Could have been far worse

Rating: 6/10 (24 December 2019)

From Tatooine to Alderaan, from Ahch-To to Naboo, from Exegol to Hoth, and from Coruscant to Kijimi, fans around the galaxy are standing up and saying in a resounding voice: Episode IX was nowhere near as bad as Episode VII or Episode VIII. Finally, the Emperor Palpatine shows a flash of genius and creativity by attempting total domination through weapons which can destroy entire planets, lickety split-like.
From Poe to Finn, from Rey to Kylo, from Jannah to Rose, and from Maz to Zorii, our heroes have finally figured out the way to finally defeat the unnatural Sith and their penchants for creating and destroying life in the name of maximizing power through pure villainy: band together as friends and let it all hang out, because movies like this only come along every 42 years. Finally, the Rebel Alliance has realized all it needs is a little secret information about some empirical weaknesses stemming from over-reliance on advanced weaponry. Oh, and it would be prudent to get advice from older people who sometimes die, sometimes hide, and sometimes simply vanish into thick air.
It could have been a complete disaster, but The Rise of Skywalker is somehow a satisfying bowtie stapled squarely upon the forehead of Jar-Jar Binks.