Incredibly disappointing.

Rating: 1/10 (6 May 2002)

As a huge Sam Rami fan I wanted to like this movie, but I found it to be tediously predictable and poorly written. The characters were portrayed with such lack luster performances that I hope the franchise switches leading men and love interests as much as the Batman series. Even the visual effects failed to wow me (and were quite poor in many places). This movie might be a big bang right now, but I suspect that is more caused by the horrible movies that have preceded it this year.
My wife summed this movie up when she called it "Gumby versus the Evil Power Ranger". The CG Spiderman was more like Rubberman and the Green Goblin (both CG and Willem Dafoe) looked like he really belonged in an episode of the Power Rangers. The writing also took its cues from these two shows. One half corny jokes and silly gags and the other half being chessy cornball stuff that 5 years olds find funny but adults simply find inane.
The acting was atrocious. While I wish this film would mark the end of the careers of the untalented duo of Toby Maguire and Kirsten Dunst, I suspect I will be tortured by these two hacks for many years to come. Willem Dafoe should stop acting all together. He had one great role and simply diminishes it every time he appears in another role. I knew that this movie was going to be devoid of good acting when Sam actually hired Cliff Robertson. The only performance I enjoyed was the five minutes of Rami veteran, Bruce Campbell. His screen time was the only thing I liked in this whole movie.
The visual effects looked like Batman and Robin (which is not a compliment). John Dykstra needs to go back to flying spaceships and blowing up minatures. He has no talent for character animation. I was immensely disappointed with the whole look of the CG elements. The lighting was horrible and the composites rarely worked. In general, I am tired of the whole over exposed grainy look that so many of the recent visual effects heavy films are employing. I marvel at how rich and vibrant the colors are in all of the Star Wars and Indiana Jones films and how rarely we see that same look in films of that same genre.
This film is aimed at kids under the age of 10 (and adults who wish to harken back to a time when they were incapable of smelling a rotten egg). I would take my kids to see it because it does have a strong moral sense (sort of) and lacks the violence of usual action films, but then I would duck out to see Star Wars instead. I weep for the future of this industry if this is the kind of drivel that appeals to the public right now. Clearly the age of the popular and "good" movie may be coming to an end.
If I wasn't excited about Attack of the Clones, I can't wait now. I need something to clear the nasty taste that "Spider-man" has left in my mouth.