The Star Wars we needed, but not the Star Wars we deserved

Rating: 5/10 (27 December 2017)

The Last Jedi's unexpected twists and "bold new vision" cannot, and should not, distract from its underwhelming screenwriting, plot holes, offensive conveniences, utterly forgettable new characters, unsatisfying gotcha moments, unfulfilling reveals, and a truly unbelievable reliance on deus ex BB-8. It's an incredibly preachy, patronizing film that forgets what made Star Wars great in the first place. To my fellow disenchanted fans, however, I offer a glimmer of hope:
This may not be the Star Wars movie we deserved, but it's the Star Wars movie we needed.
You see, in order for us to get back to the Star Wars that we know and love, we ironically needed a film like this to teach Disney a few tough lessons of its own. We needed it to remind them that "new" doesn't always mean "good", and that "different" doesn't always mean "better." We needed it to show them that a radical new direction full of unexpected twists isn't the golden ticket to a fantastic film. And we needed it to show them that if you stray too far away from why people love something, you lose the all-so-important spirit of it, and you're definitely going to find yourself on the wrong end of some well-deserved backlash. In other words, the execution matters too, not just a flashy vision.
So in a way it was good that this movie disappointed fans, because the backlash will be hard to ignore. And we know that Disney listens, because we got stuck with Rian Johnson in the first place based on criticism of the movie's predecessor - so there's still hope!
Yes, the Force Awakens was a good movie that was overall well-liked by critics and fans. J.J. Abrams and his team managed to get a new generation of people excited about a 40 year old story by creating interesting, diverse characters that we all wanted to learn more about, all while maintaining the charm of the original trilogy and respecting what came before it. But that's ALL he did, according to a vocal minority - he did the bare minimum. He didn't push the limits, they said. He played it too safe. Much of the criticism centered on this being basically a remake of a New Hope. Starkiller base was just a bigger Death Star 3.0 that had the same convenient flaw. Jakku was a Tatooine for the millennial era. The cantina scene was basically...the same cantina scene but with different music. It was entirely expected.
So in walks Rian Johnson to the room full of Disney higher-ups who you better believe are facing the harsh realization that their multi-billion dollar purchase is not going to keep delivering returns if they keep remaking things, and he says just the right things: we're going to explore a new direction for The Force. Our heroes are going to be humanized, impacted by the same mistakes and cynicism that we are. Legacy won't matter. Failure is going to be the best lesson. It'll all be different. Have it at Rian - give us the UNexpected!
The problem is that Rian was so preoccupied with teaching us his lessons about how we need to move on from the past (with lessons about animal cruelty, slavery, the vices of the rich, and war profiteering thrown in for good measure) that he forgets about the execution of the movie. If he had spent less time trying to convince us that new and different is good, and that we shouldn't care about the questions raised in the previous movie because that's part of the past, then maybe this might have actually turned into a worthy addition to the Star Wars canon.
Instead, we get convenience and lazy screenwriting, all for the sake of proving his points. Take Finn as an example. Ok, so we need to develop his character more, so let's give him a side quest with Rose. We'll put a hacker in the cell that that they are thrown in for parking, because that's easiest. Then BB-8 will save the day a couple times because that's easy too. Throw in a CGI horse sequence because we didn't learn from the prequels. DJ will teach him that the lines between good and evil are blurry. Then Rose will teach him that saving people you love is more important than killing those that you hate, and we'll do that by having her stop him from...saving the people he loves. It's all about the lesson, though, so we can also ignore the fact that they are stranded in front of the First Order with miles of open land between them and safety doesn't matter.
And that's just one character! On top of these maddening examples of bad writing, Rian also manages to lose the feel of Star Wars. Yes, this movie is visually gorgeous. But the combination of the close ups, the quick cuts, the slow-motion, the Rey mirror sequence, the Matrix-style dodges of Luke in the final battle all add up to a movie that feels more like an Interstellar sequel than a Star Wars film. At least J.J. Abrams prioritized the practical effects and familiar patina that gave the galaxy a grounded, lived-in feel. Abrams even kept the campy screen transitions of the originals. In other words, he cared about making something that was true to its context.
I'll end this commentary by imploring you to ignore the cinema-splaining of the people-that-know-movies-better-than-you. Don't let them fool you into thinking that these themes are fresh and cool and the movie is better because it's different. We don't have to believe that the best way to show Luke's internal struggle with his mistake is by having him run around like an unhinged recluse milking alien sea cows and jumping around on a pole vault/fishing spear. We don't have to believe that the best way to showcase Leia's dormant Force powers is by showing that she can survive explosions, shrapnel and the vacuum of space while Mary Poppins-ing around. And we certainly don't have to believe that the best way to redeem Luke's character in the end is not by having him actually face danger head-on alongside his friends/family like a real hero, but by creating a never-before-seen astral projection of himself, wiping dirt off his shoulder, and then dying anyway.
The controversial new direction may distract us at first, but in the end this movie goes to show us that an unhealthy preoccupation with destroying the past is not a recipe for a home run. And while it may be visually stunning, it's a rotten Star Wars movie.