consider drinking heavily beforehand

Rating: 5/10 (31 January 2004)

while this movie didn't quite elicit the guffaws of Episode II, I think it's pretty safe to say that Mr. Lucas can no longer be trusted with the Star Wars empire. The script was positively wretched: "I'm not a slave, I'm a person, and my name is Anakin!" Is he serious? Lucas should remember the lesson he learned when he was producing the first round of Star Wars--things turn out better when you work with a script writer. Look how wonderful "The Empire Strikes Back" was? Now that Mr. Peter Jackson has shown us what can be done with fantasy, Lucas is going to have to put his nose to the grind stone if he wants to catch up.