Kids deserve better than this

Rating: 2/10 (1 November 2007)

People will tell you that that this kind of movie is made for a preteen audience and, hence, should not be judged by the same standards as grown-up entertainment. I get that, but I still think kids deserve better than this. It's a shallow story told as a string of cheap tricks. The script has been soaked in random CGI, like an espresso shot drowned in milk froth. As a result, "Stardust" is banal and boring rather than magical and mysterious: the Chronicles of Yawnia. I appreciate the fact that the filmmakers have cast Claire Danes as the fallen star to give daddy something to look at, but I will never forgive them for making her talk in that gruesome boarding school accent. Although I must admit she's pretty good at it for a SoHo girl. So why avoid an obvious pun? Claire Danes' star quality is unrivaled even by an A- list of guest appearances: Ian McKellen as the off-screen narrator, Peter O'Toole as the old king, Robert DeNiro as a gay pirate, and Michelle Pfeiffer as a vain witch reminiscent of Edie on "Desperate Housewives".