The Demise of Star Wars

Rating: 1/10 (2 January 2018)

Let's see if the third time's the charm.
Wow, the lackluster trailers failed to give me any hype for this, so I wasn't even expecting much, but this, this is a new definition of "low".
Virtually everything in this movie is outright bad. The plot is disjointed and stupid. The action is bland, the space battles lack in scale and logic, with 1 fighter being able to destroy all of a huge dreadnought's cannons. As for lightsaber duels, well, there are none for Christ's sake! And the one fight using sabers has horrible choreography that is nowhere near the spectacle of acrobatic battles of the overly-hated prequels.
The characters also suck, both old and new. The largest new addition is an ugly fat (I mean, body-positive) Asian chick who is extra-annoying and whose subplot leads to nowhere. As for the old ones, Kylo and the Ginger still act like hysterical children whereas our Wonder-Girl can still do amazing feats of the Force with no prior training, like holding a ton of boulders without breaking a sweat.
The huge problem is that Episode 8 has managed to blatantly flush the intriguing stuff from Force Awakens down the toilet. Big SPOILERS ahead.
Made theories about who is Snoke? Nevermind, he is just a CGI model with no backstory who dies after a stupid cliche villain monologue.
Thought Phasma would be an actual character, a leader of the stormtroopers? Nah, she is just an extra who also wastes the chance to kill off the heroes to die in an utterly stupid way.
Hoped that Luke would kick some butt for the old times' sake? No Sir, he's just gonna project some sort of hologram of himself and then die for no reason! How would he even make that "hologram" on another planet with the Force?
Theorized as to who would be Rey's parents? Obi-Wan, Sarlacc maybe? Lo and behold, they are noname off-screen god-forsaken bums.
Sounds amazing right? To add to that there's garbage like:
Boring talks about Hope and Resistance; Yoda's cameo who looks like a plastic piece of cr*p from the old movies, talks nonsense and somehow spawns a bolt of lightning even though Force ghosts have never been able to interact with the physical world before; A space casino which looks like a normal Earth casino but with some silly creatures; Leia survives in outer space and flies like Superman though she has never displayed any knowledge of the Force except for some connection with Luke; A lot of sugar-cutie (ice foxes) and disgusting ("Porgs", that thing with nipples) creatures designed so the incarnation of Satan aka "Disney" would sell merchandise; The annoying Asian prevents Finn from stopping the ram thing for no reason.
This isn't even close to everything wrong with this movie, just what I remember off the bat. It's one of the two films that I've ever given a 1/10 to (the other being Movie 43) and the single worst movie in the Star Wars franchise. I now have zero willingness to see Episode 9 or that trilogy that will be written and directed by this movie's creator, Rian "Worthless Hack" Johnson.
The Star Wars are dead, baby. Was fun while it lasted.