Signs of weakness

Rating: Null/10 (25 August 2002)

One thing I'll say for this movie; no one is indifferent about it. However, to be blunt, it's a waste of money and time. What I found the most frustrating is I could not identify with any of the "what ifs" unless every person portrayed was under psychiatric care. In other words, not one person behaved believably in what I would call a universal set of given circumstances and responses. Consequently, many times as I watched I would go "huh?" for example ***Spoilers***:
If a child of mine killed one of the family pets, we would ALL have a rather hysterical reaction to it... especially the kid who stabbed it with a barbecue fork. In the movie, this is perfectly acceptable behaviour.
If a child of mine had a penchant for drinking (and not drinking) water, I would talk to that child about it and I would make sure she didn't leave the glasses all over the place. In the movie, this is perfectly acceptable behaviour.
If I saw a person with a bloody wound in his side, I would ask about it. I would want to know that he was okay. If that person told me that he had locked an alien in his pantry, the LAST thing I would do is go check it out. In the movie, this is perfectly acceptable behaviour.
And there were two scenes that made me do that thing... you know when you run your fingers hard down your face because you can't believe what you're asked to believe? Well, when Merrill Hess is talking to that army guy (why is he there anyway??) and this guy says "Hey, didn't you used to play baseball?" right out of the blue. It was a glaringly obvious "plot point" that I did that fingers thing. And oh, the ending, oh my... "Swing away" Okay folks, you're in a life and death situation, your child is being held for who-knows-what reason by an alien and you decide to speak cryptically. That was when I did the other fingers thing.
The pacing of the movie is just too slow, the pauses drawl to the point where it is no longer acceptable or normal that people are not speaking and/or responding. It worked in Sixth Sense because of the juxtaposition of the "two worlds" we were in. But in Signs it feels as though they stretched a 10-page script into a 2 hour movie.
The whole business about the "water is to aliens as kryptonite is to Superman" thing is too silly for words.
Say good night M. Night. Loved Sixth Sense, liked Unbreakable, but yer gonged on Signs!