How to Ruin a Franchise in 5 Easy Steps!

Rating: 1/10 (19 December 2019)

1. Make sure once you buy the franchise, to have no original idea for the first movie, nor an overarching idea for the entire storyline, just wing it! For the first movie, try ripping of A New Hope since fans won't see the connection between blowing up the Death Star and blowing up, well... "Star Killer Base". Jesus Christ.
2. Make sure to hire directors who are clearly not big Star Wars fans, but whom will instead ensure your movies are packed with numb, 24/7 action and characters saying stuff like "THEY FLY NOW", to get a cheap laugh out of the audience. Because, who needs character development, like seeing the protagonist fail, and fail, and fail, when you can just give your main character all the abilities from the get go? She's way too overpowered, but so what? It's Star Wars!
3. You like twists? Boy are you in for a treat! Remember that big twist in Empire Strikes Back? Well, now you've got 20 twists just like that, all packed into the second and third movie! Reys family? No one! Reys family now? Palpatine!
4. When making the last movie in the saga, be sure to bring back and old face, because, well, you sort of killed you main villain in Last Jedi... But don't worry! He was a clone, apparently...? Just ignore the thousands of plot holes, and decide that now that you've brought back the scariest villain from the OT, he's not going anywhere. Also it's Palpatine. What?! Forget about how he survived the Death Star explosion, no fans will question this! Just make him old, like even older than he was in EP 6. And give him a life support system. Boom, survival explained.
5. Well! Now its time for the final showdown, and what do you do? An original fight sequence that's never been done? No, no, just rip of Return of the Jedi and have one Jedi stand alone against the Emperor, while fighting off the darkside inside her while she's watching her friends getting blowing up outside. It's literally the exact same scene from EP 6, but who will notice? It's Star Wars!