Episode VIII had better be fantastic.

Rating: 6/10 (24 December 2015)

A fairly long time ago, in a county not so far away (Elstree Studios are an hour's drive away from yours truly), a great adventure took place. Now, J.J. Abrams, in league with the 'House of Mouse', has returned to make a seventh chapter in the franchise, and it's almost identical in plot to the first film, but with only a fraction of the magic and charm.
Daisy Ridley plays Luke sorry, I mean Rey a scavenger on the desert planet of Tatooinesorry, I mean Jakku who becomes involved in the rebellion against The Empire sorry I mean The First Order after she bumps into R2D2 sorry, I mean BB-8, a droid carrying plans to the death star sorry, I mean to the whereabouts of Luke Skywalker. Meanwhile, the First Order are preparing their new weapon, the Death Star sorry, I mean Starkiller Base for use against the rebellion, who are forced to launch a risky counter-attack that sees Rey coming face-to-face with masked villain Darth Vadersorry, I mean Kylo Ren (Adam Driver).
I've learnt to keep my expectations low for Star Wars films since The Phantom Menace, so I can't say The Force Awakens was a massive disappointment; it is what I feared it would be—a rather safe reboot, lacking in fresh ideas, which aims to please younger viewers with flashy visuals, whilst pandering to the older generation by including sly nods to the original trilogy. Personally, I would much rather they had taken a bolder approach: let's be honest they couldn't have got it any more wrong than the prequels.
There's a spark of originality in the form of Finn (John Boyega), a stormtrooper who has a change of heart and joins the rebellion, the production design and effects are incredible, and I admit that the return of Han Solo and Chewbacca warmed even my cynical heart, but on the whole I was left wanting by this latest instalment, particularly the final assault on the Starkiller Base, which was completely bereft of tension. In fact, my favourite moment of the whole film is when Carrie Fisher tries to convey anguish, but her plastic surgery doesn't let her.