Confusing, Linear and Titanically disastrous.

Rating: 4/10 (9 May 2008)

Silent hill has been giving gaming fans sleepless nights since its 90's debut on playstation. The film adaptation however induced sleep as its steep crawl into some form of horror simply took a golden age. By the time anyone in the cinema knew what was going on, a man with a piece of toblerone attached to his cranium was pursuing the under developed characters of this dingy motel of horror film around a rust infested CGI set. This film can only be described as a very bad roller-coaster. It hurtles viewers from one enigma to another without explaining any key events whatsoever. As I have played the games, I had some answers to the questions my bewildered friends were asking, such as "who the hell is he?", "Why are they even here?" and the classic "why has everything turned rusty?". Unfortunately for anyone still in the dark as to the storyline of the games franchise, this rubik's cube of a film will cause you to develop narcolepsy for its entire running time, as trying to keep up with the endless hail of plot twists is overly tiring. Even the legendary Sherlock Holmes would be scratching his cap wearing head as to the whereabouts of the runaway plot line.
Some of the finer features of the film include, rape with barbed wire, The fiery torture of a female police officer and of course a deformed and very undead paedophile janitor named Colin. Sounds interesting I know, but trust me. It isn't.
The ending of this film should have been a masterpiece, a true Da Vinci of the horror genre. Instead, it is a cheap caricature of what could of been a amazing and truly frightening game to film adaptation. The storyline was already prepared like a fine cuisine. Instead the directors chose a cheap half baked finger buffet and destroyed any hope of dignity this film had left.
The events that took place were summed up perfectly by one utterly baffled viewer in my screen, who at a blank and silent transition between scenes, expressed his outrage at the mystery narrative with a quite accurate "What the F***!?". This outburst however voiced what everyone was thinking and marked the steep decline of Silent Hill.
An utterly disgusting display of film making that should not be viewed without some aspirin and an ice pack for the headache that will develop from trying to find some clue as to the storyline. Not recommended to anyone, ESPECIALLY fans of the game.