God awful.

Rating: 3/10 (27 October 2015)

I'm not sure I understand the fanfare this film has received. An avid Bond fan, love pretty much all of the films, as even the bad ones have redeeming features or scenes or at least ideas that were unique even if they failed in their execution.
Spectre?
I liked the first two and a half minutes. A gorgeous continuous tracking shot in a very Bond-familiar setting.The following 2 hrs and 30 minutes are basically a straight to DVD fan made Bond homage cliché-fest with zero substance and a confused identity.
I have never done a review on here, but I felt strongly enough to tap this out. This is a bit of a bullet point review, I am not auditioning for a Journo role.
The film had zero momentum, no driving force behind it, an elusive and rarely mentioned plot by the baddies to install some surveillance around the globe in an apparent terrorist plot but this barely gets a look in, probably because its not a very interesting threat for a Bond film.
The script was abhorrent, terrible wit, forced humour and boring dialogue that lacked any kind of conviction. This could be down to the overall pace of the film, or some terrible editing as most of the performances were good.
To add some praise, the DB10 was glorious to look at, Craig was the best thing in it by a country mile. Even the lick-spittle Tanner got a look in and this was a benefit. I felt sorry for Monica Bellucci, Ben Wishaw and Christopher Waltz as the script and plot ruined one of the most tantalising castings in recent years, not that any of them put in sub par performances. Another positive is the return of the barrel-walk-shooting-blood scene (I don't know the correct term) that was traditional for a Bond film upon the opening credits, this had my hairs standing on end, it was not to last.
The rest of the opening scene was extremely boring, with a mix of polystyrene concrete blocks and 1980's helicopter CGI-anti climax with an oddly long pause between the scene finishing and the title sequence starting.
The title sequence was entirely forgettable, aside from the brilliant Bond theme by Sam Smith (whoever he is!).
The car chase was probably the most boring outing the cinematic world has ever seen, there was no tension, no suspense, no sensation of speed and it all seemed rather pedestrian if you excuse the pun. It felt slow and just a couple of cars driving down the road with the occasional corner thrown in whilst Bond made a few calls on his phone.
Throughout the film the score didn't seem to match the scene, notable absence in scenes needing music and scenes that had dramatic music of unimportant bridge shots of people walking/driving somewhere. Very peculiar.
The love story was utterly ridiculous, I love you (met you five minutes ago) I hate you, I love you, I hate you, I love you but I can't be with you etc. Love story is an obvious nod to OHMSS but even Lazenby made you believe he loved Ms Rigg!
The baddies: Waltz was as scary/intimidating/villainous as chips. The secondary bad guy was no real addition to the plot and his demise was silly at best. The Jaws-esque brick outhouse was under used and a bit comical, but not in a delightful way like Jaws was. Blofeld's lair was like a paint tin factory in Castle Bromwich and he borrowed his main control room from Elliot Carver.
The entire thing was predictable, the twist lacked any kind of development or punch. It just kept going on and on and on. It ended about 4 times but sadly it just kept going, presumably priming us for the end scene which I think has to be the worst in Bond history.
For the love of god, please leave the DB5 out of it, I was hoping seeing it blown to smithereens by the wonderful Silva in Skyfall that we could put an end to nostalgic "Oh look its the Bond car - John Barry-ness ensues" nonsense that seems the need to come out in every outing now. Its dull sorry!
But this is the films biggest problem. It was a nod to all previous Bond films including Live and Let Die, Dr No, World is Not Enough, Tomorrow Never Dies, Living Daylights to name a few. It didn't seem to have a feel or identity of its own.
I was heart broken watching this, I hope this is Mendes's last effort as I think we have reached the time for new ideas and blood in the franchise.
I'm also not kidding, the end is really, really, REALLY bad.