Complete Trainwreck

Rating: 3/10 (7 April 2016)

This film failed on every level. It's not a believable piece of the franchise and not even an acceptable movie. The cast is horrible and it's continually reinforced by moments of phenomenal acting by a few. There is very little story and it's mostly a rehash of the first three movies, yet it feels like i would have enjoyed it much more if i had never heard of Star Wars.
The acting by Harrison Ford and Daisy Ridley was superb and drew me in to the story but it was continually upstaged by the horrible performances of the scenes other actors. It may have been the writing but Finn who was supposed to be a serious battle trained storm trooper came off as a goofy teenager. Kylo Ren who is supposed to be a deadly and evil Sith trained by the galaxies most famous Jedi acted more like an angry kid who was only trained in temper tantrums. It summed it all up in the final 30 seconds when Rey and Luke Skywalker meet and without saying a word conveyed more emotion than i had seen throughout the film.
Throughout all the previous films and all the books and stories Lucas laid in political undertones and unsaid questions of morality but there was just nothing here. There was nothing to think about and no excitement. The scenes had no development or meaning. The characters were just inserted into the story with a brief line or two as to who they were and where they came from. There was never any climax. Even the light saber battles were boring and looked as though they were choreographed by a 4 year old playing with wrapping paper tubes.
Han Solo. Ran away from home and someone stole his ship. Rey. My parents left me but they'll be back. I think. Sand. Luke Skywalker. SHHH i'm hiding. Kylo Ren. I'm bad and evil because i said so. Ima smash this computer. Finn. I'm running away or maybe i'll stay. Rey is cute. Rebels are cool. The force is real again.
It would be much better off as a Saturday morning cartoon on the Disney channel. You couldn't write a worse story.