It's not Star Trek

Rating: 6/10 (12 January 2014)

Mickey from Doctor Who blows himself up killing a lot of innocent people and jeopardizing the safety of The Earth, and the Federation, just to save the life of his daughter. Did he talk this through with his partner? Sherlock Holmes appears looking enigmatic. Kirk and Co ignore the prime directive and rightly get the sack. Sherlock Holmes appears again - this time as a homicidal maniac. Pike dies. Kirk and Co reinstated for a 'secret' mission. Scotty quits and the Enterprise promptly breaks down. Kirk and Co captured by a bunch of random Klingons armed with bat'leths. Sherlock Holmes appears again but is now Arnold Schwarzenegger and kills all the Klingons. Do edged weapons really have a place in 23rd century close quarter battle? Do Klingons know something the SAS do not? Sherlock Holmes surrenders and pretends to be Khan Noonien Singh - not one of his better disguises. Crazy admiral appears in a big black badass Enterprise. Crazy Admiral tries to kill everyone but is stopped by Scotty!?! Holmes/Arnie/Khan kills crazy admiral. Kirk and Co destroy badass Enterprise which crashes into San Francisco. Kirk dies. Hurray! No more sequels. Holmes/Arnie/Khan walks away from the crash, so it was actually a good landing. Spock and Uhura capture Holmes/Arnie/Khan. Kirk resurrected. Boo! More sequels. Kirk commended for wrecking the Enterprise (again), destroying a valuable spaceship, destroying San Francisco, killing thousands of people, and starting a war with the Klingon empire. It's Star Trek, Jim, but not as we know it.