Terrific Wacky Heist Movie As Cockney Geezers Scramble For Stolen Diamond

Rating: 7/10 (21 August 2005)

A huge diamond is stolen in a heist in Antwerp and taken to London, but winds up in the hands of three petty crooks, who fall foul of a local gangster. Meanwhile, a street-boxing promoter hires an unlikely gypsy to take a dive in a match organised by said gangster. When he wins instead, things turn nasty. Also involved are a dodgy diamond merchant, his American cousin, a Russian gun-runner and a manhunter. Much confusion ensues.
Writer-director Ritchie's second movie is a terrific gangster farce, a violent Cockney version of The Pink Panther, as the jewel passes back and forward between various unwitting characters with great names like Franky Four Fingers, Doug The Head and Bullet Tooth Tony. The wonderful script weaves together two separate story lines and a dozen different main characters so swiftly it leaves you gasping. The cast are fantastic, if only for their sheer variety; Statham is wonderful as the milk-drinking, much put-upon Turkish, and plays the whole movie with one amusing expression of slightly confused irritation. Ford, as arch-villain Bricktop, complete with yellow teeth and Health Service glasses, is a stunningly evil geezer, whose speech on the practicalities of feeding dead bodies to pigs is one of the film's highlights. Pitt is memorable in a flashy part as the incomprehensible bare-knuckle boxer ("D'ya loike dags ?"), and Graham, Farina, Jones and Reid all lend great support. Filled with eye-popping moments and lots of snazzy dialogue ("Who took the jam out of your doughnut ?"), this a terrific, hilarious, supercool crime caper filled with an irresistible gallery of lowlifes. Never bet against a gypsy.