You're Kidding, Right?!?

Rating: 3/10 (18 June 2002)

In a word, crap. This installment of the Star Wars saga was satisfying only in the fact that it couldn't have been any worse than Episode I. With that said, it was still terrible. The dialogue was seemingly unnatural, and every scene felt like a Herculean trial. "Soft like you..." I can't imagine that any budding young jedi feeling The Force coursing through his veins could resist Natalie Portman. However, did we all forget the ludicrous age discrepancy that existed between our young love birds. As Anakin has obviously aged his appropriate ten years, our dear Amidala seems to be right where we left her. This has one positive attached to it, and that is the realization that if Portman's character had actually appeared to age ten years, then the filmmakers would not have been able to pull off the sexy action vixen role that she fell into once the fighting began. How amazing is it that she goes from Senator Amidala wear to Pop Star bimbo? I can appreciate it for what it is, but certainly a distraction. Was it an attempt to give a basis for the hutzpah of Princess Leia? I hope so, although it was poorly done. I greatly enjoyed watching Yoda kick butt. It certainly was an unnecessary scene in the movie, but by far the most entertaining. My date was not excited about having to believe that an old thing with a cane could suddenly start doing flips and stuff. They should double-check stuff like that.
All in all, I paid my 7.50 to be able to say I saw it in the theatre. It wasn't really worth it, and my expectionas for Episode IV couldn't possibly be any lower.