If the DGA were survivor, Lucas would have been voted off a long time ago in this galaxy

Rating: 1/10 (30 May 2005)

I saw the movie twice- the second time because I missed some stuff the first due to my sobbing, the second viewing I enjoyed quite a bit (as a comedy). Having grown up with these films I was amazed at how much the originator himself could mess things up. The one thing that we strive for as filmmakers is a terrific story to tell- something that is timeless. Lucas's story is AMAZING- everything you could ask for- a story that every filmmaker wishes they could tell! Until the Editor in Lucas got in his way. CGI is there to help us make our films- not take over- and from the CGI fire and computer game like scenes to the CGI "baby Luke"- things began to go down hill. But the horror of the ruination of one of the most timeless stories of our time didn't end there- if it did I may have been able to overlook Lucas's EGO (gigantic as it is)- the writing was excruciating! I understand Clarity- but scene after scene driving in the point that Anakin is doing this for Padme- the whole time not FEELING that he is doing it for Padme- this film has bigger issues that gaining clarity (which is the only thing it did achieve). He assumes we, as audience member are idiots from the very beginning, TELLING us everything we need- in the first thirty minutes there is not a single line that requires SUBTEXT!- we are told absolutely everything the characters are doing or feeling. ANAKIN: "I had a dream" PADME "Was it Bad?" ("No it was terrific I'm sitting here in a cold sweat because it's fun") / YODA: Hello Count or should I say LORD SIDIOUS (God I am so glad Yoda explained that because I had not guessed from Episode One that that guy was actually the Emperor in the end!) OK so not verbatim but we get the point. The only good scenes were the ones with no dialog- The Jedi Dieing- Conversations between R2 and C- 3PO- Though Ewan McGregor did a great job pulling his weight (The relationship between he and Anakin was the only one that I began to FEEL) and Haden "Whiner" Christiansen wasn't helping. But I'd have to say my favourite part of this failure was the directing- or complete lack thereof. I felt terrible for Natalie Portman, who directors can get a good performance from, of course it helps when you aren't fighting the lines you have to deliver. Above all, however, directing the terrible CGI- the even worse love scenes, the KILLER directing really came into play in a sequence which should have been the most impressive part of the entire movie. From the time the Vader helmet tilted into frame at 36 fps to the cheap inserts of breaking glass to the Frankenstein like escape and my favourite line of the whole movie "NO!" (which summed up my feelings precisely) George Lucas managed to make the most frightening film villain of so many generations (After Hitler) the equivalent of his SNL counterpart- though the SNL version may have been closer. In the end, Vader crosses his arms in front of his chest- a HUGE body language movement for and actor- and more importantly one that Vader would have never made!- and Lucas- the director- Let it into the film! But we have to give Lucas more credit than just coming up with the most amazing idea of our time and then ruining it- for even though he redefined every character (suddenly R2 can jettison himself and catch things) and completely changed some parts of the galaxy- simply because he thought it was cool- he did keep in the cheesy 1970's wipes and if you wanna keep anything about your style it's the cheesy 70's wipes! I think what bothers me the most is the amazing potential of this terrific story (I mean the old ones are amazing- and the story line for the new ones even better) but because he could not turn it over to another writer and director (like he did with Return of the Jedi- the best of Star Wars) and because he had to show off what Lucas film computers can do (which isn't as much as he thinks) he ruined the Star Wars of OUR children's childhood.