You must be delusional to think this good

Rating: 6/10 (10 May 2009)

NO SPILERS YET:
Some people on the first page of comments say this film is full of character development and has a fantastic story .. they are either mad or were paid to spread hype.
But I'm actually recommending this movie: it is a masterpiece of modern stupidity in film-making. If you define stupidity as something that makes you WIN LESS MONEY, this film is actually VERY CLEVER as it draws in the 80% simian population. A huge success. Or is it just because of the title? Smart stuff either way.
Most insulting is the famous quote spoken by old Spock at the end: "These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise.. its continuing mission, to seek out new life FORMS and new civilizations" .. I mean.. what the hell.. that's not at all the spirit of what I've seen. How old Leonard Nimoy wants to go down in such junk.. much like a few other great actors lately.
There are two EXCELLENT aspects of this movie: the CGI and WOMEN (there's really only Uhura and an episodic one). They look FABULOUS. Unfortunately, the women part isn't large enough. If it had taken 50% of runtime instead of 3%, as sex scenes, then I would vote this film an 8. CGI enhanced women - I want more of it !
SPOILERS AHEAD:
Getting started, the captain and crew are so stupid that they don't retreat to a safe distance before the "monster" jumps out of the portal. I am awed that their ship is largely disabled with the first volley but then takes ages to suffer more damage. Or that it could stand up for so long against a much larger, much more advanced ship. I find it bad that our vessel doesn't ram at warp and does so at impulse.. maybe I wasn't paying attention to something being disabled.
There is little room for aesthetics during this time of rush, but I find it displeasing. At the end of it we hear a pompous melody and the trek badge with "Star Trek" rolling massively in front of our eyes.. not a promising Star Trek kind of thing. Yet, the acting captain's sacrifice back there is possibly the best part of the film.
We find that as a boy Kirk was a delinquent and that Spock was being fed resentment by vulcan bullies: the whole concept of an enlightened Federation is trashed throughout the film and is replaced by contemporary style and attitudes. The most important part of the Star Trek universe was the idea of the enlightened world, at which this film never makes any attempt but then hypocritically ends with "the voyages" quote.
Later in life, Jim grows to be a punk, doesn't have any kind of common sense or diplomacy, and gets beaten up in a bar for being a jerk. The real Jim never lost a fight, was genuinely smart and rarely got hit. "Teen guy" also has club-boy sex with Uhura's room-mate and makes an ass of himself over again.. the entire scene of which looks great but is retarded. The real Jim was a genius and a formidable charmer. This guy is just a playboy living up to contemporary standards of idiocy.
Spock being romantically involved with Uhura is another attempt at drawing interest, awkwardly timed, and he makes a lousy job with lines of his "logic", the kind of which have never been worse done or placed. Her lines are almost as pathetic and shameless to what is happening.
They don't make any attempt to get the "entering a black hole going back in time" plausible.
They hand the prize ship to a bunch of teens. Spock is logical until he is stupid. The union of the TOS crew is ridiculously convenient and cheesy.
They place a Nokia in-movie advertisement during the car scene.
When suffering from a gravity well, the ultra-strong ship alloys begin to crack but the gravity generators still work and the people are fine.
The Enterprise turns in front of the black hole, then they say they're at warp and but can't pull out. Adding to that, THEN.. they blow something up behind which makes their greater-than-lightspeed speed even speedier, enough to pull out.
The nemesis is called Nero. NERO !!! Some first-pagers say he's great and needed even more development on-screen!
Kirk jumps off a platform and falls chest-only on another, having fallen 15 meters. He's not jedi, my guess is he broke all his ribs, crushed his lungs and heart, but Q must have pulled one of his tricks again.. the teen gets up and moving. Don't try this at home.
They send only two people, Jim and Spock (highest ranked) on a critical commando mission, instead of sending half the crew at whatever rate the transporter could. The two are rambos.
Conveniently, Checkov lets Spock's mother slip when the cliff falls. The accuracy of the transporter varies chaotically throughout the film.
I'm also annoyed they imploded Vulcan just to satisfy the cheering crowd. They have to go back in time and fix it.
Most of all, I was stupefied by simians seated around me laughing heartedly at the "The world's dying, I love potatoes" cockiness / jokes which are spread throughout. Completely out of context, completely miserable by themselves. The whole film is an incoherent piece of junk. Oh, did I mention the music is all pompous and completely out of sync? I already have.
6 = 2 + 3 CGI + 1 for CGI improved WOMEN !!
I once "heard" Kirk say "I must have jumped that 50 times.. scared the hell of me, each time.. except this time.. cause it isn't real." My guess is that kind of depth and the old days of real Star Trek are long gone.