Brutal Clicheique Self loving parade

Rating: 1/10 (30 August 2002)

Contains Spoilers!!! I was so excited to see a movie done by such a young guy given the reigns,cover of Newsweek! even, and his having done a great job with "Sixth Sense", but WOW!.. this will become a cult film on how many cliches and unoriginal thoughts you can pack in to one movie, and still bore the s..t out of everyone--unless you're 6 or something, and all this stuff would be fresh... and you haven't seen the Wizard of Oz yet.(that's how they get the aliens to sizzle with water, yes I know, brutal,,but it gets better) Also, I'm puzzled! why did he have to appear in the movie?.. answer: He completel y loves himself and believes his hyper-greatness to the point of embarrassment. Sure, everyone has heard of Indian men being misogynistic, but to weave it in to American film is a huge HUGE no no. For example, during a kitchen scene when Mel(bless his heart, as this will be his last blockbuster budget film after this stinker)he has the little kids washing dishes as he comes back all freaked out from seeing this thing in cornfield..what little kids wash dishes without being beaten to do so?.. ok, so anyway, the little girl is splashing water on Rory Culkin, and Rory is sitting there taking it, not knocking her off her little step, like a little bro is supposed to.. why.. because Night sees women as powerless, and especially little girls.. because they will grow up to be women.. and ergo powerless in his society.. so let them have their fun now.. or believe they will have power when they are young.. to hide them from the nasty truth for women in non-American society.. for shame. Keep that for an Indian film.. not an American one. There were so many hilarious cliches.. boarding up the camera to change the scene.. i laughed out loud, or Mel's wife sitting there crushed by a car, and she's sitting there hanging out with him, saying yeah,, this sucks, tell the kids to do their homework..and that I love them, and isn't this a pisser? i think he would be hugging her.. kissing her.. running over to her immediately, not waiting for the highway patrolwoman to calmly explain to him his wife is almost dead. so David Lynchy, but yet not supposed to be!.. or in the beginning when the car starts up! (sound effects) before the patrolwoman is fully in the car.. Ok.. maybe i'm being hyper critical, or reading more into this than I need to.. but BOY this was so bad!! i might have to see it again.. Mel rams the needle in poor rory's leg so hard at the end, he would break the needle off in the poor kid.. "Oh.. Oh,, don't speak.. let's see if he's going to live.. we don't know yet.. he.. he.. didn't breath in the poison because his lungs were closed.."(actual line) At least color the kid's skin blue so we know that he is out of breath for the last 3 minutes if he was going to paint it to the dumbass public so blatantly.. which he did several times throughout the movie.. flat out explaining obvious things to us.. so we could said "oh, yeah, yeah, I thought so". Joaquin Phoenix.. who is an AWESOME actor.. seemed to be rolling his third eye within his head at having to say some of these stale lines, I would love to laugh my ass off with him about the filming of this.. because I bet there was alot of tongue biting. Great tool for film schools to use to avoid cliches and spelling things out so blatantly.. and to remember not to worry if your mother will watch the film.