Star Wars? You Are Mistaken

Rating: 1/10 (9 February 2016)

This review "contains spoilers." Let me start off by stating that I am a gargantuan Star Wars fan. The first flick my parents took me to see was ROTJ. I rather enjoyed the prequels minus one Jar Jar. Goerge Lucas, to me, is a genius and an innovator. I, like many people who are fans of this epic space opera franchise could not wait to see The Force Awakens. But then I went to see The Force Awakens and COULD NOT BELIEVE what the hell I was watching! Here are the problems with this so called Star Wars movie:
1. The galaxy far far away is small, very small. What is there, like 40 Resistance fighters and a couple a hundred First Order Storm Troopers with bad posture in this movie? 2. The pacing was awful, the humor was awkward, the music was sub par and it felt like I was watching a 2 hour plus compilation of horrid B movie trailers slapped together and called Star Wars: The Force Awakens!This movie did not feel like a Star Wars movie. Just horrible! 3. The plot was clumsily thrown together with no regard for the discerning, intellectual movie goer. So many gaping plot holes that Disney will have to make three crappy prequel movies to the Force Awakens just to answer questions that I'm not sure I even freaking care about at this point. But JJ and Disney, I will not be spending a red cent on further installments of this crap product. This movie was just that bad! But think about it, this is all by design. Disney will milk this franchise for all its worth. They'll make episodes that will fill in the 30 year gap between Jedi and this p.o.s. excuse for a movie. 4. The Starkiller Base is implausible, impossible and of course yet another rehash, ripoff of A New Hope. The First Order destroyed all these planets we as the viewer had no idea about. I didn't even care when Han Solo died. I just wanted the movie to be over at that point. 5. New characters and old. John Boyega's humor and acting overall was just plain bad. Oscar Issac was underutilized. Gwendoline Christie was MIA. Daisly Ridley's performance was mediocre, but I'll take it. Harrison Ford didn't even look like he wanted to be in this movie. Carrie Fischer looked constipated. Was Chewie wearing tennis shoes in this movie? Man he was spry for a Wookie. And last but not least, why, oh why is Mark Hamil only in this pathetic excuse of a movie for about 30 seconds? 6. Has there ever been a worse motion picture villain than Kylo Ren in the history of Hollywood? And why's he getting his butt kicked by a janitor with no force abilities and a little girl with no force training? Why? People who gave this movie high marks either work for Disney, have never seen a Star Wars movie, or are plum dumb. This is what our society has become. It's the Fast and the Furious culture chalk full of millennials and people who lack critical thinking skills. But make no mistake about it. We, who are true Star Wars fans were duped by Jar Jar Abrams! I won't be watching Rogue One or episodes 8 and 9, nor any of the other stand-alones!!!