Why? Why? Why?

Rating: 1/10 (27 December 2005)

Why doesn't R2D2 fly in episodes 4, 5, and 6? Why doesn't he use his flamethrower to kill the stormtroopers in these original episodes? There were many times he could have done this to save the day. Why doesn't Uncle Owen remember C3PO? Why doesn't Aunt Beru remember him? How on earth does Aunt Beru go from a cute twenty year old girl to a fifty-five year old sun-baked woman in sixteen years? Why did Yoda, who is supposed to be the most brilliant in the galaxy, decide to send the baby Luke to Anikan's family, i.e., his family, this supposedly being "The last place they'd look for him?" Duh! Why does it take two and a half films for Anikan to become Darth Vadar, when in fact this is the reason for all of the prequels? How how Anikan go from a thin lipped blonde boy in episode 1 to a curly red haired guy with immense lips? How does Vadar go from being five foot nine to seven feet tall... does the dark side have growth pills? Where are all those insane spaceships in sixteen years? Why wouldn't they use all the buzz droids and those horse droids and those other killer droids instead of stormtroopers? And don't give me: "Well in this film the Emperor said to shut down the droids", because that one sentence didn't explain why the evil empire wouldn't bring these things back... after all, they are in deep space trying to kill off the rebellion and not in front of the senate. And why would George Lucas have Anikan turn bad because of a dream? Why? Why? Why? Does anyone know? And why would Anikan's entire purpose for killing all those people be to save his wife because of this vague dream? Why? Why? And why was this movie given the prop of "Ties it all together", when it ties nothing together. It is a horrible, horrible film. Oh, and why does Chewbecca have gray hair when he's supposed to be younger? And how does Obi Wan not remember C3PO or R2D2 in episode 4? Was his memory erased too? Did a brilliant Jedi forget these things after spending sixteen years in the desert? Why? Why? Why? Oh my!!!