"Phantom Plot" Fails to Menace

Rating: 5/10 (13 June 1999)

The Phantom Menace blows. Cartoonish and gangly, this latest endeavor from The Lucas Emporium, Inc. seemed to think it was such a sparkling epic that it could easily afford to overlook such passÃ© film staples as plot, acting, and dialogue, none of which make an appearance anywhere in the movie. Too dependent on the "cuteness" of the omnipresently and incomprehensibly irksome Jar Jar Binks (oh, but what a great action figure he'll make!), the visual spectacle of its overworked digital landscapes (like something from the pages of a "Where's Waldo" book), and the dubious believability of the stone-faced, deadpan performance of Natalie Portman as Queen Abidala (did these actors get to create their own accents?), the movie falls limply and quite disappointingly short of its cult-classic predecessors.
The adorable little lead actor and the light-saber scenes (which looked like replays of the Luke/Vader fights with more money dumped into them) did little to float this barge. Perhaps the robotic Portman -- who had as many facial expressions as the sharpshooting battledroids -- would have been better cast as a droid herself. Even the pivotal race sequence looked over-produced and under-thought, which proved to be the theme for the entire film.
At the end though, it had the definite taste of a prequel, and it did leave me with a strong hunch that better things are to come. Meanwhile, however, I can only recommend this movie to the die-hardest of "Star Wars" zealots, much as I'd recommend "Star Trek V" to trekkies.