Lucas shows fastball, sneaks by a SLOW changeup...

Rating: 1/10 (7 June 1999)

Well, everyone expected a great film, with a killer story, amazing special effects, and great performances. What we got was drivel.
Yes, I saw and enjoyed the original "Star Wars" films, but did not see the need to buy sheets or toys or models or otherwise alter my lifestyle to suit Lucas' marketing machine. Unfortunately, when reading other reviews, one finds that many have bought into this "saga", and have been suckered into this TERRIBLE excuse for a film from a much older George Lucas.
What the "Great Director" (of five films, no less!) hath wrought is a 2-hour video commercial for his real business, toy and junk merchandising. There isn't a great moment in this film, and most of it is annoying (Jar Jar Binks, Jake Lloyd) or stupid (the ridiculous underwater city and its inhabitants). Was that really Oscar-nominated Liam Neeson talking to a flying blue insect, an unintelligible thing with a long tongue and Labrador ears, and a guy with a cool head tattoo and horns? Wow. It was amusing to see Samuel Jackson in a film where he didn't swear, but that's it. Oh, and the pod race with those ridiculous alien characters meant to recall the great chariot race in the second "Ben Hur"? I dozed. As I would expect any adult would, when an annoying eight year old kid is the center of the story, doing ridiculous things ("Gee, I don't know how I just blew up this space station and saved the world, but I better get outta here!").
All in, this film is an insult. One reviewer even said that he/she didn't really LIKE the characters, but had to see the film again to really understand it (as if multiple viewings will reveal more of WHAT ISN'T THERE). What a scam. I'm afraid to ask what films or influences are affecting those who wrote and said this was a good film. I found it embarrassing and insulting, and a poor example of craft from a guy who's had 20 YEARS to think up a better film that appeals more broadly to ADULTS and kids, as the original films did. All of the alien characters are ridiculous and highly unoriginal. A friend who saw "Phantom Menace" also noted that the special effects aren't that much better than the original films, either, and ILM is Lucas' real legacy to filmmaking. Sorry, but the reviewers are right. This film is MEDIOCRE AT BEST, and is really a subliminal message to buy junk. Save your money and see "The Mummy" or "Austin Powers", both of which are a hell of a lot more fun.
Rating: 1 out of 10.