Zero original idea, zero vision, millions of marketing dollars.

Rating: 3/10 (22 December 2019)

I had a thought watching this, "How did Disney allow this clusterfk to happen?"
But then it all made sense (or cents). It's the Disney approach to commodifying our childhood stories and fantasies and turning it into a production line, churning out identical, packaged goods all in one colour. (In other words, the same crap over and over again).
Admittedly, I wasn't terribly shocked watching this, I had time to process all the disgust from Force Awakens, so I had very low expectations. Yet it still didn't fail to disappoint.
I mean, WHAT trilogy? It's like a cringe-worthy email spat between two directors, each trying to cancel out the other's points, yet pretending to be civil. Rian Johnson at least had the balls to try to have a vision, but failed spectacularly in execution. But then again, he's inheriting the mess started with Abrams.
Now Abrams, if you remember at all from Lost, is not a trustworthy storyteller. He hoodwinked all of us into believing his increasingly tangled web of plots and subplots was going to be somehow resolved in a brilliant ending that will cement his place as one of the truly great auteurs of our time. Of course, now we know better. This is not a storyteller who is faithful to the narrative. He's a music video director, creating tantalising plot points only to dismiss them with silly or lazy answers.
And that's what Rise of Skywalker is, a music video/ 2-hour trailer. Scenes are just stringed together without rhyme or reason like Rey jumping over TIE fighter. (that's in the trailer so not a spoiler). Cool for the sake of being cool. Emperor and a huge fleet pops back out of thin air because the plot calls for it. Ending is a joke. Nonsensical action, some witty banter, some emotional moments - what a mess in the hands of a mediocre director.
Zero original ideas, zero vision. Zero emotional investment in the story. Zero chemistry between leads. Such forgettable, inconsistent characters. Can you believe this is George Lucas' Star Wars?