Disappointment through and through -SOME SPOILERS!

Rating: 3/10 (11 January 2002)

*Spoiler*(But not much) As much as I have always admired the imagination of George Lucas, I am seriously beginning to doubt his talent as a writer and director. Being a huge fan of the original trilogy, I was seriously disappointed by Episode One. The characters are one-dimensional, the plot is just stupid and there are a lot of worrying stupidities and idiosyncrazies in this movie.
The Force is played down to some basic bio-chemistry level. I mean, what the f*** are midi-chlorians? Anakin is supposedly another "immaculate conception" - I'm Jesus, anyone? And he BUILT C-3PO? How stupid is that? If 3PO originated on Tatooine, Lucas better explain why he appears to be thoroughly perplexed by this planet in Star Wars IV. Darth Maul is ultra-cool, but since he's wiped out in the end, we won't have more than a small hint at how evil he is. He is alas merely an extra in most of the movie, only shining through in the last fight-sequence (by far the coolest lightsabre duel of the entire series). The space scenes with the batte-droid fighters are just to fast and furious for one to really get sucked in. You don't really get to see their ships, as they move to fast for the naked eye. The "Good Guys" seem like merely add-ons to the scene, never really shown to be fighting - and Anakin saves the day by being lucky, out-of-his-depth and of course far greater than any of the experienced pilots. It seems like a last-minute idea, as Lucas remembered the original Obi-Wan describing Anakin as "already a great pilot when I met him" in the original Star Wars movie. Stupid, too easy and far too CGI based to be even moderately enchanting.
Don't even get me started on Jar-Jar Binks and the Gungans. If ever there was a species apt for termination, it must be this one. In the interest of justice, why don't the nascent Empire do us all a favour and make sure that these blithering idiots are wiped out before the completion of the current thrilogy? It would sort of make up for the destruction of Alderaan in my book. Hearing that Jar-Jar will return in the sequel (along with N'Sync) is making me literally fear for the future of Star Wars (but I'll probably end up seeing it anyway - if only out of love for the original series and the hope that this one will better itself real soon!).
3 out of Ten. Not a total waste of time, but definitely NOT a Star Wars classic! I don't want my money back, but I won't be singing its praise anytime soon (I'll just stick with Episode 5 as my current favourite - it's is nicely horrifying and shows the full might of the terrible Empire, effectively justifying the Rebellion of Episode 4 and the amazing Victory of Episode 6. The glue of the series.)
Phew, I'm done ranting.