As M Goes Bye

Rating: 3/10 (9 February 2013)

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It seems pointless to have a spoiler alert in a Bond film; the tropes are too well-established, although Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson HAVE spent the last couple of films trying to get outside the box. They really succeeded with CASINO ROYALE and in a way did with QUANTUM OF SOLACE, though chiefly by ripping off Clive Cussler. This paint-by-numbers effort by Sam Mendes, however, isn't so much an attempt to get outside the box as a kind of disinterested shrug AT the box - and its contents - and despite a few moments of impressive cinematography falls directly into my category of "I've no interest in seeing THAT movie again," which is unusual for a Bond film (a tribute to the amazing abilities of Cubby Broccoli et al.) However although Javier Bardem isn't given much to work with here, there is real audience identification with his character as he tries to achieve what so many Bond fans have wanted to see for so long - the elimination of Judi Dench.
Now don't get me wrong - Dame Judy is an OK actress, and is pretty much OK in many films, like MRS HENDERSON PRESENTS or BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL. It's just that like John Cleese as Quartermaster... Well, it was a fun twist to throw the actor in for a laugh (or whatever Mrs Dench is supposed to evoke) during the Pierce Brosnan era, but for where the franchise needed to go with Daniel Craig - not the right character for aspirations to seriousness.
And that's pretty much all there is to this film - the poignancy of the great Spanish actor as he begs M to join him in a murder-suicide, instead of the lame-ass knife-in-the-back finale that seems WAY too symbolic of the scripting of his part. If only, as Bond weeps after M breathes her last, Bardem could have suddenly shrieked "Pass the onions, Danny-boy!" as he twisted back up for the final jolt, giving Moneypenny an opportunity to yell "DUCK, Jimmy!" and redeem herself for what really wasn't ENTIRELY her fault in the Orient Express scene (couldn't Bond hear M yelling "Take the shot! TAKE THE SHOT"? Is he supposed to be growing deaf with age?? How is that the TOKEN's fault?!?)
It's too depressing to contemplate the film much further. The initial motorcycle chase across Istanbul's rooftops is energetic though little more than an homage to the far superior Saigon-scooter chase from TOMORROW NEVER DIES, and once we're ducking tunnels while wrestling atop the roof of a speeding train, we know we're in trouble. A thin plot has sometimes been saved by some magnificent scenery-chewing, but the half-assed assassination scene is a mess and the extended destruction of the Bond manor just feels tired. We sighed with Bardem as he shrugs at the spectacle of Bond giving the sub-boss treatment to a henchman, and seriously - the grounds-keeper needs a flashlight to find the kirk? During a sassenach attack?!? To be honest, I kind of expected this kind of thing from director Mendes, famed, if that's the right word, for the unfortunate contemporary-Hollywood's-prejudices-about-middle-America vehicle, American BEAUTY.
Sigh. So... Ralph Fiennes as M, huh? Is the restrained character's demonstrated willingness to stand up for subordinates and get it on with a gun in pinch some kind of signal for something new when James Bond Will Return? I hope so, Barb and Mike, 'cause as far as I'm concerned this is two duds in a row.
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