Well another kind of review

Rating: 1/10 (29 December 2015)

Well here is another kind of review....it contains some "quality" related spoilers but nothing about the actual story ....so its your choice to continue reading it or not.... I will take a different road in reviewing this movie ....after watching it this is *mine* how "The Force Awakens" was made...
It all starts in a far far galaxy thousands of years ago...well scrap this ...probably it starts...in the office of a clever dude ...who... has some financial issues...maybe a bad divorce...or a lousy stock choice...either way he want's to make money...a lot of money ....a lot lot of money and preferably fast....
Probably he was lying in his big chair...thinking and rethinking how he could make money....and suddenly it struck him....maybe he saw a Star Wars sticker somewhere or a kid running wearing a Darth Vader mask...either way he had a Greeeaaaattt idea....lets make a new Star Wars movie....hey he wants money so lets make it dead "cheap"...so either way he gets rich....
I am "writing" the steps he followed :
Step 1 : Somewhere there are the old sets/stuff from Episode 4,5,6...gathering dust (a lot of dust)...so it would cost pennies to get them....now we have a solid base...
Step 2 : The one and only Super Star is contacted and a logical fee is agreed...the Star agrees....this is probably the most costly part of the whole endeavor
Step 3 : The rest of the original Star Wars stars are much cheaper and would be more than great to remember their youth....
Step 4 : From a local agency he finds some actors...nothing fancy as long they can perform....
Step 5 : Some computer animators that will work a bit in order to produce some kind of CGI ....nothing extreme ...just copy paste the old scenes but convert them to digital....cheap....in order to keep the cost minimum the old stuff will be 3D scanned and altered a bit so that they look like "new" .. (thankfully some 3d modelers were found that made wonders with the scans and a young man with great texturing skills was discovered...the result was great and it took only few days )
Step 6 :Some support crew to build some extra sets...as long the budget is kept to bare minimum....thankfully the forests/desert/lakes//snow are free of charge....what a relief
Step 7 : A script writer that probably never had any association to the Star Wars myth...probably he is a Trekkie but the main fact is that he is cheap and he knows how to produce a script that won't blow the budget.....remember the old sets,the cheap CGI....keeps his fingers crossed that he won't write anything fancy.....(later on a rumor circulated that he was caught in numerous occasions cheating...and that was not the tragic part.... even the stuff he copied he was doing them all wrong....)
Step 8 : Some new ideas were needed...after all we need to create some fuss...wait he knows a man who has a lot of fantasy...you give him a piece of wood and he presents it to you like the ultimate magic wand....great guy...and yes he has some great ideas.....a Darth Vader mask with nickel...shiny...it would look great on the screen....and also a saber that resembles old swords....like a cross...wow...and he thought them for peanuts.....
Step 9 : Some more support people like sound specialists..carpenters...cleaning ladies....(you do remember the dust)...thankfully they don't cost much....
Step 10 : Now its time for business...enough with kid stuff...we need some kick ass advertisers and promoters that will flood the media about the new movie...money well spend....
Thats all, later some fellow shouted "Action"...the movie started filming and this is how TFA was made...
Sorry but it was probably the most boring predictable and badly made movie i have watched in the last years....i know that the original Star Wars had a lot of shortcomings...but this was 40 years ago...i was a kid gathering stickers when the Return of the Jedi came to the screens... so much excitement...so many dreams ..... TFA i am afraid is a film that if it was played around 20 years ago would be a good movie but for this time period i consider it the biggest scam ever performed....too bad it ruined the biggest movie myth....