Finally in a video store far, far away: an end in sight to the excessive space saga

Rating: 5/10 (12 November 2005)

An IMDb rating of 8? Please! As the grand finale of the most popular movie series of all time, there's a tendency to be sentimental but let's be cinematically honest--this is a piece of crap. Oh, there are the special effects and the wondrous images, There's Christopher Lee, still vibrant and menacing in his 80s, able to claim the honor of starring in both "Star Wars" and "Lord of the Rings" sagas. There's that Shakespeare in space feel to some of it that producer/writer/director George Lucas might have been going for but with one huge deficiency--there's no story other than to grind along to the inevitable set-up for that first Star Wars film (may the power of the fourth be with you). Not only is the Sith film nothing more than a disjointed collection of scenes preceded by space ships sweeping into orbit or landing on some nifty space station but the dialog is wooden and hollow. With every line, there's a flashing light going off blaring, "Acting, acting." How can you have a successful sci-fi film without suspending reality? Jar Jar Binks might have been a real pick-me-up in this one but all who fall under the Lucas script are lost. Natalie Portman is a wonderful actress but you'd never know it from her Padme role. She's reduced to some the most insipid exchanges on film. Haydyn Christensen (Annikin), on the other hand, may be the worst actor this side of Tatooine. He summons up about as much feeling in his conversion to the dark side as Jerry Mathers might have if they'd ever made Beaver go evil. "Evil Beaver" might actually have been a more interesting movie. ("Wally, I don't know know what's happening to me!" "Gee, Beaver, you got dark circles under your eyes. You just stabbed Dad. Mom's gonna not going to like this.") One could go on and on citing the deficiencies of latest piece of Star Wars slop but it's really not necessary. If you're so entranced with the series and the technical accomplishments, you probably don't care about things like plot or direction. I actually liked the earlier Star Wars films. They were special effects masterpieces that managed to have some lighthearted and human qualities. But try as he might--despite reaping millions in receipts and promotional knickknacks--Lucas can't do it anymore. It just may be that he's caught up in his own formula. Ewan McGregor riding around on the lizard--please! It's just so contrived (there's no truth to the rumor that a sequel--Return of the Lizard--is in the works) The last three Star Wars films failed and this one completely. Thank God it's over. Now go back and watch Mark Hammill and the gang and have some fun.