Profound? Interesting? FEH! Get outta here!

Rating: Null/10 (11 September 1999)

[NB: this review may contain a semi-spoiler]
Congratulations on crafting such a wonderful work of life-affirming art, I DON'T think. I saw this movie on the TV last night; I'd had no particular expectations of it, though I'd heard it'd been given big raps. All I can ask now is: why? Seven - sorry, 'Se7en' - is burdened by, well, a ridiculous contrivance of a title; intellectual pretension masquerading as profundity (half-baked references to Dante, Thomas Aquinas, the Bible, etc, etc); an oh-so-creaky plot full of holes - think on this once you've seen the movie, people: what if the killer had decided to BUY all his literature? Whither then, Mr Magic FBI guy? - and an extremely bleak outlook on just about everything that does nothing for me, at least, in the 'reasons to want to get out of bed tomorrow morning' stakes. The ending is, in a word, gross. (Not to mention able to be spotted coming from a million miles off.) Why are joyless, heartless movies like this made? Sure, it'd be no fun if every other flick was 'It's a Wonderful Life', but... it's not my cup