Calling Crow and Tom Servo...

Rating: 1/10 (27 May 2002)

I could have taken this movie with the cliched dialogue and incoherent plot. With both of those AND bad/nonexistent acting and directing, it is quite possibly the worst film I've ever seen. I could only shake my head in disbelief that Lucas could create such garbage.
Bad directing: When Anakin meets up with Watto, the latter has several lines that imply a scene similar to Lando's first scene in "Empire" -- old acquaintances meet, one pretends to be angry at the other, and then the joke is revealed. How much of this do we see in the Watto scene? NONE! Instead we see Anakin fiddling with his hands, not interacting with Watto at all. This goes beyond the difficulty of acting on a blue-screen; Lucas didn't even try to set up the scene. See the refugee transport scene for another example of Lucas sleeping in his director's chair.
Bad acting: The lead actors (particularly Portman and Christiansen) recite their lines mechanically, without any use of dramatic pauses. They sound like they're reading the script for the first time. If either of their characters is supposed to have some physical attraction to the other, we don't see it here; the interaction never goes beyond the "just friends" level.
Brain-dead writing: Anakin has been assigned to stay on Naboo, and nobody seems to care that he runs off with her to ANOTHER PLANET! Obi-wan can't figure out by himself that a planet that clearly exists, but isn't in the records, MIGHT have been erased! Anakin jumps out of his "Fifth Element" hovercar, falls several hundred feet, and lands (safely) on the car he's chasing! And so on.
Apparently Lucas himself has mastered the Jedi mind trick. The weak-minded, who think a movie is nothing but action and visual effects, walk out thinking this is the best movie in the series. Those who expect a romantic drama with a coherent plot walk out nauseated.