Pretty ridiculous.

Rating: 3/10 (22 April 2006)

Let's start with the good: this is a pretty good video game adaptation. The film captures the look and feel of Silent Hill the game better than can be imagined. It sounds great, the colors are right and the desolation and decay of Silent Hill the town are all perfect. The film's stars all look great and fit in really well.
But that's really all I can think of for the good.
Now for the bad... Let's see, the script, the dialog, the misogyny, the insulting exposition, just everything. Let's admit it here, fan or not: this movie was pretty much awful. At no point in this movie was I genuinely creeped out. I expected the motion picture adaptation of the scariest game I've ever played to make my skin crawl. All I got was bored and just a little perturbed.
The movie is too long. Really, I never say this, but there could have been a good 20 to 30 minutes shaved off, and it would have been just about right. There are some recreations of shots from the game that just go on a little too long. Or a lot too long. The entire second half of the movie just felt like it was being dragged out for the sake of it.
Silent Hill the game is slow in parts, but it builds tension and keeps it up for the entirety of the game. Silent Hill the movie builds tension slowly in the first quarter, and then... just loses it. I was hooked in the beginning, and then I wasn't. When the movie should get exciting, it doesn't. No follow-through.
And for all the length of the film, it doesn't seem like they accomplished anything. I don't feel any closer or more understanding of the world of Silent Hill. I walked away from this movie with a bad taste in my mouth. It was my fault, though. I had expectations, and I set myself up for disappointment. Should have known...
The dialog was horrid, and not in a cheesy-horror-like way. It was just bad in a bad way. Most of the exchanges consisted of action movie clichés and emotive "It'll be okay" tripe. NONE of the dialog seemed to flow out of the actor's mouths naturally. It was like they were spitting out words without context. Not that it was any of their faults; they're all good actors. But the writing was so poor that it just didn't work. It was simple, terse writing in the worst way.
The misogyny in the movie was just out of control. Avary's original script, featuring a cast entirely composed of women, might not have had this problem. But as it was, it was just a little too obvious. I know the S&M/fetish/sexual undertones of the world of Silent Hill, but there's nothing really like the barbed-wire in the crotch scene. That's pretty blatant. Or consider the miners beating Cybil. Or Rose getting beaten as she enters the church. It's all just a little too much for me.
Alessa's complete explanation near the end of the film was absolutely insulting. It went on forever and covered flashbacks in the worst possible way. The syndicated Tales from the Darkside series had better voice-over work. The movie itself didn't need that explanation. The flashbacks could have been worked in without that god-awful description of everything that had happened up to that point. Great, we didn't really need that. The move spoke for itself pretty well up to that point and just absolutely fell apart after that.
And again, for all that extra film and stupid explanation, Pyramid Head didn't get any fair treatment, Cybil was never "converted," etc. There was an apparent cliffhanger, setting the stage for a sequel.
There are TONS of problems with this movie, and I really wanted to like it. I was excited, just like most Silent Hill fans. But I am now a little sadder for having seen this movie. It could have been incredibly creepy, and a good movie on its own. Instead, we get a "good" video game movie (which isn't saying much) that's just a little jumpy.
I thought Gans could have made something worthwhile with a good script, a good cast and a large budget. He made something pretty but terrible, with a good cast, a large budget and a silly script that could have used some heavy editing. I'd like to hear what he has to say about any studio limitations or script problems, but what I'd really like is an explanation.
What a disappointment.