Star Cheque: Into Blackness

Rating: 4/10 (30 July 2013)

Into Darkness has probably bagged more cash than a small European economy in the last few weeks - for that reason alone it deserves a mention. Forget the positive reviews here. If you know or care anything about Star Trek, then this movie is simply so disconnected from its roots that, it frankly beggars belief. Yes, JJ Abrahms has unleashed another Hollywood behemoth to follow up his triumphant 2009 outing sure to please the investors, but Trekkie's will, no doubt, be in mourning. The latest outing for the crew of the USS Enterprise is a grinding disappointment - all crash and bang - amounting to little more than "Tranformers" with . . er. . . klingons in the form of the odd the snippy script line, occasionally decent dialogue, less than usual levels of predictability (only just) and a Leonard Nimoy cameo akin to a Vincent Price come back. Jr Spock gets into a mind altering and character obliterating fisty cuffs with bad-ass Khan (decently played by Benedict Cumberbatch) before shedding buckets of unVulcan tears over his Captain's dying body (the side effect of kicking a nuclear core back into action - don't you know). But, by the time Kirk is (inevitably) revived from his deathly irradiation (sorry did I just give away the screamingly obvious?) by Karl Urban's unacceptably cheesy McCoy - Trekkies everywhere will be wailing too, not least at things like Chris Pine's appallingly pink lipstick and Uhuru's (Zoe Saldana) cringeworthy bust up with "Pointy" (Zachary Quinto!). To be fair though, as action movies go - this is Abrahms at his dollar raking best smashing and crashing and exploding. It is just that as Star Trek movies go - well - this is a travesty. I'm writing the next installment myself. Needs must . . . Bad Robot - take note