A review from an impartial judge (spoiler warning)

Rating: 5/10 (7 May 2007)

Like I said in the summary, I am an impartial judge. Yeah, I saw the first two movies. And, yeah, I liked them. But I'm not a fan boy, nor do I dislike the movies.
I'm going to make notes in my composition book as I watch the movie here in the theatre. I will then post them ALL in this box. . . I'll form the thoughts into sentences, but I won't edit down the meanings. Then, I will calculate the differential and give it a score out of 10.
Ready? Here we go:
-Let me start by saying I hated the opening narration. It was lame and rather childish. Not so much a "dark" opening to lead into the movie it's supposed to be. (bad)
-Next. . .why can't Peter sense spitballs in class? That is a small danger. It could put his eye out. Where are your spidey senses? (bad)
-Aww. . .the making out on the web was cute. I like that. But it was ruined by what looks like a glowing red Gusher with black juice in the middle. Mmm. . . Gushers. (good)
-Thomas Hayden Church. I've been a huge fan of his since Lowell in "Wings." Concreted by his work on Sideways. "I'm not a bad person. I've just had bad luck." (good)
-Wow. Holy change of pace. From hugging old ladies to being attacked by psycho villains on flying snowboards. (bad)
-This flying fight scene is definitely better than the ones with the Green Goblin, I must say. Bravo! (good)
-The thing that I don't understand. . . Harry is so very different than his father. We spent an entire movie establishing that. Yeah, he loves him and all, but couldn't he have been a different villain? I mean, they're essentially the same character only Harry's faster and younger. (Eh. . . kinda bad. But forgivable. Tiebreaker.)
-Well, that was an effective but immature & lame way to end the fight. (bad)
-What a ridiculously cool way to become a villain (Sandman). I'm happy for Thomas. (good)
-Ooh. The crane scene. I saw a clip of this on Regis & Kelly. Let's see how it is in real time. Yeah, that was cool. Still not as cool as Sandman. But cool. (good)
-And so everyone knows. . . Jamison is my favourite character. So they get an extra (good) every time he's on screen. This is the second time. So: (good) (good)
-There's Stan Lee's cameo. But it was short. (neither good nor bad)
-I wish I had a giant painting of Willem Dafoe on my wall. I'd use it to scare away the neighbourhood kids. (good)
-So, wait. . . I thought Sandman was just made of particles. . . he can actually control sand and turn giant and fly? That's kind of . . . weird. (bad)
-Spiderman just said "Shazam." (bad)
-WOO! Bruce Campbell! Man of the 2 hours and 20 minutes. (good)
-Aww. Bruce is gone. (bad)
-I wish this movie would pick a pace. It goes from slapstick comedy, to over-the-top action, to buddy picture, to romance, back to action, back to comedy, back to romance. . . but the transitions are horribly done. (bad)
-And the black goo finally does something. I dig the new suit. (good)
-Time for the oh-so-popular subway fight. Very cool. (good)
-So Peter is emo now? That's. . . cool. Only not. (bad)
-So MJ and Pete slut around. (bad)
-Spiderman is crying. Horrible. (bad)
-And now Peter's kind of a d1ck. . . and I kinda like Brock. (good)
-Why is he dancing? Seriously. He's Tobey Maguire. Not John Travolta. that needs to stop. (bad)
-But Sandman is back. (good)
-My god Peter is such a tool. The parasite is supposed to amplify the traits right? When was Peter ever a raging d0uche bag? Never. So how is that amplified into the hair-in-his-face, black-eyeliner-wearing jerk he is? And that includes hitting a woman. Moron. (bad)
-"I want you to kill Peter Parker" . . . because he stole the job that you cheated and lied to get? And stole the girl that you went out for coffee with and that's it? Bit overboard. (bad)
-Black goo likes someone new. (yeah it rhymes.) Here comes Venom. About time. (GOOD)
-The formation of Venom was very cool. (good)
-Aww, poor Harry. (bad)
-It's over. (good)
-Alright, over. One major problem I had, like everyone else, was the horribly set pacing. And it continued to the end (bad)
It wasn't a terrible movie. But it's far from the best of the three.
Therefore, after careful calculation, which showed an equal amount of goods than bads. . .
I'll swing (haha) an extra point over for Sam Raimi.
6/10