Dawson's Creek Meets Elektra...

Rating: 4/10 (5 May 2007)

...with a little Xanadu sprinkled in for good measure. The producers of these must have had something to do with the production of Spidey 3 (I'll explain these comparisons in my review). I dislike spoilers and think the best way to properly review this movie without giving it away is to compare it to other films and TV shows.
I stopped guessing who was going to be caught kissing whom by the end and I just didn't care anymore. I went into Spidey 3 not expecting it to be as good as 1 & 2 (I had read other reviews), but good lord! It was like someone p*ssed on the iconic scenes from the first two movies. Shame on whoever came up with this mess.
I don't mind complex characters. In fact I enjoy them, but it was like Dr. Phil was involved and wanted to show the tortured, tender sides of the villains, while Spidey is shown as no saint. Spidey 3 had the same problem I had with Elektra, I didn't know who to cheer for, and to top it off, Elektra had a better script. I'm serious. I'm not exaggerating. It was like the producers of Spidey 3 came up with all these great fight scenes and musical numbers first, and then realized they should have some kind of story to tie it all to together. The logic and motivations of the supposed "good guys" are completely off (even if they are being influenced by evil). The only truly good person is Aunt Mae, who randomly bursts onto the screen to offer pearls of wisdom akin to Yoda guiding a young Luke Skywalker.
To top it off, the heroes are just plain stupid in the heart-to-heart dramatic scenes (don't worry, I won't spoil the heartbreaking moments). Just watch an episode of Dawson's Creek and that will give you a good example. The audience was actually booing and someone sitting behind me called MJ a b***h.
The dialog was on the level of the junior high school kids in an after school special. It was obviously written by someone who'd never actually stepped into a college classroom. Peter Parker even gets picked on for being a nerd in a college-level physics class by a jock throwing spit balls at his head and another shining a mirror in his eyes while he's trying to read the chalkboard.
I won't go into the massacre of the Gwen Stacey character (Peter's lab partner).
There are some continuity problems which can jerk a watcher out of the moment which are quite annoying (my brain would go "wait a minute" when the poor editing would change what a character was doing in mid-sentence).
The only reason I suggest seeing this on the big screen is for the special effects. They're pretty amazing. The Sandman is quite breathtaking.
See Spidey 3 if you must, but expect a huge spectacle like Xanadu with flashy numbers and thin dialog in the middle. You've been warned.