Only Has An Hour Or So To be Hilarious, and Fails

Rating: Null/10 (7 July 2001)

Shrek was, well, not healthy for children and other living things. From seeing this mind-numbing "fairy tale", it's no wonder to me why our children are now dumber than a bag of hammers. These so-called children's movies condescend the audience into a state of utter slothfulness, and our kids are left without a thought in their tiny little brains. For once I'll be glad to re-read the Grimm Brothers; at least they entertained children with horrifying stories of violence, debauchery, and sadism. The most terrifying part of Shrek is paying eight bucks to see it, and thinking to yourself "I hate this film, everything about it is bad". Well, it all wasn't terrible, the computer graphics were great and, well, nevermind, it still bites the big one. Full of meaningless pop culture references and mindless child manipulation tactics, expect your child to want to blow your money on worthless merchandise and clothing and God knows what else. The jokes about bad breath and Freud?-hey, this is the Dark Ages; Continuity! I was impressed by how primitive their eviction notices were in the Dark Ages. (If you see the film, you'll know what I'm talking about.) Rating: 4/10 (I Don't Know, It's starting to Look like last summer, all over again)