Hopefully Lucas won't clone this one for Ep. III

Rating: 3/10 (17 December 2002)

My opinions on this one have evolved after seeing it once in the theatre and then again on video. I admit that the final hour was a guilty pleasure which distracted me from how painful the first hour was. Also, I came in with no expectations, because of how horrid Ep. I was. Then I watched Clones on video, and it hit me how truly awful this was. Now I didn't have the eye candy on the scale that the theatre provides...it was just me, my wife, and a lame story filled with very lame acting playing out on a 27" screen. And it didn't work at all. I even think it might be as bad or worse than Ep. I, which I didn't think was possible. There is no lead-in for me to eagerly anticipate Episode III - only the morbid curiosity of gawking at a train wreck. The story did nothing to endear me to the characters or care about their plights. Wooden, terrible acting by Portman and her beau. These films (I & II) desperately needed some comic relief ala Hans Solo to take the attention away from the stiff, lovey-dovey crap, but there was none to be had, so I had to sit through a lot of awkward, even mind-numbingly bad moments while the two young lovers worked through their feelings. Blech!