Many will love it, but doesn't match the hype. In fact, even un-hyped, it would be a let-down

Rating: 4/10 (17 December 2015)

A disclaimer: I don't like much cinema.
The plot holes, clichés and melodramatic soundtracks grate with me. Equally, the inevitably formulaic black-and-white story lines, all with some graduation of good winning against evil, are frustrating in their saccharine idealism. Certain films break with this, but a Hollywood, big budget, multi-episode series is almost guaranteed to stick with some safe formula and look to tick the boxes.
Of course, as a child none of that mattered. The original Star Wars enthralled me and Empire Strikes Back took that a step further. But by Return of the Jedi I recall leaving the cinema somewhat deflated. Ewoks heralded the beginning of the "cute" (annoying) kid and the Jar-Jar Binks era, over-played slap-stick comedic acts with story-holes plugged by flashy CGI and booming soundtracks. The three prequels seemed more about money making, than a homage to film as a place for epic story-telling, and were to the original three films what Paris Hilton is to Steve Jobs.
So I was somewhat apprehensive about the 06:50 session at Leicester Square Odeon. The film finished an few hours ago and I've come to the realization I still don't like cinema. And Star Wars is probably just not my thing, with a hit rate of 3 out of 7.
On the "good", Force Awakens did the job in terms of ticking boxes. It has great CGI and epic scenes - though what film or computer game doesn't these days? It puts a modern spin on a few gender/race issues that the originals couldn't have handled - but still gravitates towards cheap stereotypes and anthropomorphisms in many characters. It certainly pays respect to the original films - in fact most of it seems a collage directly lifted from the original three, with conveniently placed familiar images to prop up scenes. And of course it wheels out the original cast while adding new ones - no surprises there. Other than that, the only positive I can see is it is another big budget blockbuster and has Star Wars in its parenting.
If you want to see another Phantom Menace or Return of the Jedi then you have it here. But as much as the story-line matches Star Wars, its not the new and novel experience Star Wars was.
On the bad....the film is tedious. Ultimately it is a Disney adventure aimed at, I would guess, an average age of 11 or 12. But unlike Toy Story or Shrek, it doesn't have much to hold adults other than a nostalgia for the original films. Expect one-liners and clichéd delivery of script which at times were cringe-worthy - perfect however in a school drama class. As to the story, its cobbled together from the initial three films. If you want to see that then you'll probably enjoy it. But surely in the length of time between the previous films and with a $200 million budget, a story that brings something different to the table could have been dreamed up? No surprise that it seems lazy. The plot connects with one grand coincidence after another - everyone just happens to be in the right place, at the right time....all the time. I guess that's "the Force" doing its thing. But it comes across like a story written by a child - "And then the bad guys attack the good guys, and suddenly a new good guy appears and saves the day, but suddenly the bad guy gets away and threatens the world, and suddenly the good guys manage to hatch a plan and destroy the big threat..." and so on. The melodrama seems contrived and I found it difficult to feel any attachment with the main characters - it probably says something that only Chewy, the anonymous X-Wing pilots and the sinister masked Kylo Ren have any real connection. Han Solo will obviously hold the day, but even Ford isn't the class he once was
I accept that Star Wars, as sci-fi, will always be more Star Trek or Transformers than Interstellar or 2001. This isn't deep and thought provoking cinema. It doesn't challenge and prod you in to changing your outlook on life. It is cinematic spoon feeding. But Force Awakens takes that further, more Fast and Furious than it is Aliens. Sci-fi gives a lot of leeway to patch over holes with CGI and the ability to make plot leaps. Force Awakens pushes the limits of that leeway way beyond what a film of this heritage and budget should do. It seemed b-grade bolted on to a high quality shell.
Maybe it was the early morning screening or the lack of a critical mass of people in the cinema. But the crowd walking out at the end didn't seem too enthralled either.