Awful hideous travesty ,but don't take my word for it...

Rating: 1/10 (2 July 2009)

The film starts off promisingly kirk's father makes a heroic sacrifice to save the rest of the Kelvin's crew so far so good thought the audience unfortunately it all goes to hell from there. A blond child-kirk takes a car off a cliff for no apparent reason other than it looked good in the trailer. The first warning signs should have been the blatant product placement of a mobile phone in the "Antique" car.It was even more cringe inducing than the IRobot product placement of modern trainers in a sci future based film.Lord give me strength. We jump around in time to a bar fight,and the first day of kirks academy career then suddenly to three years later.After some more embarrassing drinks related product placement,the "Plot" begins. An emergency at vulcan causes the cadets to be given starship assignments.The excuse being the fleet is elsewhere dealing with another crisis?The whole fleet is gone and for some reason having left earth,vulcan and we assume the surrounding planets completely unguarded? and there's a slew of brand new starfleet vessels (including the enterprise) with no crew happily orbiting just waiting for kirk and co to use just in case?? With logic taking such a permanent holiday so early on in the film alarm bells started to ring at this point. kirk gets made acting second officer of the ship having no experience whatsoever .Pike surrenders to the mysterious alien ship and we pretty much never see him again .Commander Spock takes command ,vulcan is blown up despite a appallingly bad fight scene with swords?no need to use phasers its not like its the mid 23rd century or anything. Kirk and spock clash over how to proceed so spock ,the logical Vulcan of star trek legend fires him off in an escape pod towards a federation outpost on a icy planet. Its there that the movie abandons all pretence of trying to make sense. Older spock ,scotty and his midget comedy sidekick show up and attempt to explain all the thundering plot holes in the movie and wouldn't you know it use time travel to paper over all the cracks.We discover Romulus is doomed ,spock failed to save it and nero the bad guy of the piece ,who speaks about twice in the whole movie, (played by a criminally wasted Eric Bana) blames spock for the death of his family.
We learn the mysterious alien ship is a Romulan mining vessel? presumably converted to fire very primitive looking missiles that jar badly with the star fleet weapons used against it.Some how it can destroy entire fleets of enemy ships . After kirk assumes command by getting the emotionless spock mad he lies in ambush for nero as he approaches earth .One more badly done and confusingly filmed fight scene (in which they actually remember to use their phasers)and then cadet kirk gets given several promotions all the way to captain.And the audience scratches it collective head and wonder if they can get a refund from paramount.
Its not science fiction theirs no science at all No intelligent talk about the ramifications of playing with time . Its not action as its impossible to tell whose fighting who its not a film as such more of a hap hazard collage of bad ideas bad acting and missed opportunities an insulting waste of time and effort