Lucas might be able to direct, but he can't write

Rating: Null/10 (19 May 2002)

It is beyond the time that somebody took the pen out of George Lucas' hand and placed it high on a shelf beyond his reach.
Too often in Attack of the Clones, there were actions and dialogue that didn't serve to further the plot, but rather give reason for some event in a "subsequent" piece of the hexology. Too often, this didn't matter to anyone but Lucas. The "subplot" involving Jango Fett is a case in point.
Too often, the actions of the characters were illogical. For example near the end of the movie, when Yoda does his thing with the falling column. Why didn't he just move the people under it? Would that have been too too easy? And if I was Christopher Lee, I'd certainly never miss a chance to take out an opponent while he was otherwise engaged in saving his allies. And where would somebody in the middle of a flat, arid plain on a desert planet go to find mushrooms? The list is extensive, and is a testimony to Lucas' lack of writing skill. It is no surprise that without Campbell's seminal work beside him, the nuances of a workable plot escape him.
Too often, Senator Padme Amidala (obviously demoted from "Queen" and happy about it) switched clothes with a speed no supermodel could hope to emulate, although her choice of garb was at times mystifying: I still wonder at the leather corset she had donned in the evening she spent with Anakin. Surely something a little more concealing and comfortable was in order? And she has a wonderful white jumpsuit that without apparent cause can become a two-piece number that permits her to display a significant amount of midriff. But by this time I'd given up wondering why time had apparently stood still for her, whilst permitting Anakin to put on ten years. At best, this puts him at 18 and her nudging 30...
Too often, moments that should have been filled with warmth and tenderness as the two would-be lovers attempted to make the most of Anakin's personal time warp, were drab and lifeless. Just like much of the dialogue and acting.
The film wasn't without highlights though: the action sequences were handled quite well - clearly this is Lucas' forte. Yoda showed wonderful coordination at one stage, and was that a neon rendering of ET at the front door of a nightclub?
Thank goodness Lucas' seeming obsession with unusual creatures playing weird instruments was held in check by someone. Mind you, nobody seems to drink anything in the Star Wars world unless it is colored blue.
There was so much to irritate in the movie - a situation so aggravated by the length that it's best end simply, and damn it with faint praise: at least it was better than Phantom Menace.