They've lost the plot....literally!

Rating: 1/10 (30 December 2015)

How to begin...where to start...
Well, as a 45 year old Bond fan I have to say I was really looking forward to Spectre but sadly I was greatly disappointed. You know, the kind of disappointment you feel when you're six years old and somebody buys you a sweater for Christmas? That disappointing.
In my opinion this is THE worst Bond film ever made. I'm sure many will argue that it's not as bad as X or that it's certainly better than Y but while there have been Bond actors that didn't work for me, and movies that were less than I'd hoped for until I watched "Spectre" no Bond film had ever bored me, I've never sat wishing for the end of a Bond film before.
So lasting was the impression on me that now, two days after seeing it I can't even remember how it ended.
Every action sequence feels like an afterthought and they all feel like you've already seen them. What should be a big part of the appeal of any Bond film, actually left me rolling my eyes, thinking, "Oh look...they remembered it's an action film for five minutes". They just feel like they've been squeezed in for the sake of having them there.
The flow of the film is awful, we have Bond popping up on an a light aircraft to engage in a car chase (?!) except....where did the plane come from and how did he get on it and...and...and. At one point the actors appear to change outfit almost with every change of camera angle which is fine but....they had no luggage. Yes, things I wouldn't have thought about had I been engaged in the movie just added to the irritation.
How is it that two women with every reason in the world to hate our beloved Mr Bond....just wither into his arms and his bed? OK so one didn't like her husband but having a quick bunk up with the man who killed him just after the funeral...are you sure?
I was left thinking this film is just a waste of everything involved. I've liked Daniel Craig as Bond to the point where I've wrestled with my prior belief that nobody would ever top Sean Connery but "Spectre" wasted the chance to cement his Bond legacy. It wasted the Bond "brand" and it wasted my time watching it.
While I'm on about "waste". Aston Martin created arguably the most beautiful Bond car ever...a stunning vehicle, but....they wasted it. The obligatory car chase was everything a car chase ever is but as the machine guns smoothly emerged from the rear end of the car you feel the pang of nostalgia for the old DB5 but as soon as your hopes are up the "no ammunition" warning light flashes, the guns disappear and it's gone...as is the car shortly afterwards sent to the bottom of the river.
The biggest waste of all, was one of the biggest reasons I was looking forward to this movie.
Christoph Waltz...the man who, in my humble opinion, created the greatest ever movie villain in Hans Landa was given far too little time and far too little to work with in terms of script to create anything remotely menacing in (cue trumpeted fanfare) the worlds greatest super villain, the master of disaster, the...aaah you get the idea. The man who, on top form, has the ability to have rescued "Spectre" from the mire is given little more than a cameo.
I could go on for days about this movie and never get to a positive. Sadly the budget appears to have been given to a committee who were given a Bond check list (helicopter? check! car chase? check! bedroom scenes? check! etc etc) and once the boxes were all ticked...job done!!
In summary, it's a poor effort almost from start to finish. Everything you'd expect from a Bond movie is in there, but none of it feels like a Bond movie. If you're a fan of 007 films you will no doubt watch it anyway, but I would suggest you find a way to watch it for free and be prepared for two and a half hours to feel more like four.