Megablasts, Robots and A Chewie Cameo Do Not A Good Finale Make

Rating: 6/10 (22 May 2005)

Boom! Boom! Boom! Blast! Blast! Blast! Repeat a zillion times with lots of robots and spaceships obscuring the audience's view of the main performers seems to have been the formula here!
I've followed this series since the original 'Star Wars' (BEFORE, it was Episode Four) and can even remember when it had its original scroll so it's with some sadness that I can't look back on this too well. I mean, one of the highlights of the 'Star Wars' experience at the cinema is having the ENTIRE audience erupt into thunderous applause when the opening trumpets blare right before the scroll. That didn't not happen this time. I was the ONLY one clapping and hardly anyone joined me at the beginning as the story unfolded.
Okay, enough's been said by others about the annoying wheezy General Grievous, mushy dialog between Anakin and Padme that would have been considered hackneyed in 1935 ,Anakin's 'staunch principles' being about as resolute as a weather vane's,etc. so allow me to mention something else that wrecks this installment that no amount of sci-fi babble n' spin can explain away. Everything in this film short of the twins' birth seems to transpire in about a week- yet Padme goes from 'not showing' when she shares her news with Anakin (and seems surprised that Obi-Wan can tell she's pregnant) to only having a small lump during her final final scene with Anakin- yet somehow she's able to bear full-term twins what seems mere hours after Obi-Wan rescues her! It would have hurt NOTHING for Lucas to have had the birth take place six to seven months later with Anakin/Darth being in carbo-frozen suspended animation until his armour is ready at the same time his twins are born and Padme dies!
Yes, in ROJ, Luke does indeed ask Leia about her 'real' mother and Leia has images of her she could NOT have had from being held aloft at birth for two minutes before the woman's death but even that incongruity pales compared to Padme being able to have her twins somehow grow from first trimester to full-term in UNDER A DAY! I know it's sci-fi but the Amidalas and Skywalkers are HUMAN and it's impossible for human babies to develop THAT quickly in any galaxy via any technology! Oh, and what would it have killed to have had Padme give some attempt at explain WHY she named the twins Luke and Leia?! Names have power (e.g. Darth Vader='dark father' in German)and these twins are supposed to be pivotal to the survival of the galaxy yet Padme just seems to pick the names out of the air randomly as she dies. It would have been cool to have had Obi Wan, Yoda and Padme discuss the meanings and significance while she gave them. Even a trite scene baby name speculating scene (e.g.'If it's a boy we can name him Luke after Bo Duke's cousin but if it's a girl we can name her Leia after your grandmother' )earlier in the movie would have been better than her just randomly picking them with her last breaths!
Yoda, Ewan MacGregor and Christopher Lee all shine above the rest of the movie but one has to keep telling oneself about how THIS will complete the cycle. Unfortunately, the Force isn't so much with this movie as the movie is just . ..forced!
P.S. There was NO applause whatsoever at my cinema when the closing credits rolled unlike every other installment I've seen. Even I, one of the biggest fans from 1977, couldn't muster myself to do it.