Don't Join Up!

Rating: 10/10 (12 May 2005)

worth 10 stars for several reasons. bill Murray at his best (uncle Hulka?) Harold Ramis who gets without a doubt the BEST line in the entire movie (I once got the sh*t kicked out of me in Wisconsin!) - and also acts his posterior off, this is most likely his best performance in anything he's ever been in, the man just shines. John Candy - the legend, the big man making a little part very huge, again he is excellent (especially in poker sequence). He steals every scene he's in, gotta love the guy. Elmer Berstein creates an excellent and hugely memorable score, my favorite has to be the tune behind johns girlfriend leaving. Looking across all the tunes elmer created, his legacy is them, most definitely. The chap playing Sgt Hulka is also excellent. Makes a lot of his character. Drill Instructors are definitely like this guy. I should know! I can watch this until the cows come home, well worth a look if you like SNL, Candy, Ramis, Murray.
OK, I've now seen the extended cut. And wow is that a different (and better!) movie. The whole extra scene in John's girlfriends apartment about the Winnibago which adds more to John's motivation to actually join The Army. Every time I watch this I totally fail to notice Sean Young (Rachel in Bladerunner) as one of the female MP's but she looks amazing!
There's also an extra scene of dialogue in the barracks between John & Russell which leads to a huge cut segment of John & Russell aboard a plane with Special Ops guys, jumping out, getting captured by bandits and almost getting killed (I assume this was cut for pacing) but saving themselves by getting the bandits high on acid and singing "Quando".
Having seen where the scene was cut from, I totally understand why it went (it spoiled the flow of the film, it didn't make any sense, it took up too much time). It does upset the following scene where Hulka asks about men leaving the base but at least explains why that happened.
Stillwell briefing the men about Hulka's accident is a new scene which explains their reason to go to the mud wrestling bar better. There are also a few extra small insert shots inside the bar as well.
The rifle drill sequence for graduation is longer with more moves than the normal cut. I'm still quite annoyed that they take Hulka to Italy with them. That just wouldn't happen, He was drill training staff. The likelihood of them posting him with that squad would be very low indeed. The fact that the female MP's (Stella & Louise) were posted to Germany at the same time John's Platoon had been sent to Italy is too contrived a plot device as well.
The scene loading the EM-50 (An armoured Winnebago!) with shells is another new scene which explains why John & Russell are guarding it alone before they borrow it. Combine that extra scene with the Winnebago scene near the start and this scene now makes even more sense to the plot!
There are extra scenes of John in the bedroom with Stella and Russell in the bathtub with Louise, cutting quite a bit of nudity from both women! The shots of the tanks blocking the road into Czechoslovakia has been added. The conversation about Russells sister is new too.
I did notice once in the Czechoslovakian base the soldiers stopped speaking Russian and some of them were speaking German? Good goof! The bits that were added on the whole do improve the movie and make the scenes that follow them make a lot more sense. I prefer this version I think. I am annoyed about the press cutting they use for Louise in front of the EM-50, it's supposed to be Top Secret but it's appearing on the front cover of a magazine?
Russell's headline is wrong as well "Zitzsky rates The Russians", actually they were Czechoslovakians! In general the whole "welcome home" ending is wrong, this was supposed to be a deniable mission, no-one back home would have even know it had happened. Also Hulka shouldn't be saluting John (and vice-versa) as neither of them are Officers. Watching the end credits I saw Bill Paxton played a soldier.
My final words? Gentlemen, It's Party time - Italian style!