Not Star Wars

Rating: 1/10 (26 December 2015)

*This review does not contain spoilers... There is nothing to spoil*
Let me start by saying that I am a big fan of star wars, after having played Knights of the Old Republic 1 & 2 many times and watching the movies numerous times. I loved the original star wars movies because of the character development, atmosphere, the underlying themes and background stories of the characters rather than the action.
This movie is merely an action flick designed to rake in as much cash as possible. These are the things that are completely wrong with this movie:
1. The plot is complete garbage, why would there be a map to Luke? Also, are they really telling us that Luke has been standing alone at the top of a mountain on some random planet during the whole timespan of this movie? While 5 planets are being blown up by this "New Order" he's just been standing on top of a mountain by himself letting it happen. I actually laughed so hard at how stupid this is. A kid in middle school could have come up with a better plot.
2. Storm troopers are clones that are made to obey the commander of the republic (this is how the emperor killed all the Jedi) now I'm assuming once the empire was destroyed, the new order took over control. Now Finn decides that all of a sudden he can just stop being under control and do what he wants?
3. Every character was trying to be witty and joking like it's some teen drama film, no this is star wars where the tone is very serious with the odd joke from solo, C3-PO or R2-D2. In this film there are constant lame jokes that really serve no purpose.
4. Characters were all very boring, no background stories from any characters or anything to make them like-able and relatable. The only somewhat good character was Rey, whom they decided to do a 30 second flashback of her past and then not explain any of it. Overall this movie was just way too fast past to develop anything. It was really just a string of events to lead to the ending which is pretty much A New Hope all over again.
5. Kylo is the worst villain I've ever seen. He was pretty bad-ass until he took off the mask and started acting like a little scared child. The main problem with Kylo is that his character is totally unconvincing. We are supposed to believe that Kylo was able to lead a group of Jedi to rebel against Luke? Who would follow this whiny Ill-tempered kid? I'm sure Luke would have ended him right away anyways seeing as he can't even hold his own against Rey and Finn who had never held a lightsaber before.
6. Finn has absolutely no significance to the story or plot whatsoever except when he uses his sanitary engineer experience to point out a weakness for Death Star 3. The whole movie I was wondering why he was even there other than to joke around and tag along for the ride.
7. I know star wars is fictional however they could at least follow what has been done in everything else up until now. People cannot just learn force powers and how to use a light saber overnight. Somehow Rey, beats Kylo (who was trained by Luke for years it seems) with her force powers and light saber skills after only having found out about them mere hours ago.
8. The acting was absolutely brutal except for Harrison ford and Daisy Ridley at some parts. Every other character was very boring or delivered their lines in such a corny terrible way.
9. The scene where they reveal that Kylo is Han's son was so horribly put together. I was in awe that they revealed it how they did because it had no build up or effect whatsoever. A scene that has so much significance should certainly have some emotional effect on the audience.
Overall this film is the most disappointing movie I've ever seen and I hope Disney and Abrams are ashamed of themselves for ruining such a great franchise. The only decent part of this film was the awesome CGI and graphical effects. Otherwise as a theatrical piece, utilizing characters, story and a fictional theme, this is utter crap. If you want to see an action film with a senseless plot, you have your movie. If you want to see a Star Wars movie, then don't waste your time with this junk. I certainly won't be wasting my time and money with the next movie.