We Should Have All Seen This Coming...

Rating: 3/10 (13 January 2020)

The moment Disney bought the rights to Star Wars, the movies were booked a one way flight to disasterland.
Disney's lack of understanding and care for the lore and the fans is ever so paramount here. The lack of logic; suspense and care put into this trilogy is insulting. The amount of jabs they take at the original trilogy with little nuances hidden in the so-called "story"; their way of telling you that you're dumb for thinking the originals are masterpieces.
While we all sit here; angry and pissed off at this insult of a movie, they're sitting back, relaxing and wiping away their tears of laughter with their billions and billions of dollars. And it's all our fault. We gave them money. They don't care if it's good or not; they know Star Wars sells.
The plot structure is absolutely garbage, just like the story and character development. The characters all have god mode enabled and are never really in any true danger; there's no suspense or any reason to care for their well being as the trials before them are overcome with ease.
The twists are laughable; the comedy some of the worst I've ever seen in a Star Wars movie. It's like Marvel humour, but without the 20+ movies behind it to actually make the jokes make sense.
We finally find out who Rey's parents are and, while this is the only twist that was slightly unexpected, it was still utter garbage and lazily done. The movie, again, just like the two before it relies way too much on nostalgia, making the current roster of characters feel more pointless than they already are.
The only plus points to this movie are the visuals and the soundtrack (John Williams saved this movie from being a 1). But I don't go into these movies just to go like "Oooh, look ma'. Pretty things! Ooh!". No, I expect a damn Star Wars movie! Not whatever this crapshoot was!