Dumbed down Trek

Rating: 5/10 (17 May 2009)

It wasn't until I was sorting through my feelings about the new Star Trek film that I realized how much I actually did care about and enjoy the Trek universe. Star Trek is something my dad loved and so as a kid I tried to love, too. The original show never did much for me as the bad sets, pacing, and dated look of it all kept me at a distance. But in the flashier, bigger-budgeted movies, I found a Star Trek my father and I could both enjoy. Star Trek II and VI are great movies and there are bits in all the rest that I like.
It was "Star Trek: The Next Generation", however, that I really loved--still do--and it made me a lifelong appreciator of the Trek films and shows. The acting was much improved, the special effects pretty good, and the science fiction concepts often fascinating but palatable. I do not consider the Star Trek universe perfect in its entirety--some of the movies are horrible--but I do have a basic grasp of Trek-ness. And JJ Abrams dumps much of what makes Trek tick and delivers a big, fast moving cartoon of a film. As promised, this is not your father's Star Trek.
It's also not very good. The script is an arbitrary mish-mash of sci-fi-ish ideas that allows Abrams to rejigger the Trek-verse however he sees fit. Fair enough. Star Trek has just as many bad entries as good so it's hardly an unassailable canon. But even the worst Trek is usually built around a solid, sometimes tired, sci-fi idea. What does it mean to be human? What is intelligence? Does God exist? Who is God? Should we play God? The new Star Trek pays lip service to some of these themes, but the script mostly moves us from one action set piece to another. It's serviceable and explosion-y, but very typical summer fare. Loud and dumb.
The constant silliness of the film was also a disappointment. The captain's hands swell to enormous size due to allergies. The ship's engineer experiences an Augustus Gloop-esquire ride through the ship's water system. An Ewok type figure offers reaction shots to the constant space shenanigans. All this leads to a film that is more "Galaxy Quest"--an actually not anywhere near as good as "Galaxy Quest"--than Star Trek. And the action scenes while big and fast left me cold.
There's worse ways to spend a hot summer night than "Star Trek", but far better ways, too.