Lousy Movie

Rating: 1/10 (4 May 2007)

Right now, I know you're not going to want to believe me. But trust me, this movie isn't what you think it is. I loved the first Spider-Man movie. I tell people that it took me on the whole emotional journey: I laughed, I cried, and I had more fun that I did during any other super hero movie. And then I enjoyed the second Spider-Man movie.
But there were those rumors that Sam Raimi, Tobey Maguire, and Kirsten Dunst all wanted out of the franchise. And there were those rumors that the producers wanted to do more, with or without them. About halfway through "Spider-Man 3", I got the distinct impression that writer/director Raimi and star Maguire were intentionally trying to sabotage the franchise, brilliantly screwing the studio heads begging for more sequels and, consequentially, the audience as well.
The movie starts out promisingly enough, as an excellent character drama in the spirit of the first two movies. Like the first two, the movie puts the emphasis squarely on the character of Peter Parker and his relationship with those around him, specifically beautiful redhead Mary Jane and "New Goblin" James Franco, as well as Eddie Brach Gwen Stacey, Aunt May, Sandman, J. Jonah Jameson, Captain Stacey, and too many others for the director to keep track of, even if he wanted to, which Raimi certainly doesn't seem to. Then there's the sloppy handling of the introduction of the symbiote that will eventually create Venom. And there's also the annoying continuity error of Eddie Brach, already mentioned as being a photographer for the Daily Bugle in a previous movie, coming to the Bugle for the first time in search of a job.
Despite a few excellent action sequences, the character drama soon devolves into an overly long soap opera filled with love triangle upon triangle and other contrived interactions between the characters. The movie then devolves further into a B-list monster movie. Along the way, it mixes in song-and-dance numbers, extremely awkward and sometimes laughable moments, forced humor, and cliché lines from cheesy buddy cops movies. And the whole time the dialog and situations become more and more cringe-worthy, to the point it seems certain that Raimi and Maguire were trying to make the worst movie possible in order to guarantee there wouldn't be a "Spider-Man 4." The movie climaxes in a series of sickly sweet, over-the-top, sappy "moral of the story" scenes.
Kirsten Dunst at least seems to not be trying to destroy the movie, turning in one of the film's better performances. Nor does Christopher Young, who takes over scoring duties from Danny Elfman, who also wanted desperately out of the franchise. The special effects people also seem to still be trying to turn in their best work, doing incredible jobs of bringing Sandman and Venom to life, even though the movie's major showdown involving the two villains seems like something out of a cheap Godzilla or King Kong movie. And Bruce Campbell's brief cameo appearance provided the only genuinely successful humor in the movie. Bryce Dallas Howard is kinda cute as Gwen Stacey but seems somehow unnatural. Meanwhile, Topher Grace as Eddie Brach/Venom seems to be playing a more contemporary version of his character from "That 70's Show" while Tobey Maguire, who did an amazing job portraying Peter Parker in the first two movies, mugs so much that he, once again, seems intent on sabotaging the franchise.
The only other people involved with the film who did a decent job were the advertisers. By placing elements of all the best scenes into every trailer, they raised my expectations for "Spider-Man 3." I haven't been this disappointed by a movie in a long time.
Believe me, I really wanted to like this movie, and I'm sure you really want to like it, too. But don't waste your money and time.