Daniel's Die Another Day - Craig bows out in a bizarre, disjointed and meta-movie that's also fun and enjoyable

Rating: 7/10 (27 October 2015)

The 'Craig years' started out as a reaction against the campiness of Brosnan's 'Die Another Day' and though daring initially it is a difficult tone to sustain for a franchise like Bond. As ever revolution breeds counter-revolution and a whole host of new pretenders have been packing in cinemas with their defiant cry of 'old school Bond is best!' With 'Fast and Furious' 'Kingsman' and 'Mission Impossible (4+5)' biting at their heels, some serious script rewrites have taken place and a massive change of tone introduced for this fourth 'new continuity' Bond. What we have is a strange, bizarre, almost surreal film that plays out like some odd Bond fever dream that you keep expecting him to wake from back into his bland reality, walking a tight rope between seriousness and outright parody, the latter very often resembling 'Austin Powers'.
The story is already very well-known both via a leaked script and the spoiler filled trailers and publicity materials. Bond follows a lead from the recently deceased 'M' (never mentioned in Skyfall) to chase an Italian hit-man named Marco Sciarra in Mexico and after getting into trouble with the new M goes to Rome where a very brief seduction of Monica Bellucci (why do Italian actresses only get bit parts in modern Bonds?) leads to a Spectre meeting where he meets his long lost adopted brother Christoph Waltz who is now going under the name Blofeld and after the much publicised Aston vs Jaguar chase through Rome he follows a vague lead to find former enemy but now actually all round decent good guy (?) Jesper Christensen who puts him onto his shapely daughter and MI4 hand me down Lea Seydoux at the Piz Gloria clinic and after a plane-car chase through them mountains they go to Tunisia where, after some romantic train sex and a Jaws style train fight with David Bautista, they follow leads to Blofeld's high-tech base in a hollowed out volcano Meteorite crater from where he plans something to do with absolute surveillance but is never clear. It's all about getting back at Bond for stealing daddy's love etc, then the extra finale in London which gets sillier by the moment then the oddest ending ever in a Bond which literally says 'Craig's done and he's leaving the building. Goodnight everyone!'
There is plenty of action this time around but despite being 'old school' and spectacular, there is a lack of genuine thrills. The helicopter fight, the car chase, the plane chase, the train fight, the exploding villain's lair, final against the clock battle and boat-helicopter duel all feel well, 'ordinary' and bland. You watch them nodding your head then carry on with blood unpumped and nerves unjangled. Maybe it's Newman's poor score (great composer but not for this sort of thing) or Mende's lack of action experience but it makes what ought to be incredible just OK.
There are endless nods and namechecks to previous Bonds, in fact half the film is just Bond namechecks and though it's fun as a Bond lover to spot them they don't actually add up to anything fresh or original. They ought to be creating NEW iconic Bond moments here, not just repeating old ones! Plus there are influences from all over the place, mostly 'Austin Powers' , not only in the meta-parody nature of much of it but also in the relationship between Dr Evil and Powers which is pretty much how the official 007 series now replays Bond and Blofeld! – As in the previous 3 Craigs a 'villainous plot' is barely even existent, something to do with 'worldwide surveillance', causing terror attacks to convince governments to sign on to the world wide spynet he is building etc, all recycled from other similar fashionable 'conspiracy theory' ideas, a flogged horse now not only dead but in advanced stages of decomposition! Not that it matters anyway and it's just an excuse for Bond and Blofeld to trade handbags at fifty paces. – Gadgets are back as is an iconic tricked out car and an exploding watch plays a key role and best of all, the long removed 'Gunsight opening' is back at the start in its traditional glory so HURRAY and about XXX time! – There is also a more traditional Bond opening titles sequence with a shirtless Craig, sexy women, octopuses and more octopuses, women becoming octopuses, being held by octopuses and dancing on octopuses featuring Sam Smith.
Acting is fine. Craig is now playing the old 007 and is not too bad at it, less brooding more fun. Lea Seydoux makes for a good old school spunky and resourceful Bond girl and fares well in drama, action and romance moments. Monica Bellucci is only a cameo really. David Bautista is similarly underused playing a mute Jaws style killer and frankly any muscular man could have played his role, a pity given what he showed he could do in GOTG. Waltz simply camps it up hence the Dr Evil comparisons but how could you play Blofeld straight these days anyway? The rest of 'team Bond' are on form and get to do their own thing throughout the film.
Totally different from the previous Craigs, this is both his Swann-song (literally) and a turning point as Broccoli and Wilson ask 'Quo Vadis 007?' from here on in. Let's hope they decide to go forward into the future to make new adventures and not just back to revisit what has already been again.