Star Bores Episode II-Attack of the Yawns!

Rating: Null/10 (25 March 2003)

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant
Last year did not see many, if not any really good summer blockbuster movies. The usual clutch of commercial popcorn movies were hurled at us from those big wigs at Hollywood and one that stuck in my mind was this effort. Not because it was the best. Oh, no. Because it was undeniably in my opinion the biggest load of garbage since 'The Phantom Menace' three years previously.
Over the years George Lucas has released wave upon wave of movie as a producer that was not as big as the good yet over rated star wars movies(Apart from the Indiana Jones movies). The 1986 effort of Howard: A New breed of Hero was a huge turkey of a movie that flopped big time at the box office. The fantasy adventure movie he produced which Ron Howard directed, called 'Willow' with Val Kilmer was a better effort but also failed to bring in the audiences.
So why people went to see this drivel is any one's guess.Personally I believe they were hoping for an improvement. Don't get me wrong. I was one of them. Having seen both trailers for Episode II for free(I work in a cinema)I was quite hopeful from the look of them. Boy, was I wrong.
This segment in the Star Wars saga concerns the young Anakin Skywalker (Played here by new comer Hayden Christiensen). No longer the little boy we saw in Episode I: The Phantom menace, but a nineteen year old Padawan apprentice to now, Master Jedi Obi-Wan-Kenobi(Ewan MacGregor reprising the roll).
Ten years have passed since the battle of Naboo and the two Jedi are given the task by the Jedi high council of protecting Padme Amidala (Nathalie Portman), once ruler of Naboo she has now become a senator to her home world. Her life is being threatened by a separatist movement lead by the enigmatic Count Dooku,(Christopher Lee) a former Jedi Master who detests the ever growing corruption in the galactic senate and plans to put a stop to it by what ever means he sees fit.
The reason for the threat on Padme's life is the fact that she plans to put a vote in the senate that will enable the senate to build a grand army of the republic to combat against the seperatists. The Jedi's number are not strong enough to cope against the many that are out there. As Jedi Master Mace Windu states, 'We are keepers of the peace. Not soldiers.'
Of course as always things are not quite as they seem and the events of the movie will lead Anakin back to his home planet of Tataooine and the grim realisation of what has become of his mother. Not only that but we witness the first unsubtle steps he will take to joining the Darkside.
Sadly however, the promise that the movie had is compeletly lost in a badly written script with characters who are never well enough drawn out. Anakin who is so woodenly portrayed by Canadian new comer Hayden Christiensen does not come across as a idealistic young apprentice coping with the enormity incredible powers, so much as a spoiled brat who forever has a hissy fit when he doesn't get his own way. You constantly wonder why Obi-Wan as he states in the previous trilogy, loved him so much.
Ewan Macgregor does a slightly better job as Anakin's supposed friend and Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.Now no longer the rebellious apprentice he was in the Phantom Menace he is a wiser more medetive man. However Macgregor can't seem to fully convince as the younger Obi-Wan.He is unable to harness Alec Guinesse's mannerism's voice and the character is so different. Too different from the older man he becomes. Never the less Macgregor does apear to have fun in the roll.
Nathalie Portman like Christiensen is undeniably flat in her portrayal. She lacks the charisma to make Padme the fully memorable character that Princess Leia was in the earlier film's. But then that's probably down more to the writing of the script than her boring performance.
The rest of the supporting cast with the exception of maybe Christopher lee is absoleutly terrible. A normally reliable Samuel L. Jackson tries bravely to cope with the script but sadly fails while Ian Mcdiarmid as the future Emperor, Chancellor Palpatine fall short of expectations.

One of the few wise moves that Lucas makes his decreasing the screen time of one of the most unpopular characters from the first movie. That of Jar-Jar Binks. It's good to see that he at least listened to the fans when it came to this irritating character. Shame he couldn't erase him completly.
In surmising Episode II has very slight redeeming features but none to prevent it from being possibly just as bad as 'The Phantom Menace'. Lucas has tried telling a story in at two hours and twenty minutes is just not quite long enough and feels a bit rushed. If you do really want to see this film rent it out. But don't make the mistake of buying it. Robs Rating: *