Mindbogglingly Awful

Rating: 1/10 (27 March 2018)

This film has sunk the Star Wars franchise, at least in terms of its being a vehicle for interesting storytelling and compelling characters. It is hard to understand how anyone in Disney allowed this garbage to be made. I clicked spoilers, but almost didn't want to, because I have zero respect for this film and would be happy to discourage people from paying money to see it.
It ends the new trilogy by cutting short virtually all of the story lines set up in the first film.
Snoke is dead and Kylo is now the boss of the First Order. We don't know why Snoke was ever Kylo's boss. We don't know how they met, or what Snoke taught Kylo, if anything, or what Snoke was hoping to achieve. He's just dead. Stop asking about him.
Kylo turned evil because he caught his stupid uncle Luke standing over his bed in the middle of the night with an activated light saber and murder in his eyes. He ran off, and then we don't really know what happened. I mean, it seems like he must have met Snoke and Snoke taught him more about the Force and how he needs to kill his dad, but who knows. The movie doesn't say.
Hux is a high-falutin' clutz out of Monty Python who is repeatedly humiliated by Kylo and ceases to have any value as a character separate from anyone else in the First Order uniform.
The Resistance is all but destroyed and the First Order is even more powerful than the Empire was at its height. Thus Emperor Palpatine's defeat at the end of Return of the Jedi is meaningless. Had Palpatine lived, perhaps the Galaxy would at least still be stable. The Rebellion of the original trilogy is now an obvious failure and net loss for galactic well-being. The Galaxy would be better off had Padme died before giving birth and lost the babies.
Luke Skywalker is dead and never trained Rey or gave her any insight into her past. He thinks the Jedi are bad and need to be destroyed so that.. anyone can use the Force I guess? So when he burns the Jedi Temple, did that give the little kid in the end of the film Force Power? Or was the kid born with it? If so, why destroy the Jedi? Were the Jedi hunting down and recruiting or murdering anyone with Force ability? Why are the Jedi bad? I mean, this is a huge change from the first 7 films' perspective on the Jedi, I feel like it could have been explained rather than just thrown out there as a "bold new idea."
Poe is a bumbling dolt who is driven to challenge the strong woman placed in charge of him, apparently for no other reason than he is a sexist pig who won't accept female leadership, and Princess Leia duly puts him in his place for his chauvenism, reducing him to a simpering lackey with no value as a character or soldier.
Finn awakens from his coma and goes on a dangerous adventure in a one-in-a-million-shot to save the gang from defeat. Classic Star Wars! But this time, our hero (who is accompanied by a new character for some reason, because they needed to keep Finn behind to humiliate him and destroy his character) fails and he and his friend are nearly killed. No worries though, the Resistance is saved anyway, by the woman against whom Poe held such backward chauvinistic prejudices (take that, stereotypical masculinity!). She had a brilliant plan of her own all along, but didn't tell anyone, which was kind of bitchy. Is that sexist of me?
Really, Finn is used as a vehicle to introduce the "real world" of the Galaxy to us. The rich and powerful profit from both sides of the war, and everyone else is slaves and canon fodder. The Resistance is just part of a military-industrial complex. Why should we be rooting for it then? Well, Finn's new friend claims that the Reistance fights for what it loves while the First Order fights against what it hates.. but, I mean, okay I guess, but I don't see either side offering much hope to slaves and poor people. The only effect of Finn look at How The Other Half Lives is to cast doubt on the worthiness of the Resistance's cause.
Leia almost dies but is miraculously saved by The Force, and then she lets a random new character (the woman that Poe hates for being a girl) kill herself to save Leia and like the 9 other members of the Resistance who are still alive.
So here we are. The First Order is nearly victorious and is now led completely by Kylo, whose motivation is.. to be able to do whatever he wants and not having to be afraid of any more crazy uncles that might want to kill him? The Resistance is nearly dead, though who cares because they aren't really trying to solve the real problems anyway. Rey is a nobody who now seems to have nothing to do, except I guess fight Kylo because he dresses in black and is the bad guy. Finn I guess can still try to get with Rey if he wants. If Poe doesn't appear in the third film, I wouldn't notice.
In fact, if the third film itself never appears, I wouldn't notice. This movie was a despicable mess. I'd rather watch Attack of the Clones on repeat for 48 hours in the eye-opening machine that they used in Clockwork Orange than sit through it again.