Episode II: Attack of Episode I!

Rating: 6/10 (16 June 2003)

I've seen this movie four times now, and I still contend that nearly all of its problems are bleed overs from the disastrous decision to cast Jake Lloyd as Anakin in Episode I. Let's look at this logically.
Anakin's character is, unfortunately, woefully underdeveloped. Why? Because after one whole movie supposedly starring Anakin Skywalker had been produced, we still had no idea who he was. Why? Because Jake Lloyd was used in the first film. In the name of all things sacred, I cannot fathom why this decision was made. If Hayden had been cast in Episode I instead of Lloyd, just think of all things that suddenly get a hell of a lot better in BOTH films:
1) The romance between between Anakin and Padme could have been allowed to develop over two films instead of one (see A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back), circumventing the need for the atrocious dialogue and rushed storyline of the "love" scenes in Attack of the Clones.
2) Anakin and Obi-Wan could have developed a more "friendly," warm relationship, so that Anakin's defiance of Obi-Wan in Episode II would seem more of a typical teenage rebellion and less like he was just a complete jerk. Remember, Obi-Wan calls Anakin "a good friend" in A New Hope. I didn't see any friendliness between the two in this film, however.
3) One of the big problems with Episode II is that the scene where Anakin's mother dies lacks the emotional fire it should really have. This is due to two reasons: the first is that the actress playing his mother really turns in a performance worthy of The Gong Show, but the second is that, as I mentioned before, we don't KNOW Anakin enough to care. Why? Because he's been two different people --- it's hard to get THAT attached to someone in an hour, especially given the scope of this story. The audience should have been building its identification with Hayden as Anakin in Episode I, making the work of Episode II to tell his story, rather than re-introducing a character that should have been well known by this point.

The moral of the story is that if you know ahead of time you are going to make three films about one central character, pick someone who can play that character in ALL THREE MOVIES!!!! Maybe, just maybe, Episode III will be far enough along in the story to have shed the after-effects of Jake Lloyd, but I doubt it. That stupid little kid has ruined this prequel trilogy. Hayden's acting is cheesy, but hell, so was Mark Hamill's. Besides, he's eighteen, eighteen-year-olds are over dramatic about things. They're all like that. Give Hayden a break. It's Jake Lloyd, and Lucas's decision there, that deserves the real calumny. Oh, and Natalie Portman, hot or not, was actually embarrassing in this film.