It's not Ryan's fault

Rating: 1/10 (6 January 2018)

I went to see The Force Awakens in Hong Kong with my brother. It was going to be the climax of an action-packed holiday. My brother had already seen and enjoyed it back in England, and was eager for me to relive the magic of my youth. I had been primed and was in the mood. We had been to Hong Kong Disneyland and seen unbelievably huge amounts of SW merchandise. Even jewellery stores in Causeway Bay had pricey silver Millenium Falcons for the best part of a hundred pounds -I was tempted but I would wait until the last day, just in case I needed the money later. It was Star Wars mania all over again! And I was 'up for it'! So, off to the cinema we went. The opening credits came up.... Yes, THIS IS STAR WARS! The bombastic Williams' score.... THIS IS STARWARS! And then the rest of the film fell flat on its face! I would've left the cinema were it not for my brother. IT WAS NOT STAR WARS. It had none of the heart of the originals. It's like if Ed Sheeran makes an entire album of Sabbath covers, is it a Sabbath album? No... it's a bloody Sheeran album. I watched The Foreigner with Jackie Chan in mainland China the other day. I was assured it had subtitles since my Chinese is atrocious. It didn't. I would rather sit through that again and barely understand a word than rewatch The Force Awakens. I assumed the sequal couldn't possibly be worse...
The Last Jedi is the equivalent of Stock, Aitkin and Waterman for cinema. It's sole purpose is to generate dollars. It's a money making machine. Ryan may be the greatest director in the world, but he has so many boxes to tick for his overlords than he doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of making a movie with heart. I'm finished with anything which is Disney Star Wars. Kudos to Mark Hamill for calling a spade a spade.