The most illogical plot i have seen in a while, without any nuance and epicness that characterizes STAR WARS

Rating: 2/10 (18 December 2017)

Ok, its hard for me to write this review. Its really hard for me to dislike a STAR WARS movie, i am somewhat positively biased against STAR WARS. The first time i saw the movie at the premier i was stunned, and shocked on how poorly written and how ridiculous the plot is, i however, hoped that in a second viewing i would come around and like the movie just a little bit more, so i could forgive the poor story choices. But in my second viewing i noticed much more writing and creative decisions that dont´t make any sense, story-wise, character-wise, logic-wise, starwars universe-wise. Lets start with the good things.
THE GOOD: The technical aspects of the movie are really great, the cinematography and the visual effects are incredible. This movie plays with the color palette and its balance, to a beautiful degree. Also the score its amazing, JOHN WILLIAMS is awesome, and it shows. They way sound mixing and editing blends with the score is jaw dropping. The lightsaber sound effects is a little off, but is nothing major. Now my only gripe with the sound effects is the manner in which Kylo Ren mask sounds, its terribly off.
THE BAD: ALMOST everything else. The story is beyond LOGIC for me. Its like if MILLENIALS teens were behind ALL the story decisions in this movie. Its incredible the amount of forcing a viewer has to do to make SOME sense out of the illogical storyline.
Right in the start they show you the tone of the movie that will be along the 2.5 hr feature. Its unfathomable , for me at least, that a FIRST ORDER "GENERAL" will not engage fire on a ENEMY fighter in attack mode, possessing the highest and most skilled pilot of the RESISTANCE. I mean in FA they did blow up planets with millions of innocent people just to decimate the resistance, and in here you hesitate to BLOW UP the highest and most skilled pilot of the resistance. no, no just no. Then, right after that, why in the world (or galaxy) would they not put any SHIELD to the MOST ADVANCED AND DEADLY attack ship in their arsenal, it just doesnt make any sense. STORY WISE it doesnt make any sense, along with the incredible fact that in space, there is no gravity, how in the heck, did the bombs go vertically down directly into the spaceship, they didnt even bother explaining that.
In almost every scene of the movie, there is a sense that the writers and director decided to defy logic and common sense purposely, just why??? I know for a fact that this movie will not held to scrutiny in the future, specially when the BLURAY comes. Watching scene by scene is painful, if any other movie made this, CRITICS would shred it to pieces, but because its STAR WARS and disney. They suddenly lower the standards to the movie, and forgive all the plot missteps and llogical nonsense.
Other aspect, is how the characterize LUKE SKYWALKER. I don´t mind him being and old and scared, and cowardly against everything he stood up for, JUST GIVE ME A LOGICAL EXPLANATION for this. Right off the start, he throws his DAD´s lightsaber to a cliff, WHAT?? Does this play in the same universe emotionally and logicaly??? It was his DAD´s lightsaber, the one he heroically saved from the EVIL SIDE and died in his arms. Wouldn't he at least show some interest on the memento of his father´s main piece of history. Why throw it for a laugh? its really cheap and bad writing, PRACTICALLY ANYTHING would have been better. He then accepts to train REY without any emotional scene about it, just a cheap scene reminding how he helped LEIA in the first film. WHY in the world would REY be capable of beating LUKE with the force and throw him to the floor. I mean she of course force grabs the lightsaber, and LUKE force grabs an antenna?? WTF. It just doesnt make any sense. LUKE character is really miles off of what he should represent, and there is no logical explanation behind it. The poor explanation is that he failed his nephew student because he sense "some" weird darkness in his sleep and hesitated to kill him. WHAT? Its just lazy and poor writing all around, it has no emotional resonance or anything. before he saved his EVIL DAD against the odds and faced the most evil person in the galaxy just to vindicate his FATHER, he was willing to sacrifice himself and face death just to see his dad becomes who he once was. Here, he tried to KILL his nephew because he sense some darkness in his dreams? ( i mean everyone from time to time, dreams about darkness). There is no in between, if you sense darkness in somebody, you open dialog with them, talk to his parents, but no, the only explanation in TLJ is to avoid talking any sense into the other person, and kill him. Also why did this point KYLO into the dark-side, for me its not enough, he saw his master tried to kill him in his sleep, just because of that, you instantly decide to abandon everything you stand for, kill your peers in rage, and go with SNOKE. Come on. Even then, i was like ok, this is poor writing, but if they vindicate look or go full selfish mode with him, and completely disregard the force, but no, WEIRD YODA appears, telling LUKE basically that he has learned nothing and REY already knows everything, with just 2 lessons. Also, how did YODA managed to from the beyond call lighting from the sky and incinerate and empty tree. Is he full god now?, why doesnt he appear other places, and incinerates everyone else posing a threat to everything he stands for. Its just very messy storytelling.
