The Saga is Not Yet Over

Rating: 5/10 (22 May 2005)

I'm an occasional fan of Star Wars films. So I don't want to sound like a detractor of George Lucas and his ILM Northern California Kingdom. Nevertheless, don't be fooled for a minute that Lucas is finished with his SW storytelling. If 'Episode III' topples "Titanic" off the #1 moneymaker spot, rest assured the director will be working double-time on 'Episode VII.'
Let's keep the film reviews simple, folks... Most of us know the characters' names (and the actors who played them), the family tree, the names of the imaginary creatures and planets, the military ranks...Lord Almighty, will this Star Wars obsession ever end? Answer: It won't.
So save your breath and just enjoy the explosions, the digital-effects being mastered, tweaked and somewhat perfected (it's all too superimposed and forcibly rammed down my throat, but that's just one person's opinion).
If you're a die-hard SW fan, you'll squeal with delight at what you see and hear in 'Episode III.' But the effects are nothing you haven't already seen in films like "Volcano," "Independance Day" and the five previous SW films...more luminescent weapons, more PG-13 dismemberments, more baked-brittle dialog, more wooden acting... OK, that actress with the Cinnabon hairdo does a serviceable job emoting tears, but that's really all there is in the thespian department, unless your a 150-year-old British-RADA actor.
And the overall monumental impression on us, the viewer, is that all of this verbally-vacuous hubbub and crash-boom will all be over soon. Again the answer is 'It won't.'
If you ask me, I'm going to buy the DVD only if it's on sale for $9.99...nothing's worth $20-plus-tax if I've already seen it in other film franchises. Like my willingness to pay only 50%, I draw a line right down the middle of this movie and give it a generous 5-Stars. Heck, in restaurants and hotels, that's the best rating as far as I'm concerned.
Warning: If you're not a SW fan, you'll most likely fall asleep. I have two friends that accompanied me to an 'EP III' viewing and they were able to catch a couple of winks despite all the film's 'fire and brimstone.'
It isn't my intention to keep you from watching 'Episode III' (as if anybody had that power), but to give you a much needed reality check. SW films (and related merchandise, soundtracks, costumes, etc.) will be with us for years to come. But there's nothing on this planet that would ever possess me, and make me want to pitch a tent in front of the box-office to watch this or any other film.