A Case of Cinematic Inconsistencies

Rating: 1/10 (23 November 2007)

Sections of the movie are listed by their approximate time/scene in question, followed by the inconsistency. Watched: DVD 22597; two-disc special edition; widescreen.
Cast Includes: Tobey MaGuire (Spider-Man/Peter Parker) Kirsten Dunst (Mary Jane Watson) James Franco (New Goblin/Harry Osborn) Thomas Haden Church (Sandman/Flint Marko) Topher Grace (Venom/Eddie Brock Jr.) Bryce Dallas Howard (Gwen Stacy) Rosemary Harris (May Parker) James Cromwell (Captain Stacy) Cliff Robertson (Ben Parker)
5:12: With Mary Jane Watson as our story's heroine, why is she given third marquee billing in the play "Manhattan Memories"? With third billing, why does Mary Jane open the play (and with a song)?
6:57: After the play, Peter spots Harry coming out of the theater. Surrounded by crowds of Broadway's elite, Peter runs after Harry, shouting loudly "Harry! I need to talk to you! Explain things!"
10:18: An alien life form (that went unnoticed earlier when it crash-landed and exploded not far from Peter's motorcycle), climbs onto the back of the motorcycle as Peter and Mary Jane leave the park (where Peter's huge spider web is left, unattended).
14:04: Peter arrives, alone, at Aunt May's apartment building, after apparently dropping Mary Jane off. Where's the alien life form?
17:04: Peter drives away on his motorcycle after visiting Aunt May. When he's swept off the motorcycle by the New Goblin, what happened to the motorcycle? Did it crash and burn into the oncoming bus? Where's the alien life form?
19:49: As the New Goblin chases Spider-Man through a narrow alley building between two buildings, the New Goblin looks too evil; the special effects are so over-the-top that they begin to overstay their welcome; the scenes are too colorful, too cartoon-like, too loud.
21:11: How could anyone survive the tumble and fall that the New Goblin just had? Why is Peter sticking around, concerned that Harry might be dead? (Peter is lucky to be alive and should be running the other way.)
23:23: Interior Scientific Laboratory in New York's Marshlands. The room is filled with scientists; one notes "a little fluctuation" with a change in "the silicon mass" after Flint Marko (who has just jumped a fence marked "Danger  Keep Out  Particle Physics Test Facility") falls into a pit where an experiment (which is never explained) is about to take place. The fluctuation and change is written-off as nothing more than a bird ("It'll fly away").
23:38 As the experiment continues, ("Demolecularization initialized"), we see Flint Marko become Sandman, using a special effects technique perfected (and often poorly imitated) in the sci-fi action film "Terminator 2."
24:49: Interior Hospital. Peter, in a change of clothes, awaits word on Harry's condition. Did he go home to change? If so, how did he get home? Where's his motorcycle? Where's the alien life form?
30:33: Interior Peter's Apartment. Enough already with Peter's stuck door; fix it. Mary Jane arrives after getting her first (bad) theatrical review; Peter tries to cheer her up; Mary Jane just whines: "This isn't about you. This is about me. It's about my career." Later, she whines even more: "Try and understand how I feel."
31:41: Mary Jane really needs Peter's undivided attention, but off he goes to assist an out-of-control crane at 54th and 6th Avenue.
32:20: As Mary Jane leaves Peter's apartment, the alien life form appears, crawling onto a nightstand. How did it get there? Did it arrive with Mary Jane? Where's Peter's motorcycle? Did the alien life form get injured earlier when the New Goblin swept Peter off the cycle?
35:24: Exterior Sidewalk Near 54th & 6th Avenue. Spider-Man saves Gwen's life after she nearly falls 62 stories, but with the crane apparently still out-of-control, Spider-Man stops for a lengthy discussion and photo shoot with Edward Brock Jr. When Spider-Man leaves, the next scene occurs at the Daily Bugle. What happened to the crane?
45:10: During a police pursuit, the Sandman disappears into a conveniently-positioned truck marked: "Manhattan Sand & Stone Co." He emerges from the bed of truck looking, remarkably, like the Sta-Puff Marshmallow Man in the movie "Ghostbusters."
46:36: The Sandman escapes; since when did he learn how to fly?
57:00: Just as Peter's about to propose marriage to his girl, the whining Mary Jane reappears, dashing his plans.
60:00: Peter begins one of the movie's seemingly never-ending river of tears, this time when he finds out that Flint Marko is responsible for Uncle Ben's death.
63:55: The alien life form finally makes its intentions known (an hour after the movie starts); when it bonds to its host (Spider-Man) in order to survive, Peter becomes "Bad Peter."
66:06: Spider-Man pursues the Sandman who has just robbed a bank. They end up in a water cavern in New York City's underground, where Spider-Man unleashes a wall of water which turns the Sandman into mud, washing him away. Spider-Man thinks he's killed the Sandman, but isn't our hero smart enough to know that mud, once dried, turns back into sand?
1:14:14: After she's badly replaced in the play and then has to take a job as a singing waitress at the Jazz Room, a tearful, lonely Mary Jane loses herself in a crowded New York sidewalk. But she's not entirely alone, because many in that crowd, most of whom are wearing baseball caps, aren't moving. They're taking pictures and one guy even has a small camcorder aimed at our heroine. That crowd is filled with Kirsten Dundst's and Spider-Man's fans and paparazzi!
Those are just some of the inconsistencies in the first hour of a very long movie.