A Complete Travesty of a "Star Wars" Film

Rating: 1/10 (10 November 2019)

When I first went in to see Star Wars: The Last Jedi, I initially walked away thinking it was good and that- aside from a few questionable moments- there was nothing wrong with it. But after taking some time to think about it and in reviewing the previous films, I realised that I was blinded by the smokescreen of the film's special effects to notice how poorly written and horrendous the entire movie actually was. Even my friends saw the flaws in the film that I didn't, because my love for the Star Wars name kept me from seeing the truth- that this film was filled with so many plot holes, retcons, and writing choices that it made me question how this movie ever made it off the drawing board and into production. I mean... did they just get one guy to proof check this as opposed to an entire room of people... or did a certain someone on the crew simply push this film to being made regardless of its gaping flaws?
After what I've been hearing lately, I wouldn't be surprised.
Before I get wrapped up in the politics of this film, let's analyse the flaws a little more closely- starting with the plot. (That way I won't get called out for being misogynistic or something like that by the director or anyone else out there in the world who supports this train wreck of a film.)
The entire main plot of this movie revolves around the Rebels- I mean the Resistance- fleeing from the Emp- I mean First Order- after blowing up their solar system busting weapon in the first film, while at the same time the fledgling force sensitive Rei is receiving training and guidance from the legendary Jedi Master Luke Skywalker (an inspirational figure for millions around the world and the face of the Star Wars franchise itself).
Now, you would think from this premise of this film that the story would be exciting, filled with a lot of action, flashy fights, and ton of trials and tribulations that would make sense and have you on the edge of your seat- as you would expect after viewing all three of the original Star Wars films and the three prequel movies. But sadly, it doesn't.
The chase sequence between the First Order and the Resistance is slow, drawn out, and doesn't make any sense in the Star Wars universe, due to in-world physics being rewritten and retcons being made left, right and centre. In comparison, the chase at the start of the original Star Wars (A New Hope) between the Star Destroyer and Leia's ship lasted about a few seconds before the good guys were captured. But in this one we have an entire sequence dragged out for about two hours, during which time a poorly written executive drama and conflict between two characters is happening on board the Resistance's ship that could've been entirely avoided altogether.
Then we have Rei training with Luke- though I wouldn't exactly call it training. The entire secondary plot on the planet where the Jedi Master is hiding out gives us the golden opportunity to learn about all the events that happened between then and Return of the Jedi, as well as answer the questions as to why he's currently living there and how things had become so chaotic in the galaxy. Sadly, everything Luke has to cover about the Jedi, his motivations, his friends, his adventures after the fall of the Empire, and how his nephew fell to the dark side are shallow, pointless, and- with the film's attempts to subvert expectations- completely goes against his character in every facet. And unlike with Yoda, Rei barely undergoes any sort of training at all and the time she spends on that world is miniscule, before she has to return to her friends in the Resistance. By my estimate, she only spends a total of approximately 8 to 12 in-world hours on that planet- at most. That means the entire story of The Last Jedi takes place in only one day in their universe.
Then we have the entire subplot with Finn, Rose, and BB-8- in which they must ask Naz, who tells them to find a hacker to sneak on board the lead ship, to find the breaker room in order to disable the First Order's abilities to track their friends through hyperspace. Now, not only is this subplot entirely convoluted and highly convenient, but all the scenes taking place on Cantobite- or the "evil capitalist billionaire planet"- are boring and crammed with politics that make no sense in the universe, and are something that no one wants to see in a Star Wars film- at least not in such a haphazard manner. Cantobite is probably the best example of someone trying to be clever when trying to pose a political viewpoint in a science fiction movie yet has absolutely no ability in writing it. It's sloppy and sticks out like a sore thumb- proof that no matter what kind of politics you try to stick into Star Wars, it is destined to crash and burn.
