I Don't Like This Movie...BUT...

Rating: 6/10 (19 August 2016)

Ladies and gentlemen of IMDb, I know you've spent many, many years watching or reading countless reviews bashing this movie. What I need to tell you won't take very long at all; I don't like "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace." I don't expect you to like it. It has oodles of horrendous dialogue even by the low standards of the Saga, it's been a destructive force in the reputation of the otherwise underrated and masterful "Star Wars" prequels, it joins "The Force Awakens" as one of only two "Star Wars" movies I refuse to watch when marathoning the Saga. I don't like it. But this isn't a popularity contest. It's a movie review. And subjective opinions aside..."The Phantom Menace" IS a good movie.
I'll start out with the cons, as there are some EXTREMELY big ones. First of, Jar Jar Binks. While some people take the hatred of the character too far (Calling him a racist stereotype? SERIOUSLY?), he's still pretty unfunny and just downright detestable. I am a fervent believer in the "Darth Jar Jar" theory which insists that Jar Jar was ORIGINALLY intended to be a dark mirror to Yoda (The seemingly insignificant, annoying comic relief-esque character who turns out to possess great wisdom, power and knowledge), but because the idea was abandoned after Jar Jar's awful fan reception, he just ends up as a wholly distracting and painfully irritating failed "comedic" character. A shame, as if previously mentioned fan theory were correct and followed through, we could have had a villain as epic and sinister in scale as the Emperor himself.
The child actors are absolutely abysmal. Jake Lloyd as little Anakin Skywalker is JUST as bad as everyone says he is. Every time he opens his mouth to speak, I get a little tingle in my fingers to press the mute button to silence his wooden, obnoxious delivery. True, he's not helped by the fact the film features some of the worst dialogue in the Saga ("Are you an angel?"), but I can easily imagine a child actor like Daeg Faerch or Brady Allen running circles around Lloyd's "acting."
Natalie Portman is similarly awful as Padme Amidala. While I greatly enjoyed her performances in "Attack of the Clones" and "Revenge of the Sith", she is totally out of her element here. She seems to have adopted Carrie Fisher's knack for "on again, off again" British accents and constantly changing her approach to the character.
Ewan McGregor is simply boring as Obi Wan Kenobi in "The Phantom Menace" with next to NO personality or even desire. As Robert McKee from Adaptation says, "You cannot have a protagonist without desire, it doesn't make any SENSE!" Granted, like Portman he would vastly improve in "Attack of the Clones", but in "The Phantom Menace" he's merely a blank slate.
If you thought the tonal shifts in "Return of the Jedi" were jarring and awful, "The Phantom Menace" will all but drive you insane. One minute you'll have very serious, intellectual discussion of the Republic debating how to deal with an ominous trade blockade or Darth Maul brooding alongside his evil master Darth Sidious, and the next minute you'll have Jar Jar stepping in crap and smelling Eopie farts. It makes immersion into the film almost impossible.
With all that being said though, the film does enough right for me to BARELY consider it good. The introduction of complex world politics to the universe of "Star Wars" is refreshing and fascinating. I love seeing how the Republic works in terms of its government and decision making, and kudos to Lucas for giving the bad guys more of a complex and realistic plan than merely blowing up planets with a giant laser.
Liam Neeson is outstanding as Qui Gonn Jinn, a character so fascinating and with so much depth that it makes me even more frustrated with how poorly his original trilogy equivalent Ben Kenobi was written in "A New Hope." He has the wisdom and stoicism you'd expect, but his rebellious, chaotic "ends justify the means" approach to solving problems is surprising and makes for a more interesting mentor figure. At the same time, he is incredibly empathetic and loyal to those close to him, seeing the value in those who may not even see it in themselves. Neeson does an excellent job balancing Qui Gonn's warmth, wisdom, passion and intensity in a very nuanced performance that is easily the best in the movie. Not often do we have anti-establishment mentors in science fantasy, and when we do it's rarely as subtle as with Qui Gonn in "Episode I." Thus when he loses his life at the hands of the demonic Darth Maul in the film's climactic lightsaber duel, it truly stung me emotionally. It's a vast improvement over Ben Kenobi's emotionally barren death in "A New Hope."
While the jarring shifts in tone may be distracting, the film does at least touch on some clever themes. The idea and message of symbiosis (Multiple organisms working together for mutual benefit) is consistent throughout the movie through its characters and relationships as well as the concept of the symbiotic midichlorians; microscopic organisms that represent Jedi's connection to the Force. Many critics have pointed out that midichlorians remove the mysticism behind the Force, but perhaps we're looking at it from the wrong view. Perhaps midichlorians are created through force of will and faith, rather merely existing immediately upon birth regardless of will. It's at the very least a thought provoking concept.
People have gone all out on their criticism of "The Phantom Menace." They're throwing everything but the kitchen sink at this movie. I can't change your opinion on the film whatever it is, and I wouldn't want too. I merely ask one thing; I want you to ask yourself, is not liking this movie reason enough to call it "one of the worst movies ever made?"