Do metachlorines cause bad acting?

Rating: 5/10 (8 February 2002)

The first time I saw this film I was impressed. Sure Jar Jar was annoying but the action was enough to keep me interested and I was anxious to find out how the Empire would be formed. After watching it a second time, knowing the action that would take place, I listened carefully to the dialogue. Again, Jar Jar's mangled English was of course annoying. The new thing I really noticed was that none of the characters seemed to really know what they were doing in the movie. The dialogue was awful and the hinted "relationship" between Anakin and his babysitter at the end was sick and wrong.
Natalie Portman was a disappointing Queen Amidala as Lucas' misguided attempts at multiculturalism transformed her into some Japanese princess whose personality was so wooden, it made Al Gore look like Ronald Reagan. If Lucas was trying for a new Princess Leia, he found the wrong actress. Leia in the original Star Wars delivers her lines with wit and spark. Amidala delivers her lines in an utterly boring and unconvincing monotone.
Jake Lloyd is the worst actor of the bunch, however as cute little Anakin Skywalker (affectionately called Anny by everyone). Do metachlorines cause bad acting? That may explain why young "Anny" treats the scene where he is leaving his mother behind like he is going out on a campout (Gee mom, can I go?) That would also explain why young Anakin expresses his "love" for Amidala at the end...."Space is cold. I care for you alot. I guess. Can I have some ice cream?....(if that doesn't make you gag, nothing will). Maybe the fear Yoda sensed in Anakin was the fear that after this he'll never get another acting job again.
Possible deleted scene on the DVD release:
Amidala: Stop that.
Anakin: Stop what?
Amidala: My hands are dirty.
Anakin: My hands are dirty too. We've been finger painting all day, remember?
Amidala: I happen to like nice men.
Anakin: I know I am a bad boy. You need more bad boys in your life.
Amidala: Kiss me!
Anakin: Okay but will you read me a bedtime story afterwards? You are the greatest babysitter/girlfriend ever!
It must be the metachlorines. Maybe Lucas has an especially high count himself. Overall grade: C+.