My least favourite, but not least favourite movie

Rating: 4/10 (27 March 2015)

Of the Star Wars Saga, Attack of the Clones is my least favourite because it's just so bland and forgettable. Everything in it, the story, the acting, the action scenes, just seem to be bog standard and on autopilot. Characters have no emotion, the relationship between them is impossible to believe, the story is like a road trip that takes us from planet to planet, truncated by unrealistic love scene or the occasional CGI action scene, and there's just nothing you can really take home from it, no quotes, no memorable moments, it's just dull.
What's the story? 10 years after the Phantom Menace, Anakin Skywalker has grown to become a Jedi Padawan under the wing of Obi- Wan Kenobi. After arriving from Naboo, former Queen Padme Amidala's ship is destroyed and her guard killed in an attempted assassination attempt. Very soon the Jedi duo are split up, with Obi-Wan tracing the assassin, and Anakin sent to watch over Padme, whilst a rather sporadic love blossoms between them.
So what specifically is wrong with this movie. Well, the characters are the most jarring part. Nothing about them seems to be human. Obi- Wan's relationship with Anakin as the supposed 'Good Friend' mentioned in Star Wars Episode IV only lasts about 20 seconds in the elevator at the beginning before Anakin turns into a back-chatting and easily aggravated monotone teenager, rather than the timeless and noble warrior we'd previously believed. He loses his temper over everything, anything he's questioned on he challenges and apparently has a real problem with authority figures. He acts more like a 15 year old with headphones stuck to his ears playing The Smashing Pumpkins on a 24 hour loop!
Next, the love story. We're meant to believe that Anakin and Padme are to have a loving relationship, even though it's forbidden as Jedi aren't allowed to fall in love. Apart from the obvious 'why can't Jedi fall in love?' question, which Yoda answers (to a point) in the next film as attachment has something to do with greed, and fear, and yadda yadda yadda, this relationship of theirs has absolutely nothing to make us believe it. Anakin acts angrily to everything, and moans about how he's being torn apart by love and duty, when in fact love is much more complicated than just reciting basic Romeo and Juliet. The most believable love is where two characters get to know each other over the course of the movie, and eventually start to commit themselves further about three-quarters of the way through.
In this film, their relationship seems to be based solely on physical beauty rather than personalities and character traits, of which they have none apart from those used to further the story, which does take you out of it somewhat!
As for the story, it's pretty standard. Catch the bad guy, jet across the ocean of stars, etc, etc. Some of the action scenes, while intense and still maintaining a fairly good bit of CGI, do go on a touch, especially towards the end in the Arena and the Hangar bay fight. Speaking of which, who the heck was Count Dooku?! Was he a baddie? I mean, he gives away the fact that Darth Sidious is controlling the Senate to Obi-Wan, and then asks Obi-Wan to join him to destroy the Sith. I know it's all a big con, but it just comes right out of nowhere, and also, how come Obi-Wan and the other Jedi don't pickup immediately on his statement about the Senate? I mean they may not like to believe that Chancellor Palpatine is a Dark Lord of the Sith, but they could always check, it may turn out to be rather enlightening, and would perhaps stop your entire religion being wiped out in the next movie!
Bottom line, this movie seems to be on a nonsensical autopilot. The story is standard, the love story is impossible to believe, the relationship between Master and Apprentice is based on sarcastic jives and adolescent rage, and the action scenes are a bit of a drag. I wouldn't recommend this movie outside of it being just a film you can turn your brain off to and enjoy the pretty images.