Darth's Draggy Debut

Rating: 4/10 (23 February 2010)

I checked out of the "Star Wars" target demographic long ago, and can only look at the newer films with disengagement. Is it me, or is it writer-director George Lucas?
The third installment in the now-complete six-film saga, "Revenge Of The Sith" puts into place the backstory of the "Star Wars" series's best-known character. We see young Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) fall away from his Jedi teachings and friend Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor), pledge allegiance to an evil emperor, and become a Sith Lord named Darth Vader.
The great thing about the first three Star Wars movies, the ones known now as Episodes IV, V, and VI, was that they were fun. That element has been largely missing in the later prequel trilogy. "Revenge Of The Sith" is a case in point.
Things begin messily but promisingly as Anakin and Obi-Wan sneak into a starship in the middle of a battle. The banter is stale, and the CGI and blue-screen effects make for an artificial feeling. Yet as the pair wiggle in and out of elevator shafts and cut through battle droids, I recalled some of the excitement and energy of Luke and Leia in the Death Star.
After that, thrills are few. Convoluted politics and unconvincing dialogue dominate the film, along with pitched battles never lasting more than a few seconds on screen. Lucas doubles down on the weakest element of Episode II, Anakin's romance with Padme (Natalie Portman). For long sequences, the two stand like statues delivering wretched lines like these:
"You are so beautiful."
"It's only because I'm so in love."
"No, it's because I'm so in love with you."
It's not the actors' fault. In Lucas's hands, all the characters, except the distinctively different Yoda, speak with the same wooden voice. McGregor does carve out something interesting this time, an approximation of Alec Guinness's voice and acting style. It's a touching tribute, but a bit off. "Revenge" works harder at setting the stage for Episode IV than at forging an identity of its own.
Anakin's transformation into Darth is what "Revenge" is about, and where it fails most. Fears of Padme dying cause his fall from grace, tapping childhood abandonment issues. Never mind that Padme is healthy enough at present, or that the Sith Lord seducing Anakin is so transparent most of us had him figured out in Episode I. We see Anakin sulking at Jedi council meetings and killing a helpless prisoner, yet when he finally switches into Darth it's too sudden to convince.
We do get a decent light-saber battle between Darth and Obi-Wan on a volcanic planet. Any "Star Wars" fan will enjoy the first appearance of Darth in his signature helmet and gear. But it's a long wait, and the portentious, pretentious "Revenge" doesn't reward your patience as much as test it.
"Revenge" deserves credit for attempting to tie together two sets of loose ends, those from the prequels and from Episode IV. But on its own, it's just not enough fun.