Episode II - Dissapontment Strikes Back1!!! Part 3

Rating: Null/10 (25 August 2002)

***choreography***
Boring.... the jedi are just fighting their imagination which does not bode well with a film of this magnitude.... it looks like they tried to fit it all to gether at the last minute.
The lightsaber fights are nowhere near the standart of phantom menace's, Return of the Jedi's or The Empire Strikes back.... theyre boring and unimaginitive. Oh hell theyr not even as good as A New Hope's - that's right even that old thing has better fights that this vulgar monstrosity.
***Music***
I say this with a heavy heart.... John William's score for this film... is below average. I'm sorry John... you did a great job on the other films... The Imperial March, The Theme, Duel of the Fates. Some of the most memorable of all cinema history.... but this score does not cut it... it more cuts the chese... and everybody leaves it alone because it smells. I'm Sorry.
The music of a star wars film makes it what it is... and I can see now that even the man behind Jaws though this film wasn't good enough for his great work - so he gave it something he picked out of his nose.
We hear the familiar themes of the previouse films... but they never take off... ands when you think they will it changes tempo with the scene and goes on to something else... in a star wars movie i feel tingles all down my body when i hear the score. It's almost orgasmic i like it that much... but with Episode two, i got two tingles - once when anakin left amidala to find his mother and it had the same theme as when luke looked longingly at the two suns in A New Hope. The second ttime was a re-make of the imperial march at the end... it was pretty good (but then Yoda said "Begun has this Clone war" or something daft - he looked like somebody just farted).
Without a decent film, a composer cannot function properly. Without a decent score, neither can a film.
***There... that's it***
This marks the ending of my long review... i'm sorry... i just had to get it off my chest... hopefully there will be a petition for george lucas not to make a third turd of a film (or at least get somebody to direct it)... Don't go see this film.... it's probably the third worst film i have seen ever (and i have seen alot).
It's Dull, Boring, Too Long, Unimaginative, cut together at the last moment.
It's up to you now... to tell little children of this and of the original trilogy.... because they probably havn't seen it. Spread the word... lest we forget the ways of a true jedi... and a good film (which this isn't).
Because The original trilogy was just a bunch of great films as well letting us all imagine what could possibly happen next, what happend before... and to let our imaginations run wild...
Best to Worst Star Wars Film (for me :)
1 The Empire Strikes Back 2 Return of the Jedi 3 A New Hope 4 The Phantom Menace 5 Episode 2 (i'm not gonna say it alright!)
Thanks for reading.
I apologise for the brash language (if any) and bad spelling
I'll leave you now with the words of Ewan Mcgregor about George Lucas :
"He couldn't direct p*** in a blanket"