A bit tedious and too serious for its own good, but still works as a build-up to the final showdown

Rating: 6/10 (11 August 2017)

And there came the second opus of the "Star Wars" prequel trilogy, "Episode II: Attacks of the Clones". These ranking considerations shouldn't matter, nor does the title actually as it doesn't reveal much about the film. But George Lucas who wrote the story knew this was only a build-up into the arc of the most defining character of the saga, Anakin Skywalker, the bridge between the discovery of a young Jedi hope and the tragic surrendering to the Dark side. Clones are tertiary to the plot, it's about a buffer role that the films plays so well it actually overplays it, getting sometimes too 'informative' and serious about these information for its own good. It even reaches the inexcusable point where it gets boring. Say what you want about "Phantom Menace", boring it was not.
Yes, I cringed at the parts where everyone cringed, but that had less to do with the acting than the realization that no one in this universe seemed to either enjoy himself or embody a personality of his own as if characters were all determined by ranks, powers and skills, which might look bad-ass during action sequences but gets rather dull during talkative moments (which the film is full of). Jedi are all "force this" and "force that" and Queen Padme is so wrapped up in her zealous sense of duty, that you almost feel sorry for Anakin who's constantly patronized for his lack of experience and responsibilities. While Anakin's frustrations are integral to his evolution, it nonetheless contaminates the film with his melancholy and angst, joy and fun never felt so far, far away.
In terms of special effect, the film delivers, featuring quite a heart-pounding chase in a futuristic metropolis, going so fast you didn't have to notice the CGI. But for all the dazzling and visual delights it provides, the film doesn't have much to offer in terms of quotes, of wit and again, fun. Everyone is worried and depressed, with this constant bad feeling about something. Even the romance between Padme and Anakin, the story's centrepoint is undermined by constant melancholy and an incapability to enjoy the moment. It says a lot when a simple beach memory leads to a line as infamous as "I don't like sand", but still, this is a quote most people remembered, at least it was original. Hayden Christensen was the scapegoat of all the bad acting accusations but to his defense, who could have delivered such a weird line and get away with it.
So all through the film, I was begging for a few little quirks, just to break the tedium, and I got them with C3-PO and even good old Jar Jar, Christopher Lee as Count Dooku was another fine addition and the climactic showdown redeemed the film a little. And finally, despite all the little weaknesses, when the ending credits started, I had the feeling I enjoyed it to some extent. That says a lot about the power of George Lucas, his films are so interconnected and diluted within the greatness of the saga and its iconic status that it's easy to overlook the flaws. No fan can pretend they don't exist, and as silly or contriver they can be, they're parts of Star Wars' canon as Master Lucas decided. It's quite sad that these movies ruined the careers of the two actors who played Anakin Skywalker: first, Jake Lloyd and then Christensen because the saga survived.
So I don't know if there's anything wrong with Lucas, but fans too should question their attitude, everyone is very stiff and formal in the movie and that includes Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan and Portman tries hard, but given that most scenes are for expository effect and probably shot with a green screen, everyone did the best they could, and Christensen is no Alec Guinness. But even Padmé and Obi-Wan lack that little spark that made us enjoy the interactions between Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia. The blame is on the script that overplayed the tortured mind of Anakin, constantly chaperoned by Ob-Wan to the point that he's never entitled to express a feeling without being reminded to "behave". Obi-Wan (Ewan McGregor) can be rather irritating.
Overall, the film suffers from the same problem than "Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers", it is the missing link, it doesn't rely on the 'rediscovery' not that it ends with the climactic showdown. In fact, it tries to find a way between the two prequels, but is trapped in its in-between status. It has its moments, the romance between Padme and Anakin is touching when you know the outcome and John William's score was so powerful I was surprised it wasn't nominated for an Oscar. The film features many splendid visual moments, and a labyrinthine (though muddy) plot that makes you enjoy the destination rather than the journey but if you consider the big picture, it works, it works because you know the universe is getting more and more familiar and because you know it will only gets better after that, the anticipation of the third act's greatness makes these flaws forgivable.
"Attack of the Clones" works despite itself, Christensen took an unfair backlash, he than an actor who didn't choose the kind of angle of acting that would have reassured the fans, sometimes, his mouth delivers a line and his eye contradict, and it makes difficult to believe that a woman so far-sighted as Padma would instantly fall in love with him. But there's something genuinely pathetic in his performance that underlines his status as victim more than a villain. The loss of his mother while not as powerful as Luke seeing his house burnt is still one of these pivotal moments you keep looking for. In its own right, the film is passable, but as a set-up to the final act, it's better, but who watches it without seeing the third after anyway?