Bring A Brown Paper Bag

Rating: 3/10 (11 August 2006)

hello folks. i saw this movie. yeah, i can't believe it either. i REALLY didn't want to see it but i had to fulfill a promise (i said i'd go with my friend, who had a part as an extra in it), so there I was at the theater on a Friday morning, waiting for "Step Up" to begin. i gotta say i should have bought eight tickets, and reserved all seats in a 360 degree radius of myself, that way no one would have been affected by the splash damage of my vomit. this movie was audacious. granted, my opinion of the movie was low from the start, but i can assure you if you DID NOT like what you saw in the advertisements, you need to ESPECIALLY stay far away. the story is bad enough (this has all been done before, especially in "save the last dance"), and it's made even worse by the terrible actors. What's with all the hype for Channing Tatum? He wasn't very good in "coach carter", and he's downright terrible in this (i'm looking for a deleted scene where he cuts his arm and you can see his robotic circuitry underneath). Jenna Dewam is not a good leading lady, she makes no strides to prove she has any acting chops at all. I've seen scarface do better lines than her. A large portion of my problems rest with the cast, they must've picked these guys up from the trash bin outside the set of Dawson's Creek or something, because everything they say oozes of coy, bipolar emotive, over-the-top yet completely nonsensical dialogue. seriously this movie is like a soundboard, where random phrases are strewn together to make a somewhat coherent, but awkward dialogue. the actors don't deliver but a lot of the blame also goes to the writers, who wrote this crap? if someone tells me "you don't know what you're getting yourself into..." i think of more serious things associated with that phrase, like joining the yakuza or Scientology, but not a warning to the tribulations of learning how to friggin' dance! and speaking of dancing, for those people who are solely seeing this movie for that very aspect, you can find more exciting stuff elsewhere. the footwork is very mundane, and not as thrilling as the ads play it out to be. i'd stick with MTV. All in all, this movie was just plain bad. Not "uwe boll so bad it's good" kinda bad, but "tricking the teens/pre-teens/dates into paying for a big steaming turd" bad. I don't know if Hollywood is doing some kind of science experiment to see if they can get people to see their terrible movies by baiting it with popular music, cool slang, and "fresh young talent", but I implore you guys to not see this waste of celluloid. Things like this and John Tucker Must Die aren't even of the same pedigree of the "stupid but semi-fun" teen movies that were trouncing around 5 or 6 years ago... this movie needs to STEP DOWN.
and to top it off, my friend's scene didn't even make the cut.