Even worse then The Phantom Menace - Spoilers!

Rating: 1/10 (26 May 2002)

I am a huge fan of the first three SW movies, didn't like TPM much, but saw it three times anyway, and went to AOTC believing that it was at least better then Anakin's first movie. I was wrong, it was worse, much worse. And I really wanted to like this one.
I loved the first ten minutes. The meeting of Anakin with Padme was good, much better then the awful trailer made me believe. Hayden is a good actor and he did what he could with the dialogue. The chase was great and although I found it not very logical that the machine which dropped the two poisonous caterpillars went back to its sender, (why not dispose of it, the minute after its use?) it was exciting and gave a great sense of the city and its inhabitants.
What I didn't like was the way Obi-Wan treated Anakin. Any wise man knows if you teach someone who disagrees with you, you NEVER correct him in front of others, you'll wait till you are alone and THEN you talk about his place. If this was intentionally done, to show Obi-Wan as a bad teacher, then it was a good job. But if that's the case, why isn't the way he teaches never criticized by Yoda or Mace Windu?
I had a hard time believing this was, what, eight years after the last movie? Anakin had grown into a fifteen/sixteen year old boy while Padme looked exactly the same age as the last time. And the love-scenes were horrible. Have you ever heard people talk who are in love? Even if one of them is a senator, and the other one a Jedi, even when the conversation is awkward, because you don't know how to talk, even when you are afraid you are going to say something wrong, you will NEVER talk like this. Porn movies have better dialogue. `I hope this kiss doesn't turn into a scar'. Please.
Obi-Wan following Jango Fett was a nice touch and I liked the Yoda and the kids scene, because it showed the little green guy as a teacher, someone who wants his students to be able to learn at every opportunity. The guy who played Jango did a great job and so did his son. The look of the clone-planet was very nice and the aliens looked beautiful. I couldn't really believe no Jedi knew about the order to produce a clone-army, but hé, the dark side clouded this one.
The asteroid scene was nice, but not half as good as the one in Empire. It looked more like a video-game then a movie scène, manly because you already knew Obi-Wan was going to come out alive anyhow.
But then.. Tatooine. I am sorry. Anakin never looked after his mother and then when she is dying he leaves everything behind to rescue her? He can feel her dying, but doesn't know where she is on Tatooine? He finds her, she gives the most horrible dialogue of the movie and then she dies. He kills an entire tribe off screen, and nobody gives a damn? Yoda feels Anakin is in great pain, but doesn't sense his anger? Padme hears him out and never mentions the massacre again?
When Obi-Wan needs to be rescued, she wants to go and Anakin is the voice or reason? I didn't believe a thing.
The convoyerbelt was another videogame sequence, not exciting, belonged in Tomb Raider, not in here. C3PO wasn't funny (What a drag?) Obi-Wan didn't look like a Jedi who could handle himself, Dooku was completly unbelievable (and that's saying something when you have an actor with the caliber of a Lee) and was mainly used as a plot device.
Then the fight with the muppet. Yes, it looked good. No, it was completly silly. Lucas wants me to believe that a small green guy who has to use a stick to walk can fight like that? Why does he need a stick? Because you can only use the Force for good stuff? Please.
The last battle was nicely executed in the arena, and very badly done outside, but right then I didn't care anymore. I was looking at my watch when the movie would be finished. I was out before the titles were finished. I looked at my companions and they thought it was even worse then I did.
Why was every plotdevice explained at least three times? Why did Obi-Wan have to explain everything whe could see for ourselves? (I sense it too). Why was the piece of fruit Padme ate CGI and never touched her mouth? Why did Padme fall in love with Anakin? Why was the most powerful scene in the movie off screen? Why does no Jedi sense what is really happening, when we were told in the OT that this was the time where the Jedi's were at theit strongest?
I saw it, and I will see the next chapter, just for getting a sense of closure, but for me this movie was as bad as last years Tomb Raider, or POTA.
'Doomed this franchise is....'