Nothing like taking a shower at the movies: 'Dynasty' in deep space throttle!

Rating: 3/10 (21 May 2005)

With a film that supplies as much soap and sudziness as this, just bring an "Evian" water and add a bit to the mix and you will be clean within the first ten minutes. With the inevitability coming along from the first two installments, the audience already knows what is going to happen, so why throw in any surprises? It won't do any good, and so they didn't. Almost predictable in every way, this film follows the after adventures of Padme and Anakin Skywalker, after "Episode II" and their secret love affair(played out a la Pamela Barnes Ewing and Bobby Ewing, with awful results) and it's affects on Skywalker, apparently this is one of the key factors in why he became Darth Vader. No, there is no way this could have been enjoyable. The characters are all running around doing nothing and Yoda's little "Dialogue-This is" speeches are played out way too much and far too blandly. But that isn't all when it comes to the dialogue. All the words and actions are so cardboard, the film as a result, comes out uninvolved and totally lacking in everything that made the first three(or the last two for that matter) worth one single viewing!
The drama is played out way too much like a soap opera, consisting of Sex, Greed, Politics, backstabbing, and betrayal-i.e. "Dynasty" in deep space throttle. Where are the meanings in the scenes or actions? Where is the social commentary that the first three contained. Nowhere here. This was such a waste of time and money, from audience and filmmakers. Do yourselves a favor and just trust what you learned in "A New Hope" for a replacement of knowledge rather than seeing this much. Totally uninvolved, and too soapy. Might as well watch "Dynasty" on Soapnet!
I give it a three for James Earl Jones return and for the always reliable John Williams score that never ceases to amaze, and what is really the sole rock this film can (barely) stand on.