Yikes

Rating: 3/10 (22 December 2018)

This movie is definitely not as good as everyone is making it out to be.
The movie starts off simply enough. Miles is your average Hollywood teen, who is the son of the only police officer in New York City. And if you want to see yet another person get bitten by a radioactive spider, then you're in luck.
75% of the film is Miles trying and failing to be Spiderman. He's incapable of controlling any of his powers, and does little more than get in the way and utter cliche lines such as "I have to do this. I promised." It's rather frustrating to watch. But conveniently, he figures everything out in the last half hour and becomes a better hero than all the other Spidermen who've been in the business for years.
Speaking of everyone else, as the story progresses, the audience is introduced to more and more Spiderman variations (and more unusual villains). With so much content, they barely get any more than just a few minutes of screen time. Spiderman Noir was interesting, for the five lines he had. I'm pretty sure there was some kind of Penny Porker character, but I may be mistaken. There's also a Scorpion villain who shows up out of nowhere, then mostly disappears.
As a whole, the movie was filmed assuming that the audience's attention span is a about 1 second. Most jokes are cringe worthy, especially after you've seen them in the trailer. There's also way too much flash going on, and the movie's final scene is about as visually complex as a Jackson Pollock spatter painting.
Spiderverse doesn't do anything that hasn't been done time and again.