Pretentious, expensive twaddle

Rating: 3/10 (2 January 2000)

The horror genre relies on atmosphere and a certain amount of shock. Sadly, many directors rely on gore to get their popcorn guzzling audience to sit through their work. Tim Burton is an interesting director but he relies also on visual excess to cover up that his films often lack a plot. Sleepy Hollow is as its title suggests - a yawn. Granted, the production design is spectacular, a delight to the eye, there is cleavage to delight the soul and lots of British thespians to delight the brain, but there is little else. I was not chilled or thrilled by this pretentious, expensive twaddle. Loosely based on the Washington Irving story "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow", the film is badly miscast with Johnny Depp in the role of Ichabod Crane (one wonders what Jeff Goldblum - closer to Irving's idea of Crane - would have done with the role). Depp puts on some sort of accent while everone around him is touring the British Isles with theirs and Miranda Richardson has an inexplicably American twang which disappears from time to time. Christina Ricci is wasted - she does not even get good frocks, only a billowing cape, the frocks are left to Miranda Richardson who gets several costume changes, some mad-woman histrionics and a bit of rumpy in the forest (why - don't ask). Burton and his plotters play around with the original story and add some modern bits because hip, hop and happening audiences like their costume dramas with current references so they do not get lost. An uncredited Martin Landau gets his noggin lopped off at the start and then it's on, for young and old - axes fly, heads roll, Miranda glares, push up bras strain, Danny Elfman's score goes over the top, the British thesps think of the money they're making, swallow their pride and the whole thing ends with a blatant rip-off from "The Moonspinners" and "Terminator". This movie goes on and on and on - I can tell you there are few words you can make from the letters in the Exit sign. I cannot spoil the plot for you because there isn't one and the revelation about the Van Tassells cheating the Van Dammes because of the Van Halens by stealing from the Van Goghs is so convoluted and uninteresting that I concentrated on the cleavage. Incidentally, there is some sub-plot about Ichabod Crane's mum floating in a forest (dream sequence) which is a hoot - primarily because the actor playing Depp as a child is the weirdest looking kid (think Uncle Fester's love child with Monica Lewinsky) and an obscure symbol involving a red cardinal (bird). My bottom went numb watching this and the entire cast and crew should be spanked for their crimes against intelligence.