Shall We Dance? No, we shouldn't.

Rating: 1/10 (24 October 2005)

A movie about a Richard Gere-looking lawyer (Richard Gere) who has a mid-life crisis and decides to take up dancing after seeing a beautiful J-Lo looking dance instructor (J-Lo) on his way home from work. Susan Sarandon stars in a forgettable role as Gere's wife.
Run, do not walk to take this off your Blockbuster on-line queue.
Jennifer Lopez has starred in one good movie, "Out of Sight." The reason that movie worked was a) she was beautiful and b) she shut up and let the real actors perform. She's still beautiful in this movie, but now she is a real-life star. That means she actually gets to read lines - lots of them - all at our expense. You know how I know when J-Lo's ruining a scene? Her lips are moving.
The worst part about this movie is that Susan Sarandon would lower herself to taking a role in it. I guess after you spend screen time with Julia Roberts in "Step-mom" you just go numb. Maybe her and husband Tim Robbins had a bet to see who could do the worst movie of their careers. He had just finished shooting "code 46," so a movie with Lopez was Sarandon's big chance.
The one redeeming moment of this movie is the ending which I won't reveal, not that it matters. We wish this ending came much sooner, but at least Lopez is nowhere in sight. Here, we get a chance to see Gere and Sarandon act for the first time in what seemed like a million minutes. The movie would have done better to close with this scene. Instead we're treated to a last chance look at Jennifer's body in a provocative yellow costume, followed by a ridiculous curtain call of the movie's primary and supporting cast. Perhaps the director knew we weren't paying attention to these characters during the movie. Who knows. What I do know is these aren't the first d-list actors in a J-Lo film whose performances were less interesting than staring at her ass. Worse, they won't be the last.