Unimpresive...Most Unimpressive

Rating: 6/10 (26 August 2005)

Bore! From the moment I saw that exclamation point, I knew it was downhill from there. The teasers and trailers for what could possibly go on to be the biggest Star Wars movie of all time showed it to be a departure from the first two, a more mature turn for what was to be our final Lucas-helmed look into the universe he created.
For a brief, fleeting moment, hope stirred. I almost believed that George Lucas had rediscovered his passion for - and love of - Star Wars, the same love that every Star Wars fan feels when he sits down to watch the original movies. The opening scene had all the promise you could possibly hope for in Star Wars movie. But then, somewhere during the massive onrush of droid star-fighters, I remembered - this isn't the way Star Wars is supposed to start. There's nothing subtle about this opening, nothing classy. It's pure action, straight from the pan-down. He's trying to catch us off guard, it's a Jedi Mind Trick!
Sad to say, so was the entire rest of the movie. The 'weak-minded' praise it for it's visual feast, but those of us who are true fans of the Star Wars universe, who read the Extended Universe books not to 'geek out', but simply because we enjoy the world they create, were let down by the weak story, plot holes you could drive a Super Star Destroyer through, and acting so stiff the droids were more human than the lead characters. One of those plot holes - the supposedly far-seeing Jedi unaware of a plot involving every single clone in the Grand Army of the Republic - is so glaring that it almost makes the entire movie fall apart, but 'die-hard' fans can be content with the knowledge that it will all somehow be explained in the Extended Universe.
I must bow to ILM however. When it comes to massive, believable effects, perhaps only WETA Digital can compete. The 'action sequences' were more than outstanding - taken at face value, they are simply breathtaking. You can see the menace and hatred in General Greivous' eyes much more clearly than any emotion in Anakin's, and the Veractyl (the mount that Obi-Wan rides up the side of a cliff) looks and sounds so natural you wonder why they DON'T exist, somewhere.
I should take a moment to explain why I still gave this a six. Ian McDermid, as the Emperor, gives a truly spectacular performance. He delivers some of his lines so well, that one almost wishes they would make more prequels, focusing just on him. When I heard him say "Execute Order Sixty-Six" it brought a shameful smile to my face. The Emperor had arrived, and in stellar form. Samuel L. Jackson, returning as mace Windu, also puts in quite a performance.
The final insult to our intelligence however, is only the most anticipated moment in all Star Wars fandom - the first duel between Anakin and Obi-Wan. The battle itself is spectacular, and almost has some anime-style overtones in the techniques and use of Force powers. The climactic battle rages for nearly twenty real-time minutes, with both Anakin and Obi-Wan hacking and slashing away. Then, all of the buildup simply falls apart. I won't spoil too much, but let's just say if you can't hear the dialogue near the end, don't be too upset. That's just the Deus Ex Machina clanking around in the background.
For most of us, Star Wars IV, V, and VI are still THE Star Wars movies. I think the failing of Episodes I, II and III is that in the end, they showed too much, gave away too much, and didn't let viewers fill in the blanks like the original trilogy did. When Vader looks out at the black emptiness of space in The Empire Strikes Back, just as Luke has sped away from him, he says nothing. We wonder, what is he thinking? We see the conflict in him in just a few simple movements, because the character is alive in our minds. We almost feel for him, despite his being the 'bad guy'. When Hayden looks out over Coruscant, supposedly at Padme, in Episode III, the only thing that is going our heads by this point is: "When is the light-saber duel?"
Ultimately, Episode III will be hailed as a great movie simply because it was delivered in just the right style for the generation that received it. In that, perhaps George Lucas has still retained his genius - he knows his audience, and he caters to them.