You have got to be kidding me

Rating: Null/10 (3 July 2003)

Alas, poor Star Wars...I knew it well....
I endured fluffy teddy bears destroy a legion of Stormtroopers with wooden bows and arrows. I slept through pointless dialogue, terrible accents and cold lifeless CGI as Liam Neeson (who should have known better) pranced around like a Tibetan monk for 2 hours.
But this takes the cake!
Honestly, this has to be one of the most humourous (for all the wrong reasons) films of all time. I couldn't help but laugh at the complete pointlessness and idiocy of some scenes. It was like a cross between Bold and the Beautiful and The A-Team - NO - that would be disrespectful to the A-Team. The actors (and I use the term loosely) had as much on screen charisma and presence as a line of parking meters. Lucas should concede that he is a visionary - not a director. It is no coincidence that the most loved of all the Star Wars films - Episode 5 - was not written nor directed by Lucas. Fair enough, the CGI is very good - but it is just not believable. Movies such as The Matrix and LOTR simply blow these "new" Star Wars films away in terms of professionalism, acting, effects and screenplay. I can't be bothered buying a copy of this film for my collection. But I might rue that decision in case I accidently swallow some drain cleaner and need to make myself throw up. Because sitting through this film for 5 minutes would be the best way to bring that on.
2 out of 10 (all 2 points for Natalie Portman's buns)