Mixed Emotions

Rating: 1/10 (10 November 2015)

Spectre is a mess. The movie opens with a rolling shot in Mexico which is stolen from legendary Orson Welles' Touch of Evil opening scene (youtube it).
SPOILERS AHEAD: Then we head off to Rome. A car chase with the two sexiest cars on the planet is ruined by the music, i would rather hear the cars! The music in general is straight out of Skyfall which isn't a bad thing because it creates a link to that film.
Sam Mendes enjoys ruining every scene by having two or three story lines happening at the same time and all edited into each other. Such as in Skyfall, the opening scene had Bond fighting on a train, Moneypenny doing her best school run in a Land Rover and M in London shouting into Bond's ear every 2 minutes. 3 things all happening at the same time! Spectre is no different.
Biggest irritant of Skyfall and Spectre is how slow the dialogues are. It seems ages for the next person to speak/reply. Bond says something in his slow manner then you could go and make a cup of tea come back and you wouldn't have missed the reply by the other character. the gaps are so wide it annoys me. This is acceptable and usually happens in theater because it is live, there are nerves, distractions or even forgetfulness but it is so dull in a recorded motion picture. it should be fast and draw you in, keep you interested.
Spectre is like a fan-made bond movie edited with an episode of Spooks (UK TV series).
The movie has some witty moments and dry English humour which adds to the film but the whole film feels badly made and cheap. Where did all the money go? The script isn't as bad as i was expecting it to be after reading some early reviews. It had its clever moments but silly and simple mistakes were made. Better word choices would have lifted the film. It all seemed so rushed.
The title song, not that it matters, was beautifully written and the instrument arrangement was spectacular but the vocals were painful to the ear. It wass like listening to opera at the wrong speed.
The cast look old and tired. They all seem bored. This could have been an excellent movie but it doesn't bother to be one, it's a new uber-hyped Bond movie, everyone will go to see it even if you tell them it was rubbish. There are enough hardcore Bond fans around the world to make its money back without having to try much. Bond movies have a formula and that appeals to many.
Lets face it Bond is a killer and we enjoy watching him kill in the name of 'good'. It is our fantasy world where we celebrate cold blooded murder in the name of politics and national security when lets be honest here, there is no threat, what do we care if someone wants to takeover a pipeline or water company in the middle of nowhere.
Bond is starting to show its age and they are running out of ideas and the fact that we don't have any real enemies anymore, Bond seems useless as ever. It worked well during the cold war but now this illuminati chasing Bond is having a hard time. So now we have become more interested in Bond's past. To be honest I couldn't care, i would rather be entertained at the cinema.
Skyfall was awful but visually it was stunning, Spectre is similar but doesn't look half as good as Skyfall. You could edit both movies into one then you might have a half decent Bond movie.
The ending of Spectre is tragic, it is so terrible it angers me just thinking of it. How the hell do you shoot down a helicopter half a mile away with a .380auto gun?! What were they thinking of! But then again this movie has a storyline stolen from Austin Powers, that says it all.
Mr Waltz was poor and very one dimensional, he just didn't come across as someone with a painful past or evil tendencies. He did it well in Inglourious Basterds though. (Being Austrian and wearing a German uniform naturally added to the part) Please let this be Sam Mendes last Bond movie, he still thinks it is 1935, i want to see an ultra smooth ultra modern Bond. Makes no difference to me personally if Mr Craig does another one or not but if i had to choose, i hope Spectre was his last.
I give it a 1 for the crew who were the real talent of this movie, their work and effort is visibly enjoyed.
The next Bond movie must update the character, a young bond, perhaps introduce a female '00' to work with 007. No more DB5, give him a current vehicle, doesn't even have to be an Aston, maybe an AMG Benz. Get rid of the .380 peashooter. Give Bond a Glock 43 or a Beretta Nano. Make him in his late 20's add some youthfulness to the franchise, and no more bedding every woman he speaks to for 5 minutes.
okok i'll shut up now, just frustrated with all of this 'real bond' nonsense.