JJ Abrams Is A Pimp

Rating: 1/10 (30 December 2019)

JJ is Hollywood's go-to guy for whoring out and regurgitating films. The fact he actually thinks he's a filmmaker is hilarious. While many would describe him as a crowd-pleaser, it's more accurate to say he has a certain vindictiveness towards the audience, and an antipathy for making creative movies. He hates the entire process and obviously takes a joyful glee in despoiling it.
But if you can't beat 'em, might as well join them. Hey, Disney, why not have JJ wore out the Godfather trilogy next?? Recreate all the iconic scenes for a new generation. This time Michael shoots them with an uzi! No need to make sense, just be really "nostalgic"! All I want is a small percentage of the proceeds for my genius idea. Just don't forget to include the line: "JJ Tattaglia is a pimp."