Mr. Sandman, Bring Me a Dream

Rating: 5/10 (4 May 2007)

Greetings again from the darkness. Being a fan of the first one and disappointed in the second, I had high hopes for this one ... especially knowing Venom and Sandman would be battling Spidey! Director Sam Raimi (responsible for all three and possibly a fourth Spider-Man movie) turns this one into every bit the mess that Sandman is as he is washed out through the sewer system. Too bad the movie can't resurrect itself. Three good things: the black suit, the first few scenes of Sandman and the great Bruce Campbell. The bad things: pretty much everything else ... except a couple of scenes with Elizabeth Banks and an almost unrecognizable Theresa Russell (as Sandman's wife).
Tobey Maguire just doesn't have the chops to pull off "tough guy" Spider-Man. Raimi knew this and tried to instill much slapstick. Instead, we just get a failed SNL skit. Maguire has the nerdy Peter Parker down, but his Wes Bentley look flops big time. Kirsten Dunst continues to flaunt the worst hair of any female movie star and is in jeopardy of having her potentially huge career as a real actress pass her right by. James Franco is his usual bland "little Goblin".
New bad guys include Thomas Haden Church ("Sideways") as Sandman and Topher Grace ("That 70's Show") as Venom. Church is very good, Grace is horrible. Ron Howard's daughter Bryce Dallas Howard is one of several excesses in the film, but it is nice to catch a quick glimpse of Willem Dafoe and an actual speaking role for creator Stan Lee.
By far the funniest part of the film is Bruce Campbell as the French Maitre d' trying so hard to make the evening romantic for Parker and Mary Jane. The best special effects are the first few scenes of Sandman. Most of the other special effects are way over the top and lose their effectiveness.
My absolute biggest complaint is the fact that every major character weeps like a baby at some point. Super heroes and villains shouldn't be weeping!! The amount of emotional junk included in the script is boring, poorly written and horribly executed. This gives the film a dragged out feeling and easily adds 25 unnecessary minutes to the film. Is it fun to watch? The action scenes definitely are. Is it a classic. Absolutely not. Please, Mr. Raimi, let the franchise rest in peace.