GTFO (Get The F--K Out)

Rating: 5/10 (2 August 2016)

There was a movie I watched just the other day that really scared the pants off me. (Okay, I'll say it: it was "Bone Tomahawk," all right?) So---I just want you to know that I can see a recently made bone-chilling (ha!) movie and say, "WOW. That had it ALL! That's one frickin' pleasureful scarefest. 10/10."
"Sinister" wasn't the worst horror/BOO! type movie I've ever seen. It has its good points. But I feel obligated to question all of those glowing reviews. As the one guy (maelstrom0370) wrote in his much more noteworthy review, back in 2012, "Did we see the same movie?"
Here's my review:
Ethan Hawke's performance is great. The kids aren't half bad. The English-accented Mom had a great role in 2014 as "Cornelia" in "The Knick" (which, if you haven't seen on Netflix, you should go tee it up right now). I couldn't get past her accent in this flick (not even the slightest hint, either, as to why this author guy married a Brit). Playing a housewife Mommy seemed a bit awkward for her. Maybe she should stick to period pieces. Or maybe it's my fault, I suppose, for not being able to overlook her terrific representation of Cornelia. In "Sinister," I kept expecting her to flounce out into the living room or hallway or backyard wearing some super frilly 19th Century get up.
SPOILER (I think): Deputy So and so had me going for a while. I hoped maybe he was one of the abducted kids following in the '60s killer's footsteps. That's what comes from seeing too many other such serial killer movies and lots of Criminal Minds, I guess. And how come these murders only date back to the '60s anyway? Hmm?
GTFO. If you haven't seen YouTuber Ryan Higa's hilarious, fabulous "How to Survive a Horror Movie," please do so now. I am certain Ryan's GTFO helped to make me more jaded about horror movies in general. I sure couldn't stop thinking about Ryan's take on things, as I watched "Sinister."
As "Sinister" progressed, I found myself shouting out, "GTFO!" throughout every third scene. Why oh WHY was Ethan walking around in the dark, going up into the attic, being lured into his study and out into the deepest darkest night by noises? Is his smartphone flashlight the only flashlight he owns, for Pete's sake? (Oh, yeah, that's right. Later on he does utilize a proper flashlight.)
Were we really supposed to believe that this famous author, obviously no newbie to the warped minds of serial killers, was so imbecilic and mutton-headed as to keep bumbling around after gawd-knows-what potentially supernatural freakazoid whacko---- armed only with a baseball bat? Seriously?
And you REALLY have to suspend all belief in order to delude yourself into thinking that wifey- dear wasn't told--- gleefully --- by the first chatty store clerk she came in contact with that the new homestead hubby had moved them all into was murder central. What a gaping plot hole.
I wanted to like this movie; yes, I did. I love Ethan Hawke. Sadly, I found "Sinister" to be a huge disappointment. Don't even get me started about the ending. SPOILER ALERT: Where was Deputy So and So when you needed him?
You want to see something scary---see Bone Tomahawk. THAT's how scary is done.
5/10