A long, long time ago in a Disneyland far, far away

Rating: 7/10 (25 December 2019)

A legendary villain resurfaces commanding a massive fleet of planet-destroying Star Destroyers, forcing the various franchise semi-Jedis, anti-heroes, and comic relief to embark on a quest to find the legendary home planet of the Sith. While better than the last entry into the canon ('The Last Jedi'), the film retreads what we've all seen before: self-agonising self-realization, last-minute heroics, quippy dialogue, overblown pseudo-mythology, predictable surprises, and an all-powerful enemy who, once again, leaves a womp-rat sized hole in his nefarious plans (this time it's a giant fleet but only one starter's pistol). On the plus side, the imagery is awesome, there are lot of entertaining nods to the earlier films, and less Rose than the last movie (and this time she's not stuck in a really stupid, pointless, side-story). Possibly salting the mine of collectables, the film introduces lots of new characters, all 2D and uninteresting, to accompany the generally bland cast (Daisy Ridley is OK as Rey). The dialogue is clunky and artificial, and the humour often forced, but the worst thing about the film (IMHO) is the endless preaching about how we all need friends... with friends we can succeed... we all need to work together, etc. That message was made in the original film with a few well placed lines, but now we have to put up with a sermony pre-climatic battle 'heroic' speech and a huge, cloying, post-climatic group-hug. The films (and maybe the fans) started taking the whole 'Star Wars' shtick too seriously, so I guess that this is a fitting end to the series. All that said, I'll continue watching the spin-offs, if only for the great design and visuals.