The worst film ever made.

Rating: Null/10 (1 October 2005)

O.K here are the problems with the first film of the prequel series as compared to the originals: (I'm sorry if, like a previous reviewer, anyone feels I am "over intellectualising" the film but if you just want to gormlessly lap up any childish rubbish sent your way then don't even bother reviewing)
No, the originals were not great cinematic masterpieces, they were classic, well crafted epic blockbusters that inspired for a number of reasons. In fact Lucas had the opportunity to outstrip the originals had he so wished. I believe that Lucas had no intention of making a good film; his mind was on two things: MONEY and EGO. He wanted to make a series in the style of "Titanic", which many would love, and the rest would grudgingly admit to having found entertaining. But he made a crucial mistake. He underestimated the intelligence of even your average American moron. He attempted the biggest con in cinema history, and failed. Even the American public was not going to let him take the p*ss out of them so blatantly.
>Star Wars was essentially a war film in space. Simple idea. Just chuck in some authentic characters, amazing sets and a brilliant score and you're away. The master stroke was the addition of the mystical "force".
But what made the original films - and any self respecting fan will acknowledge this - was its humanity. The only way the whole thing could be kept from being laughably absurd was the injection of a healthy dose of believable people to set against the unfamiliar background. That way the story had some emotion.
Tatooine, in ANH really does look like the arse end of the galaxy, unlike the well developed shiny planet of TPM. We understand why Luke wants to get away. Even the narrow mindedness of uncle Owen is convincing. The film actually builds up tension as the stormtroopers search for the heroes in Mos Eisley, while TPM is completely lacking in this attribute. Notice how Lucas cleverly replaces stormtroopers with droids so that the Jedi's can spend the whole film hacking them to pieces - which would be far too gory in the case of actual soldiers.
Then there's the main aspect that adds that little bit extra to ANH: the enigmatic back story of Obi-Wan, Darth Vader and Luke. In contrast in TPM we have the unspeaking, storyless "Darth Maul" and no explanation of the opposition of the Sith and the Jedi. And anyone who found "Darth Sidious" exciting has to be pretty stupid. That side of things gets minimal time in the film, and it's just a case of "Oh right so that's the Emperor then". It's like Lucas made all three prequels without managing to really cover any of the interesting stuff.
Lucas destroys the mysticism of the Force with some pointless "midiclorian" idea, and then conversely can't be satisfied with Vader being a human who turned bad and makes him in to some kind of counter-Christ virgin birth figure. I have no problem with Anakin being a child, and the podrace thing has a certain logic to it, as well as the scene of him leaving his mother, but from there on it's impossible for the central character to exhibit any character or realistically participate in any action. It would have been far more sensible if there were at least some negative aspects of the future Vader's childhood life, or if he had some residual Jedi abilities (or if he was a bit older).
An earlier reviewer suggested that Lucas is being castigated for trying new ideas instead of remaking the originals. On the contrary. He chose to use old elements, such as CP30 and R2D2 and the planet tatooine, when this would only give the films a feeling of gimmicky fakeness. Anyone with a brain would find it odd that 3PO forgot that he had been made on Tatooine or met Obi Wan, or that Obi Wan would completely forget the droids: "I don't seem to remember ever owning a droid". Then Lucas creates new elements such as Amidala and Jar Jar, who are just poor analogues of characters from the originals. The gunguns were basically the ewoks (natives!) in even more annoying form, and Amidala just an insipid and wooden version of Leia! (Jar Jar = Chewbacca).
The most amazing thing of all was that Lucas actually denied us what we came to see: amazing battle scenes. The final space battle scene was rushed and undramatic. The one on Naboo was choreographed, cartoony and unrealistic. The blaster shoot out in the palace was perfunctory and pedestrian. At no point was there EVER a sense that the good guys might not win. And to cap it all, Lucas goes against the entire spirit of the originals by making the good guys win by pure chance, not through any striving or ability! ANH thrived on the fact that the audience was rooting for the underdog against all odds. TPM was basically the opposite of everything a straight forward blockbuster should be, whilst completely lacking the depth of character, acting, plot or action sequences that it would need to be anything more.
Lucas focused on the Darth Vader story, which we all wanted to see, but did not develop it at all, so that we were left totally unsatisfied at the end. As a result the rest of the film was just a pointless, meaningless background with no adversity at all.
This is probably the worst film ever made.