Just not good - admit it!!

Rating: Null/10 (28 May 2002)

***********Warning Spoilers****************
I decided to take a few days after watching this to post my review, giving me time to mull things over. Frankly this film is a disappointment.
When you have an almost unlimited budget, the best CGI specialists working for you, no time pressure to deliver the finished product and actors queuing round the block in their desperation to work for you, then really there is no excuse for this being presented as the final product.
I'll start by tackling one of the good' aspects of the film. The idea that Palpatine has created this false separatist movement to enable him to effectively usurp the Senate and put to use a clone army of the Republic is pretty neat. Excellent, terrific, well done George! It's hardly the most cunning plot idea ever but it's good enough and explains well how Emperor Palpatine comes to power. Some however have suggested that this somehow makes up for The Phantom Menace  that it explains why the first instalment seemed so disjointed and frankly amateurish. This is utter tripe. The TPM storyline / plotting was just rubbish and the events of AOTC should not be used as some sort of figleaf to cover this. But heck I'm man enough to let bygones be bygones.
Now I've read a few of the reviews on this site that have been of the get real' variety. I agree wholeheartedly, this is Star Wars not Shakespeare or some deep, weighty film about the human condition. Thus I would suggest George Lucas remember this. It seems obvious to me that old George, in his quest for the creation of a mythic and enduring morality tale, has forgotten something  a myth or fable need not be childish. Emotions do need to be writ large upon the screen and character traits and ideas of fate and destiny conveyed via a bludgeon to the audience. I mean the pseudo-Noo Yawk caff with the chummy short-order cook / owner - urrrghhh...I mean please, please, please try and treat me with a little modicum of respect. In fact who the hell was this aimed at? Children under a certain age would not care, teenagers would think this was just lame - this is just an example of sheer self-indulgence at the cost of the audience.
This is what annoyed so many people in the audience when I saw it and which resulted in laughter at some of the supposedly deep moments'  I mean for chrissakes did Anakin's mother really have to die in his arms  that got a real good laugh, which I assume wasn't the aim. Or do evil characters really need to have names like Sidious, Tyrannus? I await the formidable presence of Darth Eee-Will next. Does Anakin, to show the dangers of power without maturity, really need to whine like a 7 year old when he's supposed to be 16 or so? Even children over the age of 8 would be insulted by such idiocy. It is really necessary for Mace Windu to suddenly do a Samuel L. Jackson Bad-Man patented moment with This party's over'  again raised a laugh not of delight at recognition but at the sheer stupidity that made the director think this was a good idea when filming or editing.
I really want to know the answer to one question  is there anyone in world of cinema who has the balls to tell George that this cut or that edit is frankly crap  a classic is when Padme is lying, apparently dazed and hurt on the sand  along comes a helpful clone trooper and suddenly she jumps up and with an I'm o.k.' shakes of the moans and groans. The audience creased up at that one and so did I.
I really can't blame the actors in this for the fact that Yoda comes across as the most coherent, real character and he's CGI. The only human actor who came near was Temuera Morrison as Jango Fett and that's because to be the Boba Fett's papa, nay even clone is just too cool for school. The only person who can really take the blame is George Lucas.
Is this utter tripe like Phantom Menace? Not by a long shot. But if the next episode, Nemesis I believe is the title, is the same degree better than AOTC as AOTC's is better than PM then we may have a reasonably good film on our hands. Whether I go to see it is another matter as you have to wonder if you want to be a chump 3 times on the trot.
Yes the effects are great - big deal, that's what we expect now. yes Yoda fights - whoopty-freakin-doo. It really has been overhyped. A heartfelt plea George, a guy you may have heard of (and ripped off actually) called JRR Tolkien wrote a story that he hoped was a morality tale disguised as fantasy - luckily this other chap called Peter Jackson came along and made a damn good movie out of just one part. If you really insist on following your vision, let someone else put it on screen for you cos frankly you have stopped doing a good job of it. Yes, we're too jaded and cynical - so you had better change what you deliver instead of expecting the audience to revert back to how they were when Star Wars came out and forget some 25 years of films in between.