Looks Great! Sounds Awful! (and we ain't talking about the brilliant sound effects)

Rating: 6/10 (31 March 2003)

First off, George Lucas is an elite for having so much influence on the art of movies; and why we go to them. He's put his hard earned millions back into improving the art form, so story tellers can better realize their vision on film (& digital). He constantly pushes the envelope to take the medium into new and wonderful directions. And he has vision!
His 'THX' and 'Industrial Light and Magic' companies have elevated films to a brilliant quality thought unreachable. He is unquestionably a movie maker. But recently, he's fallen far short as movie director. And as for writing dialogue...it's spotty at best (even with help).
And that is the problem with 'Attack of the Clones'. I so very much wanted to like this movie alot more than I did. And I do like alot of it. It has many, many grand moments. But the problem stems from the fact that Lucas, simply put, is wearing too many hats. By itself, directing is a huge undertaking. So is producing! And so is writing! And how many different companies does he head?? With so many talented directors and dialogue writers...it's not like he didn't have the money to invest in them. It would have been better if he had 'kicked himself upstairs to executive producing'(again), bit the bullet and allowed some talented people who know their jobs to step in to help bring his vision to life.
Ya git what ya pay for! And because he took on so many duties himself, he didn't have to pay out the extra money (or points). So his talent is spread pretty thin.
Where did the money go toward? The fantastic special effects and the digital domain. The movie looks...stunning!!! The visuals are like a work of art AND a work of genius. Great color spectrum! The sets are wildly imaginative with little dashes of familiar cultures sprinkled through out. 'Star Wars' has always been synonymous with 'eye candy' and 'Attack...' is no exception.
But it's hard not to cringe at some of the dialogue that even insults the intelligence of a 12 year old (my 10 year old picked that up on his own). If money was the issue; then Lucas should of sold barf bags during the Ani/Padme love scenes at 10 cents each. That alone would have netted him a billion dollars.
Three years ago, I assumed Lucas' administration duties made him a tad rusty for directing (& writing) 'The Phantom Menace'. And that things would improve with the next chapter (and there was alot I liked about '...Menace', and alot I didn't). But the warning bells began to sound during a theatrical preview for '...Clones' in December of 2001 when Padme recited that god-awful line, "Ani??? My Goodness! You've grown!!". Uh-oh! Here we go again!
'Empire Strikes Back' remains in my top 10 faves! It's a landmark film because: it improves upon the original (arguably); has better special effects than the original; and dares to end in a cliffhanger. Most importantly: the acting; the direction; and the dialogue is more mature and more natural. The actors are also more natural delivering their lines with a more leisurely pace. It bridges that difficult gap of giving equal entertainment to both children and adults. Screen writer Leigh Bracket (for 'Empire...') whose credits include 1946's 'The Big Sleep', is a far cry from choosing a screen writer who wrote 'The Scorpion King??'. The difference in quality is obvious.
(A hypothetical example: In 'Empire Strikes Back', Han and Leia are escaping from the ice planet Hoth during the Empire's assault on the planet surface. As 3PO lags behind, Han yells, "Hurry up, Goldenrod! or you're gonna be a permanent resident." That line, in the new films are on the quality of, "Come-on, 3PO! Run faster or they're gonna catch us." See the difference?)
'AOTC' actors have already proven their talent in other movies. But when actors are forced to spout kindergarten dialogue, get substandard direction AND work off a blue screen: it's just too big a challenge that's gonna result in getting them unfairly lamblasted by fans and critics alike. Audiences don't need characters to spoon feed them dialogue that tells them what's going on, while the audience can already SEE what the screen is already SHOWING them what is going on. Too bad the film makers didn't realize that 'audience intelligence' and 'film language subtlety' make a wonderful marriage.
And Lucas can be a good director...he proved that with 'American Graffiti' (another movie that broke the rules...successfully). But he's just wearing too many hats of responsibility.
AND JUST FOR FUN! What's with that name Count "DooKu"?? Sounds like a messy case of dog diarrhea left steaming on someone's carpet.
Or Yoda's quick wit when he tells Dooku (that name again), "I sense the dark side in you". OH REALLY??? Let's give Yoda a gold medal as 'Champion of the Obvious'.
And how we're supposed to believe Padme is a great politician, when it seems her biggest contribution to the Republic is breaking the record for the most wardrobe changes in one hour.
And speaking of her wardrobe...ain't she 'The Tease'!!! while wagging her finger "No! No!" at Ani's advances.
And speaking of Annie!!! (I know it's spelled Ani...but still). Is anyone else uncomfortable that there's gonna be an "Annie" under Vader's helmet??? Why not "Gertrude"??? Or "Patty"!!!
The direction the prequels are heading for is turning A New Hope for episode 3, into A No Hope!
I, along with millions of movie lovers, am forever grateful for Lucas in providing hundreds of hours of repeat entertainment he has created with the Star Wars universe. This has NEVER been a story of the future (even though it's so often erroneously referred to as a story that takes place in the future). His mythology will continue to entertain generations for a long time to come.
As the logo for 'THX' says, "The Audience Is Listening". Besides movie magic special effects...the audience listens to dialogue too, something the film makers forgot.
The DVD does sound phenomonal! And I'm happy to own it (for the kids sake, of course).
For Episode 3...if I hear that line one more time: "I have a bad feeling about this!", I may start looking around to make sure I know where the exit signs are.
But I still feel indebted for 'Star Wars' for giving sights & sounds never heard before. And love that homage to Ray Harryhausen!