Absolutely Horrendous

Rating: 3/10 (9 May 2008)

What in the world has happened to George Lucas? Once a man with near mythical status, a sci-fi god, if you will, has reduced himself to the hackiest of working filmmakers. The new Star Wars Trilogy fails on so many levels it would be impossible to address them all in so limited a space. The script is horrible. There is virtually no engaging element to this film. While populated with decent to great actors, the film makes little use of them, forcing such fine performers as Ewan McGregor to spit out some of the most ridiculous lines ever uttered on screen. The romantic scenes between Christensen and Portman are vomit-inducing, and this proves once and for all that, as he has said himself, Lucas is a terrible writer. As I mentioned, the characters are totally one-dimensional. What could have been an epic tale of evils temporary triumph over good has been turned into a sci-fi farce, so unbelievable droll it made me want to leave the theater. Though Lucas should be held accountable for the vast majority of this abysmal failure, Hayden Christensen absolutely butchers what was formerly one of the greatest and most intimidating characters in film history. His Anakin Skywalker is pathetic, at best. He is a whiny, pouting scrub, whose acting is so wooden, so fake, I found it difficult to believe that he is, in fact, a professional actor. I have several friends, amateur performers, who have displayed far better acting ability on the high school stage. Fortunately for him, he's not alone. Christopher Lee, typically a fine actor, has been reduced to a caricature. Natalie Portman, a very talented actress, is almost as expressionless as the digital sets through which she walks. Sam Jackson is a shadow of himself, as Mace Windu's expressions actually made me laugh out loud. The set pieces are almost all digital which irreparably damages the film as a whole. They have no texture, no sense of realism, and most of all, no character. Part of what made the original films so great is the undeniable character that the locations and props had. Everything was real, well-used and seemed like it belonged to an actual fantasy world. Here, everything has a polished sheen that makes for a totally unbelievable environment. I could go on for days about what makes this film a failure. I really could. However, I don't want to. Just writing this much has depressed me. This story that Lucas was attempting to tell over the course of this new trilogy could have been amazing. Darth Vader's rise to infamy? The formation of the Empire and the few who stood up to it? This could have been a coming-of-evil tale on the level of the Godfather. Anakin could have been like Michael Corleone, an innocent led down a dark path that ultimately ends up fulfilling his destiny as a figure of unadulterated evil. Yet it is not. I feel bad even mentioning the potential of a Godfather comparison, as this film isn't even close to the same cinematic plane. Overall, one of the worst and most disappointing films ever produced. Though a small step up from the laughable Attack of the Clones, what should have been an epic conclusion turns into a disaster of epic proportions.