why have I not been in a hurry to see it a second time?

Rating: 6/10 (29 May 2002)

A few observations about "SWE1:TPM":
1) The first 45 minutes or so had me restless: lots of talky backstory, much of it political! Fortunately, the pace picked up as the flick progressed.
2) The highly-touted pod race, while enjoyable, actually suffers in comparison to the hovercycle chase through the woods in "Jedi."
3) What a clothes horse Queen Amidala is! Different outfit, AND a radically different 'do, in every scene. It's almost as if her look changes every time she walks into another room. And how is it that Jedi Qui-Gon Jin, master of all things forceful, is unable to recognize the "disguised" Amidala just because she's changed into her handmaid's duds? Are we to believe that washing the Kabuki off her face makes her the Invisible Girl? Was there a twinkle in Qui-Gon's eye to indicate he wasn't buying this? Why have I never been interested enough to see the movie a second time and find out?
4) The humor is cutesy and self-conscious, but that's typical "Star Wars."
5) I'm puzzled by the revelation that 3PO was built by Anakin. The kid refers to him as a "protocol droid," as though to a known class or model of droid; and indeed, we've already seen a (female-voiced) similar droid serving the drinks on Naboo. So evidently the kid hasn't built him from scratch, but from scrap--or from a kit--the way a real-world whiz-kid would build, but not invent, a Chevy. (He must've found the software, too, since we learn, in the "later" episodes, that 3PO speaks 6 million languages. That's a bit much for a kid so young, Force or no Force.)
6) A total waste of Samuel L. Jackson. I understand we see more of Mace Windu in SWE2.
7) When the story finally gets to the thick of things, I like the way we had the good guys in serious trouble on four fronts--the battle between the Gungans and the droids; the attack on the control ship; the attempt to capture the Viceroy in charge of the invasion; and the fight with Darth Maul--only to have a sudden, simultaneous reversal take place. I'd been afraid we were in for a cliffhanger.
8) Still, it occurred to me as I watched the attack on the control ship: this was fresh in 1977; it's been done to death since then, in the "Star Wars" series and its imitators. I liked "Starship Troopers" better than this.
9) Darth Maul, while kinetic and dangerous (the swordplay choreography is VASTLY improved since '77), is otherwise underwritten: not a villain, but a thug; not so much evil as just p*ssed-off. He lacks the towering, calm, confident presence of Darth Vader, who stole the first movie just by showing up. Maul apparently isn't even considered by Lucas to be a character worth keeping in the series, unless we're in for a real medical miracle (I haven't seen SWE2 yet, so I don't know if he resurfaces). And I've never cared for his silly greasepaint job, which looks like an attempt at a computerized Maori tattoo, made worse by those cheesy glued-on horns.

10) And what can you say about Jake Lloyd as Boy Vader, other than: CAN'T ACT!!! He doesn't ruin the whole movie... just those scenes in which he opens his mouth. It looks like Lucas, up to his armpits in CGI and ILM work, picked up his daily planner and penciled in a 20-minute slot on Thursday afternoon labeled: "Hire kid." I disliked "Mannequin" Skywalker FAR worse than I disliked... you-know-who.