Star Bores

Rating: Null/10 (18 May 2002)

I enjoyed this movie, but despite the whiz-bang effects it is light-years away from the magic that propelled the original `Star Wars' to such phenomenal popularity in 1977.
The original film had a tightly edited pace that never let you catch your breath. It was full of well -timed humor, suspense, playful dialogue among an effervescent cast, and loaded with action. It was a cinematic roller-coaster ride. The 1977 film shamelessly and openly stole from the best of the movie action-adventure genre, and was even a bit of a self-parody.
In contrast, it takes AOTC 90 minutes to accelerate from 0 to 60 mph. It's a bit glum, serious, pretentious. It completely lacks the sparkle, dynamics and camaraderie among the actors in the original Star Wars. The `love scenes' are so dull I actually reclined and closed my eyes. Do we REALLY have to sit through this soap opera for Luke Skywalker & Princess Leia to be born?!
The poor Jedi Knights, described so intriguingly by Alec Guiness in the first film, come off about as excitingly as watching a board meeting (yes they finally, finally kick butt in the late scenes). For example, Yoda tells one Jedi to `go meditate' to figure out who altered a star map. Sheesh, what edge-of-the-seat adventure! For being so smart the eclectic Jedi Club seem clueless. No wonder they got wiped out.
Poor R2D2 and C3PO look like excess baggage in AOTC. They originally were supposed to provide continuity among ALL three trilogies, but they have been diminished to bit players, props. In the original Star Wars the interplay between R2D2 and C3PO was a wonderfully endearing `Laurel and Hardy' comic relief that kept giving the movie a `kick in the pants' when needed. (Yes, C3PO can be annoying, but at least he has an `off' switch, unlike Jar-Jar)
It's also weird watching this film plod along toward what you know is GOING to happen in the second trilogy. It's about as suspenseful as watching a WWII documentary. You know exactly how the good guys win, and that poor Aniken is headed toward being a walking `iron lung' machine (not too soon for my tastes).
There are lots of fun scenes and memorable dialogue from the original film. These latest two installments in the first trilogy are largely forgetful, take themselves too seriously, and are glacial in pace. They sputter away from the electricity of the first Star Wars not long after the opening scrolling story text.