Truly awful

Rating: 1/10 (27 January 2008)

If you want a quick guide to various mechanisms employed in popular movies to contrive the plot, go see Spiderman and you'll get an absolute feast of them. The top prize must go to the totally unexplained and unrelated black stuff that took over Spiderman and others to turn them mean, I believe it is "deux de machine" - the hand of god, which refers to this kind of interference from without in order to move the plot in one direction or another. Then you have the more standard "got hit on the head and forgot I was your enemy now we can be friends again, until...it all comes back in a blinding flash" but then don't forget the butler who saw it all and convinces him his Daddy was a baddie after all - why didn't he tell me that before I turned myself into the next Goblin for goodness sake. Okay, maybe its not such a feast but those few are enough to completely ruin it for me. I was also drawn, by the lack of plot probably, to the fact that Toby Maguire simply can't act. I hadn't really noticed in the first two Spidermen (which incidentally I did like), but it becomes painfully obvious when Peter Piper loses his fiancé and has a slightly comical wry expression when he should be simply devastated. Why did they bother with this one, if they can't come up with a decent plot just leave it alone. And how did Toby Maguire ever get this gig? Surely there are actors who can actually act pouring into Hollywood on any given day, finding one with that combination of slightly geeky with his hair parted but bit of alright in a tight suit can't be too hard. Stay at home, and if at home, leave this one in the video shop.