Sad, really.

Rating: 5/10 (9 May 2002)

This movie was a good example of how badly people can adapt things. David Koepp did a great job writing PANIC ROOM and STIR OF ECHOES and even JURASSIC PARK. But, what the hell was he thinking here? This is not a very good movie. And even if no one reads this review, be warned. Sam Raimi, the director of THE EVIL DEAD, was stupid to take this film into his hands. Or, maybe it was smart of him to do. Because so many people have seen this film. Most of them are probably little toddlers under the age of ten. That is the crowd this film mainly aims to please.
This whole thing is like one, long, stupid, dull episode of Power Rangers. Some of the dialogue just made me want to die laughing. EX. Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe) says to Spider-Man (Tobey Maguire) "This isn't over yet, we'll meet again Spider-Man". Now, tell me what kind of villain would say that in a film. The earlier X-MEN did a far better job of adapting a Marvel comic onto the screen, aiming to please audiences that weren't just ten and younger. David Koepp may be a great writer at coming up with original and creative ideas, but he should never adapt another comic.

The movie just got worse from then on. The only thing that saved this film was Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson and the dramatic and exciting action sequences (which is mainly when the cheesy dialogue is spoken). My other complaint is some of the unbelievable parts. (Read no further if you haven't seen the film) One part is when Spider-Man is holding on to a trolley car filled with little kids with just one arm while hanging onto a bridge with the other. Even if he is super-human and stuff, If he can get cut and start to bleed, then I would think that he wouldn't be as strong enough as to be able to hold up an entire trolley. And then there were the special effects. You could always tell that Spider-Man and the Green Goblin both were almost always computer animated. And it is so sad. It looks like they try to make them look computer animated here. They don't even want them to look real. What, is that the 'cooler' thing nowadays? If so, when did that happen?
I'll bet you fifty bucks that we're going to be seeing a trillion movies that try to rip-off the success of this one. I have already heard that a sequel is in the works. As if the first one wasn't bad enough, what's the second one gonna be about?
I just want to vomit at the thought of this movie being #95 on the best-picture list in the database. Surely you jest. Maybe the bottom films of all time. Now, the best thing that this movie has going for it is the fact that you will jump at one part. Some of the action sequences were okay too. Just a lot of bad dialogue and stupid acting. SPIDER-MAN: 2/5.

Oh, me and my friend died laughing at Willem Dafoe's two lines "I brought a fruitcake" and "I hope you enjoy the fruitcake".