The Phantom Bore

Rating: Null/10 (15 May 2002)

Uh oh, here comes another negative opinion of George lucas' efforts to add to one of the greatest trilogies of our time. How did it all go wrong?
Up until 1999, Star Wars stood as a monument of almost perfection. Although the films had their little flaws (name a film that doesn't) they were almost perfect in terms of entertainment. These films were what film was invented for. And along comes the most hyped and badly titled film that tries to latch itself onto these classics and fob itself off as one of the boys. Well, no. Lucas' reasons for making Episode 1 are pretty evident. Cash. And lots of it. Grossing almost a billion world wide, and god knows what off the merchandizing (remeber 'Darth Maul - The Monitor Dust cover!') the Star Wars name was used and abused. The acting is terrible for starters. When attacked by huge fish in the planet core, Liam Neeson simply looks stoned! In the original trilogy luke would be flapping, chewy would be howling and Han would be shouting at Leia for more thrust, but here, all is well, the force will guide us, worry not. Well what is the point then. And don't get me started on Binks! The special effects are rubbish as well. "What?!" I hear you cry. Yes, they are technically achieved, there is no doubt of that, but poorly implemented, and at that, over implemented. In the final battle there is SO much CG that it looks more reminisent of Toy Story or some other Disney film, with the over fluent movement making the scene look like a cartoon. Yes, George, you may be sending out a very impressive ILM technology demo, but puppets look better. Why? Becuase they ARE real, and no computer can match that. Computer grpahics will always be better when used only when needed, and slipped seamlessly into the real backdrops. Here, the entire backdrop is the seam. Its not all bad though. We all know the light sabre battle is fantastic as is Darth Maul. But for every Amazing duel, there is an annoying kid, for every speeding pod race, an infurating two headed commentator and for every Darth Maul, there's a Jar Jar binks. And to think, I've always been a HUGE star wars fan. I even denied disliking this movie for months afterwards. But what once was a perfect glass, now has a smudge across it. Well done George. Well done.