Never was a story of such woe....

Rating: Null/10 (26 September 2002)

Shakespeare in Love was offered as the movie on an international flight I took some time ago. It was the only time I recall actually trying to will the plane to crash, in the hope I would be spared the sheer torture this picture is.
I dont know where to begin in how terrible this movie really is. The acting is terrible and at no point did I feel any sympathy for the characters. Joseph Fiennes	spends so much time acting like some lame doe-eyed tortured soul I wanted to jump out of my seat and punch him. At least he was acting which is more we can say about Paltrow and Ben Affleck. Their performance is so stiff and wooden I began to think they really were not in this movie but instead were replaced by cardboard cut outs. The story is so insipid and so convoluted I can only imagine hillbillies and small dogs being entertained. Judi Dench, one of the finest actresses to practice her craft must have been drunk or drugged when she agreed to do this film. Anyone who needs proof that the Oscars are a sham needs only to be told Paltrow won an Oscar for this piece of drivel.
Never was a story of such woe
than awarding an Oscar to Paltrow