Much Like Jingling Keys In Front Of An Infant

Rating: 1/10 (31 May 2002)

Excellent special effects! AOTC was certainly a site to behold with its sweeping landscapes, zooming vehicles and diverse alien races. It's truly a spectacle! With that being said, what happens when we look beyond the veneer of pretty pictures and bright shiny objects? To be blunt, not much!
As much as I loved the special effects, they were obviously there to hide the fact that there's nothing more to the film. It's like distracting an infant by jingling keys in front of them. The AOTC plot showed great promise, but it fell victim to a hackneyed script which didn't know where it was going or what it was doing when it finally got there. Most of this happens during the "build up" of Amidala's and Anakin's "love affair" in which there is no build up or real love affair involved. Jingle! Jingle! Look at the ocean swept world of Kamino! Doesn't it look awesome?! Slow pacing is also another of this film's greatest flaws. When a film is 2 hours and 20 minutes plus, pacing should be a real concern. Jingle! Jangle! Look at this! Isn't the "car" chase on Coruscant zippy?! Wow! Though a sophomoric script is mostly to blame, the acting came across as wooden and would have been better played by marionettes. It was imperative that Anakin "tell" us on a regular basis how bad he felt and how mad he was when actions would have been much better at driving the point home. The scene at the Tusken Raider camp would have been perfect for that, but it was cut far too short which leads me to believe that the Star Wars franchise has fallen out of the realm of General Audiences and is now the sole providence of children. Jingle! Jangle! Jingle! But check out the monsters in the arena! Don't they look scary?! Look at how the tiger-thingy rips Amidala's shirt just perfectly so we can see her bare tum-tum! Ooo-aaah!
If you love special effects, I suggest you catch a matinee of this movie. Much like Centropolis' "Godzilla", it's a wonder to behold. Also, much like Centropolis' "Godzilla", if you listen to your favorite tunes on your walkman while viewing AOTC, you won't miss a thing.