What the hell happened?

Rating: 2/10 (16 October 2005)

Finally, I get to put in my two cents about SW3. I'll probably buy the DVD anyway just because, but after reading some of these comments, I've got to speak my mind, at least plot-wise. First off, the best villains are the ones who believe that what they are doing is right, like religious fanatics. Some people will commit horrible crimes because they believe that what they are doing is for the greater good. Anakin (Christensen), as Doctor Evil would put it, just wasn't evil enough, he was quasi-evil. He just didn't fit the part and he had all the wrong reasons to be. It would have been more believable if maybe Anakin was a bad seed from the get go, but he wasn't. Yeah, sure he was a brat and immature, but that doesn't make somebody evil. In my mind, Darth Vader was up there with Hilter, Saddam Hussein, in those big boy leagues. Now, I see Darth Vader as just a cry baby, punk b***h. For instance, I thought for sure that Tom Cruise was going to make a terrible vampire but he pulled it off nicely and proved everybody wrong. Sad to say Christensen didn't with his part. Secondly, the Jedi Council deserved what they got for being so militarily and politically incompetent. They couldn't even put two and two together that Anakin and Padme got married or they simply looked the other way with those two living in sin. Jedi can't marry (the equivalent of a monk) but it's okay to have pre-martial sex it seems. Also, where were the Jedi women? It's hard to believe the Jedi Council didn't have more female warriors. At least the movie could have given us some sexy Jedi women jumping and spinning around. Third, why would Obi Won leave Anakin to burn like that. Even Anakin gave Dooku a merciful death, but good ole Obi Won just let his "brother" catch on fire and watched as he burned. Very un-Jedi like don't you think? Finally, the Emperor deserved his victory. He forged his own empire, hide from the Jedi in plain sight, converted Anakin, and destroyed the Jedi pretty much single-handedly. Bravo, job well done. What did the the Jedi have...let me see, an army of Jedi Masters full of wisdom and knowledge and they still managed to screw it all up.
Here's my take on a plot, Padme, Obi Won, and Anakin caught up in a love triangle. Anakin comes back home from a mission given to him by Obi Won and finds them in bed together. Leah could have been Obi Won's love child and Luke could have been Anakin's. Or some new twist to the story that nobody could have guessed at. I know, lame right, but at least it's more interesting than the (ahem) plot we were given and more of a reason to turn on Obi Won and the Jedi after feeling betrayed like that and not just some dream.
Okay, final gripe I swear. Why didn't Yoda and Obi Won take Luke and Leah and train them? Why risk Vader or the Emperor finding out about them? Didn't Yoda complain that Luke was too old to train? If he was, he had only himself to blame for it. Yoda and Obi Won could have done it right and made up for all the stupid mistakes they made. How come Vader knew Luke was his son but he didn't sense it from Leah? Weren't they brother and sister? Leah had memories of her mother and Luke didn't but Vader somehow senses, out of thin air with no connection whatsoever, that he is Luke's father but not after torturing Leah. Yeah right.