Attack of the Colon

Rating: 2/10 (19 December 2010)

I give it two stars because of Natalie Portman. It might seem ironic that the only thing I remembered in this heavily "dense" CGI film was the only thing that was real - ie. Natalie Portman's bosom.
But yeah.
I hated the movie because it was stupid, silly and filled with more plot holes than an asteroid belt has rocks.
1. Didn't the Jedi Council - yes, those same wise masters - ever get suspicious about that convenient Clone Army that was created for them - in advance? 2. They still haven't explained why the Jedi and the Sith hate each other.
3. The Jedi are forbidden to marry or fall in love - yet the Council, yes those same wise, all-seeing Knights of the Realm - place Annie and Padme in close proximity to each other. Why? Oh wait, the script calls them to fall in love.
4. Why are the Jedi forbidden to fall in love? 5. The love affair between Padme and Annie was the most contrived and poorly written.
Harrison Ford wrote that Lucas was abysmal in writing speech dialogue - and so Ford changed the script - Lucas, due to his busy schedule, only found out much later and couldn't change it.
Now that Lucas has all the power, he can do whatever he wants. And this is it - Attack of the Colon because I felt like retching at the terrible dialogue.