Stunningly MEDIOCRE

Rating: 6/10 (30 June 2002)

Contains Spoilers
Having just returned from a 2nd viewing of "Spider-Man" (I initially saw it on its opening day of May 3), I was appalled how poorly this film holds up upon repeat visits. The first time I found it exciting, though not spectacular. The second time, I spent more time checking my watch and snickering at the movie's inadequacies than I did losing myself in this comic book world.
The truth is that "Spider-Man" is riddled with inconsistencies, plot holes and uninspired characters. Those who think that the dialogue in "Attack of the Clones" is bad should revisit the marble-mouthed conversations here. Peter's rambling to Mary Jane in Aunt May's hospital room is absolutely atrocious, as are most of their scenes together.
For the sake of brevity I will not list all the inconsistencies in the plot, but here are a few:
Uncle Ben's "Great Power" Speech - Where did this come from? What great power? Peter is a science geek all his life, then he knocks one guy down at school and all of a sudden he's got great power? I think not.
Uncle Ben's Killer - The criminal steals from two people: one is a burly middle aged wrestling promoter from whom he steals thousands of dollars, the other is a decrepit old man from whom he steals a rolling wreck of a car. So he only pistol whips the promoter, but has to shoot the old man? Yeah, that makes sense.
Pumpkin Bombs - Capable of vaporizing human flesh, yet when one explodes six inches from Peter's face in the finale, it only tears up half his mask. Guess latex renders them powerless. Right.
But the major failing of the film is this: TO WHOM IS THE GREEN GOBLIN A THREAT? His paramount concern is stopping a corporate merger? My God, how will the world ever recover?! Where is the grandiose scheme that makes the world recoil in fear? Lex Luthor wanted to sink California into the ocean. Magneto tried to turn every resident of New York City into a mutant. The Joker tried to kill the residents of Gotham with poison (twice!). But the Goblin? He's got a board of directors as his nemesis. Pathetic.
Which is not to say "Spider-Man" is all bad. The film is well cast with capable acting performances. J. Jonah Jameson is hilarious and some of the action scenes are genuinely exciting. The CGI works (for the most part) and Danny Elfman contributes a rousing score. But I get the feeling that every time I will see this movie in the future, I'll find more things wrong with it. What a shame.
Rating: 6/10