Oh......Mercy

Rating: 1/10 (6 August 2005)

One of the worst movies I've ever seen. I couldn't wait for it to be over. Here are some reasons why:
Yoda -- In the first 3 movies Yoda's way of talking was kinda enduring and he certainly didn't mix up every sentence. Sam Jackson should have sorted him out and said something like "looky here n*gger, your jive ass way of talking is driving everyone nuts, hear is a phone number of a speech therapist".
The Emperor -- I didn't mind this guy so much, but when he was talking to Anakin on the balcony about some serious developments, at the end of his chat he decides to show Anakin one of his new Mr. Bean impersonations!
CGI -- Far too much, not convincing and terribly confusing. Less is more George.
Script -- As bad as it gets. Why didn't anyone tell George how bad it was before production?
The Fights -- The one of Anakin and Obi Wan was unintentionally hilarious. As it starts they are about 2 inches away from each other and both start madly swing their light sabers not once connecting, what a couple of knuckle heads.
General Grievous -- What's with this guy? I wasn't sure whether he was a seriously heavy smoker or had swallowed a fur ball, his cough just didn't make sense and was never explained.
Anakin / Vader -- Hayden Christensen is not a good actor, in fact he is not even competent, and is certainly not helped by an embarrassingly bad script. And his motivation for turning to the dark side? He dreamt his wife was going to die, so what's the first thing he does as Vader? Try to kill his wife, naturally. This is just so idiotic. And the Frankenstein rip off scene was ludicrous, I mean his life was saved, he got a brilliant new outfit to wear and then he lets out a Principal Skinner "Noooo!" he should have shouted "Yippie!"
I could go on and on (and probably have a bit), I suppose I enjoy disliking this movie. And when I watch the 3 original movies I will wonder what made Vader turn to the dark side, it certainly didn't happen the way George told it. The only winner is C3PO, he got his memory erased.