One more strike and Shyamalan's OUT

Rating: 1/10 (27 August 2002)

I loved THE SIXTH SENSE -- even felt it deserved the Best Picture
nomination it got. And when Shyamalan's UNBREAKABLE came a
cropper a year later, I thought it was a noble failure -- everyone's allowed
one of those.
But with SIGNS, my goodwill is gone. I'm beginning to think that, like
James Cameron, Shyamalan desperately needs a WRITER. SIGNS is a
mess -- full of "aliens are coming" gobbledygook, cringeworthy lines like
Rory Culkin's protestation that he wants to stay in their home because "it's
where Mom was" and excruciatingly poor acting from just about everyone
but Cherry Jones, who does her best to hold her head up high and not be
embarrassed by this dreck that is her biggest shot yet at big-screen renown.
Everyone knows the plot essentials by this point, suffice it to say that
their are loose ends and plot holes big enough to steer a spaceship through, and when it's all over, you can only wonder why the aliens were so intent
on terrorizing and/or killing this boring group of rural Pennsylvanians.
Weren't there bigger fish to fry in the United States?

(Possible SPOILER): Every seemingly minor element that is introduced --
Joaquin Phoenix's sports past, Culkin's medical problems, the daughter's
obsessive/compulsive relationship to water -- might as well have a big
"Deus ex machina" sign announcing it, as each is obviously being
introduced for a payoff later on, without feeling in any way organic to the
plot or the characters.
Save this one for DVD on a night when there's absolutely nothing else to
do -- or better yet, just skip it altogether.