Steeeeeerike Two

Rating: 5/10 (26 May 2002)

George Lucas steps up to the plate... He swings the Phantom Menace, and he misses. Things are getting tense down on the mound, the pitcher is just CG but obviously so. Here's the pitch, George Lucas swings the Clones, and misses yet again.
It's ok, it's not the worst movie ever made or anything, but it's definitely down there near the bottom of the Science Fiction heap.
Please, oh PLEASE, stop the "foreshadowing" crap that ruined this film. Please, don't have Annakin say things like "One day, I'll be the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy" followed by a few seconds of the Death Star theme from the original Star Wars. Understand this: the movie is so full of this that it hurts to watch.
Wooden actors and poor CG did the rest to ruin this film. There's one particular scene where OB1 and Annakin open a door. The door is CG. It's obvious, and ugly. Why not just rent a backhoe for the day, put a fancy door on it, and lift it on cue? It would have looked SO much more believable. Most CG scenes looked like garbage, and most of the movie is CG. Yes, I am saying that visually it was garbage.
The original Star Wars worked because they were relatively unknown actors, and yet totally believable. Ok, Mark Hamil "sucked" as Luke Skywalker (according to some), but to me he seemed like a real person. I live in an area surrounded by farms, and Luke was the very picture of a farm boy thrust into world events. The characters in this movie just plodded through events with no real emotion or character.
Plot holes? Sigh.... far too many, and Hollywood cliches were too painful too. If you saw it, you know what I'm talking about.
This was a love story according to some. Where was the love? There was no love. At no point did I believe that the two main characters had anything even close to approaching affection for each other. If this is what you think "love" is, then I really pity you. If I had been reminded one more time "I'm a senator" I was ready to run out screaming. And then the foreshadowing. Sigh.
I paid $27 for two of us to see this movie, and I'd really like $20 of it back, along with the three hours of my time that I'll NEVER get back. This movie is for renting and playing in the background while doing other, more important, things. Like, say, ironing or cleaning the cracks in your hardwood floor.