Meanwhile...Meanwhile...Enough!

Rating: 3/10 (20 November 2009)

Yes, I am aware Spider-Man comes from the comic books. And I've read enough of them that the word "meanwhile" shows up quite often. Unfortunately, they didn't place "meanwhile" in Spider-Man 3.
I don't know how many subplots are in Spider-Man 3, but I'll try to list them. All. And with the appropriate word "meanwhile" to transition them, as they should've in the movie:
Mary Jane's finally on Broadway. Meanwhile, Harry's still seeking revenge on Spider-Man for the supposed murder of his father, a.k.a. Green Goblin. Meanwhile, Peter wants to marry MJ. Meanwhile, an alien force lands on Earth. Meanwhile, Flint, related to the death of Uncle Ben, breaks out of prison. Meanwhile, Flint's fighting to make his sick daughter alive and his ex at bay. Meanwhile, Harry gets temporary amnesia. Meanwhile, Brock is yearning to be Spidey's new press agent. Meanwhile, Gwen is dangerously modeling during an accident and Spidey rescues her. Meanwhile, her father, the police captain, grants Spidey the key to the city. Meanwhile, MJ gets fired for bad acting. Meanwhile, Peter proposes and gets turned down from MJ. Meanwhile, romance sparks up between MJ and Harry. Meanwhile, Sandman and Spidey fight. Meanwhile, the black goo, a.k.a. alien Venom attaches to Spidey. Meanwhile, Spidey gets loose and becomes a real person, albeit aggressive. Meanwhile, Spidey loses the Venom to Brock. Meanwhile, Brock becomes a cartoon black Spidey. Meanwhile, Harry's father's ghost visits and convinces him to blackmail MJ and fight Spidey. Meanwhile, Sandman and Venom team up to hurt Spidey. Meanwhile, Peter makes MJ jealous with Gwen. Meanwhile, Dr. Connors warns of the black goo. Meanwhile, Peter's apartment manager, daughter and Aunt gives good advice while either criticizing his place or again, asking for rent. Meanwhile, J. Jonah Jameson is having pill problems. Meanwhile, Peter learns to dance, horribly, but it was meant for comic relief, I suppose. Meanwhile, the "Alfred"-butler reveals at the most opportune time what Harry needed to hear to move the plot along.
(That last one made me actually crack up in the theatre – Seriously? He chose that moment after 3 movies to reveal the truth behind the death of the Green Goblin?)
Wow. Did I miss any? I understand that's not entirely in order and that's not all of the multiple subplots, but I count twenty-six subplots. Twenty-six??? Seriously? This has to be a record.
I've seen this movie a few times, and though it's not horrible, in fact it's decently filmed and Grace brings a lot to his role as Brock/Venom, there are way too many things going on. It certainly had the "Batman" dilemma. By the time the original Batman series got to part IV, there were so many villains, so many characters, so many subplots, it was so bogged down, it was unwatchable. And that's sad. This could've been so much better if they focused on only Venom as a villain. Or just Sandman as a villain. Or signaling out Gwen as a love interest. Or even Spidey going bad. Or the now-age-old New Goblin as a rival.
No, they had to put 26+ ideas in one. The biggest problem with the entire series is pacing. Going on way too long. Here, in part III, they not only decided to actually increase the length, but add way too many ideas.
Unfortunately, that was the movie's undoing. Despite some awesome action sequences (Harry Vs. Peter in the opening and the absolute comic-book ending fight) the movie seriously should be skipped. I remember watching this in theatres thinking: "Oh, I can't wait to watch this on DVD, so I can just skip to the 30 minutes (of 139) that I actually liked."
Speaking of which, I'm guessing we're not supposed to side with aggressive Spider-Man, made that way with the alien goo. Unlike the other Super-Hero Part 3, where Kal-El goes bad in Superman III, I actually liked Peter/Black-Spidey much better than the red/blue good-guy. At least this Dark-Spidey got paid for once.
Let's hope they get back on track for part IV. Ideas: go back to one villain. Lose the "love conflict story" between the two leads – Oh My God, that's been played out for almost seven hours of the series. In addition, if there is a wedding, yeah, like there won't be, make it quick and get back to the action. And, finally, fire Willem Dafoe – enough with the Green Goblin!!!!