What was that.....

Rating: 3/10 (19 December 2017)

I'm confused on what I just saw. It's taken me a few days to write this review because I've gone back and forth with reviewing a Star Wars film badly, but it needs to be done. "The Last Jedi" was by far the worst "Star Wars" film I have ever seen, if it can even be called that. I'll start with the beginning of the film. It began much like many Star Wars movies do, a big grand space battle. My expectations were high and this beautifully filmed battle met those expectations.... until the most cringeworthy comedy I've ever seen. This began the downfall of this movie. Poe decides to have silly banter with General Hux (our big bad Tarkin like figure) and it comes off ridiculous. The joke brought laughs, but it had absolutely no place within the Star Wars universe. Never would Tarkin have been made fun of in such a way. Why now is the First Order used as a punching bag for terrible jokes? Shouldn't they be even more feared than the Galactic Empire? This scene was terrible, but it was hopefully just a one off right? Nope. So the resistance ships proceed to jump to hyperspace and evade their enemies only to....not evade their enemies? When could a ship ever track something from hyperspace? This part is fine though as in Rouge One this detail is actually said to be in development by the galactic empire so okay, this works, but what follows next does not. The First Order ships (and there's many) are not able to destroy the Resistance Ships because of the shields. And so begins the slowest chase in a movie. The First Order ships obviously could have moved faster to make the Resistance ships lose fuel faster but this is not done. Kylo Ren along with other pilots fly into battle in an effort for Kylo to prove his evil to Supreme Leader Snoke and murder his own mother. This doesn't happen and what happens next is inexcusable. A First Order pilot is the one that pulls the trigger to blow up the Command room of the Resistance Ship housing fan favorites Admiral Ackbar and General Leia Organa. This seems perfectly done. It shows Kylo is still heavily conflicted while also dealing with Carrie Fisher's untimely demise in a near perfect fashion story-telling wise and dispatching Ackbar. The audience then sees Leia's body floating in space and it is a haunting scene that carries emotional weight....until she moves. As a viewer, I was so confused. I prayed they weren't about to do what I thought they might. Then Rian Johnson proved me so wrong. Leia literally uses the Force to pull herself into the ship in the worst scene I've ever seen. This coming after she should have been blown to pieces by a massive explosion and then blown up due to being in the middle of space. They wasted this perfect opportunity to dispatch Leia and lost all emotional weight as the audience went "Oh well Um I guess she's alive?". It was ridiculous. We then go to the island planet that we last see Rey at during the ending scene of the Force Awakens and at this point an already sour taste is in most of the audiences mouth who is a Star Wars fan. Rey hands Luke the lightsaber and he then throws it behind him in a clear comedic fashion yet again. Sadly the comedy gets even worse. We then see Luke as he spears for fish, drinks green milk directly from the teets of an alien, and walks up and down a mountain. Sounds as good as Yoda at Dagaboh huh? After this, Luke finally talks to Rey. Mark Hamill performed amazing here with his terrible lines given to him, but he did not feel like the Luke of old. It isn't even a matter of "Oh well Luke can change, he's years older", this felt like a different character entirely. That's the problem. Not a change, but a powerful deviation. I've seen many reviews that say it's only fans that didn't like it and that's actually accurate, it's fans because the characters lost their true emotion and the trueness that made them so memorable in the beginning. Rian Johnson lost this completely. He lost the feel of Star Wars. Rey and Kylo establish an interesting dynamic with them being able to form a connection with the Force and this is actually interesting and a cool take on the whole Force communication. This connection provides Rey with the idea that Kylo still has the old Ben Solo still within him, but Luke sees this and freaks out. The audience then comes to find out the true story of Luke and Kylo. Luke thought about murdering Kylo and actually pulled a lightsaber on him while he slept only to decide against giving the killing blow. This is more of the same, Luke not acting like Luke. This is supposed to be the main