Bipolar spidey goes poo-poo

Rating: 6/10 (3 July 2008)

Look at what happened to Spidey. Dafoe and Molina go bye-bye, and poor Maguire, left stranded, goes poo-poo. Way too many subplots, too many villains, miscast Venom. They told Maguire that Peter Parker is supposed to be nerdy and sensitive, so he gives you nerdy and sensitive till you puke. Along comes black suit, which is supposed to make him into insensitive, hyper-virile, not-so-nice-guy-any-more, and he gives you insensitive, hyper-virile, not-so-nice-guy-any-more till you puke.
One would think that Topher So-and-So from That 70s Show wouldn't make a good Venom, and one would be correct.
The Amazing thing about Spider-man is the handling of the female characters: every single one is a pathetic, insipid waste of space. Girlies don't have personality, see? They're just these warm, cuddly, pretty beings that sometimes hang helplessly from the gargoyle thingies in tall skyscrapers, or from scaffolding. Parker's neighbor: infatuated, super-servile freak. Parker's girlfriend: utterly nauseating wishy-washy milky plump mother-figure wannabe type-of-thing who changes her love interests at the drop of a dime, as one might say. Her character is so weak, it's surprising that she doesn't collapse into a puddle of wood. Oh, and all the supermodels that lust for Parker in the "Spidey goes bad" segment: what?
The movie is amusing nonetheless, thanks to aerial combat.