Star Wars Schadenfreude!

Rating: 8/10 (23 December 2017)

Well, well, a Star Wars for grown-ups.
Speaking as one of the generation who has seen every Star Wars movie in a theatre, I must say this last week of fanboy outrage has been a devilish indulgence.
Finally, a rebel Star Wars film - not kow-towing to the gigabites of bandwidth wasted on predictions, plot speculations and character assassinations by the entitled generation of demanding, new First Order smartasses.
And how it slaps down and pokes a finger in the eye of every know-all on the web forums and tube sites who now seek a safe-space to nurse their wounded egos and ferment about big bad Disney corporations 'betraying' the 'fanbase'. Spoiled brats ahoy!
Director RJ pitched the tension beautifully, pulled the rug from under every angry-millennial theory and led us into a scintillating final hour of simmering drama and epic vistas.
What I liked :
The space battles - no need for endless seat-of-pants dogfights any more and we got variety - flyboy gung-ho bombing raids, suicidal lightspeed assaults: WHAT a scene that is - the silence, the white lightning mega-explosion and the intercut blitz of angles it throws at you; a stunning 10 seconds of cinema if ever there was. See it in 3D; immense.
Kylo Ren/Skywalker - Adam Driver shares the show with Mark Hamil; conflicted Ren and rueful Skywalker are two great performances. Their showdown is raw and intimate and epic; master and apprentice, emotion bridging generations.
The meme of the 'side-quest' - surprised and pleased to see the addition of a little grim reality as Finn and Rose - and us - are introduced to the reality behind every war - even galactic ones - when we see the mercenary nature of those who feed off death; the arms dealers and suppliers. A very mature theme to introduce, albeit amid a herd of giant racing puppy-dogs or something.
That lightsaber battle in the throne room against the red praetorian guard - superb. Brutal, lethal, spectacular and 'believable' use of the force - had me on the edge of my seat and whistling appreciation; everything the ridicuous balletic displays of the prequels failed at.
Final hour - as mentioned, total Star wars porn - a rollercoaster of great scenes - the Crait battle/Throne room/Finn v Phasma/Ren v Rey/Leia's sentimental moments/Skywalkers' end; just terrific. Even the cryptic force-kid at the end and the eyebrow raising 'ohhhhhhh...'s he induced from the cinema.
Humour - first gag too early; would've fitted nicer about 10/20 minutes in once we'd established the feel of the film. Rest of it - fine, well pitched - Porgs not at all irritating and provide a true LOL moment when Chewy tips the Falcon and one slams into the window.
The unpredictability; guessed nothing right going in, grinned at every red herring revealed.
What I disliked:

first hour or so a little iffy; unable to establish what exactly was being aimed for - we had a prequel-ish interlude around the casino with those aforementioned racing giant puppies. Felt scattered a bit. Settled into overstretched scenes with one character when you were itching to see a little more development with others. May be due more to the final edit than content.
Mary Poppins Leia was poorly thought out; the wrong physical execution of that idea; too open to parody. As ironically, I've just reverted to.
Not enough of Del Toro's character - like an amoral Han Solo; he may play a greater part to come. I hope so; there's a dimension to his character that adds to the new 'maturity' of the Star Wars universe.
The whines of fanboys around me. Really, if you want to bleat like a little shaved ewok when things don't work our just the way you want, keep it out of my range, snowflakes.
When I hear the countless proclamations of some Last Jedi event being 'unfeasible' I would like to remind people that 34 years ago the watching world was perfectly happy to accept a gang of feral teddy bears taking on and overcoming a battalion of crack Empire stormtroopers led by the most evil villain in the galaxy.
There's a line you may be familiar with at the opening frame of the films, -something about a galaxy far, far away: that hints at fiction; Science-Fantasy fiction. Roll with it.

OVERALL:
8.3 out of 10
Surprising, spectacular and unpredictable. The way Star Wars SHOULD be. Kudos to the crew for knowingly defying the demands of the undeserving and producing a controversial but solid epic.
This is the way the Star Wars story is going, kids; dig it or walk.
Episode 9 here I come. Kill 'em all, JJ, kill 'em ALL!