Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road

Rating: 1/10 (28 May 2001)

I gave this movie a 1, even though I am a total Star Wars freak. It is one thing to be disappointed but quite another to realize that Jar Jar Binks is the stupidest and most horrific thing I've ever seen in my life, on or off the screen. Here's why.
I got into writing mainly because of George Lucas. Not only does he betray me and his other loyal fans by going against his own teachings (that special effects should only enhance a story, not be the story), but he tries to explain Force-sensitivity as being an effect of a person who has an unusually high amount of "midi-chlori" (mitochondria, for those who don't know the real life equivalent). The problem is that doing so eliminates the sense of fantasy and of fate that the original trilogy had. Even I know that George Lucas is incapable of sustaining straight science fiction movie, let alone hard science fiction, so why even bother trying? What made the original trilogy so great was the magic, that weird feeling Lucas was able to tap into that makes us feel like children again on the living room rug, six inches from the TV, staring up at the Saturday morning cartoons or sci-fi serials--no thoughts about getting eye cancer or what we'll do when we grow up. It's idyllic. It's escapism. It's a little campy at times. But there is something vital in that magic--innocence and hope. Something more Yellow Brick Road and Emerald City than laser-tasers or giant spaceships or computer-generated characters could ever hope to achieve. Something I hope Lucas recaptures in time for the sequels.