"Why Do I Think You Are Going to be the Death of Me?"

Rating: 5/10 (26 February 2017)

If Attack of the Clones serves any purpose in the context of the entire saga, it would be to simply expand the universe we had grown to love so much. Looking at it from this perspective, it's a solid film. Lucas manages to introduce us to multiple foreign worlds, environments and species, while simultaneously exposing us to the political and social environments surrounding our characters. We meet Jango and Boba Fett, two of the most legendary phantom characters in all of fantasy cinema. We get the delightful scene in Dex's diner, enriching Obi-Wan's character and allowing for a profound sense that the world we are seeing exists in some sort of reality, one in which people go to a diner and get a coffee. There's the stark and beautiful world Kamino, allowing the story to delve into mythological history and a genuinely compelling riddle. There's the roundtable of Separatist leaders, identified by the clan they represent and their standing within the militaristic hierarchy. There's the Jedi Temple, Geonosis, Tattooine, a genuine spectacle of a universe rendered by truly fantastic animation and world-building largely orchestrated by Lucas.
But make no mistake, Lucas made this film with the intention of establishing Anakin's romance with Padme and the events that lead up to the Clone Wars. The respective failure and success of these story lines, I think, can be traced back to the actor's dominating them.
Can you imagine a recreation of the prequels in which the destruction of Padme and Anakin's love had the equivalent emotional heft as that of Obi-Wan and Anakin's? Natalie Portman is a talented actress, and Hayden Christensen has proved to be effective given the right role, so the answer has to be in the script, and the lack of chemistry between those involved. In particular, the scenes on Naboo are excruciatingly awful and awkward, feeling very juvenile and shallow. There's no real transition between passive friends to passionate lovers to be seen, and despite how intelligent Padme is supposed to be, it's hard to believe while seeing her submit to the irrational advances of a confused Anakin. You really never get the feeling she really hesitated at all despite the potential consequences of their love. Padme is ultimately the reason for Anakin's journey into the dark side of the Force, yet Lucas fails entirely to develop her beyond a simple accessory to Anakin.
As aforementioned, I really appreciate the Obi-Wan story line of this film. I am constantly impressed by Ewan McGregor's turn in the prequels, and he kills it as the detective Jedi in this one. When viewing the prequel trilogy as a whole, it's fascinating to see how Lucas crafted the events that transpire and the Emperor's involvement in nearly every step. Despite any problems with the prequel trilogy, it's tough to ignore the attention Lucas paid to putting together the pieces to the Star Wars saga puzzle in a compelling way. As I said earlier, Dax's Diner and Kamino are delicious glimpses into a Star Wars beyond Anakin's descent into evil, and this is something the technology of the seventies did not allow for.
Despite the thin storytelling of Attack of the Clones, much like Phantom Menace, the film still manages to offer a few moments worthy of the originals. The large-scale battle is nerd candy of the highest order, as seeing Jedi lead a group of Clones into battle can make anyone forget any extended dialogue about the woes of sand. It's clear Lucas thrives in the more spectacle driven sequences in the film, as the film clearly does as well. A group of Jedi charging an army of droids is beautiful and indulgent in the best way, and the barrage of utter creativity in creature and vehicle design for a solid half hour is a merit unto itself. On top of these big moments, there's some delicious visual symbolism to be found here, often drawing parallels between Anakin and Darth Vader or the Republic and subsequent Empire. I've personally always found Shmi Skywalker's death to be powerful in the most ham-fisted and obvious way possible, but effective none the less. This, perhaps more so than Padme's subplot, feels more in line with an actual motive to abandon the light and embrace the dark.
Though Attack of the Clones is derailed by rudimentary storytelling and an unconvincing central relationship, Lucas' prowess in the special effects field and eye for spectacle allows for a worthwhile cumulative effort in the end. For an unbiased cinephile, this film is a pile of trash. But for a lifelong Star Wars enthusiast, it's a guilty pleasure of the highest order, and a somewhat worthy predecessor to the masterwork that is Revenge of the Sith.