Nute Gunray?

Rating: 3/10 (17 January 2003)

What genius! Not only does Lucas abandon the timelessness of the first trilogy to date his flick with "clever" left-wing topical "humor," but he picks subjects which hadn't been topical for at least *four years* when this movie came out! I mean, it's a rare accomplishment, making a movie that's dated before it's ever released.
What's he going to do for *Star Wars III: Bleeding the Nerds Dry*? Goldwater jokes?
There much more to criticize, of course, from Lucas's love affair with his mostly-uninteresting computer fakery, to the going-through-the-motions acting, to Lucas's insistence on filling his film with recognizably 20th-century-American people and places (another way in which Lucas has given up on trying to recapture the timeless quality of the original).
Look, George, this is all supposed to be taking place in another galaxy, not in Pittsburgh. You can have a greasy spoon, but it should be an *alien* greasy spoon, the way you had an *alien* waterfront dive in the real *Star Wars*. You can have a sports announcer, but he should be an *alien* sports announcer, not just a two-headed Vin %&$*ing Scully. Savvy?
Oh, well, it's all just a sucker-born-every-minute marketing gimmick anyway.
At least this one had Christopher Lee, less Jar Jar, and no irritating child, which I suppose rates an extra point (so, 3 out of 10).
Fifty years from now, people will still be watching the original *Star Wars* and its sequels. But somehow I don't think they'll be calling them "Episodes 4, 5, and 6."