You can write this s***...

Rating: 4/10 (3 January 2007)

So here, at last, it is, the missing piece in the 'Star Wars' jigsaw. And for anyone who's seen the preceding two parts, you'll know what to expect: visual overload, a semi-comprehensible plot, Ewan MacGregor delivering a passable impersonation of the late Alec Guinness, and ponderous dialogue that, as Harrison Ford said of the original movie, you can write but you sure as hell can't say. But that movie was actually quite good; instalment six, on the other hand, is (like its two immediate predecessors) a film made by someone who's forgotten how to make films. So much is wrong, not least the attempt to depict the story of the old Republic as a fight for "democracy", a term used without any understanding of what it means. While many have deplored the boring intrusion of political themes into the three 'Star Wars' prequels, the real problem with the politics is really that it is so badly done: we get episodic action scenes interspersed with summary information about the underlying power struggle, which seems to leap between states with little rationale and no force of dramatic development. For example, take the start of this movie, which presents us with the scenario of the kidnap of the galactic Chancellor by an alliance of his two leading enemies, but with no attempt to explains the purpose behind this feat, or the means by which it was achieved. The rest of the film continues in a similar vein: the Republic's eventual fall, around which all six movies pivot, unfolds almost risably.
A few odd details to finish this review. Firstly, droids make bad villains: General Grevious, in spite of his great name, is the most boring character in the entire cycle. Secondly, Geroge Lucas at least makes some attempts to correct for the failings of his two previous movies, relegating Jar Jar Blinks to a single scene, devoid of dialogue; while the strange continuity error introduced into episode two, when C-3P0 visited somewhere he apparently saw for the first time in episode four, is explained by having his memory wiped (for no good reason except to tidy up the loose end). The real extent to which this film fails, however, is shown in Lucas's absence of courage, when he fails to end the film with its one truly powerful moment, when Annakin Skywalker dons the mask and becomes Darth Vader. Even after almost 30 years, the Vader figure still inspires immediate terror: you might think he would make quite a good bad guy in a film. Which in fact he does (or rather, did) in part one (i.e. episode four); but not in this movie.