Don't You Believe It.

Rating: 6/10 (24 January 2013)

You'll find this hard to believe, but right next to England there is a walled-off kingdom called Erewhon or Shangri-La or something which, having sealed itself off from the world, remains in the Middle Ages. A young Englishman (Cox) is sent into this benighted place to retrieve a star that has fallen inside the walls. The star turns into Claire Danes, whose astral qualities reside in her emerald necklace. The three sinister sisters (Michelle Pfeiffer in various stages of old-age make up) who have magical powers. There are numerous subplots involving the heir to the throne, a desperate mother, a unicorn, and other characters. The story is accompanied by an epic orchestral score.
Something like that, anyway. The story is a lot of episodic whimsy with CGIs used judiciously for effect, for a change. There is comedy and there is an abundance of action.
Award for the best performance, not counting the lovestruck boy and the beautiful Danes, is Robert DeNiro as the mean pirate captain who is secretly gay. He claps his hands with glee. He outfits Cox with new clothes and squeals, "Oh, that's tres YOU!" He does Cox's hair. He's captured when his enemies find him in a corset, doing a fan dance in front of the mirror.
Michelle Pfeiffer hasn't been seen much lately, which is too bad because she looks fine. Claire Danes is attractive too, with large fleshy features. When she grins, even her teeth look enticingly big. Her bite would tingle nicely. She's a good actress too. To these alien ears, her British accent is reasonably convincing. Cox is boyishly appropriate to the role and if he doesn't shoot out the lights, well, he gets the job done.
It's not worth going on about. It's no masterpiece but it is diverting. I don't follow the Harry Potter stories or anything like them, never having got past "The Wizard of Oz." This movie just happened to come up on the channel I'd been watching and I was too lazy to turn it off while I did some reading. But I followed it all the way through.