Rancid junk food . . .

Rating: Null/10 (15 September 2014)

'Spice World' spends 92 minutes going no place fast. Its like a bubblegum wrapper it's colorful and utterly useless. The Spice Girls don't sing very well and in this movie they don't sing very much. But if there singing is bland, their acting . . . well they don't really act they just kind of spout bad puns and giggles a lot. I saw them on a talk show just before I saw this movie and I swear it took me almost the entire hour to figure out which one was which.
Apparently an homage to 'A Hard Day's Night', 'Spice World' shows us a day in the life of The Spice Girls, a flash-in-the-pan British singing group that have no discernible talent. Their merchandise line includes albums, dolls, T-shirts, coloring books, mousepads, posters, stickers, mugs, bookbags, lunchboxes and on top of the pile 'Spice World'. It is as useless as those items and can be passed over just as quickly.
They are cheerful, positive, wear each other's clothes, sleep in the same bus, urinate together and have the moniker 'Girl Power' without ever stopping (at least in this movie) to tell us what that means exactly. They don't have time because the movie is more interested in dumb skits, idiotic sight gags, wasted supporting players (Richard E. Grant, Bob Hoskins, Roger Moore) and their pregnant friend who goes into labor for reason I have yet to figure out.
'A Hard Day's Night' worked because the Beatles were so much fun to watch together. George, Paul, John and Ringo had individual personalities and when we weren't watching them having fun together we got to hear some of the greatest rock and roll songs ever written. The Spice Girls are so lacking in personality that I swear after 30 minutes, the screenplay desperately tries to find something for them to do.
I didn't know much about The Spice Girls before this movie, and when it was over I still had not idea why they were so popular. I just recently learned that Geri Halliwell dropped out of the group and became the U.N. Goodwill Ambassador. She apparently decided that there was only so much that one could do with platform boots and a plunging neckline. Now that's girl power.