Star Wars Chapter VI: Review of the Jedi- "A New Look"

Rating: Null/10 (12 November 2004)

...watched my DVD of ROTJ yesterday. I honestly hadn't seen the film since the orig version- I had bought the VHS set (used) of the "special edition" but had only seen the 1st film- I'd watched a few minutes of that version's Empire.... Other than the end of Jedi showing all the new "celebration" footage establishing the cities to be seen in Chapter 1 and 2, and the additional Bespin stuff, and the re-ghosting of Anakin ala Hayden "I seriously need some actin' lessons George!" Christiansen (in what might be said to be his BEST performance yet...) it was unchanged. And that means a big yawn. Jedi disappointed me on many levels- repeating the Deathstar, the scene where the Emperor is trying to do in Luke (with "energy bolts"- when will something replace the lightening effect?!?!) and the shots of Darth looking back and forth obviously in a nature brain lock of "What do I do??"- it could have been executed differently (I know- there's only SO MUCH expression one can give a big IL' dumb black helmet), the use of the goofy-ass giant fish guy as a commanding general, give me a break (GMAB!), the use of what-ever-the-crap-it-was-supposed-to-be as Lando's co-pilot aboard the Falcon. Geeze, George- Those last two were primo instances to exercise your obsession with CGI!!! And since Star Trek VI and a couple of films that overused it, that silly expanding energy ring got tired BEFORE you used it in the "special edition". At least continuity was maintained- BOTH 'splodin' Deathstars had it.... (although in Jedi you get to see the sucker expand past the viewer's POV- that was sort of cool). And he did add flames to a TIE fighter spinning out of control into a Star destroyer. Adding all the additional celebration stuff at the end doesn't help the film- the lethargic Pricess Leia performance goes unexplained ("Oh Paul honey! Put down that guitar and pass me that doobie, or toss me a 'shroom button!"), making Han look like he's regressed to some naive kid with very stupid lines, Luke returning to Dagobah to "complete training" after he's already told Jabba and the 'world' that he's a Jedi (and effectively demonstrated it in spades) was a weird plot device for what? Showing the casperization of Yoda. Whoopee! Hey George! That dropping blanket after der Yoda vanishes was some hot trick, dude.... Oh and how 'bout when the rescuers are entering Jabba the Butt's palace- here we have all sorts of guises- bounty hunters of every shape and size (staying in the shadows I noticed......why? Doesn't scum and villainy have a right to party openly with the fat sluggoid? Or are they too aware of the trapdoor to Rancor land?), even Leia, disguised by a 1953 Chevy AM radio headpiece (makes me wonder what fantasy of youthdom Geo. Lucas was hung up on in that design...), IS disguised, and in comes Big IL' backstabbin' Lando in some gawd-awful seashell and bones facepiece that looks like something Gilligan made up for the 3rd Halloween party on his island.... Geeze, Dude! You own and run a magnificent skyborn floating city that has fabulous wealth written all over, and you dig up this piece of Jawa poodoo?? Now, seeing Leia in a too brief (and I sincerely believe it could have been BRIEFER) beach outfit was OK, but isn't even the thought of Yoda and humanoidal women together a bit "10 minutes past perverted"? And George did add more babage to the whole Jabba's lair sequence proving once again the old Popeye film making maxim: "Out of story substance? Add womens...." The flying cycle chase(s) are fun, as is the use of the two-legged At-At's, but the whole syrupy teddy bear Ewok stuff? Again, GMAB. May the forest be with you.