Attack of the Mid-afternoon nap

Rating: Null/10 (21 May 2002)

It was there, in that plush representation of a vintage chair that I glided into a mid-afternoon slumber, as images of two dorks floundering in a flowery meadow and riding a elephant-beetle-beast-thing flashed infront of my closed eyelids. I thought Episode II was a complete disaster, even worse than the first one. Lucas blew several opportunities to display graphic violence for scenes of lush meadows and stormy seas. What this movie needed was an edge, and only the type of edge that the monumental and legendary actor Billy Drago can deliver. At least he could have saved the film. This movie isn't dark because it is negative and warlike, it is dark because everyone falls asleep while watching it. Episode III better well be violent as hell (because of this supposed war that is supposed to be happening) or else I will be forced to finally conclude that Lucas is catering to all the little Kiddies out there in theater land. Why can't he make movies like Episode IV, where Spock dies and Robert or whatever his name is has to go and save him from the hideous, flame-throwing monster?