The space chase is also very thin and ridiculous, time will give people the opportunity to really question RIAN JOHNSON logic behind this. Its just shows the cartoonish incompetence in the first order, its almost like a parody on how to do everything wrong if you want to eliminate your enemy, the problem is that is not funny. There are INFINITE ways the FIRST ORDER vessels could have managed this situation. There were are at least 3-4 ships, added to that of SNOKE´S planet sized ship. and why in the heck, dont they simply allow a single STAR DESTROYER to warp speed ahead of the resistance convo, and attack from different sides. Or even better, if you can now WARP ATTACK into VESSEL, why wouldn't they sacrifice one star destroyer that would go full warp speed and destroyed the resistante once for all. IF YOU TAKE THE MOVIE scene by scene, and really dissect it, you would see that it doesnt make any sense, unless you are child, or blind because of the STAR WARS love. This movie actually feels like a parody of SW. And the character assasination is not only exclusive to OLD TRILOGY, but to new interesting characters. SNOKE, for example, was shown to be incredibly force-powerful, he did manage to force pull a person in hologram mode, probably millions lights year away. He managed light struck KYLO REN into air, with his fingers. He managed to stablish a really complex bond between his apprentice KYLO and a person he didnt physically know, he didnt know about her location. He managed to see into REY´S mind, a person, he really didnt meet or know, because apparently she is from knowhere. He sees and feels everyhing surrounding him, yet HE WAS NOT ABLE to hear or sense, or see the SQUEAKY ROTATING LIGHTSABER placed a few centimeters from HIM. That is really just cynical. There is only one explanation, or the writers think that the audience is really dumb, or they are really poor writers. KYLO being able to use the force like he did in FA, he suddenly forgets about them, and melee fights the imperial guards, that just incredible. EVERY decision in this movie, cannot withhold the test of logic and storytelling.
I will not delve into the subside quest, while i believe is rather force and pointless, i did enjoyed the politicals themes brought upon in this plot. I mean evil and good really is blurred sometimes, and money plays a powerful force in the world and in this world. I am upset that storytelling is left to die in the process. Also, the animal cruelty with the horse like creatures and the cute porg scene for me specially is a right choice. I enjoyed seeing that. Also that greatness can come from anywhere, a la ratatouille, is brilliant. Its so true, there are some elements to it, that did resonated with me i rather enjoyed.
I dont have a problem with REY being from nowhere, in fact, i think is BRILLIANT, it would have been one of the greatest story parts of the new starwars saga, if it wasnt handled so POORLY here. First in FA they did convinced that are something special to rey and her origin. They even hinted a scene when he touches the lightsaber, and you can hear OBI WANS and YODAs voice in this scene. And she seems to really dont know who they parents are. But in TLJ, apparently she has had known the whole time that she knowed her parents were NOBODIES and trade her for money, and she was rather conflicted by it with this past of her. But they didn't show that in FA, she doesn't seem that conflicted, they didnt explore this enough to carry emotional resonance to the moment. Its just very disappointing the way they handled story lines here. Its totally incoherent from film to film.
There are many other things that left me really dissapointed, i will finish with the last scene. I mean, how in the heck did ROSE managed to turbo-boost herself meters ahead of FINN, and struck him from the side, he was clearly ahead of everyone else. This in a nutshell is the movie, nothing makes sense.
To end the movie on the lowest note, they expects us the audience to believe, that KYLO REN didn't notice that LUKE was carrying the very same LIGHTSABER he just DESTROYED minutes ago, how in the heck KYLO REN didn't notice this,Also, LUKE´s lack of footprints also gave away that something was wrong. Anyway this movie is an incoherent mess, where logic goes to die, and story telling is thin and without emotion. I am really torn on how this movie turn out to be. There are many other things i didnt like, there are some things i did like. But its appalling how bad it is.