Subverting expectations

Rating: 1/10 (10 February 2019)

Star Wars - The Last Jedi is filled with plot holes from start to finish. There is a growing trend in reviews here, what I list below is generally what others have listed. This one just left a bad taste in my mouth, and I was sitting there in dismay while enduring the end credits. It's as if they threw the Pie/Star Wars in the oven, and forget to turn the oven off and then left the building.
Some issues below...
1) Waisted opportunities (this is probably the biggest downfall of the entire new trilogy)
2) Poorly timed comedy with a plethora of "Gotcha Moments" building up scenes, only to pull the rug out from the audience, time and time again.
3) Complete lack of continuity from its predecessors.
4) Below average storytelling, with no sense of direction.
5) Porgs.
6) Un-related space horse chase across a random city with some wacky save the animals but don't save the children agenda.
7) A bizarre appearance from Benicio Del Toro that was completely out of place, and made no sense what so ever.
8) Out of nowhere we are introduced to a new character. A purple haired admiral who also serves no real purpose, then she goes out in a blaze of glory, and we are left asking ourselves "why did they cast this character? Why did they not use Admiral Ackbar more? why did they kill him off?
9) A cringe worthy performance from Kelly Marie Tran. The character who played her sister, looked much more interesting, but what do they do with her? Same thing they do with every great character, they kill them off to subvert expectations.
10) A random cameo from Mary Poppins flying through space (clearly another bad idea)
11) Absolutely zero character development and with no overall arch.
12) Weak male protagonists.
13) Even weaker male antagonists.
14) Unbelievable newly invented abilities from the space ships.
15) An underwhelming performance from Captain Phasma. Like Snoke in the TFA, Phasma is introduced as a strong antagonist, yet to be under used and killed off because they couldn't be bothered?, or RJ just didn't like either of the characters, and decided to write them off.
16) Questionable scenes between Rey and Kylo communicating telepathically through Supreme Leader Snokes doing, but after Snokes demise the telepathic connection still continues all by itself between Rey and Kylo.
17) A scene filler showing CP30 and a super powered R2-D2. Another quick scene just to remind the fans "hey, don't worry", it's still SW".
18) A scene filler with Maz Kanata that was best left on the chopping room floor.
19) A strange cameo from Master Yoda with newly invented force abilities. The idea of Yoda making a return was more than welcoming, but it was short lived, and from what we can see is that TLJ is focused more towards the new cast and not the old characters (we get that). They tried to emulate the old mannerisms of Yoda but missed the mark and unfortunately such as Luke's character not enough care was taken, as the perception I got from Yoda in the TLJ, is that he came of as a bizarre yet semi bi-polar joke of a character, and so it felt like a complete gimmick.
20) An overly powered lead character with zero Jedi training edges out Jedi Master Jake, I mean Luke Skywalker. Where in TFA she dispatches Kyo Ren comfortably, which should have been a warning sign. Kylo Ren, a guy that's been training in the force his entire life! A guy who had a Jedi Master as his mentor for most of this life! Loses to a young girl. That's like asking a young Ronda Rousey before she had any training, or was a fighter to jump in the octagon with a seasoned veteran like a Brock Lesnar or Randy Couture and expect her to smash them. That is how ridiculous it is, and yet they allowed this to happen. It just boggles the mind.
21) A weak and dejected Jedi Master that contradicts everything that character has ever been (see Mark Hamill's response, i.e. Jake Skywalker). The opening scene he tosses his light sabre over his shoulder and then drinks green milk from a space alien's teat. Did they just forget TFA even existed? The build-up, the map to Skywalker?
They completely ruined Luke's character, what on earth were they thinking. And Snoke? Who is he? Where did he come from? But more importantly, why did he perish so easily? In an obvious set up that anyone could see coming, but for some reason the baddest being in the galaxy fails to notice it. Even if they explain Snokes backstory in Episode 9, they will never be able to explain his demise to the hands of his pupil Kylo Ren. The best excuse would be "Snoke was blinded by his own arrogance", which doesn't stick due to the fact Snoke made it abundantly clear that he can see and feel every move Kylo Ren makes, so... where does one go from here? Bring Snoke back in Episode 9? Say it was all a plan, or that Snoke was a puppet controlled by a higher being? Or just forget Snoke ever existed.
