Could have been so much better.

Rating: 5/10 (18 February 2017)

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS (But if you've seen Episode IV it's OK, this is basically a remake)
"Oh look, a desert planet...."
Stormtroopers STILL couldn't shoot a white whale on a black background.
Train a Stormtrooper to use a rifle for years and he still can't hit s**t. Put one at the weapon controls of a Tie-Fighter and the Millennium Falcon for the first time ever and he's a crack shot.
Funny comedic effect droids make perfect delivery containers for VERY VERY important information. (I wonder where I've seen that before)
Who the f**k takes a wanted droid to a parlay? (This is Han Solo BTW, lap it up fans.....)
"I'm a huge bloodthirsty savage monster. I'm gonna roll about and kill and eat everyone in my path RARGH.. Oh except this guy (A main character). This guy I'll just grab and run around for a bit instead"
"Oh look, The Death Star..... Wait, Never mind....."
General Hux rips off President Whitmores speech from Independence Day.
"Lets destroy a planet with our huge energy weapon on our Death Star... Sorry Captain, I meant our big spherical ship... Wait, what, We're a planet? Sorry Sir..... OPEN FIRE."
The Cavalry rolls in on their horses just in time.... Sorry I meant The Resistance in their X-Wings. 75 mins into the movie, more than half way through, I'ts almost over..... It's like the Americans in WW2...
Kylo Ren should have kept his mask on.
OK I've been captured.. This ugly Vader wannabe tried reading my mind with sound effects and everything, but I beat his a$$... OMG I think i'm a Jedi, well whaddayaknow.... Let's successfully use the Jedi mind trick for the FIRST F***ING TIME EVER..... "You will remove these restraints and let me go so I can stop watching this damn awful movie...."
Someone else is your father Luke, sorry I meant Ren, or is that Rey?... No wait, I am your father, I think... Hang on a minute, are you my father? No I'm not... What about the guy in the back?... No he's your mother.... Well what about that guy, is he my sister? No he's your aunties cousins sisters brothers nephews son.... :( I'm f***ing lost here..
:Pilot raises hand: "So we have to fly our X-Wings through a trench to hit some weak point so we can blow this Death star up? I'm sure I've seen this somewhere before Captain." :Captain: "I'ts a planet" :Pilot: "F**K YOU....."
Rey closes her eyes and is suddenly a master of the force.... Move over Yoda, Later Vader, That's all Darth Maul.....
Oh look it's Luke Skywalker, let's hear what he's got to say....... ROLL CREDITS