See past the hype! Come on! You can do it!

Rating: 5/10 (8 May 2002)

*Possible Spoilers Alert!*
Good grief. I must be person number 12,438,957 to write a review, but I'll do it differently and won't use caps at all. Promise. Ok...let's get started.
This movie was done plain wrong. Firstly, Danny Elfman's score was irritating and very OTT. Couldn't they have got someone with some talent? The CGI was annoying to laughable at times, especially during the first part of the movie with Spiderman swinging across the city. He looked like a rubber doll. It actually rivaled "Blade 2" in the 'laughable' stakes. Admittedly the CGI did get a lot better later on. However, when Spiderman catches MJ when she falls from the balcony and swings through the air with her, I thought we were watching the original Superman again. There was quite blatantly a blue screen behind them when we go close up.

Onto the acting. Willem Defoe's portrayal of the Green Goblin was adequate enough, and I believe they chose him for the part because of his acting ability, especially in "Shadow of the Vampire" for which he was Oscar nominated at the time. His performance in "Spiderman" was similar in its sinisterness to his role in "Shadow of the Vampire".
Tobey Maguire is an astonishingly boring actor. Yes, he was good as Peter Parker because Peter Parker IS incredibly boring. Maguire is phenomenally lacking in charisma though, and I'm not sure he's that great a Spiderman. The feeling just isn't quite right.. That one is definitely open to argument though.
Kirsten Dunst had a 'nothing' part. I'm not even sure it's worth even mentioning her. I found it quite sad that a lot of people went to see the movie just for the 'wet top scene.' Perhaps it's because Dunst realises her lack of acting talent and needs another way to attract pre-pubescent boys. Her speech at the end of the movie is so hammy and poorly acted as to make the entire audience burst out laughing.
Strangely, the best portrayed parts of the movie belong to Peter Parker's aunt and uncle, who played the comic book parents perfectly. I thought they were excellent.
Now the movie...oh dear where do we start? There were so many problems with it! So many plot holes! So many! Why didn't MJ remove Spiderman's mask? Why didn't the Green Goblin remove Spiderman's mask when he had kidnapped him?! My oh my WHAT a plothole! What about the fact that Tobey can hold an entire box car with one hand, but can't kick the Green Goblin back to Neverland without a ton of difficulty. Also, the 'thwipping' through the city never fulfilled it's potential because it all moves so fast. Why couldn't they keep a static camera ever?! It just all moved too fast.

Another scene that stands out is when the Green Goblin 'vaporised' all the members of the board on the balcony - which too was ridiculous. There was no real feeling in that scene at all...they just all turned to skeletons. So pathetic! How about the slow motion punch at Spiderman which smashes the pillar, or the way Spiderman dodges the shuriken-like projectiles. "The Matrix" anyone?
The NY bravado on the bridge when Spiderman is holding MJ and the box car was also a waste of time and completely ridiculous, - as was the ending where Spiderman leaps onto the US Flag. I'm tired of this patriotic junk. I realise the bridge scene was added in to demonstrate the togetherness of NY after September 11th, but please...I just found it idiotic that they would throw fruit at the Green Goblin.
*Beginning to cry*
(at times) Sub par special effects, hammy acting, pathetic storyline. Since when can Parker shoot webs from his wrists? Perhaps Stan Lee was paid too much money to care for this adaption. I however, was less than impressed.
A wholly forgettable experience. As I look, Spiderman is number 84 in the top 100 films of all time and will probably rise higher as all the 12 year olds who see it in the coming weeks - rate it a 10. The world has indeed gone mad.
5/10