Perfectly Executed, Horribly Written

Rating: 8/10 (28 July 2002)

Dear Mr. Lucas.
Please direct and produce films and stop writing. You are a great visionary but you are not funny and you have no romantic or passionate sensibility. Please stick to your strengths and hire a writer for Episode III. You can afford it. Yours truly, danb-4.
That sums this movie up for me. As dumb as Phantom Menace, maybe even dumber, but wow, what a ride. This movie was so much fun to watch and very entertaining. The much maligned romantic plot between Anakin and whats-her-name deserves all the bashing it is getting and more. And the pitiful attempts at comedy with 3CPO and the "witty banter" between Obiwan and Anikan are so bad they hurt.
But, unlike Episode I, there is more that enough style to make up for the lack of substance. The rain planet and the aliens that make the clones are the best thing this series has put on screen. There are great action sequences and the extended use of Yoda was very gratifying.

As Yoda says to Count Dookoo, "Much to learn, you still have." Mr. Lucas should heed these words himself. He cannot write. If you look for plot and character substance in this film, you will be gravely disappointed. The romantic scene between Anakin and Padme where he talks about sand is so bad, it looks like it was cut from a Naked Gun film.
See this on a digital screen if you get the chance. I saw this in Waterloo Ontario at the Galaxy Cinema and the entire film was crisp and sharp from corner to corner, with brilliant sound and sound editing. I cannot give Attack of the Clones too high a rating, but it is a movie that will need to be seen on a big screen. Go and enjoy - making fun of it later will be part of the fun. *** out of ****.