A new low (SPOILERS)

Rating: 5/10 (21 May 2002)

Awesome, spectacular, fantastic! The special effects were breathtaking and the fight scenes were incredible! And now for the other two thirds of the movie.
What a piece of crap! Hayden Christenson should go back to hockey. The only thing worse than his acting was the idiotic dialogue. Particularly his. I'd rather watch Jar Jar and Yoda have sex for an hour and a half than this drivel. Endless amounts of poorly conceived, glib repartee, mercilessly interrupted by frequent thousand foot leaps from speeding hover cars (with just in time rescues from certain death) and so many light saber battles that my eyes are still seeing flashes of blue, green, and red (oh yeah, and Mace's purple helmeted warrior - I mean light saber).
The whole romance thing between Anakin and Padme had me cringing and saying "yeesh" more times than I could count. The part where he talks about how sand is rough or something and that she was soft and smooth was one of his better lines, if you can believe that! Her confession of love for him just about made me puke. I hope I can forget it.
C3PO gets his head chopped off. Miraculously, he stumbles into a conveniently empty space in a robot assembly line and his body gets a new head while his head, again miraculously, gets a new body. Geez! Talk about suspension of disbelief! Later, R2D2 takes his head and drags it back to his body. C3PO says, "what a drag" - groan! Then, when his head is lying next to his body, he says "I feel quite beside myself". What the...?
Other brilliant lines included "I hate it when he does that" and the clever variation "You know I hate it when you do that". Or how about the oft repeated "I've got a bad feeling about this" or the frequent references to Obi-Wan's hatred of flying. I'll go out on a limb and say that there was better acting and dialogue in Hercules in New York.
Obi-Wan constantly demeans Anakin and Anakin constantly acts like a complete jerk.
Jango Fett was pretty cool and I liked the big battle with all of the Jedi. Count Dooku (Saruman) was pretty nifty too. What makes the whole movie worth the price of admission is Dooku's fight with Yoda. Man, that was one of the funniest things I've ever seen! This little muppet whipping back and forth, twirling through the air was comedic genius!
I'll be generous and attribute special effects and fighting to 40% of the movie. I'll give it a 4 out of 4 here. As for the rest, somewhere between a 1 and a 2 out of 6 for a total of 5 or 6 out of 10 (I'm pretty easy on movies). I actually think this might not be better than TPM. AOTC was both fantastic, in some aspects, and utter crap in others.