The Amazingly Boring Spiderman

Rating: Null/10 (2 July 2004)

I hate to be a naysayer, but this sequel lacked anything to amount to amazing. For the most part the audience is made to witness the roller-coaster soap-opera love drama of Peter Parker and M.J., which never really sizzled, and is nothing more than the maturing of an adolescent crush. It's easy enough to fall in love, but it is doubly hard to maintain it, especially if one has to worry about their girlfriend or loved-one being kidnapped or continually threatened. I don't know about any other comic book fans, but I enjoy comics that are full of great heroes/villains, compelling story lines, and action that kicks butt. While SM2 did have action it was widely spaced between the slow-paced character development and love story scenes. In this regard, the screenplay writers seemed to have mistakenly decided to take a page from the Incredibly Dull Hulk movie. When the film finally did get to an action scene, the CG guys seemed to have experienced a short-circuit in their ludicrous inhibiter chips; the CG Spiderman appeared too 'rubbery' and the physics engine was ramped up to death-defying.
The first Spiderman film successfully avoided the pitfalls that have plagued the Batman franchise with superb casting, judicious use of believable CG sfx, and a storyline that adapted the original comic into a modern retelling while not sacrificing its essence. Basically, the film translated a comic book story into a cinematic vision that was nicely paced and well balanced; not too much story and not too much action  it was just right. Spiderman's origin was well defined and the villain had a convincing motivation. If you are a die-hard romantic, then I guess that this movie was for you.
While I found the internal character conflict of Peter to be compelling, I was more interested in exploring his potential darker nature. In the midst of tremendous financial pressures, somehow Spiderman is able to overcome his inner demons, unlike the tortured Doc Ock. Why not become what the cartoonish villain that the world believes him to be and embrace the darker nature of one who is endowed with supernatural abilities? I couldn't help wondering what the lesser mortals today would do if put in a similar situation. Ergo, the quintessential lesson of Spiderman.
As for the villain, I found Doc Ock a little hollow. If you can get past the implausible techno babble about controlling a sustainable fusion process using cybernetic limbs fused to one's spinal column (I guess he never thought about how to program their cyber AI), I found Doc Ock's motivation a little lacking  as brilliant as he is he is rather single-minded in his obsession for his latest science project. Why is he not more tormented by the loss of the great love of his life? Sadly, this story element was quickly dropped and nothing valuable was learned.
Other Observations (Potential Spoilers):
01: The Uncle Ben moment. I presume that every good jedi hero needs a consultation with their mentor, but I found the 'John Edwards' SciFi Channel reunion kinda weird. 'Use your spidey sense Peter!'
02: Yoko Ono rendition of the 'Electric Company's' Spiderman theme song. While scenes where an Asian woman (probably left over from 'American Idol'  I guess William Hung was too busy) delivers a quirky version of the old Spidey them song, it was about as enjoyable as listening to fingers scratching across a blackboard  and we got to hear it twice! I won't be running to the record store to pick up this single.
03: Elevator scene with comedian Hal Sparks. If the best thing that the screenplay writers could think of for scene interaction between a talented comedic actor and Spiderman was to discuss crotch comfort while on an unusually long elevator ride, then I guess I missed the punch line.
04: Mentos anyone? The sappy scene where Peter Parker is walking down the street to the theme of 'Rain drops keep falling on my head' seemed out of place. I was half expecting Peter to jump into a cab and give the Mentos thumbs up.
05: From Russia with love? Other than milk and cookies, what's the deal with the Russian chick with the big zit? I hope she isn't intended to become some jealous villainess who strikes back in some "pimply" fashion!
Overall, I found the sequel to be a satisfactory filler. I would have enjoyed seeing more character development for Harry Osborn and not the occasional emotional outbursts. I am greatly anticipating the third installment with the foreshadowed appearance of the Hobgoblin. Hopefully it will focus on being a comic book movie versus more corny Spidey-love  imagine Spiderman trying to balance fatherhood and being a crime fighter! If you want soul wrenching depth and romance rent 'Romeo and Juliet'.