Zzzzzzz... what? Oh, they're still talking... zzzzzzz

Rating: 3/10 (17 December 2015)

To begin with: I don't hate this movie. It did not offend my nerd sensibilities. No, it committed a crime even worse than that. I bored me senseless. And it managed to make its stellar cast look like they couldn't act. Oh... and of course there's Jar Jar. 'Nuff said.
I will start with the pros, because this won't take long. Lucas tried (emphasis on tried) to really give us fleshed out backstory about how the Empire and the Rebellion came into being, about how it all began, where everyone is coming from. Another star is for the excellent choice of actors, the third one for Darth Maul (holy smokes, that is one of the most bad-ass villains ever).
The cons however far outweigh the pros. The film is unmercifully dull. Lucas is sadly completely unable to write realistic dialogue, and apparently insisted on doing it all himself, which results in great actors looking like card-board cut outs and middling actors looking like terrible ones. The film is over CGI-ed to an unpardonable degree (which was often done back in the day, so I can't put that sin as squarely on Lucas' shoulders as I can with the dialogue). Nothing looks real or convincing, you can basically see the actors helplessly trying to appear as if they are interacting with anything. It's lame. The endless trade and taxation discussions are so uninteresting that I ended up actually NOT understanding any more of the backstory or motivations.
Bottom line: I have seen it twice now, once in the theatres, after which I was in denial about how bad it was. And now, years later, expecting it to be bad. I thought this might make the viewing experience less disappointing, but actually, I found it was worse. I will not be watching it again.