I Want My Money Back

Rating: 2/10 (31 December 2015)

This movie wasn't just a huge disappointment, it was boring. Why? Because I've seen it before. It was a duplicate of Star Wars Episode IV (1977). Force-blessed child is found on a desert planet where he (she) meets a droid recently runaway from Darth Vader, they are helped off that planet by Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon, they get entangled in yet another Death Star where the shields must be lowered and a target must be destroyed to destroy the construct ... even the canyon scene with X-wing fighters was rehashed. Was there an Obi-Wan? Yup, the incomparable Max Von Sydow plays the role of the old geezer who provides the path to learning about the force but is killed in the process. Scenes from Episodes V and VI were also rehashed, like setting bombs to blow up a facility and a father/son team meeting on a bridge with a single light saber. The death of Han Solo was SO PREDICTABLE that the entire scene dragged on and on into utter boredom. I almost started laughing when Luke (Yoda) is finally found on a water (swamp) planet where Rey (Luke) will learn to be a Jedi ... that's Episode VIII, which promises to be a complete rehash of Episode V. I won't waste my money on it. Regrettably, I was fooled into forgetting my first rule of movie marketing: if the movie is bad, it will often be over-marketed before its release to try and make the investment back before anyone realizes how bad it is. Disney marketed the snot out of this movie. I should have seen this lemon coming, but I hoped. Oh, how I hoped. So, just to be clear, why do I want my money back for Episode VII? Because I already paid to see this movie ... in 1977. It even had the same cast!