Has Tim Burton Lost His Head?

Rating: Null/10 (18 February 2001)

Mr. Burton has issues. Deep-seeded issues. On an intellectual level, I can appreciate what he's trying to do, but come on! Do we really need to see over 30 decapitations in one movie? Oh, yeah. Not to mention a lovely view of the mess an iron maiden makes and some poor fool who develops a split personality.
For once, the Disney version was actually truer to the original than this. While I suppose changing Ickybod from a schoolmaster to a colonial James Bond was inevitable (education isn't cool anymore, as we all know), the movie should have ended with the famous pumpkin scene. But no. It keeps going and going. More and more heads pile up ad nauseum and eventually ad tedium. We start delving into dark themes of witchcraft, occultism and sadism. When will it all end?
The head-chopping grows old real fast, despite the "clever" ways the same action is shown. One fellow's head spins on his neck like a demented top before rolling directly toward Ickybod. Another poor schmuck gets his head caught between the bars of an iron gate, making for an easy swipe. When the Horseman had his head, we see two dozen soldiers attacking him, but every swipe of the Horseman's sword takes off at least one head. Is that even remotely possible?
When he has no head, he runs wild, swiping noggins left and right. He has an extremely offensive killing orgy in a midwife's house. People shoot at him, but they acknowledge it as worthless, as he is already dead. Would it be so hard to shoot the sword out of his hand? Chop off his arm, so he can't use his sword? And what about killing the horse?
This film has as much to do with Washington Irving as "Oliver & Co." had to do with Charles Dickens. This travesty takes a nice story and pulls it to unspeakable depths. Did anybody think of pointing that out to Mr. Burton? Then again, he'd probably say "Shut up! I'm trying to see if I can have a guy lose his head while he's eating!"
Basically, this film was another excuse for Hollywood to butcher another classic story and for Mr. Burton to dwell in the horror and misery he loves so much. However, I must confess that this film has given me new appreciation for my neck.