Your friendly neighborhood loser...

Rating: 2/10 (9 May 2007)

It's a simply equation: Spiderman 3 = piece of turd.
HERE'S WHY!
1.) Action: Where the hell was it? With the exception of Harry and "evil" Peter battling, the rest of the movie consisted of spiderman getting bullied. I almost felt sorry for him. Where was HIS spiderman?
2.) Logic: If some A are B, then some B are definitely ۞. This is about how much sense this movie made. Let's talk about Harry's butler. First off, recall Spiderman 1. There's that whole ending battle with spiderman and the first green goblin. Let's recall who was there. There was Spiderman, the first Green Goblin, and...THAT'S IT! How the HELL did the butler know that the original Green Goblin's aircraft killed the green goblin? Was he dusting the tables while the fight took place? Next, Mary Jane. "Peter's not paying attention to me. He doesn't understand how I feel...blah, blah, blah." Peter WAS being selfish for not comforting her when she was booted from the play. Oh, wait, SHE NEVER TOLD HIM! As far as him not paying attention, I'm sure Spiderman has other things on his mind besides MARY JANE. She was so stupid in this movie, I was crying tears of joy when Peter smacked the crap out of her. Maybe she wasn't cut from the play, because she was a bad performer. Maybe she was cut, because she's STUPID. Afterall, acting means singing right?
3.) Realism: Harry is god. Let me tell you all the truth. When an explosion happens so close that it melts half of your face, chances are, you won't COMPLETELY HEAL in 1 DAY or even continue your days as scheduled.
4.) Special Effects: You could touch the giant sand monster! No, not really, because he looked about as real as Bugs Bunny. The only thing that looked real was the symbiote, but not even that was impressive. It looked like someone put jelly on ceram wrap and moved the jelly by pulling on the wrap.
5.) Ending: After smashing Peter nearly to death, robbing bank trucks, injuring countless people, and finally, killing Peter's uncle, Peter decides to not only "forgive" Sandman, but also LET HIM GO! There's justice for you. Venom, now you see him, BAM! Now you don't. He's in the movie for about 10 minutes anyway so it's not like he's an important character.
Thanks for reading!