Revenge of the Sh*t!

Rating: 1/10 (12 January 2013)

Finally, we reach the final film in the prequel trilogy. And what's the worse thing about this film you might ask, The fact that so many people liked it and gave it good review. Why?! This film was just as bad as the last two films, and yet somehow this movie got rave reviews! One reviewer actually said that this movie was: "Better than the original Star Wars." Did we watch the same movie? or was that one reviewer on some hard, mind altering drugs? So any...way, The wars are in full swing and Anakin and Ewan Macgregor are on a mission to rescue the kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine. They eventually find him, and get into a light saber dual with Count Dooku. Macgregor gets knocked out, and Anakin easily defeats Dooku, and nonchalantly cuts his head off. (Wow, What a hero!) So, they save the chancellor and everything's okay. Anakin returns to Padme and she tells him that she's pregnant. They talk a little while, then they go to bed. Anakin wakes up later, and Padme asks "What's wrong?" Anakin says that he had a prophetic dream that says that she'd die in childbirth. And right HERE! is where the film totally starts to fall apart. Because from here on in, all Padme will be in this movie is a plot device! (She was never fully developed as a character anyway, but who cares at this point?) So anyway, Anakin whines and moans about not being on the Jedi council. Then he's placed on an assignment by the council to spy on Palpatine. Macgregor tells Anakin that something is "Out of place." about Palpatine. Oh, just like something was "Out of place" about the clone army, but you decided to play right into the conspiracy anyway?! So any..way, Palpatine tells Anakin about an ancient dark side power used to stop people from dying. so to make a long story short, some stuff happens, Anakin embraces the Dark side, A bunch of Jedi, are killed, The republic falls, and Yoda, Ewan Macgregor, and Padme learn of Anakin's treachery. Finally we come to the climax. Padme goes to Mustafar to meet Anakin, and then he tells her the reason of why he turned to the dark side. Here's her reply to all this: "I can't believe what I'm hearing." "You've changed." How has he changed?! Why can't you believe what you're hearing?! He's killed children, and advocated for dictatorship before. Padme knew these things about Anakin already, and now for some asinine reason, she actually cares! God, this movie sucks! Ewan Macgregor then steps out of Padme's ship and then Anakin says: "You brought him here to kill me!" and then he puts Padme in a force choke. Even though, he did this whole thing to save her!! Then Anakin and Ewan Macgregor get into a light saber fight, Macgregor cuts off Anakin's legs, and says: "You were the chosen one, Anakin!" "I loved you." Why is Anakin the chosen one?! What makes Anakin so friggin' special?! What can Anakin do, that no other Jedi can't? Nothing!!! So what, if he's the only human that's ever driven a pod racer? That doesn't impress me!! So in the end, everything gets set up for the original trilogy, and then the movie ends. These movies are garbage!! It's seems like George Lucas wrote these God-awful films to deliberately infuriate us! If that was his intention all along, then on that level, he succeeded. Because these prequel films do not have the charm, or the magic that the original films have. You let us down George, you let us down big time.