Are you people crazy?

Rating: 3/10 (24 May 2002)

At the time of writing this, my first ever IMDB review, 'E2: Attack of the Clones' has a rating of 8.1. This is just plain nuts, and can not stand. One of the best things about IMDB is the rating system. It allows us, the users to get a good idea of what sort of experience we are in for. I fear the ratings are becoming worthless when this film has an 8.1.
This film has no plot, no protagonist, a barely there antagonist, sluggish editing, wooden acting, horrible dialogue, bad characterization, and unfulfilling action sequences. Other then that I guess it's OK.

To call this film a dog is an insult to all canine. It's more aptly described as Herpes. Ugly, no fun, and keeps coming back. Also, dumb people keep exposing themselves to it.
The best part of this film was the trailer for the Matrix: Reloaded that preceded it. Speaking of the Matrix, Hayden Christensen (Anakin Skywalker) makes Keanu Reeves look like the second coming of Robert De Niro. Everything about this kid is bad. There is nothing subtle or complex about his performance. He comes off as nothing more than a whiney, spoiled teenager. He's just a little less irritating then Jar Jar Binks, who's every word makes me long for a Monty Python like Light saber accident that results in the lopping off of Binks' head.
This film seems to have been created for children. Everything is so overt. Remember the mystique of the exotic characters of the first three movies? Where are the exotic languages? Where are the subtitles? No instead we get big fat alien fry cooks with Brooklyn accents, and little hairy ones with buzzing flies and Italian accented English. What a joke.
The special effects were stunning, but that does not make a movie. In fact it seems apparent in this case it may actually kill it. Give me the early '80s technology of the first three movies with a decent plot and good acting any day.
Please understand. I was a big fan. I stood in line for hours with my dad when I was 10 years old to see the first one. I stood in line for hours to see the re-release of the first three with my wife in '96-'97. I had the action figures. I had the plastic Light saber. I even put up with my little brother's watching those damn Ewok shows. But the line is drawn here!