If this movie didn't fulfill all your theories, you have only yourself to blame.

Rating: Null/10 (18 December 2017)

"This is not going to go the way you think." is an understatement. I rarely ever write reviews, because my opinion doesn't matter. However, I feel the need to address the vitriol against this movie.
For the last two years I've listened to countless theories; Snoke is definitely this person, Rey's parents have got to be such and such. It's been relentless. Some of the theories were decent and plausible. The majority of them were idiotic. I admit that even I got caught up in a couple of them, but I wasn't committed to any particular theory. When finally watching the film, I feel my experience was partly ruined because when certain things happened I kept thinking "Oh no, that's really going to piss people off.". Then I snapped out of it and realized that I didn't care what people think. I loved every second of this film and now that I've had time to process it, I'm glad they went in the direction they did for the majority of the big "mysteries". If you've been discussing, deconstructing and committing to certain ideas of how the movie is going to play out, you've just set yourself up for major disappointments.
This movie definitely didn't play out how I expected in almost every scene, which I was pleased to see that a Star Wars movie could still surprise me.
So maybe take some time, think about this and give it another watch. See if your opinion changes.