This felt like a parody....

Rating: 1/10 (21 December 2015)

The Force Awakens starts off strong and promising, introducing interesting characters like an X Wing pilot Poe Dameron, the new villain in town Kylo Ren, a Chrome Stormtrooper called Captain Phasma, and a new droid BB-8. The First Order (aka. The empire for the new generation) are after this droid, (Sound familiar?) because for some reason EVERYONE in the galaxy is after the elusive Luke Skywalker who's gone missing, and this droid is key in finding his location. So that's basically the gist of the very shallow story; FIND Luke SKYWALKWER.
Where do I begin? Wow, this is without a doubt the weakest story in the saga thus far. It doesn't even explain WHY finding Luke is so important.
Nothing is explained in this film.
Our new heroes are Rey, (who plays the Luke Skywalker role of A New Hope) and Finn, basically our comedy relief character, who for whatever reason tags along for the adventure.
Their main goal is, by the luxury of endless coincidences in this poorly thought out movie; to stop the threat that is the First Order and their SUPER DEATH STAR, (wait for it.....) STARKILLER! And also, find that old hermit Luke.
Seriously, there are so many instances where you'll stop and think, "wow they're always there at the right time. How convenient". Such as, finding the Millennium Falcon by chance, running into Han Solo by chance, finding Luke's old lightsaber by chance, and my favourite, R2D2 waking up from low-power mode for no apparent reason other than to MOVE THIS NONSENSICAL PLOT ALONG!
Kylo Ren's character is ruined when he takes off his mask. You can't take him seriously anymore, he was a legit badass for the first hour of the movie, but that's all destroyed.
Han Solo's death was the ONLY emotional part in the film. He dies by his son Kylo Ren's lightsaber, that everyone saw a mile away was going to happen, very predictable but it was sad to see him go. HOWEVER, the way that he falls off the platform looks ridiculous and I actually laughed out loud at how stupid it looked.
The last third of the film is where I realized I was watching a parody. It is literally beat for beat, Episode IV and VI combined. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. A trench run to destroy Death Star 3 (the starkiller) and an underwhelming lightsaber duel between insta-Jedi Rey and Kylo Ren. As many others have said, if you've seen A New Hope, you've seen this movie, but that movie was actually good.
And lastly, the ending... I cannot put into words how bad the ending is... It is so bad... It is easily the WORST ending in the saga. After all that, the movie ends with Rey handing over the lightsaber to Luke (who's green screened into the shot BTW, looks super fake) and the two engage in a cringe worthy awkward staring contest with no words being spoken...
And it was at that moment where I laughed the hardest ever at a SW film.
Was that a parody I just witnessed?
LAUGHINGLY BAD.