"Can they act? Did anyone care if Marilyn Monroe could act?"

Rating: 6/10 (27 December 1999)

I was stunned to find the panning this film got. Okay, it's not high art, but it's a good laugh, surely?
One thing removed from this film in just two years is the veneer of satire. Released in England at a time when the media had begun a predictable backlash and the Spice Girls were about to jettison their manager, this tale of dictating management and not-that-subtle Robert Maxwell spoofs was vaguely on the money. Now that such things are behind the group, and they are indeed back in media favour (for marriages and babies more than the music, and without Geri) this edge is stripped from the film.
So, what are we left with? Well, the girls aren't about to threaten the Academy Awards, though "Baby Spice", who had acted professionally before the group, is noticeably stronger than the rest. Characterisation is strictly one-dimensional, with the constant "Gucci dress" fixations of Victoria and crowbarred-in football associations of "Sporty" the most irritating element. Suprisingly, the loudest member, Mel G, has the least material foisted on her, and takes the minor role in all the amateurish vignettes. Baby is allowed to smile cutely, and Geri is the brunt of a cavalcade of bra jokes. But this isn't so bad, surely? To spend 90 minutes in the company of five pretty girls, well, four pretty girls, three, well, two, surely, isn't so hard.
Unfortunately, the lack of on-screen presence the girls generate means that they have to be supported by a wide variety of actors, and even other pop stars that achieve a greater presence in momentary cameos (look out for the great scene with Elvis Costello, forced to work as a barman now times are hard). George Wendt, Richard O'Brien, Barry Humphries and even Meatloaf add an air of interest to proceedings, meaning that when the camera switches back to the stars it does tend to sag.
When the girls do start to get interesting is when they're performing their songs. Though as most of their songs are remixed or rejigged snippets, this would surely fail to attract the teeny-tot audience at which the film is primarily aimed. As I've said, there are moments of attempted satire, though these are less well-aimed barbs than poorly-aimed damp squibs.
Yet still I contend: songs, girls, Roger Moore sending himself up rotten and Richard E.Grant overacting enormously. Not a classic, certainly, but surely good for a throwaway laugh?