Idiotic but relatively fun comic-book nonsense.

Rating: Null/10 (6 January 2007)

Plot-wise, this is as retarded as it comes. Quite obviously based on a comic-book  and calling it a "graphic novel" does NOT reduce its stupidity. Even worse, like nearly all comic-book-based movies it is based on US comics, which are the worst. And trust Rodriguez to use the SAME dialog as in the comic-book frames. This guy is a birdbrain, and this kind of vapid content is exactly what you'd expect him to put on the screen. The 3 stories are so full of holes and logic gaps that Superman, Hulk, and others seem like Stephen Hawking by comparison. And how about the comic's author? Well, this guy obviously has a cop-complex, because I have never ever seen this many corrupt cops, politicians and others in a movie before  ever. It would have made better sense to make Sin City a place without relation to the real world, and then a lot would have been forgiven, but making it part of the U.S. (or any real country) shows that Miller is just another dumb Beatnik, born the odd decade too late to participate in 50s Beatnik culture: i.e. shoving into each other their infected genitals and rambling about the world in senseless, silly poetry. Miller is obviously a left-wing moron (although, why add the adjective when it's implied anyway?) and the levels of paranoia he stoops to in his silly little "graphic novels" is something for a team of shrinks to analyze. On the other hand, shrinks can't improve your I.Q. which is probably why Cruise hates them so much (yes, yes, it's his sect, I know).
On the positive side, the cast is good, the visual style is pretty good and quite interesting, and the first story is quite fun. Another proof that Rodriguez isn't all-too bright is the fact that he actually placed the 3 stories in decreasing order of quality. The first story, with Rourke, is by far the best; fast-moving, unpredictable, and comic-book-like, but in a good way. The second story is solid, whereas the last story is by far the worst: totally, utterly idiotic  even for a comic-book movie. Too dumb. The cast: quite a few attractive women, and no silicone implants! Surprising for a dumb director, I must say. It's also amazing that he doesn't have a single ugly talentless actor in there, from the upper tier of Hollywood uglies, i.e. Diaz, Barrymore, Lopez and the other cretins. The male cast is also surprisingly devoid of pansies and other effeminate trollops (you know: Damon, Di Caprio, Bloom, etc.). The only casting decision that really sticks out in its silliness is Wood. I didn't believe FOR A SECOND that Elijah Wood could be a dangerous, acrobatic cannibal. (And soon he will playing Iggy Pop, I hear!!!) As for Rourke, he walks away with the movie, though in all fairness, he got the best part and the best story.
All in all, the movie isn't boring (apart from the last story which is a yawnfest of stupidity), and I know that I am supposed to switch off my brain when watching this kind of poppycock, but even comic-based movies ought to have at least an ounce of logic or intelligence. An ounce. Is that asking too much? It is from a Beatnik wannabe, and the dumb director who "shot and cut" this movie. (Did you know that Rodriguez named his kids Rebel and Rocket???!!! The other two are, I believe, called Road and something else dumb starting with "R".)