Revenge of the Steaming Pile of Sith

Rating: 1/10 (26 February 2012)

The franchise has gotten so wrapped up in CGI that they've forgotten what the series is supposed to be about. As space opera, Episode III is the lowest of the three "new generation" Star Wars flicks. As high art, it fails.
The Obi-Whine Pierogi character is the cry-baby-est good guy I think I've ever seen. Anyone who spends as much time whinging about how his destiny interferes with his love life doesn't get my vote for joining in to save the universe. Sit this one out, cry-baby.
Natalie Portman's Padme is diluted and flavorless, like canned soup with too much water. The goodness is in there, but you have to swallow a lot of water to find it.
The earlier 70s-80s episodes worked BECAUSE they were 2-dimensional, not in spite of it. Trying to add depth and dimension takes away from the impact of the story which -- let's face it -- has been done. Lonely underdog from out of nowhere overcomes insurmountable odds to save the day. That's everything from Conan to Harry Potter. It doesn't need more depth, and using big name talent takes away from the newness of it all. To work, the series needs the emotional dedication and ingenuity applied to the epic, and not to the special effects and big stars.
Samuel Jackson's Mace Windex, for crying out loud. I cry aloud for the ruin of the golden years of Christopher Lee, who brought awesome power and strength to every role he played until they made him Count Dookie.
I supposed after you make your first 100 million, you don't have to try anymore. The proles will buy anything with your name on it.