Just When You Think We're Safe...

Rating: 5/10 (4 May 2007)

Another politically charged "kid's" movie. This time, for the more conservative crowd. Spiderman has always been a stand up guy, "with power comes responsibility" and all that. Peter Parker is consumed with low self esteem and guilt, but it works for him. Except here.
Midway, or maybe 2/3 of the way, through this unnecessarily long movie Peter Parker/Spiderman becomes some Hollywood version of emo. His hair is darker, he's dressed in all black. His bangs even graze over one eye like that guy from that band. The typically shy Parker becomes a "suave" flirt, and a, how can I put this, daring dancer. *OVER OBVIOUS MESSAGE TO KIDS* emo is BAD children, now cut your hair and get some nice clothes. PS-the symbiote that causes the emo craze is thwarted by ringing sounds...kinda like music...I found it ironic.
How 'bout something red, white, and blue? Kinda like the flag our forefathers fought to protect. You know, the one behind Spiderman once he comes out of the throws of emoness-er-the symbiote, I mean. *OVER OBVIOUS MESSAGE TO KIDS* being American makes you better than everyone else! Besides the glaring conservative messages, this movie is just too full. There's three villains (if the symbiote counts once for Spidey and Venom), five plot lines, and erroneous dance numbers. I would have rather sat through a Spiderman 4 than this "epic" monstrosity. The fight scenes are spectacular. Hints from movies such as "The Mummy" and "The Grudge" come to mind. Digital is wonderful.
In a discussion during the ride home after wards I realized that while FLASH! BANG! is cool to watch, it doesn't beat characterization, plot, and heart. Isn't that what superheroes are all about in the first place?