Revenge of the Myth ...

Rating: 4/10 (6 July 2005)

In the mid-1950s, the Ford Motor Co. introduced the Thunderbird, a snazzy, little sports car that made history. The '55, '56 and '57 models are revered as classics. Subsequent models made into the 1960's were bigger and gaudier, but they remained uniquely styled and rather special. By the 1970's, Ford tried to make the Thunderbird evolve into a luxury car, which meant it kept getting bigger and heavier and uglier and busier and less and less special. By the time the Thunderbird was discontinued in 1998 it bore little resemblance to the original T-Bird. The STAR WARS series is the Thunderbird of motion pictures.
What started as a fun and highly entertaining vehicle with the original STAR WARS (a.k.a., A NEW HOPE), was franchised into a trilogy with a pair of heavily accessorized follow-up films (THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK and THE RETURN OF THE JEDI) that were still special, but provided a less joyous ride. By the time Star-master George Lucas got around to making the wholly unnecessary trilogy of prequels -- THE PHANTOM MENACE, ATTACK OF THE CLONES and THE REVENGE OF THE SITH -- he was addicted to the art of pointless excess and turned a smart sports model into an unsightly gas guzzler. Like the T-Bird, the STAR WARS films have been improved to death, their innocence mechanized into oblivion. They are noisy machines, but little else.
There is a scene in SITH where it is apparent that a major character is going to slay a room full of small, innocent children. The mere thought of such a scene should inspire fear, anger or at least disbelief, but the scene is played without a shred of emotional resonance. Instead of being compelled to say "Oh, my God, no!" one is likely to just shrug at the plot twist. It just happens. The entire film is just like that, a long unemotional exercise in mechanical wizardry.
Likewise, you won't find a storm trooper accidentally bumping into a doorway in these films, because that would get a laugh, just as it did in the original film. Humor, warmth, suspense and compassion have been eliminated from the series, just as if Lucas had deemed them a computer virus to be debugged out of existence. They get in the way of his cold, computerized perfection. There are no thrills, no excitement, no fear, no joy. That is because there is nothing truly human in this entire trilogy. Though they have their counterparts in the original trilogy, the characters in Episodes I, II and III only serve a function, they don't inspire us to care about them the way we identified with Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Han Solo, Darth Vader, or even C3PO and R2D2. The real STAR WARS had three dimensional characters; SITH and its characters exist to perpetuate a contrived, pompous myth and a fat box office take.
Even the battle sequences that are so slickly done are coldly mechanical. They are either so chaotic that it is impossible to know what is going on, or else they are jazzed up to hyper speed to the point that they lack suspense. When Luke and Vader battled with the light sabers, we saw life in jeopardy. Here, when Yoda takes on Palpatine, we don't see characters, we don't see actors, we don't even see stunt men; we see computerized special effects. It is like watching Lucas playing his own little private video game. Suspense relies on the recognition of danger, not just the coordination of action.
Occasionally the prequels will let off a spark of recognition revealing the humor and charm of the originals. Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi might, for instance, actually show some good cheer in a line reading. And the fleeting moment here or there with CP3O or R2D2 might generate an equally fleeting smile. Though R2D2 has also been computerized in many instances, so that the klutzy little droid we all loved now does insultingly inappropriate backflips and darts around on jets. And Yoda has been totally computerized to the point he is devoid of humanity or humor; its like watching a pod person, his quirky personality replaced with that of a cold and mean-spirited little troll. Indeed, the entire trilogy seems more akin to THE INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS than STAR WARS.
There is not a genuine thrill of the original STAR WARS apparent until virtually the end of REVENGE OF THE SITH when Anakin is being rebuilt into Darth Vader. John Williams' original theme swells, you hear that unmistakable rasp of breath and then James Earl Jones' distinctive baritone and you find yourself thinking "Yes! Finally, STAR WARS!" It is like seeing Ford's redesigned T-Bird in 2002; though it is only a faded glimmer of the original, it is at least stirring. And then moments later the film, and presumably the series, is over. And the gnawing feeling of perpetual disappointment is again replaced by anger as you realize that Lucas has once again cheated you out of something special.