"Phantom" plot and characters spell doom for the latest Star Wars epic

Rating: 6/10 (8 August 2000)

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a huge Star Wars fan, but the first three movies (or Episodes 4, 5 and 6, for you purists out there) were incredible and blew me away with terrific plots full of suspense and humor, not to mention memorable characters and awesome action sequences. What kept me from buying the box set was that I received it as a Christmas present. With all this in mind, I readily agreed to see this latest installment, expecting it to easily be the cream of the crop in terms of visual effects and storytelling.
However, when the end credits rolled, I hadn't experienced any of the above; instead what resulted was a rather empty `Is that it?' feeling. I fell into the exact same trap when I went to see `Independence Day' back in the summer of '96. Just like ID4, this was an incredibly overhyped movie which you force yourself to find any redeeming points in, trying to suppress the nagging feeling that you wasted your money. Oh well, with a lousy title like `The Phantom Menace,' I suppose I was doomed from the start.
And, yes, TPM did have some redeeming points, but, unfortunately, they're overshadowed - no, eclipsed - by a weak, uninspired plot, `been there, done that' special effects and drab characters.
As mildly simplistic as the first three plots were, there was something magical and thrilling about them that kept your eyes stuck to the screen for every frame. In TPM, the thin story about the Trade Federation vs. the citizens of Naboo was about as exciting as a minnow bucket, probably because it lost me far before the film was halfway through.
The characters lacked the spark, and were shadows of, their famous predecessors. Qui-Gon and the young Ben Kenobi (Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor) were adequate enough, but Anakin Skywalker (Jake Lloyd) and Jar Jar Binks - forget racism; people should have cried stupidity over this instead - grated on my nerves quickly. Many roles were wasted, most notably Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu, which probably translates to `One who sits and does nothing for all five minutes of his screen time.' Face it, these guys aren't exactly Princess Leia and Han Solo, folks.
But what really confused, not to mention bothered, the hell out of me was that Darth Maul (Ray Park), quite possibly the film's biggest cash cow (hell, he's on everything except pantyhose and Zippo lighters), has a grand total of 5-10 minutes on screen, before his inevitable dispatch in the end. Say what?!
Some scenes dragged horribly, such as Anakin's parting from his mother, his long conversation in what looked like a chop shop with Weebo - who looked like a fat, demonic bumblebee - and the early underwater scene with Jar Jar and his clan. Boredom resulted, and in huge portions. Queen Amidala's (Natalie Portman) emotion seemed to have been drowned out in all that white KISS-style face paint, though she does redeem herself somewhat by pulling double duty as Padme.
The visual effects were certainly nothing to write home about, save for the amazing podrace sequence and the jaw-dropping 3-way lightsaber dance at the end, the latter easily my (and millions of others', no doubt) favorite sequence in the whole movie. But, the film made its biggest impact on me when I was watching this spunky, innocent kid while realizing he's going to grow up and eventually become Darth Vader.
Overall, I think it's safe to say that George Lucas pretty much coasted on his reputation and the `Star Wars' name for this movie, as TPM is nothing more than an empty husk of what easily should have been. Then again, if I sat on my can for 15 years between SW films, I'd have probably produced a similar result. Needless to say, the jury will be out on #2, which will be released next year.
Sadly enough, save for the lightsaber fight, there isn't one memorable, historical sequence in TPM, which we all know ran aplenty in the first three. There are enough famous quotes and highlights from 4, 5 and 6 that could fill the Chrysler Building.
It's easy to get caught up in the moment when a `blockbuster' like this first hits theaters, but then you see the luster wear off and you're left with a feeling of disappointment. At the FAO Schwartz out here, nearly every bit of TPM merchandise - nearly a whole floor of the stuff - has been discounted pretty heavily. Ouch.
And to think some people actually camped out on the streets outside theaters in hopes of being the first to watch this. Really makes you wonder how most of them feel today about such a dubious feat. 6/10