A Mad Scramble of Cosmic Proportions

Rating: 7/10 (28 December 2019)

As everyone already knows, "The Rise of Skywalker" is the conclusion to one of the most erratic and ill-conceived trilogies in film history. "The Force Awakens" was corporatized nostalgia, with a smidgeon of newer content and characters to make it palatable. Then, "The Last Jedi" arrived, taking a massive dump on not only "The Force Awakens", but the rest of the saga. Now, "Rise of Skywalker" arrives, and it is painfully obvious that Disney did a mad scramble of cosmic proportions to tie up all the loose ends, fix the monumental mistakes of "The Last Jedi", and make the fans happy. Question is, does it succeed?
Ehhhh...
I must admit that it was great fun watching the film slowly dismantle "The Last Jedi" piece by piece. Holdo maneuver? One-in-a-million probability of success. Finn and Rose? No romance at all. Rey's parents? Her dad was Palpatine's son, not a nobody. It shreds Episode 8 with glee, and Mark Hamill is obviously relishing his main appearance, which dishes the take on Luke Skywalker in the previous film.
Additionally, Rey, Finn, Poe, and Kylo Ren are probably done better here than in either of the other two films. There's also a sense that they did actually want to respect Luke, Han, Leia, and Lando, even without retconning the events of 7 and 8. Plus, the soundtrack is phenomenal. John Williams always delivers.
However, the plot is extremely rushed, as others have stated. The film clips along at an alarming speed compared to the lackadaisical chase-scene that was "The Last Jedi", but it's almost too packed. Some scenes are too short, such as Kylo Ren finding the Wayfinder and going to Exegol, while others were wasteful and unnecessary, such as the celebration scene at the end. Palpatine's return could have been handled worse, but it wasn't necessary. The new force powers are a little suspect. And ultimately, it's trying to bridge the gap between movies that literally do not, and can not, work with each other. The only way to make this trilogy cohesive would have been to completely redo "The Last Jedi", and, if I'm being honest, "The Force Awakens" as well. As it is, we're seeing the conclusion to a trilogy that we never actually saw, and it's frustrating.
At the end of the day, I do think it could have been a lot worse, but it could have been a lot better. It's a middling adventure with some highs and plenty of lows. And while I did not hate most of it, I don't feel I can properly recommend it. My best advice: wait until it's at the Library or on Disney Plus.