Another dent in the legacy.

Rating: 7/10 (22 September 2004)

This makes ALL the same mistakes that made The Phantom Menace the biggest disappointment in cinema history...and adds a truly awful title for good measure. Alluding to sci-fi B movies before you've even reached the opening credits is hardly a stroke of genius, and this bad judgment is present from start to finish.
Amazingly, the utterly ruinous portrayal of Anakin Skywalker manages to be the worst part of Episode I AND II...just with a different actor. Anakin The Hot-Headed Bachelor is every bit as annoying as Anakin The Cutesy Little Twerp. His expression of anger and frustration - at basically everything - is hammy beyond belief, and the foreshadowing of his transformation into Darth Vader is both clumsy and transparent. The weak, superficial romance with Natalie Portman is the final nail in the coffin of a truly woeful performance.
The CGI is as expensive as ever, and also as conspicuous and unrealistic. How embarrassing that, after 20 years and a lot more money, the special effects - particularly the rendering of characters like Yoda - actually look WORSE than those of the original trilogy.
Once again, the script is poor, the plot spins off in all the wrong directions, and the principal villain is a let down. Whereas Darth Maul looked spectacular and was left with no dialogue and no character, Christopher Lee looks nowhere near as striking. He is thrown a few more lines than his predecessor, but is still isolated from centre stage. The half-hearted attempt at moral ambiguity simply diminishes his evil status even further. He is never frightening or imposing, a far cry from the supreme menance radiated from the original Darth Vader.
The final light saber showdown was the only good thing about The Phantom Menace...here, it gets off to a brilliant start - Yoda is an absolute revelation - then fizzles out in a terrible anti-climax. How on earth did George manage to screw up a light saber battle in a Star Wars film?! This is the epitome of his miserable failure in continuing the saga.
Is Episode II better than Episode I? It has become popular to say so...in truth, these films are equally poor. Many fans, desperate to whip up some excitement over Episode III, have done their best to clutch at straws, but that is all they are doing. Attack of The Clones is every bit as much a disappointment as The Phantom Menace...just less of a surprise.
Copying practically everything that went wrong first time around does not bode well at all for the (I hope) final installment. More than likely, Episode III will be the sorry conclusion to George Lucas's attempt to destroy the memory of three of the greatest films ever made.
This generation is much better off turning their attention to The Lord of The Rings (which would have matched the original SW trilogy, were it not for the over-long final film).