Better than the first two, but equally as soulless and bad

Rating: 6/10 (6 August 2014)

We can all agree that out of the Star Wars prequels, Revenge of the Sith (2005) was the best. That's kind of like agreeing being quickly decapitated is better than the hours-long ordeal of crucifixion.
Revenge of the Sith may have more going on than the first two, but it still shares the core problems which plague the prequel films: the acting is nonexistent, the pacing is bad, and the filmmakers used overblown fight scenes and special effects to compensate for lack of emotional involvement. (It's funny how the filmmakers put so much thought into those overlong light saber battles, but they can't even make Natalie Portman look like a convincing pregnant woman!)
The beloved opening shot is overrated. You cannot tell one ship from another, nor can you really understand what's going on or which side is winning. It gets worse when actual flesh-and-blood actors enter the scene, since no one has gotten any better at portraying characters with any soul. Anakin's reaction to slaying Count Dooku is laughable; instead of reacting with horror, Christensen utilizes his customary monotone: "Oh. I shouldn't have done that..." Like he cut a pizza wrong or something similarly trivial.
Speaking of the central figure of the prequels, Anakin comes off as a total nimrod who is easily manipulated rather than the tragic figure he is supposed to be. His conversion to the dark side does not come off as a seduction; it's more of a trick by Palpatine. Really, there was little reason for him to become evil. In fact, all the characters come off as major dolts and do not seem to possess a shred of humanity.
What makes me angriest about this film is that pandering final shot of Beru, Owen, and newborn Luke staring at Tatooine's binary moons. These films are so bad that I cannot accept them as having any connection to the original trilogy, which while not perfect, had heart and imagination to spare. I've honest-to-God-above read better fan fiction than this and you know how terrible that can be.
I will give credit where it's due and say there is one moment in this film which impresses me. It's a short sequence where we cut between anxiety-stricken Padme and Anakin staring out windows, pensive as they sadly look into a sunset. A single tear falls down Anakin's face and that small gesture had more humanity in it than the comical "NOOOO!" he utters after finding out Padme has died in childbirth. It gives one a glimpse of what could have been a moving story about a flawed man whose lust for control and power gets the better of him.
Man, even the misfire that was Return of the Jedi was a more satisfying conclusion than this "darker" story. The events before the older films were better left to our imaginations, because even a child could come up with a more satisfying back story than what we were ultimately given.