Absolute garbage, a literal stain on an American Cultural touchstone

Rating: 1/10 (22 October 2019)

As someone who grew up with Star Wars and has an open mind about things and realizes that nothing lasts forever, this movie is an absolute pile of trash. I actually really liked The Force Awakens so this isn't an old man hates new things rant. Let me head off all the lazy defenders of this catastrophe: I don't have an issue with a female protagonist. I don't have an issue with a visually diverse cast. I have an issue with stupid plotting, stupid writing and a complete and utter failure to understand what makes Star Wars successful. It's not special effects, it's not light sabers, it's not cornball jokes, it's not space ships. What makes Star Wars special is it's simplicity of telling an epic story of good overcoming massive obstacles to defeat evil. The Last Jedi is a total violation of everything that makes Star Wars special. You have basically a checklist of marketing and identity politics concepts thrown into a space movie with no regard for plotting, structure, writing or directing. Characters make stupid and nonsensical decisions. Established characters do things that completely fly in the face of their previous portrayals. Example: Luke abandoning his friends. That's literally not Luke Skywalker. Even Mark Hamill knows this. Things happen that completely ignore the rules of the universe that have been established through 7 other films. Examples: You can't use hyperspace to run into things. Force ghosts aren't capable of altering the physical world. Spacecraft don't run out of fuel. You don't "drop" bombs in space. The Force does not protect you from the vacuum of space. The Millennium Falcon does not teleport. And the worst thing of all is that at the end of the movie there is nothing, I mean nothing there to bring you any kind of sense of joy or enrichment. There is nothing to excite you about another movie because The Last Jedi broke Star Wars. I saw it twice to make sure I was seeing the same things over again and not imagining it. It has taken something from me that had an big influence on my life and defiled it. It's an absolute disgrace and it absolutely broke my heart.