Failed I have. Move to Canada I must.

Rating: 3/10 (20 May 2005)

Despite almost 30 years of warm up, Lucas still didn't come up with a strong enough character motivation to explain Anakin becoming Darth Vader. Now when I watch the original do I have to imagine a sniveling, pouty little punk in the suit? Lucas gave James Earl Jones some of his trademark magic dialogue for his return: "Nooooooo!". Thanks, George. I love how they have C3PO's memory wiped at the end, as if that closes the plot hole. R2 would have been able to remind him. They should have mentioned disabling R2's ability to fly and somersault out of planes too. Yes, this is the best of the new 3. It couldn't be worse than the first, which only avoids the title of "Worst Film of All Time" because it wasn't shot on film. The political parallels are the best thing the film has going for it. However, I would like to remind everyone that "If you're not with me you're my enemy," has been said for a MILLION years! If you want a real laugh try attributing anything to W and convincing them it is a quote he came up with other than his malapropisms. The flipping Yoda is stupid. I know some geek somewhere thought it would be really coolbut it isn't. Ian McDiarmid gives a pretty good performance, but the silly faces he makes while shocking people remind one why he is otherwise noticeably absent from the annals of film history. Keisha Castle-Hughes with the tiny part is pretty funny. The best actress nominee walking behind the casket of the best supporting actress nominee. Ummmwhy did Padme die? She was "giving up"? When she had two new kids to look out for? Maybe if they had her give birth, have the kids hide, go to try to win Anakin back and he kills her the movie might have actually worked. Sorry, Fanboys, I know you are all ready to dive back into the pool, but this was still stale, unengaging and trite. I wish Lucas had never made these three. There isn't a single moment in the entire new trilogy that conveys the thrills of the trash compactor scene in the first trilogy, or the fight on Hoth orwell, anything, even anything from THX-1138. It's junk. If you'd held out after Episode 1 and demanded better you might have got better, maybe he would have given up directing like he did after Episode 4, but you didn't and they're crap. If this is your idea of good then you deserve Jar Jar and what the movie studios give you. Sorry if this isn't a funny arch review but I found how terrible these movies are, along with Lucas's systematic violation of our memories with the pathetic changes he made to the original to be seriously depressing. The man has no judgment. Why would Anakin at the end of "Jedi" reappear as Haydn Christensen? He would appear as the redeemed old shell he was when he died, like he did originally. Any fool could see that except the fool with the control. Lucas makes studio control look good. A friend said this and I agree: what do I feel about this film? Relief that it is all over.