Painfully humorous

Rating: Null/10 (30 May 2002)

It is movies like this that actually make me angry when I leave the theater.
First and foremost, consider the fact that the script for this film is essentially a 25 year work in progress. I can appreciate the attractiveness of the underlying story, but give me a break. A sixth grader with a free weekend could have hammered out the dialog that was present in this film. So many lost opportunities to further develop the story.
I am also sick and tired of hearing about the amazing effects. CGI, while remarkable when used properly, has become a substitute for true artistic inspiration. There is simply nothing new about all of Lucas' pastel toned, airbrushed backgrounds. They look pretty, they look like nothing more than a background, and they look fake. Until CGI is used in a fashion where it actually ADDS to a film, I am no longer impressed.
Finally, the acting in the film was truly painful to watch. Hayden Christensen displayed the range of a one legged buffalo caught in a snowstorm. His hackneyed expressions and dead delivery of lines conveyed nothing more than teenage angst; his supposed descent into the dark side was completely lost. The same is true for Natalie Portman, whom I believe is an otherwise fine actress.
In several instances, the most notable being the scene in which Christensen and Portman stood in front of the fireplace and proclaimed that they would be "living a lie," the audience actually erupted into snickering and laughter. Were it not for this endlessly amusing incident, I may have gone home without a scintilla of entertainment from my evening. I also gleaned an enormous amount of amusement from the supposed death of Anakin's mother. Priceless.
Yoda with a light sabre is cool. 20 seconds of entertainment.