All of these events eventually culminate in a scene on a "Salt Planet" that is totally not a rip-off of The Battle on Hoth in The Empire Strikes Back, as well as a throne room scene that is- shot for shot- both a rip-off of the throne room scene from the Wizard of Oz and the original throne room scene from Return of the Jedi. Both these sequences are not only crammed with plot holes and conveniences, but they all amount to a conclusion that is, for lack of a better term- a great, big letdown.
Now I could spend the next ten thousand words going scene by scene detailing the flaws behind this entire movie. However, since this is supposed to be a quick review, you'll just have to be satisfied with the self-explanatory titbits I'm sprinkling over this essay. And believe me, there's copious amounts of it.
Overall, the entire plot of the movie is poorly planned, tonally disjointed, and horrendously paced, filled with so many conveniences and moments that just make no sense and leave people completely baffled and disappointed at the end. Rian Johnson, who directed and wrote this film, attempted to subvert people's expectations by writing aspects into the movie and create moments in an attempt to surprise the audience. However, not only did all these elements result in nothing (for example, Luke throwing his lightsabre off the cliff, Leia supposedly being killed and then being brought back, Rei's parents being nobodies, Snoke wanting Rei only for Kylo to kill her and finish his training, Poe being the only one wrong about their escape plan, etc.), they also take away any suspense and anticipation within the film, leaving the audience dissatisfied and emotionally unfulfilled. Oh, and these elements also add nothing to the story.
There are also multiple moments within the film where the writer/director demonstrates that he has no idea how to write a pitch appropriate scene. For example, Luke trying to make jokes with Rei during two very sombre moments- both inside the Jedi tree and then over the cliff during her first "training sequence"- were tonally disjointed and detract from the moment the film was trying to establish. With so much drama taking place within the movie, particularly where sombre and tense scenes are supposed to be taking place, and then having humorous moments thrown into them out of nowhere, confuses the audience emotionally, since they have no idea how they should feel. Even during scenes where a joke is supposed to be funny, the audience barely laughed during the event unless they were straight-up slapstick. I remember those moments well since I saw the movie twice in the cinemas and the audience only politely chuckled. This is just a light example of Rian's ineptitude at writing a coherent story that flows tonally.
I already covered how the film was poorly paced by the long chase sequence and how all these events happened in such a short time frame. I also highlighted how the movie's attempts to be clever and subversive were a colossal failure. So, let's get to the conveniences within the film. This movie is haemorrhaging conveniences that I don't even know where to start, which breaks the rules established in the previous films. For example, Rose and Finn get caught, placed in space prison, but then conveniently have a lock breaker in there with them that breaks them out, and doubles as their hacker and also their ride off the planet who doesn't even need to be paid. Convenient. Then there's also the First Order tracking the Rebel ships through hyperspace but being unable to catch them because they are too slow and the rebels are too fast. Convenient. And then there are the plot holes, such as the hyperspace ramming sequence, no use of Y-Wings during the bombing runs despite being shown to be more effective than the bombers they used, the First Order using a device that tracks through hyperspace, Leia using the most powerful force ability demonstrated in the series despite not being properly trained, and so on.
This is only the start- and I haven't even gone into any real depth about the characters yet. And you know what, I don't think I even want to. Rian Johnson has gone to great lengths to ruin every single character in this film that it's just sad talking about them.
Considering the sheer magnitude of screw ups in this film, I can understand how a lot of people have been made upset and angry by how it turned out- myself included. I also heard that whenever the writer/director received these same criticisms from people disappointed or angry at The Last Jedi, his response was to insult them and belittle their genders, class, and intelligence, with the studio itself also using the media in an attempt to justify the quality of this film by saying that everyone is spiteful, sexist, and toxic- when the simple fact is it was poorly made overall. Anyone with a brain can see just how awful this movie actually is and I'd be genuinely surprised if further down the line the studio will continue to defend this travesty of a story. My one and only recommendation to try and fix this mess of a franchise, is to strike both this film and the previous film from canon, and reintroduce the Extended Universe of the Star Wars world back.