Absolutely terrible

Rating: 1/10 (18 December 2017)

Where to begin....
People ask me, "what didn't you like about it"
I reply, "what was there to like?"
Let's face it:
1. Acting was atrocious. From the get-go, it was bad.
2. Space battles: what space battles? Oh, you mean ships moving along slowly being bombarded from cruisers without returning fire? Oh yeah, that was 1/2 the movie. And it sucked.
3. Lightsaber duels: which....there were none.
4. Luke is still a cry-baby. Didn't he end on a high-note after the 6th? He still hasn't gotten the deal on the force after going through the whole motions of the original trilogy? Christ, I thought we all got it by now.
5. The need to satisfy: seriously, they went out ahead of themselves to make sure EVERYTHING was PC. A black, a woman, an asian, a hispanic, a Wookie. Really? I would have been happy with an actor/actress.
6. What was Luke's point in the film again? remind me cause I missed it.
7. Plot? Who needs one of those? "we win this thing by saving the things we love" - literally said when she foils his attempt to strike at the First Order AT THE VERY MOMENT they bust through to destroy the entire rebel alliance. What....an.....idiot....
8. Daisy Ridley kept her clothes on. The same clothes. For the entire movie. Wow has she got to stink. She also NEVER showers. Ever.
9. a land battle of rebel fighters running to engage ATAT walkers. And they never even get there. not even a nudge. What was the point?
10. Luke and Vader were absolute badasses with the force who needed YEARS of training to do anything. Rey needs no trainnig and she's a f'n Jedi master. Suck it Yoda.
11. No plan works for the Rebel Alliance. None. Everything fails. Miserably. Anybody want to let me know how long we keep the exceedingly aged Princess in charge? Which, by the way, her Dad blew up on Alderaan. Shouldn't she be a Queen by now? It's been 50 years already. I think she's ready for the big chair.
12. Imperial Guards are apparently a pretty close match for a freaking Sith/Jedi ass-kicking. Huh?
13. Goodbye Snoke. We hardly knew you. No really, we really didn't know you. Who are you again? And how did you end up looking like Christopher Walken on a good day?
14. Bombs are dropped on a ship. In space. No really. With a bomb door too. No oxygen needed apparently for the crew.
15. "Their ships are smaller and fleeter". Apparently someone failed to read a Physics book here and the laws of momentum. The same applies to "They're running out of fuel". Really? And what, precisely, is causing their ships to slow that they would need to expend fuel?
Let's see. What happened? Um....basically nothing happened. In the whole film. Luke did nothing. The rebel alliance did nothing. The First Order really did nothing. I basically did nothing.