Is Tobey Maguire dead?

Rating: 1/10 (10 May 2002)

Aside from the total lack of a believable plot, I wonder how Tobey Maguire managed to get through the entire movie while actually deceased. To expect us to believe that he would just accept a spider bite from a "super-spider" and not tell anyone is just asking way too much from anyone who has an IQ of at least 75. Also, Tobey's lack of enthusiasm is very contagious even to the audience. I wished that I were dead myself as he relayed to the fake redhead what he had told Spiderman about her. By the time he was done with his monologue I was ready to go ask the theater management for my money back. As the credits began rolling many began to clap and cheer for the movie. At this point I was helpless to hold back any longer as I yelled to the crowd: "Did you people actually SEE the same movie I just did?!"