Plot holes, terrible dialogue, and Star Trek in name only

Rating: 2/10 (20 June 2013)

I was the only person in the theater so I was able to take notes in my phone about what was excreted off the screen in real-time.
What were Spock and Kirk doing on that planet being chased by indigenous people? What were they stealing, and why?
Where is the civilian leadership on Earth? They never appear.
Why did Khan attack the meeting in his helicopter with machine guns rather than, say, missiles, which would have been more lethal? Related, why was the emergency meeting held above-ground in a room with floor-to-ceiling windows rather than in a secure location? How convenient for Khan (and the writers!).
It's impossible to beam someone from Earth to Kronos, it's simply too long a distance. It's not even possible to do this far into the future when TNG takes place. Ah, but so convenient to move the story along.
After Scotty resigned, why wasn't another engineer promoted to Chief engineer? Surely he and his little alien friend weren't the only two engineers aboard the Enterprise. But it's awfully convenient for giving Chekov something to do in this film.
Kirk, who was orbiting Kronos, was able to call up Scotty's mobile device when Scotty was in a bar on Earth. Apparently the Enterprise had communications, so then why didn't Kirk contact anyone and everyone at Starfleet to inform them of his situation?
We are supposed to believe that Scotty is able to fly right up to an ultra top-secret hangar without being detected? How is a person with a normally functioning brain supposed to accept this? I understand that it's sci-fi, but there is still common sense in the Star Trek universe that must be contended with.
The Enterprise seems to return to Earth from Kronos in about 10 minutes. It takes 4 days at warp 4 to cover this distance, as established in "Enterprise" episode "Broken Bow" (and no "reset" of the Star Trek universe can change that, thank you very much). Related, when the Enterprise is attacked it suddenly drops out of warp right next to Earth? How...-- there's that word again -- convenient.
Lastly, the dialogue was atrocious and grating. "Goes south." "Epic." "Ass handed" to him. It is the slang of our time, sure, but it won't be far into the future. In TNG no one said things were "cool" and in TOS we never heard "groovy." The writers of those series understood that to use such slang terms would yank the audience out of the story, which is set in the distant future.
I believe an explanation for the above flaws and others is that this film is Star Trek in name only. Everything about this film is meant to make it a box-office hit, to make it popular with large audiences. Star Trek has never been able to accomplish this before because at its best Star Trek doesn't pander to the masses. Think of what are often considered the best TNG episodes, such as "The Inner Light" and "The Measure of a Man." These episodes offer sci-fi storytelling with no explosions, no action set-pieces, and no lowest-common-denominator dialogue. Instead, these episodes are thoughtful explorations of what it means to be human and as a result they touch people as the best Star Trek often does. This film and its predecessor are grotesque distortions of Star Trek, and I'm glad Gene Roddenberry can't see what a monstrosity his creation has been twisted into for the sake of popularity.