Enjoyment, or Overcoming Your Disturbance with the Force

Rating: Null/10 (1 June 2002)

**BIG-TIME SPOILERS AHEAD**
For a more certain path to the light side  the side that refreshes  it helps to divorce one's mind from the original trilogy and consider the more recent Star Wars movies on their own merits. While bearing the same name, they differ from the first batch in some respects, and comparing them too much can lead to frustration. Frustration leads to anger . . . anger leads to hate . . . and hate leads to . . . well, overheated message boards and chat rooms across the galaxy, I guess.
So as the lights dimmed I settled in with relaxed expectations, ready to have a good time. And to the extent that I followed my own advice, it served me well  and I had fun.
Like an aging warrior with occasional constipation, the story takes a little while to get going. Apparently the Dark Side (along with an air of heavy self-importance) clouds all things as the Jedi Council convenes. Senators commiserate about matters of Great Concern to the Republic. It's kind of like watching a C-SPAN video signal broadcast from a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. But I kid the Jedi Knights.
Soon enough the teen Jedi-in-training, Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) is thrown together with an ex-royal in peril, the lovely Padme (Natalie Portman). As has been widely reported, the ensuing romance is not exactly one for the ages. Acting tends toward the stiff, and the dialogue ("I hate the sand") wanders into ludicrous territory at times. While there is the beauty of Natalie Portman to consider, you may find yourself wishing for some emergency dialogue assistance in these patches. The budding couple amuse themselves by riding and rolling  on alien beasts and in fields of waving grain, respectively.
While the kids get reacquainted, a still youngish Ben Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) shoots off to track down Padme's would-be assassin and stumbles upon a greater threat to the Republic. There is a waterworld here curious to behold, with Kevin Costner thankfully nowhere to be found. Along with the heavy rains, a showdown is precipitated between two of the most cool-headed dudes around: one a bearded Jedi, one a bad-ass bounty hunter whose armor looks awfully familiar.
An hour or more has gone by, and you may feel you've had a moderately good time, owing largely to visual pleasures. Your eyes have feasted on some intriguing backdrops, perhaps lingering also on the good looks of an actor/actress. Your ears have welcomed a few familiar names, noting some (occasionally clumsy) references to future events of the original trilogy. So far it may not be a great outing, but a nice diversion.
Suddenly, the movie finds that its hyperdrive is operational after all, and an action extravaganza ensues, gladiator style. Action? Adventure? Yeah, I know, a Jedi craves not these things; but even the most gentle souls may be ready to chuck that philosophy as the movie pulls the light saber out of it's a** and really gets moving.
And yes, Yoda reveals why he's called Master Yoda in a battle sequence which now has its own television ad campaign. The little guy bounces and hops his way along the fine line between terrific and totally ridiculous, and in any case he seemed a real crowd-pleaser at the showing I attended. Having shrewdly concealed his true powers in the great tradition of singularly-named heroes from Jesus to Columbo, Yoda also manages to emerge as the movie's Master Thespian. His acting is rivaled only by that of Christopher Lee (Dooku), who exudes a wonderfully easy-going sense of menace, suggesting `Yes, of course I'm evil . . . surely there's no problem with that?'
To sum up: While you may find yourself missing certain elements of the original trilogy -- the iconic characters, the fun ensemble chemistry, the use of real (non-CGI) sets, the simpler plotting, the cynical-everyman-quality of Han Solo, the - okay, okay, I'll stop it, you're right, it's not healthy -- there are surely pleasures to be had here: (1) visual backdrops, (2) light saber battling, (3) the thespian stylings of Christopher Lee and Yoda. (Add an areola or two if you find one of the leads especially attractive.) Despite its flaws, you may very well emerge from the latest Star Wars episode pretty jazzed, ready to swing a light saber and kick a little dooku yourself.