Very Disappointed

Rating: 1/10 (31 October 2009)

What's wrong with this movie?
1. Ewoks. I mean come on!!! The Empire that terrorized the galaxy and can destroy an entire planet with a single laser blast can be defeated by cute little teddy bears armed with sticks and stones? Ewoks were an obvious merchandising ploy. It's a damned shame Lucas sold out his masterpiece saga to sell a few cheap toys.
2. Luke. He's no longer the young wide eyed panicky novice we knew him as in the first two. He now plays a Mr Migagi like character who talks like he's reading a fortune cookie. "Your overconfidence is your weakness" is a perfect example.
3. Han Solo. The man who played vital roles the first two movies is now reduced to comic relief with a few unfunny wisecracks. And I'm no military expert, but how can he go from a self centered smuggling scoundrel barfly who wanted nothing to do with the rebellion against the empire to a general overnight?
4. Luke and Darth. They were furiously swinging light sabers at each other in the previous film but are now calling each other "Father" and "My son"? And when Luke said "I know there's good in you". Really Luke? He murdered your mother, mentor/teacher, aunt & uncle, your buddy Biggs, the entire planet of Alderann, and many of your rebel colleagues. He also froze your buddy Han after he tortured him for no reason, and he chopped off your hand. Where exactly do you see the "good" in him?
5. Darth Vader. The dark, menacing, most bad ass villain in movie history is now a cowering wimp in front of the emperor. Until the end of course.
6. Jabba the hut. This ugly wormlike blob who laughs like santa claus with a hangover and speaks some orcish language but always manages to throw about two or three English words into each sentence. "ME WONG UGH DOOG MA ZUL GUV OLD JEDI MIND TRICK".
7. Boba Fett. This lurking villain has little dialogue in the whole series and none at all in "Return" so why is he even in this saga? Just to end up a burp joke? What a waste.
8. The Sarlac Pit. OK first of all, who lives to be a thousand? And secondly, with no oxygen in it's belly, they'd probably be dead in less than an hour. "Slowly digested in over a thousand years"? Wow, just like when you eat a bagel.
9. The Luke/Leia sibling thing. OK George. It worked in "Empire" when you shocked your audience with Darth Vader announcing he's Luke's father. But the Luke/Leia thing was an obvious attempt for a second shocking but it missed this time. Don't you remember they tongue kissed each other on Hoth?
10. The Death Star. Where's your originality George?