My name is Gay, James Gay

Rating: 1/10 (8 November 2012)

... and I am starring in a new action movie which is meant as my personal tribute to the famous movie character, James Bond.
I and the rest of the team are very proud of this movie:
We only had a script for one hour, but we managed to make the movie last for almost two and a half hours anyway by dragging out a lot of the scenes so you can really savor them.
We also had budget problems, but we were persistent and finally managed to finance most of the movie by agreeing to having little moi drink German beer instead of the actual Bond beverages.
Among our prolific achievements in the movie you will see:

Very long scenes that will make you excited, wondering if or when action will happen.

A homoerotic scene with myself and the main villain. Ain't THAT something? We are really proud of this one. We did not go all the way this time, but we hope to make future movies where you will get to see me with another man's member inserted in various places.

Lots of tributes to the Batman movies. We know you people just love them, so we thought that a repeat performance would just be the thing. Don't you all just dig 1) the Batman origin story also applied to my character, 2) the Robin-like Q (a former Batman actor, and guess what we are doing together at night in the MI6 headquarters - we have a special room we call "our Bat-cave"), 3) The villain inspired from Two-Face in the Batman movies?

We even have a Bond-like logo. We were afraid to be sued though, so we placed it in the end, instead of right before the opening titles, where it would have been in an actual Bond movie.

I am so proud that so many of you are so happy with my performance. It is a triumph for all things gay, and a great personal pleasure pour moi.
I wish I could offer all of you lovely fans a coffee with a lemon swirl. It's my specialty ;-)