Why won't they die??

Rating: 2/10 (28 December 2005)

Maybe it's because I watched it in French with English subtitles, rather than in the original English. Or maybe it's because the movie sucked and made no sense whatsoever. Either way, I didn't understand it.
It's a violent, violent movie. But, as with every soap opera and rpg, death is merely a state of mind induced by boredom. No one ever really dies in this movie. Elijah Wood has to be completely dismembered before he even shows signs of death, and even he seems somewhat lifelike, after his lovely little decapitation. Shot, hanged, drowned, set on fire, stabbed, dismembered, you name it, the characters will survive it.
Frankly, I was a bit perturbed by hooker Alexis Bledel. Isn't she a bit innocent to be playing a hooker? I guess she's no longer the Gilmore Girl we thought she was.
Still, though. You can't argue with Nick Stahl, Josh Hartnett, and Elijah Wood in the same movie, even if they are merely cameos that refuse to die. The three of them move this movie up to 2 stars for me.
I probably should have watched it in English.