Biggest budget B-movie of all time

Rating: 4/10 (12 August 2004)

I just watched this again the other night. One cannot help but laugh at the incredibly childish, inane writing. One of my favorite moments comes when Obi Wan is trying to find a planet. He knows exactly where it is, but it isn't on the charts. So he goes to Yoda, who coincidentally is teaching a bunch of toddlers wearing Halloween masks how to play with light sabers. Yoda asks the toddlers for their opinion, and in a scene straight out of Teletubbies, they announce that the planet is being "hidden". I mean, it's like going to a mechanic and asking him what's wrong with your car, and he announces prophetically, "It's broke". "Could you be a tad more specific?" You ask. "Meditate upon the matter I will." He responds.

And it goes on and on. One scene so unintentionally hilarious that I nearly fell out of my chair comes when Jar Jar Binks is addressing the senate. Surrounded on all sides by the rulers of all the planets in the galaxy, this guy is talking baby talk!
And then there's young Anikin Skywalker. He does nothing but whine throughout the movie. "Oh, my life sucks, the whole universe sucks! I think I'll go and eat worms. Boo hoo hoo." It gets funnier the more he does it, and he does it throughout the movie. At the same time you've got Natalie Portman, angelic teen, running around in a top that leaves little to the imagination. I mean, who comes up with this stuff? Lucas should be making slasher films on a ten thousand dollar budget. He'd fit right in.
HOWEVER, then there's the special effects. Some of this stuff is really quite spectacular. My favorite is the planet where they're making the clones. A water planet, apparently under a perpetual thunderstorm, it's extremely moody and well done. Inside the buildings, it's bright and gleaming. Nice contrast. The scene where Obi Wan is chasing Jengo Fett through the asteroid field, and the seismic charges are going off, is wonderful as well. However, I have to mention that all the storm troopers are obviously CGI, and they don't move like humans at all, but rather like claymation props. And the last scene, where the storm troopers are boarding their ships, is of the same quality as a cut scene in a video game - which is to say very low.
Overall, if you're a B-movie fan who loves to laugh at pathetic writing, acting and directing, you'll get a huge kick out of this. Joel and the bots on Mystery Science Theater 3000 would have a field day with it.

And, lest I forget, Ewan McGregor and Christopher Lee turn in good performances. It almost makes it seem like a real movie in parts.