George, swallow your pride and get someone with talent already!

Rating: Null/10 (20 May 2002)

These movies (this statement can only be said with eyes closed, hand on my shaking forehead). I cannot express how much I would respect George Lucas if he were to just stand up out of the directors seat, hand the pen and paper to someone a little more capable, and say, `Here you go, please, make me proud.' It almost makes me wish someone would slap him on the back of the head and tell him to ask for directions already, cause Georgy boy is as lost as you can get. These movies have such potential, they have so much to offer us. Can't we just get the movie so promised to us? It's almost as if Mr. Lucas is thinking, well, there is no way that this movie will not make a zillion dollars so I can go ahead and write what I want and that way I get to do it all myself.
Episode II-Attack of the Clones' takes place 10 years after the last POS we all waited on line to see 3 years ago, The Phantom Menace'. Queen Padme' Amidala (Natalie Portman) is now a senator (and still single??), Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen, Life as a House') is now a grown up (in appearance only mind you, I don't know who whines more, him or my 3 ½ year old!) hotty with an ego only Padme' can love. The movie starts off with Senator Amidala's life being threatened. That is how Obi-Wan (Ewan McGregor) and his young apprentice Skywalker make their way back into Padme's life and heart. Also going on, the Republic is slowly falling apart and its up to the Jedi to help stop it. Only thing is the Jedi cannot do much to help because there aren't enough of them. Keep in mind that these are only a few of the things going on in this mess of a movie. It was mind boggling. I consider myself an intelligent person and I don't think following movies is a difficult task, but with all the different references to people we haven't met responsible for this or that catastrophe, its hard to keep up with who is good and who is bad. And the CG in this movie is very good, yes, but also too much. I don't want only eye candy George, I want a good-guy bad-guy story that will keep me interested. Don't we all? Aren't you all sick of saying, `well, it was better then Phantom'. It's supposed to be a great movie, not an acceptable movie.
These actors have so much potential. Natalie Portman is a good actress, all she needs is a little direction. You know, that thing the Director is supposed to do. And Hayden Christensen does an okay job, if he's supposed to be so whiney and overstuffed. Poor Ewan McGregor tries so hard to give his character life, but how can he with such HORRIBLE dialog. For instance, in one scene C3PO is having his head dragged along by R2D2 and Lucas actually has him say `This is such a drag'. COME ON! Are we all 12? Is this supposed to entertain us? George, move aside and let someone else make a good movie. You can still put your fancy schmancy logo in front of it, but why don't you give something for the intelligent folks to enjoy too, other then stealing our money for yet a 3rd time. The only thing 'Phantom Menace' and 'Attack of the Clones' seems to be good at is giving 'A New Hope' that the next one will be better. But I'm alreay starting to lose that.