Beam me out (of this movie theater where the new Star Trek movie is playing), Scotty!

Rating: 3/10 (11 May 2009)

For all those who are under 18 and this is their first exposure to the Star Trek saga, I urge you to see the greatest Star Trek movie of them all: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. "Khan" is the standard on which all Star Trek movies and episodes must be measured against. The writers of the new 'Star Trek' movie claim that their inspiration was the 'Wrath of Khan' and would like to think that their new 'update' is equal to the earlier masterpiece. Unfortunately I must report that the new 'Star Trek' is nowhere close to Star Trek II. Quite the contrary, it is a pathetic mess of a screenplay and until you see 'The Wrath of Khan', you cannot understand what I'm talking about.
The new 'Star Trek' attempts to re-imagine the characters from the original TV series when they were young, just beginning their careers. The casting director did well to choose actors who bore a resemblance to the original cast. The writers claim in interviews that they aimed to fill in the back story of the characters by detailing their past histories before, during and right after their initiation at Starfleet Academy as Federation officers. But in actuality, they do the opposite. Take Dr. McCoy, the idiosyncratic chief medical officer—the actor who plays him looks a lot like a young DeForrest Kelley (the original 'Bones') but the comparison ends there. Bones is hardly integrated into the story at all. He doesn't have the humor of the original character nor is there enough of the idiosyncratic charm. In the new 'Star Trek', the character is reduced to a buffoon, chasing Kirk around the ship, trying to inject him with a hypodermic. This is the only time we get to know anything about him.
Now take Uhura. In the original, she was the cool, consummate professional, always guiding the Enterprise through tough waters by way of her technical expertise. Here she is the opposite: unprofessional and overemotional. I was embarrassed when she tries to kiss Spock numerous times in the turbolift after the planet Vulcan was destroyed. Here Spock is trying to cope with the annihilation of six million of his people and all Uhura wants to do is make out! You call that class??? And what about Chekov? All they have the character do is mimic the Russian accent of the original character. How did they make him different or improve on the original? Even worse is Sulu. All he gets to do is parachute down to what looks like the platform of an oil rig where he aids Kirk in a ridiculous fight against some bad guys. I thought Scotty had the most potential of the supporting players. At least he projected the good nature of the original character but it was kind of disappointing when he must rely on Leonard Nimoy (the old Spock) to give him the new warp speed formula.
The new James T. Kirk looks like a young William Shatner but he too lacks the charm of the original. More could have done with Kirk's early days on Earth especially in showing how the future might look. I liked the cop on the flying motorcycle but a peek at a future 'watering hole' seemed quite derivative (check out the first Star Wars where Harrison Ford struts through the intergalactic bar). Depicting Kirk as a rebellious hothead seems part of the original Star Trek lore, but the humor is missing.
The new Spock doesn't at all measure up to the old Spock. The early scene where a very young Spock confronts a group of Vulcan 'bullies' was cute but after that it was all downhill. The problem is that the Kirk-Spock relationship is too heavy-handed. It's one thing to show conflict between the two but when they come to blows, it just seemed so un-Spocklike. Contrast that with Spock's decision to disobey Kirk's command at the end of the "Wrath of Khan". Kirk and Spock are noble characters and somehow the conflict between them seems juvenile and trivial. Or maybe it was a matter of the plot where the stakes weren't high enough. The writers simply did not give the characters an opportunity to display the complexity of the relationship.
Perhaps the worst part of the new Star Trek is the depiction of the villain, the disaffected Nero. I seem to recall that by Star Trek: Next Generation, the Romulans had become a group of worthy adversaries to the denizens of the Federation. But here, the last Romulan, Nero, is a bald guy with tattoos plastered all over his head. All he can do is snarl throughout the movie. Contrast that with Ricardo Montalban's performance as Khan. Again, no comparison! Plotwise, the new Star Trek wasn't clever at all. Beginning with the unnecessary flashback to the tale of Kirk's father's heroism, we're treated to one tired battle scene after another. What's worse is that the film's writers have created a new alternative Star Trek universe. Can you imagine the entire planet of Vulcan being destroyed in any of the earlier movies or episodes? It would never happen. Hey Vulcan is supposed to be populated with some of the smartest guys in the universe and they let themselves be annihilated by a Romulan who looks like a skinhead using a drilling machine that creates black holes!
It was nice seeing Leonard Nimoy reprising the role of the original Spock but I was sad to see just how much the actor has aged. Contrary to all the hype, the new Star Trek lacks the charm, humor and complexity of the some of the earlier incarnations. Go back and check out Wrath of Khan and some of the best of the Star Trek episodes from television. If they decide to make a second 'new' Star Trek, hopefully the studio will hire a group of better writers.