EPISODE I Syndrome - A Spoilers Full Review

Rating: 3/10 (20 December 2015)

I'm surprised by the absolute lack of objectivity for the review of this movie. What I see here with many other Star Wars fans in these days is some sort of ''Episode I's Syndrome'', when everyone was trying to convincing themselves that the movie was good, even better than the originals! Maybe when the euphoria wears off, and you watch this movie a couple years down the road, you will see it for what actually is, a completely forgettable film with poor storytelling and horrible pacing.
THE MOVIE
I'm not some closed minded hater. I went into this film like most Star Wars fans, hoping for something fresh, something to bring back the original spark and excitement of Star Wars after the prequels. I sat down in the theater with an open heart and mind, gushing with excitement and optimism. I left feeling like a cruel trick had been played on me. I left actually missing the genuine heart and love for these characters and this saga, admittedly not always with the most finesse and appeal, that George Lucas always displayed.
This is a high budget fan film at best. At worst it's an exploitation of something many people hold near and dear to their hearts and that's simply a shame. Abrams is not the worst producer in the business, but he sure is a lousy storyteller. Just about all the basics of how to weave together a narrative are absent here. You can feel the insecurity and willingness to compromise in every scene, and no character, conflict or theme really gets enough attention to become compelling, which is a shame because the performers here are all talented and likable. Lucas wasn't much of a writer, that's for sure, but he pursued his vision with passion and creativity. Abrams is more engineer than artist. He's just checking off boxes.
They certainly did a good job with the puppets and the overall aesthetic of the world, but in the story there were no crescendos of emotion invoked at all, the plot is riddled with holes and uses simply ridiculous devices to bring characters together and move things forward, there is no character development at all. Relationships are hastily propped up and splinter like a mast made of toothpicks and glue. Any intended emotional impact falls utterly flat. If this movie made you cry, you are delusional and numb to real feeling, I'm sorry. Star Wars The Force Awakens joins the ranks of Avengers, Guardian of the Galaxy films etc etc by being flashy, trite, drivel that Hollywood big shots know fans will gobble up in a hype induced stupor.
The whole movie is basically a cheap ripoff of episode 4 mashed up with other elements from episodes 4 and 5. The plot devices used are almost identical:
1) Peasant teen in the desert 2) Droid that needs to get something to someone 3) Empire looks for the droid in the desert 4) Droid being captured by indigenous aliens 5) Finding a mentor and leaving the planet in Millennium Falcon (in reversed order here) 7) Discover of a huge battle station that can potentially destroy entire planets 8) Admiral ''It's a trap'' explain how to deactivate the shields of the huge battle station 9) Han Solo deactivates the shields of the battle station 6) Mentor dies (killed by wannabe Darth Vader) 10) The destruction of the battle station at the hands of shooting down a tunnel with an X- wing.
Other characters and situations recycled in this movie:
Luke Skywalker → Rey R2-D2 → BB-8 Emperor → Supreme Leader Yoda → Maz Kanata Grand Moff Tarkin → General Hux Darth Vader → Kylo Ren Boba Feth → Captain Phasma
Mos Eisley Cantina / Jabba's Castle → Maz Kanata's Castle Dagobah's Cave of Evil → Dungeon of Maz Kanata's Castle Death Star → Star Killer Base Alderaan → Coruscant (?) ''I'm your father stuff'' → we have actually two here..