Horrible

Rating: 1/10 (9 December 2012)

Major spoilers ahead.
I am writing my first review here as a kind of therapy hoping that I can put my suffering from seeing this film to bed.
For the record, I thought this movie was well filmed and aesthetically very appealing. Several scenes were great on a stand-alone basis. And I have really liked other Bond movies, e.g. Casino Royale.
But this one... I felt I was being treated as an idiot watching it. Just a few examples of what disturbed me:
1. Nice of Patrice to delay his escape in Istanbul so as to perfectly time Bond's exit from the house
2. Please confirm those were sea mermaids saving Bond in Turkey after he with two gun wounds in his upper body lifelessly fell towards the bottom of a lake
3. Whoever came up with the party trick of drinking scotch with a scorpion on the hand should be invited to my next party.
4. A badass hacker blowing up MI6 remotely by somehow fiddling with the utilities? Can he make me breakfast too, through the internet?
4. Cool to be one of the three guys in the world using some kind of uranium bullets in your handgun. And eh, a totally credible means of plot-wise somehow connecting Bond with the bad guys
5. Cooler still to have Bond meet Q at an arts museum, staring at a painting (Turner?) to allow for some heavy symbolism about an old ship doing its last trip while a kid in his 20s tells Bond about how things are done nowadays. Was this new vs. old symbolism supposed to be a theme of the movie?
5. Compliments to the CIA who knows everything about a notorious assassin including where he will be in two days and his flight number.
6. Patrice going through security at a commercial flight bound for Shanghai with enough guns to take out a city.
7. In Macau, some proper fighting and a human-eating-animal species not seen since the jurassic age is just another day at the casino
8. Did the people who used to live at Silva's island have to tear down the place before they left it? Looked like it had been a nuclear war
9. Wow, that rat speech by Silva at the island really did the job of portraying him as a real complex Bond villain
10. The hacking scene at basement where MI6 hangs out - anyone surprised that Bond made some sense out of the web of numbers? Looked like the matrix to me. Impressive by the way that the guy let himself out of the glass cage and managed to kill the guards, but maybe he hacked himself a gun out of the wifi net
11. Btw, we really needed that scene with Silva's distorted face because he seemed far too normal up until that point.
12. If you counted how many men were walking up to the Bond's old house ahead of that eternally long shooting scene, and then counted how many were killed by Bond and his entourage, how big a difference would you get?
13. Following the first round of thugs having been taken care of, I was surprised to see Silva among the second round in the chopper. I thought he would come later in a F-20 figher jet playing Mozart and shooting missiles while insisting on M being kept alive
14. Yep, always use a flash light when you run away from bad guys in the darkness
I could go on but my suffering is gone :) Don't watch the movie unless you too will want to waste half an hour on therapy!