Shoot  and to think I coulda been washing the car, instead

Rating: 3/10 (9 December 2007)

This is one seriously banal movie.
How many ideas can be stolen from other and better movies, mixed around, and then spewed out into a dog's breakfast of big guns, fast action stunts, cardboard cutout bad guys, and cutie-pie killers masquerading as good guys? Try this one and you'll find out...but I gave up counting, it's sooooo bad.
Mark Wahlberg, an actor I've never had much time for, tries to combine all that is worst about Bruce Willis, Big Arnie, and Matt Damon to outdo the three of them with a body count that is beyond laughable. Throw in the obligatory car chase sequence and, hey presto: First Action Hero  Mark 1!
The story is so incredibly stupid it's barely worth talking about, but here goes: ex-military sniper Swagger  I kid you not - (Wahlberg) is conned into assisting spooks to stop a supposed presidential assassination attempt. Swagger is blamed when things go wrong. Swagger then swaggers about, hunts down and kills all who conned him, killing anybody who gets in the way of his righteous duty.
That's it, in a nutshell. The sniper gets some help along the way, naturally, from another cutie-pie, who's a killer looker but also looking to kill. And some help from a FBI jerk who just happens to be smart. There's always one, right?
Shame on Danny Glover and Ned Beatty for appearing in this excuse for entertainment. Greed has no depth, as they rightly point out to each other how much money they'll make in big oil. Wonder how much they were paid to appear as the bad guys?
Totally vacuous in any sort of moral underpinnings except don't be cruel to dumb animals: the bad guys shot dead the sniper's dog. Now you've done it, he mutters, as he kills another bad guy...and another...
Do you have absolutely nothing to do for two hours? Cut your toenails? Watch TV commercials? No? Well, I guess you'd better see it.