great video game, poor attempt at sci-fi (possible spoilers)

Rating: Null/10 (21 September 2002)

Can you imagine a video game where the main goal of the play is to get the main character to fall in love, get married and have a baby (Episode III Return of the Whiner). Well, the folks at Lucasfilm have made one. Its called "Attack of the Clones". They should have passed out nintendo controllers when you paid for your ticket because this was a 2 hour video game...and what a video game! The graphics were amazing! I thought the music was fairly good. The acting? (well, its a video game, so I really didn't mind that much).
Well, three years have passed since Episode I. After watching Episode II, I looked over my post for Episode I and realized I saw a pattern. The action in this film can make you ignore the seriously horrible acting and well, lack of a really interesting plot. I grimaced when Anakin showed a crush on Amidala in Episode I but I never thought Lucas would subject us to a teenage Anakin having the hots for a girl 8 years older than him, especially when we learn that he hasn't stopped thinking about her since Episode I happened. Metachlorines make you go through puberty early, apparently.

The problem with the new versions isn't the bad acting. There was some cheezy acting going on in the old films. Yeah, the dialogue is worse but the real problem is that the bad guys in this film are not very interesting. When Darth Vader enters a room in any of the old films, you take notice. There's the music, and the heavy breathing, the deep mechanical voice. He is really scary!
All in all, I give this film a 3 out of 5 (rent it on DVD) for copping out with droid vs. clone warfare (who really cares who dies in this fight?) and for a whiny Darth Vader (who never would have said, "I should be all powerful!". Redeeming qualities are good CGI and music.