I wouldn't let my clone watch this garbage...

Rating: 1/10 (20 November 2004)

I'm thoroughly embarrassed and angered that I wasted five plus hours of my life for this movie. I've decided to post this review because I went to watch the film again after seeing the trailer for the third episode. I hoped that I was wrong the first time, when I saw this disaster in the theatre. I wasn't.
This movie is a combination of a bad script and worse acting. The worst thing about this movie is that it cannot be unmade. It will forever diminish the
greatness of the original three episodes. After a somewhat indifferent reaction from me toward episode 1 and a backlash from a mass of star wars fans about
how bad it was, I thought for sure Lucas would get it right.
Wrong.
Even the special effects, which are amazing throughout most of the movie, take over the story. George Lucas would have done well to take a Peter Jackson- type approach by not letting the visual effects overwhelm the story. They did. And, there is something inhuman and cold about the effects. I was reminded of it while watching the trailer for the third episode. The armies of troops look very digital. There is no warmth or humanity in them like you see in the first three movies where you had to have guys in actual suits to play the parts.
Hayden Christenshianndn........ (not even worth remembering) is an
abomination to this series. Natalie Portman, shame on you! You're supposed to be theatre trained... I am not looking forward to seeing the third movie. I'm struggling because I almost feel obligated to finish out the series. But, I don't know if any of these people deserve my money at the box office.
And, while the Yoda fight is kinda dope, seeing it again makes it seems SO
cartoon. So cheesy. They should have made it a lot more gritty and real and
hard-nosed than try to make a killer battle scene between the most powerful
jedis. After the glitz of seeing it the first time wore off, I have nothing left but to see it for what it truly is.
Also, this crew tried way too hard to fit the story of Darth Vader's rise into three movies. It is too great a time to fit such depth. It shows. The first two movies had to rush to tell stories, and worse than that? The makers didn't even tell a good story or enough story in the six hours or whatever time. Instead, they tried to hide the disgrace they made with lots of digital effects that don't compliment the story and with idiotic, contrived, forced humor and interaction.
Shame on the actors too for not doing more with such junk writing. I know who not to hire in the future.