White's Right. Right Walt?

Rating: 5/10 (3 January 2012)

(WARNINGThis is the Adult Disney Review Series. I have 51 Original Disney Cartoons to tackle, plus multiple – and forgettable – direct-to-Disney-Video misses. My goal in 2012 is to brave the task of watching all, many for the first time and commenting on eachall with an adult POV. Now, as soon as I can find an adult to do just that)
Ahhh Number one. Snow WHITE and the seven "little men." Like Walty Boy isn't trying to say something there. Don't count him out of adding subliminal messages throughout his works. And I'm not just talking about the Little Mermaid's Little Penis. I'm talking even smaller, as in using the phrase here "Jiminy Cricket" (repeatedly) or his hatred for things, well, not (snow) WHITE.
Admittedly, I'm not the hugest fan of this animated film. Sure, it's groundbreaking, for 1937, and against all odds, they made the first (of thousands) of feature-length animated films. Keep in mind: just because a movie's a milestone doesn't mean it equates greatness.
Example? Episode IV, A New Hope, formally just plain Star Wars. Sure it was ahead of its time, light-years, in fact, but wasn't it a fraction of the movie, Episode V, The Empire Strikes Back, formally just plain Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back?
Why was this, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, not the "Great" movie tons of critics attribute it to be? Oh, I don't knowbecause there's a lot of racism in here – from mocking the Chinese to the Native Americans? Because the lead singer (and voice) of Snow White sounds like she's sucking on chestnuts (not the dwarfs, I hope) whenever she opens her lips? Or is it the painful pacing?
That last one got me. Sure, they wanted to make the first full feature length cartoon, but it still felt like a couple-of-minutes-long short stretched far too long in most scenes. It is said, in the truthful, and masterful sometimes Walt Disney-HIMSELF!, commentary on the DVD, that Walt wanted only scenes that enhanced the character development. Unfortunately, it still felt like scenes dragged longer than they should.
I'll give it creativity. It's beautiful for what it was trying to be. It's also VERY adult. There's more than one scene of someone trying to kill someone else. Only, the Queen's evil plan was a little misconstrued. See, she sends her minion (apparently, she's just got one servant) to kill Snow White so the Queen can retain the "Fairest of them all" status. But then, she spends a good portion of screen time to transform into an ugly hag in order to trick Snow White into eating an apple and fall asleep. Luckily the writers caught the obvious flaw of a cure, but not the fact that there were plenty of opportunities for the witch/queen to simply stab the beauty instead of just putting her to sleep.
More things that irate me: Grumpy, apparently one of the "main characters" – due to a higher amount of screen time than many of the other Smurfs in the movie, is a dick. Plain and simple. Sure, he evolves and Snow White spends a good portion of the movie attempting to get him to like her. But, he's still a nasty character in any lighting. Also, the extremely over-dramatic Snow White is no princessshe never, EVER, shows appreciation for any of the nice things anyone does for her. I.E. the animals bend over backwards to find her shelter. She never, ever offers or says: "thanks." The dwarfs care more about her than themselves in many occasions, such as places to sleep or when she "eternally" sleeps, and when she awakes, it's all about her wishes. Bitch.
For die-hard Disney fans, it's a watch. It's not terrible; it's a good beginning and despite its flaws, I'm glad they (and the box office) had faith in Walty Boy to grant him further production deals, leading up to Disneyland, et al. Just don't be proclaiming it the "masterpiece" that people on the surface call it.
Nowonto Pinocchio