It's Just Bad

Rating: 1/10 (21 May 2005)

Unlike the millions who have seen and apparently loved this newest , and supposedly final, installment of the Star Wars saga, I disliked this movie vigorously. Predictably for Star Wars, virtually every aspect of this movie was bad: the acting, the dialogue and that neglected part of summer movies -- what's that now? --, Oh yes, the plot.
I realize that people went to this movie to wrap up the threads of story that were hinted at in 1977, and continued along in this latest trilogy, but the movie was just bad. It's first two acts were slow and predictable, leading me to conclude that if this were any other movie it would be denounced as a failure.
The only redeeming part of this film was the final act which was rather well-done. The fights were good, the plot picked up and the story was tied together. I sensed in that final act a sense of story, a sense that something was being accomplished. The final 40 minutes of the movie almost made it worth sitting through the first couple of hours.
But I'm sorry. You can't legitimately transform a good person into a bad person by using Grade B excuses. The first two-thirds of the movie, excepting some notable fighting, is solely a vehicle to transition the good guy to the bad guy and it's not even done well. I'll grant, as a storyteller, that it's not an easy task to make this transition, but that's because they made the kid from the previous two movies so damn flawless. I mean, give him some legitimate flaws.Give yourself some wiggle room. Otherwise, you're left basically creating idiotic and petulant excuses for someone becoming the ultimate evil. And regardless of whether or not this is the mother of all cult sagas, petulant evil is just that, petulant evil. It doesn't make you fearful in any respect. It's just sad. Andsad is what this transformation is, taking the penultimate bad guy and making him pitiable.
Now, I recognize that there are a great many people who will buy tickets just to see the story resolved and that's fine. After all, that's what I did. To that end, you will not feel ripped off. It is abundantly clear that a great deal of love and care was put into creating this cinematic marvel. But let me put it to you this way. If the first trilogy had not created an entirely new standard of SCIFI back in 1977, if that Trilogy had not been made, this would be just like Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. It's just a bad movie. However, that first time that an Imperial Star Destroyer crawled across the vastness of those stars, in a time when nothing like that had ever been made, it created a love affair with the past, not necessarily with the movie. And it is my opinion that this is why these movies are so often watched. They lucked out that the story had not been told in that way, with that technology, before. It's as simple as that.
In conclusion, if you're looking to be entertained, take a crossword puzzle for the first 100 minutes and then watch the remainder. It really is good. If you're concerned about being ripped off, don't be. It's clear that they put a lot of time and effort into making something spectacular, so you won't feel jipped. but if you're going for a good movie, oh man, you need to look elsewhere because it just ain't here.