totally over-rated

Rating: 4/10 (16 April 2004)

Grade: 4/10
I've now seen this film approximately 30 times, and every time it comes on HBO I watch it, hoping I will like it more than during the previous viewing. Alas, that is not the case.
This film can be viewed as 2 separate parts: Peter Parker and Spiderman. The Peter Parker portions (say that 3 times real fast) are far and away the superior portion of the film. I enjoyed Peter's interactions with Mary Jane - Maguire pulls off the shy, nerdy kid really well. However, his relationship with Norman Osborn (Dafoe) always felt rushed and silly. Osborn tells him at the end, "I've been like a father to you." Huh? When did that happen, exactly? They have perhaps 3 conversations throughout the film and they're very brief and businesslike. I can't really imagine their relationship growing off-screen, either.
Another rush-job was Uncle Ben's death. Peter gets about 1 minute to see his uncle die. This could have been a very emotional moment in the film but I felt nothing, since their relationship wasn't explored enough, either. I guess it's excusable since the film was already very long, but Peter's relationship with Uncle Ben is what gives birth to Spiderman as we know him, so it should have been highlighted more. I should mention, however, that the champion of goof, Mr. Stan Lee, has his Spiderman "tag-line" appear far too often throughout the film, "With great power comes great responsibility." By the 3rd time I heard this I just groaned. How melodramatic.
Then we come to the 2nd part of the film, the Spiderman portion. At first everything's great as Peter learns to use his new powers. Unfortunately, it quickly transforms into a goofy-looking cartoon. I can understand CGI when Spidey is swinging through the streets of NY, but why must we suffer it during street-fight scenes? Spidey hops and floats around like he's 4 feet tall and fighting on the moon (is he related to Yoda or Gollum?). No matter how good CGI gets (and it's NOT good, in my opinion, except with junk like spaceships), one thing the effects folks haven't figured out is realistic human dynamic movement and GRAVITY. Perhaps, however, Raimi wanted Spidey to look like he had jelly-legs with springs inside...but I believe a talented gymnast and some well-choreographed rope-work (see for example the Matrix, but not crud like Charlie's Angels or Romeo Must Die - terrible rope work) would've looked a lot better, say, when Spidey fights off the punks trying to mug Mary Jane in the alley.
Last, we come to the Green Goblin, perhaps the corniest villain ever devised (second only to John Travolta's role as Terl in Battlefield Earth?). Everyone raves about Dafoe (and I personally enjoyed him in American Psycho), but he blows it here. Sad to say I liked Nicholson as the Joker better than Dafoe as the Goblin. The Goblin's dialogue is CHEESE, even to a five-year old. Dafoe is much more effective in his Norman Osborn role, when he's talking to himself/the Goblin. Also, his suit is ultra-goofy (designed for the military?!?! How about Cirque de Soleil?) and the fact that the mouth on his mask is fixed made me feel like the Goblin's dialogue was overdubbed (maybe it was). The overall effect is just plain silly.
I'm looking forward to Spidey 2, but alas, it looks like the effects will be no better. Oh, well, there's always Spidey 3, 4, 5...