Revenge of the Who Cares

Rating: 1/10 (20 May 2005)

Like passing a car accident, I knew Revenge of the Sith would be a disappointment but I knew I had to see it. It was as I expected.
Like most people I know, I was a huge fan of Episodes IV, V, and VI. And, like most people I know, I've been severely disappointed by the more recent installments. Episode III is no different from I and II: major let-downs.
Granted, writing prequels is always difficult. Its hard to write effective back story when you are constrained by the inevitable outcome. But you should at least TRY to write a good story. Episode III's dialogue is PAINFULLY bad -- worse then I and II. The final motivation for Anakin's turn to the darkside is terribly weak, made worse only by a terrible script, bad acting, and an uninspired scene where he makes his final decision. All of the characters are shallow; there is no real conflict or character development to speak of. There is absolutely no chemistry among any of the characters. The only interesting parts of the plot are the references to what I call the real Star Wars movies (IV, V, and VI). Throughout the entire film, I just found myself thinking "who really cares?" Everyone already knows that Anakin turns to the darkside, and if you weren't in a coma in Episodes I and II, you know who Darth Sidious is. In fact, it didn't even surprise any of the characters in the movie, either. The whole movie seemed drearily predictable even to the characters in it.
I think George Lucas didn't even care at points in the film. The largest space battle in the movie goes off with little explanation (and a very poor one, at that) and virtually no impact on the characters or the story. Most of the action sequences are the same: tacked on with no real need for them and no effect on the story.
SPOILER: The scene with the Wookies is the best example. There is absolutely no need for the scene other than to make a cheap grab at the fans of the real Star Wars movies. In fact, the best part of the Wookie battle scene is when Chewbacca swings tarzan-style onto a droid attack machine. Remind you of anything? Maybe Return of the Jedi? Weak.
If you want to see breath-taking special effects, see III. If you want to see an awesome final lightsabre duel, see III. If you want to see any acting, an interesting plot, a compelling story, drama, or anything else that can't simply be rendered by a computer, don't bother.