With apologies to the "Breakin'" Franchise . . .

Rating: 3/10 (1 July 2004)

I left the theater on hands and knees, laughing, after seeing Spiderman 2: Electric Bugaloo. Though the CGI looks incomparably better than the first movie, wherein Spidey looks like a cat toy flung about Manhattan, images alone do not a movie make. The absence of a plot made this movie a series of vignettes, loosely related, that in the end go nowhere and advance the hero very little. Even the bad guy really isn't that bad, though it is hard to be evil when you are only in the film for about 20 minutes.
To best summarize the movie in 10 seconds or less:
Spiderman: I don't want to be Spiderman anymore. (He's not.) (Bad stuff happens.) Peter Parker: I want to be Spiderman again. (He is.) (The Movie gets incredibly silly and ends.)
I did not fall asleep through this, however, because it appeared that Sam Raimi never spoke to a science consultant or the script writer had never seen a freshmen physics textbook. I was willing to overlook many typical errors that come in to play when "fusion" appears in the shooting script (magnetic fields strong enough to move cars downtown would destroy every computer in a 500 mile radius). However, when Harry opened his wall safe to get some "tritium" for Dr. Octopus I just lost it. When they suggested dumping the self sustaining nuclear reaction in the river I laughed so hard I cried. A fusion reaction is not a flaming bag of dog doo. It was the greatest blunder since Keanu Reeves outran a nuclear explosion on a motor scooter in "Chain Reaction".
Please Hollywood, if you want to have science as a plot point, either talk to a scientist or don't try to explain anything. "Back to the Future" was great because they didn't try to explain time travel. They made a Flux Capacitor. What did it do? Make the car travel through time. How did it work? They didn't try try to tell us. Why? Because it would discredit the movie and break the fantasy.
Fiction allows for the suspension of physical law. Unfortunately you must scrap this veil on reality when you try to explain away the magic. Good science makes for bad movies; keep the mystery intact.