The biggest cinematic disappointment in history

Rating: 4/10 (21 September 2013)

There is a very good reason why this film gets shat on so much and is often called one of the biggest cinematic disappointments of all time: It flat out sucks, and if anyone ever tells you otherwise than they are either a dumbass Star Wars fanboy or a stupid little kid. The story is basically the Jedi have to stop a trade corporation from doing something to a peaceful planet by some means that are never explained to us.Let me just come out and say it: The movie doesn't make any sense. And the plot itself isn't exactly what you would call "Interesting" or "Complex" either. Like, why are we talking about trade routes in a Star 'Wars movie, who gives a crap? Like I understand that this has to lay the groundwork for the entire Star Wars saga, but that doesn't give it an excuse to be this boring. How is the acting? Not much better than the plot unfortunately. While Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor do good in their roles (With what they're given to work with), everyone else in the movie is AWFUL! Jake Lloyd is awful, Natalie Portman is hollow, shallow, and just boring to listen to, and Jar Jar is annoying as hell. And speaking of Jar Jar: Why is he here? If you thought the Ewoks sucked... they still do, but Jar Jar is so much more annoying than those walking teddy bears ever were. He is clearly meant as comic relief, yet every joke he makes is the equivalent to a fart or crap joke. I don't find him racist, just annoying and by far one of the worst characters in cinematic history. However, I will say this about the movie: The action scenes are really cool (What few of them there are) and the film has really damn good visuals. Like, seriously I give massive props to the effects team, cause the film is pure eye candy. This was the Avatar before there was well... Avatar. And the action is crisp and easy to follow and honestly, really thrilling (With the exception of the podrace, which goes on way too long and is not all that interesting to watch). The duel at the end between Darth Maul and the two jedi is a true sight to behold. However, there is way too much going on at the end: You got the battle up in space, the battle between Dath Maul and the jedi, the queen attempting to infiltrate the palace, and the gungans fighting the droid army. The jedi duel should be in the movie, the infiltration should be in the movie, everything else should be cut out. And another problem with the end is they way they kill off Darth Maul, like it has no meaning cause we didn't even know who he was! At least with Boba Fett in Return of The Jedi we knew who he was and what he wanted, so despite his embarrassing death he remained badass, Darth Maul on the other hand goes out in the stupidest way possible, and we have no clue who he was or what he truly wanted?! Did he want revenge? Money? Power? We never find out. So yeah, while the film has impressive visuals and battle scenes the movie itself, with all of its boring political talk, shoddy script, and overall boredom it is easy to classify this as the biggest cinematic disappointment ever, though Attack of The Clones was so much worse than this.