Flaming hot dumpster fire

Rating: 1/10 (21 December 2017)

I literally do not know where to begin with this movie. It does not even feel as if I am watching Star Wars. There is a complete disregard for its predecessors and nonsense thrown in along the way to keep a nice balance of terrible and awful. We begin by watching what are basically WWII bombers take on some massive ship only to be obliterated, but not before an unsung hero who uses her power of kicking and calmly breathing in space (the doors to drop the bombs are open the entire time) to manually make the drop. I mean seriously? This opening scene alone was enough to make me question who let this script be finalized. We are eventually brought to the main plot which turns out to be the most ridiculous idea ever. The entire reason that this movie happens is because the Resistance ship stays just a little bit ahead of the First Order ship and out of their range. I mean really?? You are gonna have me believe that the First Order can't just move a bit faster? For over 18 hours we are supposed to believe that the Resistance ship stays safe..... because they are just a little too far ahead. Wow. My favorite part has to be when Leia breaks the laws of physics and suddenly uses the Force..... to not only breathe in space... but fly like Superman. That is only in the first 45 minutes. The character of Rose is undeniably my least favorite part about this movie. Rian Johnson can try all he wants to try and make me care about her, but I won't. Honestly I was rooting for her death. This woman goes from watching the escape pods at the beginning to I guess having some serious position at the end?? After she of course goes on the worst mission ever with the other worst character in this new trilogy. They somehow leave undected from the main ship (which is still staying JUST a bit ahead so they do not get killed) and travel to another planet that I do not care about. Here Johnson tries to get you to sympathize with Rose for literally no reason and introduces you to Del Toro's character who ends up stabbing the Resistance in the back anyway. The pairing of the two most unlikeable characters in the movie was hard to watch the entire time and it never got better. This movies script was its downfall from start to finish. The hot steaming pile of trash that was the finish however really put the nail in the coffin. After the Resistance is given a second chance when their ship crashes through the First Order's, somehow Finn and Rose are the only two people on their part of the ship who did not die and peopmtly have a showdown with Captain Phasma... that lasts about five minutes when BB-8, a droid remember, operates an AT-ST and takes out the remaining troopers that came with Phasma. Phasma then dies, because apparently that character really did not matter at all. Meanwhile Snoke, who is supposed to be the most powerful Dark Lord, is betrayed by Kylo in a way that had me more puzzled than ever. If you somehow are able to know all about the force and know how to look inside of Kylo to see where his allegiance lies how do you miss his change?? You expect me to believe that Kylo is stronger than Snoke??? Seriously? The guy could not beat Rey who had never even used a lightsaber or the force. At least make it believable. Snoke was never even given any background; we do not even know who he really is or was now I guess. Another waste of a character. Now we get to this last Resistance hideout (which is just amazingly equipped with guns and ships and trenches already dug out by the way) for the final fight. Rey shows up in the Falcon... somehow even though she left on Snoke's private ship. I did not agree with Finn's reasoning to sacrifice himself but I thought it would be fitting... until Rose screwed it all up... for no reason... basically dooming everyone in the base. And guess what she did it for? Yep you guessed it... good ol' love because that's what the movie was missing, a love story between its two most god awful characters. Now here comes the best part. Honestly getting to see Hamill on screen was the best part of this entire film, I thought he did well with what he was given and really stuck out. What the film chose to do with him on the other hand is probably the most nonsensical, unbelievable, ridiculous thing that I could have seen. They expect you to believe that Luke is able to project himself over billions of miles in a holographic form. Even for the most powerful Jedi in the world that is not even logical. Then after all of it ends... he just dissipates. This movie kills off probably one of the best characters in all of cinema history by him just "being at peace" and leaving. It was insulting to see. By the way, Yoda being able to use the force and physically touch Luke was laughable. Never has that ever been allowed or even talked about and I will be the first to say it's wrong. This movie crapped on everything that came before it and I really do not think the franchise can come back after this mess. I think the entire saga is kind of ruined after this. Just a flaming hot dumpster fire.