What is this?

Rating: Null/10 (21 July 1999)

15 years is a long time in which to deliver a movie, and finally we are given the Phantom Menace. Regardless of the hype, and even knowing full well that this is a kids movie, it is still a terrible film. However, let's put this into a proper context.
Lucas made the movie with his own money, and that's where the problems lie. It's his franchise and he can do whatever he wants. Who's going to argue with him; if they do, he just fires them, right. When you don't have a studio breathing down your neck, you can become extremely lazy, and that's really what this movie is - lazy!
All the visual effects in the world still can't save this movie. Here's the top ten problems (out of 50+) I found...
1) Visual effects, for visual effects sake. SFX can be good, if used in context with the storyline. How many times did you see a cutaway visual effects scene-setter during the Corruscant scene - about six times. Totally wasteful and pointless.
2) Jar Jar Binks. Chewbacca was palatable in Episode 4 because he only made a few groans, but here Jar Jar is a joke. Even the kids in the cinema were bored with his stupidity, but maybe you can forgive this if you could understand what the f*** the thing was saying. He totally spoils every scene he is in.
3) Gungan shields. Okay you can't fire through them, but you can walk through the shield - what the ????
4) Are these robots (army of) the dumbest things ever invented. Firstly, they can't even aim properly. Secondly, they need a Control Ship to function - what, they don't have enough memory, or they can't be remotely programmed???. This is the worst plot device nonsense I've seen since ID4.
5) Videogames - the only point to the pod-race seemed as an excuse for a videogame tie-in. And guess what, Pod Racer is in stores now...
6) Acting - even crap lines can be delivered with a bit of enthusiasm, but here, first class actors like Neeson looked, frankly, embarrased. McGregor didn't help, delivering his worst screen performance to date.
7) Maul - about as scary as an ewok.
8) Palpatine - the only British actor who seemed at all to be of any benefit. The real phantom menace.
9) Stereotypes - way too many. Opening scenes on the space station - Chinese/Japanese people. Watto - stupid Italian fella. Robots - Rodger Rodger - cross between American/Japanese soldiers of mercy. Jar Jar - Jamaican meesa. What was all that meesa about??? Boss Nass - hah, is this a boss, a fat freak who shakes his jaws like a baby???
10) The other 40 problems that I can't be bothered listing...
But hey, it's not my money, it's Lucas and he can do what he wants with it. But then, I can think of a million better ways to spend $115 million dollars. I just wish I hadn't put another 5 quid into his coffers.