They gotta be kidding me!!!!

Rating: 4/10 (4 March 2013)

I didn't finish this movie. I tried so hard. I tried three times. Last of which, I was half way through before I started to laugh with scenes from Carry On movies coming to mind.
The dialogue is so lame it's hilarious. The spoof was playing in my head already. Make up so bad it made me wonder what colour was the water running down their faces when/if they decided to wash them.
The costumes could not be worse. Well, they could be actually, but then you'd have to compare them to Year One. In fact, the jewellery worn by the dangerous femme fatale who can't walk straight is selling at H. Samuel's for £15.
The story has gone out of fashion twenty years ago. I mean if this scenario keeps repeating itself all those bloody years, who the hell cares any more! With every word coming out of the mouth of leading and not so leading characters, I felt a thud on top of my head. What? What the heck did they say? And all the hair dye!!! The villain's eyebrows coloured copper, his hair burnt out with too much blond bleach, and his five o'clock shadow so black... Was this the Joker lost and wandering in onto a James Bond scene? And the belle of the party... where the heck did she get all that black eyeliner from? And her delivery... god almighty.. kill me.. kill me now.
So, I went to clean the kitchen when the villain showed up and just tossed the DVD aside till my no longer friend comes to take it back.
Sorry, no spoilers as I don't know and don't want to know how it ends.
But if they ever decide to replace Craigo with another Bond who can walk straight, has more uniform ears, and looks less of a big white ape, please do hollaaaa.