Completely Devoid of Intelligence

Rating: 1/10 (20 May 2009)

This is, quite simply, one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Everything about it, from script to direction to cinematography, is completely devoid of intelligence. They've replaced any sort of thoughtfulness or care with lasers, shaky-cam, and LENS FLARE.
What little story there is, is rife with unbelievable decision-making on the part of the characters, leading to nigh-impossible coincidences. Spock, for instance, makes a decision that is tantamount to attempted murder, for no real good reason.
Don't even bother trying to understand anything as simple as spacial relationships in this movie. It's impossible. But who cares, right? LASERS! LENS FLARE! The villain's ship is ridiculous, appearing like a giant space squid, and despite being a "mining vessel," is more heavily armed than the Death Star.
And then the cast. Karl Urban and Simon Pegg are respectable, but more like caricatures of McCoy and Scotty than real interpretations. They're like watching a Saturday Night Live skit, but they are far, far better than Zach Quinto and, especially, Chris Pine. Spock and Kirk are complete, for lack of a better term, douchebags now. Kirk especially misses the mark, going from studious, devoted Starfleet officer to TEEN REBEL.
The score is terrible, certainly not up to the standards of Jerry Goldsmith or James Horner. When the theme from the original series kicks in over the end credits, it feels totally out of place.
I cannot comprehend how anybody could rate this movie highly. It is possible to do action intelligently! Die Hard, or Total Recall, or Raiders of the Lost Ark, for example. But this, this is an insult to anybody looking for a modicum of thoughtfulness at any stage of production.
Oh, and they made the Orion slave girl look like an Oompa Loompa.