TLJ Rant

Rating: 1/10 (18 December 2017)

Star Wars episode VIII - The Last Jedi
Rant
The movie starts out with the threat of the First Order looming over the Resistance base.
An entire fleet of star destroyers and a super star destroyer (dreadnought class) gets confronted by one small x-wing which is piloted by (you guessed it) Poe Dameron.
Now before Poe attacks he hails the command ship with Hux on it and redicule him with a bizzare dialog about his name being "Hugs" and not "Hux". Hux gets trolled and tilted and shows off a side which reflects him as being dimwitted and mind you Hux is the commander of the entire First Order army.
Poe carries out his attack and more or less turns their feared dreadnought into a stranded whale ripe for the taking. About a dussin Resitance fighters gets taken out which is an upset to general Leia and results on Poe getting demoted. Now if you ask me a dussin fighters in exchange for a dreadnought is a very small price to pay.
As the Resistance jumps to light speed they are being tracked with a technology that we don't really understand how it works because the explanation was rather vague. This explanation was given by the new character named Rose who gets a seemingly unnecessary romance with Finn (who is obviously in love with Rey - this leads to as many has already thought; the love of Ren and Rey manifesting throughout the trilogy).
Rose and Finn travels to a new world which is renowed for their casinos. This seemed like a very cool place which we would get to discover but it was rather dull and just felt like some plot-filling. The code-breaker, the animals, the children, all of it was just lacklusting.
Meanwhile this is taking place Rey is visiting Luke who has turned into a big grumpy baby and not the cool and powerful jedi master who would oversee her training. Rey gets three leassons and none of them invovled fighting, just philosophy. Don't get me wrong that's good too but it's not enough to take on the siths.
The story would have made more sense if we didn't start off where we left with Rey presenting Luke's lightsaber to him (which he tossed away? Even if there is no need for jedi's should their weapons be forfitted as well?). Rather then that being the case Rey should be knee deep into her training and be a lot more powerful, that would have made it more acceptable when we see her fight. I know Rey is familiar with her staff but still... Perhaps if Rey gets a staff-saber for the next movie we can relate better to her combat experience.
Throughout the movie Rey and Ren has this weird force-bond which we've never seen before. Their dialogs were weird and got tedious rather quickly. Kylo Ren just seemes so confused and shattered and weak. He is hestitant about Rey, lacks the determination to kill his mother and gets treated like a dog by Snoke.
Speaking of Snoke (stupid name for a character that is quite unncessary to begin with). He sees that Ren is a child, hiding behind his mask, a mask which was never needed, I mean he can breath fine as it is, probably even better without it. Snoke points out what many felt was strange in the first movie; that Ren lost to Rey who had never held a lightsaber before.
Snoke also seems obsessed about Vader, why I don't know. Why does he want a new Vader? Snoke seems more powerful then Vader and Sidious put together. He toyed with Rey like she was a ragdoll. Who was Snoke? Where did he get his powers? He looks old enough to be older then Sidious. Was he hiding due to the rule of two? And why would Ren who has fought so hard to please his lord kill him?
Meanwhile Finn and Rose are captured and about to be executed in the hangar bay. The execution is however interupted by the noble sacrifice of admiral Holdo as the Mon calamary cruiser sets its course onto the dreadnought with lightspeed. When we return to Finn and Rose they are both safe and sound and Phasma and her troops are on the other side of a huge hangar door. Yet she was standing just a few feet away from him and there were no signs of any injuries on her that would indicate that she got blasted away.
Now lets move down to Crait. I was stoked for this scene. Like a new take on Hoth which is probably the most iconic fight throughout the entire Star Wars sagas. There wasn't much going on down there, nothing that would classify as a real battle. The little band of the Resistance which at the start of the film consisted of 400 soilders were now down to about 200 (estimated numbers due to all the ships which got destroyed).
I was a bit excited when Finn was about to give his life for the Resistance but sadly Rose couldn't let him go due to her feelings for her which she had developed over a 24-hour~ period.
After the so called "battle" of Crait Luke enters! Oh wow, this will be climactic moment of the movie. Ren and Luke will finally have their battle. But no... Ren freaks out and orders every cannon to fire on Luke. More! More!! More!!!. After the dust settles Luke's apparition still stand, completely unblemished. No lightsaber duel takes place because Luke's force move claims his life...
Other things which felt unresolved or misfitted:
What kind of force bond does Ren and Rey have? We've never seen any such interaction before.
What happend to the knights of Ren? Luke trained 13 jedis, Ren took of with a group of them but we never saw them, did we? And it seemed as though there were quite a few bodies on the ground. Do the numbers add up?
It was said that Luke went to discover the first jedi temple ever built and these scrolls in the tree were a thousand years old. The jedis have been around for many thousands of years. Even back in TPM Windu says that there hasn't been a sith around for over a thousand years. Again, do the numbers add up?
What kind of training has Leia undergone to be able to use the force whilst floating in space? That scene was so strange and it didn't make sense. It would have been better (and I say with a heavy heart) to just let her die there and then seeing as she is no longer with us today.
And what did Yoda, Obi-wan and Qui-gon say to Luke when he was on the island. Surely they must've tried to talk some sense into him?
This movie failed so hard. I would deem it to be the worst of all the movies. It didn't feel as Star Wars at all. It felt as if they tried too hard and had too many things going on at the same time. Sometimes less is more.