what a debacle

Rating: Null/10 (28 June 2002)

***spoilers, maybe***
This wretched movie seems to have taken America by storm. Pity America.

It's difficult to know where to begin. The violence is amplified beyond belief and exquisitely irrelevant to the story and overpowers the characters. Compare with the first two Evil Dead films Sam Raimi made - superb, original movies with horror and violence in perfect balance. With Spider-Man, the violence is assaultive and pointless, given that kids are the primary target. Hey, I don't mind a good, bloody, violent movie, but this piece of junk is worthless to adults as a romance or as an adventure. So who is the audience? Trekkies in withdrawal?
The effects are fun but overdose heavily on CG - no stuntmen, by the looks. The script is rock-bottom. At every opportunity David Koepp inserts lines that are either corny (but not charming) or cliched. There is no character development. Peter Parker changes from a dope into a bland jerk in a red and blue suit instead of a hero. Why does he suddenly wisecrack ala Schwarzenegger? Why can't he get it on with Kirsten Dunst? Is it because he has eyes for James Franco instead? Watch this space - the sequel is on the way.
Tobey Maguire - I can see why people like him, but really, his performance was in complete monotone, as if he'd just been attending a Charles Bronson master class. Some of the lovey-dovey dialogue between him and Kirsten Dunst (especially in the hospital) was particularly awful - people were cackling in the theatre where I saw it. Still, he tried hard. Dunst - a thankless role but a good effort. But still forgettable. Some other actors in this film - who shall remain nameless - were inexplicably bad.
Spider-Man lacks completely the warmth and sincerity of Donner's Superman and the wicked humour and bleakness of Burton's Batman. Yet it rips off both films and even puts in jokey references to Superman AND Star Wars (of the "I am your father, Luke" variety). I thought the dark side to Michael Keaton in Batman was not entirely convincing, but how wrong I was after watching this.

Oh, and listen up, those who dream of the death of "political correctness" will be overjoyed to see two key scenes: (1) the wrestling sequence, where newly confident Spider-Man in his prototype suit baits the incumbent with an idiotic fag joke (jeez, we all laughed at that), and (2) when Kirsten Dunst is about to be gang-raped, and is saved by Spidey, and she instantly recovers from this everyday experience to kiss him passionately. Say boys, did you notice her wet shirt with protuding nipples? Just the ticket in the aftermath of a rape threat scene. Michael Winner himself couldn't have done better (though he tried real hard in Death Wish II).
When Spidey does his last little aerobatic display and lands atop a building with the American flag, I thought - hang on, have I missed something? Is there a reference here to something deeper? Like US foreign policy going berserk, what with all this "with power comes responsibility" stuff? Nah. Naaaah. Spider-Man doesn't touch the wealthiest, nastiest criminals; he sticks to folks who snatch bags from little old ladies. How charmingly naive. Just like the airbrushed twin towers: perfect for post-S11 America.

It is incredible to think that Stan Lee associated himself with this cynical film. It's a travesty. I just cannot believe that Sam Raimi, of all people, could go so corporate and trash the idea of Spider-Man.