Generally grievous

Rating: 4/10 (1 June 2005)

The best of the final trilogy? Maybe, but that's like saying that Police Academy 6 is better than Police Academy 4. I understand why people are protective of the Star Wars saga  it's undeniably part of our cultural heritage - but let's face it, Episodes I-III will be remembered only for their sheer awfulness.
Revenge Of The Sith is, for at least 75% of its running time, incredibly boring. From its opulent emptiness to the bumbling plot contrivances, I found its lack of ideas disturbing. Here are ten things to hate about Episode III:
1. I lost count of the number of scenes which involve characters standing in front of what is essentially a computer-generated fish tank (with spaceships instead of fish) and spouting the sort of dialogue that wouldn't make it into the worst school play ever staged.
2. If the Force is so wonderful, why don't the Jedi council practise what they preach, 'search their feelings' and prevent a few catastrophes rather than muttering about 'sensing evil' and looking grave? At least practitioners of the Dark Side use the Force to get things done rather than using it simply to move small objects around and close doors.
3. And while we're on the 'greatness' of the Force, how come the remaining Jedi run and hide like cowards while the Sith take over the galaxy?
4. General Grievous is the most inept villain since the Hooded Claw from Penelope Pitstop. Only less menacing.
5. What the hell are 'younglings'? They're kids!
6. The most feared being in the universe goes by the pet name 'Annie'. Oh, please
7. Why does Yoda have to go to Kashyyyk when he could contact the Wookies by hologram? And why does he walk with a stick when he's capable of performing triple backward somersaults?
8. Thanks to the material, Samuel L Jackson gives his worst performance ever.
9. Isn't it rather selfish of Padme to give up on her children?
10. So the droids have their memories wiped. How do they wipe Darth Vader's?
At one point, Anakin demands "What kind of nonsense is this?" That's what I'd like to know.