Put Me To Sleep In Ten Minutes

Rating: Null/10 (1 June 2002)

Ohmygod...! Okay, let me start off by saying that I am not a Star Wars freak. I saw the original trilogy and I enjoyed them very much. They were okay. Then Gerogie Lucas just had to make the prequels, starting with that hideous Phantom Menance. I saw the film once and never saw it again. But let's not talk about that movie, let's talk about the Attack of the Clones. Alright, I had no f***ing clue what was going on. Something about the Trade Federation, Clones.....eh? After five minutes, I had blocked the plot from my mind because I couldn't understand it for the life of me. I thought the special effects would be great. PLEASE! I would rather have the tennis shoe as a spaceeship anyday over all the massive heaps of computer bullsh*t Lucas threw at me. Every frame looked fake. That in turm made me think of the movie as a joke. Lucas was too over zealous on special effects...they looked God awful. Well there always was the love story. What love story? Natalie Portman is hideous in the movie. She wears freaky-ass cloths that happen to get ripped off in key moments. And Hayden Christensen. He's freaking hot at all, but I had to laugh whenever he had his stupid ass little nervous break down thing. There was no love story. The lines were stupid and the actors couldn't pull it off. Maybe we should blame it on Lucas for writing such a sh****y love story. After all, he is no romance writer. Then again, he can't write a decent movie script, either! I thought that Clones sucked big time. It put me to sleep in, okay, 20 minutes. But with all that stupid THX it woke me up and I had to suffer through the whole movie. George Lucas, I want a damn refund!!!!!