Disney's failure is complete ...

Rating: 1/10 (16 December 2017)

The Star Wars franchise finally has it's Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.
The Last Jedi (TLJ) is a deeply flawed and darkly cynical corporate product. TLJ is not a cinematic experience, it is a product meant for consumption and disposal, plain and simple. Like Thor: Ragnarok, there was a reason for the review embargo. Disney and Iger did not want word of mouth to spoil opening day ticket sales.
The last few months of Disney social promotion, press junkets, "leaked" spoilers, propaganda and dare I say, payola, were carefully crafted to blunt word of mouth. Much like the 2016 Presidential election, TLJ will be a challenge to the faith of Star Wars fans much like the current administration is to lovers of democracy.
Yes, TLJ is that bad.
The Director-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, blithely abandons the old Republic serial style of storytelling, brazenly abandons the visual style of seven previous films and two television shows, and inserts the Star Wars DNA only to plug the holes in this creaky, wooden beaver dam of a film. How bad is it?
TLJ is so bad, that anytime someone complains to you about Jar Jar Binks, you'll be able to immediately counter and say ... "I'll see your Jar Jar and raise you Episiode VIII." Where to begin? There's so much fodder that a graduate student of film could write an entire doctoral thesis titled "Poor Filmcraft in 21st Century Cinema, How Profit Trumps Process." Granted, Voldirectormort was handed a tall order to flesh out and explain what the makers of its predecessor in press interviews admittedly could not. It doesn't. Don't believe the marketing hype ... there's nothing of note to spoil. Gone is the classic Greek three act structure. Gone is the rising action. Gone is characters put in jeopardy. Gone is internal logic. Gone are many practical effects. Gone is Star Wars, it is. On its own merits, TLJ is the worst example of 21st Century, Comic Book of the Month Club Cinema. Granted, TLJ has many beautiful shots, but it doesn't have a single scene which has the gravitas of the epic of which it is a part. The plot is a melange of tenuously related scenes driving to a non-existant climax and flaccid denouement. The TLJ's dialogue isn't much better. Gone are the wooden aspects from the prequel trilogy only to be replaced by pedestrian banter. TLJ's greatest sin is that it's boring. By the end of this film, you'll be begging for Palpatine's astro-political machinations. The most fascinating phenomenon of human society is that of The Emperor's Clothes. You see it in the eyes of the actors. I saw it in the eyes of the stunned-into-silence fans leaving the theater. Election Night 2016, Part Deux. I cannot recommend paying to see this film. The success of Star Wars original trilogy is in repeat ticket sales, VHS sales, DVD sales and BluRay sales. TLJ is an expensive straight to video product. Yes, it's that bad. You'll see it in bargain bins at a WalMart near you in the not too distant future.
I recommend that you not pay to see this film. You can find original Netflix, Amazon and Hulu content that's far superior. Not that the major broadcast networks ever air films anymore, but TLJ is so bad I would say wait for it to hit ABC. It's not even Netflix worthy. These are dark, dark times for cinema.
As someone who was there in '77, it's hard for me to say this, but it's time to let Star Wars go. My hope for the Millenial Generation is that some independent radical movie maker comes along and makes for them their generation's King Kong, Gone with the Wind, Wizard of Oz, The Godfather, Jaws or Star Wars. Just let it not be a sequel.