Top 10 Reasons Skyfall is Crap (CONTAINS SPOILERS!)

Rating: 1/10 (2 December 2012)

Top 10 reasons Skyfail is crap:
Please note this review contains spoilers!
10. Dialogue. The dialogue in Skyfall is totally asinine, even by Bond standards. The one liners fell FLAT.
9. Emo Q.
8. Bond Wayne. I realize it was always implied that Bond was an orphan, but they've turned him into Bruce Wayne, complete with family estate and butler.
7. Javier Bardem. He just got on my nerves. Silva is one of the worst villains in Bond history. He's gayer than Mr. Wint or Mr. Kidd. He's more outlandish in appearance than Blofeld. He was a cartoon character with his white hair and bleached eyebrows and disfigured jaw.
6. Bond is only 45 or so (well, Craig is about that age but Casino Royale implied he was in his mid 30's) but he is depicted as an almost- cripple? Despite still being ripped like a cage fighter? I could accept this idea if Bond were 57 or 60...
5. No gunbarrell. Skyfall as far as I'm concerned is not an official Bond movie because it has no gunbarrell at all. And yet at the end of Skyfall they show the Bond 50 gunbarrel logo. This is such bullshit. You use the most iconic image from Bond as a logo but that image is nowhere to be seen in the film? If it has no gunbarrell it's not a real Bond movie.
4. The "Bond is old and decrepit, both as a man and as a franchise" premise of the film.
3. where's the cyberterrorism?. In the end it didn't matter where the battle took place, except that, you know, maybe if they took M to... say a secure bunker, surrounded by armed soldiers... she would have survived? You can cut your internet access to avoid being targeted by cyberterrorists. Not that cyberterrorists are capable of causing direct physical harm to anyone. Then again, who knew gas pipes had valves on them that were connected to the internet?
2. The game keeper. Why is this character even in this film, except to say, "Welcome to Scotland!" ? Why would he voluntarily stay to help Bond fight off a hit squad of dangerous mercenaries armed with automatic weapons and a helicopter gunship?
1. Stupidity shown by characters. Bond, takes M to the wilderness without any protection, to a place without guns, medical facilities or communications, while *deliberately* leading the terrorists to her and not requesting any backup.
M was stupid for not ordering Bond to take her to some army base or bunker to be secure while, you know, the police or the military dealt with Silva.
Q was stupid too, for plugging the computer they retrieved from Silva's island, directly into MI6's own network, when he knew it belonged to the world's most dangerous cyber terrorist? And was so shocked when said computer opened all the doors in the bunker, including that of Silva's glass cell? Nobody uses BARS and doors with KEYS anymore? The whole point of moving MI6 to an old WWII bunker was to isolate it from hack- able technology that Silva could gain access to. And they put the holding cell within easy access of an underground tunnel leading into the subway?! Yes, whoever designed this prison was sure on the ball.... If they had taken him down to the local police station and put him in a locked cell (you know the kind that has a key) then the movie would have been a lot shorter.
So anyway, Silva escapes, and they find out he's going after M at the courthouse, so they duly warn her to get out. But she doesn't leave. She's at a hearing answering to the charge that she has been irresponsible and incompetent, and doesn't take steps to ensure her own safety, or the safety of those present at the court? Yes, that is a VERY good way of demonstrating your ability to defend the public from terrorists. Furthermore, why didn't they alert the security at the court when they knew an armed, dangerous criminal was on his way there to kill M?
Bonus round: So, Bond was shot in the shoulder while fighting the baddie. But then he is accidentally shot by Eve and falls from the train. Yet later on he has only one bullet wound, the one in his shoulder. What happened to the shot from the high powered sniper rifle?! Did Bond seek medical attention for that shot but ignored the shrapnel in his shoulder? What kind of idiots does Sam Mendes take us for?
I can accept plot silliness or lapses in logic in a Bond film where Bond fights the bad guy inside his hollowed-out volcano with a bikini-clad girl at his side. Because that's just pure escapist entertainment so it works. Appalling plot holes in a movie that takes itself as seriously as Skyfall however do NOT work. This Bond film has poetry by Tennyson in it... but also has a *stupid* plot, full of *retarded* characters who make stupid decisions at every turn. It just doesn't work!