worse than attack of the clonematoes

Rating: 1/10 (27 December 2017)

Universe is unexplained who is in charge?. In middle of "tense" battle, Poe calls bad guys to make a your momma joke. Dreadnought cannot by design destroy X-wing because it is too close????. They use bombers...in space...No Gravity???
Luke comically throws away lightsaber, then milks creepy animal while it stairs at Rey. Rey translates chewy to Luke, in spite of the fact Luke can already understand wookie. Luke hears Han is dead and CUT...they don't show his reaction WOW!. Kylo fly's up to Hangar bay and destroys ships, even though it would be shielded. Bridge is also unshielded, Leia dies in fairly tasteful/impactful way to her charact...Wait no!!! wtf she can fly and survive explosions in the freezing cold of space. They then open a door and let her in although they would all be sucked out in space without an airlock. Dumb ticking clock situation as first order can't quite catch rebellion/resistance but resistance is running out of fuel.....even though they could just flank with some ships using hyperdrive lightspeed.
Purple hair women-power won't tell anyone plan for no reason, which causes all kinds of problems.
Finn while injured and unconcious must have learned to fly between films as him needed both Poe then Rey as pilots was a major plot driver of ep 7. Finn and fat-shrek-asian-moron go to a casino mid battle to......free rabbit-horses and ignore slaves side quest and end up in prison. Code-break guy breaks them out of prison steals a ship with BB-8 and saves them somehow.
Luke Sky-walker's character is ruined forever as he tried to kill his nephew in his sleep because.......
Shirtless Kylo video-call using the force???? Yoda acts like a cartoon then uses lightning to destroy a tree...can ghosts just kill people now or what?? Poe organises a mutiny then just leaves purple hair not locked up. Rey is now on bad guys ship somehow. Knights of Ren ignored, Reys parents are nobody, Snoke is dead and unexplained in comical scene. Rey is super overpowered which is explained as kylo is powerful and...balance, which completely destroys the concept of the force and makes previous movies well not make any sense. In very pretty DUMB DUMB scene purple hair hyperdrives into ships destroying bad guys fleet, which now makes the actions of rebels dumb as could have destroyed death stars like this so.....
Phasma somehow not dead is easily defeated again...what a great character. Copy of Hoth scene from empire...Finn has an arc risks his life to save everyone....nope!!!! fat-shrek-asian-moron rams his ship from the side which would have killed them both, then the bad guys just don't kill them ...then something something fat kiss.....because love. Luke shows up to save the day finally we get a lightsaber battle NOPE!!!!! lukes not really there he is using magic-force??? Kylo can't kill Luke and he did not die....then luke just dies.....wait what??