This Makes The Phantom Menace Watchable.

Rating: 3/10 (20 January 2016)

I'm very sorry if I offended anyone with the title, but you can't lie about something like your honest opinion on a movie. The Phantom Menace at least had Tatooine for a good portion of the film, and also being shot on celluloid instead of THIS (digital video from early 2000s). And Hayden Christensen's classically horrible performance makes this boat impossible to ever jump out of while you're in it; I'd still pick The Phantom Menace if I HAD to choose!
Looking back on this film now, I still find it one of the most painful experiences to sit through: from the horrible acting of Hayden Christensen to the pathetic dialogue and lifeless direction infested with CGI sh** we have no emotional investment for, wow, a turn to the dark side for George this was. Quality over quantity would have been the mindset of a less-visually-stuffy man other than Lucas, because visual effects are a very hard thing to make timeless, especially something as frequently updated as CGI effects and animation. Had somebody like Kubrick or Nolan done this movie, the effects would have been in- camera as opposed to an electronic lab full of inevitable artifacts-to-be (2000-2002 standard computers).
Episode II does not deserve to have the Star Wars name in its title, AT ALL. This is one of the worst mockeries of one of the most prestigious franchises that has ever been made for cinema and shows all the no- no's of making movie prequels. You don't focus completely on people you know will make it later on in the series, like Anakin or Obi-Wan, and even if you do so, why not bend the rules of predictability for the audience instead of a boring 'oh look where Obi-Wan went before A-New-Hope and made it out unharmed'. There should ALWAYS be a flip side of the coin in which the characters live in, but the movie failed to show that; and it failed 'magnificently'. They made it obligatory canon strictly following characters who we know aren't going to be at risk of anything happening to them.
And that's Attack of the Clones. It sucks. It's not a Star Wars movie; not really.