The best part was the THX logo

Rating: 1/10 (10 October 2011)

"The Final Sacrifice" has been called the movie that is 100% deus ex machina. Well, here's the TRILOGY that is 100% deus ex machina. Words cannot describe how terribly bad this movie is, but an easy summary, is that every single thing in the movie, is the exact opposite of what would make sense. It is also another perfect example of what happens when movie-related merchandise becomes the goal of movie-making, instead of a bi-product.
First of all, Anakin is all grown up, Amidala is a senator, Palpatine is chancellor, we're told that Anakin is Obi-Wan's apprentice and C-3PO and R2-D2 are around, so the first movie didn't need to be made at all. This is practically an all together new story, and everything worth mentioning from episode one could be squeezed into the first five minutes of it.
Second of all well, everything. Amidala knows that someone's trying to kill her, but does nothing to hide. She constantly resides near the biggest windows she can find. A shape-shifter assassin shows up, but tries to kill Amidala using bugs. The Jedi meant to protect Amidala both chase after the assassin, but instead of just shifting shape and going back to finish the job, she tries to kill the Jedi instead.
To protect her, they send Amidala back home, with Anakin, who's obviously in love with her, but is forbidden to love anyone. (Does anyone know why that is? When Yoda said that the Force was "strong in your family. Pass on what you have learned" to Luke, I got the impression that the ability to use the Force was somewhat hereditary. But since the Jedi can't have families, according to the new trilogy, this ability is completely random. It doesn't at all explain why it would be strong in an entire family, or why Anakin's or Luke's children would automatically get it.) She takes him to the most romantic place imaginable and walks around in practically no clothes at all, while telling him how impossible his love is. Now, I may have used my looks to get some free drinks, but hell, I've never been THAT cruel. But she falls for him anyway, because he talks about sand. And kills an entire village. And whines about Obi-Wan pretty much non-stop. And he acts like a 10-year-old. And he constantly stares at her creepily as hell. Know what, Mr. Lucas? This is the kind of guy women usually get restraining orders against. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan goes to a town that looks almost exactly like Cloud City. Were they built by the same contractor?
They end up on some bug-planet, where they fight bugs, useless robots and Count Dooku. This is probably meant to be a big, spectacular Colosseum-like arena scene, but it's so cluttered you can't even see what goes on in it. There are so many light-sabers in it, though, that had it been darker, I'd have guessed rave party.
The idiotic things relieve each other in this movie, and so do the game-hype sequences. There are high-speed chases that are ironically at least 20 minutes too long, then some crap in a factory that reminds me of 80's platform games, and there are light-sabers EVERYwhere, all the time. I'm willing to bet they use them as reading lamps too. I won't count, but the light-saber shots probably make up more than half of the movie. Apparently, people can hardly even get dressed without using a light-saber. In the original trilogy, this was the coolest weapon ever. In this movie, it's so over-used it's about as exciting as a flash-light.
The fact that this is what's spat out of the computer when George Lucas can bring to the screen everything he can imagine, makes me start wondering exactly how awful a film-maker he really is. After all, it's now more than clear that everything amazing about the original trilogy must have been thanks to other people. In fact, the only other name that comes to mind when watching crap of this magnitude is Uwe Boll. I could have said Ed Wood, but I won't, because while Ed Wood was god awful at nearly everything cinematic, at least he had heart and cared about his stories.