Pretty Poor

Rating: 4/10 (14 December 2017)

This was a pretty poor effort for a Star Wars film, probably the worst I have seen, bar the holiday special. It strayed too far from the original Star Wars formula, the things that made the films great, and as a result it just didn't fit in that universe for me.
It tried to be a hammy comedy where every second comment or reaction was an opportunity for a gag. The original trilogy got the comedy moments perfectly balanced, with just the odd throw away comment or expression from Han that kept it suitably light and entertaining. We didn't need a joke or cheap one-liner every other sentence. I actually felt like they put pauses in to let the jokes sink in for the slower members of the audience, who I really felt this film was really aimed at.
Hux was a buffoon, consistently incompetent and not plausable as a ranking member of the order (influenced by Boris Johnson no doubt), that introduction to him falling for a crank call would have been more in place at Moe's tavern, not saying it wasn't funny but it killed the Star Wars vibe before it had even developed. When the bad guys consist of an idiot, a whiny teenager and a man made of used chewing gum, who dies half way through, it doesn't seem like there is a lot for the goodies to stress about beyond their own incompetence.
Another great thing about the original Star Wars trilogy was the pacing, a little action here, a little plot development there, build the pace up to the action scene, bring it back down again. They were pretty masterfully paced, few films can match them, and this one certainly didn't. It dived straight into the action with a space battle in scene one, and basically never slowed down again. They literally dived from one action scene to the next throughout the whole film, with only the Luke and Rey scenes giving any change of pace, a beautiful balance of manic and boring. They should probably have made this over two or three movies, to get it all in with proper pacing, character development and a storyline that makes you care, or better yet, just not bothered.
There was lot's of action in this film, far more than the original movies, mostly in that matrix style with zooms and slow mo bend backwards to dodge lightsabers type fight sequences, which were already getting old fashioned by the late 90s. They can still look good if done subtly, but these, like so much in this film, were not subtle, they just seemed to be in there as if someone was working through a checklist of things that make a movie good. A checklist that lacks anything to do with storyline.
Eventually when it came to the end I was actually quite pleased. Then it didn't end, after the finale there was another action scene, followed by a finale, then another action scene, then...I was getting pretty desperate for it to end by then, it just dragged on.
Final note, there was a bit of cuteness overload. We can't say that teh original trilogy didn't have that, Ewoks anyone? But it was a bit too much merchandising. For the young kids we had little things that are a cross between a guinnie-pig and a penguin, and for the slightly older kids foxes made of crystal-meth, or something like that. Anyway blatant merchandising opportunities.
In summary...not much to say, I love Star Wars, but this one was pretty *****.