Seriously?????

Rating: 5/10 (21 December 2009)

This movie was so bad and convoluted, it was ridiculous, Let me start off by saying that I have seen both Spider Man 1 and 2 in on their opening weeks, and they freaking' rocked. Actually, Spider Man 2 is one of the best movies I have seen in a theatre. Then I saw Spider Man 3 on opening weekend... and Sam Raimi has officially destroyed my love of the franchise. Sadly. I felt as if Sam played a practical joke on us instead of giving us the real Spider-Man 3. There seems to be a limit though on the amount of words so I'll get straight down to it: -The opening fight between Harry and Peter. Wolverine would roll his eyes, it was so dumb. And then of course, the scene ends with Harry getting Amnesia from hitting his head so hard on a rock! WOW!!!! Jessica Simpson did a great job at writing this!!!! Seriously though. That scene was so stupid that everyone was laughing in the theatre.
-I'm not kidding, the whole Amnesia subplot was hilariously bad. All of a sudden, Harry is happier and smiler, and rockin' and rollin'. Franco... please do us a favour and don't give into scripts where your character's amnesia causes your character to be all smiley and happy, because you look and act like an idiot. No joke.
-Sandman. Actually, the whole movie should be cited as a giant epic Sandman failure. He has no development and is just tacked in there to be all cool and badass. And his introduction was hilarious. What is this Military thing in the desert with lots of sand??? And why does he fall into it? And more importantly, why does nobody there notice some random guy in the pit, and the machine turning on? -And also, can someone tell me the point of the whole American Flag gag? Is it because Mr. Raimi had to thrust red, white and blue in your face? Excuse me, I may be a little while on this one, like I have been for the past 3 years.
-Too many villains, too many subplots, too many coincidences. This seriously drove me crazy. I couldn't follow what went on, because of this.
-Gwen Stacy. WOW. WASTED POTENTIAL. The idiotic comments defending her are ridiculous, just like her. No point, except to be hot and sexy, which she is, but that doesn't mean she was a consistent character.
-The Symbiote was seriously stupid. I loved the slick black design, but all of a sudden, Peter goes emo and starts doing sexualized dance movements to girls in the street.
-Speaking of which, whose idea was it to turn the movie into a musical romantic comedy? We have Peter walking around dancing inappropriately, and then then that scene in the club which lasts 10 minutes (it honestly felt like 10 hours). My brain was so tired by that point that when the next scene came, I could only think of that. Oh, and then because he accidentally smacked MJ (that was actually a moment that I applauded at because she was unbearable throughout the whole movie- who would date her at all??????? I certainly would not), he goes all depressed and wants to give it up.
-And yes, this movie is as depressing as I am making it sound like! MJ being a total dog? Check. Aunt May's boring advice? Check. Spidey emo? Check. Emo hair? Check. Boring breakup subplot? Check. This is SPIDER MAN, DAMMIT! WE WANT THE ACTION!!!! NOT HOUR OF SOAP OPERA MATERIAL!!!!! -Venom is seriously, the biggest disappointment of any movie. First off, he's only in the movie for 5 MINUTES, and has literally 4 lines. And he's not the Venom I am used to- Instead he is a totally sleazy douche bag becoming a totally sleazy douche bag, as usual.
-Oh, Sandman killed my dad. Even though he is a murderer and a monster and is using his "family" BS as an excuse, I'm just going to forgive him anyway! Seriously, that bit was so stupid, I literally laughed out loud in the theatre.
-And that ending. YAWWWWN.... what happened to the "Get ready for the next movie" ending? Instead we just have boring stuff about Peter and MJ dancing...
-Too long for its own good, yet at the same time, too short for all the material crammed in. When you have a movie with a ridiculous amount of villains and subplots, it becomes too long, but then at the same time, it's not long enough, why? Because so much is crammed in that there's not enough time to explore them all.
I could type more, but I'm getting angry just thinking about it.