Star Wars Episode VII I Mean IV.2 The Gender Politics Awakens

Rating: 3/10 (17 January 2016)

Err Sorry The Force Awakens. There will be a rant and then a review by an amateur about the film (go easy on me) I sound crazy but I just want to watch an enriching space opera. Is that so much to ask?
We get it Alien never happened, Ellen Ripley wasn't a thing, Foxy Brown never happened, No Nikita and Buffy didn't exist plus Sarah Connor was a fevered Dream. It took Jar Jar Abrams to come along and create the first independent Lady in Film. Then, spend two hours patting himself on the back for it by telling us every few minutes via heavy handed dialogue
"stop holding my hand" a few minutes later "your holding my hand again! I said stop holding my hand"
Alright we get it. We get it she's and independent lady. We were lost without you JJ You saved the world. You did it. Hooray for 2015. Nobody ever had a female lead before you!
The point of Gender equality isn't to put a female main character in and then reference it every chance you get. True equality would be to create a well rounded great character and leave it at that. You don't need to assure us she's tough every few seconds, you don't need to point it out throughout the film making a mockery of it by applauding yourself for your progressive politics.
You want a girl Jedi? cool. You want a black lead? Good, Great. We don't care. This isn't new. Your job is to make a great film. Not turn Star Wars into a political Soap Box.
Oh, I forgot; The spittle flying speech of General Hux wasn't bad but the Racist neo nazi-esque Empire and First Order are Gender equal hate mongers? Good to know. (the empire if any readers are unaware, looked down on all other races other than humans, but its good to know that JJ has turned them into positive gender equality role models.)
Also I read Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill were supplied with a nutritionist and fitness trainer. I guess Carrie Fisher wasn't skinny enough for you and your progressive polemics.
I won't even get into the BB8 is a girl theory. It's a droid. Everyone chill.
Words that come to mind about the overt politics in this film: Conspicuous, Arrogation, misappropriation, and Opportunism.
The Film itself: Derivative. this is episode IV but without the character development and beautiful pacing. Old films work because they take the time to let you get to know the backstory and characters, it really doesn't have to take too much extra time, or be too in depth but something, anything please. Relax 2015, there is plenty of time for a blaster battle or space fight or lightsaber duel.
Where is C3Po and R2D2? You do realize the provenance of Star Wars right? The Hidden Fortress? Akira Kurosawa? a couple of light, jocular, insignificant characters surrounded by immense, epic forces? This is at the core of Star Wars. You ripped off the first film, you must have watched it? They are the first characters to appear on screen.they are the lifeblood of the franchise. Fail.
Super Death Star? What are you 8? This isn't the 80's. No, Your ideas don't get better with more Blow.
In fact, entirely less cocaine fueled ideas.... please.Pretty please.
Draining the energy from a sun? How high are you? Do you have any idea how large and powerful and object a star is? Expletive Ridiculous Please... less cocaine.
Han Solo? Deus Ex Machina from the heavens. Do you know how large space is? Were you awake when you wrote this >>?
There is probably more bad, but other than copying episode IV without plot or substance lets move on to the positives before we write a novel or psych thesis on this film's failings.
The scenery is beautiful. The view of the X-wing battles from ground level was fantastic.
Rey and the world of Jakku were bad a**. A downed Star Destroyer, living in an AT AT. the very Sand People wardrobe. We will hope for more character development next time I suppose. And less outlandish sudden mastery of the force.
I actually liked the Kylo Ren scenes. I thought the acting was some of the best in the film. and despite other viewers consternation over the daddy issues, Star Wars has always had a bit of family discordance. The choice of clothing with high cut neck to accentuate his outlandish and strange, almost Gothic features were interesting even with the helmet off.
Finn was likable. though I have no Idea where his lightsaber abilities came from. The actor is in a film called Attack The Block which was a lot of fun and mayhem, so probably the reason he was cast.
The last scene was moving. I loved the the island and the stone work and the cinematography. And no words spoken? I loved that too. It worked for me and didn't risk ruining the scene with clunky dialogue.
I guess that's it. This has been therapeutic. I send this out into the abyss. my venting releases me, my angst abated.
with love from a fan.