Star Wars Episode I - The Phantom Malaise

Rating: Null/10 (5 April 2008)

Is it any coincidence that Alec Guinness died within one year of this film being released? The film is based on cheesy CGI images that are cartoonish and empty.
Natalie Portman, Jake Lloyd, and even Liam Neeson provided "wooden board" performances of a trite script. Yes, Mark Hamill was annoying in TNH, but nothing compared to this. This film shows the problems that arise when a child actor in a dramatic role. I can't wait to see Jake Lloyd serving fast food at McDonald's.
This film isn't worthy to sit on the same shelf as other films, let alone the previous Star Wars features. It belongs in a 99cent barrel at Walmart. A VHS of this film could work well as a blank tape to record Survivor on.
A prior reviewer said that this film is the worst since "Plan 9 from Outer Space". I think that is a serious insult to Ed Wood. Watch these films back to back and compare. I'd rather watch the cardboard gravestones falling, and day and night interchanging mysteriously than the "Pod Race", or Anakin and Qui-Gon repeating trivial nonsense and making obvious, redundant statements.