Strains every last vestige of credulity.

Rating: 1/10 (31 August 2002)

Take your basic muted Tubular Bells/The Exorcist music track, add a hyperamplified sound effect here or there to shake up the cineplex audience, apply to an absurd script that treats every banal statement as a philosophical breakthrough, then add acting that takes the Bruce Willis technique of constipated scowls and grimaces and refines it, and voila, you have Signs.
The only film I have seen to match the sheer irritation I felt while watching this exercise in dull earnestness was the sixteen days (or so it felt) I spent waiting for "Bridges of Madison County" to end. It's that bad...and I'm still straining to find any reason why this dreck is as highly rated as it is.