As Emperor Joesph said, "Too Many Notes"

Rating: 6/10 (23 February 2007)

When a movie has so many CGI effects that it starts to look like a Playstation video game, you know it's not convincing. This is one of the problems with George Lucas's "Star Wars" prequels, and it certainly shows in its middle chapter, "Attack of the Clones." The final battle on Planet Geonosis is indicative of this problem, as we watch hordes of Storm Troopers flying in spaceships blasting away at the enemy's spherical vehicles, resulting in bright, fluorescent explosions. It was just too much for my senses to take in. Models and puppets were far more interesting to watch than this.
The plot, unfortunately, also suffers from the same problem of the special effects: to many things going on at once that the audience can't keep up. Lucas should definitely have hired a brilliant screenwriter to cut away the byzantine political intrigues and tortuous plot turns that hamper the action and flow of the movie. Lucas should have stuck to a more linear and straightforward plot line that followed in the footsteps of the original "Star Wars" movies. A talented writer could have made the prequels truly epic and worth the hundreds of millions that they made.
The acting, in contrast to the storyline and special effects, was rather dull. Hayden Christensen, as "Annie" Skywalker, seemed rather bored with his role as the main protagonist. Natalie Portman, as beautiful as she is to behold on the screen, is also deadpan and flat as Anakin's love interest, Queen Amidala. The chemistry fails to fizzle, and, as many others have commented, Lucas simply did not write good dialogue for the love scenes between Anakin and Amidala. Ewan McGregor is a fairly better actor than either, and does fine as Obi-Wan Kenobi, but is not as good as he would be in the final "Star Wars" movie, "Revenge of the Sith." We hardly see any of Ian McDiarmand as the Evil Emperor, so we miss his potential as a compelling villain. One bright note is Christopher Lee as Count Dokoo. He seems a bit deadpan, but his magisterial British accent and snide sneers at a captive Obi-Wan Kenobi are fun to watch. Thankfully, Lucas took a hint and cut the execrable Jar Jar Binks character to nothing more than limited cameos. A few good scenes include the speeder chase in Coruscant and the arena battle with the computer-generated monsters, which seem like a direct homage to Ray Harryhausen's creations. The latter brought a melancholy hint of nostalgia to me, as it seems fantasy movies have declined rapidly since Harryhausen's day.
This movie is nowhere near as brilliant as "Empire Strikes Back," the best overall "Star Wars" movie; "Return of the Jedi," which had the best settings and special effects; or "Star Wars," the original, with brilliant acting by Alec Guinness and Harrison Ford. In short, "Attack of the Clones" is a baroque, garish light show which has little to recommend to it save for a few choice, disconnected scenes. It's not too terrible, but it's not that good, either.