**1/2 (out of ****)

Rating: 4/10 (23 May 2002)

I tried George. I tried to like. I wanted to like it, really I did. I grew up with the original "Star Wars" trilogy, and wanted so desperately to like "Attack of the Clones", especially after I desperately tried to like "The Phantom Menace". But alas, I just could not. There simply was not enough there for me to like.
I recently watched "The Phantom Menace" again, to bring myself up to speed again (I guess) for Episode II. The problem with that film was Jar Jar Binks' ability to irritate the most die-hard and optimistic of Star Wars fans, and an unconvincing little Anakin (played by Jake Lloyd). Episode II is an improvement then, simply because there is no little kid, and Jar Jar's role is minimal.
The film opens ten years after the events in Episode I; Anakin Skywalker (now played by Hayden Christiansen) is no longer a tyke, but in his late teens, filled with almost as much teen angst as he had in "Life as a House". Padme Amidala (Natalie Portman) is no longer Queen, but a senator and Obi-Wan (Ewan McGregor) has grown a beard and needs a hair cut. Much of the first act of the film is comprised of `what have you been up to?' dialogue.
Anyway, there is an assassination attempt of Senator Amidala, and Obi-Wan and Anakin are dispatched by the Jedi Council to protect her and investigate. We learn that Anakin has dreamed of Padme every day since he last saw her ten years ago, and is hopelessly in love with her. Padme, though, hides her feelings.
The plot thickens when Obi-Wan stumbles on a planet that is producing millions of Clone Troopers (which look suspiciously like Storm Troopers). At the same time, plagued by nightmares, Anakin returns to Tatooine in search of his mother.
Now there is nothing really wrong with the story, just the execution of said story is extremely poor. What Lucas really needed was to hire someone to touch up the screenplay (perhaps Lawrence Kasdan again? He did co-write "Empire" and "Jedi"). Some of the dialogue, especially between Christiansen and Portman is downright atrocious. It has none of the wit or verve of anything in the original trilogy, and at times sounds remarkably like a bad high school play. Their relationship feels awkward and decidedly forced (pun intended suckers!). The romance is even more disappointing in comparison to the romance between Han Solo and Princess Leia, and how it developed with ease and effortless charm.
Portman does her best with the material, but it is Christiansen who is the dead weight. He plays Anakin like a grumpy 12 year-old in many scenes. In one scene particularly, feelings of remorse and fear would have been suitable and moving, instead he throws a temper tantrum. Christiansen delivers his lines with such banality, there is little interest for, and not much to like about his character. Perhaps though, he is not meant to be liked, after all he does become Darth Vader, the most notorious screen villain in history. But at the same time how could he not be interesting? I mean he is Darth Vader! Well, Christiansen and Lucas found a way.
Most of the elements we've come to expect from the Star Wars franchise are here: gorgeous special effects, light saber duels, grand battles, and John Williams' score. What's missing, though, is a sense of fun; a sense of awe and wonder. Perhaps it's because the story is mundane and sophomoric. It feels tired, like everyone involved just wanted to get it done and over with; even Williams' score is sub par.
To me it seems Lucas is more concerned with getting the story told, rather than relishing in telling the story of the rise and fall of Anakin Skywalker. Much of the film, despite its running time of 142 minutes, feels rushed, especially the final 15 minutes or so.
The film does have some high points, though not enough. There's a fun speeder chase (of sorts) through the towering city of Coruscant, there are some amusing moments with R2-D2 and C-3PO, and the final battle of clones, Jedi and droids is pure eye candy. With the exception of the speeder chase (which occurs early), we have to sit through 80 minutes of clumsy exposition and set up, much of which for the next film. Hopefully the third and final prequel will finally pay off, and reach the heights of the original trilogy.