I'm Conflicted: A Great AND Bad Movie

Rating: 6/10 (13 March 2018)

This is a very odd film. It has so much going for it in terms of incredible scenes and "moments" while it fails to be a great movie overall. It's strangely disjointed even with the long runtime. I'll explain....
Last Jedi is a personal story of Rey and Ren, wrapped up in a chase film. The goal isn't to blow anything up - it's to get away. And that is what the Empire Strikes Back had going for it, too.
The problem is that this film is LITERALLY a chase movie. Like a slow speed chase that defies even Star Wars space physics. In space, where there is no friction, and a ship can retain speed without engine power. Why do the Rebels need fuel to maintain a safe distance from the First Order? Moreover, why does the FO just patiently chases behind, seemingly unable to catch up? Their TIE fighters are broken? The logic behind the chaser and the chasee makes no sense whatsoever.
During the battle, Leia gets blown out into space where it's absolute zero and human blood boils. But she wakes up and Mary Poppins herself back to the ship. This was like a bad dream. What were they thinking? Who wrote this?
Then, we find out the FO has a hyperspace tracker. Just like we saw in Star Trek Into Darkness. And that plot element necessitates a pointless side trip to a casino planet with donkeycamelhorses and a Force sensitive boy. They pick up a guy who coincidentally has the master safecracker skills they need in a jailcell. He was just waiting there for them for weeks? Months? They escape, reunite with the Rebels and then sneak aboard the huge ship to disable it. But they fail. And it gets blowed up real good by weaponizing hyperspace travel by purple hair Laura Dern. So their whole casino sidetrip was pointless.
Then, there's the training of Rey. She seems to spend more time on the Force phone with Kylo than learning to control the Force. Luke is grumpy and worthless. Glum and joyless - certainly not the idealistic crusader Luke used to be. He literally doesn't help Rey at all. Then, she leaves and he stays on the planet for the rest of the film. But don't forget the adorable sealpenguinowl who becomes Chewie's BFF!
Yoda, looking very, very fake orders lightning to burn the Jedi tree and the Jedi texts. Then, he acts like a crazy gnome TESB style. His speech to Luke wasn't very helpful. It was a pointless scene.
The last sequence on the salt planet with the red dirt was absolutely nonsensical. So, the FO lands a hoarde of walkers (shaped like gorillas now for some reason), amidst a flock of crystal fur foxes (why not). The advance is slow. Why? Because the Rebels have a WALL. That's right. The advanced technology of the First Order is stymied by thick metal. They shoot right through it in every other situation, but not this one.
Finn and Rose are captured and are magically set up to face off with Phasma. How poetic. 100,000 crewmen aboard that huge ship and Phasma just happens to be around Finn when it gets split in half. Ugh. Cheese.
And was that safecracker a good guy or a bad guy?
So the First Order brings down a huge cannon (LOTR Two Towers seige style) and roll this in close to shoot through the metal door. Who wrote this screenplay? And the Rebels attack with like 12 rickety speeders. Finn rides his up into the beam of death energy and is unharmed, but he is crashed by Rose who "saves" him from killing himself, when both of them will be killed (plus all the others) if the cannon isn't stopped. Great logic, Rose.
Then Luke shows up and stalls for time with Kylo attacking a Force hologram that seems to interact with light photons and wind, but not with salt crystals on the ground. Luke's hologram also handed Leia dice into the palm of her hand earlier. Is he solid matter or not? The script doesn't seem to care.
The Rebels escape out the "back exit" while Rey levitatates 10,000 tons of boulders. Wow, she sure got strong with the Force, huh? The FO apparently forgot they have the power of flight or they might've encircled the Rebel stronghold. But I guess they forgot, and the last hope of the Rebellion (all 15 of them) get away in the Millenium Falcon, ready to plot thier revenge.
Of course, Snoke dies before we got to know him. I liked that scene. We will never know how powerful Snoke is compared to the Emperor. Or even, what the eff Snoke is. Mary Sue and Kylo take down a bunch of red samurai with nonsensical electrical blade weapons when blasters would've done the trick.
At the end, I guess Luke overloaded his Force battery and burned out after he hologrammed. Yep, Luke joins Han Solo in the sweet release of death. Ironically, it is Carrie Fisher as Leia, the lone surviving principal character is who is actually departed in real life.
What a misstep for Disney to allow such a poorly scripted plot, and such a misuse of characters to make it up onto the big screen. This could've been such a great film. But nope.