Things I learnt from Star Wars - The Last Jedi

Rating: 1/10 (19 December 2017)

WARNING SPOILERS: sorry!

Poe enjoys a good Crank call. They left out the scene where he calls Snoke and asks him if his fridge is running.
One X-wing can disable a Super Super Star Destroyer all on it's own. Just one!
Luke is not good at training Jedi. And if you fail at any of his classes he will kill you.
The Dark Side lives down a Blowhole right under Luke's Island.
Yoda is a Vandal even though he is a ghost - and likes to dance while doing it.
Rey needs no training to wipe out elite guards, lift a hundred boulders, Conference call Kylo all times of the day and magically transport to the gunnery turret of the Millennium Falcon.
A Super Super Star Destroyer can shoot a rebel base from outer space but can't shoot a cruiser right in front of it.
Rubber dinosaurs hang out on cliff sides just waiting to be milked.
Porgs are almost as annoying as Jar Jar.
If you are related to a Jedi you can get blown up, sucked out to space, freeze, fly around in your blown up frozen unconscious state and knock on the door of a passing cruiser.
Snoke has no peripheral vision.
R2-D2 is now only good for being a Cameo. C3PO is only good for a background character. Chewie can blast doors and make a camp fire.
If you fly a small decrepit open top vehicle into the beam of a giant battering cannon that is cutting through a giant steel door, the arials on your wings will melt.
If you are about to be executed in front of a million storm troopers you may get lucky: A ship can crash into you and kill all of them except you.
The Last Jedi makes Revenge of the Sith look good.
Life saving plans from impending doom are on a need to know basis with the rebels. Everyone must think they are about to die. Its a job performance thing.
No two Aliens are alike (unless in a group) You see them once and you will never see their kind again.
Mindblowing Visuals and Adam Driver held the entire movie together with considerable support from Daisy Ridley and a last minute showdown save from Mark Hamill (but ruined by a pointless exit).

With respect to that is the Star Wars universe - this really effort should never have been a part of it. Rian Johnson should stop trying to make movies.