Perfect example of trying to stuff too much story into too little of a time frame...

Rating: Null/10 (17 September 2007)

I went to see this the Friday it came out, hoping for a good climax to the series, as reported. Well, I wait in line for the 12AM showing, and I see people coming out laughing and mocking it. Bad sign, and I should of obeyed my instincts telling me to get out and go see something else (unfortunately, a Friday night with only a couple of kiddie films showing at the theater and cops patrolling the area doesn't leave me a whole lot to do; plus, the mall's closed). That's that, but I had my suspicions from the group I witnessed and they stuck with me through the previews. Then, it began.
We start out the very minute where we left off in Spider-Man 2. Peter's just swooped off his balcony and is headed for the police sirens, Harry has gone evil on us after discovering his father's shocking demise and, even more shocking, who was responsible (also, he's found his father's lab with all the Greenie Goblin junk), and tension between MJ and Peter is beginning. That's that. We then are introduced to "Sandman", who undergoes his transformation after falling into some huge pit with radioactive-gamma-treatment-whatever-nonsense going on and some weired meteor/space goo that seems to "amplify aggression". Nothing new or too interesting...
Middle of the film: gets darker, Peter uses his new black suit, turned sour by the terrible space goo, Harry has tried killing Peter, only to be knocked out and suffering from amnesia, taking him back to the day before his father died (thus he has no memory of him discovering his best friend behind the mask or finding his father's lab), and Eddie Brock become increasingly jealous of Peter. Sandman plays a small part here, but nothing that big or interesting, save for being defeated by the ultimate bad-guy killer: water (doh! he's made of sand; that's right...). Oh, I almost forgot to mention Peter's dark side causes him not to act like a villain, but more like the emo kid in school with some issues and clandestine prodigal way about him (I am not joking, it's that cheesy). Oh, uh, MJ and Peter are thinking about... getting *cough*HITCHED*cough*.
The climax I'm not going to EVEN THINK of delving into. I will tell you how it ends, however: Eddie Brock becomes Venom for the last 20 minutes of the film (FFS! HE'S VENOM! COOLEST Villain EVER! WTF, STAN?!) and dies, Harry joins forces with Peter AGAIN, only to be impaled where he too dies, and Peter and MJ simply remain friends, refraining from engagement, as planned. The VERY last second is what's most painful. It leaves you hanging with that sort of, "So what happened next?" thing hanging in the back of your mind (MJ and Peter dance together- we fade to black... the end... what?... you were expecting more...?).
I seriously think that this film has rightfully doomed the series, assuming they even had plans to continue making one or two more Spider-Man films. As I said, Venom, the greatest and most well known villain of the comic book age, gets a 20 minute part in the entire film... no epic fight sequences people... although "emo child" has evolved into "emo man". Sandman "fades into the wind"... wow... what a way to go out with a bang... any last words, maybe?... just a thought...
This is a perfect example of when Hollywood wants to cram too much into too short of a time frame. In my honest opinion, I would of done this film about Sandman and the beginning on Venom (the drop of space goo landing on him) and cut to black with a "To Be Continued" message at the end, then make a Spider-Man 4 which would deal with the late middle and climax of this film. Instead, they tried to end it where it stood without satisfying the viewer. Cheapest, though not uncommon, thing I've ever seen done.
I'll wait for the DVD. Hopefully it can redeem its rating here on IMDb... otherwise, it sinks.