Krusty presents: The Cheesy and Schmaltzy Show.

Rating: 1/10 (18 May 2009)

Since it received no less than 8 Oscars, I foresaw that Slumdog would not be of my liking, but I was frankly still baffled that the picture did not even meet my poorest of expectations, turning out to be just another overcheesed melodrama and an altogether quixotic mess of a film.
With leads totally bereft of any charisma and zero chemistry between them, I progressively wondered who exactly I was supposed to root for. I think at some point I went for the game show host, since he was apparently paying the game money out his own pocket? and was obviously the victim of a swindle, much like myself.
Come on, people don't instantly become of interest or garner sympathy just because they had a rough time. It takes a believable backdrop, a solid script and character development to achieve this. This picture fails terribly on all these counts and does so rather conspicuously, much like a cartoon or a parody. Oh, this was a realistic portrait of a typical slum in Bombay? They must have recently painted and vacuumed the place then.
Heavy handed and utterly contrived situations furthered my annoyance as the movie turned into an inconceivable question and answer game where queue back sequences, in perfect chronological alignment, conveniently allowed the main lead to be able to rush through the game show, never showing the proper emotion or physical reaction such a tense situation surely would bring. No wonder the comic book villain cops didn't buy the lead's explanation that he simply knew all the answers. Our poor lead is beaten and tortured as the morally bankrupt cops try to force out a confession. But after a few weepy lifetime tales, the cop miraculously turns from foe to friend acting like the father one never had. Please give us a break.
And what was up with these kids being able to speak perfect English all of a sudden? Since when is the WWTBAM show broad-casted live? Since when do you only need to answer 6 questions in this quiz and what in God's name is so glorious or symbolic about being shot to death in a bathtub full of money?
Why is it that nowadays films with a story line that would really only be suitable for young children with its simplistic and utterly unrealistic plot points, seem so fit to gather so much general acclaim from a mature audience? I know people are easy to manipulate with these sorts of rags to riches claptrap, but surely this level of schmaltz and insultingly lame and predictable story progression would open up a few eyes here and there?
I guess that the better the movies come, the worse they actually are.