Star Wars: The Last Snore

Rating: 4/10 (17 December 2017)

I didn't expect much from this movie, and I was still disapointed.A single X-wing piloted by Poe assisted by a few more ships take down an Imperial Dreadnought in the 10 first minutes of the movie, a massive space warship which apparently can be destroyed by a dozen small fighter and bomber ships?
Why weren't there hundreds of T-fighters dispatched to stop them ? I saw five of them or something.
If the First Order is so inept at designing and using their massive fleets, how were they able to take over in the first place? This problem comes up in most Star wars movies, but here they really went too far.
Then there is a kind of space chase where the First Order fleet ,bolstered by its flagship, almost but cannot quite get to the weakened resistance fleet to obliterate it for some unfathomable reasons.
The most unforgiving, was how boring and sluggish the first part of this massive two and a half hour movie went. Rey is in planet "North Scotland" trying to convince Luke to teach her to be a Jedi, the conversations are contrived and do nothing to advance the plot for a solid hour. While this happens Finn and the chubby girl written in the story to please the Chinese market leave the space chase (yup no problem...) to some Casino
planet to find some hacker (drunk Del Torro) who will disable some tracker device on the main First order ship which.
The people running the casino are of course bad guys, and the children labor used on the casino planet for taking care of the horse creatures (why don't they use droids???) for no reason decide to help our heroes who will later let them stranded there, probably to get punished by their evil masters. What is it with the Star Wars franchise and their "live and let live" philosophy when it comes to slavery?
This subplot is both contrived and dull , most importantly it doesn't lead anywhere and the remnants of the purchased resistance fleet escape at the last moment of course to some planet convienantly in the area with an even more conveniant old deserted resistance base located there.
Who wrote this???? I've seen Saturday afternoon Hanna Barbera cartoons with better plot!
I don't mind that they're recycling the main plotlines from The Empire Strikes Back, but couldn't they have done it a bit better?
Anyway after about one hour and a half of this slug, you'll finally get to the better part of the movie where Rey and Kylo Ren confront ... Gollu... I mean Snoke ,Supreme Leader of the First Order. The confrontation actually
managed to keep my interest, not much surprises there, but the fight between Rey and Kylo and Snokes's guard was actually enjoyable to watch.
Then there is the last showdown between the forces of the First order and the resistance on the planet, which actually was pretty well done, again, no real surprise here , and like most of the movie, you never feel like the main heroes
are in real danger , of course some Deus Ex Machina device show up to save them from hopeless situations and they finally escape. It's not unusual for an action movie, I just wish it wasn't so obvious.
Oh and Luke dies back on his planet after fooling the First order, because... he was tired I guess, thanks for all the money Walt Disney! At this point I didn't really care anymore, I was just happy the movie to finally end, it lasted two and a half an hour but felt like five...
The visuals of the movie were really well done, and I especially liked the planet at the end, with the red and white sand (or salt or whatever). The music score was really good and much more true to the classical Star Wars than the last movie. The plot however was for a great length boring and tired-some, the characters played by good actors did the most they could with what they had, but unlike Force Awakens, didn't feel so fresh or invigorating anymore, there were times when they looked positively bored.The New characters ,like the Asian American girl who play Rose and Del Toro weren't bad, they were just victims of a lazy script and felt rather unnecessary in the whole.
I think the director tried to appeal to children with some funny and cute animals on the "Scottish Island" planet and children(labor...) on the "Casino" planet, but I honestly think they'll mostly feel disoriented by the disjointed plot and bored just like many grown ups were.
In short: Apart from some good parts and an "ok" ending, and despite amazing visuals and music score, the "plot" and underused characters let the movie down. I honestly cannot recommend this movie even to casuals, only to Star Wars Die Hard who will watch it no matter what... oh well, at least it wasn't as bad as Star Wars episode one.