Truly disappointing and I'm not afraid to say it!

Rating: Null/10 (5 May 2002)

Possible spoilers below: Ok, folks, I'm gonna break this down. Don't jump down my back immediately. Listen to what I say and you may even agree. First, let's talk about super hero/comic book movies in general. I still have yet to see a film get it right the way the original Superman did. Christopher Reeve brought so much charisma to The Man Of Steel as well as Clark Kent, that BOTH personas were enjoyable. And as far as his nemesis Lex Luther, Hackman was superb. Where Batman missed was in the portrayal of the hero himself. The Batman series always seemed to mainly focus on the villains. Batman himself was always so flat and dull, that pretty much anyone could play him. This is why when Batman was replaced, not once but twice, nobody really seemed to mind. But every villain throughout the series was always played to perfection. The Joker, Riddler, Two-Face and Mr. Freeze were all my favorite elements of the films. Which brings us to Spider-Man.
I appreciate how much Raimi tried to stick with the comic book storyline, but I think his pacing was way off. The movie dragged so much, at times it seemed to come to a complete halt. The action scenes were far and few between, and when one actually occurred, it was never very exciting. Spider-Man's wrestling skills in the ring did not impress me one bit. Also, whenever he caught a "baddie" in the street, the scene was so quick, so uninspired and non-inventive that it played more like teaser trailer than the actual movie. The acting by Uncle Ben and Aunt May was hilariously bad, and Uncle Ben's death seemed awful heavy handed. The movie also had trouble finding its own tone and voice. It couldn't decide if it wanted to be campy fun or have a realistic feel. The film's attempt at adding a human element (Peter and Mary Jane's love affair) was a failed experiment; for the simple fact that J. Jonah Jamison (my favorite guy in the film) was played so campy and seemed right out of a comic book himself. And I just happened to have some personal questions of my own that were never answered. Why was Peter always late and chasing the bus? To show he was a geek? Hell, we could LOOK at him and see he was a geek. If anything, always being late for school makes you "cool" because it shows a lack of discipline and defiance in your character. How did Peter always have cameras set up to take photographs of Spider-Man in action? I know he has "Spidey Sense" but does that tell him hours in advance where crime would occur? Do people see him setting up these cameras? What happened to the spider that bit Peter? It was never killed. Suppose it bites someone else? And how did a geek like Peter become best friends with a millionaire like Harry anyway?
Spider-Man himself was played fairly well, but that's the easy part. Anybody could wear a costume and do some choreographed fight scenes-- it probably wasn't Tobey McGuire under the suit anyway. But my biggest problem was with the costume of the Green Goblin. Who decided to give him that metallic face? I was hoping for make-up, a moving mask, or some Henson-like puppetry. Instead we get a mask that hides his expressions; his lips don't even move. It's bad enough we have to look at Spider-Man behind a mask, but now his enemy as well? Come on! I also thought they went overboard with the CGI graphics. Many scenes resembled a video game instead of a movie. And did anyone else notice the lack of music in this movie? Many scenes were dead silent for long periods of time and when music did arrive, it was downright lousy.
Overall the film just didn't have enough attitude to me. It played things too safe. It didn't have the "oompf" of Batman, nor the charm of Superman. And what about that ending?? Parker tells Mary Jane he can not be with her. Why? He gave no reason. I thought he loved this woman. Instead he walks off and leaves her crying in the cemetery!! What kind of hero doesn't get the girl at the end? Lois Lane and Vicki Vale would not approve.
The only truly enjoyable scene in Spider-Man that I had no problem with was the parade scene. Fast paced, exciting and very good action. Oh wait...I did have one problem with that scene. They didn't kill Macy Gray.