Worst Film of 2007, or the new Milena?

Rating: Null/10 (20 June 2007)

It's sad to see a great trilogy end so horribly. That is, if Spiderman 3 is the end of the series, (i.e., it has made so much money another sequel may already be in the works). Spiderman 3 is not only the worst film in the series; it is one of the worst films of the new millennium. The third outing in the otherwise excellent film series centers around an assortment of characters; Peter Parker, (Tobey Maguire), and his acceptance of being a hero loved by New York, Mary Jane Watson, (Kirsten Dunst), and her anxiety of being a failure as an actress, Harry Osborne, (James Franco), and his obsession with killing Peter, Eddie Brock, (Topher Grace) a photographer compelled to take Peter's job, and Flint Marko, (Thomas Haden Church), a criminal that turns out to be the man who really killed Peter's Uncle Ben in the first Spiderman film. The intimidating cast of characters seems to be too much at first, and in the end, it still is. There is too much time spent on introducing the characters and getting to know them that the plot loses screen time to the characters. There are about 5 more main players in the film that I haven't mentioned already, but if I tried to explain them this whole review would be filled with names and pointless plot lines. Sadly, in a stellar cast, only three actors show their excellent acting abilities, in little screen time; Bruce Campbell (of the cult film Army of Darkness from the Evil Dead trilogy), who plays a gut-busting Maître d' at a French restaurant, Thomas Haden Church, (Sideways), as not so much of a villain but more of a lost soul in a role as a criminal and villain Sandman, and Topher Grace, (That 70's Show's Eric Foreman), as an aspiring photographer whose hate eventually turns him into the infamous Spiderman villain Venom. One of the films major downfalls is its ridiculous plot. The most important element of the plot, the black ooze that turns Peter from normal to evil, and Topher Grace's character into venom, comes from an asteroid that falls out of the sky. To showcase how evil this makes Peter, the filmmakers put makeup on him, have him strut through New York snapping his fingers and eyeing women for nearly fifteen minutes all while wearing his "evil-spidey" black outfit underneath his clothes. What is supposed to be funny turns out to be dumb, tedious, and irrelevant, ultimately killing any chance of the film being good enough to view more than once. There is so much wrong with this film that I could fill up all of Rolling Stone with its failures. I hated this film. Even if you loved the first two films, Spiderman 3 is boring, brainless and not worth seeing. Ever. Let me put it this way; instead of dumbing down the plot to get to the widest audience, the plot is so dumb it may actually lower the audience's IQ.