Worst Star Wars movie EVER.

Rating: 1/10 (18 December 2017)

Episode 7 set up all kinds of very important questions, and we were all waiting patiently for some answers:
- Who are Rey's parents? Where did they go? Why did they abandon her? Why does lukes lightsaber call to Rey? Why was she dreaming of Luke's island? Who is Snoke? Where did Snoke come from? Who was Snoke's master? How did Snoke end up in charge? How did the First order become so powerful? WHO are the knights of Ren? WHERE are the Knights of Ren? How will they end Leia's story (after Carrie Fisher's death)? What ancient wisdom will we glean from Jedi island? What has Luke learned after all these years of study, and what can he pass on to Rey?
The answer to all of this? A giant MIDDLE FINGER to all the fans. Seriously... no answers whatsoever for ANY of it!
- From Jedi island, we got cutesy porgs and a sulking Luke stomping around like a spoiled brat. Then he burns all the ancient books and refuses to teach Rey anything. Well... he gives her a 5-minute 'Jedi 101' meditation session with the obligatory 'feel the force all around you' stuff. After that he gets scared and tells her nothing.
- We learn literally nothing about Rey. There's a sad-sack sales pitch by Kylo Ren who tries to tell her she's an utter nobody. Well... she's a nobody to anyone in the galaxy... except him. He is of course trying to use her worst fears to lure her into becoming his sidekick. But that would explain nothing about Rey... of her awakening... her dreams... Luke's lightsaber, etc etc. It makes no sense at all.
- We learn nothing about Snoke... except that he's petty, not very bright, and easily tricked. He dies with no real fight, and his guards end up putting on a better fight than he did.
- We learn nothing about the Knights of Ren except that 4 of them may have trained under Luke. But where are they? Are they dead? Are they out there running around somewhere? Are they still on Ren's side?
- As for the First Order, we see a vast and powerful military armada... led by complete idiots. It bumbles and stumbles around, while their biggest, meanest ships get pounded into scrap metal by tiny little resistance ships. Apparently, a single X-wing is a decent match for a vast 'Dreadnaught' class super destroyer, and capable of disarming it with a few well-placed blaster shots.
And perhaps the BIGGEST BLUNDER ever committed in sci-fi... It's a blunder that drops a serious flaw into every film ever made in the entire Star Wars franchise! If you're a fan, you might want to sit down for this:
The rebels are being pursued by a MASSIVE flagship... this thing is HUGE... many kilometers long. So the rebels are almost out of feul, and evacuate their cruiser. One woman stays behind, turns it around to point it at the First Order flagship, and goes to lightspeed. It literally shreds the much bigger flagship, cutting it in half. So... HOW DOES THIS RUIN ANYTHING?
Well, WHY did the rebels and the empire (and now the first order) wage all those epic space battles with 'conventional' weapons... when all it takes is a hyperdrive and any crummy old ship to take out pretty much anything in existence? Seriously... they showed us that you can destroy the biggest, baddest warships ever built by simply pointing ships at them and making the jump to light-speed. It's like a nuclear option. So WHY bother with all the huge battles? Why bother building star destroyers, or even a death star? None of it makes any military sense if your average trader could point his piece of junk ship at you and take you out... or better yet, leave a droid to do it? Think about this for a few minutes and you'll see just how many holes this pokes through the very heart of the Star Wars universe!