Do not disregard my review because I didn't like a movie, you uncritical hacks.

Rating: 1/10 (19 December 2019)

The title says it all, stop disregarding all of the negative reviews because "muh STAR WARS FANS". Now on to my actual review:
Holy hell...where do I begin with this? I guess I can say it looks nice for the most part and the soundtrack is awesome. But other than that...good lord. I didn't think ANYTHING could top how terrible The Last Jedi was but here I am once again completely stunned at Disney's sheer incompetence. In fact screw it, I'll say it: The Rise of Skywalker is one of the worst pieces of cinematic drivel I have ever seen in my life. No other film, not even THE LAST JEDI, has managed to act as more of a spit in the face towards this franchise. The plot is a contrived, clunky piece of garbage that practically farts along with bursts of desperate fanservice in order to keep fans happy while simultaneously building upon many of the plot issues that The Last Jedi had while ALSO attempting to FIX them in the worst, forced, most expository way possible. Not only does it completely flunk the lost and terrible narrative and themes that were said to be true throughout the whole trilogy in The Last Jedi, creating a trilogy that as a whole is so sexually confused about it's themes that it makes my brain numb, but also doesn't seem to understand basic pacing and writing. There are so many moments throughout the movie that had me face-palming because of how hard they were trying to get people on their side with terrible and clunky fanservice that creates MORE problems in and of itself. The fight scenes were a complete and utter bore. NO stakes whatsoever. Rey and Finn are still uninteresting piles of slop and Rey specifically feels like a physical manifestation of how not to write a character. She is literally the most powerful person, the most OP motherf%$ker in the GALAXY because she JUST IS and through the most contrived reasoning imaginable. And the ending feels like a slap in the god damn FACE, no screw it, it's a punch in the balls and teeth to the entire saga. If you're going to tell me to sit down and just watch something and turn my brain off, I don't have confidence in the movie's quality. The Rise of Skywalker is a Star Wars film on auto-pilot, it has no clue what it is doing and tries desperately and painfully to get you to like it while simultaneously destroying the franchise. Screw this movie.