Howard! The! Duck!

Rating: Null/10 (25 August 2000)

A few things in this cinematic feast are a bit jarring, but the stuff that isn't at all new is brilliant; viewing it is a great ceremony. A lot of people would like to kill Jar Jar, but I'd much rather kill the critics who panned the film. You know... the ones who said, "THIS MOVIE IS BORING LIKE C-SPAN BECAUSE IT'S ALL ABOUT A TRADE DISPUTE AND IT'S NOT SEXY BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HAVE HAN SOLO IN IT !!!!!!!" Those critics are too stupid to appreciate George Lucas' subtle nuances. Hey, they said that Metalstorm lacked heart, too--umm, never mind about Metalstorm... Just imagine what goes on in George Lucas' mind! WOW!!