I don't like Braveheart much either.

Rating: 5/10 (28 November 2015)

I don't want to come across as a philistine, but Spartacus doesn't half go on a bit and is one hell of a downer. I know that the film is intended to make the viewer feel inspired by the indomitable spirit of man in the face of terrible persecution and oppression, but after three hours of such, I found myself struggling to care. The dull political machinations of the Roman senate and the aimless wandering of the slave army do little to help matters; I've never been so grateful for an intermission (the DVD retains the original mid-movie break, during which I splashed my face with cold water to wake myself up).
It all starts off well enough, with slave Spartacus (Kirk Douglas) sent to gladiator training camp, where he gets a crash course in survival before escaping his confines to lead others in revolt. But then it really starts to go pear-shaped, star Douglas doing his utmost to outdo Heston in the historical epic stakes by spouting over-sentimental, moralistic dross about the importance of freedom in countless maudlin scenes that virtually deify his character—after which he lets down his thousands of followers by leading them into battle against the Romans like lambs to the slaughter.
The best thing about Spartacus is its impressive cast, which not only includes heavyweight performers like Olivier, Laughton and Curtis, but also includes tens of thousands of nameless extras, allowing for some wonderful vistas of the Italian countryside swarming with slaves, and a brilliantly staged (and brutal) battle scene, proving that, as clever as CGI is these days, nothing looks better than the real thing. Peter Jackson, eat your heart out!