MEDIOCRITY AT ITS PEAK!

Rating: 1/10 (10 May 2002)

I must admit I enjoyed the first 45 minutes of this film. I loved Tobey Maguire who was perfectly cast as the classic high school nerd. I loved watching him overcome the odds against the school bullies, and I liked the entertaining scenes where he is exploring his new spider-like abilities. But after that, saying that the rest of the film went downhill would be a compliment. Dull, predictable, terrible acting, and so desperately action-packed and backed by gaudy Hollywood special effects that it was sickening. I found the assaults on New York by the ?Green Goblin? to be violent, disturbing (especially after Sept. 11th), and offensive. I even had to wake up my slumbering buddy next to me so we could have a debate whether or not to leave the film. Basically, the people who don't understand the title to this review, love shows like "Survivor," drive an S.U.V. and thought movies like "Pearl Harbor," "The Matrix," and "Gladiator" were fantastic are going to be the people who loved this film. Yes, that's right, it's a film that targets the masses like no other, and apparently is playing many "film lovers" like puppets. Those who believe that this was the best film of 2002 (I'm not even going to discuss those who thought it was the best film ever made) need to catch the first ride out of the Texas trailer park and explore something called independent cinema--"Blade 2" and "The New Guy" aren't the only movies out right now. The only two elements where "Spiderman" had potential for decency were the special effects and the romance. The special effects were so visually flawed and half-assed that it became a distraction, and the romance, well; let's just say it wasn't top notch. The dialogue made me embarrassed to be sitting in the theatre, and the acting complimented this dialogue wonderfully-the only human touches this film had were intended to be as dull and straightforward as possible, but were only confusing--first Kirsten Dunst (M.J.) stands up for Spidey and likes him, and then she blows him off for half the film. And finally, after hours of agonizing torment, the makers of the film decide to end things by (SPOILERS AHEAD) having the obsessive Spidey actually TURN-DOWN M.J.'s confession of love--after hours of us knowing how much Spidey loves her, the film ends with "we only can be friends." I also loved the only scene in the film that involved a blur of ethnicity?the entire film is flooded with white actors, and I found it ironic that the only scene where minorities pop out is a rape-scene--that is until our hero conveniently comes to save the day! I thought this film was too bad for me to take the time to review, but I felt I had to attempt to persuade the moronic millions who claimed that "Spiderman" was a gem. HOPED I SAVED SOMEONE OUT THERE $10 and a few wasted hours!