M Night Charlatan's sci-fi disaster

Rating: Null/10 (12 September 2008)

Signs is hands down the worst movie I have ever paid money to see at a cinema. Basically it's the story of a minister who has lost his faith but manages to regain it with the arrival of some aliens.
This isn't a terrible plot but the way it's presented is beyond parody. There are a few tense moments early on but then the aliens start landing, though this would be expensive to show you so instead you get to see five light bulbs against a black backdrop, in much the same way that bad sci-fi has always represented alien invasions when a bit strapped for cash. When they start running around the ministers roof like a pack of squirrels and show they are unable to open doors I was just stunned. It's only the first of a long line of really badly judged bits that just keep the comedy flowing.
What really stinks this awful movie up is the nonsensical ending. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever and by the time the film had been rolling for an hour most of the audience had departed. Those that stayed mostly did so to jeer the movie and laugh at it's mawkish script and pathetic attempt to make the whole thing seem grand and meaningful.
I don't think I've ever seen a movie that has so insulted my intelligence. My tiny local cinema only seats 250 people and was forced to stop showing it because in the words of the cinema manager "too many people were walking out and demanding a refund and the audience waiting to see it were put off by the laughter of people already viewing it."
I laughed too until I heard Shoddyhands had announced he was the new Hitchcock on the basis of this movie, and then I found out that some viewers actually agree with him and think this is a profound and clever film! How depressing.