Why The Last Jedi is Junk

Rating: 3/10 (15 April 2018)

I wasn't expecting a lot from this movie. I was worried about what they would do with Luke and Rey and Snoke and everyone else. I worried about a lot of things, and every worry I had was fulfilled in full, glorious technicolor from Perfect Rey to Sulkey Luke.

Why didn't Purple Hair Admiral tell Poe her plan, even after he stormed the room and demanded answers? The crew deserved to know the plan at that point, like Poe said, but she dug in her heels and for some reason didn't tell him. And then reasonably Poe issued a mutiny, an act that could have been completely avoided if Purple Hair would have swallowed her pride and told everyone the plan.
Snoke is one of the most confusing things to happen in the entire Star Wars era. He appears suddenly in The Force Awakens, and dies just as suddenly in the next movie. Any potential he had was wasted.
One of the worst flaws of the movie - the character of Luke was destroyed mercilessly. He had a terrible experience and then moped for years on an island, an island he claimed he wanted no one to find but for some reason he gave R2D2 a map, so, what's up with that... And worse, he didn't seem to show any remorse that he ran away and pouted on an island for years while the Resistance suffered. And then he died, but don't worry, it was with "peace and purpose" and all that mumbo jumbo so we don't have to feel badly about it. I am so done.
The Force was butchered in the movie. The whole live-Skype thing going on with Rey and Kylo was kind of odd, especially when finding out Snoke instigated it. Of course then you have the water on Kylo's glove, which is kind of weird, but not as weird as Yoda calling lightning down from the sky and then cackling like a lunatic. I literally thought it was a dream sequence, or maybe Kylo was appearing as Yoda. Both the lightning and the laugh deserved to be scribbled over with a red pen.
The entire bridge of a ship was destroyed and everyone died - except for Princess Leia, of course, who Mary Poppinsed her way back to the ship, floating around in space, and was somehow able to open her eyes without them immediately freezing over. Fans will insist it was because she was "strong with the Force", but this is, again, a discrepancy with the whole Force thing - the Force is not life support. It doesn't make you immortal and it doesn't make you fly. The whole clip was weird and very cringey.
Rey has one three-minute Jedi training session that makes her as skilled as a fully-trained Jedi master.
There is so much violence and unnecessary killing in this movie you'll feel like taking a shower after the credits come on.
The movie feels like ten hours long, or maybe twelve, because the plot drags like nothing else in the middle. There were a lot of cringe-worthy moments sprinkled throughout, with useless storylines (Rose and Finn) and another long, winding shot around Luke's island.
It repeated several things from the original trilogy (like that "You still have light in you!" conversation between Rey and Kylo), a fad continued on from The Force Awakens. With their 200M budget, it's hard to think they didn't get any writers who could think of an original idea without it being totally lame.
The character of Princess Leia was entirely boring. 90% of her role was sitting around somewhere looking disturbed. She didn't really do anything, and her acting sometimes resembled a cardboard cutout's.

Overall incredibly depressed with this movie. It wasn't all bad - Poe was AWESOME, for instance - but there were enough flaws and holes to wonder how all the writers, directors, and producers managed to blow 200M dollars on a mediocre Star Wars movie (mediocre is a generous word for it). Of course they made their money back at the box office, but I wonder how many true fans they disappointed and how many people they sent away saddened by the now deadness of the Star Wars universe.