Episode IV Remade In JJ's Image

Rating: 5/10 (17 December 2015)

After so many years of waiting it is a thrill to inject into the arm a new film in the franchise. The ST: TFA fix is short lived. Like a sugar rush. Inexorably, time ticks on. The high subsides and one is left, well, empty.
It's difficult to imagine all the talent in H'Wood and beyond combined their creative juices to make this very familiar tasting drink. In fact, it's Episode IV Cola in a new, politically correct container. Wait! At the helm, JJ Abrams, rapist of the Star Trek franchise and all-around hack. That explains it.
SW: TFA is too long, too homage-y (was there really a reason to crank up the chess game on the Falcon?), and absent an original idea for your pleasure. Thank the Maker there were no Jar Jars. That's not exactly high praise. Why exactly does Kylo Ren wear a Vaderesque mask? Mr. V's mask was utilitarian. Questions as these seep in while scanning for the Civic in the parking lot.
Cynics crow SW: TFA is a money making machine. Rabid fans stand ready to eviscerate those not drinking the Kool Aid. More moderate fans might pine for the time their virgin eyes watched desperate Luke consider his future in the twins setting before him on the sandy horizon to John William's brilliant score. Those who venerate will. Those who grew up in the flickering light of the preceding trilogies might take pause and remember. Remember.
Sure it was fun. Glad to see some of the old crew again. There was emotion and humor. Too, there was promise. It evaporated like an ice cube in the Tattoine desert. For that, Mr. Abrams, you will not be forgiven. Place your voodoo doll of Abrams for Ep VII next to Lucas' doll for Eps I and II. Feel free to stick pins at your convenience.
Some films become cultural touchstones. "Star Wars: A New Hope" is one. SW: TFA is not. It's just another film. Perhaps the failure is the audience. With lofty expectation there's bound to be disappointment. Maybe not. SW: TFA wrought heartache.