A truly epic disappointment

Rating: 4/10 (23 May 2005)

Six years ago, I walked out of a movie theater, unable to admit to myself that perhaps George Lucas had made a mistake. My love for all things Star Wars clouded my sight and I was merely happy to have more jedi, droids, and George.
Three years ago, I walked out of a movie theater cringing, shaking with fright over love scenes and computer graphics faker and more artificial than many of the films you would see on Mystery Science Theater 3000. But I held out hope that Episode III would redeem these films...Oh boy.
The only thing tragic about "Revenge of the Sith" is that it completes the desecration of a brilliant film trilogy. Debating how it stacks up against the other prequels is like deciding who deserves the best actor Oscar: Keanu Reeves, Shaquille O'Neal, or Justin Guarini. Yes, it is that bad. This one might even take the cake, for it is the first movie of the six in which I laughed out loud at the dialogue ("Execute Order 66"...or how about "From my point of view the jedi are evil"). I respect Mr. Lucas, but this man needs one of his cronies to step up and tell him he writes like a middle-schooler.
There is a hollow lifelessness about these films; we just don't care about the characters or what happens to them. The plots are forced together crudely, trying to link every single event to another in the original movies. I cannot believe in the thirty years since the originals came out it seems we have moved backwards in terms of special effects. As "cool" as it is to see Yoda fight with a lightsaber, it looks like a cartoon. The prequels live and breathe clichÃ©, relying on sheer over stimulus to excite the audience.
Take out the "Star Wars" element and we have Battlefield Earth 2. I hate to write this because I wanted to love this film as much as anyone else...but take off the blindfold people, and see Episode III for what it is: a piece of garbage thrown to die-hard fans who deserved a space opera, and got a space backstreet boys concert.