It's better to watch plants as they grow

Rating: 1/10 (19 September 2011)

Once I saw a movie that has a lot of action, comedy moments, intrigue, suspense, and finally made me cry. Cinematography was great, the acting was superb, it was ingenious, clever and finally I thought, if there's a movie that deserves a 10, this one is.
Well, exactly the opposite happened to me while watching this movie. I felt, a) bored, since the story goes nowhere, if there is any story at all. b) claustrophobia, since there are not a single take filmed on any actual location, everything is computer-generated. Cyberpunk genre going wrong. c) depressed, what the heck do people who liked this movie have on their heads? and started to think that the human race is inevitably going to be destroyed in a very stupid way... with overproduced and ridiculously unreal FX. d) In Spanish, we have a concept called "vergüenza ajena", it's when you feel embarrassed for what someone else did, or does. Well, this was my feeling, I felt so sorry for the guy who did this movie, I think he surely put an effort to do this, and to get what? a candidate to "worst movie ever"? poor guy, he might be so depressed. Or possibly, Zack Snyder is a villain who wants to take revenge on humanity by doing unwatchable movies, and his point was to actually do a horrible movie.
There's no point at all on trying to find any sense on the girl blowing up Nazis while riding a mecha, or fighting with characters taken from Mortal Kombat, although those were the better parts of the movie. The mustache whorehouse owner character is lame, mono-dimensional and retarded. The scene where the girl dies, and tells the other girl "tell mom that I love her" was, for me, the bottom. A always repeating clichè, trying to ineffectively put some drama in a story where there's no place for drama at all.
And just to end it, the cherry upon the pie, everything was a dream, or something, but nothing of what you spent two irrecoverable hours of your life was real. Just horrible.
I'm starting to think that this Mr. Snyder is going to be the next Shyamalan, worst director ever. I mean, he directed 300, what would you expect?! Spend some time with your family, read a book, learn to cook something, or watch the plants growing, but for god's sake, do NOT watch this movie under any circumstances; except if you are a masochist, and want to have one of the worst cinematic experiences of your life.