The Worst Star Wars Movie, But Not "Bad"

Rating: 5/10 (11 August 2016)

I am writing this review as an enormous fan of the Star Wars films "Attack of the Clones" and "Revenge of the Sith." And not in a "guilty pleasure" kind of way. I genuinely find them to be some of the greatest and most underrated films of all time, and actually superior to both "A New Hope" and "Return of the Jedi." I understand that my opinion on both films is somewhat controversial. I do not ask you to share that opinion or even understand it, but I do ask you to respect it. If you are not mature enough to do so, please stop reading here. With that out of the way, "Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens" is about as unnecessary as sequels get. A direct continuation of the Skywalker Story despite Luke's character arc already being complete, "Episode VII" is about as about as necessary a sequel as "Toy Story 4" will be. (Yes, there is a "Toy Story 4" in production. I'm dead serious.) And, as predicted, it's also the worst Star Wars movie. But does that mean it's a "bad" movie? I don't think so. However, it's not exactly a "good" one either.
I will say that of all the Star Wars movies, "Force Awakens" has by FAR the best dialogue. I suppose that's like saying that herpes is the least harmful STD. But, it must be said, "Force Awakens" has far less groaner lines than any other Star Wars movie to date. Sometimes the dialogue is even fairly witty ("We can use the Force!" "That's not how the Force works!!!")
Another highlight of the film is its emphasis on practical effects over CGI. I will admit, if there's one thing the prequels lacked that the originals had, it was good, old fashioned practical effects. There's just a magic to the animatronics, puppetry and sets of the original trilogy that was missing from a fair chunk of the prequel trilogy. That magic is back in "Force Awakens" with some gorgeous animatronics, costumes, makeup and sets. I only hope that "Episode VII"'s emphasis of practical over digital will start a trend in Hollywood. Unlikely, but one can dream.
The acting is decent, albeit not spectacular, across the board. Harrison Ford is exactly what you'd expect as a wiser, darker take on Han Solo; he nails the rougueish smuggler's one liners and wisecracks but also brings a real emotional weight to the character that we haven't seen apart from the classic "I know" scene from "The Empire Strikes Back." He's very well developed and Ford gives arguably the strongest performance in the movie. The tragically underrated John Boyega gives the best performance of the franchise newcomers as Finn, a rogue stormtrooper unsure of his destiny and place in the universe. He's the most relatable, likable character in the film and I can't wait to see more of him in Episodes VIII and IX. Adam Driver makes the most of a script that horribly misuses him as Kylo Ren, showing a versatile range of emotions throughout the film and growing more intense in his acting near the end. While Rey herself is an awful, poorly written character, Daisy Ridley does the best she can with what little she has to work with.
Unfortunately, while the performances are decent, many of the characters are horrendously written. I've eaten toast with more personality than Poe Dameron (Oscar Issac), whose character doesn't get much more depth beyond saying a couple dumb jokes and being saved by Finn a few times. He could have been completely removed from the movie and nothing would have changed. New all-digital character Maz Katana completely wastes Lupita Nyong'o's talents, only existing to give pointless exposition and move the plot forward. And could somebody please enlighten me how she got her hands on Luke's lightsaber after Luke lost it in "Empire Strikes Back?"
And finally, we have Rey...Who YES, IS a Mary Sue. This is not because she is a strong female character. Look at Rey's achievements; she beats a trained Force User in lightsaber combat in her first fight with NO Force combat or saber training (And no, fighting with a staff is not the same as fighting with a single bladed lightsaber), everyone that she meets instantly loves her, she is fantastic at everything she tries right from the get go, she gets the main villain Kylo Ren to take off his mask simply by asking him (Which ruined what should have been an emotional scene when Ren reveals his face to his father Han) and worst of all...She knows the Millennium Falcon better than Han Solo. This is not "the future of feminist writing." This is not a character I can relate too. This is power fantasy fan fic that for some reason is being advertised as a legitimate Star Wars movie.
The story is hands down the worst thing about the film. "Force Awakens" is a film that takes no risks, and thus leaves no impact. There are no memorable scenes or shots in this movie, nothing here that we haven't already seen in "A New Hope"; something the filmmakers no doubt intentionally did to play on the nostalgia of fanboys who hate the mere mention of anything related to the prequels. It's often nonsensical as well, implying that Luke and the New Republic were so incompetent after the Galactic Empire's destruction that a new threat rose up not only seemingly immediately in their lifetime, but became powerful enough to actually be putting the New Republic on the defensive.
"Force Awakens" is not a travesty. As far as 2015 releases go, it's head and shoulders above the attack on intelligence that was "Jurassic World." But as far as Star Wars movies go, it is hands down the LEAST good of the Saga. Still, the film gives more than enough reasons to stay on board for sequels. Lord knows I'll be first in line for Episode VIII.