Awful...Just Awful

Rating: 1/10 (20 August 2013)

My sister and I were talking about the Man of Steel trailer and I said that Zack Snyder probably wasn't the best choice to direct Man of Steel. I gave Sucker Punch being a disappointment for critics and audiences. My sister said it was great. Then again, she likes Green Lantern, Indiana Jones 4 and the Star Wars prequels. So, she lent it to me to watch and I was shocked. Here's why:
1. The Plot: It's another bland prison escape movie, just with hot chicks who fight dragons, samurai and zombies for no real reason except that Zack Snyder thought it would be awesome. The problem is, is that the fights with the dragon, samurai, zombies and other things make no sense whatsoever. For example, if they needed an item with a dragon on it, they could've fought the dragon. In a movie that's suppose to be symbolic, that kind of seems like a good idea that the director forgot about. Don't say that I don't get it, because I understood everything about this movie.
2. The Heroes: The heroes are incredibly boring. They show no emotion whatsoever. They don't even seem like they want to be there. By that I mean, the actors don't want to be on set. They don't even bother to ask each other about each other. They could ask each other what their real names are and try to identify themselves outside of this prison, but since when does Zach Snyder care about character development? Also, why not have some of these girls die off in these earlier action sequences? I mean it's a fantasy after all, so they wouldn't actually die, but that would help them make them stronger in the next sequence. But since no one dies, it's just incredibly boring. Also, since all Babydoll has to do to get in these fantasy worlds is dance, why not show the dance? Well, because Zach Snyder says that he didn't want to show her dancing because it was a female empowerment story. So, it was sexist to show her dancing, but it wasn't sexist to show all of the girl's panties while they were fighting? I'll get back to that point later.
3. Everyone Else: The main villain is this clichéd villain, who just hates these characters for no real reason other than being a sexist a-hole. Also, he is overacting in every scene he's in. The heroes are under acting and the villains are over acting, and it just comes off as just plain awful. Carla Gugino provides nothing in this movie whatsoever. Also, Babydoll's step dad is an idiot. So he doesn't get money from his wife so in order to get it, he starts raping Babydoll's sister? Why doesn't he just kill them, make it look like an accident and just collect the money? Oh yeah, because all men are idiots and jerks apparently. I'll get back to this point later as well.
4. The Visuals, Cinematography and Music The visuals, which probably drove most people to see it, are not that impressive. I've seen better special effects in TV shows. The cinematography is probably the only good thing in this movie, but it's not that good, it's only okay. The music, I hate the music. All of the music is just cover songs that don't really sound that good. I prefer the original songs. What's wrong with the original songs? Maybe it's copyright reasons, who knows? More importantly, who cares? Apparently I do since I'm writing this review.
5. Sexism at its finest This movie manages to be offensive to men and women. It's offensive to men, because it treats every male character like a jerk and an idiot. Not all men are jerks and idiots. Worst of all, they treat women so poorly. They don't give these girls that much of an identity, they're boring, I couldn't care about them. The worst part of that is, is that these girls are tired are being treated as sex objects and are trying to break out of this prison, but they constantly fight all of these random things in slow motion (which there's too much of), half-naked. How is that empowering to women? I don't approve of sexism of any kind, but this movie just doesn't get it.
Overall, this was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It's boring, pretentious, clichéd, predictable and hypocritical movies I've ever seen. The actors are either under acting or over acting. The visuals are not that impressive. They manage to offend men, because it treats them like jerks and a-holes. They manage to offend women, because they sexualize them when they don't want to be sexualized by these clients and are not really all that empowering. It's like watching someone play a video game, they're doing all the action and you're just sitting bored out of your mind.
The worst part of this whole experience is not the acting, the accidental sexism, but that my sister yelled at me because I didn't like it. I showed her a list of the most disappointing movies a long time ago and this was placed at number 7. She explained this by saying that people don't understand good filmmaking. This? Good filmmaking? If people don't understand it's good filmmaking, then explain why critics and audiences love movies like The Godfather, Inception, Pulp Fiction, The Shawshank Redemption and The Lord of the Rings to name a few, and why people hate movies like recent spoof movies, Transformers, Twilight, The Last Airbender and others? Calling this good filmmaking is like calling Jersey Shore quality television. I understand it's her opinion and she's a feminist and all. But, she should be offended by the characters and how they're not all that empowering, but I can see where she's coming from. Where I'm coming from, this movie is awful. It manages offend men, women and possibly everyone's intelligence.