Star wars - The Rise of The Jedisney! Star Wars stripped of elegance, beauty and story..It all felt FORCED :-(

Rating: 1/10 (11 January 2018)

Star Wars is sadly no longer set "a long time ago in a galaxy, far, far away".
It has been ripped apart by Disney and Rian Johnson's modernisation / Disneyfication that leaves the hollow ring of 21st century western culture and dialogue ringing throughout.
For all JJ Abrams unoriginality in TFA's he managed to be reverent to old and new and fuse the two elegantly together - like there was balance in the force.
I fear that balance has now been lost.
Critics have applauded the bold moves taken in this film- but I disagree that they are many really positive bold moves at all.
Can everyone remember everyone what Star Wars is/was ? (it doesn't matter if you are talking the originals, the prequels or the new films). It was somewhat larger than life, epic, a story of simple elements in conflict, sometimes dark , sometimes beautiful and wholly exciting - kids and adults yearned to live in that world -as it was fantasy and set apart.
This film was like seeing a film of "Star Wars trying to be like Guardians of The Galaxy , trying to be Star Wars" but with some quasi 21st century moral high ground thrown in....
There's nothing wrong with 21st century thinking I applaud it- but there are a million other films that integrate it and comedy elements less heavy handed-ly. Rian Johnson failed with this in my opinion.
It is therefore not bold to undermine the foundations of a much loved and well know saga with its own myth and legend and replace it with the common everyday way of doing things and nothing else -just cos one person feels like it.
This is again my overriding issue - Disney and the director have now made most of the heros and plot devices in star wars every day things- i'm all for inclusion for all and liberalist non-elitism (i'm a minority member myself) but it doesn't work well in a world of fantasy and epic other worldliness.
No wonder half the audience possibly despise it.
For me the dialogue and plot of neither the prequels nor the originals ever reminded me of living in the 70s , 80s or 90s or 00s.
This film reeked of today...! it stank of it.
Remember it's supposed to be in " a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away" !!!!!!!!!!! NOT TODAY.
I can see people shooting me down already- the reason it doesn't work is two fold:-
1.) it has some of the most banal set of l storylines in Star Wars -and even they were handled terribly. The ideas of Star Wars were treated condescendingly and crassly by the director in his (to be applauded) attempt to modernise the saga.
In TLJ the trite explanation of 21st century vibes and attitudes to storytelling and film making is thrown in your face it distracts from the already non existent story....it's great to be progressive - but did it help the film be exciting?
Did you feel like you were in another galaxy? Was the space chase exciting for you? where did it actually take you as an audience member? Where was the space Gas station when you needed it? Did we actually need it to be like a Marvel or other Disney film just cos that's what all the other films out there are like now?
It was like Disney screamed "we've got to get all this all inclusive stuff in here no matter what". Shame as if these lessons weren't rammed in the audience's face it would ve come across nicely- then the Star Wars World would modernised- but not become obsessed with it suddenly.
Examples .....
Rose and Finn - middle of war , less than 12hrs to find a solution- only worth the carnage of Canto Bight- cos they let the animals free.
If they had let the animals free and Rose hadn't pointedly exclaimed " now it's worth it " that would've been cute, we 'd have got it... Instead it was puke worthy and rammed down your throat.
Admiral Holdo -saves everyone by a suicide run with a huge ship - that's fine yep Disney are cool with that - no ship left no Holdo left....
Then Finn tries to do suicide run 10mins later on a tiny ship to again (snore ) save the resistance- Disney not cool - cos someone he met 15 hrs ago (*Rose) decides it's wrong and says she loves him? whatever your view on this it's STUPID storytelling on face value in some way or another.
And the whole bombing run suicide run thing had been used twice already!
Yep Love is great and should win out - but in the middle of the battle field when you're all just about to die and you're fighting in a rebellion and love the greater good than yourself , saved by someone you hardly know and given a talk down?? (again- WTF? NOT THE RIGHT TIME!) Now Luke is dead too. Thanks Rose.
We only needed some crystal critters to escape after all that ( I roll my eyes)
Are the street children of Canto Bight going to sing Kum-By-Yah to the First Order and hope for the best in Episode 9?
I could honestly see Episode 9 turning into a musical if Disney were anymore obviously intrusive and Ren running an orphanage of street urchins who sing along to songs from Mary Poppins.
The plotlines only exist so the characters have something to do in this film - they don't actually really lead the characters anywhere important...

