Here's why I think this is a terrible film

Rating: 1/10 (28 December 2019)

"These are not the droids you're looking for."
Why does that sentence conjure such vivid memories, to so many fans? It's hard to say: I like to think it's because of the perfect composition of fantasy and a grandiose story, while at the same time leaving so much room for nuance, subtlety and the imagination. A New Hope is a work of art that has countless of such scenes, moments, characters. Everything.
I recall the names of minor characters. I know their lines verbatim. So do many other fans. Jek Porkins? You probably know exactly who that is, don't you? I don't remember the names of any of the characters in this film, except for the main cast.
The reason I can't for the life of me recall one snappy line is because there aren't any. It's all overblown, the volume over 9000 at all times. The action scenes are like that as well: loud, obnoxious, dull. That's not the problem: the story has the same issue, as do the characters. That's where this film falls apart. Ten minutes in I got a sinking feeling and it didn't stop getting worse.
The Force Awakens set up a lot of intrigue. I was hooked. This film does nothing with any of that. It's pedantic, meandering, dull and insipid in its attempt to break with the past. IF the past needed breaking, by all means, don't mention any of it. Don't bring back anything from before and make your own story. This film adds nothing, however, nothing, and dances around like a delusional hippy on the self inflicted trash fire of the legacy of Star Wars.
I'm guessing it's what happens if you try to be a rebellious filmmaker, while at the same time making a Star Wars franchise flick for Disney. It's wink-wink nudge-nudge where it shouldn't be. It's serious and funny and action packed and tragic and everything at the same time, all the time: what we're left with is a tone deaf and miserable cash in. The emperor is clearly dancing naked for all to see, but no one had the stones to say anything, or the power to stop this from happening.
So bad, it still makes me angry, even after all this time, just to think about it. This film killed Star Wars for me. The franchise meant a lot to me: as a kid, it was one of the few reliable things I had. This film fouled those memories.
The ramming scene? Oh my god. The 'humorous' Poe scenes, with in the back his exploding friends? Oh my god. The whole Finn/Rose side plot? Oh my god. The romantic plot between the jedi and sith? Makes me slightly ill. Why drop the tension between Finn and Ray? That was pretty solid? Why?
I feel for the actors of the old and new films. I'm sure most of them can see and feel the drop in quality more than any of us.
Why? Why do this? That's what has me stumped. A show like the Mandalorian demonstrates how effective a simple story can be and how to go about doing that. That's all we needed. That's what Force Awakens did quite well, if you ask me.
Could it have been worse? Well, I suppose it could have been a musical. That would have sucked harder. Probably.