it's a clone, clone, clone, clone world

Rating: 4/10 (16 May 2002)

First and foremost, this is a stupid title. I don't understand why Lucas keeps billing the prequels by their episode number first; honestly, is anyone going to wonder if ATTACK OF THE CLONES has any connection to STAR WARS? These movies are beyond huge. They're not going to be lost in the shuffle. The man should have just had the prequels titled like the originals (i.e. STAR WARS: ATTACK OF THE CLONES instead of mentioning the episode number). You know what would have been a better title for this movie? THE CLONE WARS. Even IT'S A CLONE, CLONE, CLONE, CLONE WORLD would have been better. Of course, all of these titles have one problem. They imply that the movie will be about the Clone Wars. Clearly, after seeing the movie, that is not the case.
This movie, while not great, is a huge step forward from the train wreck that was EPISODE ONE. Jar Jar isn't in the movie much and talks even less. Ewan MacGregor actually got to act in this movie, Christopher Lee was creepy, as always, and Samuel L. Jackson was cool, as always. The battle scenes were pretty good, but not nearly numerous enough. The first ever full-out Jedi brawl was pretty cool, but the fact that it isn't the focus of the film was annoying. Why wouldn't the biggest fight in the movie be shown close up? Sometimes, Lucas frustrates me. Yes, the technology used in this movie is awesome. Yes, the planets and droids and aliens looked pretty cool. However, let's be honest, most of the digital technology is not necessary. Does anyone really prefer seeing blatantly computer generated characters instead of good puppets? Of course not, I'm being silly; everyone loves Jar Jar.
On the other hand, Hayden Christensen was terribly in this movie. He clearly was directed to pretend that his emotions had an on/off switch. Lines like "I love Ob-Won...but I HATE HIM!!!" are about par for the course. Any emotion softer than all-out rage was portrayed poorly by Mr. Christensen. Maybe he should have been computer generated. The other actors could have used a wooden board with an angry face on it to act against. Of course, not all of this is Hayden's fault. The direction with him had to be poor for this to be the end product. The writing for him was wretched, too. His anger, his petty jealousy, and his love all came across bluntly, and I don't know if any actor could have conveyed those lines well.
Other problems with the movie are more general. Using the droids as comic relief didn't work well. If droids are the colorful characters in a movie full of aliens, there is a problem. Really, the droids' presence were unnecessary in this movie, but I guess Lucas really likes bringing in known characters and using them poorly. Speaking of which, the whole Boba Fett tie-in was annoying and lame; why not create new characters for that role? The love scene between Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman was pretty bad; am I the only person who heard the title song for THE SOUND OF MUSIC in that scene? Of course, the plot to this movie was the wrong one. Logically, EPISODE III has to have all the Jedi die, since they are extinct in the original STAR WARS. I would like to see a whole movie about Jedis being hunted and killed. That would be cool and totally make up for EPISODE I. However, for that to happen, Anakin had to turn evil at the end of this movie. But he didn't. Instead, the Clone Wars BEGAN. So, now the Clone Wars have to take place between EPISODE II and III. That is just poor planning. This movie should have been all about the Clone Wars instead of Palpatine's slow accumulation of power. Now, we can expect Hayden Christensen to get mad at the flip of a switch and become evil halfway through EPISODE III. Sigh.
Overall, the coolness of the end battles makes it worth watching, but the movie as a whole is disappointing if you are a fan. Maybe, in 20 or 30 years, after Lucas dies, someone will remake these prequels in the mold of the OCEAN'S ELEVEN remake; they take the ideas and make them cool.