Stop "Signs"

Rating: 6/10 (12 September 2008)

We watched this movie Saturday night. While the pace is much like watching grass, or corn, grow, you eventually get sucked into the whole, silly plot which is about aliens landing in a corn field in Kansas and, instead of taking over the state capitol, or a 7-11, they concentrate all their energy on taking over a farm house where 4 people live. I have some questions! Why is it that aliens, who have the technology that allows them to travel 100's of thousand's of light years, can't open a door? Maybe the aliens aren't from "out there." Maybe they are by products of genetically altered corn. Maybe water makes them swell up and pop. And, why is corn a symbol of evil, or creepiness? I realize that it is a recyclable food, but evil? I just don't get it. Also, what does Mel Gibson do for a living now that he is unfathered; what does his brother do besides smoke and watch television in a closet? Why don't the kids go to school? Why is no one bothered when the boy murders his dog with a serving fork? What happened to the meat on the barbecue? Where's PETA in all this? Why are there 1252 half empty water glasses all over the farm house. I realize the daughter has a problem with water (hmm, maybe she's part alien), but doesn't any one ever clean a glass? Don't they ever run out of water glasses? Do you have 1252 water glasses in your house? Why does the younger brother hit the water glasses with his baseball bat? Wouldn't it have been easier, and more accurate, just to throw water on the alien? How can you break a bat on a water glass? How come the alien can't get through the wood slats nailed to the windows, but can carve strange patterns in the same wood. It seems to me that he (it?) would just make one of those patterns bigger, and he's (it's) in. Why does Mel Gibson, who is the father who was a Father, lose his faith when his wife is killed, but get it back when an alien is watered to death in his house? Why didn't the aliens bring raincoats, and umbrellas? Why does the boy who has asthma and sucks on his inhaler every 30 seconds throughout the entire movie not have the inhaler when he is in the basement? Why is the boy dead and then not dead? Is it a miracle, or is it Hollywood? Why was this movie made? Did anyone actually read this script before the movie was made? Why did we watch it? Will all these questions be answered in the Director's Cut? Or, will it only get sillier?