Attack of the Cartoons

Rating: 5/10 (18 May 2002)

If Count Dooku is a Jedi who is sick of the corruption in the Senate, then I'm pretty sick of the mindless corruption of this once great series. Now we have Star Wars Episode II - ATTACK OF THE CARTOONS.
I love George Lucas - he is great story teller, but oh my God, is he bad at directing and writing. There's a good story here - it the birth of the Empire, Anakin is becoming dark, and somehow, I don't know how, George Lucas manages to make it all rather dull.
***Possible Spoilers****
I felt saddened by this film, it flirts with crashing through the barrier of Lucas's banal dialogue and clunky uninspiring direction - and a few times the thrill of seeing Star Wars creeps through, but is snuffed out quickly with more terrible dialogue, or another massive special effect that cracks you over the head with it's hugeness and puts everyone in the punch drunk state that Lucas requires his audience to be in. I'm sure people will say, 'but the dialogue was cheesy in all the films' - yep, it was. But it was also fun, and sometimes poignant.
I also felt sad because people are hailing this film as one of the greatest ever. Have we really got so used to bad cinema? What should be great sequences under a better director are just plain dull - like the asteroid chase. The chase of the Bounty Hunter as the opener is floored because you can see they're just hanging in front of a blue screen and you know Anakin and Kenobi aren't in any real danger as they survive for the rest of the series. It still doens't stop Lucas from spreading this particular sequence out over about 20 minutes.
Thank God for the Yoda fight and the bit at the very end where you see the Empire beginning to form.
But in the meantime, Lucas will make his millions and take that as a sign he's doing a great job. Come on George, get a better writer and director in - Search your feelings, you know it to be true.