Embarassing to watch, even more embarrasing to be caught watching

Rating: Null/10 (7 March 2001)

In 1997, you couldn't turn your heads round without seeing the Spice Girls on every crisp packet, sweet wrapper, and condom packet in the land (well, maybe not the last one). They were the biggest craze I personally have ever witnessed. After making two hit albums, they decided to have a go at acting, and made a film finally released in December '97 (I believe). I was too embarrassed to queue up to see it at the cinema.
In mid-'98, SpiceWorld was released on video in a range of special edition tins with all five members on. Quite ironic really, considering Geri had left the band in March. The woman at the counter couldn't help but chuckle as I'm at the counter with £15 purchasing this. Something tells me I should have worn a mask to hide my identity.
After seeing the film, I haven't seen it again. It sits on the shelf gathering dust. I'm giving it away at a car boot sale next week. It's an absolutely poor film. The Spice Girls are about as useful as actresses as a pea-shooter in a gun battle. The plot is absolutely hideous. Not that I can be bothered to remember any of it. Richard E Grant stars as The Spice Girls manager, who tries to stop some villains trying to make them look like retired amateur porn stars. Could have fooled me, they already do. The gags are so useless and make the five stars of this movie look total idiots. What's so frightening is, the gags are scripted! They actually rehearsed the jokes! Ohmigod!!!!
The media slammed this film and made The Spice Girls look like utter laughing stocks. No wonder you wouldn't recognise the remaining four tarts today.
1/5