Use the DVD as a Coaster If You Want Your Full Money's Worth

Rating: 2/10 (29 April 2005)

Using your copy of "Seabiscuit" to set drinks on would be a more interesting use for it than actually playing the boring thing. Oh, what a safe, boring, dull movie this is. Gary Ross obviously went to the Ron Howard school of directing, where points are pounded home with a hammer and anvil and manipulated emotions are manufactured with assembly-line rapidity. This is the kind of movie where everyone delivers lines that sound like they should be on self-help bumper stickers; homilies are handed out like parking tickets. And the movie doesn't end until each character gets to deliver at least one clunker, and most of them get to deliver many more. "Seabiscuit" isn't even really a bad movie--it's an uninteresting movie, which is much worse. Even bad movies can be fascinating, but the filmmakers here aim so low at trying to please the lowest common denominator of viewer that they've put together a batch of pandering mush that has not one genuine emotion in it.
Yuck...
Grade: F