reason that Kylo turns evil, but this shouldn't have even happened. Luke fought to save his father because he sensed he had a little good left within him, but one hint of darkness in his own Nephew is where he draws the line? Give me a break. After this scene and the island, the movie goes back to the First Order and Resistance in their slow chase. Vice Admiral Holdo is now in charge and is clearly the foil to Poe and acts as if there is not a plan and they are only giving up (this becomes important later). Poe disagrees and contacts Maz (who is in this movie for almost no reason) who says they must go get a Master Codebreaker so that a plan thought out by Finn and a random mechanic named Rose can happen. Finn and Rose must now travel to Canto Bight to find this codebreaker. Much like a video game, this is a pointless side quest to get to the main quest of boarding the First Order ships and turning their tracker off. This whole side story bogged down everything. The planet of Canto Bight possesses no emotion. It seems to only be there as a social commentary on war. That isn't what audiences come to see. They come to be taken away by a sprawling world. Suffice it to say, the whole scene ends with them finding a codebreaker, but not the one that they originally came for. They then escape Canto Bight on big horse aliens with the help of stable children. This whole thing takes about 20 minutes and it it 20 minutes too long. Rey has now decided to go find Kylo and talk him into joining the light. She is captured by his ship and taken directly to the Supreme Leader. This scene is the best of the entire movie as Supreme Leader Snoke possesses that same awe that came with seeing the Emperor for the first time in Return of the Jedi. He was powerful and evil and so well done.....then he died. Like that. 10 minutes and he was sliced in half by a lightsaber that was not even wielded, but turned on a chair by Kylo Ren with the Force. The big bad was now gone and had gone out in an even more embarrassing way than the fan favorite Darth Maul. At least Darth Maul fought two Jedi in being bested, Snoke sat in his chair and died. Snokes guards then attack Kylo and Rey in a very cool scene, but the power of this scene was overshadowed by what had just occurred with Snoke. It seemed as if Rian Johnson had no interest in revealing Snokes backstory or keeping him around. The movie then does the same disservice to Captain Phasma and it seems like a cop out. The movie then reveals that Holdo had a plan to move all the Resistance members aboard shuttles to fly down to Crait. Why wouldn't she have just told Poe this and avoided the whole Finn/ Rose quest and avoid a mutiny on the ship. It was a time filler and it was just dumb. It makes no sense. Finally, everyone is now down on Crait. The First Order and Resistance are doing battle again....for..the..third..time. It feels so overused because the audience has seen the same battle now three times in the same film. First order has a big cannon, The Resistance has to take it out. Sound familiar? The planet of Crait is beautiful and unique, but we only see a little bit of it as battle starts. The First Order is winning the battle easily until Luke Skywalker shows up. He comes out and faces the First Order and Kylo tells the First Order to fire every piece of artillery at Luke. Luke is left unscathed and Kylo then comes down to meet him in battle. This is another beautifully filmed scene, but it is found that Luke is just Force projecting himself there as he sits atop his rock at his island home. This seems like just a gotcha moment from the director, but makes no sense. Why wouldn't Luke actually battle Kylo? Even if Kylo won, it would make him seem very powerful and dangerous. Instead Kylo fits a projection and the fight feels lame. Luke then dies. From nothing really it seems. They kill off the best Star Wars hero not in a battle, but on a rock by himself. It could not have been a worse way to send Luke out. The Resistance then escapes by the Millennium Falcon flown by Rey and the movie feels over until one last scene of a stableboy making a broom fly into his hand due to the force and staring into the night sky. Boom. Movie over. This was not a Star Wars film. This was a good scfi film, but not a good Star Wars film. It lacked heart, it lacked emotion, and most of all it lacked common sense. It was filled with terrible comedy, stupid plot holes, and an underwhelming sequence of events. The Last Jedi is a terrible Star Wars movie and it's hard to say because I love Star Wars and always have. This just wasn't Star Wars. Period.