Is it over yet? Can I wake up and go home?

Rating: Null/10 (9 June 1999)

I couldn't help but get the distinct feeling I was watching an episode of Batman (the original live action series with Adam West) during Episode 1. Most of the alien's lips (if they had a semblance of lips or lip-like tissue) didn't come close to matching the dialogue (or what passed as dialogue), Yoda looked like he just came from a bad Muppet Show audition and sounded like Scooby Doo with a cold, and the character and appearance of JarJar Binks had to be one of the most ill-conceived ideas of the whole fiasco.
I think my biggest beef is with the dialogue. By turns insipid and cliched, not to mention carrying the melodrama of a Cher re-mix, the dialogue consistently undermined scenes, plot and characters alike. The only character I had any connection or belief in was Obi Wan, thanks to Ewan Macgregor's subtle performance and restrained delivery (the fact that he looked really hot didn't hurt either, though I'd snip the braid down the side of his head). This film seemed to be searching for its' demographic - unsure whether to appeal to children, adults or both, and probably only fully successful in reaching child-like adults. Appealing to both is a hard act to pull off unless you're Disney, and even then the results are negligible.
I think the core problem with Star Wars: Episode 1 is that it didn't take itself seriously enough.