CRAP special FX (+where are the women?)

Rating: 3/10 (24 September 2005)

The sad thing about this film is that it gives you a tantalising glimpse of what might have been had George Lucas got his head out from his own rear end and decided to make another trilogy of decent films.
Revenge of the Sith, in my opinion, just about managed to touch on the quality of the originals , presumably because only a complete idiot could have failed to at least find some kind of plot to structure it around. Nevertheless we are still forced to endure the self indulgent ramblings back and forth from planet to planet, just so that Lucas can show off his CGI abilities. The scripting is still terrible. The acting remains universally wooden, with the exception of Ian McDiarmid as the Emperor, who over acts ridiculously to compensate, to the point of more or less forsaking that saccharine sinisterness that gave Return of the Jedi most of its character. Even though this film is really entirely character centred, Lucas demonstrates once and for all that he is completely devoid of any understanding of, or sympathy for, character.
A New Hope was a very simple film which did not require him to tackle the difficult task of character development, which was why the first Star Wars was able to ride on the quality of its actors, who brought the film to life and made it believable. Lucas' lame attempts at character in ROTS, on the other hand, just seem laughable to me, such as the shallow and predictable idea that Annakin turns to the dark side purely because of a dream he has!
The biggest character conversion in the film, to me, is not Annakin but Obi Wan, played by the apathetic McGregor, who goes from Annakin's best friend to worst enemy over night. At no point are we given the impression that Obi Wan is wrestling with the thought of killing his life long best mate and apprentice and I found it impossible to equate this cruel and seemingly remorseless individual with the fatherly old jedi of later films.
To my mind, the reason the originals were so visually alluring to young eyes, was that they took elements of the familiar and put them in a space setting. Luke may have been fighting massive mechanical walkers, but he was doing so on a completely REAL ice field. In the opening scenes of Empire there was the real feeling that he was up against the elements in the coldest place in the Galaxy. The droids actually got dirty! This was what ultimately made them believable. Can anyone seriously say that they think the visuals in any of the prequels are better than the originals? To my eyes ROTS looked just like a cartoon, and you could tell that the whole film was structured around what scenes Lucas wanted to fit in. At no point was there any sense of reality to the war that was going on. Even the light sabre duels were ridiculously over choreographed and bereft of any drama. The "grand finale" of Annakin and Obi Wan floating down the river of lava looked completely FAKE.
The only new characters Lucas has chosen to add to this trilogy are probably the most hated character in the history of cinema and Samuel L. Jackson playing Samuel L. Jackson. Why has he not taken the opportunity of any of these films to create a single female character other than the insipid Padme? Is he a misogynist as well as a terrible director and writer?
I saw an interview with him in which he said that when he came to make ROTS he realised he had enough material to make three films and had to squash it in to one. Hang on a minute, but didn't he just make two other films and fill them up with instantly forgettable, plot free drivel? And now he's saying he could have made three films about what we all wanted to see!! The man has a lot to answer for. All he cares about is money and ego or he would at least have got some decent script-writers on the job like in Empire and Jedi.
In some ways Phantom and Clones were more tolerable: you just watch it and, like with so many other Hollywood blockbusters, just wish you never wasted your money. With Sith you have a genuine feeling that the concept was there to make a true masterpiece, which makes you feel downright insulted by the whole thing. I honestly think maybe Lucas wanted to see just how crap a film he could convince the kind of gormless morons bigging it up on this sight to like! I'll bet he's having a right laugh right now at Skywalker Ranch.