unforgiven

Rating: 1/10 (5 November 2005)

friends and family warned me not to go. not because they had seen it, but because there was no way lucas could become a director of people, complete with emotions and humanoid speech patterns, after all that had gone before. i would not listen, i wanted desperately to have this monstrous trilogy redeemed by the end.
but like the first time you're mature enough to realize your heart is heading in the wrong direction, and you can no longer avoid the bald-faced truth, the facts of the case, your head simply vetoes the idea, no matter how great your longing or sense of loss. lucas blew it, again, and no amount of ridiculous special effects or slavering fan-boy appreciation can make up for the abominable acting, script, and complete lack of believability in evidence here.
a huge gangly lizard races through unimaginably dense laser fire without a scratch? major characters fight intense battles and emerge clean, refreshed, and full of humor? the final gravity-defying battle comes down to a question of who's higher on the hill? i left disgusted and unclean. to have given myself and my money one more time to such a wasteland of cinema made me feel duped and stupid, like a beaten housewife hoping it won't happen again, he really loves me this time.
don't believe the hype. never before has a movie had so much riding on it, with so many people willing to believe in it because they want to, not because there's any evidence that it's worth it. like Matrix Revolutions, Sith was overlong, overstimulating, miserably directed and as compelling as a stale doughnut that you can't seem to wash down.
my vote for the biggest gap in history between promise and execution.
jd