This isn't a movie, it's a two-hour video game trailer

Rating: 1/10 (1 September 2019)

This isn't so much a movie as it is a two-hour video game cut-scene. It's appreciated when a game goes out of its way to be cinematic, but a movie shouldn't look like a demo trailer. The more C.G., the quicker it ages; case in point - this hodgepodge from only 15 years ago. It's a commercial for the video games based on it. It's like one those 3 hour videos on Youtube where someone simply shows every cut-scene from a game all in a row. This isn't a display of competence, it's an empty, weightless, sterile showroom made squeaky-clean by the studio. A poorly-rendered vehicle collectively think-tanked in a board room meeting - basically it's the Karate Kid of our generation: trends, trends, trends - don't set, follow. Maybe later on the kids who saw this might have the decency to shake their heads and wonder, like so much other crap they enjoyed as seven year olds, how this was ever a thing to them.