The saga is complete, and not a moment too soon.

Rating: 1/10 (24 May 2005)

Yes, I've heard it all before. "Nobody goes to see Star Wars for the story or the acting, yadda-yadda-yadda . . ." However, there are limits. When a movie is so bad that you start to do a Rocky Horror in the theatre, there is a problem. And that's exactly what I started doing (key word: "Pants!").
Everyone knows George Lucas can't direct, or write convincing dialogue, but he outdoes himself here. Even Laurence Olivier would choke on lines like, "Hold me. Hold me like you did on Naboo." Pity Nathalie, Ewan, Hayden, Samuel and all the rest. Some brilliant actors look like fenceposts in this movie.
Then we have the gaping plot holes a gang of drunken Jawas could drive a Star Destroyer through. Here are two (spoilers ahead):
1) Anakin thinks that Padme might die during childbirth. Let's disregard the fact that this is a very rare event in 21st Century North America (let alone the galaxy far, far away). Wouldn't Senator Padme have the smarts/resources to find a good medical droid, have herself checked out, then wipe the droid's memory? And if there *was* a danger, perhaps test tube the kid(s)? Maybe she could claim a divine birth (Hey, it worked for Anakin's mom!).
2) The fact that Padme is packing twins is only revealed near the end of the movie. Hadn't the galaxy far, far away ever heard of Ultrasound Imaging?
Bonus stupidity: when the droids cart Anakin into the hospital for his Darth Vader make-over, they allow rain to fall on his severely burned body. WTF?
Pluses:

The visual effects were spectacular (duh). If Lucas had spent half the time on his story that he spent on the FX, this movie would've been a hell of a lot better.

Ian McDarmuid (Palpatine) deserves an Oscar as the only actor who could rise above the wretched material. His scenes were the only ones worth watching.

Yes, I love Star Wars Episodes IV, V & VI. Flawed as they are, they still hold up as fun, entertaining movies with characters I care about. Episode III has all the flaws of the first series, with none of the virtues. See it for completion's sake, if you must, but don't buy the DVD or the mountain of associated toys.