11 Fails

Rating: 2/10 (29 September 2013)

1. The music. Adele sounds like she was at the dentist and had anesthetic injections which results in the mumbling and complete lack of diction or she had just woken up. It doesn't explain however her complete lack of vocal ability including any vocal range whatsoever. To make matters worse she even wrote the song, that sounded something like a toddler would put together. OMG I am updating this review, I have just learned that Adele got an Oscar for this AN Oscar!!!!!!!!! :-O
2. Bond doesn't actually get the hard drive back.
3. Bond gets shot at the start and falls into a deep river and is rescued by the opening Bond Graphics. What was the big hand, a mermaid? Neptune? The big hole he sank into what was that?
4. M knew she was dying, so when Silva puts his head next to hers and then puts his gun next to her head and asks her to pull the trigger and kill them both. Why doesn't she?
5. The beautiful Severine could have been saved by Bond. She is made to stand with a glass on her head and Bond is forced to try and shoot the glass as a killer points a gun at him. Instead of using his gun to kill the man with the gun, he waits until she is murdered by Silva and only then does he use his gun to do so, so why did he not do it in the first place? It involved the same risk, the same movements. By waiting he gained nothing, just her death.
6. Bonds secrets. Why are we now forced to learn all about the Private life and History of Bond? No other Bond film had to resort to this. I think it is a sign of the times, celebrity has gone so far we even (according to Bond producers) need to know more about Bonds private life. This is a huge mistake, if they pick away at the layer of mystique that makes Bond so intriguing then he will no longer be Bond.
7. Bond crying when M dies. Bond does not cry ever, and now he does.
8. Bond walks past Tanner to see M. As he walks past him Tanner is slightly in the way and Bond has to twist his torso to get past. Directing mistake, Bond does not twist past people, they get out of the way, completely out of the way. Scene should have been retaken.
9. No gadgets. That's it no gadgets.
10. The Aston Martin. Gorgeous car but it's a museum piece now, they may as well use Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, use the McLaren MP4-12C Spider it's English and it's a Supercar, what is there to think about?
11. Is Bond Gay? When asked by Silva if he'd be interested in a first time poke at some cup cake sex, he says 'who says it's the first time'.
Please let me write the next Bond, I'll do it for free. It will be set in Dubai involve a Helicopter chase through the centre gap of the Atlantis hotel. A fist fight on the monorail with the back drop of the city. A speed boat chase through the abandoned islands of 'The World'. Tons of gadgets, a bad guy who has a bodyguard who has a selection of bionics, such as a laser eye and super crush grip hands. Plus of course the McLaren MP4-12C Spider. I'd also introduce a recurring fun character (like Sheriff JW Pepper.)I am not swayed by any nonsense arguments that the audiences are too sophisticated for the classic style Bond. The new one is super lame and is very human, who needs a human Bond?