Attack of the Plot Conveniences

Rating: 1/10 (3 January 2013)

To begin with, These technically aren't reviews. They're my opinions on why I believe the prequel trilogy was garbage, and why they're horribly inferior in comparison to the original trilogy. If you would like a scathing, in-depth review of the prequel films, I suggest you visit www.confusedmatthew.com. There are many reviews of the prequel films on the internet, but his review is in my opinion, is the best.
Anyway, This film takes place ten years after the first film. Anakin Sywalker is now Ewan Mcgregor's apprentice, is ten years older, and for some unknown reason, has turned into a complete ***hole! He has an inflated ego, constantly argues with his master, and seems to care only about himself! Do I really have to go into why this makes no sense?! Oh well, screw it! In the original trilogy, Obi-Wan states that Anakin was a good friend. It's also implied in the original trilogy that Anakin's fall to the dark side was a shock, and a tragedy. I know these films are prequels, and that in the end, you know where these characters are going to wind up, But still, even in a prequel, you shouldn't be able to see it coming in the very beginning. The plot in this film is even worse than in the last film, but the worst part of it is this: Anakin keeps having recurring nightmares about his mother, so he gets on a ship with Padme, (His contrived love interest) goes to Tattooine, and tracks her down to the place where Watto sold her, and then is told that she was kidnapped by sand people. So he finds the camp where his mother is being held, and then she dies in his arms. Overcome with pain, grief, and rage, Anakin savagely kills all the sand people.
What's the worst part of all this, you might ask? Well, the fact that this whole scene could've worked if: 1. Anakin's mother was developed as a character we actually cared about, and not just used as a cheap plot device.
2. This scene would've come as a complete shock to us, and if Anakin was actually a good person, and not a complete ***hole! To make matters worse, Anakin tells Padme of this whole ordeal, and she just stands there, with a bland expression on her face, and then tells him, "To be angry is to be human." What person would do that?!
So in the end, The Jedi play right into a conspiracy regarding the clone army, Anakin and Padme get married, (Even after he told her he murdered all the sand people!) and the film ends.
That was Episode II. Man, these movies sure are looking great so far!
Coming Soon: My Review of Episode III: Revenge of the Sh*t!