What We Can Expect From Star Wars Episode 9!

Rating: 5/10 (27 December 2017)

To continue the ridiculous character arcs in The Last Jedi, here are my expectations from Disney for Star Wars Episode 9:
1. Low on food and supplies, the 9 remaining Rebels flee to Ahch-To to milk sea cows and catch Porgs for nourishment.
2. Luke, who DIDN'T really disappear into the Force, but rather created a Force Teleport, returns to Tatooine to live in Kenobi's old house and scare sand people for the rest of his life.
3. Princess Leia, stricken with grief from the loss of Han and now her brother Luke (or so she thinks), dies from a broken heart! However, we only get to READ about it in the title crawl for Episode 9!
4. Kylo Ren, decides he can't live without Rey since his Force Touch! Throws Admiral Hux against a wall (again, again and again) and leaves the First Order to search for Rey.
5. Admiral Hux, whose face has been badly scared and injured from Kylo Ren's attacks, takes over as Supreme Leader and his first call to action is to change the name to the Best, VERY Best Empire.
6. Poe realizes his errors and resigns as a X-Wing pilot. Begins a new job in sanitation and contemplates whether or not to tell Finn how he feels about him.
7. Finn, after trying to sacrifice his life to save the resistance (his defining moment was ruined when Rose crashes her pod into his at the last moment), deserts the Rebels via a secret escape pod on the Millennium Falcon and returns to the First Order, only to complete his destiny and become the new Captain Phasma.
8. Chewbecca, removes all the Porgs from the Falcon, and falls in love with Rose, because of her amazing mechanical skills. They take the Falcon and return to Kashyyyk.
9. Rey, returns to Jakku to read the mind of Unkar Platt, and begins her journey in search for her drunk parents on Canto Bight.
10. The young force sensitive boy on Canto, leads a rebellion with more force sensitive kids against their captors to fight for freedom for themselves and the Fathiers.
11. DJ, after becoming a multi-millionaire from turning Finn and Rose over to the First Order, returns to Canto Bight to begin building a better, and I mean a BETTER, and BIGGEST Death Star to date!