Nowhere Near As Good As Some Reviewers Would Have You Think

Rating: 2/10 (4 October 2008)

This is the fourth collaboration between Johnny Depp and Tim Burton I have seen (the previous three being Sweeney Todd, the Corpse Bride and Edward Scissorhands) and I can say without an instance's doubt that it is easily the worst of the four. In fact, if it were not for Johnny Depp, then I would have stopped watching half an hour in to this poor excuse for a film.
Lets me quickly outline the plot. Constable Ichabod Crane (Depp) has been called to the town of Sleepy Hollow to investigate the unusual murders of certain town folk, where they have had their head cut clean from their body. The town widely believe that the murders are being carried out by a headless horseman, but Crane is doubtful and wants to investigate further.
Sound good? Trust me, the film's nowhere near that interesting. What I found really hard to get over was - what was this film meant to be exactly? The soundtrack would have you believe it's a scary horror - as would all the blood, headless corpses, skulls, torture weapons, y'know what I'm talking about, anything to build up atmosphere and suspense. But it fails, because this film just isn't scary, it isn't even gory (the blood looks ridiculously fake), in fact, I'd say it was Burton's aim to make us laugh, except there aren't even any jokes in the film. The special effects are just plain weird, and apart from Depp and Miranda Richardson the acting on whole is pretty dire. Christina Ricci may look the part but she cannot act, and the two child actors are just as dire (as is Lisa Marie as Ichabod's mother). It's surprising for a film to have so many badly acted parts, and I can only put this down to the fact that actors were chosen for appearance first, and acting skills second. Well, whatever the reason, one things for sure - whoever was in charge of the auditions seriously messed up.
Another problem of mine with 'Sleepy Hollow' is how hard it is to follow what the hell is going on. Ichabod Crane seemed to come to conclusions regarding the investigation as if from nowhere (Oh look, a chemical reaction, the head was cut off in a single blow. This women was pregnant, the murderer must be a mad-man (you don't say!). Oh look, a tree with decapitated heads stored inside - this must be a portal to hell). Whaaaat?! Does Burton really assume that his audience is too thick to realise how ridiculous this logic is? I am really disappointed in this film. It was nothing like what I had expected, and a huge let down compared to the quality of other Johnny Depp and Tim Burton films. Do not be led astray by all these 5 star reviews - watch this film if you really want to, just don't expect the greatest film in the world. Or anything close.