Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) *

Rating: 2/10 (29 May 2005)

(Possible Spoiler)
I'm not a die-hard STAR WARS fan by any means, yet I recognize the original 1977 adventure as a very good throwback to the old time adventure serials, on which it was based. As of this writing I'm eager to familiarize myself with these movies in preparation for the newly released REVENGE OF THE SITH. I wanted to at least rent THE PHANTOM MENACE and ATTACK OF THE CLONES to get some sort of perspective.
I actually saw PHANTOM MENACE upon its release in 1999; it wasn't very good to me then and I'm sorry to say that my home viewing of it for the second time last night appealed to me even less. I don't feel too clueless, as I'm aware that even many STAR WARS devotees also were disappointed with this one. It's just a chaotic mess, not very decipherable, and far too juvenile. To make matters even less bearable, some of the performers were poorly chosen. Chief on the list is little inexperienced Jake Lloyd, who is completely non-convincing as the one who'd become Darth Vader, as we all know. He doesn't come across as the "wiz kid" or "potentially dangerous" presence we keep hearing about from Liam Neeson's character. Lucas should have gone with the talented Haley Joel Osment (THE SIXTH SENSE)... he really could have pulled this part off. Natalie Portman is absolutely horrid as she plays the disinterested queen who slips in and out of her noble delivery, depending on whether or not she's in her makeup at any given moment. Only Denise Richards could have been less effective (maybe).
The CGI effects are way too much, and often times I felt like I was watching an old Looney Toons comedy; hordes of silly-looking creatures, making funnies and acting all stupid. Which leads us to the irritating Jar-Jar Binks -- it was a disaster having this annoying character in the film. A good (I mean, bad) example of where these cartoony creatures really overstayed their welcome was during the popular "pod race," which was more mind-numbing than exciting. I couldn't make heads or tails out of it, and I couldn't wait until it ended.
Thank heavens for Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor. On the plus side (and the only real thing this chapter has going for it), Neeson is magnificent in his role as the Jedi Master who has taught young Obi-Wan (another fine performance from McGregor) the ways of the Jedi. They make a perfect team, and it's a shame they were wasted in this muddled mess of a movie. I should mention that I thought Darth Maul made for a pretty good villain, but he was sadly under-used. Oh, yes - and the whole thing felt (surprise!) about 45 minutes too long. Oh well. Every series is entitled to have its turkey. Now I move on to EPISODE II... * out of ****