Garbage!

Rating: Null/10 (11 June 2004)

So, I guess I'm in a huge minority here, but what the hell is everyone raving about? This shameless sequel was so palatable, it was like pabulum. The first one had a bit of edge, it was a wee bit clever, but this onenothing.
WARNING: Mild JOKE SPOILERSif you want to call them jokes.
I'm reading now, that producers want you to see it again, because you probably missed a lot of jokes the first time. Well, they're right about one thing. I certainly did miss a lot of jokes. I think I missed them all. Seriously, where were they? Were they the s***ty puns of store names like Farbucks in the b.g. or were they the Oh so clever zingers such as 'Quit being such a Drama King.' I know, it must have been that Zany Cops parody sequence called 'Knights.' Cause, instead of using, pepper sprayget this.they used a pepper mill, and ground black peppercorns into his eyes. Again, puns = hilarity.
And please, people, stop raving about the crappy performances of these talentless stars gave. Myers hasn't been funny in years, and he's getting less and less funny with each successive film, isn't that right Cat in the Hat. And why the hell does the ogre have a Scottish accent anyway? Then there's Diaz?
Cameron Diaz? Cameron Diaz? Does anyone seriously think she's funny?
What exactly has she been funny in? It sure wasn't The Sweetest Thing or those dreadful Angel's movies. She stinks. Always has. Always will. Anna Feris nailed her to the wall in Lost in Translation, all she can play is a stupid blonde who does elaborate dance sequences in her underwear. And as far as Antonio Banderas goes, well there's a man, who's mastered the high art form of English speaking comedy as was clearly evident in the comic romp, Play it to the Bone. Now, to be fair, Puss and Boots, was really quite adorable, but it had nothing to do with Banderas. Those cute eyes, the hairball thing, the cat nip gag; nothing to do with his muddy performance.
In fact, the best voice talent in the movie, were non actors, the guys who voiced Pinocchio and the Gingerbread man. Why does the studio feel they need to cast quote unquote, A level talent in a cartoon, when there are so many people who can do it better, ie: Dan Castellaneta from the Simpsons or Seth McFarland from the Family Guy. Who's going to see this movie for the starsno one. I guess they're needed to aimlessly wander around the day and late-night talk shows, telling the same crappy stories they always tell, and shamelessly plugging this piece of comedic garbage.
Now, all that being said, I do think the animators should be commended on another superlative job. Every frame, had incredible exquisite detail and attention. I only wish the writers and performers had a quarter of their talent, then we'd have a movie.