From a rational fan, boring, slow, dumbed down and goes no where

Rating: 1/10 (24 July 2005)

Star Wars fans often fall into two categories (although we are all losers and geeks)(i) The purists who will probably never be with anything that lucas makes unless it fits their vision of what star wars is in the first three films. These individuals also tend to criticize everything to the outmost detail and tend to forget that these are ONLY MOVIES!(ii) Lucas Geeks who worship the man and will give all his movies 10 star ratings, even if the movie was a lump of crap sitting there stinking it up attracting flies for 2 hours (and let me tell you this movie is not far off!). There is a third segment of us, that while being die-hard fans of the first three movies still are willing to give the second trilogy a chance, but are critical of what we see as mediocre attempts to relive a great trilogy.
I consider myself part of number 3, which you will see in my reviews of all the Star Wars movies. I have Sith 7 stars, this 1 and will give clones 4 when my reviews are finished on this trilogy. Phantom Menace is half C Span and half kiddy movie. I have found it unwatchable and can't get through it a second time. Jake Lloyd can't act and it would have added to the plot to make Anakin 5-10 years older. I do not wish to insult those who like the movies, however, i do not see how you can enjoy them unless you are under the age of 11.
The movie's plot is difficult to figure out. It is over some sort of blockade by the trade federation over the planet Naboo. If they have a problem why don't they just slap some tariffs on Naboo and let it be. Anyhow, there are the usual chases and star wars effects, none of which seem to work. The underwater chase especially is very boring. The pod race is a little better.
Jar Jar, is some kind of drunken retarded sports' mascot. And Darth Maul is pathetic, he has all the elements of a bad guy on the surface, but is on screen for about 10 minutes and has little to no dialogue. Even the Emperor's "Wipe them all out" line is laughable considering he is using a bunch of second rate droids to do so and doing it over a trade dispute. In the end Anakin blows up the lead ship up, almost through dumb luck, there is some sort of mental celebration, Qui Gon dies and we are set up with Obi Won training Anakin in the next movie. Really, this movie could have been done in an hour.
As a quick note it happened to be on TV the night I wrote this, I caught bits and pieces to revive my memory and yes it is as bad if not worse than I remembered.