What it needed to be

Rating: 8/10 (22 December 2015)

Star Wars: The Force Awakens is a big movie. It spans galaxies and multiple planets, pulls all of the right fanboy levers, and envelops you in a familiarity and comfort like diving head-first into a vat of mashed potatoes. The only piece lacking is an original plot, because nearly every major plot point is shamelessly taken from other Star Wars movies, if only to make sure no one will hate the new J.J. Abrams attempt.
We get a droid with a secret hologram, a villain who is nowhere near as evil or compelling as Darth Vader, a rust-bucket Millennium Falcon (with a Chewie and a Han), a cantina scene filled with wild and wacky aliens, a Death Planet that destroys planets (and suns), a projected evil supreme leader who looks old and creepy, a final desperate attack to save the planet of the good guys, and enough side characters and Easter eggs to fill a toy chest and speculative blogs.
We are left to wonder such serious questions like:
How did C-3PO get that funny red arm? Max von Sydow got the short straw, didn't he? Why is Kylo Ren so snotty? Is Supreme Leader Snoke actually a Harry Potter reject? Is Kenny Baker inside R2-D2? When will the Empire learn to build Death Stars without critical weaknesses which are easily exploited by a few well-placed explosives or laser strikes? Who is Chewbacca's hairdresser? What is a Kardashian? I keed, I keed.
The movie is highly entertaining, and it's pretty much non-stop fun with a well-timed slice of intrigue or plot movement. I don't think there are really any critical spoilers that would ruin seeing the movie. I am guessing the big ones are that no one knows where Luke is (revealed in the first few minutes), Kylo Ren is actually Ben Solo and wants to be more powerful than Darth Vader (good luck, you petulant little chucklehead), Kylo kills Han in one of the most telegraphed moments in movie history (Rosebud being a sled in the top spot on that list), and Rey has a lot of force in her and might be the daughter of Han or Luke (or maybe even Admiral Akbar).
It looks like we'll be having a lot of Star Wars fun for a very long time.