "coping" with the tribulations of the place...
... In that (ahem) "reality", she starts "transporting" to various WARTIME scenes, always "led" by a "Wise Man" (SCOTT GLENN)...
... First, as shown by the double-and-triple winged fighter aeroplanes, she's in WORLD WAR I with Abbie, Jena, & other of the inmate girls such as Blondie (VANESSA HUDGENS) and Amber (JAMIE CHUNG)...
... In appropriately "washed-out" colors and black & white, the women are transformed into great FIGHTERS, trying to destroy the wicked steam-powered "zombies" of the German KAISER... They attack his troops, aeroplanes and dirigibles, sometimes "flying" thru the air as they "MOW-DOWN" their adversaries...
... Does this sound like a "COMIC BOOK" type story? Well, it's SUPPOSED to!-- it's a "graphic novel" type of movie, directed (& partly written) by ZACK SNYDER, the maker of "DAWN OF THE DEAD" (from 2004), "300" (from 2006), "WATCHMEN" (2009), and "LEGEND OF THE GUARDIANS: THE OWLS OF GA'HOOLE" (2010)!...
... In "between" the various "wars", the girls meet various other dastardly types, such as The Cook of the asylum (MALCOLM SCOTT), the Mayor (ALAN C. PETERSON), etc. There are planes representing WORLD WAR II, then some other war (possibly Vietnam, as characterized by the helicopters) & various "fantastical" CREATURES the girl inmates have to challenge and conquer...
... In the midst of all these clearly CONFOUNDING confrontations (including facing fire-breathing DRAGONS), Emily & the other girls have to go on a "QUEST" to try to find & recover 5 special "objects" which (per Scott) will supposedly help them ESCAPE the asylum...
... At one point, we meet a kindly "Doctor" (JON HAMM), who doesn't like the idea of lobotomizing Emily. WHY is he there in the story?-- Well, either because he's a "BIG NAME" TV star, or they wanted to have one "positive" male figure (or for "BOTH" and possibly other insignificant reasons!)...
... Is one of the girls a "double-agent" secretly working on behalf of the ASYLUM masters, & if so, who IS it?... Will any of the girls be killed in the plans to try to escape?... Will any of the "SINFUL" characters get their "just desserts" (or at least "entrees")?!...
... At the end of my advance screening, one person in the audience loudly yelled a hearty "BOO!" at what he'd just seen (which caused a bunch of laughs & some cries of "agreement") with his opinion...
... Is the film ridiculous?-- ABSOLUTELY-- but, it's clearly MEANT to be!... It's "cartoonish", makes little sense, & (as I said at the beginning), it's a "MISH-MOSH" of ideas that are seemingly meant to LOOK "impressive" (& that's about "all" it achieves)....
... The film is undeniably "CREATIVE", with some quite striking SPECIAL EFFECTS (cgi & otherwise), done by a number of different special effects groups... I'm trying to "resist" saying you're a "SUCKER" if you let the the theater "PUNCH" your ticket to see this...
... But, because I LIKE attempts at being imaginative, I am going to "generously" rate the film at 6.0 out of 10 stars. I can't give it more because, while the acting is OK & it's "creative" in parts, it's got some dreadful dialogue & writing, & it is NOT what I'd call "inspired" in what to me is any particularly "worthwhile" way...
[... One thing as a serious aside: most people left the theater when the CREDITS were just starting to play. Sit THRU the credits-- because only there will you see real DANCING, & the 5 minutes or so of musical numbers are done in a finely STYLISH way that's really the BEST part of the film, in my opinion!...]