Are you kidding me?!

Rating: 4/10 (6 June 2007)

I wanted to like this film, but I didn't. It is extremely shallow and disjointed. Here are just a few examples without spoiling anything:
1. Peter and MJ's non-reaction to the thing that happens near them close to the beginning of the film. 2. Eddie Brock's attitude and line to Captain Stacy after the "incident." 3. The Butler. THE BUTLER!!!!!
The dialog is atrocious. The action sequences are pretty good. I wish someone had given me the time codes for when the action sequences occur and I would have sat in the hallway until the times came up. I felt embarrassed for Topher Grace. I think he succeeded in making the best out of an extremely poorly written role. James Cromwell. Tobey did fine, but the director needs to remember that less (weeping) is more. (Future directors of Claire Danes, I'm talking to you.) Some of the emotion that Tobey was forced to create from thin air (due to the lousy script) also made me feel embarrassed for him. I fear that some of the odd choices he appeared to make were actually the fault of the editor or director, because several times I found myself asking, "Why did his eyes just widen like crazy? Why is he making that face?" James Franco did fine with poorly written dialog. Kirsten Dunst obviously knows where a body is buried. She emits zero honest emotion in her performance. I defy you to watch a scene from the first movie with your hand over her eyes and then distinguish any difference in the emotional output of her face. I WANT to like her. It's as if she's never gotten out of the line delivery from "Interview with a Vampire." Also, I'm sick of movies preaching to me. Desiring justice and being filled with revenge are NOT the same thing. Reacting to a violent attack with violence does not ALWAYS make the attacker and victim equally guilty of wrongdoing. Did you notice "James Cromwell" earlier in this paragraph? "Why was he stuck in there?" you might ask yourself. That's the same question you'll ask if you see this movie; such is the case with many poorly executed character arcs. Thank God for J.K. Simmons. The audience I saw this film with seemed relieved and appreciative to finally be hearing some good line delivery. Thanks J.K! Bruce Campbell also did a good job. Other comedy in Spider-man 3 feels so contrived that it cheapens the entire film. I'm not saying it's not funny, but...well, you'll see. You'll see when you no doubt pay to go see this film and you, like me, will probably have to look at your shoes during the scenes with some of the worst dialog since Jar Jar Binks.