Begun, the ripoff has...

Rating: 1/10 (12 March 2009)

I should've known better than to trust George Lucas. But after his surprising success in The Phantom Menace, I was looking forward to Attack of the Clones. What I got was sorely disappointing.
Lucas should've known better than making this film! The references to The Empire Strikes Back are so blatantly obvious in fact, it's quite obvious Lucas tries to plunge into the depths of despair Empire did, and be that amazing. Problem is, it doesn't work, thanks to a really bad, weak story, combined with many other factors.
If you ever doubt that visual effects alone cannot make a good movie, look no further than this! Attack of the Clones has some of the most astounding visual effects to date! Of course, this doesn't change the fact that this movie was poorly written and poorly directed. Why poorly directed? For instance: since the puppet-Yoda days are over, Lucas decides to show off this new advance in technology by showing too many unnecessary close-ups of Yoda's face. This is a really bad choice: the magic of this new advance is quickly smothered.
Then, of course, we get to the acting. The only bright spots were Ewan McGregor and Frank Oz (Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda, respectively). Hayden Christensen played Anakin as some spoiled brat, constantly complaining about everything. (The political views he expresses, by the way, alarmed me. I expected him to pull out the old swastika and start a lecture about extermination at any moment.) Most of the performances were terribly flat. How can you be in the midst of spectacular events, yet talk as if you would on a cell phone outside Starbucks? The biggest letdown was, sadly, Natalie Portman. She was fantastic in The Phantom Menace, but thanks to Lucas' terrible script, couldn't do much here. This might explain why her performance was really half-hearted. Although appealing to the eyes, she displays little of the rich acting talent she has.
We get down to the annoying characters at last. First, Jar Jar Binks. Lucas diminished his role immensely here, after all the complaints in The Phantom Menace. But his role is so minor, he shouldn't have been included at all! His brief appearances grated on my nerves, as his Caribbean-stereotype behaviour and high-pitched voice tried my patience. At least there was plenty of time to get used to him in TPMhis appearances are too spaced out here. Next, one of the biggest rip-offs of all-time: R4 (when Obi-Wan goes to visit the "non-existing" planet). Hm I wonder where they came up with that? R2-D2 and C3PO are back to their annoying ways, especially C3PO, whose misadventures were so idiotic, I wanted to bash him on the head.
So, in conclusion, this film does only one thing: prove that advanced special effects will do nothing to save a movie that's already as bad as this. And that's pretty much what Lucas seems to have depended on.