Attack of the Crap!

Rating: Null/10 (30 May 2002)

I was sooooo excited to see the new Star Wars movie, I really wanted it to be good despite all of the horrible reviews. Unfortunately I found myself laughing out loud through most of it, it was ridiculous. No pay off, no reward for the horrible acting and childish dialog. The writing must have been dumbed down significantly for kids. The acting, even by actors who are normally really good, was the worst I've ever seen. The 50's diner and characters, the Fifth Element city scenes, the advertising in city streets, the bar with sports games on monitors, the Arrival/AI/X-files aliens, etc...none of it looked or felt like the Star Wars universe developed in the previous movies. It just didn't feel like a Galaxy far, far, far away - it was like everything else we see in movies now. He just relied way too much on the 3D, which I didn't think was very good either. I still like the old models much better than 3D, you just can't get the same detail and lighting quality with 3D. The fight scene with Yoda was the only cool thing in the whole movie and it was very short. The battle sequence was one big cheesy 3D fest, and the jedi knight army wasn't much of an army. What happened to the much talked of jedi knight army in the original movies. This movie destroys all of the grandeur talked about in the original movies of the Clone Wars. The scenes with Anakin and Amadalla were just plain silly - "Hi Annie, I love you and even though you just told me you slaughtered innocent women and children and liked it, I love you and want to marry you. Now lets go frolic in a meadow together.". The acting and writing in this movie, believe it or not, was worse than the garbage we were forced to sit through in Battlefield Earth. No depth or chemistry between any of the characters. I much prefer, despite Jar Jar and the little kid, Episode I. At least with Episode I they gave us great scenes like the beginning with Liam Neison and Ewen McGregor fighting together, the fight at the end with Darth Maul, the deathstar-like space battle at the end, etc. I'm just so upset with the crap he expects all of us to accept, especially now that we have new standards with The Lord of the Rings series. It could have been so good. As far as I'm concerned, Star Wars began with A New Hope and ended with Return of the Jedi.