It's a terrible joke... But thank you for coming.

Rating: 1/10 (3 January 2005)

I can honestly say that this was the WORST film I have seen this year. While I had some excitement for this film, due to the amazing sequel known as X2: X-Men United, what I actually witnessed was nothing more than an unlimited budget creating some of the least creative characters in film history. I had several friends tell me that this was one of the best "character study" films of the year. That this sequel was more than just good vs. evil, but also an inner dilemma between Parker's personal lives and that which he has been called to do. While this may have been the case, what actually translated onto the screen was a reassurance that Toby Maguire was miscast, Kirsten Dunst is loosing her sexual appeal (though Raimi felt enough self-guilt to place her in water to reveal her "bits and pieces" for the pre-teen in all of us), and that you can go too far with a villain creating a cartoon instead of a physically frightening creature.
So, where do I begin? At first I had hope, here we find ourselves following Peter as he attempts to get to work after noticing that he was running late. He has just a few minutes to deliver some pizzas (oh, how the mighty do fall) or he will be fired from his job. He apparently really needs this job, so he resorts to transforming himself into his alter-ego personality Spider-man to help him get out of the tight situation. While we are stunned by this cheap display of his super powers, we assume that it will show that Spider-man is a crafty guy. Immediately, we are proved wrong as Peter Parker is fired and forced to go back to his run-down apartment that he cannot afford. Instead of showing us a hero for children to look up to, we have a guy that says to the youth of our nation, be late to work, don't pay rent, and everything will be just fine. This is not the character that I was hoping for. This only leads us deeper into the mind of Peter Parker as he struggles to maintain a very busy life. Also saying to our children that if you have too much to do, please just give up. When life throws you lemons, go ahead and cry like the babies that you are, or at least like Toby Mcguire has patented.
Spider-man is not the hero for our youth. He is not the passionate crime-fighter that we have envisioned or at least that was drawn for me in the first film. Instead, Toby is given the possibility to "grow" his character and give him "5000 dimensions" that continually fail. He uses the technique of huge-teary eyes to portray the struggle that is happening inside of him. He never really feels strong. He never really makes a decision. He only does what the villain forces him to do. He continually remains indecisive and weak through all moments of this film. I lost respect of his heroine status. I instead saw him as this whiny kid that couldn't handle the pressures of the job that he was handed. He cries, and is wimpy instead of showing a true emotional struggle. This only proved to me that you couldn't take an independent actor, one that prides himself on the dramatic element, and give him a role in a huge-budget film. I once thought of this in the first film, but this sequel only proves my theory correct.
This goes the same for Kirsten Dunst, who progressively became uglier throughout the film and whose bosoms fluctuated in size in nearly every shot. She was drenched yet again for the pre-teen audience and for those that like to use the stop-motion feature on their DVD player. She was useless, and perhaps should be replaced for the third installment to this series. Finally, there was the unsupportive villain that seemed less "evil" and more like a cartoon Elmer Fudd, constantly messing up and not really causing any chaos or destruction. He didn't frighten the people of Spider-man's city, so why should I be frightened of him? Molina was horribly cast as Doc Ock, only proving that a large man with tons of robotic work can be evil, or at least try to be evil.
Finally, I would like to say that Raimi needs to go back to his roots. For me to ever be interested in one of his films again (especially after this sequel), I would need to see Raimi go back to his roots. He needs less money, better scripts, and an unknown cast that can prove themselves and try something new. All I could see in this film was the strong hold of Hollywood telling Raimi how he needs to create the film and what scenes would be needed to ensure tons of people going into the theater to give their money to these characters. It was sad, it was poor, and it was an inexcusable issue. Raimi is a "cult" film director that has eyes the size of Toby whenever money is thrown his way. This was a very poor film. It was exactly what Hollywood represents and the type of film that I despise. There was no substance, no structure, and nothing exciting about this sequel. It was, for lack of a better word, very poor. I am embarrassed to say that I have seen this film, and will deny it whenever anyone asks. This is my final word on this film. Good-bye! Grade: * out of *****