Star Wars - Destroyed

Rating: Null/10 (17 May 2002)

Being an avid Star Wars fan (I actually liked Episode I) I can only describe this movie as the worst Star Wars ever. From the really confusing story line, never quite knowing which political faction is who, over the worst dialogs imaginable, to Britney Spears (oops - Padme Amidala) - this movie disappoints at all levels.
The Jedi and in particular Yoda are reduced to mere space cowboys, the pseudo-religious mysticism no longer existent. While episodes 4-6 had a profound Universe to it, Episode I was visually well done, funny and marked by a convincing Anakin, this is the destruction of the Star Wars Universe. Nothing fits.
George Lucas delivers the epitome of every Star Wars video game I have ever played, action scene after action scene, without meaning and a repeat of anything someone thought might have worked in the other episodes. Down to the severing of Anakin's arm, telekinetic light-sabre maneuvres, dazzling asteroid dodging and industrial iron stompers.
Queen Amidala, the young but wise character from Episode one, turns into every boy's dream at the height of his puberty, showing off more hip costumes, belly button and hair-dos (this time not alien but goldi-locks) than one can fit in a dozen suitcases - And that while she is traveling. Gone are her days of the peace-loving sage. Now she is a teenager that really digs some 'forceful negotiations' as the fight scenes are euphemistically titled. This hormone-crazed teenager a senator?
Her stand-in Jar-Jar Binks while traveling declaring Darth Vader de-facto emperor? Who came up with this nonsense plot?
The platitude of conversations between Anakin and her are just too horrible to even mention. A sheer neverending sequence of cliches, that's what the movie is altogether.
Who is this actor playing Anakin? Where did Lucas dig him up? He definitely delivers the worst acting I have seen in a long time. Maybe he really didn't have anything to work with in the first place.
Special effects is what this movie is all about. More hair-raising action than you can shake a stick at. Thrown together from 'Lord of the rings' and 'The mummy'.
George - get a clue. Simply because you CAN show it on the screen it doesn't mean you HAVE to. Digital effects are all nice and good and the makeover of the original episodes actually worked - This one is one big video game.
But the worst is that the Star Wars universe has been destroyed -ironically while trying to establish it, characters altered beyond recognition and factions established in the most obscure and illogical manner.
If you love Star Wars (like me) do not watch this movie. I may never look at Star Wars the same way again.