Third time's the harm

Rating: 3/10 (6 May 2007)

It's really painful for me to write this review. I think the first half of Spider-Man is nearly perfect. I consider Spider-Man 2 one of the greatest comic book movies ever made. I could not have been more excited for part three. After reading all the early reviews I prepared myself for the fact that this might not be as good as the first sequel. But I had no idea I'd be this disappointed.
But let's start with what works. There are some genuine and amazing moments in this film. The first half is loaded with them. Peter's backstage visit with M.J. after her show, sharing "their" kiss with Gwen Stacy, his thwarted proposal attempt, J. Jonah's first scene, and the first battle with Harry... these sequences are as strong as the best moments from the earlier films.
But even when it's working it's clear very early on that all is not right this time out. There's too much being crammed into too small a running time. All three villains are handled fairly well... but each one deserved their own film. We get one scene of exposition with our soon to be Sandman and his daughter and then she's never heard from again. Venom (who's never even referred to by name) is essentially just a cameo. And the New Goblin, who has the best character arc in the film, is simply building off the momentum the first two started. The story is ludicrous. It's filled with too many contrivances, coincidences, and plot holes. It's a mish-mash of half baked ideas never allowed to reach their full potential.
The whole marketing campaign is built around Peter's descent into darkness and the whole black suit affair. This literally encompasses two or three scenes in the film. That's it. It would have been a solid subplot had Harry been the only villain. Lots of parallels could have been drawn. Instead, we hear Peter talk about having all this power and never see him use it. In fact, the culmination of this descent is a ridiculous dance sequence that belongs in another film. Not a Spider-Man movie. And Tobey Maguire just does not pull off the bad@$$ type at all. I don't know whose idea it was to make an emo Spider-Man but wow... emo is probably the least intimidating look on the planet. The audience actually laughed every time he showed up on screen with his silly new hairstyle and (*shudder*) eyeliner. There was no fear on the audience's part for what Peter was becoming. It was the worst kind of hilarious... the unintentional kind.
I couldn't believe the leaps in logic the film asked the viewer to make. A meteorite from space carrying a deadly symbiote happens to land right next to the only super-hero in New York City? Sandman just happens to be chased into a molecular testing ground? Eddie Brock actually goes to church to beg God to kill someone? Harry gets amnesia just so they don't have to deal with his revenge subplot for half the movie? And how on earth would the butler have ANY idea that Norman Osborn died at his own hand? And WHY WHY WHY did he not tell Harry the second he became obsessed with killing Spider-Man???? And so much is left unresolved by the film's end. What exactly was Harry's plan before he redeemed himself? What happens to Sandman? Or Gwen Stacy? Characters and entire subplots are just dropped without conclusion right before the climax.
Venom is clearly not Sam Raimi's villain. And it's obvious he was forced upon him and not included at the director's will. There's no slithering tongue, no referring to himself as "we", and no reason it should have been just Topher's voice coming out of this alien looking creature.
Aside from the script, my biggest complaints are with the cinematography and score. Not once does this film ever achieve the scope the second film had. That one was beautiful, vivid, and looked like a comic come to life. This one looks dreary, claustrophobic, and very drab. And while no one can one up Danny Elfman, Christopher Young could have at least tried a little harder. He plays the "hero theme" every time Spider-Man swings into the screen, whether it's appropriate or not. The cue that plays during Peter and Harry's second fight is laughably inappropriate, and why at the end when Peter & M.J. are mourning Harry does the soundtrack blare some heroic and oddly happy piece of music? It does the worst thing a score can do... it contrasts to what's actually happening on screen and calls attention to itself.
How did three years and $300 million translate to something that feels so rushed and cheap? Again, it's not all bad. But there aren't enough great moments to make up for all the terrible ones. When it faded out and the credits started to roll I honestly felt like this was Sam Raimi's way of saying "I dare you to let me make another Spider-Man movie".
I love Raimi. But it's clear it's time for this series to let some new blood step in. It feels like he's all tapped out and a little bored by all of this. The passion that infused every scene of the last film is sorely missing.
I can't recommend this movie. And it's actually painful for me to admit that.