Emo-Man: An Action Figure Movie

Rating: 1/10 (20 May 2007)

This was easily the very worst of the trilogy. Thank the lord on high I didn't pay money to see this movie. Because it's bad. Like Joel Schumacher's "Batman and Robin" bad. Like rubber bat-nipples and gratuitous homo-erotic butt shots bad.
I can see why the cast didn't want to be in the movie (as seen in the post-production interviews on practically every entertainment channel). Did the writers really think they could replace story with special effects? Sure, they made a gazillion bucks, but this crap movie will never win a real award, and it actually hurts the comic book genre deeply and will never gain any real seriousness.
Much of the dialog was labored and just plain bad, like the pie scene with Harry Osborn, or actually all of James Franco's dialog in all 3 movies. The "New Goblin"'s costume was nothing more than an extreme sports enthusiast's wet dream (a flying snowboard and a glorified paint ball mask).
Kirsten Dunst really didn't seem into the role. Why? Compare the number of times she screams in the first and second movies to this film. It's like she didn't want to waste her voice or make the effort.
Emo-Man was really, really terrible, like the part where he's disco dancing in public and carries an air of sexual harassment around him. I thought the symbiote was supposed to make him more aggressive, not turn him into a complete sleaze ball. Hitting Mary Jane, even accidentally, was incredibly out of character. When the pivotal moment of a story has to rely on abusing women, the movie automatically starts heading south.
Topher Grace as Venom was a terrible choice. I won't even start on how bad his dialog was and how completely they wasted Venom's potential.
Sandman was completely unnecessary. For a major antagonist, he's barely in the movie. All we get to see is how big a jerk Emo-Man is, then an underdeveloped love triangle, followed by ridiculously nonsensical fight scenes and finished off by poorly executed and mistimed comedic relief. I thought Peter Parker's character was supposed to be smart, but by the film's rushed ending, he doesn't vindicate himself and neither does Sandman.
The only redeemable parts in the film are the cameos by Stan Lee and Bruce Campbell. That is it. Please, save your $8 dollars.