Lucas has done it again folks!!!!!!!!

Rating: 4/10 (20 May 2005)

To preface this little review, I used to be up until a day or so ago a firm believer in George Lucas, not only his movie making ability, but also his ability to redeem what has been an abysmal trilogy. I used to be one of those fan boys who just couldn't admit that anything was wrong with the prequels, I remember walking out of episode one thinking that it was a great flick, but have over time become aware that the prequels have been nothing but a total letdown... But to be honest I was really looking forward to seeing Episode Three, not only because I had read that a lot of you out there actually thought this movie was good, not only that but it made up for the first two prequels, and even eclipsed a few of the originals. A day after seeing Episode Three the only thing i can say is that George Lucas fumbled the ball, and let not only the star wars crowd down, but the movie watching public in general. It was sloppy, forced, and the acting apart from McDiarmid, and McGreggor was just lousy. What I thought was going to be an explanation of how Anakin Skywalker turned to the dark side, became an almost agonizing countdown to the credits. Now before I bash the whole movie to pieces, I will say that there were some parts of the movie I thought were great. The special affects, as always were great, the as said before there were a couple of good performances, and thats about it. Now for the bad, my first real gripe with this movie is how awful, and stilted the acting was. Portman, Christiansin, Christopher Lee, those annoying Neimoidians and even the baddest man on the planet Sam Jackson sounded like amateurs. this is surprising to me, because even the worst one of them all Hayden Christiansin isn't that bad of an actor. I blame this mostly on Lucas' inability to write believable, and even tolerable dialog at all. Even the original Star Wars movies had the same problem, but the actors pulled it off. This wouldn't be a problem if it was only a small fraction of the movie, but for every cool, or good line, the audience had to sit through a bunch of crap that just pulled the viewer out. My main gripe in this is the Anakin/Padme love story, and the hideous "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," that Vader utters near the end of the picture. Whether or not that was a homage to Frankenstein or not, that is something that should have never made it into the flick. And what the heck was with Vaders voice when he got into the suit. Props to Lucas for bringing back James Earl Jones, but why all the enunciation, did Vader develop an accent a few years after he got the suit?? Another problem I had is that throughout both of the trilogies, viewers are told what great warriors Jedi are, how all powerful they are, and how their use of the force helps them to sense things before they happen. If this is the case then why is it that after Palpatine passes his law, something 66, are the Jedi so easily dispatched. I can understand the little Padawan's being slaughtered, but Ki Adi Mundi getting shot by clones without even a fight at all....thats just weak. The Jedi Purge is something that I thought would make this movie great, instead its just a five minute montage of the so-called greatest warriors in the universe getting pounded like Peter McNeely. My last huge problem is...Grievous. Why they even created him in the first place I cant figure out. He didn't do anything except cough, and spout out cheesy one liners for his short stint in the movie, and then even though he's slaughtered countless Jedi, and has been semi-trained in Jedi Fighting styles by Count Dooku, is man handled by obi wan, like any of the other machines. Even his body guards gave obi wan a better fight then grievous did. This was very disappointing to me, only because I was a big fan of the clone wars cartoon, and that made grievous look like a total bad a$$. Another problem i had with grievous is the abysmal voice acting of whatever hobo they pulled off of the street to to the voice work. At one point Lucas had Gary Oldman on to do his voice...what was Lucas thinking. One other small knit pick, Why was Chewbacca even in the movie, matter of fact why was that whole Wookie battle in it, it served no purpose other that to make fan-boys soil themselves. I know this is going to just pi$$ off every star wars fan that frequents this site. But to all of you fan-boys I pose one question. If its possible for you, go see the movie and just treat it like any other movie. If it didn't have the words Star Wars in the title would any of you even like it?? To me this is just another missed opportunity for Mr. Lucas, and quite frankly proof that good old George is becoming nothing less than a self absorbed HACK. I love the original Star Wars just as much as any fan boy out there...i used to be one of you guys!!! But after last night, and after Lord of the Rings Star Wars, just doesn't stack up. And if George is reading this.... Mr. Lucas read a book, or better yet watch a Quentin Tarantino movie, maybe that will help you to write dialog...and for anyone who still hasn't seen this piece of garbage, wait for the DVD, or better yet that special, special edition of the prequels that Lucas will no doubt give us to squeeze the piggy bank. So...to close out props to Ewan McGreggor, Ian McDiarmid, and the people at ILM, besides that for shame George.