For hardcore, joyless, continuity-obsessed geeks only

Rating: Null/10 (12 July 2002)

This one is dumb. I mean, lousy-TV dumb. "Battlestar Galactica" dumb. Dramatically infantile, with laughable, wooden dialog--an endless strings of unwatchable cliches. And so, so long and boring. Ridiculously convoluted. You need to take notes, except that you're bored, it's nice out, and your mind keeps wandering. Looks fantastic, but even the big effects sequences are starting to wear thin as Lucas churns out more from the same trusty molds: a dogfight in an asteroid belt, a high-speed air-car chase through a busy futuristic metropolis. No jaw-dropping moments, no "holy-cow-how-do-they-even-THINK-of-this-stuff" set pieces, no really inspired creative vision. And--most unforgiveably for a popcorn flick--not a single iota of FUN. I suspect that the fans who praise this dreck are emotionally and psychologically wound up in the Star Wars "universe", and really don't give the slightest damn about the actual Star Wars FILMS. Because, evaluated against even the most basic criteria (characters, plot, pacing, tension, etc), this film is an embarrassment.