Its a scary world of Gay Robots, Phallic Slugs the ultimate metaphor for aids: The force

Rating: 1/10 (23 November 2006)

We thought wed start with at the beginning with few of the best things from Star Wars A new hope: Sand people attack, The force, Luke's first 'lightsaber', The Milenium Falcon, Han kills 'Greedo', Jabba the 'hut', Men in white plastic armour, Obi wan kenobi, Gay robots, Darth Vader 'Dark Father', The Dagobah system, "Who's the more foolish: The fool, or the fool who follows him?", The death star, Wookies.
If you agree with our comprehensive list of the 'best' bits of George Lucas' 'Space Opera' we ask simply this: What is wrong with you? Just take a quick glance at the list above: Greedo? Jabba the Hut? Who in their right mind comes up with this stuff? Therefore our argument boils down to this: George Lucas is insane, his films reflect his mental state. Its a scary world of Gay Robots, Phallic Slugs the ultimate metaphor for aids: the force.
It's not even as if this insanity is presented through good direction, great acting, stunning music and outstanding CGI, that would be OK. But it just isn't. The weak, clichéd and teenage male sexual fantasy plot provides the rotten structure that the entire saga is based around, its cheesy, poorly written tripe coupled with a sci-fi backdrop. Only in a George Lucas' crazy little world can a line like: "I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home" make any sort of sense. Bad news George it doesn't translate well out of your crazy little head. The hype born from the fact that this mess of a film was another 'first' of its generation continues to boost the movie up to seemingly everyones top ten list, don't believe this hype. Yet again this film is overrated, shockingly bad interstellar faeces.