Overhyped, ridiculous b-movie that doesn't try to be one

Rating: 4/10 (14 August 2002)

-- Spoilers, because you shouldn't waste money on the movie anyway --
Signs is not horrible. Let's get that out of the way at first. But it is a very mediocre movie, especially considering the rating it has on this ridiculous website. Much like The Others, which was another supposedly creepy movie, there's really nothing scary in this movie. You don't get to see what's scaring you -- some people have pointed this out -- and yet, well, yes, you do.
The movie's "faith" question that everyone seems concerned about is essentially trivial -- some people believe that weird things happen because of coincidences, others think that weird things are signs, and when Mel Gibson breaks down, crying out, "his lungs were closed!" you see Shyamalan's take on the question. But it never really mattered whether Mel lost his faith in the first place, because Shyamalan is far from a gifted writer and Mel's character development was poor. I cared more about why the little girl wouldn't drink her water (which we never found out) than why Mel's faith even mattered. At no point in the movie did he really seem to have lost it, or did it matter whether he did or not. (And speaking of the water, thanks, M. Night, for the ridiculous aping of Gremlins.)
The problem is that Signs is a B-movie trying to masquerade as something deeper than that. The plot is silly, but I found no evidence that Shyamalan was trying to pull a big joke. I wondered out loud during the movie whether this was supposed to be a farce (having looted ideas from Gremlins, Close Encounters, Aliens, Evil Dead, even Blair Witch!) on the order of a Scary Movie, but it ended up taking itself too seriously. The joke's on Shyamalan, and, I suppose, anyone who's actually scared by little green men, especially when the plot is so obvious from the get-go.

Shyamalan's movies keep getting worse. Sixth Sense was pretty good. Unbreakable was intense and powerful, but ended up cluttered and confused. Signs is a sloppy mess. Let's pray the "next Spielberg" figures out what the ____ he's doing before he makes another complete dud and pulls the wool over the eyes of another massive audience.