Lucas: a toymaker who sometimes makes movies to sell his toys

Rating: 4/10 (24 May 2005)

Stunning visuals, breathtaking CGI sequences, hardcore light-sabre battling, but ultimately unimaginative, unsatisfying and - worst of all - boring.
Lucas just isn't a director like his buddy Spielberg. He's a dreamer, a storyteller, a screenwriter if he tries very, very hard - but the novelty of his fresh and unique directorial ideas has worn very thin now we're on the 6th installment. The once-genius transitional wipes now are beginning to look as random and childish as they always were, the multi-coloured laser beams are beginning to complement the toy-like appearance of his sets and ships, and the poorly imagined, highly implausible evil aliens just no longer carry the charisma of Jabba the Hut.
Of course, the previous paragraph might come off as an attack on science fiction as a whole, but that couldn't be further from the truth. The truth is that Lucas does science fiction a crime with this film, because the magic of sci-fi comes from a suspension of disbelief that Lucas has clearly lost himself. He isn't taking himself seriously anymore, he no longer loves his story, and he just wants to get it finished. His plot is thin, his action contrived, his love scenes bring vomit to the back of even the soppiest girl, and his villains make comic books look like legal documents. Lucas didn't put one ounce of creative energy into this film.
And that shows throughout. The entire film has absolutely no plot, and consists entirely of the good guys killing the sub-sub-sub-bad-guy, the sub-sub-bad-guy, then the sub-bad-guy, and then finally the bad-guy. It feels like laboriously watching what you already know is going to happen, in the light of the fact that this film is closing the gap towards the 4th film that millions of viewers know off by heart. And it doesn't even do it in a surprising or interesting way. In fact, the preconceptions one brings into the movie about how it will draw out the story are better than the laser-like linearity of what one receives.
If we set these sorts of complaints aside, of course, we may enjoy the film purely in virtue of its action sequences. But these too become boring within a few minutes. The problem is that Lucas seems to have imagined that if he simply made the fights faster than ever before, we'd be thrilled more than ever before. In actual fact he's made them so fast that you can't appreciate what's actually going on. Instead you receive incomprehensible swirls of light-sabre light without any artistry or grace. Indeed, because each fight is so incomprehensible, it feels as if they are dragged on arbitrarily. And likewise, each fight ends abruptly with the sudden loss of an arm, head, or limbs otherwise. It makes every action scene a drag because you can't follow it, and on top of it deprives you of a satisfying climax as every single confrontation ends with the sudden loss of a limb without anticipation or suspense.
This lack of appreciation for the notion of a climax is reflected in the entire film's climax, too. It doesn't have one. Just when you're sure the film's about to go somewhere and finally be interesting, just when you're sure you've finally got to the good bit, it ploughs through a quick montage of movements bringing the main characters positions up to those they are due to have at the beginning of Episode 4, and then - the film cuts to the credits. It doesn't even do you the justice of letting you know you're about to get that feeling of having wasted 2 hours of you life - it just gives you it straight off.
The final Star Wars film is good in light solely of its context. It's the concluding chapter of a huge saga six films in length, and for this reason alone it should be watched. But unfortunately the magic of Star Wars is contained in 5 or less of the other films, and Episode 3 is a disgrace to the series and genre.