Spider-Meh

Rating: 4/10 (22 October 2017)

I don't know how many times Spider-man can be rebooted, but enough is enough. They at least had the decency to skip the Uncle Ben murder sub-plot, but still...meh.
While I enjoyed Tom Holland as a young PP/Spider-Man, and also some of the fight scenes (the bank scene was the most fun to me), there's too much wrong here to make it a great movie.
It's too self-aware to be charming. The mixed universe idea blows and needs to stop, despite the fact that Jon Favreau and Robert Downey, Jr were fine in their minor parts. There's a line in the movie: "If you're not good enough without the suit...". Too bad the writers didn't take that to heart in this regard.
And speaking of suits, way too much time was spent on the special one given to him early in the movie, which basically makes this a large rip off, err um...reference back to the first Iron Man movie. The whole idea of him struggling with it was good or amusing for a few minutes, but dear god, it goes on thru almost the entire movie and gets stale.
The dialogue feels like it was written by teenagers for teenagers. I felt like it made PP/Spider-Man kind of stupid and childish. Much of it was done for the sake of humor that fell flat in a short amount of time.
There were also some odd casting decisions. Aunt May is hot 50-ish woman instead of an old lady. Huh, what? And did PP call her "May" instead of "Aunt May" in the comics? I have no idea, but it seemed odd to me - PP has never done that in any other film iteration that I am aware of.
This movie also trips over itself trying to be PC, from the youth casting choices all the way to the Vulture being corrected for his use of "cowboys and Indians" to "cowboys and Native Americans". Wow, really? Or was that Sony marketing at work?
And why does Spidey need a sidekick? I'll leave it at that.
Worst of all...the Vulture is not really in it much. He also has no "origin story" and you pretty much see him for what he is right off the bat. Spoiler alert - he just likes to steal technology, modify it, and then steal more. Yippee. There's also a plot point about a special mask he has to wear in low oxygen areas (the creation of which is blatantly hinted thru not so subtle dialogue moments), the same physics of which somehow do not apply to Spider-Man when the time comes. For a character who is supposed to be strong in science, that seems contradictory to the character. And my common sense.
If future Spider-Man movies continue, they really need to take notes from the Sam Raimi versions - they were done so much better, and on so many levels. They felt more organic, and tried to develop a story better. This was all punch and little substance, as were the last two and I am tired of it.
Sony needs to remember: With great power, comes the great responsibility to make better movies.