Empty and vacuous CGI festival of explosions...

Rating: 3/10 (21 December 2017)

I enjoyed the last Star Wars. If I remember correctly much of the action took place on the ground away from the space ships. With this episode so much of the film is set in the ships -- and accompanied with endless poorly executed CGI explosions. It just went on and on -- even cutting away from turgid meaningful conversations to show more rocket guns or whatever you call them missing their mark or bouncing off protective invisible shields. To be honest I tired of the film about a third of the way in. The two and a half hours dragged terribly. A yawn fest of yet more explosions or battle scenes that simply made no logical sense with some mighty bombers easily blown to smithereens while lots of fighters zoomed about like demented flies. And then there was poor old Luke Skywalker living in a stone hut on the edge of a cliff with some girl parked outside his door waiting for him to pop out for a spot of sea fishing so she could try to tempt him back to save the day. Boring..... And when old Luke throws a hissy fit and ignores her whining she engages in deep conversation with a bloke who is not even there. He dresses in black and sports a nice line in heroic scars. Go knows where he actually is -- but he ain't next to her that's for sure even though they stare meaningfully into each other's troubled eyes. Carrie Fisher sits down for most of the film, but does see it through to the end -- and then she's gone...... Look, any film that begins with Ade Edmondson dressed up like a pseudo Nazi having a rant with a wild-eyed carrot-topped geezer who comes from the let's-all--go-over-the-top school of acting is on a hiding to nothing. Follow this with a meandering script that gets lost in a nowhere land of its own making and you have a lost opportunity to continue a classic modern sci-fi tale into gleaming pastures new. Sadly this muddy field only contains a donkey...cue: loud orange explosion as said donkey goes off to meet its skymaker.