Laughable, but at least it had a plot

Rating: 5/10 (26 May 2002)

*** If there is such a thing as a spoiler for a Star Wars movie, there are some here. Have no fear, though, it is nothing revealing ***
I can say without a doubt that Episode II is better than Episode I. For one, Jar Jar had very minimal time on-screen. Also, this film actually has a very complex and intricate plot. Unfortunately, Lucas's creativity is much stronger than his screenwriting skills, and the complexity of the plot is overshadowed by the incredibly trite love story and downright awful acting. Moreover, this movie has the worst dialogue I have ever seen in a film (that's saying a lot), with the exception of B movies like Death Race 2000 and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (even Beyond the Valley of the Dolls had more interesting dialogue). There is a couple minutes of banter between Padme and Annakin that sounds genuinely as though it could be set to some cheesy pop music and sung by N'SYNC. The acting by Hayden Christenson is abyssmal -- he turns a character who is as complex as they come and reduces him to a whiny, spoiled brat. Granted, a lot of this is Lucas's fault -- aside from the horrible dialogue, Lucas chooses to have those horrible pauses (a la soap operas), where the focus is on the character for just a bit too long, just long enough for them to contort their face into some exaggerated look. Well, Christenson repeats the same stare in these exaggerated pauses a number of times throughout the film, and it becomes quite tiresome, as it is the only time where the viewer might actually think he's trying to act. Unfortunately, Natalie Portman's Padme does not fair much better, though there are more than a few moments where her acting is believable. Between the cheesy love story (there is nothing unique about it, aside from its location) and bad dialogue, the first 1:30hr of the movie is nothing but laughable. Some of this is intentional (Lucas tries to throw in some clever and humorous foreshadowing, like Obi-Wan saying to Annakin "You'll be the death of me someday"), but most of it is a result of shoddy acting/writing. Even the more serious twists in the film (the death of Annakin's mother, not like you didn't see it coming) are comical just by how over-dramatically they are executed. However, the last 45 minutes has some of the most fun battle sequences I've watched.
It isn't very intense, but the last sequence of the movie is entertaining on an entirely different level. Throughout the film, there are only a few minor moments where the special effects do not seem a part of the picture -- one is the movements of Yoda while on Coruscant, and the other is the ocean on the alien planet (where they make the clones). These special effects become the foreground in the last segments of the movie, with some pretty amazing creature animation. However, Yoda's fight scene at the end returns to the theme of the first 2/3 of the film -- absurdity. It has the feeling of the fight scene in the Matrix between Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishburne. One almost expects Yoda to wave Count Dooku to him; instead, though, we are treated to a fast-forward fight by the most beloved Star Wars character. There is no doubt in my mind, however, that it was thrown into the film because Lucas wanted to have some fun with it. In fact, I wonder if that is really how best to explain this movie.
There is very little real acting (actually, Ewan McGregor gives a pretty fantastic performance, though Samuel L Jackson still seems out of place and Jimmy Smits is horrible as usual), even less good dialogue, but the special effects are incredible, and overall it is an enjoyable and entertaining film. However, much of my enjoyment came because I was laughing through much of the parts in the movie where Lucas was trying to be serious. Be warned...this is a film for people interested in being entertained and humored, not those looking for depth or good acting. Go to the theatre to watch a Star Wars film and you will get your money's worth. 5 out of 10