Flashy? Yes. Less annoying than Episodes I and II? Yes. Star Wars prequel trilogy and George Lucas redeemed? Not quite

Rating: 1/10 (6 April 2006)

Well, here we are, the big one, the one that was supposed to blow them all away, the one that was supposed to be the meat and potatoes of the Star Wars prequel trilogy, the big downfall that turned Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) into Darth Vader. The final result is a bit... underwhelming.
To be fair, this is probably the least annoying of the Star Wars prequel trilogy, some of the acting is sturdier, the violence is grand as always, there are some very decently dark atmospheric moments, and the lack of the loathsome Jar Jar Binks is appreciated (too bad he had to appear at the end mourning the death of what's-her-name), but it still cannot touch the original Star Wars trilogy. If viewed as a stand alone film, Episode III may not seem all that bad by itself, but when the final turn of Anakin into Vader comes, it's hard to take it seriously or feel affected at all because of the weak story foundation of the previous entries, "Phantom Menace" and "Clones", and the fact that Lucas failed to build Anakin up to be a sympathetic character. So what if we all knew where he was going to end up? Lucas should have worked a lot harder on Anakin's character ark instead of fiddling around the special effects. Star Wars, once one of the great space operas of cinema, is now and forever truly synonymous with the term "style over substance", quantity over quality, flogging a dead horse for the sake of the all mighty dollar, and George Lucas's name really is now permanently connected with "hack". Yes, I'm well aware that all Hollywood films are for money, but this prequel block buster trilogy is just poorly and insincerely concocted that it makes the eyes and the ears bleed.
Ultimately, all that crap starting in Episode I with Anakin leaving his mother for no bloody good reason, taking ten years to get back to her for no bloody good reason, all the various stretches of logic and credibility (like the Jedi being killed by robots and clones) and the poorly handled friendship between Obi-Wan and Anakin amounts to a mind numbingly banal experience. That's the real heart of the problem: the friendship between Obi-Wan and Anakin never becomes real or believable, despite how hard the actors try, and this all goes back to the fact that Episode I failed to properly portray the beginning of the beginning of their friendship, choosing instead of focus on that pointless waste of time called Qui-Gon Jinn (and this is coming from a person who generally likes Liam Neeson's films).
Ewan McGregor and Samuel L. Jackson do their best, and while they're more bearable to watch than some of the other actors - McGregor does a great job of portraying Obi-Wan's horror and anguish when the big duel between him and Anakin is done - they can't save this movie. Ian McDiarmid (the Emperor) is hammy as usual and Natalie Portman is as flat here as she was in the first two prequels, lacking the Earthiness that made Carrie Fisher's Princess Leia so endearing. Hayden Christensen tries hard to squeeze something resembling sympathy from Anakin, and while he's not exactly the greatest actor of all time, the truth is his failure is unsurprising. Odds are that Anakin would have seemed like a hollow jerk regardless of who was playing him, given how bad Lucas's dialogue and direction has become over the years.
Let us hope and pray that they fail to make Indiana Jones 4.