Episode I: The Star Wars that should never have been. And Now in ThreeD!

Rating: 1/10 (26 February 2012)

To quote William Hurt from David Cronenburg's "A History of Violence" - "How do you F# that Up?" Well, George Lucas? HOW DO YOU F# THAT UP? I just watched Harry Plinkett's step by step comprehensive video reviews of Eps 1-III. I've always known everything that Mr. Plinkett says, but there was never anyone who figured it out like he had.
When it comes down to it, they were MAKING SETS even before George Lucas had any story at all. It is like Lucas wanted to AD LIB these films. I realise that he wanted to tell the tale of how Ralph Nadir Skywalker became Darth Vader, but in doing so, he did EVERYTHING the movie companies wanted to do to him when he made Star Wars. Everything Wrong that is.
So, where Episode IV or, as I call it, "Star Wars" was a stroke of genius directing, writing, storytelling - Art that came from ADVERSITY... Episode I was the movie that Star Wars would have been had the studios gotten their way in 1977.
Now, unless you are less than 3 years old, this movie is NOT for you. If you like lots and lots of space ships, explosions, robots, gadgets, aliens, all saying nothing and doing nothing, then go for it.
If you watch the original - UN-SPECIAL-EDITIONED Star Wars, there are NO scenes where people are sitting on couches talking about their problems, being filmed from only 2 cameras.
Literally, these films go from BORING to TOO BUSY within seconds.
I admit, I needed help from Harry Plinkett to understand what a travesty these moovies are: If you don't believe me, go to RedLetterMedia and check it out!
As much as I rate "Star Wars Epidose I" a 1, I rate Mr. Plinkett's Review a 10. It took lot of guts to put Lucas on the Chopping Block.
Lucas needs to get back, somehow to his roots. He EATS too much. That's his problem, let him trade places with me, for a year: And then I'll guarantee you he can make a movie of quality.
Like he used to be able to do: American Graffitti and even his student film, THX-1138. They are not super high quality social statements like Cronenburg's A History of Violence, but they are good, pleasing, interesting moovies. But then Lucas made Star Wars on almost NO money.
If Episode I had been limited to a budget of say, 25 Milion bucks. The QUALITY may have been as good as his first SW moovie.
But instead, instead of solving problems caused by too much Hi Tech CGI crap, he kept shoving more and more munny into making scene after scene of nonsensical, non-interesting Kack.
Well... Lucas made Three Original SW Moovies that I loved. hey that's good for a lifetime of work, he don't need to DO any more.
George Luke-A$$: Please STOP Making Moovies!