lame..lamer...lamest!

Rating: 3/10 (30 May 2005)

OK I went to see EP1-LAME. I controlled my skepticism and went out to see EP2- LAMER! And I just today saw EP3. LAMEST of the whole SW world! Geez, You'd think that after 5 films and almost 30 years, Lucas would have had a good story to tell, but alas, that wasn't the case. Ep1 and Ep2 had plenty of room to start drawing threads together enough to have made Ep3 a truly awesome film, but instead, Lucas chose to end the entire SW universe not with a spectacular wave of great acting, deep heartfelt emotion, and great story telling, but instead with an embarrassing and really smelly fart. A one-hundred and forty minute fart at that.
I won't even begin to start going into too much detail but there are some things that simply must be addressed here. ONE- THE ACTING. I have never in all my life seen more dead delivery of dialog (such as it was...more on that in a sec) issuing forth from a group of so called actors mouths. Everyone's performance was so wooden it was attracting termites. Even Ewan McGregor was awful to watch. The only almost passable acting job was probably Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor Palpatine and that was still a long one.
As to the script, 3 gifted 12 year olds could have written more believable dialog. And no, George, 100 million dollars of blinding hi-resolution CGI will not buoy a crappy script up. Go to a theater and watch this abortion and you'll see what I mean.
The story was muddled, the sounds were clear but boring... every spacecraft or aircraft sounded like a motorcycle... the CGI even got tiring.
George, can I have my five dollars back?