Making Myths of the Mundane

Rating: 6/10 (17 May 2009)

'Star Trek' is boring. From the first series through to the last chapter in the saga. It is dialogue heavy, it refers to itself, there are published manuals on the technical rules and regulations of the Federation. It is about heroes who are paid to be just that. You are watching Kirk do his job, Spock do his job. Picard doing his job. It is about chores and was invariably a diversion or a chore to watch.
'Star Wars' is myth, fantasy - Perseus with lazer swords, King ARthur with hovering landspeeders and weird creatures.
This is why J.J. Abrams can be accused of cheating. He has attempted to place the Arthur story, the Hero's Journey, onto Kirk and the Enterprise, revisionist storytelling that should be as offensive to 'Star Trek' fans as it is to 'Star Wars' fans.
The new film is damned exciting in places, but Eric Bana's brooding rogue Romulan could have been lifted from 'Star Trek: Nemesis'. Spock was never as petulant as Skywalker, Kirk was never as cool as Han - so the new producers and directors have cheated and grafted those personas onto them. Uhura is Leia, Old Spock is Yoda/Ben Kenobi and the chop-n-shoot style of seventies' Lucas is imported. Even the scramble for the shuttles is straight out of 'Jedi'.
You can't cheat - 'Star Trek' fans, you all know Trek is not and should not be as engaging as this - Abrams has ripped up your classic characters and started again so he can make this appeal - which should also offend. 'Star Wars' fans, by turns, should accept not this pretender to the throne. Abrams should have made his own space epic and he was a fool not to.
If Karl Urban is not at least nominated for a Best Supporting actor Oscar, however, I am never watching the Academy Awards again. May you live long and the force be prosperous.