What movie were the critics watching?

Rating: Null/10 (21 May 1999)

Well, I've seen it twice now and I have to say that I am completely confused by what it was that the critics were watching. This film, although not the greatest work of cinema ever, is none the less much better in every way than the original three. I'll explain: I'm not even going to talk about the special effects, because that goes without saying. The interaction of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon is breath taking and extremely deep. Where we had mindless panic induced banter in the first three between Luke, Lea and Han we have two sober Jedi who move through this film much in the way that Kain moved through the original Kung-Fu series.
Jar-Jar, although he is a little much, is nowhere NEAR as irritating as the slew of Muppets in Jaba's palace, to say nothing of the Ewoks which are just a travesty. Darth Maul... I could have used a bit more of him, but he is just too fantastic for words. We haven't had a character as cool as this yet. The plot is very complicated and convoluted. Where in the first three we had, more or less, good guys vs. bad guys, here we have this intricate political thing that is somewhat confusing but much more interesting to try and follow. So what's left to criticize? That we don't have Harrison Ford to be snide and cool? Well, so it goes. I can't imagine missing Luke with his endless whining and I could take or leave Lea any day. This film is magnificent. The story is rich, detailed and interesting. The characters are developed to a MUCH greater extent than the characters in the first three. Before you jump out of your seat arguing this point, think back to the original Star Wars... try, if you can, to forget that you have seen three movies 50 times. Try to imagine that you only saw Star Wars and all you know of these three monkeys is what you saw in this one film. Now tell me, did they develop Han, Lea and Luke better than the people in this film? You see Han in about 2 scenes where you learn ANYTHING about him. The rest of the time he is running around and shooting his blaster (badly) at storm troopers). Luke whines a lot, but that's basically all we get to see of him and Obi-Wan is dead so quickly that all we know is that he's a wise Jedi guy from the old days. The only character that you can say is developed is Darth Vader (which makes sense, cause now we know that the whole set of films is about him). But to say that the original movie developed the characters better is just loony. Watch the movie again, for the "first time" and you will see how wrong you are.
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE the Star Wars trilogy. I think that Lucas is a brilliant man who has given us a brand new myth that we can call our own. It's rich and detailed and heart warming. I'm not bitching about the first three movies nor denigrating them. I'm just saying that it's preposterous to say that this film is "more for kids than..." or "doesn't develop the plot as much as..." or "is devoid of human interaction where the original three...". All of these type of comments are obviously being made by people who saw the original films when they were 8 and were hoping that this film would make them feel 8 again. But that's unrealistic. This film is of the same genre and pulled off better. Lucas is a genius and I am grateful to him and am now anxiously going to wait for the next two films.
GO SEE PHANTOM MENACE!!! NOW! go go go!