Enter the mind of a 12 year-old virgin

Rating: 2/10 (8 August 2012)

Anyone who thinks the dumb, recycled, repetitive story lines of this movie represent an 'homage' to some kind of golden era of crime fiction, clearly hasn't read the real deal... These stories are the one-dimensional fantasies of a prepubescent weakling who was ignored by all the pretty girls growing up, and it's unintentionally hilarious and disturbing to watch.
Every one of the plot points follow the same tired path - a ridiculously indestructible tough guy has to protect or avenge a girl - and it is tiresome to watch. It's all familiar, and everyone is exactly what they seem: the hooker with a heart of gold, is literally called 'Goldie'; the good cop is altruistic, even to his last breath, and the bad cop is bad even in death.... etc, etc, etc.