Absolutely Terrible - One of the Worst Films I've Ever Seen

Rating: 1/10 (4 April 2020)

From start to finish, I couldn't get into this movie. There was nothing done with enough cinematic excellence, hell even basic cinematic competence, for me to latch on to, in order to actually care about the characters or the very convoluted plot. Right from the beginning, you're zooming past one scene and straight into another, with almost back-to-back action scenes for minutes at a time. And when there isn't an action scene zooming past, there's very fast-paced dialogue that doesn't let you sit and digest the information presented.
Then the characters are off. Rey doesn't feel entirely like Rey; nor any of the other guys (like Finn and Poe). The only character that seemed accurate was maybe Chewbacca... Their interactions were inaccurate, clunky, and forced. At times, it felt like I was watching a sitcom, or some odd TV series like "Lost" (ironically enough). And that has to do with extremely poor screenwriting. Every now and again, you'd get a great one-liner or some great dialogue (like when Poe says, "Weren't you a stormtrooper? And weren't you a scavenger? We can do this all night"). That was hilarious. But those moments were rare and fleeting in this film.
As for the plot, it's terrible -- possibly more terrible than the bad acting and cringe-worthy screenwriting. In more ways than one, they ruined nearly every plot arc that came before. The entire premise of this film just obliterates the entire point of the greatest Star Wars movie of all: "The Return of the Jedi". The whole basic idea of that movie was "Luke has succeeded where his father failed; he has defeated the Sith". But no? If there's Sith continuity, then what was the entire point of Luke's actions in The Return of the Jedi? And Rey's origins? Extremely disappointing.
Further, all they do all movie long is attempt to find a tool that will help them find a location. Borrrrrring... A movie -- especially a Star Wars movie -- can't really boil down to "we need to find X so we can then find Y". You need a little more than that, I'm afraid, to really make a great movie. And what's worse is that, even if the plot obliterates Episode VI, the entire IV - VI saga, possibly the prequels, what looked like a great start in Episode VII, and much of the progress that was made in Episode VIII, I still had hope that "maybe they can pull this ending off, anyway". But no. The entire ending is a massive unmitigated disaster. Someone sucks someone else dry of their life force, then someone else sacrifices to help that person survive, and then that person dies, and then "That's it, it's all over, happily ever after with almost zero substantive climax... where none of the story really made any sense!"...
I could go on with the many massive flaws in this "movie" (which felt a lot more like glorified fan fiction with great -- picture-wise -- cinematography behind it). But there's honestly too many to really capture in a short review. I'll just leave it at this and say that had I watched this in a theater, I could've conceivably walked out at least five times (and I am a person who almost never understands the idea of walking out on a movie)... But that's just how bad it was.
Either one star or two stars, max. That's all I can give this. It really doesn't deserve a three, in my view. And if one is being generous, I definitely wouldn't understand anything higher than a five. This is honestly THE WORST Star Wars movie I have ever seen (and I don't really enjoy Episode 1 at all... as I mostly dislike Jar Jar, and I absolutely disliked Rogue One...).
Mostly, I now consider Star Wars a dead franchise. It will continue to become more and more child-like, fantasy-prone, and less and less sci-fi and Star Wars-like. Hopefully something changes in the near future. But I honestly just don't expect Disney to succeed after watching this. George Lucas should've sold his property to someone far more worthy.