Empirical Satirical

Rating: 8/10 (24 June 2007)

A better movie than its predecessor (and successors) in every way  acting, story, direction, set design, writing, and a vastly more mature interrelationship between the love triangle of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and C-3PO (I know what you're thinking, what about the triangle of Princess Leia Organa, Han Solo and Chewbacca?)
Funnier (Solo is a scream), flirtier (sexual tension between Leia and Solo is almost as strong as that between Luke and Yoda), flamier (uh, C-3PO), *The Empire Strikes Back* is the most "complete" of any *Star Wars* effort, even though it is the only movie in the series with a beginning and a middle  but no end! Full credit to the film-makers for the decision to complete the third act *in the next movie!* (I don't perfunctorily credit hack director-writer George Lucas with this decision; about the most credit I'd give him after his atrocious track record of dumb-movies-that-look-slick is creating forward momentum for projects, ensuring they get green lighted, and creating alien names which would be stupid if they weren't so funny.)
*Episode V* finds the Rebel Alliance on the ice planet Hoth, for no reason other than to flex efx muscle in the form of stop-motion Imperial "AT-AT Walkers"  probably the most poorly designed attack vehicles in the history of warfare.
Supposedly "All Terrain Armored Transport" vehicles, yet resembling sick Indricotheriums, these lumbering behemoths move at the pace of a man running through snow  an attack speed of about 5 mph - with 4 guns covering only their anterior plane, leaving everywhere else completely exposed to assault from any enemy craft that can travel faster than the average tortoise; a strategic aspect which the Rebels either ignore or are too dumb to exploit, as they fly in hell-tilt FROM THE FRONT, instead of attacking from the rear, where the AT-AT Union wouldn't pay to put gunners  probably due to new worker compensation laws pertaining to getting what you deserve if you ride in a horse's ass.
George's smart move in "Empire" was to hire a REAL director - Irvin Kershner (one of Lucas' teachers in film school). So even while the strategic lunacy of the AT-AT Walkers reeks of George's padawan paw prints, the film's other opening sequences compellingly show off the emotional ties between the love-hexagon of Han, Luke, Leia, Chewbacca and the 'droids, C-3PO and R2-D2.
Luke has flown to Dagobah where he is accosted by Yoda: Jedi Master of 900 years and Fozzy Bear for the last four (a small green Muppet that Frank Oz operates and voices), who teaches Luke handstands so that if he fails Jedi School, he could fall back on Cirque du Soleil.
Yoda's presence in this film counterpoints the frantic situations of the other characters. Amidst the furor of star wars, here was the Jesus character endorsing peace, tranquility, balance; a far cry from the scrapping avenger that Yoda would be turned into in the Prequel Trilogy, becoming more unbalanced with every Episode and by *Episode III*, light-sabering the Emperor with nary a thought about peaceable options, let alone knocking over kajillion dollar lamps and quinzullion dollar opera boxes. In creating the Prequel Trilogy, poor little Yoda was lost forever...
Yet maybe the seeds of Yoda's (and by association, humanity's) downfall are sown in this episode: why study to be a Jedi Knight, a keeper of "peace," by learning how to *battle*? If the Force informs all things and if the Jedi have tapped into that Force with their mind powers, why wield light-sabers at all? Approach anyone with a light saber dangling from your belt and that sends a pretty clear message in the *opposite* direction.
As Yoda tells it, he has been pimping Jedi Knights into the galaxy under the pretense of religious harmony for nearly a millennium. Any wonder the Empire is so FUBAR?
The grand encounter between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader in *Empire* is arguably the crux of the *Star Wars* saga. It doesn't get more pertinent, more urgent, more compelling. It is not so much the fencing  we've seen better; it is about coming-of-age, ready or not; it is the eternal struggle between fathers and sons, mentors and menials; it is the passing of the torch; it is facing up to facing down fear; it is the Dark warring with the Light in each of us  and realizing that sometimes Dark is Better; a thematic juggernaut that spans eons and topples kingdoms.
*Star Wars* is crystallized in these moments, featuring one of the greatest revelations in motion picture history, and also probably one of the most misquoted lines since, "Play it again, Sam." Vader does *not* say, "Luke, I am your father," but rather, in answer to Luke screaming, "You killed my father!," Vader thooms, "No! *I* am your father!" It still sends chills up my spine.
But let's face it  we were GLAD it was Vader, weren't we? Better than that killjoy, Kenobi, or that self-righteous prig, Yoda. We all wish Vader were *our* father  YES, take me to Rule The Galaxy, collecting tithes and tributes and slave girls; teach me the ways of Big, Black, Smooth and Cool like your bad self!
There is such magnetic resonance in the figure of Vader beseeching his son, that even though he had already been elevated to the pantheon of Great Screen Villains, yet we are caressed by his sincerity in being a sympathetic ruler and longing to reunite his family  or is that just the Dark Side drawing us in?
The series would never again scale these lofty heights of grand dramatic slam. *The Empire Strikes Back*, brimming with hilarity, humanity and paternity, is the best of the *Star Wars* series.
And that's not just our imagination.
(Read this article unabridged at: www.poffysmoviemania.com/StarWarsEmpireStrikesBack.html)