Star Bores

Rating: 2/10 (3 August 1999)

Well, I wasn't expecting much from this film, as I thought the original trilogy was mediocre, but even so, I was unprepared for the scale of boredom and nausea (yes, it is possible to mix these two feelings, as I discovered) that this film induced.
Let's see, first there was the "plot" - the federation for some reason wishes to take over some planet that no one has ever heard of. The planet, understandably, objects, so they have a war. That seems to be about it.
Then, there were the "characters", which were either selected to be as irritating as possible, or else designed to make respected actors wish they were somewhere else. The brat that was hired to play Anakin was surpassed in acting ability by the scenery, while Jar Jar would have been rejected by Disney, even on a bad day. I kept expecting him to burst into song about lollipops and rainbows. Ewan Macgregor sounded like he was forced to keep marbles in his mouth to affect an English accent
Oh yes, the "special effects". In many scenes, the computer generated characters looked jerky and unnatural, as if they were done on a limited budget (a real joke when you consider the amount this turkey will rake in). Compared to Jurassic Park or Starship Troopers, there was a distinctly amateurish appearance.
But none of this will matter, of course - the film will still rocket to the top of the charts, both in public ratings and in the amount of cash extracted from the willing wallets of the groupies. Things have moved on since P T Barnum's day - now there are thousands born every minute.
Lucas knew that he could produce trash like this and still make millions. I suppose few of us would be able to resist the temptation to do the same thing in his place, but still it is sad to see that he doesn't have a bit more pride in his work. In the words of Austin Powers - if you see only one film this summer, see anything but Star Wars.