Parker's awesome, but where's Spidey?

Rating: Null/10 (6 May 2002)

Spider Man's origin is told really well in this story, ending in an awesome chase as Spidey discovers his ability to weave between buildings and chases down his uncle's killer. Somehow, the Green Goblin battle doesn't quite mesh with that story, though it's got the right performances from Willem Dafoe and Tobey Maguire, as well as an innocent but sexy Kirsten Dunst.
One thing's missing. I, like many, was a huge Spider Man fan growing up for two reasons. On the one hand, Peter Parker was a nerd, like myself, who had to figure out what to do with an incredible gift, how to take advantage of it and use it wisely. Sam Raimi and Koepp get this down.
But the other reason Spider Man was awesome is his sense of humor: SPIDEY IS THE MUHAMMAD ALI OF SUPERHEROES. This is a guy who when he was dodging Doc Ock's tentacles, Electro's bolts, the Lizard's bites, or the Sandman's traps, was constantly ripping on them. He was full of pop references, and would sing as he swung. (Actually, maybe it was also due to growing up in the 80s when New York was a far more interesting place to be a superhero/villain than 2002.)
Maguire gets at Spidey's playfulness, but there's a whole lot of wit to this character that goes untapped (it's part of his nerdiness!) But I can't remember one good insult that Spidey threw in the whole story. The only real funny "Spidey" moment is when Tobey stands on the rooftop trying to figure out how the heck to get that web to start up again: "FLY, WEB, FLY! SHAZAM!" The rest -- sorry to say -- gives Spider Man the demeanor of Batman, when really it's in the tight spots that his mouth ought to run the best.
So, as the story of a beginning, a tale everyone should discover, Spider Man serves it up. As for you avid Marvel fans, I agree with another reviewer: X Men was a far more thrilling emotional and special-effects movie. Sam Raimi captures Peter Parker just fine, but until they get somebody like Jon Stewart writing the webslinger's 2003 dialogue, the world still hasn't met the real Spidey.