Good Effects - No Script

Rating: 2/10 (22 June 2006)

The word running through my head during this entire film was, "Atrocious". After we sat through this monstrosity, my brother looked at me and said, "Well, the popcorn was good." There are so many things wrong with this film, it's hard to choose even where to begin.
First of all, nobody acts like these characters in real life...hell, nobody acts like these characters in a video game! The acting was terrible -- everybody overacts. Sean Bean would've gone into an utter rage if the restaurant would've said they were out of complimentary toothpicks or mints.
The special effects were incredibly good, but there simply was no script. I got the feeling they created all of these creepy effects shots and then just told the actors to improvise. In the beginning, there was an actual place that was a gas station, restaurant and tattoo parlor rolled into one. I said to my brother, "It has everything you'll ever need!" At times, the scenes were so absurd, that I started busting up laughing -- so hard I was in tears.
The first hour, in spite of the absurdity of the story, does have several creepy scenes that weren't all that bad, but during the second hour, the film completely changed with a whole new plot even more insane than the first! I got the impression they could've finished the film after the first hour, but since it needed to be longer, they just threw some even more crappy plot line together. Not even the presence of Alice Krige (Borg Queen, ST:First Contact and VOY), or Laurie Holden (Marita Covarrubias, The X-Files) could save this train wreck. I wasn't even scared once! Save your money and wait for this when it goes on the cheap shelf at the video store, and it's only worth that for the effects. Thank god I used a pass to get in to see this, because if I would've paid to see this stink bomb, I'm sure I would've asked for a refund.