10 Years Laters on a Computer Far, Far Away

Rating: 5/10 (9 March 2015)

I recently rewatched the new trilogy; as a child I discovered the original trilogy in the mid-90s. I remember watching the complete, un-remastered versions, the one that made you fall in love with the story. The one where the blue hue in the light saber wasn't extremely bright, but still a great look, the one where Han shot first and you were okay knowing that he was basically a drug-dealing murderer...with a heart of gold! My review of SW3 is conflicting; if you look at the movie wholly for what it is, the story isn't lacking anything you would expect; it has great action, a lot of lightsaber dueling, the constant fight between the good and the bad. The issues that I have with this film are many, and by complaining I feel as though I may be letting the younger version of myself down. At any rate, here we go: Here's the true issues to this movie and why movie goers may not enjoy this flick: 1) This movie has no real surprises, we know that having watched the original trilogy and the previous two movies, that certain things will happen: A) Anakin will align with the dark side and will become the new sith lord, Darth Vader. B) The clones will eventually be aligned with the dark side and will take on the form of the Stormtroopers. C) Darth Sidious, aka Chancellor Palpatine, will become the emperor, having complete control of the senate. D) This is move is the link between what was seen in SW2 and SW4, so we know that the Jedi's are destroyed but both Yoda and Obi-wan make it out alive. We know that Padmae will die during childbirth and give birth to Leia and Luke, and we know that Luke goes to live with his Uncle where as Leia is adopted by a royal family. 2) The acting is simply bad. Even some of the veteran actors like Samuel L Jackson were just bad, too stiff. I suppose the horrible parts were the various screams like when Mace Windu lost his hand or when Darth Vader screams out "NOOOOOOOOO". Just bad. While I was against the casting of Ewan McGregor (please see SW1 & 2 for reasons why) he did very well in this movie. While I would agree that Hayden Christensen probably was NOT the best person for the movie, his acting performance does lend itself to what we saw in SW1 to what we see in SW4 to the final scenes of SW6 where Darth Vader shows regret. Yes, he does act very immature/childish, then again, that was exactly what Vader became, a self-centered, rage-infused, power-hungry jack-tard. Granted, I agree that "NOOOOOOO" is not the best acting, and you could also through in scenes like the one where he pledges his allegiance to Sidious (worst bit of acting in the bunch, in my opinion). Overall, I felt like he was exactly what the role called for, but I also believe there were better options for that role as well. 3) Timeline Issues: I know having read many reviews in the past that a lot of people have seen this and agreed, starting with SW1 that the age of Anakin is simply too young. Based on the time line of the progression here is the approximate age of Anakin: SW1 - 10, SW2 - 20, SW3 - 23, SW4 - 43, SW5 - 46, SW6 - 47. The actor who played Anakin in SW6, Sebastian Shaw, was 78 years old at the time of the portrayal, nearly 31 years older than the role. You could make the generalization that using the force makes you older, however, we know that at the time Alec Guinness played Obi-Wan, he was 63 and the character would have roughly been 61, assuming that the character established in SW1 is the same age as the actor, to which Ewan McGregor was 28 at the time (Making him 38 in SW2 and 41 in SW3). You could say that using the dark side makes you look older, which is why Emperor Palpatine still seems lively even at the end of SW6 when he's engaged in the fight. In any case, I think that aging him even 5-10 years would have yielded a lot better acting (which means a better actor could have been cast for both Jake Lloyd and Christensen). It would have also made him more age appropriate for his love interest with Amadala. The downside of being a higher age is that the innocence may have already been gone. Could Qui-gon have sensed this potential rage in him had he been a little bit older? 4) Lastly, like many, I have seen the original trilogy and because of that, I am familiar with the weaponry, the ships, the technology, and unfortunately, instead of seeing more primitive examples in comparison to the original, we see a lot of improvements from ship dynamics to guns. The fact that R2D2 can both fly and can catch a radio is disturbing on many levels, though his rockets are eventually broken, explaining why he cannot fly in future films. The droids that Dooku and Grievous uses are obviously much better off than what we see going forward, not to mention that Grievous himself is a much more evolved AI unit than we see again (and why does he have a cough?).
Overall, this movie is exactly what I thought it'd be. Even 10 years after its release, I still watch, though admittedly I feel that the prequels have probably made things worse for the Star Wars Universe. I guess when push comes to shove, every star wars fan has things that we would have loved to see happen (or not see happen), and its our love of these characters and the universe they're in, that causes us to be dissatisfied by what we see, when in actuality we love seeing these characters being reprised again and again.