First rule of film: show don't tell.

Rating: 5/10 (3 April 2005)

For months I have watched the trailers, the making of specials, read the graphic novel, listened to the "this movie is going to be awesome" and I fell into the deepest marketing trap ever by a single film. Then Friday April 1st, April fool's day, came along. I went to the first showing at the Famous Player theatre, 12:30pm.
Right from the beginning I knew something was wrong. This was not a movie. This was the closest thing to a comic book/graphic novel the movie world has ever seen. The problem is I was at a theatre, not a comic store.
The narrative was way too much, the images were lifted off the page and put onto the screen and given movement a few seconds before and a few seconds after what appears on page. The dialogue was cliché and I like cliché but not this bad. Sure the women were hot, the added colours were cool except for the white blood, dumb and dumber looking. The story, well actually there wasn't one. There were three dumb brutish heros looking for bad guys who have harmed women. They all centre around a strip club in Basin City where the main attraction doesn't even take her clothes off. Some sin city this is. A pchyco cardinal, his evil politically powerful bother, a pedophile son, a bad cop and a yellow bastard. What the hell is a yellow bastard?
I heard Robert Rodriques say, who sold out film-making with Spy Kids 1,2 and 3D, say that instead of turning a comic book into a movie he turned a movie into a comic book. That was the mistake. Comic books are not movies. Movies are not comic books. Frank Miller is not a director but people will still pay and pay again to see this. And they'll buy the DVD, the uncut version, the special edition with extras, and the double disc with artwork edition, as well. And they will make another one with three more tired stories. And they better tie up this Josh Hartnet business because that really got me confused.
The first rule of film-making is to show, don't tell. Comic books do the opposite, they tell you the story and show a quick glimpse of the action. For comic book, graphic novel and Frank Miller fans this is probably a great movie. But for fans of cinema this is maybe innovative but hardly a good film.
Innovative is good, but not just for the sake of being innovative. And if that's the route you want to take at least has original stories and characters. Heroes in trench coats work but don't poke fun at it while trying to be a serious film.
But hey, Mickey Rourke was awesome, Mickey Rourke is always awesome. But Sin City is by far the biggest disappointment I have ever witnessed, and Robert Rodriques should be ashamed that he claims this anti Hollywood attitude and sells out films for hype trailers and bus stop posters. 28 million bucks on a opening weekend is great for a R-rated film. Too bad your special guest director didn't didn't switch roles with you and too bad you didn't realize that you CAN(if you get the budget) turn a movie into a comic book but it doesn't make it a good movie. It just makes the stick man in the corner of each page run on the spot as I flip through the pages. Happy April Fool's day, I guess! A lucky 5 out of 10, only because of the T & A and Mickey Rourke.