A major fan of the series highly let down by the movie

Rating: 2/10 (24 April 2006)

This post might take about 2 and a half minutes to read. Take my word for it now, it's about 2 and a half minutes longer than you should spend on this cinematic abomination.
So, where to begin...how about the running time? That seems to tie into all the other fallacies pretty well.
The film is 2 hours and 5 minutes in length (but don't worry, it only feels like 3 hours). The first 30 minutes and about 20 minutes towards the end were semi-decent. But outside of that action, which is conveniently all shown in the trailers anyways, there is no single redeeming quality to the storyline. I guess I can understand the writer's desire to have a decent plot, so I didn't fault him for trying...at first. The problem with a horror film trying to take on a complex story line is that it takes away from the reason movie-goers paid to see it in the first place: The Horror.
What began (and I use "began" very loosely, as the madness set in about 17 minutes into this snore-fest) as a decent concept quickly took a wrong turn down a dirt road that ended in a cliff. Silent Hill ignored all the "Bridge Out" signs and floored it, taking the viewer on a ride into the depths of hell. Now, I don't mean that it was hellishly scary. It was literally hell sitting through this film. Somehow the writers managed to take a pure and simple plot from the video games, and turn it into a mind-boggling labyrinth of bore that would make a David Lynch story look like an R.L. Stine novel.
Nothing in this movie made sense. First the town was supposedly burned down, then it was overrun by religious fanatics, then the Grim Reaper became a good guy, but that was only a ploy to get to the other bad guys. 90% of the ghouls/zombies/demons in the movie were never explained. Somehow killer beetles were worked in, but they had human-like faces. And then a dead girl became a telekinetic...
But I digress. I will only give Silent Hill credit for one thing, and one thing only. The cinematics were stunning at times. During some of the monster attacks and abandoned town scenes the visual are truly stunning. However, for the rest of the film that just doesn't matter, as it's all so pointless and mundane that seeing a cool camera angle of a book store just loses any meaning.
The characters were pitiful. I honestly don't even know why Sean Bean's role was even in the movie. His worthless character alone added a completely unnecessary 35 more minutes.
I went into it expecting something groundbreaking, and I was especially excited because I love the games. I give it a sorely disappointed 2 stars out of 10. And, yes, I did "get" the ending. But by then I just didn't care.
2 out of 10...that's a whopping F- for all you scholars out there.