The Force is still asleep

Rating: 4/10 (23 May 2016)

I, like many people, saw the original in the theater. Also, like many people, I waited in line for an unmentionable amount of hours to see Episode I, and then trudged through two more. So, I went into this movie in a fairly familiar state for a lot of fans. Also, I'd like to point out that I did like this movie. However, most everything in my review is going to be negative. The rating score is being inflated by nostalgia, which originally had me ranking this movie as a 9 or a 10. But, in conversations with other fans, and on re-viewings, I have since adjusted the score.
The good: It's Star Wars. Definitely felt like a Star Wars movie. SO much, that this bullet point is going to appear in the next paragraph. There were some cool new X-Wing visuals, and you see the Falcon basically doing the asteroid belt evasion scene, but through a junkyard. OK, every good point is obviously going to be tainted by it, so we might as well move on ...
The bad: It's Star Wars. We didn't get a new story. At all. It's been almost 40 years, and we were just retold a chapter? On one hand, I wasn't let down like I was in Episode I, but I would have enjoyed some originality. Somewhere. We got almost identical terrains as we have seen before. Tattooine was replaced by Jakku, and Hoth was replaced by the surface of Starkiller Base, which was clearly the Death Star 3.0. Even the "new" characters are not new at all. Rey is the Jedi side of Luke. While Poe is the pilot. Finn is Han Solo, and BB-8 is R2-D2. Maz is the new Yoda, Threepio hasn't changed. The plot? Hide plans in droid, get them to the Rebels ... err, the Resistance. Blow up big planet killer through the one point you can. I've seen this movie before. Loved it, but I've seen it.
A lot of people argue that the characters WILL be good. I don't care about what might come to pass, this is a review on what I saw. We can discuss Episode 8 when it comes out. As of now ...
The villain is a pussy. Think about how intimidating Darth Vader was from the first time you saw him, up until he had the Emperor over his head. Kylo Ren inspires none of that. At ANY time. And he cried. I found him better at comic relief than a terrifying villain.
Rey is a great example of a Mary Sue character. She can do absolutely everything, and yes ... it feels like she has been made into the next Disney princess because of grrl power, and I have a bad feeling about it.
For the most part, I liked Finn, but he IS a traitor. He broke his conditioning at the sight of his mate's blood, but then he had no problem firing on his other mates with a cannon. I hope he gets some training, gets stronger, and gets the chick. But, we'll see.
I did NOT like the new droid. BB-8 is a horrible replacement to R2, in my opinion. First off, it's propulsion method is completely illogical. It looks like they designed a cart before the horse. For instance, place a bowling ball exactly where you want it, and do the same thing with a book, or a shoe, or a anything with say ... a FLAT surface to surface contact point? Now, start adjusting the angle of that surface, or ... it's friction coefficient, to simulate ice, or even just a wet deck. How did that thing move across the sand? How was it supposed to get back up those stairs it went down? I have no problem with electromagnets, but if the droid loses power, does that mean the head detaches? It was designed to be cute more than functional, so I do not like it. It's basically a new Ewok.
Captain Phasma was as much of a let down as Maul in Episode I. I expected a lot more coolness from the Cylon/Stormtrooper crossover that I thought I saw in the previews.
No new spacecraft? In fact, we lost some. No A-Wings, B-Wings, Tie Interceptors or even Bombers. Wait, sorry. I guess we got to see the new landing boats, which were pretty cool and provided an interesting LST-type viewpoint as the Stormtroopers landed in a hot LZ.
I don't really understand who they are "resisting". It's only been 30 years since they won, and how wrong could it have gone? Maybe they shouldn't have overthrown the established government if they couldn't actually control the galaxy. But, it feels like the enemy is the same as it was before, so it's almost like going back to Iraq or something.
The ugly: All in all, I loved it the first time I saw it, but that feeling has waned. I realize a lot of it was nostalgia, but I wouldn't call this movie a strike. It was just a tip foul, like RotJ (for those damn Ewoks). Episode I was three strikes and three outs all in one swing, and II and III didn't do too much better. I have watched it more than once, and I do plan to watch it again, but it's not a complete movie. All of the characters, the plot and the story all heavily depend on Episode 8, and that's obviously not out yet. So, to quote Fan Boys ... "what if it sucks?"