Having said all this, if they did the right thing with each and every character, then I wouldn't have a problem with any of them. So, you can't blame the actors as they have a script and they just follow directions, even when they questioned the direction as Daisy Ridley and Mark Hamill did, they were brushed to the side. But they can't help themselves, the director and producers clearly showed there was no real direction in this new trilogy.
The only thing, I repeat the only thing that kept this film together was the budget, and special effects, and having the name "Star Wars" and that is probably the only sole reason it made money, because everything else is bad, really bad.
Watching this in the Cinema for the first time, witnessing the way they ended Luke's character, reminded me of the time when I use to work in a Pizza shop in a city, where the back door was adjacent to a dirty alley, often occupied by the homeless, and at that time I witnessed a Heroin addict inject himself with a syringe, to the point where he did the chicken dance before succumbing to his demise, fell over then propped himself up while slumping over in a sitting position reminiscent of Luke's character, crapped his shorts and perished right there and then on the spot. So where does one go from here? The only way they can fix it, is bring Luke Skywalker back in the flesh, because anything less is unacceptable.
Furthermore, the poorly and amateurish choreographed light sabre fight in the throne room (Wizard of OZ rip-off) that looked like something drummed up on post production - because it was forgotten in actual production, as it's obvious this wasn't a priority but felt more like a scene filler, and packed with sloppy continuity errors in the editing department, just look up "Movie Mistake in Star Wars The Last Jedi Explained" on YouTube)."
Just when you think things couldn't get any more bizarre, in the final act during a fire fight, Finn "slowly" drags Rose for literally miles back through a sea of lasers, all the way back to the base, and somehow manages to avoid getting obliterated by the AT-AT Walkers and friendly fire, then miraculously appears at the front gate within minutes. This director is a complete amateur (See Ridley Scott's comments), RJ has already gone down in history as the most hated Director of all time in a matter of only 1 year.
RJ can blame the fans all he wants, he can continue to call the fans names, and insult the very same people who paid to see this film, and kept him in the job. It's just a case of a bad mechanic blaming his tool set here. Fan or not, toxic or not, casual viewer or die-hard, it doesn't matter.
But RJ isn't all to blame, he's just the scape goat here, the fall guy. RJ is the apprentice, because there is always a master and an apprentice. In this case KK/Disney is the master, and RJ is the apprentice, I'm pretty sure we know how this scene plays out, as there are plenty of clips on the internet as examples (depending on your orientation)
Whoever green lit this hot mess, is a reminder that individuals like Jon Peters (Superman Lives, Superman Returns and Man of Steel) are still lurking around in Hollywood and destroying everything in their path just because they are in a position of power, had a rush of blood to their skull and thought this and that would be a great idea. Well, at least we didn't see a giant spider... yet, however in the TFA there was a scene with a Rathtar, which felt out of place.
If RJ's intent was to make SW great, well... he failed us. It is obvious RJ was a never a fan to begin with, but merely an amateur director with a passive aggressive mindset with bad intentions, and was looking for some fame at the expense of SW. And like Gillette, it doesn't matter if it's good or bad press... at least there's a discussion, and now you are famous for all the wrong reasons, but you are famous none the less.
Fast forward a decade from now, TJL will be used in film school under the workshop class, titled "how not to make a movie" or "how to successfully destroy a franchise". Cannot recommend TLJ to anyone, because really I am finding it difficult to find a reason to. This movie doesn't even belong in the "so bad it's good" category either, so it's kind of an enigma. Can you imagine the executives who green lit this, watching this film a year on after its release? Would they sit there with a straight face and say "Great film" yeah, I think not.
Star Wars - The Last Jedi is quite simply a disaster of the highest magnitude that delivers a kick in the guts to anyone who grew up watching this franchise. But even if you don't treat TLJ as another addition to the SW universe, but rather a standalone film? It is just an example of what happens when you just wing it with a one sided political agenda in mind. Normally bad films have a mistake here or there and you can just forgive the production and still find a way to enjoy it, but this even worse. TLJ is rotten to the core, from start to finish.