I've seen better

Rating: 3/10 (22 May 2005)

So like everyone else, this weekend I went to the movies to see Episode III: Return of the Sith. I was optimistic that, perhaps, George could redeem the attempts at what he calls his prequels with this one. Really it's was, or at least I was thinking the plot was fool proof, Darth Vader is born, disarray and upheaval comes to the galaxy, and the empire is born but Lucas seemed to, or at least I feel he, just let an amazing story go the way of the fishes. I was raised on Star Wars. Episodes 4, 5, and 6 are some of the first movies that I have recollection of and as a fan of those three I have to ask two things. First, where's the character development, George? I walked into the theater each time to see one of these movies and I walked out feeling that I had wasted my time, you know sort of the feeling that you get when you watch one of those bad straight to video Disney sequels, something that just shouldn't have been made. And no offense meant to the actors, you can't exactly point the finger and say the bad acting is they're fault, I mean really if the script is bad the acting will be horrific as well. Really, myself and more than half of the people in the theater found ourselves laughing at parts that really just shouldn't have been funny. But seeing big, bad, cold, 'Luke, I am you father' Darth Vader done up just right with that nice wax coat on his helmet brought a tingle to my heart, until he has an emotional breakdown moment (in the voice of James Earl Jones) and the moment becomes relatively laughable. And Padme, mother of Luke and Leia, all I can say on that note is after watching this movie I had the distinct feeling that George couldn't wait to knock her up and then knock her off. Of course I know that's how the story goes but if I'm paying 10 bucks to see this I want it feel my heart strings being pulled instead of thinking that my butt is sore. With Padme though, I think there was a serious injustice done to her character, well actually all the characters except for Yoda(I'll touch on that in a moment). But returning to Padme, she goes from Queen of Naboo with attempts on her life and leading a rebellion to retake her planet, to a Senator but yet once again escaping assassination attempts to pregnant wife and lap dog. Though I have to give Lucas credit in the fact that she's killed by the one person she always thought would have protected her. The movie did contain some decent moments, and I return to my mention of Yoda. Yoda makes the movie! Anyone who can't love the proverbial Yoda is missing out when they see episode III simply because the rest will either bore you to tears or flash you to death with flips and light sabers. And touching on that note I have one other major question to pose, what's with the light saber fighting, George? Where's the honor in the flips and twirls of a light saber? Don't get me wrong, it looks cool but it creates an issue. I won't hit on the inconsistencies between the first and second trilogies; they're pretty apparent to those who've seen them. I really think we're being blinded by the flips and lights and the "oooo's" and "ahhh's" of the graphics that we've lost the integral part of the story. Lucas sold his artistic child, his first creation for a light show and some special effects. Just think about it though, you watch episodes 4, 5, and 6 and you run the gambit of emotions and yet with episodes 1, 2 and 3, which are supposed to be more dramatic and more tear jerking, I left the theaters thinking " wow, that sucked and I didn't even get to see Jar Jar Binks get wasted." So what am I trying to say with this, simply two things: one you can go to the theater to see the movie, spend the twenty bucks on tickets and popcorn if you want. Just don't expect to be blown away. My recommendation is to wait on it, cause guaranteed it won't take to long for Lucas to want to further this financial venture with DVD's and such, but if that's too long for you, get the bootleg version for cheap and enjoy it in the comfort of your own home. At least that way when you get up your butt won't be sore and you can skip ahead or just turn the movie off when you feel you've had enough.