Visual nirvana, flat plot, rubber actors, shameless marketing

Rating: 6/10 (26 May 1999)

If you saw the remakes of Episodes 4-6 you might be a bit disappointed. Episode 1 looks a LOT like the remakes -- there's a story about a young Darth Skywalker though that is VERY cute -- I think this young actor really steals the show in range and projecting a sense of having genuine fun and awe with the experience -- I guess that's why adults like kids in general; other non-disappointments include cityscapes and underwater fantasyscapes like you've never seen, really visually magnificent stuff, and there's a race scene that is a specFX breakthrough. I haven't been that absorbed and wowed since having first seen Luke Skywalker fly like a god in a striking back Empire.
The story itself hobbles along without any particular focus and no depth or creativity or dramatic buildup or intrigue or plot twist or pretty much anything -- unsalted boiled egg on stale white bread sandwich lovers will find this plot development boring -- save for the visually stunning aforementioneds -- it just plays on and on like one great big extended action figure commercial -- and everything bad you've heard about the annoying muppet-like figure JarJar Binks is true! Both visually and conceptually his character is like adding a huge Smiley onto the Sistine Chapel's ceiling. But as I recall, we didn't like Yoda either much when he first appeared back in the 80's. I remember everybody in the theater collectively going "What The?.." when the rubber B-movie rubber Godzilla fakey hideous character first appeared -- it was a bold move that we reluctantly embraced in part for its very boldness. In fact, I think we still don't like Yoda's fake-look much and suspend disbelief quite a bit to accept him as a biological improbability even in the most remote reaches of the universe -- but JarJar just has taken a bad concept too far.
Yoda has no trouble competing with the human actors for emotional reach -- he frequently wins I think and the two best adult actors, Sam Jackson and Liam Neeson, don't get enough screen time. Who did the casting for this film -- JarJar?
Finally a note on some of the dialects -- nasty put down of Jamaicans (portrayed as silly hedonistic primitive and mutant-like) and Asians (portrayed as conniving and evil). Reminds me of early Disney's denigrating shots at stereotypic "Black" dialects. It bothers me that this sorta thing bothers very few others.
All in all, a 6, which I will watch again on video only with the audio turned off and hopefully a way to erase JarJar with software yet to be developed.
I'm actually looking forward to a spinoff of the Star Wars hexology -- one with an intense Matrix-like plot befitting the transforming visual imagery found in these films and without muppet characters and 3rd grade spear holder acting.
Lucas, once a shining prophet way ahead of his time, has underwhelmed as a whole package and has sadly trademarked his soul to the marketers of the Dark Side.