How to destroy a classic

Rating: 4/10 (24 December 2001)

It isn't very often that a truly original movie comes along but Star Wars was considered such a movie in its day. Usually such a movie has a sequel and, since it can't possibly be as original as the predecessor on which it is based, critics and audiences are disappointed. Sometimes a sequel is so bad that we question how good the original really was. Star Wars: Episode I was the sequel that began this process for me.
The original Star Wars (now Episode IV) was basically the classic medieval story of the damsel in distress (Princess Leia) locked in the impenetrable fortress of the enemy (the Death Star), but the "droids", living robots with personalities and even neurotic paranoias, had only previously been introduced to us by the likes of Isaac Asimov. The Empire Strikes Back was vastly superior and was the height of Lucas' saga. The urge to sell out was apparently too great by the time the Return of the Jedi was written. The furry little ewoks were obviously designed to market Star Wars to children and led to an animated series. That could have been ignored if The Phantom Menace had not sunk so much lower.
I'll ignore the billions of dollars of merchandise that the market was flooded with and judge this movie on its own merit. Let's face it, everyone hates Jar Jar Binks. Why is he in the movie? To sell the movie to kids. This movie is an insult to an adult's intelligence. The hero is a small boy who wins a long, pointless "pod race" (to sell a video game) and saves the day by accident. Jar Jar Binks is a klutz who somehow becomes a war hero as a result of his blundering idiocy. There is even a scientific (blood) test to measure one's connection to the spiritual "Force", the Brahman essence of everything. Apparently Lucas felt it necessary to dumb that concept down for us.
The saddest thing is that the original trilogy was very popular with children even before the ewoks were introduced. This a long overlooked truth that Hollywood producers would do well to learn: children will watch movies written for adults but adults won't watch movies aimed at children. A grown-up version of this movie would have brought in as many kids, but this infantile production only leaves parents wondering when the movie will be over. After suffering through this uninspired motion picture, you can be excused if you find yourself wondering if the original trilogy was really any good in the first place.