Star Wars is Dead to Me Now

Rating: 2/10 (21 December 2017)

Disney killed the force with this film... It's so horrifically bad. They totally destroyed a solid franchise, and I'm talking way worse damage than anything Jar Jar Binks ever did. Every other scene has some marketable furbee animal or gadget that Disney will sure to have at a mall near you.
To begin with, the plot holes truly are as enormous as everyone says. Most of the movie is wasted on storylines that go nowhere and with actions that are made even more meaningless by idiotic and inexplicable plot twists that leaves any adult viewer frustrated with a sickening feeling of whiplash. Seriously, your kid could have written this script and he/she wouldn't have to be a very bright child either...
Characters that you have grown up with are completely changed in personality and in powers for no explainable reason other than to get a cheap laugh or to fill in for the laziest effort of storytelling. As Fisher passed away before release, it makes the way her poor character is treated as idiotic as the stupid plot and dialogue. Heroes are no longer heroes; they flash by quickly as if the director/writer/editor fear that pausing for a moment and actually creating a story might mean the audience looses attention.
The performances by Driver and Ridley, however, are fantastic, which is the only redeeming quality in a script clearly targeted at middle school children. They leave you wanting more for their characters than a reckless plot of loose and disinteresting storylines you've already seen a hundred times over in made-for-tv movies.
Boyega, whose character promised to become stronger and less goofy at the end of Force Awakens, is sidelined with horrific lines that doom his character to never be taken seriously and to never develop further than a hapless Rey fan boy. A sad commentary on the fate of a minority actor in a big screen production... Even the new character Rose is so ridiculous that you'll cringe for half the movie. As much as I deplored Tran's acting, I'd like to give her a bit of a pass for such a disgusting script that took neither the fan base nor the franchise seriously.
A diverse cast of Hollywood hopefuls can't make up for this mess in storytelling in what is obviously a slip-shod job by Disney to earn some big Lucas bucks. It is so unnecessary as Star Wars has a solid fan base that surely flocked to this movie hoping to see the classic films taken on a galactic new saga that would inspire generations to come. Instead, all that's left at the end of The Last Jedi is remorse at an expensive trainwreck of a film that tries to please the dimmest and least potty-trained members of the movie-going public. Words cannot describe the shear disappointment I felt for the story and quality actors that were tied down by this corporate behemoth. I wanted so much to love this film and that fact that I still gave it two stars instead of zero just shows how reluctant I am to admit defeat of the First Order and the Resistance at the money grabbing hands of the Disney deathstar.
This movie could have been so much better with even a little effort and a mindful editor that actually read the horrific script. I'd like to hope Disney can redeem itself from this, but all I have left is a numbness and a horrible dread that Star Wars will be dragged into some Marvel misadventure because no one at Disney cared enough about the legacy of this fantastic franchise. Disney already has countless big blockbuster movies that are riddled with sappy jokes, kiddies toys, spotty scripts and endless, meaningless sequels, prequels and spinoffs (Justice League anyone?). They didn't need to buy up Star Wars via LucasFilms to create more of what movie goers are sick to death of.
I recommend you wait till this is out on DVD and on sale... A really good sale. I don't think I'll ever bother seeing another Star Wars film again.
Also, where was the FTC? I really feel like the public should have been protected from Disney buying Lucas Films... This monstrosity surely proves what a bad deal the consumers got out of it...