Unbelievably bad in 2002.... more or less the same 17 years later.

Rating: Null/10 (11 November 2019)

Sequelitis has a number of different definitions, one of them includes thinking a movie is great, then the realization setting in later that what you saw... was actually pretty damn bad. You know, a lot of people really want to re-assess the prequels as being not nearly as bad as people once thought. No... I'm sorry prequel fans, Episodes 1, 2 and 3 are still bad, they will always be bad and no amount of special editions will ever change that!!
I think the biggest problem of all is the little turd that is Anakin Skywalker. I mean forget that he looks more like the pretty boy in a guess jeans ad, not only does he look completely wrong for the part and Haydn Christensen was an awful choice.... George Lucas just in my opinion had no idea how to make the fall of Anakin Skywalker work on a level that would appeal to the average viewer.
That's the biggest problem, it's not just one or two awful lines of dialogue, it's the whole damn love story between Anakin and Padme... nothing that happens in this trilogy, let alone this movie gives their love story any sort of viability. Anakin comes off as a leering who flips his crap and murders a whole tribe of sand people("The women and the children"). After confessing his mass murder to Padme, her response is a face palm-worthy "To be angry is to be human". Gotta tell you George, writing a line like that in response to what Anakin did tells me you have no damn idea what the hell you were doing!!!
Yet... after everything Anakin does, staring creepily at Padme, dissing her constantly, saying to her the kinds of things you might hear from a stalker, then hearing that he just murdered a bunch of sand people... Padme all of a sudden about 3/4 of the way through the movie decides she's fallen madly in love with him... WHY?!
This is a BIG problem because it completely undermines our characters. The ONLY way I can believe a strong woman like Padme(who obviously makes terrible life choices) would fall for Anakin is if he mind tricked her into falling in love with him. Honestly, he is such a horrible person I would not put it past him.
Also... up until the time Anakin becomes Darth Vader, Obi-Wan constantly told us in the original trilogy that Anakin was a Good friend, a good man. Okay Obi-Wan, where in the hell in this entire trilogy is that good man you spoke of??? Because from the moment we see 20 something Anakin in Attack of the clones, he's basically an intergalactic jackass. He has no charisma, he is only appealing in a superficial manner. Take somebody like Ash from Evil Dead and Army of Darkness. He's charming and funny. Anakin... is neither of those things. He's not a compelling character! He's an annoying whiny brat!
Was Luke whiny? Yes, Luke was whiny, but Luke was strong, brave, bad-ass, someone we ALL want to identify with. If you want to identify with Anakin... I don't want to know you!!!
This is all very important because Anakin and Padme are the main characters in this story, if their characters and their romance is weak, then the overall story suffers. The B-plot is Obi-Wan investigating an army of clones being manufactured on the planet of Kamino.
It's... visually stunning, but very little else! Boba Fett's daddy was brought into the picture for no other reason then he looks like Boba Fett. Also... who the hell thought we wanted to see Boba Fett as a little kid? George... for the last time, for the very very last time, we don't want to see our favorite villains as kids!!!!
So anyway Padme, Anakin and Obi-Wan all meet up in an arena and even though there are dozens of Jedi swinging around their light sabers at stupid CGI airborne critters I feel... absolutely nothing, maybe a little dizzy, but that's all. Nothing set up in this movie or The Phantom Menace gives anything here any kind of emotional weight. It's just kind of... there, and I guess we're supposed to think this is great because George was concerned so much with maxing out the processing power behind this movie's CGI.
You prequel fans really have some nerve. You think The Force Awakens is bad? Rogue One? Last Jedi? Solo? I'm sorry.. there is nothing in any of the new Disney films that is remotely as bad or worse than the colossal amount of garbage and crap infused into the likes of Attack of the Clones!!! I should know! I grew up not just with the original trilogy, but with the prequels too! You know, I WANTED to love the prequels, but the rational side of me just couldn't find any redeeming qualities in episodes 1-3. Unfortunately, no matter what argument you make, the bad far outweighs the good in all three of these colossally disappointing installments.
I strongly suggest sticking with the original trilogy and the four new(soon to be five) Star Wars films.