puddu!

Rating: 1/10 (5 June 2016)

Warning, spoilers.
So, the movie started off well enough, but that ended the moment the two main characters escape back to the planet they came from, so, what, 20 minutes in? The new shi... i mean sith... Kylo Ren, is RIDICULOUS, actually laugh-out-loud funny.
As long as he kept the mask on, he was not too bad except for watching him stomp, stomp, stomp around with that awful, gangly, shoulder-swaying walk of his; but once he took off the mask i actually burst into laughter. This movie takes the prize for the absolutely top, can't-be-beaten miscast actor since the introduction of talkies. this is not hyperbole, look for the character reveal online and judge for yourselves.
In any case: the sawed-off with the bad teeth was "Darth Maul", Backstabicus Palpatine was "Darth Sidious", Dookie The Shi... Sith i mean, SITH.. was "Darth Tyranus", "Mannequin" Skywalker of the sinful children was "Darth Vader", the logical progression is that Kylo Ren will become "Darth Gooph"...
Interesting that it's a different galaxy, with a different language (seen on screen) that we hear as English for convenience, yet all these names as well as those of several jedi, are either drawn from Latin or typical human (that is, terran) concepts.
Kylo Ren aside, the movie was VERY, VERY LONG indeed, and quite tiresome, since the only action worth watching can be compressed in less than 30 minutes - having said that, note that those 30 minutes are of the usual high standard for Star Wars cinematography and effects.
Even the obligatory lightsaber battle, the highlight and redemption of even the worst Star Wars movies up to this point, was in fact boring and unlikely. An experienced powerful sith, titled "Master of the Knights of Ren" (whoever or whatever they should eventually turn out to be) that gets wounded by a soldier with no training and 2 minutes of practical lightsaber experience? and then defeated, badly wounded and nearly killed by someone who's never even held a lightsaber before? Preposterous.
Lucas really needed to step away from all things Star Wars, and i am truly glad he did. between the constantly dropping quality of the script for each new release and the constant - constant - manipulation of old material, the series had become a constantly evolving bad joke.
When the franchise was sold to Disney i rejoiced, i'm a longtime star wars fan (saw the theatrical release of the 1st movie - a new hope - at a cinema when i was 12) and i had so hoped that in somebody else's hands we would finally begin to see some decent plot lines, or failing that, at least nothing approaching that wind-up of a movie: "Revenge of the Sith" with its annoying plot about over-the-top, childishly obvious yet -incredibly- successful pantomime style manipulation.
Unfortunately i forgot that whoever sits at the helm, it's still the same Hollywood money-making machine, and we are their walking wallets.
Avoid like the Plagueis.