Bring Back Bond

Rating: 1/10 (18 November 2012)

Where to start... I'm glad I went on cheap Tuesday. Skyfall opens without the gun barrel as we all heard. Instead we get a shot of the weathered Daniel Craig. At the start of this movie Craig is supposed to be a healthy Bond but he looks like he crawled out of the grave. Just look at his face while he's on the bike and in the track hoe. Then comes the fight on top of the train. I found the fight decent but the choreography on Craig's previous 2 was better. Once Bond is shot and falls into the river the title sequence begins. I thought overall it was on of the better title sequences in a long time. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if Craig's face was not in it as he looks awful. I liked the fact that there was an ample amount of females in the title sequence, Casino Royale did not have one woman in its title sequence. After the title sequence we get to see an even worse looking Craig drowning his sorrows with hienekin. Craig watches the TV and sees mi6 has blown up so for whatever reason decides to check in with M. M tells a 80 year old Craig that he can return to duty if he passes all the tests, why she says this is beyond me because she clears him when he fails anyway. Craig digs out shrapnel from his gunshot wound from the start of the movie and has it analyzed. It comes back that only 3 men use that type of munition (lol). Craig then finds the man in shanghai. I found I really liked the look of the film while in shanghai. It was cool modern and unique. Craig fights the man after he lets him assassinate some guy. Craig than takes a money chip he finds to a casino and meets the beautiful Bérénice Marlohe who is wearing to much black make up in the casino scene. Then Bond takes on three men and some Komodo dragons. The Komodo dragons look terrible when cgi is used. Then finally bond gets the girl and Bérénice Marlohe looks wonderful. Then Craig meet silva and we have the famous ackword homoerotic gay scene (if you want to call it that). Bond captures silva and they take him to the new underground mi6. I found Bardem to be trying to hard to act like some deranged killer maniac. Q hacks into Silvia's computer only to discover that silva planned the capture and hack resulting in silva actually hacking mi6. Silva escapes bond fallows silva tries to get M Craig gets her first and takes her to Scotland where we are given a brief forced scene on Craig's family and childhood. This scene wanted desperately to be award material but fails big time. Craig takes M to his former home Skyfall and we meet the groundskeeper who informs Craig there are no guns left at the house except his father old double shot. I did not like the groundskeeper played by Albert Finney for 2 reasons. 1 it made me think of Jason Bourne and will you comitt to this program and 2 I was confused by his and Craig's relationship and how close they are. I don't know. M drops an f bomb. So with no weapons except some shotgun shells and dynamite they decide to home alone it up. Then silva arrives and acts crazy throwing bombs. Then Craig blows up Skyfall and runs away. Then Craig falls threw the ice on the lake and has a fight underwater where, get this... He chokes a man to death underwater. Why strangle someone underwater??? They already can't breathe!!! Me and my wife couldn't help but laugh at that! Academy Award my @$$. Then Craig kills silva in a very unrewarding manner. M dies Bond cries. It's revealed that eve is Moneypenny and mulroy is now m. The we get the gun barrel. The in big letters James Bond Will Return! Ya right I believed that the previous two times.
What worked in my opinion: Title sequence and song 007 theme music is finally back Bérénice Marlohe is hot as heck they injected the movie with humour that actually works shanghai Craig has no problems finding the stationary
What did Not work in my opinion: the rest of the movie plot is not very good Moneypenny Javier Bardem Dench's f bomb and the use of other cuss words hienekin sexual tension between Craig and Bardem. cgi Craig in a tuxedo Home Alone angle but my biggest complaint is Craig