A Slightly Flawed Thrill Ride

Rating: Null/10 (31 May 2002)

In nearly all the reviews of "Clones" seen thus far---from reviewers both professional and amateur, and reviews both scathing and exalting---people seem to take great delight in excoriating its predecessor, "The Phantom Menace". The opportunity to verbally eviscerate Jar Jar Binks is reveled in by most. One could very easily forget that the latter film set and held box-office records which were only broken recently. (Am I to believe that NONE of these 'Phantom'-bashers were among the millions of repeat viewers or DVD consumers? Allow me to scoff, please.)
I point this out simply because, having seen "Episode II" twice now, I'm left with a polar opposite view from current favor: "Episode I" had at least as much fun and personality as "II", if not MORE...largely thanks to the oft-reviled Jar Jar. Yes, that's right, Jar Jar helped "Phantom" work rather nicely. What's that? You were annoyed by his voice and mannerisms? Fair enough, but I'll take a goofy digital Gungan any day of the week over the comatose deliveries of Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman in "II". Granted, these young actors are saddled with both inanely clunky dialogue and George Lucas' seeming inability to coax performances from his actors. This would be a far less unsightly blemish if the Anakin/Padme romance were not the core of the story. Alas, it is, and we're thus subjected to far too many of their after-school-special scenes.
Lucas struck gold in 1980 by relinquishing the pen to Lawrence Kasdan and the lens to Irvin Kirshner for "The Empire Strikes Back". "Clones" and "Phantom" (to a lesser degree) are flawed by the use of a less-talented wordsmith and Lucas' directorial rustiness. The overall storyline of "Clones" is grand and well-conceived, but it mires down in wooden dialogue and uninspired performances. In "Phantom", Portman is the only one seen to be phoning it in. (At least Jake Lloyd and Ahmed Best---the two most-maligned victims of reviewer wrath for that film---are clearly giving their all.)
There's far more to be said about "Clones", both good and bad, and much of it has been said here at IMDB already. Here's hoping that Lucas will alter his approach to "Episode III" by allowing actors to act (even the scenery-chewing of the first "Star Wars" would be more welcome than the blank stares of late), and by enlisting a proven script doctor for the final draft. Surely he's got Carrie Fisher's phone number...