Star Trek: Into the Sewer

Rating: 1/10 (3 September 2014)

Chase, explosion, chase, explosion, wink, nod, chase, explosion. The characters are two-dimensional cut-outs. The writing is daft. For hardcore Trek fans, the film tramples on series canon. Suddenly Kirk doesn't discover Khan in deep space on his ship, the Botany Bay. Suddenly Christopher Pike was never horrifically disfigured in a freak training accident, and he never returns to Talos. If you are doing a film in a hallowed series, you have a responsibility to research that series, honor what has come before, and extend its tradition of excellence. This film utterly fails to do any of that.
J.J. Abrams is not a director, he's an event planner--for five year old birthday parties. I shudder to think what he will do to Star Wars and only hope Kathleen Kennedy wrangles him in a more sophisticated direction.