Don't be a sheep. This is a bad movie.

Rating: 1/10 (28 May 2002)

In Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, George Lucas has finally put the kibosh on this once glorious series. The fun and melodramatic world of Luke, Han, Leia, and Chewie has been chewed up and spit out into a cud of technological mishmash and confusing, boring plot lines. Though hints of the old magic are there, Lucas absolutely refuses to engage with it, choosing glitter over substance.
First, what was good with this movie? Regrettably, there is very little to say. Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan and Christopher Lee's Count Dooku were the only characters I enjoyed seeing on the screen. I don't want to give anything away, but one of the new planets was exhilarating, there was one good fight scene, and one good chase scene.
What was bad? Alas, I have only 1000 words. First, the plot was dull. Beginning the movie with an intergalactic vote is hardly a way to create interest. Also, everything felt derivative. There were pale copies of settings and scenes from Blade Runner and Fifth Element. And the battle scenes are unintelligible, inhuman copies of battles from Episode I.
The development of the Jedi doesn't occur. The magic of their type is forgotten, they are made common, vulgar, and dull.
The acting is horrible. Christensen, as Skywalker, slurs his lines and is unbelievably inarticulate. It was a tough character to pull off: arrogant, angry, fearful, increasingly evil, and falling in love. Lucas needed a better actor. Portman, whose monotonous rambling normally puts me to sleep, turned into a real actress next to Christensen's meager attempts. Oh, yes, and these two fell in love? When? In one of those terribly boring and embarrassing, incongruous relationship scenes?
This film was episodic and had no flow. The acting was terrible, the story, worse. There was no fun in this movie, the only characters who inspired humor and lightness were Kenobi, R2D2, and C3PO. This series feels, right now, as if Lucas is just going through the motions, putting as much fluff and glitter on it as he can, like a sitcom or TV series that ran its course years ago, and he is just trying to end it for the sake of ending it. I ask you, George, why bother?