Episode I is a masterpiece next to this

Rating: 1/10 (17 December 2017)

Well, let's get this over with. Here's the plot:
The whole film is about the rebellion fleeing the empire or whatever they call those space nazis. That's it. That's the core. Then we got a bunch of random characters doing random stuff. Just like that, each go about their own business, like different stories loosely connected. I even thought the Force Awakens wasn't THAT bad, but this film sets the bar lower than ever. Remember Snoke? Who is he? Nobody knows. Why are there Rebels during the Republic? What are they rebelling against? Nobody knows. If there is a Galactic Republic, where's the army? Nobody knows. No questions were answered in this film. Instead we got what seems to be a bunch of sequences some random dude thought was cool, some unfunny jokes and mashed all together in this thing they can Episode VIII.
Where was I? Alright, they are escaping. Leia almost dies, the space nazis can track the rebellion ships through hyper-space, nobody knows how, nobody ever finds out. But Finn is on it, and after a lot of pain, he's got nothing. But he kills Phasma after miraculously surviving a cliché attempt of failed execution and an explosion that kills everyone around him. Then Rey and Chewbacca meet Luke. Luke wants to die and take the jedi teachings with him. Rey has a connection with Ben Solo, she decides to save him. They kill Snoke. But Ben is bad for no reason and he decides to stay that way. Yoda makes a cameo. Luke feels guilty and dies. The rebellion is saved. The end. Ridiculous.
Mark Hamill is the only thing holding this nonsense together. Can't complain about him, he did his lines and did well. But the fact that no one questioned this script is not excusable. How many people working on this? Nobody questioned how stupid everything was? This film is pestered with children nonsense like furry animals and kids doing stupid stuff. When people are not wasting time on pointless dialogues and killing themselves off-screen for the greater good (yes, there are like... 3 characters sacrificing themselves? wtf!), they are making jokes in very inappropriate moments and vomiting clichés all over the place. Snoke dying was surprising. But I don't know enough about the character to give a flying toss. We have a couple of new characters nobody cares about, and by the end of the film almost nothing happens.
This film is boring. Even the endless nonsensical Trade Federation stupidity from the prequels was more interesting than this. George Lucas probably wasn't the most talented writer, but at least the dude tried to tell a story. He failed almost comically with the prequels, but hey, at least after Jar-Jar Binks we didn't have any furry Puss-in-Boots types of characters to entertain children.
Disney really messed up here. I give one star for Mark Hamill and I think the fact that his character and Ford's character died is foretelling of how the franchise died. Forget Star Wars. It crap is a children's show now.