Go Watch Rogue Nation Instead

Rating: 5/10 (8 March 2016)

I wanted to like this movie. I really did.
As any readers of my blog know, I adored Skyfall. It is one of my favorite action movies of all time. And it's not like they couldn't have given it a good sequel. It's not one of those stories that just ends, making the creators scramble for sequel material. I had a couple theories on where they could have gone, and one of them was right. The general idea of this film is actually not bad. It's the execution that sinks the ship.
There are a lot of things wrong with this film. The characters aren't as flashed out as they should be. The pacing is bad. Some of the acting is terrible. But the main problem with it is its refusal to offer anything new and different. After this long (140 minute) movie, I don't feel like I've seen more Bond than I had before I watched it. I'd have been better off watching Skyfall again.
All the themes are repeated. All the arcs are repeated. All the plot points are repeated. This feels like a pastiche of all the other Bond movies stitched together by some decent Mendes directing and some decent cinematography.
Except it's worse than that. It's like someone took Skyfall, somehow made it lousy, and injected some Roger Moore-era Bond to it for no apparent reason. It's like Skyfall came into the doctor for a checkup and ended up having its arm replaced with its leg. I can't quantify what they did this.
No, it's not a total disaster. There are some legitimately funny moments, and there are some legitimately dramatic moments. But instead of working with each other, as they do in every good comedy-drama, they work against each other. It's like putting fire and ice in a room together and telling them not to blow each other up.
Somebody needed to burst onto the set and tell everyone that Roger Moore's Bond and Daniel Craig's bond do not go well together. They go together about as well as The Revenant with Crocodile Dundee. The drama drains the comedy, and the comedy drains the drama. This causes a lot of problems, but not are more serious than the fact that it simply produces an unremarkable film.
There were times when I checked my watch and wondered when it would end. That is not something you are supposed to do when you're watching an action film. Action films are supposed to excite and involve, whether they're good or not. That this film could not even manage this simple task is not a good thing.
One personal problem I have with the film is how ridiculous Bond's capability is. I'm not saying it's too high or too low; I'm saying it fluctuates way too much. He can't be zipping around like a superhero one second and suffering like he's in a survival movie the next. It strains credibility.
That's one of the biggest problems with this film as a whole, now that I think about it. Nothing about is credible. I don't believe anything the characters are saying. They could be saying the exact opposite, and they would be more believable. The absolute worst offender is a character named C, who is terribly written and not well-acted enough to cover up that fact.
If you're a Bond fan, you'll probably find this film all right. If you're an action movie fan, it's worth a watch. Otherwise, I would suggest doing something better with your 140 minutes.