Chinless George strikes back

Rating: 2/10 (5 August 2004)

I have this vision of what George Lucas must be like as a director. It's 4 in the morning, the lights are hot, everyone is wearing too many robes, and have been doing the same scene for 22 hours straight. Sam Jackson looks like he's about to pop a cap in someone's arse, but he's trying to be cool, look centred and all Jedi -- like in the last scenes of Pulp Fiction.
George has no where to go. Unmarried geek freak, he's capable of making money but never getting a stone's throw near actual art. "Okay people, one more time...and remember, more VIDEO GAME." It's not hard now, when lines too pedestrian to even laugh at are recited for the tenth, twelfth, twentieth time. Samuel L. Jackson has transitioned: from the mushroom cloud layin mutha, to all the dramatic power of a sleepy janitor leaning on his broom at the end of his shift.
I wonder if fans at Star Wars conventions will hold contests, to recite lines from this film with less feeling than the original actors. "That's possible..." is my favourite line (Jackson); though most any of Portman's and any of Christensen's will do. I won't say much about teen-Vader, his performance speaks for itself -- I can't fathom why an actual actor wasn't hired. Whatever the case, this film does make an excellent text for authors on how NOT to write dialogue.
Star Wars was never particularly impressive under close scrutiny. It's science fiction without science; general consumption space-opera. It works with plot, with character, with action. That Joseph Campbell informed mythopoetic tradition is nowhere to be found in this film. Under the thumb of toddler TV direction, it becomes tedious and silly. Characters do not bleed, their hair does not ruffle in the strongest wind. No one vomits over the outrageously distasteful subplot with teen-Vader openly lusting over a woman who helped raise him. When confronted, the princess tells him "it makes me uncomfortable." It makes EVERYONE uncomfortable!
What force does Lucas wield that allows him to wring all of the life out of even the best of actors? To stray so far from entertainment, or good taste? Perhaps he is a clone....