6 reasons not to watch Start Trek

Rating: 1/10 (19 June 2009)

1. Not enough lens flare effect.
2. I wanted to go to the bathroom and shave every time I saw the dude from every Gillette Ad made in the last 20 years, I mean James T. Kirk.. same thing.
3. Not enough time traveling. Time travel is the highest form of storytelling. It's like intelligent design.
4. All the people that like this movie own an Iphone.
5. It feels like your brain is being ass raped through your eyes, without the courtesy of a reach around.
6. The complex plot can only be rivaled by the excellent writing behind the Peter and Jane saga.