The greatest masterpiece that virtually none can see!

Rating: Null/10 (30 August 2002)

Having submitted recently TWO reviews of this film wherein I have relentlessly slated individual contributors to the IMDb who appear to have a subconscious desire to broadcast their cranial limitations to a worldwide audience - I cannot be surprised that neither review has been published. I failed at ground level to observe the unwritten law here at the IMDb - "Keep it objective old buddy - don't trash other reviewers!" Well I'm sorry they NEED to be trashed. Perhaps if I take a broad-spectrum approach here, rather than crucify specific individuals, I might get the word across and God-knows, it so needs to be!
SIGNS IS a masterpiece! It is not a wannabe-great, a what-might-have been?, a great flick-shame about the ending type offering....it IS total brilliance. Problem is, that from what I can see, professional film critics included, almost no-one has UNDERSTOOD it, having failed completely to read what Shyamalan has shoved right under your noses. Evidence of this contagious lack of awareness is so prevalent from the multiplicity of inane and counter-productive comments here!
* Why would an alien civilisation prone to melting in the proximity of H20, opt to gate-crash a planet covered pretty much with water?
* What kind of retarded alien technology must they have to be unable to break out of a pantry?
* How self-indulgently patriotic, crass even, to have Phoenix belting the bejeezus out of a hapless alien at the end with his all-American baseball bat? (Lets call this THE ARMAGEDDON syndrome?)
* Rather too cutesy having Culkin "making it" after all following his mother of all asthma attacks!
* How stilted and unrealistic the characters' behaviour appears at times.
I could go on! Some of you got to first base alright. Hey this isn't about Alien invasions, its