Somebody hand me a razor blade...

Rating: 2/10 (26 February 1999)

...so I can put myself out of my misery right now. This is the most bleak, depressing movie I have ever seen. A completely joyless experience. What I wanted to see was a detective story about the pursuit of a shocking series of murders...what I got was an overwritten, pretentious philosophical treatise on the nature of good and evil, with no detective work whatsoever. In almost every scene, there were table lamps that only lit the square inch that surrounded the bulbs; it never stopped p***ing down rain, and everything was cold and dark to the point where you couldn't see what in the Sam Hill was going on. Okay, I get the point already! Yeesh. Bleach. Terrible.