...and may the force rest in peace

Rating: 1/10 (20 December 2015)

I have never before written a movie review, but after watching this abomination I felt compelled to spread the truth: THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES!
Now I understand why Disney bought Lucasfilm and with it the rights to Star Wars - they hated its success so much, so that they wanted to destroy it once and for all, but making a lot of money on the way. To be truly efficient they needed to get the sith lord of movie-making J.J. Abrams on their side, whose storytelling talent is that of a log in a fireplace. For hours after watching this so-called movie, I wondered how the story writing was actually done - did they first start with the plot or with the plot holes. The plot holes in SWTFA are so brilliantly executed, so that hundreds of books and Disney cartoons (generating more profits along the way) will be needed to fill in the gaps. While I agree that the plot holes made some sense (in terms of future PROFITS), I cannot say the same about the plot itself - its complete lack of logic is staggering. The next step in their plan of ruining SW was even better - they had to create 2-dimensional uninteresting characters (no need to mention specific ones since they all fit this definition perfectly) that had to be acted very poorly (which explains the subconscious desire of Han Solo to die and relieve Harrison Ford from carrying on with the role). For the picture to be complete they had to add cheesy humor and cheap CGI effects - obviously supreme leader Snoke was so powerful, so that he succeeded to escape the LOTR universe and jump right into the SW one. I don't know why John Williams decided to participate in this plan and ruin his own music, but this time he delivered a completely unmemorable score.
Although my review seems overly critical this move has one redeeming value, that makes up for all its flaws - now, I consider the prequels (SW 1-3) to be true masterpieces of movie-making.