Spiderman, Spiderman...

Rating: 3/10 (17 November 2007)

Many superhero movies are in theaters for one purpose: to make money. Spiderman 3 serves a different kind of master. It not only wants to make money, it wants to get its messages across as well. Messages like love, sacrifice, justice, responsibility, inner demons, outer demons, jealousy, envy, friendship, brotherhood, peace, decency, patience and understanding. It would take three seasons of "Barney" to get all that across. Sam Rami decides that it can fit into his movie.
But squeezing the entirety of the human emotional range isn't as easy as it sounds, folks. And bearing the weight of these diverse themes is poor Spidey, Tobey Maguire. While Spiderman himself battles foes of darkness, Tobey surrenders the battle of the script and plays out the page.
Maguire looks silly, and while the audience may have sympathy for him, there's no empathy. We're lost in the mess of characters and plot lines that have been sacrificed for half-witted melodramatic moments. The action is pulsing, but it's no spectacular and the fight scenes are dully paced (excepting an early duel of Harry vs. Peter but of course that's completely useless - Rami uses the scene to bring emotional distress on Peter and emotional resonance from Harry so we cheer for Spidey but feel for Harry and can't decide and oh whoops there we go...). Anyone ever seen 'The Adventures of Robin Hood?' That's what a fight scene is supposed to be like. Which fight scene am I talking about? Pick one.
The acting is the only thing that will truly leave a tear on your cheek. And this acting is not the stuff of Maguire, a dull-but-delicious James Franco, the eerie Bryce Dallas Howard or the miscast Topher Grace. It's the sweet Kirsten Dunst one weeps for, as well as the peerless James Cromwell.
Don't waste your time on this latest Hollywood bonanza. It may seem like more then a special effects show at first glance, but the self-righteous melodrama is only concealing the true nature of this blockbuster - yes, it's a popcorn tween action flick that just happens to be boring.