A non-whining fanboy speaks out

Rating: 7/10 (9 May 2009)

A $9 movie. (I like to rate a movie by how much I would have wanted to spend to see it, not some arbitrary scale.)
It will fit nicely on the shelf between Starship Troopers and Wing Commander.
I'm what one might call a Star Trek fanboy, I watched the original series religiously, I enjoyed The Motion Picture, I even have two editions of the FASA game (because shuttles don't carry phasers Task Force!).
This new movie was entertaining (not so much as Shoot Em Up or Crank, but more so than Transporter 2 or Treks 3,5,6,7,8,9 and 10). My main criticism about its entertainment value was that it did seem to rely very heavily on physical violence (lots of explosions and fisticuffs) and less on mental violence (when do the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many?).
It seems that the script was written fairly shallow and the pretty explosions were there to try to hide that. Still, this is forgivable considering the shallowness of society in general and perhaps its a very deliberate comment on the qualities of society - a comment on how decades ago we were entertained by challenges to how we thought about the world and perceived those around us that were different but now all we need are some pretty baubles and we're very happily distracted from having to think.
Still it was entertaining.
The actors chosen did a remarkable job fitting themselves into roles that had been so well worn over time. They were able to breathe life into the familiar, even stale, concepts and gave them a more vibrant life than they've had since the original series aired.
Incidentally the only character that isn't played the same way is done so because of the actor's own conceit and yet it plays very deliberately into the plot device that powers the movie. Kirk acts differently because his life IS different.
So that introduces the plot device. Many have complained about time travel being overused and contrived but its a device that works and should be accepted because it carries with it an accepted logic.
Which brings us to the continuity problems and changes in canon that have little to be explained by the changes caused by time traveling vengeful Romulans and the death of two Star Fleet captains (George Kirk and Robau) and the destruction of one Star Fleet vessel (the Kelvin).
How did the loss of those two lives and that one ship explain: -the adoption of hand phasers 4 years early? -the design changes of the Constitution Class vessels (of which Enterprise was one) -character ages being changed (Chekov was born earlier, Spock was born later and I'm pretty sure Kirk was supposed to be entering the Academy when Pike was taking the Enterprise out for its first 5 year mission so he was born at least 3 years early, although perhaps the Enterprise was commissioned 3 years later than in canon
The only conceivable explanation that I can think of is that Star Fleet spent so much money searching for the Narada that the construction and commissioning of the Enterprise was pushed back 5 years. That's the only thing that makes sense and yet it wasn't brought up in the movie. A little aside like "We're finally getting her launched." would have explained it.
Of course it doesn't help explain why the engineering deck of the enterprise has so many huge pipes all of a sudden. It doesn't explain why the bridge has so many breakables, protrusions and a big freaking window. It also doesn't explain why Star Fleet is equipping its Heavy Cruisers with the power controls from a 25 foot inboard Bayliner.
I'm sure Michael Bay (sorry JJ Abrams) could explain those, but I doubt he cares, really, I wouldn't.