Complete, Unadulterated Ass

Rating: 5/10 (7 March 2015)

Once at school I ran for student government as a joke. For my own entertainment. I had a speech prepared that said I needed 80% of everyone's annual income to host a Metallica concert and a whole lot of other crazy bullshit. I got a special talking to by the principal about the content of my speech and was given 5 minutes to make a new one. So, I delivered over the PA system one of the worst speeches of all time. A freshman dude later said to me, "everyone voted for you because your speech was ass." I love the word "ass" when it's used as an adjective. So, despite all Selma's amazing speeches from one of America's best public speakers, the movie was ass. Adjective form of ass.
Let's start with Dr. King. He's a perfect character. Irrational behavior makes stories. Martin is a true gentleman and Christian throughout, as he should be. But is that interesting at all to watch? No. I didn't feel for him. The only mistake Dr. King makes is cheating on his wife and when she finds out, he does the right thing and owns up to what he did. Martin doesn't do much. He mostly watches other people being bludgeoned and has discussions with the president where he makes good points in a respectful way. It was a banal portrayal of an interesting man who did interesting things.
Selma was decently acted and I enjoyed the directing. The use of authentic southern black music was great. The sequence with the initial march across the bridge and mass beating used the music well, as if to say, "we can still make it, you guys." The movie had a very hopeful message. But hey, we see great acting and directing in movies all the time. It was here for the duration of Selma, but that didn't save the movie from the mass organized crapfest that it turned out to be. If I walk into a movie NOT planning to make fun of it, the screenwriter has the job of making damn sure that I don't make fun of it. At the end, the movie claims that "there isn't a black problem or white problem, but an American problem." They show people of all races working together. Yet, the cops giving the beat-downs don't have their faces shown, a technique to dehumanize. It's a movie about how people can mistreat people, but after loving people regardless of race, there's no love left for people who don't love you back. So why see the violent cops as inhuman? It doesn't help with the themes of acceptance. The real MLK said to judge people on the content of their character, not race. However, the black characters who want to murder and fight are only not able. Aside from this, there aren't any real flaws in the directing.
Selma is a well-acted movie about violent racism (those ballsy sons of bitches talking about race in such a biased country), but I stopped caring half way through. For all the white people beating black people, there isn't much opposition for Dr. King in the second half, making things fade away from conflict where they should be getting more intense. In the end, Martin is given everything he was trying for in a flowery gift basket. There's no real climax, it's just, "hey, Marty, you've been chill, so here's some success."
My being stupid in going for student government is what made it entertaining for me and everyone else who witnessed it. All Selma's civil rights activists act properly throughout. The one character who suggests shooting the cops is talked down by his rational colleague to ensure that I didn't see a someone associated with King mess up. Not being entertaining is the most grievous sin that can sexually violate the virgin body of a story. Selma's screenplay is going to be murdered in prison for this and sent to the burning seventh circle of Hell for its violence against art. It was non-engaging, uninteresting ass.