It's as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror...

Rating: 3/10 (7 November 2010)

Rather than listen to the desperate pleas of millions of Star Wars fans worldwide, George Lucas ploughs ahead with Attack of the Clones in precisely the same manner that made The Phantom Menace a disappointment of star destroyer proportions: there's even more boring political subterfuge, even more dreadful CGI, even more ridiculous OTT action sequences (worst bits being Obi Wan and Anakin in pursuit of an assassin and the very silly droid factory sequence), and even more bloody Jar Jar Binks!!
And if all that doesn't make you want to hurl yourself into the nearest available Sarlacc pit in a fit of despair, then the badly written, poorly acted, sappy burgeoning romance between Anakin Skywalker and PadmÃ© Amidala will probably do the trick.
About the only things that Lucas does right are to cast Hayden Christensen as the now-grown up Anakin, because his lousy acting perfectly complements the wooden performance given by Jake Lloyd in TPM, and to get Natalie Portman out of those bloody stupid queen outfits and into something a little sexierâ€”I'm not particularly a fan of Ms. Portman, finding her to be 'classically pretty' rather than smoking hot, but I have to admit that she does look rather delicious in her tight white outfit with impossibly toned midriff on display.