Characters were here, now they're there. This was happening, now that's happening...

Rating: 5/10 (18 May 2005)

I was honestly surprised by 'Attack of the Clones'. It was so disappointing, even after 'The Phantom Menace', that I could hardly believe what I was seeing. There are no characters, just a few caricatures wandering around the galaxy and waiting to do something. The extent of the character development was giving each character a name and an occupation, and that's about it. There was no real plot, and none of the characters seemed to have any motivation. In fact, many action scenes just began on their own, coming from nowhere with a booming, albeit good, John Williams soundtrack. While I was watching this movie I kept asking "Where is this happening? What's going on?" The acting was high school drama quality, with stiff wooden delivery, as though the actors were reading from cue cards without comprehending their lines. Their trouble delivering lines was made even more obvious by the overwhelming special effects. Most of the film looked like it was recorded in front of a green screen. The actors were constantly taking obvious care to hit their marks, looking almost robotic in their movements. So, these listless automatons are whisked through a series of implausible and confusing scenarios, often without even the benefit of transition scenes. They were here, now they're there. This was happening, now that's happening. Random scenes with little rhyme or reason. I had a bit of fun watching it at home. Definitely can't hold a candle to the original trilogy, though.