Very Disappointing Sequel

Rating: 4/10 (11 August 2006)

This may contain spoilers.
It has amazed me for 25 years or so that people consider Empire to be the best of the Star Wars movies. For me, it was perhaps the biggest disappointment of my youth. I will never forget walking out of the theatre in 1980 and remarking to my best friend: "we waited 3 years for THAT?!?!?"
So what's so wrong with Empire? I could go on at length, but essentially it boils down to 3 major problems. (1) Yoda. Yoda is the single most annoying character in the Star Wars trilogy (yes, that does include the awful Jar Jar Binks), and after a weak start on Hoth, the entire movie goes down the toilet when Yoda appears on screen. Yoda looks like a puppet (big surprise -- he IS a puppet), and sounds like every other Frank Oz character; I kept waiting for him to say "Whacka Whacka" like Fozzie Bear (I love Fozzie, in case you're wondering). The entire sequence on Yoda's home turf, which is crucial to the movie, just plain doesn't work. It doesn't look otherworldly, it just looks like a poorly lit set. (2) Lando. If we place Jar Jar as the 2nd most annoying character, then Lando is clearly a very close #3. Billy Dee Williams may be a decent actor, but you'd certainly never know it from watching this ham-fisted performance. I have difficulty believing Lando is a living entity, much less a swashbuckling former-pirate. (3) The movie has no ending; it just sort-of stops and leaves you wondering why it wasn't better. I expected, I don't know, some sort of interesting plot resolution, not just a shot of the characters looking out the window. And, yes, I know "Luke, I am your father" was supposed to be the climax. Be honest, is there ANYBODY out there who didn't see this one coming at least an hour before it happens? I was only 14 when I saw the movie, and my reaction was "yeah, no kidding."
Other low points: the wretched "ice monster" effect, the hand-puppet asteroid monster, nearly all of the acting (these are the characters we loved in Star Wars?), and especially the directing.
High Points: well, the effects are mostly amazing, particularly the asteroid sequence (other than the hand puppet). The music is great too.
I have tried for years to like this movie, convinced that I need to get over my disappointment as a teenager. It never works.