.and the Star Wars saga makes a massive comeback!!

Rating: 8/10 (28 May 2002)

It was no small task for George Lucas to make up for that ridiculous mess that bore the title of Episode I. While Episode II: Attack of the Clones was far from unflawed, it is vastly superior to its predecessor, providing for some serious entertainment and a huge relief for Star Wars fans around the world. Sadly, Star Wars has sank to the level at which many people are almost ashamed to like the new films anymore, an unfortunate fact which has come about solely as a result of Episode I, and the failure of Episode I is due in no small part to the abysmally moronic addition of a character like Jar Jar Binks, who is easily one of the most popularly hated characters ever put on screen. On the other hand, Episode II runs a strong campaign as the worst script of any Star Wars film which has ever been or (hopefully) ever WILL be made.
What you have in Episode II is a spectacular piece of computer animation that presents some spectacular battle scenes, chases, landscapes and settings, new and interesting aliens, etc. This part of the film is just as fascinating as was expected, and the hand to hand combat scenes as well as the aerial maneuvering scenes are wonderfully well-done and entertaining. However, there is the addition of a love scene between Anakin Skywalker and Senator Amidala. Now, the Jedi have long since been know to be forbidden to express the emotions of love, hate, anger, etc., so it is obvious from the outset that the addition of a love story into the Star Wars world can only have negative results. This awful love story couples with the MASSIVE amount of confusing political dialogue that makes up much of the film, which can do nothing but confuse all but the most dedicated and knowledgeable Star Wars fans. I like that Lucas has placed so much emphasis on expanding the story that he has already created, but at the same time it is disappointing that people who watch the movie for some good entertainment are being alienated in favor of the stereotypical Star Wars geek.
When I first saw posters in theaters advertising Episode II, and saw the tagline `A Jedi Shall Not Know Anger. Nor Hatred. Nor Love,' along with a romantic picture of Anakin and Amidala, my heart sank. This is exactly the kind of thing that ruins one Bruckheimer film after another, and now it's going to plague the Star Wars saga. Needless to say, my expectations for the film sank even lower than they did as a result of Episode I, because in that poster I saw the makings of a cheesy teenage romance. When I actually saw the film, I found that it far exceeded the disappointing quality of its predecessor, while at the same time being continually brought down by the hideous romance. I always try to keep an open mind about movies, especially ones which have such a dedicated fan base and such a huge reputation as the Star Wars films, but this is by far one of the worst presentations of a love story that I have ever seen. Every bit of dialogue that takes place between Anakin and Amidala is pathetically clichéd, rendering their romance (or lack thereof) nothing more than an anchor that held the rest of the film down.

There is not a single memorable acting performance throughout the entire film, either. It was good to see Samuel L. Jackson adding his part to the series again, but even his small part was wooden and mechanical, as though he were either reading cue cards or reciting lines that he had rehearsed hundreds of times. Hayden Christensen is the most disappointing addition to Episode II besides the ridiculous Jar Jar (I'll get to him later), mumbling his way through his lines and at some points even sounding like a pouting 10-year-old who's had his toys taken away (the line `Someday I'll be the most powerful Jedi ever' is impressive in a tired cliché kind of way, but he delivers it like a whiny little kid). Natalie Portman was never convincing for a second in any of her role in the Star Wars saga as a young Senator, and in Episode II she delivers more of the same childish political mumbo jumbo as in the last movie, but at least she TRIES to take herself seriously, which Christensen doesn't. She's about as right for this role as Denise Richards was for the freaking nuclear physicist in The World Is Not Enough, one of the worst Bond films ever created, and in Episode II her character is made even less convincing as she goofily grins her way through this dumb teen crush.
The film ultimately builds to a wildly impressive shot of the Clone armies loading in perfect lineup onto the massive star ships which are to take them to their attack, and then we get a sort of Lord of the Rings ending, in a way, in that the movie ends right where it seems to be beginning. While the beginning of the end credits are accompanied with a bitter sense of disappointment, I can't help thinking that this will wisely add to the expectation of Episode III, and I don't hold this ending against the film as a whole any more than I did that of The Lord of the Rings. With the exception of the astonishingly idiotic romantic subplot, Episode II is a hugely entertaining piece of cinematography with many references to the Star Wars story as a whole, which are sure to delight dedicated fans (although not all of these allusions are impressive or even necessary). Whether you hate the new films just because they don't do justice to the classics or you love them just because they're Star Wars films, there are things here that are just undeniably thrilling (such as, for example, Obi-Wan's flying leap out the window early in the film to catch the spying droid and, even more, the immensely impressive fight scene where Yoda works his Jedi magic).

Okay, speaking of Yoda - Yes, he looked completely different than he did in the original series, and YES, he can FIGHT! His fight scene was by far the most memorable in the film, and it ended in a brilliant way (in which neither opponent lost, and neither won). It was Episode II's version of the hugely impressive fight scene between Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Darth Maul in Episode I, and this year's version hugely improved upon that one in that, instead of the pathetically disappointing end of the fight that we got in Episode I, we have a much more mature and memorable end in Episode II.
And, of course, let's not forget Jar Jar Binks. This is a character that was added to the saga in Episode I to the gigantic disappointment to the movie going public in general, and because he has been bashed probably in every review ever written about this film or the last one, I will instead give my theory as to why he was in Episode II at all. George Lucas applied his brilliant imagination (which, by the way, is FAR superior to his directing skills) to the creation of Episode I, wanting to come up with a unique character to renew interest in the series. He came up with Jar Jar, put him in the film, and was greeted with massive disgust, even (and, indeed, ESPECIALLY) from his most dedicated fans. It was revealed fairly early that he planned to bring the character back in Episode II, which left ME feeling that he didn't care what the public thought if it went against his own preferences. However, when the movie was released, we find that Jar Jar has a hugely down-sized role, which makes it clear that Lucas knew that he is a hated character and should not be in the movie. However, he can't simply take him out entirely because that would be like admitting that he was wrong, so basically I think that Lucas left him in, only a little bit, to avoid making what would essentially be an internal apology. No one wanted to see Jar Jar, but removing him completely would have been too much of a step backwards for Lucas to take and still maintain some cinematic integrity.

As a whole, Episode II clearly has its share of positive and negative qualities, and it carries the rare distinction of containing what seems to be more than its share of both. There are thrilling battle and fight scenes delivered in highly impressive digital photography and interspersed with god-awful love scenes and flat, rigid dialogue pretty much throughout. In comparison to the original films, especially the 1977 Star Wars, Episode II is little more than an attempt to pass an inferior story along under the guise of some impressive special effects, but as far as the new films, Episode II comes through to revive the series from the dismal effects of the disappointing Episode I. And it's a good thing, too, because after Episode I, the Star Wars series badly needed a good boost.