Probably the worst of the bunch

Rating: 3/10 (19 December 2019)

I watched it last night. Arguably the worst Star Wars film ever made. I'm not a hater and not a fan boy, I quite liked the Force Awakens.
Mind, I had very low expectations to begin with but they still managed to undercut them each and every way. It's worse than anything I could've ever imagined and I was expecting the worst.
I knew all the major plot points before watching it and while the plot did sound kind of dumb on paper, watching and hearing it is the true revelation. It's cheesy, dumb and silly. Even the acting is mostly horrendous.
Visually it's polished, but there isn't much else to say here except that the visuals are what you'd expect them to be. Well executed, but lacking vision. The sound is good, the music lacks in drama compared to the original score. It's all okay and production values were obviously top tier.
Tonally it was all over the place. Every scene has some silly comment by some silly, wise-cracking never before seen character who disappears shortly after only to get some strange cameo right at the end. It reminded me of a Saturday morning cartoon, which is probably an apt description of the level of suspension of disbelief required to not pull your hair out watching this trite. Like a less funny version of Spaceballs.
The characters and plot have not improved at all since the last two outings, on the contrary, it's all way worse. Nothing makes any sense at all any more.
Oh look, we finally get to see the Knights of Ren! Yes, see them you will, but not much else.
What, the bad guys have managed to build and hide the largest fleet of star destroyers ever seen (like a hundred of them) under a planets oceans surface? Without anyone knowing? How were they built, on a barren planet no less? All the while one of the main bad guys from the previous films is suddenly working as a spy for the rebellion, because of course he would (does not invalidate the previous films at all), but even with this high level spy still no one knew about the seven hundred super star destroyers?
The bad guy is hidden and can only be found using a certain star map, which leads you into and a around the inside of a nebula (in space), only for it to lead you out of the nebula afterwards and to a planet. Why? What was the point of leading you around the inside of a nebula? Do you guys even know how space works? It doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
These are just a couple of points, there's stuff like this in almost every scene in the movie, it's corny, bad and simply stupid. Disney must think we're chimps.
After all the criticism levied at the last film it's honestly a little mind boggling how this turned out the way it now is. It's a real shame, because contrary to what a lot of people say, the Star Wars universe offers plenty of material for interesting stories, just ask the Mandalorian or the Knights of the old Republic. Even Rogue One was way more interesting.
Anyway, do yourself a favor and skip this and watch The Mandalorian instead. It deserves to be seen as it captures the original Star Wars look and feel almost to e Tee, it's just so much better all around, objectively. Thank me later.
Shame on you Disney. I mean, you can't please everyone, for sure, but I think by now everyone can agree that the potential this series had, sorely wasted it was.