Here is why I gave this film 5 out of 10

Rating: 5/10 (6 January 2003)

I grew on Star Wars, like many other denizens of the galaxy. The original film went out when I was 7, and is of course a masterpiece; The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi made their impact on my young mind later on, and were worthy sequels. They were fun to watch, had a compelling plot, interesting twists, great action, cool special effects, and you could identify with the good characters and hate the bad guys. Return of the Jedi was a bit cheesy - a kind of Soap Opera meets the Muppet Show - but all in all, things made sense. I love watching the trilogy from time to time, and reflect on the good old days.
The Phantom Menace was a disaster. Would you believe me if I hardly even remember the plot? I think it's not surprising considering the fact that half of the scenes involved that embarrassing shrimp-like Jar Jar Binks character. The other half involved a stupid teenage queen that needed protection. Young Anakin saved the day.
Well, lets see what changed in Attack of the Clones. Mr. Binks got a promotion to a full time senator, god bless Democracy. The stupid teenage queen still needs protection - not to mention an urgent haircut - by who else but young Anakin.
I've got to say something about the casting of the film. Other than the terrible plot, awful dialogues, stupid film name, and unbearable spaceship-landing-in-a-silo sequences that we're bound to see again and again in the next sequels, the most hideous crime against Star Wars fans is the casting of Anakin Skywalker. Who is this guy anyway?
A short remark before I go on with the casting: consider the computer generated special effects. Think of two chase scenes: A) the hover-bike chase in the woods in Return of the Jedi B) the computer animated hover-car chase scene on Coruscant in Attack of the Clones. 20 years of special effect art separate between the two, and I bet 9 out of 10 moviegoers will favor the bike chase scene. Especially those who've seen exactly this kind of reckless-driving-in-3D-traffic in the Fifth Element. CGI isn't everything, George! You need some brains behind it! Take a crash course with Peter Jackson - he had a task not smaller than yours - creating Middle East - and used CGI as a power tool, rather than just hammering it down on our heads.
Back to casting. You have Action Jackson, good old kick-ass Samuel J, and you make him whisper his lines like a monk after lobotomy. Jesus! Samuel Jackson should have whipped everyone's ass in a 12 parsec radius; he should have been a Han Solo, not Gandhi. And then you have Christopher Lee, arguably one of the best actors in show business - he did a great Saruman in Lord of the Rings. Here he has the depth of a wallpaper. I bet both Samuel Jackson and Christopher Lee are sorry for ever visiting the Star Wars filming set.
It gets worst. Remember the three white ghosts at the end of Return of the Jedi? Yoda, Obi Wan and Anakin smiling at young Skywalker? The tri of courage and justice? Well, lets see.
Yoda, whose garbled grammar was funny for the first time, uncomforting for the second to tenth times and dead annoying later on, turns out to be a politician that moonlights as a kindergartener. His most brilliant insights during the film are to help Obi Wan `find' the lost planet (wow! Takes years of being up close and personal with the Force to figure that one! Sherlock Holmes and Steven Hawkins would have been proud!) and to `concentrate' fire on the nearest star-ship. What a strategist! A Sun Tsu with a speech impediment.
Obi Wan. Oh, how I miss Alec Guinness. A nobleman. A thinker. A true Jedi. The Attack of the Clones version of Obi Wan is so pale in comparison. A mercenary rather than an artist.
And Anakin - well, we've covered this already. I don't see any connection whatsoever between the white ghost of Anakin - a good soul that was trapped in the dark chasm of black force - and the Anakin of Attack of the Clones. I wouldn't let the young Anakin run a convenience store, let alone become one of the trio of great Jedi lore.
One last comment. George, PLEASE stop putting us through psychology-for-a-dime scenes. Ani sees his mother die (oh, so that's why he turns later on to the dark side). The Jango Kid sees his father die (oh, so that's why he is after the good guys in the original trilogy). I bet that in Episode III we will have young Chewbacca seeing his twin brother die in the hands of imperial troopers, and young Han Solo seeing his goldfish traded for a six-pack, making him obsessed with contraband and booze.

To summarize - Star Wars II is a movie I'd like to forget. I truly hope George will come to its senses. In the meantime, here's 5 out of 10 for Attack of the Clones.