Worst...Screenplay...Ever

Rating: Null/10 (12 November 2002)

I enjoy M. Night Shyamalan's previous movies: The Sixth Sense was very good, and I was cool with Unbreakable until the last five minutes, when he ruined it. Unfortunately, I hate this movie. Why? Because SOMEone's belief in their talent (I'm looking at YOU, M.) has gotten bigger than their actual filmmaking abilities.
The plot concerns a minister, fallen from grace, who wakes up to find a crop circle in his corn field. But this is no isolated incident; these thing are turning up all over the world. Hoax, or the real deal? Who cares.
First things first: worst...screenplay...ever; beats Plan 9 hands down. The only time the screenplay works is when the actors aren't talking to or interacting with each other in any way. Conversations are awkward and forced. There's a scene when aliens are breaking into the house, and Mel decides to stop and have a heart-to-heart with his kids. Awful. Speaking of acting, outside the marquee players, the acting is truly terrible; we're talking dinner-theatre-in-Sioux-Falls bad. M. even has the audacity to cast himself in a crucial role, but, because he has no acting ability, it ruins all of those important scenes. There are some genuinely scary moments (one in particular made me jump), but they are quickly ruined by someone opening their mouth and speaking. And lastly, The Trademark Shyamalan Ending. Yes, this, as in all his other films, has The Flashbacks at the end. But they don't give us any insight into what's happened (as in his previous films); they simply make a statement about the difference between coincidence and fate. BORING. And The Trademark Trick End Scene. It's as though the studio demanded he put a Trick End on this, and this is what he came up with before the screenplay had to go to the printers. It's very tacked on, and has little relation to the rest of the story (ie it's not the logical ending for this movie; what is? Who knows). Overall, a bad experience. If you haven't already added to the huge B.O. for this thing, don't. In fact, forget you saw it if you have.