The Star Wars yogurt tasted better...

Rating: 1/10 (19 December 2015)

Too much promotion got me into expecting too much from this movie. Guys, when you pop up from the washing machine in the supermarket and the lids of my kids' yogurt, I expect that you actually have a story to tell. It was just a series of pop-up moments from the old Star Wars episodes. Where is the red line or am I missing it? I have wasted my time searching for it. This is a movie for adolescents. They can surely fill the gaps with their imagination and the pieces of information they can find placed on top of the yogurt lid or the T-shirt, or that notebook or the ... ups! I have to buy too many things in order to get the whole story in one place (you know, the washing machine...). It is ironic that the first episodes fueled my imagination also. They got me dreaming about science and technology ... But sucking a star to destroy a planet? What would a science person say about this bullshit? If you suck a star there comes that moment when the gun- planet orbiting around it will jump out of its orbit and collide with other planets from that system. You cannot take that much energy/a mass as big as a sun, make it disappear in your gun and expect land stability for your pitiful war preparations... I am not a science person. So, I might get it wrong. Anyway, following your pattern, I guess that you will suck a double-star or even a galaxy with the next Death Star in the following episode... What is that? I was expecting something new and when I say new I mean new special digital effects, new ways of seeing the technology. That was the trademark of this project. Every other episode offered something new, something that was so stunning that made other directors wanting to include that effect in their movies. You should be leading in this area. You are not. Just copy paste form here and there... some new robots/ cyber beings... a BB-8 unit that will look good as a teen rucksack (helping to deploy the plan for future education ... and... as everyone has a piece of the missing map and, you know, as the director really believes the you only need 6 other persons, not necessarily connected by LinkedIn, to overcome the adversity in the world ... finally we will bring eternal peace and restore the balance of power in the galaxy). Also, I am sick of too much religious like bullshit. It is too much of "among from the most under_served/ hit we will have the Buddha of the new generation... or the Messiah (judging by the new type of sabers of the new type of knights of the new type of Order... and the mass killing of the innocents and so on)" ... cut it off, pls! The new characters ... they are intentionally too shinny in comparison with the old ones. They have better angles of exposure and better make-up. They turn out to being very very strong in spite of adversities. The old ones are portrayed like a bunch of sissies with too much needs to attend for (ex. a new coat for the supposedly "old fashioned Solo" which desperately tries to dress up or dispose this coat to the nearest peg, the wookie). Come on! Peter O'Toole in "Troy" or Ian McKellen in "Lord of the Rings" were given better space to show off their characters. The director/s even managed to make the characters look very wrong - ex. Han Solo calling these new orphan (no ones/ coming from nowhere) heroes "kids" almost all of the time and finally giving them weapons... I would say the new ones are pretty resourceful adults in this movie. No need for that handing out of an old war to some child soldiers ... and old map... Remember, the map is not the territory. You are playing too much with imagery (even savage) at the expense of logic and construction. If you just wanted to confuse "older audiences" (meaning the fans and followers of Lucas' vision), I think you did a great job. I also believe that, intentionally or not, the makers of this film manage to push the sequel (what sequel?) of a cult film into the ridiculous.. It looks like a Xmas tree with a lot from the old decorations on it! Beware! The Supreme Ladder Snoke might take this from you also! Do not dare to write bad reviews! These people know nothing about joking... :)) PS: This is for other parents My kids are still small (4 and 7). I would recommend this movie only for 12+ years.