Absolute rubbish

Rating: 1/10 (3 June 2005)

Although I found this movie marginally better than the previous two, I find that the utter disappointment I feel in seeing Lucas throw away a great opportunity to tell the story of Anakin's descent warrants the death sentence for this film. So - onto the rant:
George Lucas is a talentless hack, whose only ability seems to be that of depriving me the enjoyment of going to the movies. There is no redeeming feature of Episode 3 - the writing is puerile and undeserving even of a children's pantomime. Lucas obviously has no idea about the portrayal of human interactions, and even less of an idea about how to show a character's descent into darkness. Of course, I've seen nothing in Hayden Christensen's resume to show that he could have handled such a role, even if it was well written. Trying to do it when you're handed this junk of a screenplay must be a thousand times worse.
Any scene between Anakin and Padme was embarrassing for its shallowness, and there was no way I believed that Anakin had any real motivation to turn to the dark side. I suspect that Lucas may indeed be a robot as he seemed to give the best lines to R2D2, incomprehensible to me as they were, and the obvious fascination he has with the animation of the robotic devices and characters indicates an avoidance of any serious attempt to deal with actors and with humanity.
The music is overbearing, and demands that you experience simplistic emotions in line with the bombastic themes, and it's constantly trying to force its way into your brain - there is almost no respite from the din. As an attempt to escape from it, I found myself singing Weird Al's "The Saga Begins" as a mantra in my head.
The only reasons I didn't walk out ten minutes into the movie were that: one, I don't walk out of movies; two, paying the full price for this offal (as I was forced to) means that I felt obligated to get as much as I could for the money; three, I couldn't authoritatively report on the full horror of the experience unless I had experienced it.
What I'd like to know is if there is some mechanism under consumer-protection legislation that allows for a refund if you find a movie unwatchable. Surely the industry is based around providing an entertainment service and, if you fail to be entertained, they haven't done their job. I expect the only way this would work is if you left in the first 15 minutes or so, but I would love the ability to punish Hollywood for producing such rubbish.