Makes Tank Girl look like a bad film.

Rating: 10/10 (14 July 2005)

Comic books (or graphic novels, or whatever you want to call them) don't particularly interest me. Never have. It's not that I necessarily dislike them, I've just never felt the urge to shell out money for them. I'd much rather watch movies. Strangely though, I seem to really love movies BASED on comic books. Particularly the recent ones. Spider-Man 1 & 2. X-Men 1 & 2. Batman Begins. Hulk. I even like that rubbish Tank Girl movie, mostly because of Ice-T's brilliant turn as an ex-cop-turned-kangaroo-mutant. It is the absolute BEST portrayal of an ex-cop-turned-kangaroo-mutant you will EVER see on film. Lori Petty wasn't bad, either.
But none of them come close to matching Sin City for sheer movie badness (meant in a positive way, like the way the hip kids say it. Actually, 'sickness' is probably a more appropriate term). This is a grand day in the history of film-making. It is without a doubt the BEST movie Mickey Rourke has EVER been in. And Brittany Murphy, for that matter. It's really, REALLY good. Just don't let the kids see it, and don't watch it with your Mum. Trust me, I speak from experience. My Mum likes NICE movies. And this one's anything but.
As implied above, I had no prior knowledge of Frank Miller's books. I'm sure they're great, and, from what I've heard, the movie's style is very true to them. But, with respect, that means little to me. I'm just looking at Sin City as a movie. And a damn fine one it is.
First of all, the visual style of the film is breathtaking. But there's been enough said about that already, and I can't really add anything new, except that I dug Dwight's red shoes. Yay red shoes!
The dialogue is brilliantly corny. It's original, but phrased in that old-fashioned, clichéd, b-grade film-noir way. And it sounds great, particularly when coming from the mouths of such talented actors. Even the above-mentioned Mr. Rourke and Ms. Murphy - who I usually wouldn't touch with the narrow end of a broom while wearing a radiation suit - are superb in their roles. In fact, Marv is the best character in the film, and Rourke's portrayal stands out above the stellar ensemble surrounding him. The other two 'leading men' - Clive Owen's Dwight and Bruce Willis's Hartigan - are also very good, but lack Marv's beautiful, brutal simplicity. Plus their chins are nowhere near as big, and their coats nowhere near as fine-lookin'.
I was impressed by EVERYONE's performance, even those from actors who no longer impress me, due to the fact that they always impress me (Don't worry, I know what I mean). I'm not going to go into WHY everyone was so good, as there were so many actors who were so good in so many different ways. From A-for-Alba to Z-for- um - Wood, I loved 'em all.
Elijah Wood as the CREEPIEST villain in recent movie history? Didn't see THAT coming!
And was that REALLY Carla Gugino? I'll never look at Spy Kids the same way again, that's for DAMN sure! Zoinks!
Robert Rodriguez, you film-making pioneer, you. You DEADSET LEGEND you! I used to think Once Upon a Time in Mexico was your masterpiece. How incredibly silly I now feel.
What more can I say? Nothing really, except...
...give me sequel! NOW!