Worst movie I've seen in my entire life. Period.

Rating: 4/10 (6 June 2000)

Why?
When I was 3 years old, I had the immense privilege of attending a real cinema. To watch "Star Wars". I might have seen a lot of movies before (the Disney classics), but one thing is for certain: I don't remember anything about them. But I remember where I went to see Star Wars. I remember the little space ships hanging from the ceiling. I remember standing in line for hours. And being amazed by this story which I was not yet old enough to understand. The same rush happens when I watch Star Wars at home today. I certainly believe I have seen that movie more than 100 times in my lifetime; and I think that it is and will be my favorite movie forever.
Sadly, I only saw "Phantom Menace" once. I did buy the videocassette (VHS in these days of DVD? Give me a break, Lucas!), and never watched it. The movie is just too boring, too slow, too dumb, too vain to be called Star Wars. I waited to see this movie for a long time. I actually went to the 3:00 AM screening the day it came out. And, oh boy, what a disappointment it was.
I don't know where to start. The first one had Luke, the naive but likeable hero; Princess Leia, a nice (not gorgeous, but nice) leading lady; Han Solo, played to perfection by Harrison Ford, and the granddaddy of all baddies, the one and only Darth Vader. The new one has an irritating kid that can only yell "Yippie!" every now and then, a princess who cannot move due to her customes, a lifeless Obi-Wan, who spends most of the time looking worried and speechless, a boring Qui-whatever (Liam Neeson in Star Wars?!?!), and the worst character ever to grace a movie screen: Jar Jar Binks. Makes me think the Ewoks deserved an Oscar for Best Performance. Even the bad guy looks like a circus clown with nice moves. Please!!!
The magic is gone. I sure wish Lucas packed his bags and went home to develop a new THX system, or to give more money to his special effects team. Those are his strengths. But his weaknesses (poor storytelling, dumb plot as full of holes as a swiss cheese and wooden acting) show up all through this boring and lifeless movie.
The only thing that saves it is the Pod race. And watching Jabba the Hut. Other than that, it's the worst movie I have ever seen in my life, just because it dared to call itself "Star Wars". Maybe if it had gotten any other title, I would have been more benevolent (Howard the Duck II, perhaps? =)
Caveat emptor.