Almost 2 years later, still the most disappointing movie I've ever seen in my life.

Rating: 2/10 (22 August 2019)

Since Rise of Skywalker is coming soon, I'd figure I'd write this.
What can I say about this movie that hasn't already been said? Here's all the legit problems that come up most.
The comedy is horrible and forced. It's like discount MCU humor, and MCU humor isn't even that great to begin with. Typical random forced awkward slapstick comedy. Finn falling and water tubes squirting everywhere, WTF? They even try to insert their horrible comedy in serious scenes, taking away all the tension.
Rey is bland, boring, has no character development, super powerful with little to no training or explanation. They had a chance to semi-explain her natural (God-like)talent, but they throw that out the window by saying her parents are nobodies. They could've made up anything better to explain, like she has previous Jedi training yet mind was wiped, a clone, and/or she was related to a very talented Jedi or force user, etc. Literally anything would've been more interesting that saying her parents are nobody. I get the writer and defenders of this trash movie saying, "She's a nobody cuz that means anyone can be something. It's inspiring for normal people, derp derp!" That's a cute cliche elementary school message, but it sucks, and executed so horribly in the movie. I've seen PBS kids shows execute this cliche message a million times better than Last Jedi, because Rey does not earn her skill or power, which is NOT normal and not relatable at all.
Also how does Kylo Ren know her parents are nobody, and why does Rey just believe him? WTF? A logical explanation I could come up with was Kylo was doing mind tricks on her, but Disney isn't smart enough to come up with stuff like that, and they can't dare show Rey get bested by anyone, because she's a Mary Sue. Cliche saying but it's true.
It's already been said a million times, but Luke Skywalker is ruined. Look, I get we all have our moments of weakness. If I really reach, I can accept him trying to kill his newphew, despite her tried to save his father that's done way more evil stuff. What I can't accept is how he gives up and exiles himself for so long over this one little incident. Giving up is normal, but giving up for that long over something not that big is NOT normal, especially for Luke Skywalker. Multiple planets are destroyed by Kylo, Han Solo is killed by Kylo, the majority of the Resistance is killed, Leia is almost killed by Kylo, yet Luke still hides, WTF?
The other characters are even more trash. Finn is super pointless, and partnered with another even more pointless diversity-for-hire character, Rose. Their entire sideplot is a huge chunk of the movie, yet completely pointless, and has pointless forced preachy real-life political messages that has nothing to do with the rest of the movie. The movie literally pauses just to lecture us on animal rights and capitalism. Obviously I'm for animal rights, but that doesn't mean you should pointlessly shoe-horn it in any movie. Finn also repeats the same character arc of bravery he already did in Force Awakens, except executed way worse and cringe.
Finn and Rose kiss scene on Crait is one of the worst scenes I've ever seen in a movie in a very long time. She kisses him and does that stupid non-sense "it's not about killing the ones we hate, but saving what we love" line while the First Order laser is shooting to kill the Resistence. Finn was literally just about to save the ones he loved, so WTF? She puts the entire Resistance in danger over a cringe crush she has on Finn. If I was Finn, and she tried to kiss me, I'd push her off me, slap her, and call her a "selfish b*tch." If Luke didn't show up, which no one knew was gonna happen, Rose would've got the entire Resistance killed, just for some dumb zero-chemistry crush.
Finn and Rose is probably the worst forced cringe "romances" I've ever seen on the big screen, this even makes Anakin and Padme's romance in Attack of the Clones look good. Nothing they do in the Crait scenes makes sense. How do they not both die or seriously injured when Rose crashes into Finn's ship? Why doesn't the First Order kill them right there since they are now both completely exposed right in front of them? How does Finn manage to drag Rose all the way back to the bunker ON FOOT before the First Order, who has ships. WTF X 1000.
There's also one more awful sideplot with Poe. Too many sideplots in this movie, and they all suck, along with the main plot.
So then we get to the ending. The Resistance is all happy, which makes no sense since the vast majority of their group has just been massacred. They can literally fit their entire group on the Millennium Falcon. The ending should've been somber like the ending of Empire Strikes Back.
Just because it "subverted expectations" doesn't automatically mean it's good. Great writing/engaging plot, consistency, great character development, etc. all comes way before that, all of which this movies fails hard at. At least get those 3 things right before you can worry about subverting expectations and extra layers. Rian Johnson just comes off as an edgelord. He subverts expectations just for the sake of it, and it comes at the expense of any consistency within the story. Trust me, obviously I want originality and unpredictability in new Star Wars and in movies in general, but first and foremost, it has to actually be good and make sense. Just because you have a twist doesn't automatically mean it's a good twist. Rian Johnson is not a talented enough writer to make twist in a satisfying way while also still making sense within the overall story. It's everything "I am your Father" is not.
I swear, I can't think of anything positive to say about this movie, aside from the visuals. Don't call me a Star Wars hater, because I'm not. I wanted to love this movie so bad, but deep down, I just can't. I love Star Wars, even the prequels, I understand the prequels flaws, but they are still very entertaining to me with many amazing memorable scenes and quotes. Despite the prequels aren't perfect, you can tell there's heart and passion behind them. People still quoting the prequels, even the good quotes, because these movies were made with passion. No one quotes Disney Star Wars because there's no heart or passion going into them. It's just greedy corporate Disney shoe-horning their identify politics into it and milking the franchise for money, just like Luke milking that alien t*t, smh!
Last Jedi probably is the most the most disappointing theatre experience of my life. I would never in a million years expect a Star Wars movie to be this bad. It's actually mind-blowing. I heard people say It gets better on multiple viewings, for me, it gets worse! I could barely finish it the second time because bit was SO BORING! This movie has zero rewatchability. No way I can watch that a third time. It seems some hardcore Star Trek fan wrote this movie in order to troll Star Wars and destroy it.
Some say it's for kids, but this movie is insulting to even a kid's intelligence. I will never show my daughter this movie, she deserves better. I was a kid when I loved all 6 original Star Wars movies. I was in 4th grade when Revenge of the Sith hit theaters. Just cuz a movie is aimed at kid's doesn't excuse awful writing, cringe comedy, bad characters, etc. Kids shouldn't be treated like idiots either, they are growing. Movies like Toy Story are great for kid's, because it also has great writing. Even Mulan tells the tale of a strong brave woman a million times better than Force Awakens and Last Jedi, and without overcompensating. Besides, Star Wars is for the whole family in my opinion. But Last Jedi aren't for my kid, and obviously isn't for me.
I'm also not a straight White male, I'm a straight Brown Mexican male, and I still hate forced diversity and identity politics shoved in movies. I hate how ignorant people call others "racist, sexist, homophobic, etc." for not liking this trash movie. I'm none of those things. It's just a trash movie with trash writing, period. I don't care which race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. is involved. Rian Johnson is a straight White male and I think he sucks because he's writing sucks. People who say that need to come up with legit criticisms and arguments like a normal intelligent adult. I accept everyone has different opinions and won't insult you personally if you like Last Jedi. I'm mature enough to accept everyone has different opinions, but you can't ignore the big objective flaws of this movie. And very rare people who claims to like The Last Jedi that I talked to never have any legit reasons on why they like it. They are generally only Far Left people, and/or hipster special snowflakes who go against the popular opinion just for the sake of it, just to feel special. If you truly want Star Wars to continue down this same path as Last Jedi, then wow! I have a very hard time believing you are serious, but I still respect your opinion despite I'm highly against it.