Maybe they should make a superhero who has the ability to make a good movie

Rating: 1/10 (3 May 2002)

-contains spoilers-
Wow! What a waste of money, talent and film stock. Many elements have to fall into place for me to completely hate a movie to the point where I feel like setting the movie theater on fire. Where to begin.
Before the bashing begins, I will say Tobey Maguire was very believable as Peter Parker. Hhmm, that seems to be the only thing I can say that isn't snide or cutting. First off, Hollywood should now realize this whole "replace-the-human-with-CGI-effects" idea just doesn't work. It didn't work in Blade 2, and it certainly did not work in this film. Maybe imagination or blue screen acting would be more appropriate than trying to replace the human form with fake and awkward images of light and bit maps. It was like a bad video game. The dialogue also felt forced in many areas, especially when Parker tried to reveal his true feelings for Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst). They did it twice, and it still didn't work! David Koepp went from writing Panic Room to this slop! I haven't seen a dive like that since a Don King promoted fight.
Typically, I rarely put down music, but then again, I think its time for Danny Elfman to go on some reunion tour with Kajagoogoo or whatever the heck the name of that band was he played for. Its obvious he has lost his touch. In fact, this entire movie wreaks of Batman, which was a far superior movie.
The music was a blatant rip-off of Batman, and the movie even tried to rehash certain elements and moments. Let's see here: a chemical turns Willem Dafoe into a maniac, Dafoe's character trying to be nice to the superhero at the end before trying to kill the hero, the scene where the editor calls all of Parker's photos "crap" (which was exactly the same way Batman did it), the Green Goblin killing a group of people who want to rub him out of the picture (like the Joker and the other mobsters), etc. The similarities are far too numerous to number, the only difference is that Batman actually had some flair and magistry. This was nothing but a high, gloss picture with pretty images and mind-numbing editing techniques.
I should have stayed away considering Sam Raimi had directed this film, but for some odd reason, I decided to follow the crowd. The lesson: be yourself and watch something else.