Go sit at the prequels table, Force Awakens

Rating: 1/10 (23 December 2015)

This was a paint by numbers movie. Take the 1977 film and color it anyway you want, JJ Abrams. When the Star Wars name is slapped on a movie, you spend a lot of money, make a lot of money, that's how it works. Big hype, positive reviews, I got caught up in the excitement, wow, look at the special effects in the trailer, lots of things flying around and shooting! Paid my $9.00. Watched a totally uninspired piece of garbage. Should have let Jodorowsky do it. There is no Heart in this film. Geez louise, these characters were bland, no character development whatsoever. Just believe whatever it is this girl can do, she just can, OK. Yeah, I don't know why she was collecting garbage and eating weird add-water bread when she knows everything about everything and is the ultimate jedi. And Han Solo's kid, Kylo Ren? What a turd. If he was so badass he would have instantly sensed the weakness in Finn and killed him then and there. And what was up with that big holographic freak Snoke? Snoke? Stupid name. Was he supposed to be scary? Everything has to be taken for granted. Things just happen with no explanation or connection. Where was Poe? Oh yeah, I uh, was OK after all. Surprise, buddy! Captain Phasma? What is this, Mr. Roboto? No, domo arigato.