The Death Of A Comic Book Franchise

Rating: 1/10 (5 May 2007)

Oh the humanity.
Obviously, when I'm going to see a comic book movie, I leave some of my brain at the door, but I feel like I may have needed to be fully decapitated to truly appreciate this movie.
The audience we were with actually burst out with laughter during Harry's death.
I wanted to wipe that stupid idiotic grin off Tobey Macguire's face during half the movie, and for the other half I just wanted to punch him in the head for being a ridiculous, dancing emo wannabe.
Bruce 'Ash' Campbell had the only genuinely funny performance of the film, and I was so hoping that in the end he'd pull out his boom stick and clean up the mess, but alas it was not to be.
As for the plot holes, it was more of a case of, 'would you like some plot with your holes?'.
What the hell was with Harry forcing MJ to break up with Peter or he'd kill him. It just doesn't make sense. I mean, he'd already made inroads, he would've been much better to just stick his tongue down her throat again and actually cause a breakup for real. Plus, MJ knows that Peter is Spiderman, why would she care. Sure, he could've threatened to kill her, but that would've kinda ruined the plan.
The sandman character, played by a stupidly buff Thomas Haden Church, was cool, but underdeveloped. We saw a brief scene in which we sort of see why he's doing what he's doing, but he never actually gives any money to his ex wife and daughter. Plus, Peter already knows his weakness is water, and yet they fight him with fire, duh, idiots.
The flag scene made me angry. As if these movies aren't already symbolized enough, they actually put Spiderman in front of a waving American flag and virtually spell out the fact that the US is good and right and that everyone else is evil and bad. Not cool.
If I had my way, Harry would've killed Peter somehow, got with MJ, and then Gwen. The sandman would've got his cash, then given it to his ex, and then just remain in his normal form and change when he needs to, (it's not like the cops will ever be able to stop him).