"It's time to meet the Muppets..."

Rating: 7/10 (24 August 2001)

WARNING: REVIEW CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS
In this post-Phantom Menace age the superficial thrills of Return suddenly don't seem all that bad. Particularly entertaining when watched alone, not after the maturer Empire, it's a worthwhile movie.
The opening breakout from Jabba's palace is genuinely exciting (the unmodified original still the best - the updated version retains the ropy matte effects on the rancquor beast and inserts a dumb Ike & Tina dance combo) though thereon it does falter slightly.
More contrived than usual, with Leia being Luke's sister undeniably stupid. Not only is it silly in itself, but it also destroys the Han-Luke dynamic, leaving Solo nothing to do but fire toy guns like a spare part. Suddenly upgraded to full lead status, Mark Hamill does adequately here, his more distinguished features (he looks about 80, basically) adding to his dramatic appeal. He even manages to look genuinely upset over the death of that silly old glove puppet, Yoda.
I remember an amusing French and Saunders spoof of The Phantom Menace with John Inman as an Emperor. This could easily have been inspired by Iain McDarmid here, who is the campest Emperor you'll ever see. Maybe the whole thing is a homophobic fable, Darth and the Emperor trying to "turn" Luke to their side. "His compassion for you will be his undoing" notes McDarmid - Hamill for his part counters that "You won't convert me as you did my father." Face it - the dark side is all about dressing up in black leather and calling people "master". Vader is an S & M fetishist destroying the rebel alliance merely as a pastime.
It is weird how - as with the speedbike chase - most of the state of the art special effects now look extremely dated. However, unlike some modern efforts, the movie doesn't hinge on such endeavours and so it still stands up. It also moves at a cracking pace, so that while the events are perfunctory, the dialogue functional, it's rarely boring.

Yet what eats away at the film's core is its Disneyfied perspective. Jim Henson gets his foot firmly in the door, while Luke being visited by the ghosts of his father, Yoda and Alec Guinness is vomit inducing. As with Phantom, Lucas reasons that any old writer could come up with brand new plots time after time - it takes a man of rare mettle to do the same story three times over. Go get that Death Star, boys!!
The Ewoks are of course rubbish, but I loved 'em as a kid. I loved its neat, loose-ends-tied ending when I was ten, too, just in the same way that I hated Empire's open-ended resolution. Okay, so this is the most kid-orientated Star Wars movie (pre Jar-Jar, obviously) but it shouldn't necessarily be knocked for that. In fact, all of the comic set pieces are strictly of the "cringe inducing" variety, but they made me very, very happy as a child.
There are questions: the chief Ewok smokes a pipe. As their culture seems to be partially based on Native American culture, then what is implied to be in the pipe? Or did Embassy just have shares in the picture? Why does Darth's arm grow a foot longer when his hand is chopped off? And whoever would've thought his death would be so sad? And why IS Boba Fett so popular? I mean, what does he actually DO? Generally, though, this is a movie without any kind of subtext, which can make it disappointing. The climax doesn't pack the potency it once did, but Luke's conflict - how to defeat the enemy without giving way to inner hate - is an identifiable and enjoyable turmoil.
We get told the Death Star is operational twice just in case we don't get it, Billy Dee Williams is wasted, and Harrison plays toy soldier the whole time. But I last saw this on satellite when I had an overnight stay in a hotel. You know the sort of thing - a dull work course, no free bar - and this film became an admirable distraction. Yeah, all in all, this is not that bad a movie. It has a clear three-act structure, a decent pace and compared to The Phantom Menace it's BBC Shakespeare. And I didn't even mention the bit with Carrie Fisher in THAT bikini. 5/10, I think. 8.0 average on the IMDb? Let's not get carried away...