Bleebeedee Blup

Rating: 2/10 (21 September 2016)

Bleebeedee bleebeedeeshtoingblip, I am a baseball with a soup bowl on it, clingbleepbleebeedukshtoomp. My master is a resourceful human female with a argumentative and poorly coordinated black sidekick. Kluk. She lives in a dangerous environment where everything is blown up to pieces all the time. I find myself being a target for villains of the First Order, so she is too. Didoodidoodidoowizzz.
After yet something else explodes she meets Mr Han Solo. He also has a sidekick, Mr Chewbacca, who resents to always be bottom. Me would have though that with such a name Mr Solo would have prefer using his own hand to topping a furry creature. Widooyoobeepboodiblurp?
The bad guys are everywhere. They are in the walls! They have scary dialogue like "Oversee preparation. Yes Supreme Leader!". Bloogy bool? It's confusing, Kilo, Mr Solo's son, is with the Supreme Leader, human family being such an enigma Bedooglorgle, didooglurpshtoing, or as Mr Chewbacca would put it succintly, "Grooooooar!".
Me don't get either the human urge to go to taverns where they ingest barely cooked weird food, like they do in fantasy series with dragons and many banquets. Gluckeewoodoolidoopop! Everything looks dirty, but the storm troopers' white armour is always spotless.
Didoodidoodidoobleepdoolooloobleep, a planet just has been destroyed. Mr Solo likes to try Mr Chewbacca's toys. Me is confused. An now there is a woman, Mrs Organa, with other droids. She apparently mothered Kilo, but that was a long time ago so she should have lost weight by now. Bleebeedeeblup?
The black sidekick is ogling a pilot who lets him keep his jacket because "it suits you". I can't understand humans. Bleeeeeep bleeeeeep bleeeeeeep.
Auto-destruction programme initiated.
Bleebeedee boooooooom.
After one explosion woke one up, one was drawn to the conclusion that one has slept during the rest of the bleedepeblup.