Nostalgic Payoff and Little More: The 5 Problems w/ The Force Awakens

Rating: 6/10 (21 December 2015)

Episode VII is a very average, 2015ish type of movie. If it was taken to a lost tribe of humans who had never seen any prior Star Wars films, I am fairly confident it would be ranked alongside other contemporary movies that are short on story and long on action scenes--e.g., Transformers, Iron Man 2, and Pacific Rim.
The movie certainly had some good aspects. I thought the casting of Daisy Ridley (Rey) and John Boyega (Finn) was very good. There were a few moments where the dialogue had me laughing out loud. The technical effects (sound, music, cinematography) were very good. JJ ("Jar Jar") Abrams could have attempted to cheese it up with a bunch of terrible CGI (like Episodes 1, 2, and 3), but fought that temptation (other than with Snoke).
There were, however, some major problems.
First, the movie felt like it could have been directed by Michael Bay (of Armageddon fame). The movie's plot seemed to exist only as a way of getting the actors to another 20-minute fight/chase sequence. It seemed the plot could easily be boiled down to: bad guy wants good guy; chase ensues; good guy gets caught; good guy escapes; bad guy looks for and finds good guy again; another chase ensues; repeat.
Second, there really was not much of a plot. What little plot I could find was astonishingly similar to Episode IV: droid on barren, dessert planet with a hidden secret being sought after by the bad guys. Droid finds good-hearted local kid who unknowingly has strong, unknown powers of the force. Kid and droid meet, and then make friends to take on fight against the bad guy who is a Jedi who betrayed his family by turning to the dark side. This Jedi serves a dark mysterious overlord in a manufactured planet/space station that has incredible powers for destruction. However, this planet, despite its incredible technology and penchant for war, has made itself easily destructible, by allowing it to be blown up by having a single spot, if shot enough times (especially with help from a fat, bearded white guy). Stop me if any of this sounds familiar. I appreciate Abrams' attempt to pay homage to the original series (something he did very well in Star Trek), but I think he went well beyond paying homage. As one reviewer very poignantly stated, this is not a sequel; it is a remake.
Third, while I appreciated the efforts to bring back Hans and Leia, man, are they old. In fact, they were too old to do an effective job. Leia's plastic surgery made her unable to show expression (a problem most evident when Hans died), and almost unable to enunciate her words. Hans at time seemed sharp, but other times seemed confused. The only one who looked young enough to do a good job was Mark Hamill and he didn't have a line. He's not getting any younger. What are we saving him for?
Fourth, the plot is full of holes. I started listing them on here, but then found an article that lists 40 plot holes. IMDb wouldn't let me put a link in, but Google "40 Unforgivable Plot Holes in Star Wars: The Force Awakens." The article doesn't even mention how a person could enter a planet's atmosphere at light speed, and then have time to "pull up" before landing safely. One reviewer who LOVED the movie wrote, "Just don't think too much, and have a great time." I'm sorry, but if I have to stop thinking to enjoy a movie, I'm not going to be able to enjoy said movie.
And Fifth (and probably what bothered me the most), the movie was filled with a bunch of sequences that were so improbable that it rendered the story unbelievable. People would crash land onto giant planets and the Death Star II in just the right places. Main characters seemed to teleport around the screen in order to get done everything the script told them they had to be done. And the Death Star II, despite it's massive size, helpfully put all control mechanisms (shield system, weapons system, docking station, and apparently the self- destruction mechanism) in the same spot.
This is definitely required watching for most Americans, but it's hard to find any objective measure by which someone can call this anything more than decent.