A long time ago in a bank account far far away......The Shareholders Awaken

Rating: 1/10 (27 December 2015)

if I could register a negative score I would.
BB8 and chewie the two non speaking characters have the best lines in the film. Okay sarcastic joke, but that emphasises the lack of quiet action from the real protagonists. The dialogue was simply not there, the plots so paper thin and written for a pre pubescent teen audience of the 21st century. I watched Episode IV aged about 6 in the cinema. Our family went back to see it again. The draw was the performances, the action, the plot, subplot arcs, the visuals, nothing was left to chance, no meaningless scenes. There was nothing with which this film could be compared. One came away from A New Hope wanting to be a Jedi and learn the ways of the force. Alec Guiness informed us it was all around us, it bound the galaxy together. I fell in love with Star Wars, did you hear that Disney!
Roll on the 21st Century McDonald's we are rewarded with insta Jedi. Rey doesn't need to learn the force. Having never heard of it in the first third of the film, but by minute 99 she is a fully fledged mind reading, sabre wielding Jedi master. I seem to remember Luke not being able to raise his X-wing on Dagoba. Luke staring on as Ben tricks a sand trooper in Mos Eisley. But Rey is able to trick a Stormtrooper like Ben because she needs to escape to further the plot. Jedi instant it seems just add water must!
That's what you get a watered down version of a film they used to call Star Wars. If you took away the action scenes, which weren't memorable, took away the music, which they did by the way and were left with just the dialogue, you'd be left with a really threadbare stage play. No character development, plots which don't knit together, no plot arcs, sub plot or character involvement/ compassion. Can anyone tell me anything about Poe? The character is a blank, as is Max Von Sydow, Rey, Phasma. Finn is the most confusing a pacifist who loves to kill Stormtroopers? Followed by Ren a dark Jedi who apparently didn't need the mask, just a deeper voice! Vader's mask was a life support. Ren has a toy mask pretending to be Vader. A fake mask for a fake character.
Why wasn't Ren disfigured? This was one of countless and I mean countless plot fails and character defects which plagued the film from start to end.
BB8 didn't need to carry the map, unlike R2, he didn't need to be delivered safely. Why was there a map in the first place, I still have no idea what that plot entails? Who hides but thinks to leave a map? The Falcon was lost or stolen? No one scavenged the Falcon in a town full of scavengers? Poe and Finn are instantly best friends and trust each other despite being from opposite camps. Did the director not watch Ice Cold in Alex? Ren shot by a wookie despite being able to stop laser blasts mid air? Then loses to a novice Jedi, I use that term novice for Rey, she wasn't even an apprentice Jedi! Everyone can wield a light sabre at the first attempt. Remember how clumsy Luke was on the Falcon in Episode IV, then trained with Yoda, then lost to Vader in Empire, then barely beat Vader in ROTJ.
REY IS BY THAT EQUATION BETTER THAN YODA!
A starving Rey doesn't sell the droid for food. Chased by clean looking Stormtroopers in a dusty backwater minutes after finding the droid. Can fly the Falcon at first attempt. Not even Luke flew the Falcon, EVER! Can repair the Falcon as well, making Han and Chewie out to be amateurs in their own ship. Why wasn't Han rewarded after helping to save the Galaxy risking his life over three films, no he has to go back to smuggling? No fear he finds his beloved legendary ship, which no one recognised, but they still seem to know about the Kessel Run incident, 14 sorry12 parsecs, cue canned laughter.
Han finds the Falcon milliseconds after it left the planet floor of Jakku? Yet he cannot locate Luke?
Hux shouts at his troops, not really an Imperial Commander, Ren trashes his computer games consol. Tries often in repeated scenes to use Jedi mind tricks to draw information from his enemies. Runs around after said enemies trying to locate a droid, Vader would have delegated that responsibility. Isn't that what Bounty Hunters are for? Every pub has a spy and instantly recognises the droid and calls it in to the First Order, who are they? Never explained. Not the Empire as this would have died with its EMPEROR!
Luke's incorrect light sabre from Empire, the one he lost, found in a box in a basement at Yellow sorry Orange Yoda's pub.
....and so it goes on.
Han dies and no one blinked or cried. When he was encased in carbonite who didn't have a lump in their throat? The minute he walked on the bridge we all knew what was coming, what a postcard ending.
An amateurish, plot stealing attempt from A New Hope being passed off as a new film. It is at best a rough homage.
We should be asking for our money back and a remake.
A sad end to the Star Wars saga and the films I used to love.
Goodbye Han.
It's crap all of it!