There's a hundred more other things in this film that are designed to get a rise out of you as an audience member.
A 5 year old could've imagined a better and less convoluted story.
Possible reason why some people are upset:-
It is a truth and a fact that Star wars has been at the pinnacle of popular sci fi / space operas since it exploded onto our screens. It is universal and is well loved.
TLJ was like trying to dress up someone of the wrong age in new trendy fashionable clothes and failing. It is possble to succeed- but It has to be done sensitively , it can feel right and great , but you really have to get it right.
Rian Johnson didn't and you know that- you're still having to think about why it didn t feel epic and grand like ALL The other films....
In a nutshell what Disney and Rian have done is make it a sanitised version of 21st century 'living'....with lots of hyperspace suicide run and fuel issues!
Ask yourself - is that what you want from a fantasy film set somewhere millions of galaxy's away?
So for those who do like it and say yes -that is what I want.
SWars is eventually going to be come tedious for you. It'll be like SWars Harry Potter but you don't even have to have a Hogwarts or magic training and everyone can have a Force Badge.... yippee! everyone happy - but less and less exciting.
They'll be more stories that are there just to allow certain set pieces to happen but nothing else- but go buy more merchandise and forget the rest,:- you'll be happy when you see people always doing what's right on 21st century earth : - ** Star Wars The First Jedisney " In a galaxy yesterday , near you"*
For those who say no - who don't like the new order :-
The Force is something you can now sweep the streets with, everyone talks like they are 20 somethings from middle class Californian families, everyone jokes like we do in the modern day. It is an all inclusive vision of star wars - (applause for Disney) -but it also undermines the very reason's why Star Wars works - it is too exemplary of our times and has removed the magic and 'special' powers that make Star Wars interesting as it is no longer pure escapism.
It is a badly constructed 21st century Disney franchise product forever more.
I can go and watch Star Trek for socio-political lessons with people stuck on spaceships with low fuel issues - but the genius of star wars was that you didn't have to worry about that, - you sensed its morals but not drowned in them - but most importantly you left this world behind and enjoyed the ride.
TLJ is full of contrived technicalities and twists to get a rise our of the audience and undermine one of the most universally loved sci fi worlds in history.
They do not serve the actors well, the characters well, the SW universe well or the audience. The SW universe Disney-fication will see future films become parallels of all other sci fi comedy and Disney films.

People say enjoy the film - it was fun and they've torn up the rule book too.
You have to write a good story to do that, that both young and old fans can believe in the transition.
I cannot remember watching ANY other SW film and thinking " this is going to date so badly"... cos it's so obviously of our time and Disney schlock ideas.
As audience members TLJ told us how what to do and how to feel about Star Wars and the choices it's character's made. That again is poor storytelling.
Be flippant about Luke, be sweet about the animals living on Canto Bight and their lot in life, include badly costumed Victorian street children looking bleary eyed at the stars - but make sure it has resounding purpose and emotion and feels naturally part of that wold and universe.
You also have to be able to suspend disbelief in any space opera/sci-fi/ fantasy film and everyone has their natural limit .
You have to believe what is happening would possibly occur in any reasonable shape or form (regardless of physics etc).
This film was non-sensical by half way through, the characters making unbelievable decisions at every turn.
Will the next film be called "Star Peace - The rise of the Jedisneys" ????
I do hope so - as all the people who loved the new vibe will be happy and this review will be wholly justified - (whether you liked TLJ or not!)