Indescribable

Rating: 1/10 (6 June 2010)

Over the years, the megalomaniacal geniuses of the Dreamworks animated movies are getting unfunnier and unfunnier with star power and pop culture references; they think they are smart to lure unsuspecting moviegoers and families into thinking their movies will sell to the world and will be just as good as the first "Shrek" or even "Shrek 2," which is sad to say, the only two good Dreamworks movies there ever was. Everything else is all the same. Get a roundup of actors. Draw them to how they look like in their human forms. Give personalities to the characters that match their acting styles, only to exploit those actors. Add some stupid pop culture references out of nowhere to make the adults laugh, and they never do. And then the movie rakes in the money, but adults get bored and think it's just another ego vehicle, and small children are too young to notice a thing.
So is to speak of "Shrek Forever After," which they say will be last "Shrek" movie, and hopefully so because it is simply the worst and worse than "Shrek the Third," where the series was starting to outwear its welcome. So has the dumb Dreamworks animation studios, and I hope I'll never see another one of their animated movies, just sticking with Pixar, like all other smart moviegoers. Adults and children all love Pixar, and it has never failed on gone on an ego trip even once.
In my best overview, Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, Antonio Banderas, John Cleese (who died as the frog in "Shrek the Third, and appears in a flashback in the first scene), and Julie Andrews return, getting their paychecks, but little payoff. Walt Dohrn is the new villain, a creepy character named Rumplestiltskin, and he isn't convincing, just dark and creepy. This is without a doubt the darkest of all the Shrek Movies, with the darkest settings and elements. Bored with his life as a family man, Myers as Shrek wants to go back to the glory days as an ogre, so he makes a deal with Rumplestiltskin, foolishly signs the contract, and gets into so much trouble in his alternate reality world. He is not born, and Rumplestiltskin is the head of Far Far Away. The gnome has captured all ogres but Shrek. Diaz as Fiona, who looks like a warrior, is captured, and in this reality, she doesn't know who Shrek is. Murphy as Donkey tags along and jabbers as always. Banderas as Puss in Boots does nothing but look fat. The witches are Rumplestiltskin's henchwomen who try to capture Shrek and don't let him go, and like all the other characters, they are creepy.
If you think that's enough, rats (not the cute kind rom "Ratatouille"),slugs, and eyeballs serve as sight gags. A bratty young boy chants in a gurgly voice, "Do the roar" to Shrek, in a cheap attempt to get laughs at the opening scene of the birthday party. Cakes are smashed.
This movie was made in 3D, and this is the biggest ripoff of the year. I'm lucky I got in with discount tickets. Save your money everyone. And this has been the highest grossing movie for four weekends, but has the lowest and weakest box office record of all the "Shrek" movies. Hey, I'm a fan of Ralph Bakshi's "Wizards," and this is no small comparison, but where one would think "Wizards," or more appropriately, his "Lord of the Rings" the next year, was dark and murky, I thought "Wizards" was hilarious in a Mel Brooks mode. "Shrek Forever After" holds the record for the least cute, dreariest, and murkiest animated movie I've ever witnessed, and more so than Bakshi's "Lord of the Rings" and Disney's only PG-rated "The Black Cauldron." Some things have to move on, and "Shrek" is one of them after a delightful start.