The Phantom Plot

Rating: 1/10 (25 November 2006)

Spoilers (too late - spoiled movie) I would have killed the kid  too annoying. And why wager the queen's spaceship to buy the part you need to fix it? Everything else still works on that gorgeous new star-cruiser, so just trade it even-up for an ugly ship with a working hyper-drive. Oh that's right  there's no hurry. Your planet's just being overrun by evil aliens. Did they take a submarine through the center of the planet? I won't even allow for that possibility with futuristic alien technology. That was just a ridiculous pretext for showing an underwater sea monster. So why not just land next to the city and save the sea odyssey? Same goes for the invaders. Why did it take so long for spaceships ALREADY IN ORBIT from the beginning of the movie to attack the city? There was just no logical sense of timing or urgency. Also, they should have let Darth Maul live. I liked him. But Jar-Jar Binks could have been eliminated completely. Not only was he a ridiculous, pathetic, annoying racial stereotype, and looked too much like Ally McBeal with a green suntan, but he was hard to understand. Not that he said anything worth listening to. Am I the only person in the world who looks at computer animation and sees a cheap cartoon? Most of the movie looked more like a video game than a feature film. Oh, and if you're fighting a monster that will be added in later using computer magic and you want it to look convincing, your eyes should focus about 2 or 3 feet in front of you, not on the cue card guy 30 feet away. It makes it seem like you're talking to a ghost. They should make another Star Wars 1  The Adjustment. In this movie, we pretend that the Phantom Menace never happened and are treated to a real Star Wars movie, exploding Death Star and all! Hey, I can wish, can't I? It would make plenty of money and still leave room for two more prequels that need to be remade. This was utterly worthless. Third worst movie of the 1990's for hype.