Overhyped, overrated, over-everything

Rating: Null/10 (27 September 2002)

Spiderman finally hit the screens this year, after a long wait and some CGI corrections to get the World Trade Centre out of it. And the longer the wait, the more eager people became to see it. When it was finally released, Hollywood seemed to celebrate, critics seemed to hail it and everyone was happy.
Everyone, that is, who does not mind watching a rubbish movie. The story of a geeky teenager who finds out that he has superpowers has been done before (Superman, X-Men). And, in light of recent comic adaptations, it was bound to be popular. However, there is little more to this story, apart from a vague wave at a Disney-esque "moral of the story".
So, let's compare this movie with X-Men. That movie was visually impressive, but I left the cinema feeling slightly unsatisfied. On second watching, I liked it better, because of all the visual style and the consistency, and the slightly darker edge of the characters. And perhaps I'm partial to the entire "segregation against mutants" backstory. How does Spiderman compare? It's pretty much the opposite. I left the first viewing feeling slightly bored and disappointed, but on second viewing I struggled to finish the movie. Too numerous and too blatant are the flaws. Ranging from overly traditional plotting with ultra-old-fashioned story features, to the kind of silly dialogue one would expect a six-year-old to write. One can almost see the producer's checklist: - embarassing discovery of superpowers? check - obvious, predictable humour? check - kid avenging death? check - Spidey-catching-lots-of-criminals montage sequence? check - dangers of careless scientists? check - helpless Damsil in Distress? Check, double check and triple check. - big showdown? check
The entire movie feels like a mixture of Superman (the newspaper setting, the powers, the geeky alter-ID), X-Men (the critical perception of the (in-movie) general public) and Batman (avenging relatives plot). In the 70s, such a movie would have been acceptable. But in 2002?
Spiderman is, and will always be, a kid's movie. It is a serious alternative to Harry Potter. But please, please don't pretend that adults can enjoy this embarassingly simple-minded, stupid stuff!