If the name James Bond wasn't attached

Rating: 3/10 (2 January 2014)

This is the fast-food equivalent of cinema. Just because this movie earned a billion dollars doesn't make it a good one, just as healthy quarterly statements don't prove that fast food is quality food. If this movie was called Skyfall with a generic actor, it wouldn't gross more than $30 million.
I have never been enthralled with Bond movies, because after reading all the Ian Fleming novels when I was a teenager, I always thought the movies were too far out with the gadgetry and superhuman abilities and all. Nonetheless, I watched some of them over the years because they were available.
A lot of things wrong with this movie have been catalogued, but I'll pile on for good measure:
1. Where is the suave, sophisticated Bond? You know, the guy who can order a drink with the best of them? Where is the tuxedo? In this movie, he was relegated to thuggery, like forcing his way into a moving train by basically yelling at the train operator. No sly, clever one-liners, this one.
2. Why "humanize" Bond by showing the place of his birth, and revealing the names and tombstone of his parents? Or showing him crying when M died? What does that accomplish, other than soupy, soap-opera stuff?
3. Why allow his parents' home to be destroyed? If he was human, wouldn't he want to save it to preserve the memories of his parents? What happens to Kincaid now that the house is gone?
4. Why show us that M needs to report a legislative panel? We assume that. We don't need to see her getting grilled.
5. What was the deal with resurrecting the Aston Martin and all the gadgets? It served no useful purpose. It seemed a contrived and desperate move to appeal to the past.
6. Why even make this film? Why not do a remake of the original Fleming novels? You know, a fresher, "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" with new gadgets.
It might be time to stop making Bond movies (I know, I know, they'll never stop so long as the money keeps pouring in), but they clearly have run out of ideas. Pretty soon, computer-savvy kids will churn out this kind of movies anyway.
I watched this movie with my non-fluent-English-speaking wife. While she'd heard of the name, she has never seen a Bond movie. At least half a dozen times, she turned to me and rolled her eyes. Yet, we'd seen a few action movies which she liked. To me, her reaction said a lot.