1 star not for hate, for wasted time

Rating: 1/10 (19 December 2019)

As an old prequel-born (yeah, I know, that's not very old but still) fan of SW Universe, I've tried enjoying the last SW movies as much as possible, despite that EP7 copied EP4 or EP8 featured canon-breaking and more philosophical scenes. I really did. I was like one of the few people who had gone "haters gonna hate" and stuff, but this movie - it's like a plan B, a second Death Star, to destroy all support in the fans who wanted some consistency.
Alright. Enough whining. Straight to the facts.
1. Palpatine has returned. My futile hope that Palpatine is alive based on the trailer is dead. This is such an annoying film cliche and a sign that your project is running out of plot, and you need to monetize it badly - you return a character from the dead. Not just a character, the character - who was the main antagonist of Darth Vader arch.
Why would you bring back another emperor after Kylo killed him already? Why couldn't you show the main conflict between Kylo and Rey? Instead, they have denominated the prophecy of Anakin, making Rey the chosen one because she brought the FINAL balance to the galaxy. Garbage and non-sense. You don't need the whole Palpatine to make Rey heroic.
2. Original trilogy patterns. Playing safe didn't work out the second time. I thought Abrams had figured out after EP7 that rehearsing the same plot looks stupid. This time, he has gone as far as making another Han Solo in Poe Dameron, a war-pilot who suddenly has connections to smugglers and underworld. If you haven't seen this transformation yet, notice how he fights with Rey the same way Solo and Leia did. You also get to see a green planet (this time it's a jungle dome).
What's really stupid is how Snoke in EP8 has shown Rey through the window that the Resistance is going to die (Like Palpatine has shown it to Luke in EP6). In EP9, there's the same scene. You don't even need to copy from the previous trilogy, you just go full-meta.
3. Missed opportunities. The fan-based theories were much more interesting to explore. The idea that Kylo and Rey could have switched sides, or that Finn could have liberated stormtroopers by telling his personal story. All these ideas would have contributed much more depth to character development.
4. Inconsistency. A good story for another time. The Chekhov's gun that never shoots. I understand that EP8 was shot by another director, two directors with different visions competing with each other at the cost of the beloved Universe. That's why you see Rey's parents being no-one and then suddenly becoming the children of Palpatine with no backstory. That's why you see that after the death of the emperor Snoke, Abrams resists and puts a "new" one anyway. That's why you see Finn being in love with Rey again. There are a lot of inconsistencies that don't make sense, and inconsistencies are a sign of a bad quality writing, which is a domain of fan-made content (there are some good fan-made SW clips though).
5. Politics. You see, I support LGBT rights. In fact, as much as I support homosexual, female, and animals rights - anyone's rights really. I also believe that a 70s-era movie should stay just that. If you put in cultural evolution as a sign that SW Universe is advancing, you might as well put in some new radical technology too. I don't mean light-speed trackers or flying stormtroopers, I'm talking Internet here. Have you seen how Finn had to transfer a message for the resistance using a long-ass cable?
I mean if you show LGBT people kissing, you might as well add other advances of the society, but that wouldn't be Star Wars then, would it? Then what's the difference between a cultural and a scientific advancement? It both ruins the magic of that world. Don't use a fairy tale for your preaching, as if this trilogy doesn't scream new age ideas. I'd be perfectly fine with that in new IP set in space, but not in the 70s-era space.
6. Ren Knights are a joke. They should have definitely used them in EP8 instead of praetorian guards.
7. Endgame ending much? I'm pretty sure they edited Iron Man's speech and just went with it.
The only thing that I liked are the first 10 minutes: mighty Kylo wiping out a settlement to find an ancient relic that leads him to dark and thundery planet, walking below the narrowest structure, going deep in the ancient temple. And then it hits you - why tf is Palpatine alive?