Back in my day...

Rating: Null/10 (19 May 2002)

I never thought that, at 28 years old, I would actually be starting a conversation with the wrds, 'Back in my day..' but here I am. My wife and I suffered through the excruciatingly boring Episode II yesterday, and I realized that this movie was so slow and ridiculous it made me miss the Ewoks! I know, fellow fans the world over are gasping in shock, but I have been a fan my entire life also. I saw Episodes IV, V, and VI on the big screen (not the 'Special Edition' garbage, but the real movies), so I know what a good Star Wars movie is. Let me tell you, Episode II ain't it. We all know how terrible Episode I was (with a few moments of greatness), but I actually found myself debating which movie was worse--during one of the many endless dialogue scenes. I know, all the die-hards (a group which included myself up until yesterday morning) will say, "He's just setting up the story details for Episode III". Back in my day, he set up the story details during the opening scroll. Anyone remember the set-up for Episode IV? The Princess has stolen the plans for the Death Star and is racing to get them home--then she is captured during the first five minutes--after a thrilling gun battle--and we are completely surrounded by the joy of another galaxy. George Lucas used to be able to tella story that was thrilling and exhilarating while delivering a movie that was also thrilling. There is absolutely no reason I should have to sit through two movies that are complete and utter garbage just so that I will be prepared for the next movie. Please people, avoid this movie, and maybe he will realize the mistakes he is making and give us an Episode III that deserves our time and money, unlike this latest installment.