The writing pitiful is... spoilers

Rating: Null/10 (13 June 2002)

Attack of the Clones is a beautiful film to LOOK at, and digital projection shows it to great advantage. But nothing can rescue it from its terrible writing.
WARNING, SPOILERS AHEAD> TACTICAL problems of jaw-droppingly bad individual lines (there are others, these are just the worst of the worst offenders):
* Anakin's preposterous line about how he hates sand because it's rough, whereas everything on Naboo is "soft and smooth", and then he tentatively strokes Amidala's bare back. This makes "What's your sign?" seem sophisticated by comparison.
* C3PO's head being pulled by R2D2 on a string through the arena: "This is a drag." Other lines by C3PO, intended as comic relief, are just as bad.

* "I'm haunted by the kiss you never should have given me."

STRATEGIC writing problems (the worst of the worst):
* The good guys get an arena-style execution for no adequately-explained reason. The good guys get away while thousands of bad guys sit around watching, instead of stopping them. Whatever happened to the old reliable Off With Their Heads, in a back room where your friends don't know to save you?
* A pointless chase through a factory, where Our Heroes escape being smashed by heavy machinery -- at the last second. Over and over and over.

* Anakin's mother dies literally seconds after Anakin rescues her. To increase the pathos. That also is intended to justify Anakin's sudden, savage revenge -- but THAT happens COMPLETELY off-stage, and is only described verbally, thus robbing it of its impact.
True, the point of this Episode 2 is to foreshadow events in Episodes 4 5 6; but once the foreshadowings are subtracted out, there isn't enough just plain PLOT left to hold this film together on its own. What's remains is just barely enough to serve as an excuse to hold the eye-candy together.

Out of 5 *'s, I give: 1/2 * for writing, 5 *'s for eye-candy, 2 *'s overall.