THE SHORT AND SHORT OF IT: What a great Episode IV remake... NOT (spoilers spoilers!!!)

Rating: Null/10 (16 December 2015)

Thanks Mr Abrams. Then again, you just directed it, not write it, right? Great original plot of a new Death Star! Great idea of characters running around in new Death Star! Great idea of a droid being chased for holding vital information! Great settings on Tatooine (i mean Jakku), Hoth, Yavin and Endor (oops, wrong names again)! Great new Cantina! Great bad-ass villains! Great showing of the dark side! Great ending of Rebel HQ running out of time as Rebel fighters enter trench to destroy new death star! I felt so safe I yawned a few times. But seriously, thanks for maintaining the'I am your father' and 'If you are a main character then you are somehow related to me' tradition. Thanks for showing that a girl who just discovered the Force can suddenly know of and execute Jedi mind tricks and defeat a trained practitioner of the dark side. My bad for expecting Kylo Ren to personally just do the death choke on everyone he meets. My bad for expecting to relive the real-life excitement of the trench battle in Episode IV and snow battle in Episode V. As a movie, it's still worth our money spent. As a phenomenon, the franchise lives on. With your consent, I hereby re-title this: EPISODE VII: A REMADE HOPE