Clearly this movie is a test...

Rating: 1/10 (30 May 2005)

for GL to see exactly how gullible his audience is. He literally shat on a really expensive film reel and released this movie, hoping... no, knowing, somehow that people would be all over it like white on rice. The plot makes no emotional sense whatsoever. The core assumption is that the soon-to-be Darth Vader is so deeply in love with Padme (Natalie Portman, who's shown herself to be an artist of at least some depth as of late); but Padme is an empty shell of a woman, weepy, pregnant, dull, blindly attached to Skywalker, though supposedly principled and wise from her time as Queen and in the Senate. The lameness of her "willing herself to die" won't even be touched upon here. And can anyone say Cesearean Section?! if DV-to-be was so worried that Padme was going to die in labor, why didn't the couple go to their space-age medical facility and have the babes taken out? She's clearly at least 6 months along and didn't need to carry the kids to term. It's slap-you-in-the-face stupid.
Overall, The writing makes $4 paperback pulp fiction novels look Nobel-prize worthy. I can't even blame the actors for the terrible acting, because so clearly the drivel they are forced to read is impossible to imbue with any depth. Visually, it's a busy, rollicking film, almost to the point of provoking a migraine. The only thing worthy of an honorable mention is the score, which explains 75% of the film's emotional and plot cadence when the terrible writing and stifled acting is clearly unable to do so. If you see this movie, see it where you can guffaw loudly and hang your head in shame for the millions of dollars this man is making off of morons (myself included) who allowed themselves to be dragged into this film.