The Force is not with Disney

Rating: 1/10 (24 December 2019)

Star Wars episode nine is the worst thing to happen to Star Wars since the Last Jedi and the Holiday Special held a political rally for Elizabeth Warren. JJ Abrams is back to explain his cliche mystery box nonsense that little rian johnson just pooped all over in the last horrible star wars movie. Rey and a bunch of useless men are back again to investigate a broadcast by Palpatine. You know the villain from the good Star Wars movies because JJ Abrams is such a great writer. Kylo Ren is also back after being beaten twice by a girl who picked up a lightsaber two hours ago. Both Rey and Kylo are looking for a maguffin that will lead to another maguffin that finally get them to defeat Palpatine. What I like so much about Rise of Skywalker is that it gets things like plot, character development, compelling storytelling and logic out of the way so you can go back home and forget everything you just watched. It feels like Disney decided that plotting out multiply films was alt right so to play it safe they just decided to make up everything as they went along, which makes sense and I commend them for saving me from thinking for myself.