Cliché Like Your Mom Jokes

Rating: 3/10 (4 May 2007)

I have never ever ever seen such cliché crap on screen before. I don't know how much I will get bashed for commenting on this, but quite frankly, I feel obligated to warn any doubters about this movie.
From the "De-moleculizer" to the requisite snapshot in front of a flag, the clichés just keep rolling. After McGuire transforms into Emo-Parker, he proceeds to prance around the city with new found confidence. It all adds up to a jumbled mess as dark and dank as the subway system through which he fights the Sandman. Even Thomas Haden Church couldn't save his role with the few lines he was given, which sucks given his perfectly placed performance in Sideways.
The few bright spots in the movie come from brilliantly placed cameo performances from Stan Lee and Bruce Campbell. They hit their parts perfectly and it works like classic Raimi. Other than these and a couple of other comic relief moments, this movie just stunk.
It felt like the director and the entire production team just got high off the money they were thrown. *Snort* "Whoa you know what would be cool? How 'bout Spidey takes off his mask on EVERY BUILDING IN NEW YORK." *Snort* "Yeah, man. Then we can digitize those buildings ON FIRE." In summary, if you like to watch digital animation shots, go see this movie. If you like some sort of vestige of a plot or a cohesive film-making style, don't. Watch this movie at your own risk.