An improvement over Episode I... but then, so are most beer commercials.

Rating: 5/10 (4 June 2005)

*the spoilers below pertain to the movie's ending. You have been warned.* (It's actually been a while since I've seen this movie, but I neglected to vote or comment on it at the time. Since I'll be doing so for Episode III, I figured I might as well do this one first as a point of reference.) I will admit up front that I am often a fickle, difficult-to-please movie viewer. I am more than happy to nitpick a film to death, no matter how good it actually is. (In fact, my nitpicking a movie is no reflection on how I felt about it, as even my favorite movies are full of things to critique.) Having said that, I will say that I am not going to nitpick this movie. At least, not here. I've done it elsewhere online, and there's nothing I can say here that hasn't been repeated ad nauseum by others before me.
Like a lot of Star Wars fans, I much prefer the original trilogy over the prequels. The originals may have had stilted dialogue (as some claim), but it was at least entertaining stilted dialogue. The stilted dialogue in these movies is merely informative at best, mind-numbing at worst.
However, Episode II is a vast improvement over the insipid dreck of Episode I. No pidgin English, no cutesy children (unless you count the younglings, which I half expected to see in a Fox cartoon spin-off), and no misguided comic relief in the form of Jar-Jar (though he does have a rather atrocious role in this film, however brief. One could argue his responsibility in the decline of the Old Republic.) In fact, I would have rated this movie higher (perhaps a 7 or 8), had it not been for the unconvincing "romance" scenes between Anakin and Padme. (Okay, so I lied about not nitpicking.) Anakin had some of the worst pick-up lines in the galaxy, yet Padme seems to just eat them up.
And I don't know about you, but having learned that my boyfriend has just slaughtered an entire village does not encourage thoughts of marriage in my mind. (Not that I have a boyfriend, much less a homicidal one.) Yoda's moves were cool, but it seemed rather misplaced for his character. (And yes, judge him by his size, I do.) He apparently lost a lot of spunk in the course of 20 or so years. (And yes, most people do, but most people are't doing backflips at the age of... what, 850 at least?) And the whole separatist/trade federation plot angle continues to confuse me (even in the third movie). Not that I don't follow it; just that I don't see much point to it. I realize it's meant as a catalyst for Palpatine's plans, but it's a rather lame catalyst, in my unhumble opinion.
Other than that, I liked the movie a bit, but it still lacked the laid-back charm of the originals. It left me with little hope for the third prequel, which I knew would have no room to be laid back.
(For best results, hope for eye candy only, with some storyline thrown in.)