J'accuse! The People vs. J. J. Abrams

Rating: 1/10 (22 August 2011)

On May 8th, 1988, Robert Heinlein died of natural causes.
On May 8th, 2009, Star Trek was murdered in the 1st degree.
I charge that J. J. Abrams, (who has previously testified that he preferred the childish eye-candy of Star Wars to the comparatively intellectual Star Trek) did, with premeditation and malice, kill the franchise of Star Trek.
I won't go over all the evidence which has already been presented by the thousands of witnesses here, that is a matter of record. I won't try to dispute the hundreds of perjurers that have knowingly lied in this forum about the quality and intent of this so-called film-maker. The evidence is clear.
I can only ask the jury to come to the conclusion of guilt, and ask for the highest penalty: death. I, personally, would inflict him with a slow but steady case of incurable testicular cancer, but for a film-maker, a low box office is death. Never, ever, EVER attend another film or tune in another show that this evil killer has touched. Write letters, send e-mails, march in the streets whenever this bloodthirsty slayer appears. Drive him to the purgatory of direct-to-video, nevermore to be seen in Hollywood.
I rest my case.