Hook, Line and STinker

Rating: 6/10 (27 May 2005)

It was George Lucas' last chance to go out with a bang, but it was a lackluster performance. Oh yeah, the sets and special effects were over the top, but they couldn't save the film. I need to see it again as usual to get a clearer perception, but it just seemed like a lot of anachronistic direction and interminable hand-wringing over what the dark side has planned next. Spoilers follow, so don't read on if you don't want:
The motive behind Anakin's turning to the dark side was plausible. Chancellor Palpatine, a.k.a. Darth Sidious, promises him the ability to restore life, a power exclusive to the dark side he says. Since Anakin has been having dreams of Padmè's dying in childbirth the same way he dreamed of his own mother's death, he is desperate to save her. But it is so undeveloped, like the whole film is. And the moment he turns to the dark side was completely implausible! It was trite and contrived-- sort of "o.k., I'll be evil now." The acting by the whole cast was rather bad, with the possible exception of Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor Palpatine, but Star Wars has had problems with acting. Ewan McGregor is disappointing as Obi-Wan, a role once made great by Sir Alec Guiness. His dialog has been reduced to mostly trite wisecracks endemic of action films. Anakin continues his single-faceted whiny "it's not fair!" demeanor, but that's not completely his fault. George Lucas should have integrated that demeanor better in with his anger, the way he did when avenging his mother's death. But Anakin is instead fickle, without any realistic progression toward evil. Lucas should have given him more substance, to say nothing of Padmè, who is supposed to be a powerful senator and heroine, but has been reduced to a "stay here, wait and worry" woman throughout the film. Still, Natalie Portman bursts into tears quite realistically.
Where did the swashbuckling spirit of the first film, episode IV go? Where's the overwhelming dread of an imminent empire? Where's the pageantry of episode I, and the great mythos, like the "a child shall lead them" of young Anakin? I'd settle for a plot, but instead it just delivers quick one-line contrivances in order to tie it together, mostly via a lot of hand-wringing dialogue, and a lot of space-hopping, getting into and out of various space craft. And then there's the petty snipping from the Jedi council, something that has been going on since Episode I. These guys are supposed to enlightened, or at the very least not petty.
At the end, Yoda says in reference to hiding the infants Luke and Leia: that they should go where they won't be found, that Luke should go to Anakin's home planet Tatooine, to be with his family. So much for 900 years of wisdom. Clearly this was an installment that wasn't worked out in advance.
And no one should have given a Sabra to Christopher Lee, who plays Count Dooku. The guy has two left feet. (oh yeah, there's a LOT of sword fighting, and everyone in the film almost without exception gets one or both forearms lopped off)
Then in the last scenes of the film, things improve. When Obi-Wan verbally confronts Anakin after he turns evil, the moment was actually o.k.: after their fight inside the fiery bowels of a volcanic planet, Obi-Wan conveys his anguish over seeing his comrade fall from grace, and turns away for the last time. Somewhat good. Then Anakin, one arm lopped off, declares his hatred for his former master as he becomes disfigured in the red hot sands of the lava field-- also somewhat good. And when he's repaired and we see the assemblage of the Darth Vader guise that we all know and love, and he takes his first filtered breath-- that was good. But then they go all hokey again, stealing a scene from Frankenstein, with the tilting operating table, and Vader even breaks his shackles a' la Frankenstein.
As much as I hate to admit it, this film just wasn't made for a 43-yr-old who, as a 15-yr-old, fell for the epic, hook, line and sinker. I should have gotten the hint when they first introduced Jar-Jar.