Setback Of The Clowns.

Rating: Null/10 (18 December 2003)

Well, this movie did for Star Wars what Rocky did for Artificial Insemination.
The real problems with this film are not the things everyone hated about it - why should they have been surprised after the last diabolical piece of crap that Lucas threw to us like scraps from a table?
This is another example of Hollywood Scizophrenia and too-big budgets.
For whatever reason, instead of producing a Sci-Fi classic reminiscent of the Days Of Yore, Lucas gave us some kind of treacle-dripping love-story that was neither central to whatever plot there was or necessary for anything other than adding length and "Depth" to what is otherwise an empty movie.
For example, we are treated to a scene that seems to have been made for no other reason than to show what looks like a pteradactyl being piloted through a rainstorm ..... I guess it helped to pad out the almost 2 hours until the real Star Wars flick began .... what is truly unfortunate is that even the 6 or 7 minutes of "real" Star Wars was overshadowed so completely by the schmaltz, wooden acting, see-through "plot", stilted dialog, and completely-unnecessary "love-interest".
To save everyone a lot of time, they should have showed "Pretty Woman" and then trailers for the Return Of The Jedi .... that's pretty much what this film came down to being in the end, and much as Star Wars purists hated it for the movie it never really was, I hated it for the movies that it was trying to be instead of trying to be a Star Wars which I thought was the whole idea of this multi-million dollar serving of warmed-over vomit.
I look forward to the final episode almost as much as my next prostate exam with the almost certain knowledge that visiting the doctor WILL be less painful both to my body and my psyche.