A Steaming Pile

Rating: 1/10 (30 October 2009)

Didn't see the trailer, had heard no comments, had no idea what to expect other than the name was "Star Trek".
I thought the character introductions were really weak and far-fetched. Kirk and the entire main cast for the series just happen to meet up in the span of two days as kids and junior officers? The plot was just plain weak, merely a setup for the gang to get together, and would someone please, please, tell their friends in Hollywood that, if you're going to make a mega movie, the least you can do is hire a high school kid for technical direction, since it seems that no one in L.A. has passed 4th grade science. Okay, things like warp drive and transporters, that's okay, they're future inventions and we don't need to know how they work. But how the hell do you bore a 100 yard wide hole to the core of a planet? There's a reason planets are round, this hole would've filled in the second their ray gun stopped! Special effects were cool, but these days, all special effects are cool.
The biggest insult to my intelligence, though, was the military aspect of this show. Star Fleet is basically the navy in space, and a starship is the fleets capitol ship. Imagine a midshipman stowing away on an aircraft carrier, only to be named XO by the captain, ahead of many other seasoned officers already aboard ship. Yup, that happens. Saves The Federation, and is named Captain of the Enterprise with his handpicked crew of twenty year olds. Sure, you betcha. This is an insult to the intelligence to anyone who's ever served in the military, but wait... Oh, it's an alternate reality, not the same universe as the 'real' Star Trekkies, so it can be re-written however it pleases the non-military and non-scientific idiots who wrote and directed this steaming pile.