Disappointing, the critics lied to me

Rating: 5/10 (29 November 2012)

For their fiftieth anniversary outing the producers and writers of Skyfall have elected, without a hint of irony, to plagiarise from their progeny and the other films these have influenced. The plot line is lifted from the first Mission: Impossible, the tone and character arc from Bond devotee Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy, and the framing device from the Bourne series. The set pieces are largely borrowed from the aforementioned films and a number of previous Bonds. They even take one of Bourne's stars in a barely recognisable Albert Finney, a role that should have had Bourne's Brian Cox written all over it. There are a couple good lines but most of them seem to have been produced using the random Bond line generator and are delivered exactly when anticipated. In short what we get is a lazily conceived film delivered by a committee of Hollywood pretenders. Unfortunately what we don't get is a Bond film, just another post Bourne Hollywood-style actioner, save for a few bones thrown to the fans in the third act (Bond's DB5 and the revealing of a key 'new' character). Other than M, female characters share about ten minutes of screen time and all Bond has to do is show up to get laid in stark contrast to Craig's previous two outings (in QoS he never gets laid at all). Which is astonishing given that here Craig has all the charisma of a sack of potatoes. These 'Bond girls' only serve as vehicles for exposition, one doesn't even get a line of dialogue, and one wears just the right amount of lipstick to make you wonder if she's really just a guy in drag. The introduction of Bardem's villain is the highlight of the movie but any promise this scene brings is then completely squandered. There is some particularly poor CGI in the rendering of Bardem's make up and two Komodo Dragons. As the end credits rolled I was left feeling this whole sorry exercise's sole purpose was to introduce three rather dull new actors / characters to the franchise. As a life long Bond aficionado I am deeply saddened and now resigned to the fact, save for another reboot, we'll never see another decent Bond film again.