Fairytale Logic

Rating: 1/10 (5 September 2009)

What can I say? This film is basically a remake of "Aladdin" with realistic touches. There is a poor guy. He is beaten and tricked a lot by erroneous relatives. He meets a smiley magic man with a beard. He comes close to good fortune. Good fortune is taken away from him. He gets back his good fortune. He gets his princess. He leaves happily ever after.
There is not a single God or Hero of Indian myth - whether Hindu, Buddhist or Sikh - who relies on 'destiny' to help them. This film is a twisted attempt at shielding third-world tragedy with Western consumerist dogma. Guess what? You are not able to eat three fat-laden meals, daily, and watch crappy movies and f*ck about with valuable time and money on the internet because 'It Is Written'. You are able to do these things because you live in a corrupt society fuelled by wealth amassed from enslaving innocent people and despoiling other civilisations because - guess what, again? - some b*st*rd with a book with a cross on it said that 'It Is Written' that these things must happen.
This film won an Oscar for the same reason as Titanic, Benjamin Button, and dozens more - because it depicted a tragic situation, but made sure the audience didn't get to feel guilty about preventing it from happening because it was fictional.
F*ck Danny Boyle, F*ck the Academy, and F*ck anyone who thinks this Capitalist pat-on-the-back belongs anywhere but the fire.