Damn these mis-guided husseys...

Rating: Null/10 (6 October 2002)

Back in the nineties, I was a self-respecting, free-thinking young woman who wasn't boxed in by stereotypes or other people's expectations. I didn't shout about it or shove down anyone's throat or claim to be the first women ever to have to have a brain. Neither did I make some crapper-than-Moonwalker, extended pop video. Who do those Spice Girls think they are? Only Michael Jackson?!
Next thing I know, Destiny's Child is telling me "It ain't easy being independent" and sexually frustrated men are telling me I'm trying to look like Lara Croft.
Exactly what is Girl Power? Should Powergen be worried? Is it a way of describing some sort of extra quality that women have that gives them the right to be loud, brash and irresponsible or is just some marketing-executive's dream sound bite?
Whatever it is, I can't escape it. The Spice Girls created a pigeonhole around me, made from a titanium-kyrptonite alloy. So damn you Spice Girls, damn your platform shoes and Union Jack dresses. Damn you're Prince-Charles-arse-pinching and Nelson-Mandela-flirting. Damn your eating disorders, fluctuating weight and inevitable, ironic spiral into self-obsessed media prostitution, that ultimately is a mockery of the whole empowered-girl thing, which will lead to a lonely end of an untalented career.
PS When will Mel C release the follow up to Northern Star? I totally loved the album!