Offensively bad

Rating: 1/10 (6 July 2011)

Sigh. 11 minutes in and only the photography was keeping me from turning this music video off. Three complete songs left two minutes without music (give or take), and that was total exposition dialogue!
Okay, I'll admit, I fell for the promise of five hot twenty-something girls in school uniforms with guns and samurai swords, but when they're all dim-witted, with empty spaces behind their eyes (well, aside from "Sweet Pea", whom could call me any time), they soon lost their appeal.
The concept was simple and should have worked, but it failed miserably due to a massive reliance on CGI, zero plot (just a concept), and somebody thinking that mindless action would carry one scene to the next.
I honestly don't know how I lasted to the 40 minute mark, but when a Japanese-looking girl climbed into a giant robot whilst Sweet Pea (drooooool), Baby Doll et al blew away zombie Nazis (it could've been a decent film in itself... oh no, wait, it was that crap-fest Dead Snow already!), I couldn't stomach any more. I've also no idea why an American was leading a group of British in a trench war, but I'll over-look bad casting since the film was deliberately nonsensical anyhow, in an asinine attempt to bring art house into the mainstream (and the Sugarcubes' Hit was better than any of Bjork's solo stuff anyway!).
I guess it could be said now that I've wasted even more time by writing this comment, but in truth, the rant has been cathartic - I can now remove this steaming pile of dog doo from my mind and enjoy the remainder of my evening.
On a final note: 300 was turd but gave us Sparticus: Blood and Sand as a result. I respect Snyder's work from a directive point of view, but as a writer, he needs to get his fracking head together! I think any would-be writers watching this should've learnt pretty quickly how NOT to write a screenplay.
I'd seriously recommend anyone who happens to read this to avoid this film at all costs; cinema is rife was brilliance of all genres, so there's really no excuse to be suckered into watching this... well, not unless the hot girls with guns and swords convince you otherwise.