A movie that only succeeds on the merits of lowered expectations...

Rating: 1/10 (22 February 2013)

People have really lowered their standards in many aspects of life. Unfortunately this has also crept into the standard of entertainment we all watch. Let's face a simple truth: after the turd that was episode 1 and the arguably much worse episode 2, anything was bound to look far better by comparison. But when comparing the original trilogy to the prequel turdigy, I want you to consider the themes. Really, what ARE the themes in any of the prequels, even 3? If you're going to say anger for episode 3, that's fine but how does this one theme make this movie any good?! In order for us to enjoy this kind of film we need to have a protagonist we all clearly identify with! And do we identify with any of the Jedi? You might identify with Padme, but she doesn't really do anything except pout, cry and shoot some lasers. She's not a strong character with dimensions like Princess Leia.
I want you the viewer to honestly contemplate this question... why do you think Revenge of the Sith is a good or great film? If it's because of the story, there really isn't one, the lifeless, one-dimensional characters like Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan and Padme Amidala drift along through a predictably boring series of events to an inevitable conclusion that isn't dramatic, surprising or the least bit fun.
I say Anakin Skywalker and Padme are one-dimensional characters because they are very limited in how well they are written as characters. So to be fair, the bad acting may not be just due to the actors but poor directing and writing. Anakin is just angry all the time and doesn't know how to exercise self-control and doesn't even try. He was never a good man because ever since he became a man, he was always the antithesis of everything the Jedi taught. This doesn't just go against how Obi-Wan described him in episode IV, but it also makes the main character very limited, very unsympathetic and as a result you're left sad and empty and wondered why Luke still thought there was good in Anakin at all.
The major problem though is the writing. It just isn't there. I want you to consider what was the point of Revenge of the Sith, or for that matter, ANY of the Star Wars prequels? Because the characterizations were always poor. The Jedi in the prequels were always the same: passive and emotionless drones who spit out empty platitudes and never have any ability to use their powers to sense true evil then take action against it until it's already too late. (Swinging lightsabers in an arena against a bunch of pawns doesn't count). Consider how many times you see the Jedi walking side by side talking about plot exposition and for how long that sort of thing goes on for. And when they're not well-written, the characters are often being inconsistent. We saw in episode 2 that Padme was always flat-out spurning not just Anakin's advances, but him as a person. Then for SOME reason she falls in love with him shortly after he confesses to murdering women and children. But then in episode 3, Anakin murders people(including CHILDREN) and she gets all weepy and worried. You can't have it both ways!!! You either write consistent characters or you risk making a sub-par piece of Bantha poodoo.
One of the best examples of inconsistency among the characters is when Anakin comes to Palpatine's rescue on Coruscant where he quickly runs into shot then he suddenly and inexplicably slows his pace for no reason. Then... instead of fighting with Mace Windu, we get the cheapest death of all time when Anakin chops off his arm and Palpatine zaps Mace out the Windu... I mean window.
Ask yourself... what is at stake in this movie? Is anybody really in any sort of danger? We know Anakin's not going to die, we know Padme's not going to die(Even though she did in this movie anyway and that's ANOTHER contradiction with Return of the Jedi), we know Obi-Wan and Yoda are safe from harm. The only characters in any sort of danger are the tertiary ones and we already KNEW they would get wiped out! Again, episode 4 DISCLOSED that information to us! So what important events took place in the prequels that weren't made known in the original Star Wars trilogy? Well.... Ummm...
It breaks down simply to this: Anakin was good once(But really wasn't), then he became Darth Vader. He betrayed, helped hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights, betrayed and "murdered" Luke's father. These are important events to be sure... but ALL disclosed within episode IV! Was Palpatine's rise to power all that important? No, because it wasn't really important to the framework of the story. Sure, it pretends to, but it's meaningless and it's impotence to be an important part of a universe where politics has replaced the exciting drama and tension of the original trilogy.
I'll tell you what I tell everyone else about Star Wars, skip the prequels and stick with the original Trilogy.