Send In The Clones

Rating: 1/10 (16 May 2002)

First, let me say that I am a Star Wars fan. I have been since I stood in line at the theater on that fateful day in 1977, and I've loved everything since, even Phantom Menace (sure, there were bad points, but I was entertained by the film). That having been said... The only real clones are the sorry fans that will go out and see AOTC multiple times to line the pockets of Mr. Lucas. I get the distinct feeling that George resents having to make these films, after all, he's been dealing with the same basic world-scape since 1977, and more is all anyone seems to want from him-- but only more Star Wars. In response, he has delivered unto his fans a lifeless piece of digital film making. The characters are devoid of any depth, and the dialogue is some of the worst I've heard in a long time. I heard open moans of distaste in the theater at the C3-P0-turned-bad-pun-machine on the battle field. I understand the grainy aspects of the special effects are due to the movie being seen on a film projector instead of a digital one, but come on! This is no excuse for the poor overall quality of the project. It brakes the first cardinal sin of movie making: it's booooooorrrrriiing. The film started off well, and my hopes were high. But it peaked after 35 minutes, and then was flat and unimpressive until the final battle, which seemed truncated and unresolved. I know the storyline needs to be unresolved at this point, but there is no payoff within this film. You wait and wait and wait and there's nothing to justify it. Everything you want to see in this film, as far as the progression of the story-- well, it just never happens. And I can't stress enough how terrible the dialogue is. And I'm so sick of how Lucas tries to interject earthlike/human qualities and catch phrase/poses into his new aliens. If you hated the pod race announcers, and Jar Jar's "Exsqueeze Me" lines, you'll be sick after the diner scene in AOTC. (caution, the next sentence may be considered a spoiler) Oh, and why is it called ATTACK of the Clones? How about... Political Maneuvering of the Clones, or Creation of the Clones, or Whatta' Bunch of Clones. I say this because--- THERE IS NO ATTACK!!!!! So, this film is apparently just build up to Episode 3, and was never intended to have a life of it's own. Is that what you're doing here Mr. Lucas? Overall, a disappointing and depressing movie going experience. When Star Wars disappoints, where can you go? Oh, well......