Phantom Nonsense

Rating: 4/10 (27 May 1999)

When I entered the theater last weekend, I was angry with the media and film critics everywhere. Why were they treating this film so poorly? I decided to cast their feelings aside, and not let the naysayers of the world, who I felt were just trying to pick apart George Lucas, ruin it for me. Sadly, they didn't have to. The film took care of that all by itself.
Jar Jar Binks. Ugh. A completely CGI character who we never get a real break from onscreen. His introduction comes way too soon, in a scene that is unnecessary, and ultimately seems forced. McGregor and Neeson, the main Jedis, seem detached and bored during their interaction with this ill-conceived character. To add insult to injury, Binks speaks as if he were a neighbor of Brer Fox or Brer Rabbit. This made me more than a little uncomfortable with him, from the very first line of dialogue he spit forth, to the last unintelligible muttering for all to decipher.
I realize the point of Binks was to provide comic relief, but what about the more serious and stronger moving plot one is used to in this film series? A trade dispute? Yawn. I'm still asking myself why the more subtle (and exponentially more interesting) plot points weren't developed more in-depth; leading me to ask why this film was titled "The Phantom Menace" in the first place. The actual "phantom menace" is revealed, but the idea, sadly, isn't taken anywhere. One can assume that will unfold in EP. 2 or 3, but this film lacks the depth that this plot point could have provided. With all it's comic relief, CGI animation, and lack of a thoughtful plot, at times I wondered if this film was conceived by George Lucas or Walt Disney.
And let's not forget the dated material in this film! The visually incredible pod race scene is almost ruined by a character that sounds like your typical 20th century NASCAR announcer. That I could overlook. Including fart jokes later in the film however is intolerable. I don't think I'll ever fully understand the intended purpose of that.
And what about Darth Maul, the evil Sith Lord in this installment? Good question; what about him? Severely underutilized, and gone just when you're getting to enjoy his dark element, he goes down as just another thing that could have been better about this picture. He was an ace with the light saber when we did see him, but we didn't see him nearly enough.
Speaking of light sabers, I'm curious how the proposed six films will appear back to back once completed. In the middle trilogy, light saber battles were far and few between. They were somewhat contained, although enjoyable to watch. In EP. 1 the battles are incredible to watch, but they may be a bit too over the top. At times I wondered if Jackie Chan had been called in for a stunt double. Flips, rolls, huge leaps and the like were not uncommon. These were some of the best action scenes of the film, but how will they compare to the middle trilogy down the road? I think it will appear that Jedi's have adopted a lazier fighting style, and the original battles from EPS. 4, 5, and 6 will appear boring, and ill conceived.
The final war scenes are a treat for the eyes when we got to see the amazing CGI army of robots. However, they are fighting an entire race of Jar Jars, and at this point I had already seen and heard more Jar Jar Binks than I could stomach. I quickly found myself "turning to the dark side", and hoping that Binks would perish quickly. I wasn't so lucky.
It would take hours for me to list every possible pang this film caused me, so I'll go quietly leaving this: The main problem with this film is that the original feeling of honor and nobility associated with the characters and story from the first trilogy is nowhere to be found in Episode One. Had this been the first film released in the series, I feel strongly that Star Wars the film series, Star Wars the entity, and Star Wars the marketing machine would not possibly be alive today.