A Load of Sith: Stop at a bar for an hour beforehand and perhaps you'll enjoy this flick

Rating: 3/10 (21 May 2005)

After reading a glut of positive comments about this film prior to seeing it last night, I'll admit...the hype almost had me fooled. I thought perhaps I'd finally come away satisfied from one of the Star Wars prequels. Let me dispel your notions. ROTS is certainly the best of the 3 "new" Star Wars, but if you've seen the last 2 and have any cinematic taste, you know that isn't saying much. So, I felt compelled to add some "balance" to the range of opinions on this site.
The reason this film is the best of the 3 is because it tells the story we wanted to see all along when we found out new films were coming. TPM and AOTC appear more futile than ever as mere filler to get to this point. The framework of the original movies remains strong regarding the transition of a major good character to an evil monster. Even the means by which this is accomplished is somewhat plausible (perhaps George had this in mind in the beginning). So the plot is reasonable, but that I think is because it rests so heavily on Stars Wars history as established by the originals. Unfortunately, the critical moment is too quick to be convincing. One second Anakin is restless and still struggling to do the right thing and the next he seems to have clearly made a choice. Of course the other reason the scene is not believable is because the acting is so dreadful.
Even given some plot and 2 prior chances, our actors are still unable to provide convincing performances. All the moments that made you cringe in the last 2 are here, save Jar Jar. And here are some words you hoped you'd never hear a Star Wars character say. "I'm pregnant" "I can go on ahead to Naboo and fix up the baby's room". There remains no chemistry between Hayden and Natalie and although the love story is central to Anakin's demise - it can't work because the viewer does not believe that love is present. Granted, the script and dialogue are poor, but I can't understand why these people are getting millions for performances that are NO BETTER than a high school play. It's all been said before so let me complain about something else: effects.
George should take a lesson from his characters and their corruption in the face of absolute power. The man did wonders in creating the effects business and the way it's done and now that the world is at his feet with the power to do just about everything thanks to CGI: that's exactly what he does. And it's too much! Many of the comments here rave about ILM and the effects and I should say first off that I don't want to disparage their effort. I know that a tremendous amount of time, love and computing cycles went into this film. But how much visual garbage do you need? There are so many little droids and so many ships in the fight scenes that it's meaningless. There are doodads everywhere. Even in the end, in the middle of a critical fight between Obi-Wan and Anakin, a little droid pops its head in and watches for a second then leaves. What in the world is the point of that? To distract you from the terrible acting? Not only is there too much noise and commotion, the characters are too weird. Since models are no longer needed for effects shots, nothing is grounded in reality. The original series showed us creatures and worlds that were spectacular and imaginary, but you could still get your mind around them. Here that is no longer the case. If you witness the ridiculous lizard-like creature that Obi-Wan rides as he battles Grievous, you'll know what I mean. The CGI is way over the top and if this is what it takes to entertain the MTV generation, then "No, thank you."
Final observation. The political overtones of the movie are apparent. If you cringe when you hear Ewan McGregor cry out that he's loyal to the republic and to "DEMOCRACY!" you'll know what I mean. Another reason that the movie didn't work for me is that we've come full circle. My girlfriend expressed it like this... In the original trilogy, the Empire is the British and the rebels played on all of our underdog American revolution ideals. Now, Lucas would have us believe that America is the republic that becomes the Empire in the midst of an unnecessary war to distract us. Again, no thank you.
I know this probably won't save you from giving your money to George. It's the final new Star Wars movie *Thank God* and you'll probably have to see it. It's a testament to the strength of the original trilogy that so many people will endure this crap just to catch a brief glimmer of the magic of the original Star Wars.