So Many Expectations and Yet None of Them Were Met

Rating: 2/10 (29 September 2002)

Before I start, let me say that I am a die-hard Star Wars fan. I know endless amounts of useless trivia and have seen the original trilogy tons of times. I grew up worshiping the original trilogy and everything else Star Wars. That said, here is why I think Episode II is quite possibly the worst movie in existence.
George Lucas had a great vision of what the new trilogy would be like. He wanted to have the best special effects of any movie to date and still have a story worthy of the original movies. In fact, he decided to devote so much time to the special effects that he completely neglected the other aspects of the film. Everyone knew vaguely what the story would be; all George had to do was get a script written up and then add some cool special effects. But leave it to the man who made Greedo shoot first to botch it all up.
George got so wrapped up in the special effects that he allowed the effects to subtract from the rest of the movie. Outside of Coruscant, there was no need to digitally produce an entire planet. What happened to shooting on location (i.e. Tattooine was shot in the African desert)? Why does everything have to be computer-generated? He even abandoned using real actors to play aliens. I saw no need for the Kiminoans or Dex Jettster at all. They could have been played better and probably more believably by actors in costumes. In fact, the entire world of Kimino looked fake and unbelievable. When I first saw it, it reminded me exactly of Bespin if Bespin had been lowered into the sea.
The dialogue in the movie is just as terrible. The scenes involving Anakin and Padme seemed forced and awkward. Hayden Christensen put too much emotion into his character and, as a result, seems overly dramatic, almost ridiculously so. During repeated viewings of the film, I found myself laughing out loud at his lines. I don't know how much of this was due to Hayden's acting, but George could definitely have given the script more than a cursory glance before allowing his actors to deliver this tripe to the audience.
I'm not just opposed to Anakin; all the characters appear just as terrible as he does. Natalie Portman's Padme, Samuel L. Jackson's Mace Windu, the kid who played Boba's Boba; all seem overdone. In fact the only worthwhile performances in the film were Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan and Ian McDiarmid's Palpatine. It takes a great actor to take a terrible script and still deliver a believable and praise-worthy performance.
I am a die-hard Star Wars fan, which is why I saw Episode II five times in the theater despite all these objections. It still has a great story and the music only adds to the experience. But I think that George needs to return to the days of the co-writer (as with the original trilogy); at least then there will be a second opinion on the script, without subtracting from the story. In closing, here's my prediction for Episode III: a stunning musical score, the proper build-up into the original trilogy, a rehash of the special effects from Episodes I and II, and the same rigid, overly dramatic performances that have characterized the two Star Wars prequels to date.