The masterpiece of George Lucas

Rating: 1/10 (8 February 2016)

For one moment I had hoped that God stopped antagonizing me and that all the fakes and lunatics get felled now. But it is even better! In a genius stroke of how to save the Movie Industry a Star Wars Mastermind just did the most simple thing: He announced a new movie, which actually never existed, and hyped it until all the pirate pages were eager to go for it.
The needed loot, the supposed movie, was most probably mixed by some old Computer using existing Star Wars Material and Fan-Art.
So while a handful of Nerds are heartbroken and disillusioned the great scheme succeeded. George Lucas saved us all from the money in our pockets. ;-) Aright, I mean he outwitted piracy and saved Hollywood.
I know terms like erratic or drug-wrecked. But this is another disease. It is the loss of realism which only someone undeserving of the money and high lifestyle can degenerate into. It is one of the clear signs that another 'once-great' is decades behind in saying goodbye and making place for the real talents of the present.
But let me mention one honest good fact, too: The trailers of the movie all bluffed us into thinking there could at least be justified expectation of Standard Star Wars... He, he, wrong! When I read that it scored only one third of the 'Kung Fu Panda 3' audience, I still doubted it.
Story: The First Order tries to stabilize the galaxy, but is somehow 'Too-Nazi', so the rebellion follows a handful of instant-heroes to spoil their brand new Death-Star idea. Yeah, easily malfunctioning super-weapon the villain totally relies on, but not, as if Darth Vader had made exactly that mistake 30 years ago! The rest is mostly characters from the older parts being pathos-phishing on the runaway new cast. Oh, and the Death of Han Solo, who was actually just a retarded old man due performance of Harrison Ford. The final then is She-Jedi youngster returns the light-saber to Luke Skywalker, who once more had abandoned his friends and the rebellion to bath in self-pity.
Cast: The half-starved Chic is the Jedi-Update. Formerly Jedi had to train, study, and meditate for years. She just rolls her eyes alike a cat getting strangulated and unleashes whatever force-power she needs. Cool, and totally compatible with the rest of the Jedi.
Valorous Dude, the deserting Stormtrooper. He meets the chic after freaking out about stormtroopers butchering a village full of unarmed non-combatants. He treats her like a Parrish Priestess, and delivers Luke Skywalker's old light-saber to her. And he works hard to shun from battle.
The Droid in white and orange: Acting like a copy of R2D2, having the same 'carry hidden data' background, and being eager to get the attention of his predecessor. Artificial and shallow like all the roles.
But my really most beloved shot was that Darth Whoever takes off that helmet and looks, as if he can't await to get back to that 'Game of Thrones' Casting! Yeah, and he killed Han Solo.