Your worst Fear. A childhood magic stolen

Rating: 1/10 (15 December 2017)

"A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away" Isn't that the greatest single tagline for an epic start to a fantastic story ever? Well, the story is now dead. George Lucas did a magical thing in 1977. He had us captivated and enthralled. It was a fantastic adventure filled with unexpected turns and imaginative storytelling.
Say what you want about the Ewoks, but everything still remained in the greatest single story ever created that made it what it was. It was emotional, and inspiring. Star Wars created a new avenue for science fiction and human masterpiece cinema. It wasn't perfect, but it was true to itself and we were all FULLY invested. Of course I'm talking about us Star Wars fans. WE actually own Star Wars. It's a shared love that is timeless and bridges generations so when Disney acquired Lucasfilm and made promises to not ruin the magic we were hopeful. All hope is now lost, and the spark is completely gone.
The Star Wars fan must be SAVED from paying to see this movie!
We start of with a galactic space battle between {really} only two space cruisers. The dreadnaught is bad and the resistance ship is good. This battle actually continues for almost the entire damn movie. Right! Can you believe it?! All the while a couple of our heroes travel happily to and fro the space cruiser at will to get special quest items in order to escape. Really that's all that happens here. Oh yeah, and resistance fighters are being killed every so once in awhile, but we really don't care about any of them until it's convenient to show them when numbers count. Of course they just totally disappear when they're not needed anymore.
Now this god-awful dumbed down trend of epic CGI chases that are so overblown and outside of moving the plot has finally reached its most ridiculous peak. There is a space horse chase through a casino, and believe it! Everything that can be rendered artificially on a computer screen is smashed. Our heroes are of course champion expert riders with no plot realistic element of danger through a montage of child-like gag reels. GAG REELS! Stop it! Everyone hates them. They're so pathetically, and desperately forced upon you, it's insulting. Extremely insulting. We hated them in Phantom Menace, we HATED them in Attack of the Clones, WE HATED them in Force Awakens! They just keep getting worse and more unintelligent. Remember how Star Wars became what it was? Intelligent story telling beyond anything we've ever known before.
Characters are fleshed out in such a way that your booger eating children will recognize their costumes in the toy store. Poe, Kylo, Luke, and a couple of others are passable as characters in dialogue and acting, that's about it. The Snoke battle was great, unfortunately completely wasted, and the climactic super awesome light speed sacrifice attack on the ultimate evil space cruiser begat more WTF moments than a sense of catering to what could make the movie at best forgivable. Remember, we've already got 3 count em 3 goddamn DEATHSTARS! Size isn't everything, and along with the Jedi, character and soul have been completely annihilated by the dark side that is RIAN JOHNSON.
Luke Skywalker's implied demise and battle is the ultimate 2 girls in one cup barf to the face. All anyone has been wanting is to see what kind of a Jedi Luke is now, and you get nothing. No pay off at all, and then he just disappears all on his own. My God, that is the lamest thing I have ever, ever seen.
I'm leaving out a bunch of unspeakable other problems, like really bad acting, horrible scenes that pretty much give up on trying and leave it all to a green screen. It was nice seeing Carrie Fischer, but now that she has lived through this horrible installment the train seems not be more deraillable.
The Jedi are entirely extinct.