Face it, reputation made this film...

Rating: 2/10 (23 October 2000)

If Phantom Menace were to be an original film, not a sequel, not a prequel, but the first of it's kind, this movie would have been thrashed and trashed as much as Travolta's folly Battlefield Earth. The reputation of Star Wars made this film. I will not excuse it of it's horrid production however. You can serve a beautiful cuisine with elaborate colors and garnishes, but if it tastes like cardboard, what's it matter?
First of all, I can understand that Star Wars as a genre is a silly sci-fi film. Was it meant to be serious? Probably in Lucas' mind but even Mr. Harrison Ford states that maybe someone other than Lucas should be penning the story. Of course the best interpretation of an idea is the one who thinks of it first. However, George Lucas excels in bringing eye candy to us all. The aliens, the scenery. NOT the story. The dialogue is the prime killer of this film. When I hear Qui-Gon praise Obi-wan that he will one day become a great Jedi Knight, and a much more wiser man one day might I add, after being scolded and led around like a clueless student, I shudder. What has Obi-Wan done in the film that deserves that remark besides an absurd attempt to foreshadow? Maybe that one sword fight in the end? Qui-Gon is the MAIN Jedi of the film. Obi-Wan, well he was there because he had to be there. The Queen, maybe its her character but shes reading lines from cardboard. Padme? I like her, but what's so unique about her? She can shoot guns and dodge guns like her bodyguard? Who needs the bodyguard then if she could do all that. See the end of the film when they try to retake Naboo and you'll see what I'm talking about. Speaking of, I found this absurd as well. If the Queen is the decoy, the bodyguard. She seems to be fit to rule as well. Why would they refer to her, talk to her, in the beginning of the film when NO one but her trusted Council is there. Does Padme not trust her own people? Or is she unfit to rule so they consult with the bodyguard instead.
Alot of people loathe Jar-Jar Binks. I don't abhor his character, he's an alien. So, some act peculiar to us standards. However, I do have someone I totally detest in the film. Anakin Skywalker. Why did they envisioned Jake Lloyd as Anakin? So he could play this cute little kid who makes light of every situation and cracks out the lame lines that they give him? I feel so much pity for the dead pilots of the assault on the Trade Federation Controlship. These are, I assume, trained pilots risking their lives to save their planet. Obviously I was terribly mistaken as they were actually saved by this little kid who somehow maneuvers better than any of them shouting out, "Now this is pod racing!" or the classic "Let's try spinning, thats a good trick!". Or how about firing those torpedoes and that disabled the entire controlship. How fragile and flimsy of the aliens that an internal implosion would destroy it. Granted that MIGHT have been its power source or whatever, WHY was it exposed near a docking bay full of ships that can shoot torpedoes? Was that the force guiding young Anakin? Give me a break. Last but not least, the android army. Giving them ranks was, um, for lack of better term retarded. I don't feel like going into why. I will say they are plainly cannon fodder. The Jedi are good, but not the way Qui and Obi displayed that they could disable 20 androids at once. How slow are they? Heaven forbid even in one scene during a heavy fight, an android had its back on Obi-Wan looking like a lost idiot. Any guesses what happens?
Star Wars doesn't deserve all the hype, and it shouldn't. The Box-Office says otherwise, but that's what hype gets you, refer to Mission Impossible II please. The accolades will show you what the film is made of. Sure it's full of neat scenery, great special effects, and an impressive score with one extremely annoying Parade song, but what is all that without good dialogue? Phantom Menace may as well be one of the greatest silence films of all time if you hit the Mute button.