THE BIGGEST DISGRACE OF THE 20TH CENTURY

Rating: Null/10 (7 November 1998)

Star Wars is the absolute biggest scam in movie history. Why?
Let's think for a second. We're in 1977. A few studio guys get together. They think, "you know what, we need a big movie, so we'll spend a lot of money on great special effects". The result. A movie about a SPACE PRINCESS who needs help from some INTERGALLACTIC WARRIORS or bounty hunters to fight a VILLAIN WHO ALWAYS WEARS BLACK, talks with a scary voice and even is upstaged by the EMPEROR OF THE UNIVERSE. Complete wtih LIGHT SAVERS (shiny sword-type weapons that are lasers), and even a little green puppet, Star Wars is absolutely pathetic. But you know what the worst part about it is? The only reason people saw the movie was because it was 1977 and no one had seen special effects that were THAT good. If any movie today were to open back then like, ummm, I don't know, Starship Troopers, it would've gotten the same accolations. Let's flip things for a second. Let's say Star Wars opened July 4th weekend, it would be thrashed by a B movie like Armageddon. Why? Because the public wouldn't pay attention to a movie with such a corny plot. With the special effects of today, Star Wars would just get passed along as if it were Meet the Deedles. Yet you gotta admit, the studio was very smart. You spend some money making a pointless movie with lots of special effects and some bizarre outerspace plot that doesn't make sense and what do you get? The 2nd highest grossing movie of all-time, #15 on the AFI's 100 Best List, unbelievable fan devotion from nerds and 40-50 year olds who want to feel nostalgic, and even 2 sequels and 3 prequels. Wow. Star Wars, congratulations! Your pointless franchise robbed Americans of about $1 billion dollars combining the first three sequels. Possibly the biggest disgrace in film history.